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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Fugy, Son of Fugy decided it was time to get his own dog. His next door neighbours had started to notice that Rover, their Rhodesian Ridgeback had been staying out all night with Fugy.
He decided that the dog's home would be the place to go. Unfortunately he had been banned from nearly all of them, and had to travel to Truro, where they didn't know him yet.
He got dressed up in his favourite red velvet pantaloons, yellow gingham shirt, green waistcoat and red pointy hat. He wanted to make a good first impression on his new love .... errr... dog, so he also put on a polka dot bow tie. This made him look like a minature Robin Day at a fancy dress party.
He got into his little red and yellow convertible, waved goodbye to Big Ears and wished him a good days fishing at the garden pond. He set off for the long drive ahead.
Eventually he arrived at the Truro Dog's Home. After taking his time to look around at all the dogs, he settled on a young english cocker spaniel. Every time the Warden said cocker...fugy giggled.
Fugy, being the kind of gnome that he is, decided to call his new pet "Sex".
Now, over time, Fugy began to regret this name. Sex had been very embarrassing to him.
When he went to the Angus Council Office to see about a dog license (he didn't know they were no longer needed) he told the clerk that he would like to have a license for Sex.
The clerk looked at him and said "I'd like to have one too."
Fugy replied in an exasperated tone , "but this is a dog."
The clerk said he didn't care what she looked like.
Fugy was starting to get irritated, "You don't understand, I've had Sex since yesterday."
The clerk told him it had been months since he'd had sex!
Fugy took Big Ears for a dirty weekend in Blackpool. He took the dog with him. He told the receptionist that he wanted a room for Big Ears and himself, and a special room for Sex.
The recetionist said that every room in the place was for sex.
Fugy patiently explained, "You don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at night." The receptionist said that it kept her awake at night too.
The following month, Fugy entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked him why he was just standing there, looking around. He told her that he had planned to have Sex in the contest. The other contestant just tutted and stormed off!
It was not long before the police arrived, Sargeant View and Constable Toon (he had been demoted after an unfortunate incident with the Chief Constable's nephew in the park toilets) carted poor Fugy off. All the time he was screaming "I need sex!!!"
He didn't see the glint in the eyes of the two policeman as they cuffed him and put him into the van.......poor Fugy
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