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What is your favorite sexual position..
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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For me it's got to be doggie style,there is something so animal like in just grabbing onto a pair of curvy hips and thrashing away..it's even better when the girl is awake  Doggie is best at least i get to pull my best German Porno face without frightening the girl.
Some positions are forced onto you,well have you ever pulled someone in a club under the influence of drink and those neon lights and managed to get them home..only to find out that little cracker wearing the black dress looks like Jaws out of the Bond films,missionary position is a no go in those situations lol(best for both parties,no eye contact)...then again if it is Jaws a blowjob is a no no.
Those nightclub lights have a lot to answer for,i remember a while back being out with my friends and with a combination of strong lager and shots all night i was egged on by my mates to make a move on a girl who they said had been looking over at me all night..a big girl she was..and that i must make a move on her-sure enough i glanced over and she was looking in my direction..and even better she was licking her lips.BINGO
As i made my way over i soon realized she had a lazy eye and was eating a packet of nuts,hence the lip licking and stares lol.Before i knew what had happened the club was closing and i was in the back of a taxi heading home to hers.As we got through her front door there was no subtle coffee or Barry White on the cd player i was thrown on the bed and my clothes ripped off.
Then she stripped off and as she bent over a total eclipse over clydebank occurred,the knickers she had on made Bridget Jones pants look like dental floss and with one terrific thud they hit the floor and before i knew it she was in 69 position,the searing heat was making me unsteady..then the smell hit me..holy fuck i thought i was back in Saltcoats.
I remember gazing up and looking at her beef curtains and thinking Godzilla was going to eat me alive,she then sat on my face,everything was a blur-my tinnitus was back with a bang lol.Then she went on top and i can only describe the next 15 minutes being like a scene from Saving Private Ryan..finally it was over.
As she rolled onto the bed there was to be no tender hugs or kisses for stinkfist..oh no i was put in the recovery position as she just rolled over and crashed out-i remember thinking fuck me your supposed to enjoy your sex life stinkfist.i then drifted off to sleep and as i woke up about an hour later she was still beside me.
I still felt d*unk and i was freezing she had all the quilt so i cuddled into her and decided to chat away to her,i seemed to be doing all the talking and every now and then she would let out a faint sigh and to be honest her breath was not the greatest,as some light began to stream through the curtains i noticed her complexion was quite pasty and skin pock marked..i must have chatted to her for over 30 minutes and when the light eventually lit up enough of the room...i realized i had been chatting to her arse for that 30 minutes..that would explain the soft muffled sighs and the bad breath lol.
Would i get myself in a situation like that ever again..of course you only live once lol.
Well what is your favorite positions guys and gals,does doggie get your vote-maybe you like being on top..or does good old fashioned missionary still do it for you
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we are probably going to be called boring but we like the missionary but with us not lying down flat but pamela almost sitting up a bit.
we are a very kissy couple together so it suits us lol. cant get enough of pamela on top, again facing each other, as i get her great boobs in my face, and can smooch her too.
not a fan of doggy myself, it is not in anyway a loving act lol, plus it hurts pamela when we do it, not that it stops her instructing me to do it |
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By *oonboyMan
over a year ago
livingston |
sorry ...but i cant think of any position as im still wiping the tears from my eyes ......stink ur a legend.....ur stories may be outta a book , but they are class....i salute you!.
i may have a nitemare tonite tho, as it reminds me of some unfortunate encounters as a young man lol
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Very amusing story. I remember pulling a guy in a club, and him taking me home. After getting home and giving me severe stubble rash from kissing, his friends arrived back. He introduced me to his brother and cousin and various friends. He had already stripped off by this point and took me back through to his room and fucking for what felt like seconds but must have in reality been hours.
I was awoken by him touching me up, which was fine, and we had sex again. Then he apologised and said he had no idea who i was. I couldn't help myself but laugh. The funniest part of the whole night was before he fell asleep he cuddled up to me and said....
" I love you"......
Favourite position has to be me on my back but with my legs up over a guys shoulders. OOOOOH BABY. It gets sooo deep and hit's the spot perfectly. Also quite good to get a little clit rubbing action on the go!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Favourite position has to be me on my back but with my legs up over a guys shoulders. OOOOOH BABY. It gets sooo deep and hit's the spot perfectly. Also quite good to get a little clit rubbing action on the go!
xx"
Have to agree with this one! and it leaves your hands free  |
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i think the best position of all time is the" wisha" ......................................................................................................... a wish a could do that , a wish she would do this.......................... and not pull a muscle lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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got to be one i perfected over the years..but like a good magician....never had any complaints and has a 100% success rate for the ladies, and ultimately the gents. |
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