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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Fugy, son of Fugy decided that the time was right for him to take a life partner. With the advent of civil partnerships there was now nothing to hold him back.
He dressed in his favourite red pantaloons, yellow gingham shirt, green waistcoat and pointy hat. He spent endless miutes down at the harbour, waiting for the cargo ships to dock and unload the sex hungry sailors. Fugy set his sites on a young, oily looking philippino ladyboy sailor. He took the sailor to a bar, got him d*unk then rushed him down to the registrar for a quickie ceremony.
The fantasy of having a young nubile ladyboy in his bed soon became a nightmare when he found that he could not last long enough to satisfy his young bedmate.
Drew Hu Flung Dung, the new "Mrs" Fugy, as understanding as he was exciting, told Fugy that all was well even if he was quick to get out of the saddle.
Determined to satisfy this sweet young phillipino dreamboat, Fugy visited the doctor to get some advice.
"Doctor, I can't seem to hold back for very long when I make love to my young bedmate and I just can't satisfy him. What can I do?"
The doctor smiled and patted Fugy on the head in a patronising way. He looked the little gnome in the eye and said in a professional manner,
"Try a bit of self-stimulation before having intercourse, but no window licking, with your partner and you'll find that you'll last longer and ultimately satisfy him."
Fugy left the doctor with a new spring in his step and a twinkle in his eye. His cheeks glowed a rosy red colour.
Later that afternoon, while Fugy was down at the garden pond fishing with his pals, his young sailor called him to let him know that he would be attacking Fugy at the front door when he arrived home. "Be prepared, my darling little gnome. I'm going to ravish you," he cooed over the phone.
Fugy couldnt bear the wait. He made his excuses, hopped off his toadstool and packed his fishing rod ready to go home.
He decided to follow the doctor's advice. But where? In the potting shed? Behind the compost bin? What if someone discovered him? He got into his little red and yellow convertible and decided to go for a quick drive.
He decided he would find a spot on the road to pull over, climb underneath the little Fugy mobile and pretend to be inspecting the rear axle, and do the deed there.
A moment later, he pulled over into a quiet layby on a hill, crawled beneath the car, closed his eyes tightly, fantasized about his oily young sailor ladyboy, and began his ‘therapy’.
A few minutes later, just as he was about to complete his therapy session, he felt someone tugging on his pantaloonsg. Keeping his eyes tightly shut to avoid ruining the fantasy he was enjoying, he said, "Yes?"
"Sir, I'm Constable View from the Tayside Police. Could you tell me what you are doing, please? "
"Errrr.....Yes, officer, I'm inspecting my car's rear axle," replied Fugy confidently.
"Well, why don't you check the brakes while you're down there. Your car rolled down the hill a few minutes ago."
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