FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > The chronic time waster problem
The chronic time waster problem
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Twice today I have been stood up by couples. Now I do appreciate the fact that sometimes life intervenes but it is a common occurrence. It's also unfair that single guys get a lot of the flak for this but the MF couples and single Females seem to escape all criticism of this.
As a result it is getting more and more difficult for the genuine among us to arrange a meet. This then has an adverse affect in that people will naturally form cliques as they know that these people will remain reliable. This therefore makes it more and more difficult to arrange new meets and meet new people - something that is one of the core values of swinging.
Is there anything that we, as a community, can do to help eliminate this? Is there anything in the rules of the website that allows us to name and shame the culprits? Perhaps the moderators could bring in a 3 strike system meaning that they offender would serve a ban of 6months. I'd love to hear what everyone's thoughts are on this, as it seems to be getting worse and ultimately ruining the whole essence of the website. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I don't think so as before I was on this site for years but I closed the account when I got into a relationship. The problem was there then - certainly in my experience.
Iv since opened it up again to find the issues are worse. Maybe my longevity on the site is a factor, but I'm not sure that's the issue. It's arranging meets driving out to have them cancelled. The genuine folk who do meet, would decide early on or not if they are interested before it got to that stage. |
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For me still comes down on you you arranged two meets whether both together or after disappointmemt from first its your process at fault if no showsIis a constant issue as ive said met plenty folk and never had a no show in all my time I still meet now without any problems  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just had a read at your latest status update please forgive me as I'm not censoring you but your not making things better for your self as many are aware on the site some people have had moans and groans about single men and as you are right there are genuine guys who get time wasted , but so do couples see it from their point of you and male or female will be playing with someone elses partner into their marriage/relationship take that into consideration for all parties concerned but yes if they aren't sure they should have made you aware  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How can anyone know what (if anything) you're doing wrong..
Anyone who is repeatedly facing no shows at arranged meets needs to look at their own selection process IMHO. "
Wise words |
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"In both instances I was contacted though.
If I am doing something wrong I would like to hear it, so I can resolve it. "
I'm not saying it doesn't happen but two meets falling into your lap in one day is pretty unique for single guys on here.
My advice would be to rethink your selection process did you speak to both couples via phone? or was all chat just here?
I'd also say take your time to get to know someone before giving out your home address to someone uve known five mins.. Good luck xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As has been said, research and gut feeling our key. If its too good to be true it probably is. Never had a time waster in the 3years + we have been here, but we take our time to get to know people.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As has been said, research and gut feeling our key. If its too good to be true it probably is. Never had a time waster in the 3years + we have been here, but we take our time to get to know people. "
Agreed - take your time to get to know people and you'll have more luck - not had my time wasted once in 4 years and have made many a friend first before meeting them for fun
Greg |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My point of view is that I reserve the right to change my mind at any point and respect that others share that privilege. My body, my time, my choice. Sometimes things are said after arrangements are made that can make you have second thoughts. If you were informed that your meets were cancelled then that to me is not time wasting just plan changing. As far as im aware none of us are under any obligation on fab.
Someone on the other hand who just doesn't show up and then blocks is indeed a waste of time but in that instance I would see it as a blessing that I didn't meet someone so lacking in manners.
As has been said by previous posters its all in getting to know people first.Time spent getting to know people is never wasted, whatever the outcome. If you are looking for an instant meet....then I'm afraid you have to take your chances. I wish you better luck in the future OP....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yesterday I arranged a gangbang. During the course of the say I had over 100 guys emailing. More than once. Try dealing with that for starters.
Out of all who said they would attend a
Nd by the way I wanted masses. Around 1/5 turned up. I had as excuses the police turned up. My care broke down. My mum couldn't drop me off.
During my party I spent the night dealing with this and trying to keep up with mail.
One guy I forgot about I invited round after the party to play.
No on the time wasting part try remember that a meet can turn into the above and frankly you have not much chance keeping up.
You have to babysit guys and hold their hands.
Try it as your brain would blow up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't think its fair to generalise to be honest some very genuine people of all sexes on here and some who may be genuine but reserve the right to changer their mind but yes agree talking to someone its easier to gauge if they are genuinely interested in a meet |
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By *z ThongzWoman
over a year ago
Lanarkshire |
Timewaster is someone who arranges a meet but doesn't turn up with no prior warning, if they tell you before the meeting time that they can't meet for what ever reason isn't timewasting , could be annoying having to change your plans but at least they let you know and remember everyone has the right to change their mind.
I guess i am lucky but have never had a timewaster and I put this down to getting to know someone first, texting, chatting on the phone and even meeting at social events even before thinking about having a coffee together, i always say to folks this is not a race take your time and make meeting a natural progression rather than the sole goal. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get pissed off with fake time wasting profiles false people using porn star or stolen pics fooling genuine folk into things really does my head. Theres a good few on here whose pics are blantly fake after checking them on google and yes i have reported but profiles still live aaaaarrrrgggghhhh |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
Been on here about 18 months, only once had a meet turn up late - he was going to cancel as he didn't think I was genuine, altho he had my phone number. A text to ask where he was, and he was there 30 mins later.
If people are consistently wasting your time, look for the common denominator - i.e. YOU! Is there something in your selection process thats letting you down? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is not directed at you OP but too many men think the 'essence of the website' is join up = fuck city!!!
Like many things in life the notion of patience is almost non existent. Incredible as it may seem not every woman wishes to sleep with every man here.
There's so much more to this than finding someone who will want you or being down over someone who doesn't. Once realised its much more pleasant
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Their mum could drop them off...... LLF that must have been an interesting conversation, mum will you take me out, out to where, to a gangban....... Emmmm the shops  |
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