FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > to bi or not to bi
to bi or not to bi
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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that is the question - whether it be better to say str8 on a profile or risk rejection then being open about it
Surely in the 21st century when it is acceptible for Gay men and women to be open about it, bi men and women should be able to be open too.
unless a bi guy (or girl) is an idiot they would not move on a str8 guy (or girl) so why exclude them?
Please dont assume that anyone replying with str8 on their profile is not str8 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"well am straight an that it far its goes i am only interested in females"
we know that most men are str8 the question to you would be if a couple with a bi male would you meet them on the understanding that no bi play would be done? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mr TandS is str8 but we have met both bi guys and bi couples for fun ... personally we dont see a problem with this so long as everyone knows the boundaries from the start xx |
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By *ane DTV/TS
over a year ago
Glasgow & Surrounds |
I'm greedy too, I like both....
However I do get messages from 'Straight' guys wanting to get in my knickers.
It's amazing the number that don't answer you back when you ask why they say they are straight. Or they block you cause you had the balls to question them...
Waste of time and oxygen. |
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Conversely, it's astonishing how many DON'T say what they want!
BY FAR the majority of guys who contact me have "straight" in their profile.
I'm not sure whom they are kidding, but as a rule I just delete their mails. My guess is they are probably sneaking about behind someone's back, and I can't really be bothered with that hassle. On a site like this there's really no need to be dishonest.
I do also feel sorry for the women and couples who don't want to meet a bi guy. Because there's really no way of telling on this site. There's a LOT of "straight" guys on here that are nothing of the kind. |
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One of the great pleasures of swinging is the ability to be honest and up front about your needs and desires. I have played with couples bi and straight and I hope that I am sensitive enough to others to respect boundaries where they exist. I call myself straight for two reasons - Firstly, whilst I am not attracted to males on their own, I love the freedom and pleasure that comes from not worrying about whose hand or mouth goes where during a threesome. Sharing with a relaxed and sensual couple (you know who you are!) is one of my sexual highlights. Secondly, when I put 'bi' on my profile and specified couples only, my mailbox was rammed with single males. I don't want to meet men 121, but I love sharing with couples - so what does that make me? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One of the great pleasures of swinging is the ability to be honest and up front about your needs and desires. I have played with couples bi and straight and I hope that I am sensitive enough to others to respect boundaries where they exist. I call myself straight for two reasons - Firstly, whilst I am not attracted to males on their own, I love the freedom and pleasure that comes from not worrying about whose hand or mouth goes where during a threesome. Sharing with a relaxed and sensual couple (you know who you are!) is one of my sexual highlights. Secondly, when I put 'bi' on my profile and specified couples only, my mailbox was rammed with single males. I don't want to meet men 121, but I love sharing with couples - so what does that make me?"
If you tried and liked and want more of it it makes you Bisexual, not bi-curious.
Use the message filter to block single males. Thats what they are there for.
Now as the poster above you pointed out, some couples will not meet bi guys, they have their reasons. each to ones own. (sometimes it is down to the risk of STD's)
But how many of the straight guys they meet actually say there bi to others.
There's always something for everyone on here if you are patient enough to find it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm bi and am happy to put it on my profile. I would say the messages I get are as follows,
20% from couples were the guy is bi and wife wants to join in, my preference
30% from couples where guy is bi and wanting to meet alone, ie wifey doesn't know,
10% from bi guys, usually genuine
40% from str8 or "curious" guys who talk but never want to meet or cancel or don't show
Is this normal with other folks? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
40% from str8 or "curious" guys who talk but never want to meet or cancel or don't show
Is this normal with other folks?"
that low? sure most of us get it.
but they are not kidding you or us, just themselves or someone else,
one day the penny will drop. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally i don't like labelling but i guess in life it's a must. No-one wants ther beans on toast to end up as custard.
I reckon it's down to open-mindedness. I've never had any sexual contact with guys, nor do i feel the urge. I often wonder tho, were i with a couple blindfolded, and being orally pleasured would i know the difference. Would the pleasure suddenly turn to disgust were the blindfold taken off to reveal it was a male mouth? Reckon a martian bj would sexually excite me! Am i UFOsexual?
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People dont like to labled more so men we live in an increasing world where bisexual or lesbian women are very much accepted but bisexual or gay men are not.
Yes ud think on a site like this where ppl are more open about sex and sexuality it would be accepted but sadly bisexual men and gay men are still frowned upon which is quite sad really .
just be as honest as you can be with the people you intend to meet and leave the choice as to weather they wish continue to a meet if not then move on to the next person xxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There does seem to be a helluva lot more openly bisexual women on Fab than men. But why, then, does it seem there are a helluva lot more openly gay men goin about than there are gay women? |
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"There does seem to be a helluva lot more openly bisexual women on Fab than men. But why, then, does it seem there are a helluva lot more openly gay men goin about than there are gay women? "
is there hadnt noticed plenty of gay women out there too |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"
Yes ud think on a site like this where ppl are more open about sex and sexuality it would be accepted but sadly bisexual men and gay men are still frowned upon which is quite sad really .
"
True Jac but,
It is up to the individual if you allow yourself to feel frowned upon ... I never have nor will I, because of my sexuality. I am an equal to everyone on here, no better, no worse. All bi or gay guys are. People have the choice to want to meet us or not and if they don't, I don't think they are always homophobic ( very few will be ). Some will find the thought of guys playing off putting, some will think Bi & Gay guys carry a higher sexual risk ( and historically that would be factually correct ) and a good few more reasons.
I have never felt excluded from anything on here because I am Bi but I have been honest from day 1 and I have the same respect for the candid and upfront couples/females that state they won't meet Bi guys. Saves time all round.
Honesty in swinging is always the best option.
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Yes ud think on a site like this where ppl are more open about sex and sexuality it would be accepted but sadly bisexual men and gay men are still frowned upon which is quite sad really .
True Jac but,
It is up to the individual if you allow yourself to feel frowned upon ... I never have nor will I, because of my sexuality. I am an equal to everyone on here, no better, no worse. All bi or gay guys are. People have the choice to want to meet us or not and if they don't, I don't think they are always homophobic ( very few will be ). Some will find the thought of guys playing off putting, some will think Bi & Gay guys carry a higher sexual risk ( and historically that would be factually correct ) and a good few more reasons.
I have never felt excluded from anything on here because I am Bi but I have been honest from day 1 and I have the same respect for the candid and upfront couples/females that state they won't meet Bi guys. Saves time all round.
Honesty in swinging is always the best option.
"
yeah babes think ur right in a lot of what u say xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There does seem to be a helluva lot more openly bisexual women on Fab than men. But why, then, does it seem there are a helluva lot more openly gay men goin about than there are gay women?
is there hadnt noticed plenty of gay women out there too"
It may just be a coincidence of the circles that i walk in. Personally i only know 1 gay girl but numerous gay guys. I still aint met a horny martian tho! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Conversely, it's astonishing how many DON'T say what they want!
BY FAR the majority of guys who contact me have "straight" in their profile.
I'm not sure whom they are kidding, but as a rule I just delete their mails. My guess is they are probably sneaking about behind someone's back, and I can't really be bothered with that hassle. On a site like this there's really no need to be dishonest.
I do also feel sorry for the women and couples who don't want to meet a bi guy. Because there's really no way of telling on this site. There's a LOT of "straight" guys on here that are nothing of the kind."
i dont feel sorry for the couples who dont want to meet bi guys as they prob never find out that the str8 guy they meet is actually bi
i feel sorry for the bi guys who have to pretend to be str8 to fit in - its as if the guys in these couples think bi guys will try to convert them |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"One of the great pleasures of swinging is the ability to be honest and up front about your needs and desires. I have played with couples bi and straight and I hope that I am sensitive enough to others to respect boundaries where they exist. I call myself straight for two reasons - Firstly, whilst I am not attracted to males on their own, I love the freedom and pleasure that comes from not worrying about whose hand or mouth goes where during a threesome. Sharing with a relaxed and sensual couple (you know who you are!) is one of my sexual highlights. Secondly, when I put 'bi' on my profile and specified couples only, my mailbox was rammed with single males. I don't want to meet men 121, but I love sharing with couples - so what does that make me?
If you tried and liked and want more of it it makes you Bisexual, not bi-curious.
Use the message filter to block single males. Thats what they are there for.
Now as the poster above you pointed out, some couples will not meet bi guys, they have their reasons. each to ones own. (sometimes it is down to the risk of STD's)
But how many of the straight guys they meet actually say there bi to others.
There's always something for everyone on here if you are patient enough to find it."
the risk of stds is quoted - if using condoms then the risk of stds is the same as meeting a str8 guy
if you follow the logic then you need to also refuse to meet anyone who has met anbyone who has met a bi guy - all the way back
Yes HIV and other stds exist and anyone not having safe sex is taking a risk but if you remember the 80s anyone with HIV/AIDS was being tagged as gay and bigots loved the excuse to go gay bashing
are we now in an age of bi bashing |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Personally i don't like labelling but i guess in life it's a must. No-one wants ther beans on toast to end up as custard.
I reckon it's down to open-mindedness. I've never had any sexual contact with guys, nor do i feel the urge. I often wonder tho, were i with a couple blindfolded, and being orally pleasured would i know the difference. Would the pleasure suddenly turn to disgust were the blindfold taken off to reveal it was a male mouth? Reckon a martian bj would sexually excite me! Am i UFOsexual?
"
i totally respect this point of _iew - the question i would ask is if a bi guy in a couple told you he would respect your boundaries would you meet them?
It is important to discuss boundaries when arranging meets with anyone - afterall we have met couples who are into watersports or more extreme BDSM, All we needed to do was tell them we are not into toilet play or anything more than light bondage/spanking and we have had a good meet with everyone knowing the limits
likewise some have told us that domination is important to them in a meet so we decided the meet was not for us
if bi play is essential then this should be on the profile - if its not essential then as long as boundaries are respected what difference does it make? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There does seem to be a helluva lot more openly bisexual women on Fab than men. But why, then, does it seem there are a helluva lot more openly gay men goin about than there are gay women? "
I have visited the gay scene and there are a lot of biphobic gays who can be vocal in their objection to bisexuality, some bordering on hatred
Most bi guys in a male/male relationship say they are gay to avoid this pressure in the same way that gays have in the past felt they had to pretend to be str8 in public |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If a bi guy in a couple told me he would respect my boundaries, then yes, i'd probably trust him, and wouldn't be put off. He is lettin me shag his missus after all! No matter who u meet online ur 'taking ther word for it'. Each to ther own tho. Everyone has ther likes, dislikes, and reasons for these. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"If a bi guy in a couple told me he would respect my boundaries, then yes, i'd probably trust him, and wouldn't be put off. He is lettin me shag his missus after all! No matter who u meet online ur 'taking ther word for it'. Each to ther own tho. Everyone has ther likes, dislikes, and reasons for these."
sorry but it is the wife who is agreeing to have sex with you, not the hubby allowing it.
Bi couples should respect boundaries the very same as str8 couples, there should be no difference. It was suggested above that a str8 guy who has never had or considered bi fun would be blindfolded and then sucked by the male... I find that totally unacceptable. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If a bi guy in a couple told me he would respect my boundaries, then yes, i'd probably trust him, and wouldn't be put off. He is lettin me shag his missus after all! No matter who u meet online ur 'taking ther word for it'. Each to ther own tho. Everyone has ther likes, dislikes, and reasons for these.
sorry but it is the wife who is agreeing to have sex with you, not the hubby allowing it.
Bi couples should respect boundaries the very same as str8 couples, there should be no difference. It was suggested above that a str8 guy who has never had or considered bi fun would be blindfolded and then sucked by the male... I find that totally unacceptable."
i agree - if someome agreed to be blindfolded i still would not suck him off unless he had said he was open to it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
sorry but it is the wife who is agreeing to have sex with you, not the hubby allowing it.
"
totally - for us it is gill who has final say over who we meet
both partners need to be equal in swinging or its not swinging |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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With the hubby's consent, tho, i meant. I regularly type with my tongue in my cheek, so don't take all i say all that seriously. The blindfold thing i was merely trying to demonstrate that sexuality is mostly in the mind. Am gonna put my spade away now.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'll back up what a few of the folk here have said, even down as just a bi-curious male I have had messages from str8 guys who were anything but once I got talking to them.
People are entitled to fuck who they like and if a coupe don't want a bi-guy then it is out and out dishonest to pretend you are str8. FFS, think about it. I limit my choices but I'd be creepy if I lied about it. And couples should think about it too.
Having said that I don't see the problem, you respect boundaries and so what. How "straight" is it to watch your wife get fucked by another guy anyway, especially if you are going in for a sloppy afterwards? The STD thing? Either be safe or know that HIV and HCV are unlikely outwith anal sex. Herpes can come from anyone and is very hard to protect against. Play safe but don't panic about it. |
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I think the issue is not so much about being bi - its all about anal sex and attitudes about that.
i'll bet a lot of people assume that the tailpipe is the most filthy orifice known to humankind and it might well be. Ergo, if the guy has been fucking ass, then his cock is just as filthy and a lot of people just dont want to know.
But the same people have no problems with the woman having her ass pounded. Erm ...apart from the skin texture between a male and female ass, is there a difference between fucking male ass and female ass?
Personally - when it comes to anal - I only receive. I'm not looking for mm 1-2-1 - the bi-ness is only in a mmf or mixed group setting.
In closing, I do think there is a lot of bi-phobia from both the str8 and gay communities. not nice |
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Interesting topic.
I love bi fun but it's not the be-all-and-end-all.
I could never be gay - I love pussy far too much but I reall do enjoy oral sex with a guy.
I am totally open about it and feel comfortable with it.
However I don;t like the guys that hit on me assuming that I want their cock up my ass or kiss. To that end, that's maybe why some guys actually put str8 on their profile - to avoid the guys like that.
Me: cock - i like it a lot ..... pussy - i LOVE it
does that make me bi or bi-curious - frankly I coulnt care about tags liek that - i know what i like and I stick to my guns
phew1 rant over!
Enjoy the best of both worlds folks - yum yum
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