FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > On standby/back burner
On standby/back burner
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Anyone done this or experienced this? Keeping someone going in the back ground that you probably have no intention of getting together with but you know they are keen on you - keep the lines of communication going every now n then with a wee text or message and dont want to see them meeting anyone else? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Anyone done this or experienced this? Keeping someone going in the back ground that you probably have no intention of getting together with but you know they are keen on you - keep the lines of communication going every now n then with a wee text or message and dont want to see them meeting anyone else? "
Nah... That isn't fair. If one isn't feeling the vibes then just let them know and move on. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Anyone done this or experienced this? Keeping someone going in the back ground that you probably have no intention of getting together with but you know they are keen on you - keep the lines of communication going every now n then with a wee text or message and dont want to see them meeting anyone else? "
Suspected this to be the case a few times.. But now I can suss them out pretty quickly. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yep there's loads of folk try this all the time, take advantage of people who do. Try to give benefit of the doubt but it slike lots of relationships though people want to hang onto safe and dependable while they're out looking for fun and mystery |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Anyone done this or experienced this? Keeping someone going in the back ground that you probably have no intention of getting together with but you know they are keen on you - keep the lines of communication going every now n then with a wee text or message and dont want to see them meeting anyone else?
Nah... That isn't fair. If one isn't feeling the vibes then just let them know and move on. "
Dont think its that they're not feeling the vibe just that they will use them if nobody else is available |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Anyone done this or experienced this? Keeping someone going in the back ground that you probably have no intention of getting together with but you know they are keen on you - keep the lines of communication going every now n then with a wee text or message and dont want to see them meeting anyone else?
Suspected this to be the case a few times.. But now I can suss them out pretty quickly. "
Thats good that you are wise to it
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Yep there's loads of folk try this all the time, take advantage of people who do. Try to give benefit of the doubt but it slike lots of relationships though people want to hang onto safe and dependable while they're out looking for fun and mystery "
Thats a good way of putting it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Anyone done this or experienced this? Keeping someone going in the back ground that you probably have no intention of getting together with but you know they are keen on you - keep the lines of communication going every now n then with a wee text or message and dont want to see them meeting anyone else? "
It sadly happens all too often .
If there is no communication then the friendship you once had then breaks down so best to just move on rather than keeping someone hanging on  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think the young folk call this benching - keeping your options open, or breadcrumbing - doing just enough to keep them interested and boosting your ego even though you've no real interest in them.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Its how most guys on here would feel I would imagine. We all sit on the subs bench waiting for our number to get called. I dont mean that in a bad way, its just how it is. I would imagine there are ten to fifteen genuine guys to each genuine woman so its only natural. There are so many timewasters that take up peoples time. The ladies probably spend so much time filtering out the fakes all the genuine guys just wait until they get a chance. Not sure how the ladies view the situation. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Anyone done this or experienced this? Keeping someone going in the back ground that you probably have no intention of getting together with but you know they are keen on you - keep the lines of communication going every now n then with a wee text or message and dont want to see them meeting anyone else? "
No because I’m not a cunt and have respect for other people. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Its just about filtering out the good and the not so good on here. There are plenty of each. You see profiles on here and think, maybe not for me and then contact is made and you are proven wrong. Its always worth taking a chance. Nothing ventured and all that.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Its just about filtering out the good and the not so good on here. There are plenty of each. You see profiles on here and think, maybe not for me and then contact is made and you are proven wrong. Its always worth taking a chance. Nothing ventured and all that...."
Problem with sorting out the good and the not so good is you need to meet them to find out, only then do you learn they are good & nice people or total horrors lol  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A lot of men do it....toss out the breadcrumbs. Pfft! I've a batch of admirers/ex-dates who're also flirty friends, but I make my situation clear to them. It's the respectful thing to do. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Its just about filtering out the good and the not so good on here. There are plenty of each. You see profiles on here and think, maybe not for me and then contact is made and you are proven wrong. Its always worth taking a chance. Nothing ventured and all that...."
I wonder how often it goes the other way, discounting someone who might actually have been the most delicious fit and never knowing you missed the opportunity... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Anyone done this or experienced this? Keeping someone going in the back ground that you probably have no intention of getting together with but you know they are keen on you - keep the lines of communication going every now n then with a wee text or message and dont want to see them meeting anyone else? "
Waste of both parties time. I don’t see the point in that at all |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Anyone done this or experienced this? Keeping someone going in the back ground that you probably have no intention of getting together with but you know they are keen on you - keep the lines of communication going every now n then with a wee text or message and dont want to see them meeting anyone else? "
We think this has been done to us in the past a couple of times now. If we can’t arrange a meet with someone within two months we look elsewhere now until everything lines up with each other again. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It’s a horrible thing to do to someone, honesty is best policy but seems a lot of folks on here don’t think same.
For some I think this is fantasy land where they live a parallel life to their own and they think never the Twain shall meet. Sadly it doesn’t always work like that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Had this happen wouldn’t do to someone personally but had chats and planned meet with someone who till even the day said they wanted to meet then we just New it wasn’t happening as got very dry and didn’t get in touch that day unless I messaged them was bit shit really as did want it to happen but felt was excuse after excuse so I just said move on no hard feelings just wish folk were honest and guess what they never been bk in touch  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Been on the receiving end of this. Worst is I've known it and still responded like a little puppy when they've spoken to me again. So I'm more annoyed with myself than the other person."
I get like that too |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Anyone done this or experienced this? Keeping someone going in the back ground that you probably have no intention of getting together with but you know they are keen on you - keep the lines of communication going every now n then with a wee text or message and dont want to see them meeting anyone else? "
Would never dream of doing that! That's a terrible way to treat anyone |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Anyone done this or experienced this? Keeping someone going in the back ground that you probably have no intention of getting together with but you know they are keen on you - keep the lines of communication going every now n then with a wee text or message and dont want to see them meeting anyone else?
Would never dream of doing that! That's a terrible way to treat anyone"
I totally agree
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Anyone done this or experienced this? Keeping someone going in the back ground that you probably have no intention of getting together with but you know they are keen on you - keep the lines of communication going every now n then with a wee text or message and dont want to see them meeting anyone else?
Suspected this to be the case a few times.. But now I can suss them out pretty quickly. "
Think i may have one just now. Gonna play slong and see what happens lol
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don't mind this. There's little investment or expectation, and if you eventually meet at a social, you might actually hit it off, sexually or as friends."
I suspect there's a lot more guys blissfully content with being on the back burner than there are women.
By that I mean with six guys for every woman, that's a lot of guys turned down to a low heat  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
There's one girl that definitely does this to me. I remain polite to her but don't let her waste my time. She does it to others I know as well.
I think it is an attention thing - wanting to be wanted.
I also feel I am often someone's Plan B
- not getting any definite commitment to a meet either way until the last minute which is shit. It's like "you're ok but I think I can do better" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Yeah I think I've had this and also think I've did it albeit unintentionally. Years ago fell for someone big time then through various factors we never spoke for a while. Odd texts here and there . This went on for a while then a year or two of silence then they'd pop up again . Both guilty of it I guess . we'd very occasionally meet up and there was always a chemistry there but then would be back to the odd texts. Horrible feeling really . Never knowing where you stand . Now though we just dont talk at all numbers deleted and blocked on here . Sometimes you just need to cut your loses and admit if it was going to happen it would have by now |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Yeah I think I've had this and also think I've did it albeit unintentionally. Years ago fell for someone big time then through various factors we never spoke for a while. Odd texts here and there . This went on for a while then a year or two of silence then they'd pop up again . Both guilty of it I guess . we'd very occasionally meet up and there was always a chemistry there but then would be back to the odd texts. Horrible feeling really . Never knowing where you stand . Now though we just dont talk at all numbers deleted and blocked on here . Sometimes you just need to cut your loses and admit if it was going to happen it would have by now "
This happens a lot but its the radio silence when uve met and gotten on really well that I dont understand.
If someone decides they no longer want to meet with someone then at least tell them instead of them wondering what they have done wrong . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Yeah I think I've had this and also think I've did it albeit unintentionally. Years ago fell for someone big time then through various factors we never spoke for a while. Odd texts here and there . This went on for a while then a year or two of silence then they'd pop up again . Both guilty of it I guess . we'd very occasionally meet up and there was always a chemistry there but then would be back to the odd texts. Horrible feeling really . Never knowing where you stand . Now though we just dont talk at all numbers deleted and blocked on here . Sometimes you just need to cut your loses and admit if it was going to happen it would have by now This happens a lot but its the radio silence when uve met and gotten on really well that I dont understand.
If someone decides they no longer want to meet with someone then at least tell them instead of them wondering what they have done wrong ."
Yeah your bang on ! Can be very frustrating if you allow it to annoy you . At first was totally devastated but love can do that . It is the wondering why that gets you . P.s - can remember you from previous profiles. Glad your still around  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Yeah I think I've had this and also think I've did it albeit unintentionally. Years ago fell for someone big time then through various factors we never spoke for a while. Odd texts here and there . This went on for a while then a year or two of silence then they'd pop up again . Both guilty of it I guess . we'd very occasionally meet up and there was always a chemistry there but then would be back to the odd texts. Horrible feeling really . Never knowing where you stand . Now though we just dont talk at all numbers deleted and blocked on here . Sometimes you just need to cut your loses and admit if it was going to happen it would have by now This happens a lot but its the radio silence when uve met and gotten on really well that I dont understand.
If someone decides they no longer want to meet with someone then at least tell them instead of them wondering what they have done wrong .
Yeah your bang on ! Can be very frustrating if you allow it to annoy you . At first was totally devastated but love can do that . It is the wondering why that gets you . P.s - can remember you from previous profiles. Glad your still around "
Hi & thank you Xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Yeah I think I've had this and also think I've did it albeit unintentionally. Years ago fell for someone big time then through various factors we never spoke for a while. Odd texts here and there . This went on for a while then a year or two of silence then they'd pop up again . Both guilty of it I guess . we'd very occasionally meet up and there was always a chemistry there but then would be back to the odd texts. Horrible feeling really . Never knowing where you stand . Now though we just dont talk at all numbers deleted and blocked on here . Sometimes you just need to cut your loses and admit if it was going to happen it would have by now This happens a lot but its the radio silence when uve met and gotten on really well that I dont understand.
If someone decides they no longer want to meet with someone then at least tell them instead of them wondering what they have done wrong ."
Yeah the ghosting is a nightmare. Just be nice to know if you have said or done something they didnt like or just if they have decided you are not for them.
Does give your self confidence a wee hit but its their loss.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *1ck1Man
over a year ago
dundee |
"Get this all the time, think most guys do tbf
Us women get it too "
Not very fair on anyone having them hanging ive met some really nice folk on here, and believed it may go further going by spomen word but alas left hanging high n dry lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Anyone done this or experienced this? Keeping someone going in the back ground that you probably have no intention of getting together with but you know they are keen on you - keep the lines of communication going every now n then with a wee text or message and dont want to see them meeting anyone else?
No because I’m not a cunt and have respect for other people."
Awesome reply. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ubbly2012Woman
over a year ago
inver somewhere |
I have loads of people I chat to...and both of us know I'm never going to meet/fuck them
Honesty is best policy ..
Although... found out that the term for keeping back up plan options.... is called..
Mermaiding
Love it!!!!
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have loads of people I chat to...and both of us know I'm never going to meet/fuck them
Honesty is best policy ..
Although... found out that the term for keeping back up plan options.... is called..
Mermaiding
Love it!!!!
"
I've always wanted to be a mermaid |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Anyone done this or experienced this? Keeping someone going in the back ground that you probably have no intention of getting together with but you know they are keen on you - keep the lines of communication going every now n then with a wee text or message and dont want to see them meeting anyone else? "
If OP is doing this then she should should refer to her other Forum post called Thanks But No Thanks...
This may be a 'sellers market' sex site, but we're dealing with human emotions here. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
IMHO I think alot and I mean alot of women on here who get the chance to meet a guy on here would not have the opportunity out with this site.
So having someone on the back burner is quite a Dick Thing to do.
The ratio of women to men on this site the percentage of women is higher.
Having someone on the back burner is basically stringing someone along. Not very nice imho. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"IMHO I think alot and I mean alot of women on here who get the chance to meet a guy on here would not have the opportunity out with this site.
So having someone on the back burner is quite a Dick Thing to do.
The ratio of women to men on this site the percentage of women is higher.
Having someone on the back burner is basically stringing someone along. Not very nice imho. "
More fool the guy who is prepared to sit on the back burner....smacks of desperation. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"IMHO I think alot and I mean alot of women on here who get the chance to meet a guy on here would not have the opportunity out with this site.
So having someone on the back burner is quite a Dick Thing to do.
The ratio of women to men on this site the percentage of women is higher.
Having someone on the back burner is basically stringing someone along. Not very nice imho.
More fool the guy who is prepared to sit on the back burner....smacks of desperation."
If I sent a message to the women and she got back to me then never spoke to me for weeks and all of a sudden sent me a message of politely tell her to do one |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I have loads of people I chat to...and both of us know I'm never going to meet/fuck them
Honesty is best policy ..
Although... found out that the term for keeping back up plan options.... is called..
Mermaiding
Love it!!!!
"
Every day really is a school day especially on here |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"IMHO I think alot and I mean alot of women on here who get the chance to meet a guy on here would not have the opportunity out with this site.
So having someone on the back burner is quite a Dick Thing to do.
The ratio of women to men on this site the percentage of women is higher.
Having someone on the back burner is basically stringing someone along. Not very nice imho.
More fool the guy who is prepared to sit on the back burner....smacks of desperation."
Or woman |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"IMHO I think alot and I mean alot of women on here who get the chance to meet a guy on here would not have the opportunity out with this site.
So having someone on the back burner is quite a Dick Thing to do.
The ratio of women to men on this site the percentage of women is higher.
Having someone on the back burner is basically stringing someone along. Not very nice imho.
More fool the guy who is prepared to sit on the back burner....smacks of desperation.
Or woman "
I presumed you were talking about guys seeing as you were the OP and you're straight. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"IMHO I think alot and I mean alot of women on here who get the chance to meet a guy on here would not have the opportunity out with this site.
So having someone on the back burner is quite a Dick Thing to do.
The ratio of women to men on this site the percentage of women is higher.
Having someone on the back burner is basically stringing someone along. Not very nice imho.
More fool the guy who is prepared to sit on the back burner....smacks of desperation.
Or woman
I presumed you were talking about guys seeing as you were the OP and you're straight."
Oh i think both sexes may be guilty of it but may be more a guy thing to do |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
