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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I sleep with him and his wife dosnt know should I feel guilty? "
Hard one. Been there. Just go with what your tummy tells you if u feel sad or bad then u know why xx |
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What others had said - you're both adults at the end of the day. I've been there before - and not sure how I feel about doing it again - probably won't tbh. If there are kids involved then I personally steer clear as that kind of thing could ruin a home if found out.. If no kids - I think it just goes back to two adults making a decision. It'll vary from person to person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
If I sleep with him and his wife dosnt know should I feel guilty? "
Had done in the past my consense got the better of me, now I stay clear due to the fact leave your bed & goes back to playing happy families. But you do what you feel right it's only you that can answer for yourself x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
If I sleep with him and his wife dosnt know should I feel guilty?
Had done in the past my consense got the better of me, now I stay clear due to the fact leave your bed & goes back to playing happy families. But you do what you feel right it's only you that can answer for yourself x"
***Conscience |
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By *976scottMan
over a year ago
North Lanarkshire |
I think it's really up to the person who is married to feel guilty! Especially if they are on fab and other sites looking, that's more premeditated than just meeting someone on a night out and doing something on the spur of the moment!
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"
If I sleep with him and his wife dosnt know should I feel guilty?
Had done in the past my consense got the better of me, now I stay clear due to the fact leave your bed & goes back to playing happy families. But you do what you feel right it's only you that can answer for yourself x"
This  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ive steered clear but I'm thinking of changing that,I'm not the one cheating so why should it bother me.
Plus with all the morally ambiguous stuff that's been done to me I'm losing my ability differentiate a moral line when it comes to sex, so many mind games women play... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've done it only because the wife does not want sex any more she's lost her labido and I'm glad I did it's opened up some sort of pressure valve to relieve my sexual frustration and I'll certainly think about doing it again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
If I sleep with him and his wife dosnt know should I feel guilty? "
This is a hard one .if your asking then as an individual you should already know the answer.there really is no right or wrong to such a question because it all depends on the circumstances..it both right and wrong to get drawn into this scenario.only you can decide with your conscience which one it is.even then if you ask such a question the answers will be both helpfull and hurtful.free will gives you the right to make your own. Mind up...
Ps have the ducks targeted you yet |
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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
I'm sorry, but there is no 'one size fits all' answer.
Everyone is different.
Everyone has their own reasons for being on fab.
Never judge as you never know what goes on behind closed doors.
OP, do what YOU feel is right for YOU and you alone.
Good luck  |
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"See I think if I was married I'd probably bring it up with her... See if it isn't something that can be fixed assuming its not a medical issue."
this makes no sense in one breath you say your changing your moral line then the next breath you reinstate it. for me if you enter into an encounter with someone you know is cheating your as guilty as them everything else that gets said is to excuse behaviour
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I think it's entirely up to the individual.
I'm married and my husband knows I'm on here and it isn't a problem for us. Every relationship is different and what works for one may not work for the other.
If a man didn't want to meet me because I'm married then I'd respect that. As long as everyone is open and honest then I don't see a problem |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"See I think if I was married I'd probably bring it up with her... See if it isn't something that can be fixed assuming its not a medical issue.this makes no sense in one breath you say your changing your moral line then the next breath you reinstate it. for me if you enter into an encounter with someone you know is cheating your as guilty as them everything else that gets said is to excuse behaviour"
My morals say if you are single and sleep with someone married, the married one bears all the responsibility.
6 months ago I'd have agreed with you but since I choose not to guilt myself if I sleep with someone married I can't have a slightly differing opinion if I was the one cheating on a spouse?
Just incase this looks like I'm advocating cheating I'm not, ive never cheated on a partner in my life and never will. |
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"See I think if I was married I'd probably bring it up with her... See if it isn't something that can be fixed assuming its not a medical issue.this makes no sense in one breath you say your changing your moral line then the next breath you reinstate it. for me if you enter into an encounter with someone you know is cheating your as guilty as them everything else that gets said is to excuse behaviour
My morals say if you are single and sleep with someone married, the married one bears all the responsibility.
6 months ago I'd have agreed with you but since I choose not to guilt myself if I sleep with someone married I can't have a slightly differing opinion if I was the one cheating on a spouse?
Just incase this looks like I'm advocating cheating I'm not, ive never cheated on a partner in my life and never will."
for me if you know they are married and cheating you share the responsibility |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It might be the time of year, all the time wasters annoying me over the last week and the tiredness of packing.
I'm not normally so cynical but just to keep ya happy I've not slept with a married woman before (that wasn't part of a married swinging couple) but I still reserve the right too... 
Until I have it's pure speculation  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I found this quote the other day..
'Don't judge someone because they sin differently to you...'
You need to walk a mile in someone else's shoes before you know why they do what they do...do what is right FOR YOU! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP
Your thread has as it's subject matter always does brought out the hi moral ground of some of our members.
Swinging was originally referred to in its infancy as wife swapping as it consisted of couples usually married who met at parties with the sole purposes of swapping for pure sexual purposes.
The only thing this set has in common with swinging is its title. This is a website where people come together to indulge in sexual dalliances with or without their partners and a place for deviant singles who think its a dial a shag service
Now your problem is your seeing a man who is married and most likely on here without the knowledge of his wife.
Now I ask you this, if he were a married man you met at a swinging party and his wife was |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Continue on I'm all thumbs tonight
His wife was playing in another room would you give it another thought,, most likely not.
However, she is not in a other room and you are in a dilemna about your own moral feelings
Asking people on here is like poking a hornets next with a stick just to see if you got stung.
This is a decision only you can make, do not be swung by the morals of other people.
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"I found this quote the other day..
'Don't judge someone because they sin differently to you...'
You need to walk a mile in someone else's shoes before you know why they do what they do...do what is right FOR YOU! "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
If I sleep with him and his wife dosnt know should I feel guilty? "
Are you having fun ?
Are you expecting more from him ?
When it stops being fun and you start to feel jealous of his Mrs it's time to walk away .....in my opinion.
Oh and yeah, I have checked out your profile  |
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"
If I sleep with him and his wife dosnt know should I feel guilty? "
No one can tell you how you should feel . All I'd say is have your eyes wide open in making a decision. If there's any doubt walk away . If you do go ahead with it then just be prepared for all the fall out should he be found out . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I found this quote the other day..
'Don't judge someone because they sin differently to you...'
You need to walk a mile in someone else's shoes before you know why they do what they do...do what is right FOR YOU! "
Very wise words |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Amazed that people think the op isn't cheating. Of there cheating if you knowingly meet someone who is married. Your aware they have a wife or husband . So your part of the decite. |
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"Amazed that people think the op isn't cheating. Of there cheating if you knowingly meet someone who is married. Your aware they have a wife or husband . So your part of the decite."
alot of folk prefer to hide behind the excuses..... his/her partner is a bad person to them...... but he/she really loves me...... its just sex...... he/she is stuck in a loveless/sexless relationship true or not it makes no diffrence you are part of that decipt. it wont change folk prefer when possible to take no guilt. to be fair to the op she hasnt said she is meeting him more guaging folks thoughts on it
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We get it, those of us who meet married people are the spawn of satan and should be ashamed of ourselves. Give it a sodding rest.
So tired of all the judgemental crap on here, I really am. Everyone else on here is an angel, apparently. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Amazed that people think the op isn't cheating. Of there cheating if you knowingly meet someone who is married. Your aware they have a wife or husband . So your part of the decite.alot of folk prefer to hide behind the excuses..... his/her partner is a bad person to them...... but he/she really loves me...... its just sex...... he/she is stuck in a loveless/sexless relationship true or not it makes no diffrence you are part of that decipt. it wont change folk prefer when possible to take no guilt. to be fair to the op she hasnt said she is meeting him more guaging folks thoughts on it "
Yip get there cake & eat it till the shit hits the fan & declare dying love to partner. See it many a time he /she was a mistake |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
OP: do what you feel right for you.
If people would just get on with it, rather than asking, broadcasting, justifying,grandstanding and endless debating... Life could be easier |
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"OP: do what you feel right for you.
If people would just get on with it, rather than asking, broadcasting, justifying,grandstanding and endless debating... Life could be easier "
notquite as fun or colourful though pmsl |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The OP hasn't said she met him here"
True, I didn't meet him on here. Met at a party, have a real spark and lots of tension - not liking for a long term thing.
I'm sort of thinking that I'm not actually cheating on anyone, but probably wouldn't go through with it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The OP hasn't said she met him here
True, I didn't meet him on here. Met at a party, have a real spark and lots of tension - not liking for a long term thing.
I'm sort of thinking that I'm not actually cheating on anyone, but probably wouldn't go through with it. "
The ducks will answer you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP: do what you feel right for you.
If people would just get on with it, rather than asking, broadcasting, justifying,grandstanding and endless debating... Life could be easier "
Essentially this BUT in saying that... you are both adults and if you enter into something both knowing your situation then there is not need for feelings of guilt... if someone is on here and married the fault is not with whomever meets them - the fault is in the marriage - that maybe sortable but it's up to the couple to do that... just a thought...
Red   |
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All very good points but there's also the fact that maybe it's just sex! That human attraction where two people just want to have sex and that's it. No emotional baggage,no what about the kids stuff. On this site people have sex with near strangers all the time, we've never asked for a note from the wife.
My wife can have sex with anyone she wants but because we love each other so much I'm not threatened by it. Go with what makes you happy. And have a great Christmas. R |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Make basic answer is:- if you find out after the fact, then no, you shouldn't feel guilty. If you know before hand, then probably you should. As you are a willing accomplice.
Just put yourself in her shoes. If it was your man and the she knew, how would you feel? About him and her etc?
We wouldn't knowingly touch anyone with a partner, who is in the dark, with a barge poll.
People may have their justifications / excuses why they cheat. But deep down we all know they are just trying to defend the indefensible. Really grow a set of balls, talk the issues through with your partner. If they agree to let you play solo! Woohoo, let's have fun. If not, they stick together and don't cheat or split up. Atleast there is honest, respect and integrity in that approach. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Couples on here, are here because we have been open and honest with each other. Talked our feelings through and found common ground, mutual interests. We think we should be promoting this, rather than cheating and dishonesty x |
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"Couples on here, are here because we have been open and honest with each other. Talked our feelings through and found common ground, mutual interests. We think we should be promoting this, rather than cheating and dishonesty x"
Exactly! Tell him to talk to his wife and find out what SHE wants from their sex life, and what she'd need from him to reassure her that he still loves her (presumably) while swinging. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you feel the need to ask that question on here then you probably already realise what your answer is "
This.Every situation is different of course. If a married woman wanted to start something with me I shouldn't feel guilty. However I would only go ahead if the person in question didn't have school age children. It's one thing a potential hand grenade being lobbed at a marriage but I wouldn't want to be the cause of young lives having their rug pulled out from under them.... |
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