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ultimate put down?

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By *oe bloggs69 OP   Man  over a year ago

fife

Heard my dad say this yrs ago on building site when a young gobshite was giving anyone n everyone lip....."Yr dad must have wished he'd had a wank the night you were conceived" cant beat that but feel free to try

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By *all saulMan  over a year ago

Dunbartonshire

heard a few been on the receiving end a couple of times haha

oxygen thief is a classic

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By *oe bloggs69 OP   Man  over a year ago

fife

Lol aye that's a good one as well

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

She has been sluiced in's absence and his pond fishe'd by his next neighbour.

(The Winter's Tale)

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By *all saulMan  over a year ago

Dunbartonshire

I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire

I give you a kicking but its morally wrong to hurt dumb animals

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Your mother should have swallowed you

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By *UNKIEMan  over a year ago

south east

It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress

"Full Metal Jacket"

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By *all saulMan  over a year ago

Dunbartonshire

your were a mistake

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Yer maw.

Simple, can be used in a range of ways and effective.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I wouldnt fuck you on a football trip

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I wouldnt fuck you if i had a hard on the size of blackpool tower

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Once off the best i ever heard was from a female friend off mine . It started when she meet a guy who was an arrogant twat and wanted to fuck her silly so he said he had a dick like a horse so sure enough the invite was given to come to her house and give her a good seeing too and more with this horse dick he had . So the evening arrived and so did the guy so after a few drinks they got down to the dirty as she was not one for sucking cock she asked the guy to get right in there with his cock so she could feel what it was like to get fucked by a dick the size off a horses , so the guy was pumping away when she cried out ( for fuck sake can you take that finger out and put your cock in ) so all off a sudden the guy stopped pulled out zipped up the flies and fuck off never to been seen again .lol

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By *oe bloggs69 OP   Man  over a year ago

fife

LLF

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Once off the best i ever heard was from a female friend off mine . It started when she meet a guy who was an arrogant twat and wanted to fuck her silly so he said he had a dick like a horse so sure enough the invite was given to come to her house and give her a good seeing too and more with this horse dick he had . So the evening arrived and so did the guy so after a few drinks they got down to the dirty as she was not one for sucking cock she asked the guy to get right in there with his cock so she could feel what it was like to get fucked by a dick the size off a horses , so the guy was pumping away when she cried out ( for fuck sake can you take that finger out and put your cock in ) so all off a sudden the guy stopped pulled out zipped up the flies and fuck off never to been seen again .lol "

Haha!!! I could've used that a few times

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

best a heared was a guy saying to his mate after an barney : the best part of you ran down ur mothers leg : made me laugh

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Cockwomble

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I wouldn't even fuck you under a bus, you've got a face like a melted welly

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I wouldn't ride you into battle

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Your face looks like it's been set on fire and put out with a golf shoe

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By *UNKIEMan  over a year ago

south east


"I wouldn't ride you into battle "

i would

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I wouldn't ride you into battle

i would "

If I met you would I have to shove my hand up your rear

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You've got a face like a pitbull licking piss aff a thistle

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/04/15 16:50:57]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Face like an old man's knee.

Tide wouldn't take her out.

Best part of you ran down yer maws leg

Reckon Scotland has the best put down lines lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A face like it's been dooking for chips

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

She's like a rottweiller wi tits

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

What's the best sexual position to make the ugliest person alive

Ask yer maw n da

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By *ig TennentsMan  over a year ago

Glasgow

Your like custard! The longer you stand there the thicker you get.

And if I want your opinion I'll throw you a banana

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By *uitar_antiheroMan  over a year ago

Glasgow

You're so ugly when you were born the doctor slapped yer maw

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Face like a Rottweiler chewing a wasps nest.

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By *riction addictionMan  over a year ago

bathgate

Would rather fight it than fuck it

Fanny like a butcher's wheelie bin

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

This wasn't a put down but I once mistook the real simon Weston for a lookie likely, bit of a cringer

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

was that it

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By *ancognitoMan  over a year ago

Glasgow

Is it in?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Overheard in a pub one saturday lunchtime,

Girl walked up to a guy and said "hi i saw you looking at me"

His answer "aw sorry hen, i was miles away, day dreaming about a bacon sandwich"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Overheard in a pub one saturday lunchtime,

Girl walked up to a guy and said "hi i saw you looking at me"

His answer "aw sorry hen, i was miles away, day dreaming about a bacon sandwich"

"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I wouldnae even touch him wi' yours.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You look like you've been swimming in the shallow end of the gene pool.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You must have strong arms......to climb out the abortion bucket....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Wouldn't shag you wi a bag of stolen cocks.

Fanny like a punched lasagne.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Borrowed from the book of face:

"I'm not saying you're ugly, but if your face was an emoticon, nobody would use it"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"You must have strong arms......to climb out the abortion bucket...."

that's disgusting and not remotely funny

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"You must have strong arms......to climb out the abortion bucket....

that's disgusting and not remotely funny"

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By *ola cubesMan  over a year ago

coatbridge

If you take that line Are they not all disgusting comments though

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Your as much use as a chocolate fire guard

Your a waste if a good skin

Your as much use as a 6" nail in my boot

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"You must have strong arms......to climb out the abortion bucket....

that's disgusting and not remotely funny"

AGREE !!!

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