FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > It's really NOT a numbers game
It's really NOT a numbers game
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Why does this keep getting repeated as truth?
The SAME person could increase their chances of a reply or meeting a million fold by putting more effort into their profile and pics.
It's not a lottery. Jeez. Rant over. |
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"Agree with this.
Albert Einstein is famously quoted as saying the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
Yet every day, in threads where people are asking for help, they falsely get told its a numbers game. Grinds my gears.  |
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"Why does this keep getting repeated as truth?
The SAME person could increase their chances of a reply or meeting a million fold by putting more effort into their profile and pics.
It's not a lottery. Jeez. Rant over. "
I am not sure how you can say it isn't?
I figure from a straight male perspective about 75 percent of the people on site are Male or a male half of a couple.
That leaves 30 % who are female or identify in some way as one
Now take away the
Unicorns
Bi or lesbian
Women who will only play with partners in group sex
That leaves a very small percentage of available women a man can try to contact
Finally subtract all the women who are fake profiles, blokes pretending to be women, tarts, junkies etc
And you are left with a tiny number of people.. Not all of them paying subscribers either which makes comms difficult
I suggest it is absolutely a numbers game.. The best chance anyone has is to hope their meet on POF might be kinky enough or naughty enough to want to swing
In which case you join fab as a couple and the odds of you getting a meet increase a bit more..
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why does this keep getting repeated as truth?
The SAME person could increase their chances of a reply or meeting a million fold by putting more effort into their profile and pics.
It's not a lottery. Jeez. Rant over.
I am not sure how you can say it isn't?
I figure from a straight male perspective about 75 percent of the people on site are Male or a male half of a couple.
That leaves 30 % who are female or identify in some way as one
Now take away the
Unicorns
Bi or lesbian
Women who will only play with partners in group sex
That leaves a very small percentage of available women a man can try to contact
Finally subtract all the women who are fake profiles, blokes pretending to be women, tarts, junkies etc
And you are left with a tiny number of people.. Not all of them paying subscribers either which makes comms difficult
I suggest it is absolutely a numbers game.. The best chance anyone has is to hope their meet on POF might be kinky enough or naughty enough to want to swing
In which case you join fab as a couple and the odds of you getting a meet increase a bit more..
"
If only I had known this before  Damn I have better message another 300 women before carrying on the conversations I have now just so I’ve got my luck quota in  |
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By *inkycatWoman
over a year ago
High Wycombe |
"Why does this keep getting repeated as truth?
The SAME person could increase their chances of a reply or meeting a million fold by putting more effort into their profile and pics.
It's not a lottery. Jeez. Rant over.
I am not sure how you can say it isn't?
I figure from a straight male perspective about 75 percent of the people on site are Male or a male half of a couple.
That leaves 30 % who are female or identify in some way as one
Now take away the
Unicorns
Bi or lesbian
Women who will only play with partners in group sex
That leaves a very small percentage of available women a man can try to contact
Finally subtract all the women who are fake profiles, blokes pretending to be women, tarts, junkies etc
And you are left with a tiny number of people.. Not all of them paying subscribers either which makes comms difficult
I suggest it is absolutely a numbers game.. The best chance anyone has is to hope their meet on POF might be kinky enough or naughty enough to want to swing
In which case you join fab as a couple and the odds of you getting a meet increase a bit more..
"
You are so wrong. I’m a truly single woman. Verified. Play bi and straight. Had a message today from a single guy who is much younger than me. He has no pics other than one cock pic and very few profile words (I won’t quote so as he can’t be identified). I replied politely and said I was very sorry but there was nothing on his profile to give me an idea of what he was looking for and wishing him luck. He replied to say “well ask me anything I don’t know what my profile should say”.
In the nicest possible way I don’t have the time or inclination to do all the spade work... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
6yrs or so on here...
Finally met a man off here.. 3m on early days, respectful never been abusive or nasty ..
So a good meet is definitely worth waiting for |
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"Why does this keep getting repeated as truth?
The SAME person could increase their chances of a reply or meeting a million fold by putting more effort into their profile and pics.
It's not a lottery. Jeez. Rant over.
I am not sure how you can say it isn't?
I figure from a straight male perspective about 75 percent of the people on site are Male or a male half of a couple.
That leaves 30 % who are female or identify in some way as one
Now take away the
Unicorns
Bi or lesbian
Women who will only play with partners in group sex
That leaves a very small percentage of available women a man can try to contact
Finally subtract all the women who are fake profiles, blokes pretending to be women, tarts, junkies etc
And you are left with a tiny number of people.. Not all of them paying subscribers either which makes comms difficult
I suggest it is absolutely a numbers game.. The best chance anyone has is to hope their meet on POF might be kinky enough or naughty enough to want to swing
In which case you join fab as a couple and the odds of you getting a meet increase a bit more..
"
If you want to talk numbers in that sense, I’d wager there are more genuine ladies profiles looking for guys than there are “good” male profiles.
“Good” as in made an effort profiles. Not “good” as in Brad Pitt’s better looking cousin. |
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"Why does this keep getting repeated as truth?
The SAME person could increase their chances of a reply or meeting a million fold by putting more effort into their profile and pics.
It's not a lottery. Jeez. Rant over.
I am not sure how you can say it isn't?
I figure from a straight male perspective about 75 percent of the people on site are Male or a male half of a couple.
That leaves 30 % who are female or identify in some way as one
Now take away the
Unicorns
Bi or lesbian
Women who will only play with partners in group sex
That leaves a very small percentage of available women a man can try to contact
Finally subtract all the women who are fake profiles, blokes pretending to be women, tarts, junkies etc
And you are left with a tiny number of people.. Not all of them paying subscribers either which makes comms difficult
I suggest it is absolutely a numbers game.. The best chance anyone has is to hope their meet on POF might be kinky enough or naughty enough to want to swing
In which case you join fab as a couple and the odds of you getting a meet increase a bit more..
If only I had known this before Damn I have better message another 300 women before carrying on the conversations I have now just so I’ve got my luck quota in "
Not sure what your point is? Feel free to elaborate. |
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"These sorts of threads are repeated constantly ...."
No, they aren’t.
Threads where someone has moaned and has been falsely told it’s a numbers game, those threads pop up multiple times every day. |
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"Why does this keep getting repeated as truth?
The SAME person could increase their chances of a reply or meeting a million fold by putting more effort into their profile and pics.
It's not a lottery. Jeez. Rant over.
I am not sure how you can say it isn't?
I figure from a straight male perspective about 75 percent of the people on site are Male or a male half of a couple.
That leaves 30 % who are female or identify in some way as one
Now take away the
Unicorns
Bi or lesbian
Women who will only play with partners in group sex
That leaves a very small percentage of available women a man can try to contact
Finally subtract all the women who are fake profiles, blokes pretending to be women, tarts, junkies etc
And you are left with a tiny number of people.. Not all of them paying subscribers either which makes comms difficult
I suggest it is absolutely a numbers game.. The best chance anyone has is to hope their meet on POF might be kinky enough or naughty enough to want to swing
In which case you join fab as a couple and the odds of you getting a meet increase a bit more..
So.. obvs your numbers don't add up...so I call bs
"
|
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"Why does this keep getting repeated as truth?
The SAME person could increase their chances of a reply or meeting a million fold by putting more effort into their profile and pics.
It's not a lottery. Jeez. Rant over.
I am not sure how you can say it isn't?
I figure from a straight male perspective about 75 percent of the people on site are Male or a male half of a couple.
That leaves 30 % who are female or identify in some way as one
Now take away the
Unicorns
Bi or lesbian
Women who will only play with partners in group sex
That leaves a very small percentage of available women a man can try to contact
Finally subtract all the women who are fake profiles, blokes pretending to be women, tarts, junkies etc
And you are left with a tiny number of people.. Not all of them paying subscribers either which makes comms difficult
I suggest it is absolutely a numbers game.. The best chance anyone has is to hope their meet on POF might be kinky enough or naughty enough to want to swing
In which case you join fab as a couple and the odds of you getting a meet increase a bit more..
You are so wrong. I’m a truly single woman. Verified. Play bi and straight. Had a message today from a single guy who is much younger than me. He has no pics other than one cock pic and very few profile words (I won’t quote so as he can’t be identified). I replied politely and said I was very sorry but there was nothing on his profile to give me an idea of what he was looking for and wishing him luck. He replied to say “well ask me anything I don’t know what my profile should say”.
In the nicest possible way I don’t have the time or inclination to do all the spade work... "
Here here !!! |
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"Why does this keep getting repeated as truth?
The SAME person could increase their chances of a reply or meeting a million fold by putting more effort into their profile and pics.
It's not a lottery. Jeez. Rant over.
I am not sure how you can say it isn't?
I figure from a straight male perspective about 75 percent of the people on site are Male or a male half of a couple.
That leaves 30 % who are female or identify in some way as one
Now take away the
Unicorns
Bi or lesbian
Women who will only play with partners in group sex
That leaves a very small percentage of available women a man can try to contact
Finally subtract all the women who are fake profiles, blokes pretending to be women, tarts, junkies etc
And you are left with a tiny number of people.. Not all of them paying subscribers either which makes comms difficult
I suggest it is absolutely a numbers game.. The best chance anyone has is to hope their meet on POF might be kinky enough or naughty enough to want to swing
In which case you join fab as a couple and the odds of you getting a meet increase a bit more..
So.. obvs your numbers don't add up...so I call bs
"
Not without explaining why? Or showing your own math skills off you can't! |
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"Why does this keep getting repeated as truth?
The SAME person could increase their chances of a reply or meeting a million fold by putting more effort into their profile and pics.
It's not a lottery. Jeez. Rant over.
I am not sure how you can say it isn't?
I figure from a straight male perspective about 75 percent of the people on site are Male or a male half of a couple.
That leaves 30 % who are female or identify in some way as one
Now take away the
Unicorns
Bi or lesbian
Women who will only play with partners in group sex
That leaves a very small percentage of available women a man can try to contact
Finally subtract all the women who are fake profiles, blokes pretending to be women, tarts, junkies etc
And you are left with a tiny number of people.. Not all of them paying subscribers either which makes comms difficult
I suggest it is absolutely a numbers game.. The best chance anyone has is to hope their meet on POF might be kinky enough or naughty enough to want to swing
In which case you join fab as a couple and the odds of you getting a meet increase a bit more..
You are so wrong. I’m a truly single woman. Verified. Play bi and straight. Had a message today from a single guy who is much younger than me. He has no pics other than one cock pic and very few profile words (I won’t quote so as he can’t be identified). I replied politely and said I was very sorry but there was nothing on his profile to give me an idea of what he was looking for and wishing him luck. He replied to say “well ask me anything I don’t know what my profile should say”.
In the nicest possible way I don’t have the time or inclination to do all the spade work...
Here here !!!"
And THATS why threads like this keep cropping up.. Guys send short messages or cut and pastes because they can't be bothered with all the spade work either:/
|
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"Why does this keep getting repeated as truth?
The SAME person could increase their chances of a reply or meeting a million fold by putting more effort into their profile and pics.
It's not a lottery. Jeez. Rant over.
I am not sure how you can say it isn't?
I figure from a straight male perspective about 75 percent of the people on site are Male or a male half of a couple.
That leaves 30 % who are female or identify in some way as one
Now take away the
Unicorns
Bi or lesbian
Women who will only play with partners in group sex
That leaves a very small percentage of available women a man can try to contact
Finally subtract all the women who are fake profiles, blokes pretending to be women, tarts, junkies etc
And you are left with a tiny number of people.. Not all of them paying subscribers either which makes comms difficult
I suggest it is absolutely a numbers game.. The best chance anyone has is to hope their meet on POF might be kinky enough or naughty enough to want to swing
In which case you join fab as a couple and the odds of you getting a meet increase a bit more..
You are so wrong. I’m a truly single woman. Verified. Play bi and straight. Had a message today from a single guy who is much younger than me. He has no pics other than one cock pic and very few profile words (I won’t quote so as he can’t be identified). I replied politely and said I was very sorry but there was nothing on his profile to give me an idea of what he was looking for and wishing him luck. He replied to say “well ask me anything I don’t know what my profile should say”.
In the nicest possible way I don’t have the time or inclination to do all the spade work...
Here here !!!
And THATS why threads like this keep cropping up.. Guys send short messages or cut and pastes because they can't be bothered with all the spade work either:/
"
No idea what they’re moaning about then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Ive said this before. I was on here as a single guy for a short while. It was a numbers game but only in the sense that I looked at lots and lots of profiles, picked the exact ones I wanted to message and sent laser focussed messages. I also made sure my profile was well written without being crude.
The honest truth is my 'success rate' was in excess of 50%.
So yeah, like everything in life it's a numbers game but only an idiot won't do everything in their power not to stack them in their favour.
Oh, and I'm a shortarse Irishman with nothing much to make me stand out from the crowd other than I work smarter and harder. |
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"Why does this keep getting repeated as truth?
The SAME person could increase their chances of a reply or meeting a million fold by putting more effort into their profile and pics.
It's not a lottery. Jeez. Rant over.
I am not sure how you can say it isn't?
I figure from a straight male perspective about 75 percent of the people on site are Male or a male half of a couple.
That leaves 30 % who are female or identify in some way as one
Now take away the
Unicorns
Bi or lesbian
Women who will only play with partners in group sex
That leaves a very small percentage of available women a man can try to contact
Finally subtract all the women who are fake profiles, blokes pretending to be women, tarts, junkies etc
And you are left with a tiny number of people.. Not all of them paying subscribers either which makes comms difficult
I suggest it is absolutely a numbers game.. The best chance anyone has is to hope their meet on POF might be kinky enough or naughty enough to want to swing
In which case you join fab as a couple and the odds of you getting a meet increase a bit more..
So.. obvs your numbers don't add up...so I call bs
Not without explaining why? Or showing your own math skills off you can't! "
75% and 30% don’t add up. |
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"Can someone explain what “numbers game” is even supposed to mean in the context of Fab? I’ve seen it said a lot, but I have no idea what they mean by it."
Message EVERYONE and eventually some poor sod will be so bored they'll actually reply. |
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"Can someone explain what “numbers game” is even supposed to mean in the context of Fab? I’ve seen it said a lot, but I have no idea what they mean by it.
Message EVERYONE and eventually some poor sod will be so bored they'll actually reply. "
Really? So basically the online version of the “car door” method then? (Try enough and eventually one will open.) Nice to see misogyny alive and well. |
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"Can someone explain what “numbers game” is even supposed to mean in the context of Fab? I’ve seen it said a lot, but I have no idea what they mean by it.
Message EVERYONE and eventually some poor sod will be so bored they'll actually reply.
Really? So basically the online version of the “car door” method then? (Try enough and eventually one will open.) Nice to see misogyny alive and well."
Therefore it's more efficient to message "want sum" than take more than 6 seconds to write something worthwhile... |
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"Can someone explain what “numbers game” is even supposed to mean in the context of Fab? I’ve seen it said a lot, but I have no idea what they mean by it."
It is said a lot, as a way of saying there are a million times more men than women on the site therefore men should lower their expectations of a reply.
I say that’s rubbish. Good male profiles stand out. If a guy is not having success on this site, it’s not because of the number of other men. |
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
"Why does this keep getting repeated as truth?
The SAME person could increase their chances of a reply or meeting a million fold by putting more effort into their profile and pics.
It's not a lottery. Jeez. Rant over.
I am not sure how you can say it isn't?
I figure from a straight male perspective about 75 percent of the people on site are Male or a male half of a couple.
That leaves 30 % who are female or identify in some way as one
Now take away the
Unicorns
Bi or lesbian
Women who will only play with partners in group sex
That leaves a very small percentage of available women a man can try to contact
Finally subtract all the women who are fake profiles, blokes pretending to be women, tarts, junkies etc
And you are left with a tiny number of people.. Not all of them paying subscribers either which makes comms difficult
I suggest it is absolutely a numbers game.. The best chance anyone has is to hope their meet on POF might be kinky enough or naughty enough to want to swing
In which case you join fab as a couple and the odds of you getting a meet increase a bit more..
You are so wrong. I’m a truly single woman. Verified. Play bi and straight. Had a message today from a single guy who is much younger than me. He has no pics other than one cock pic and very few profile words (I won’t quote so as he can’t be identified). I replied politely and said I was very sorry but there was nothing on his profile to give me an idea of what he was looking for and wishing him luck. He replied to say “well ask me anything I don’t know what my profile should say”.
In the nicest possible way I don’t have the time or inclination to do all the spade work... "
Wholly agree with you. A lot of new Males on here often have the view, it's a quick result site.
They just plough online and do little to "sell themselves" which is what they MUST DO, to make their profiles stand out above their peers.
The site provides enough links to information on how to succeed. The Forum Pages also have a wealth of advice posts on the same subject, but I'd bet that few new Males even bother to view these snippets of information.
It's been seen too on some occasions when superb advice has been proffered to a whingeing male, they don't take it; they "know best!" so really what can one do to point them in the right direction? |
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"Can someone explain what “numbers game” is even supposed to mean in the context of Fab? I’ve seen it said a lot, but I have no idea what they mean by it.
Message EVERYONE and eventually some poor sod will be so bored they'll actually reply.
Really? So basically the online version of the “car door” method then? (Try enough and eventually one will open.) Nice to see misogyny alive and well.
Therefore it's more efficient to message "want sum" than take more than 6 seconds to write something worthwhile... "
I mean, sometimes I do reply, but it isn’t out of boredom. It’s more like exasperation (like “I’m having a bad day and you messaged me three times in 20 minutes”) and then I reply to tell them off, but block them. Is that the numbers they mean? |
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"Can someone explain what “numbers game” is even supposed to mean in the context of Fab? I’ve seen it said a lot, but I have no idea what they mean by it.
It is said a lot, as a way of saying there are a million times more men than women on the site therefore men should lower their expectations of a reply.
I say that’s rubbish. Good male profiles stand out. If a guy is not having success on this site, it’s not because of the number of other men. "
Oh, so a bit like the cry of “all those bad men ruining for us decent ones”? |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"Can someone explain what “numbers game” is even supposed to mean in the context of Fab? I’ve seen it said a lot, but I have no idea what they mean by it.
It is said a lot, as a way of saying there are a million times more men than women on the site therefore men should lower their expectations of a reply.
I say that’s rubbish. Good male profiles stand out. If a guy is not having success on this site, it’s not because of the number of other men. "
I agree with this in general  |
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"Why does this keep getting repeated as truth?
The SAME person could increase their chances of a reply or meeting a million fold by putting more effort into their profile and pics.
It's not a lottery. Jeez. Rant over.
I am not sure how you can say it isn't?
I figure from a straight male perspective about 75 percent of the people on site are Male or a male half of a couple.
That leaves 30 % who are female or identify in some way as one
Now take away the
Unicorns
Bi or lesbian
Women who will only play with partners in group sex
That leaves a very small percentage of available women a man can try to contact
Finally subtract all the women who are fake profiles, blokes pretending to be women, tarts, junkies etc
And you are left with a tiny number of people.. Not all of them paying subscribers either which makes comms difficult
I suggest it is absolutely a numbers game.. The best chance anyone has is to hope their meet on POF might be kinky enough or naughty enough to want to swing
In which case you join fab as a couple and the odds of you getting a meet increase a bit more..
So.. obvs your numbers don't add up...so I call bs
Not without explaining why? Or showing your own math skills off you can't!
75% and 30% don’t add up."
Haha.. Right so you are! Lol that's quite funny . The figures are only random anyway just get an idea and balance quantities more than anything else.. You can reduce the 30 to 25 then which is probably a bit more realistic anyway  |
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"Can someone explain what “numbers game” is even supposed to mean in the context of Fab? I’ve seen it said a lot, but I have no idea what they mean by it.
I would say its more efficient to direct someone to your profile with a short to the point invitation.. That does rely on them reading it though for the system to work..
Message EVERYONE and eventually some poor sod will be so bored they'll actually reply.
Really? So basically the online version of the “car door” method then? (Try enough and eventually one will open.) Nice to see misogyny alive and well.
Therefore it's more efficient to message "want sum" than take more than 6 seconds to write something worthwhile... "
|
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
Yes it is a numbers game on the forums.
In meetings it’s more of an attraction game.
You can normally see in their eyes if they want to play.
So, cyber, Seduction doesn’t work unless you are visually oriented, or sapiosexual. |
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By *jonesMan
over a year ago
Totnes |
"These sorts of threads are repeated constantly ....
No, they aren’t.
Threads where someone has moaned and has been falsely told it’s a numbers game, those threads pop up multiple times every day."
That's true .. |
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It's both, really. A numbers game AND skill/'talent'. And you need to be OK with that and not be projecting dissatisfaction the whole time or you'll get nowhere. I've been on here about three years now and of course the pandemic has made everything tough for ages anyway but prior to that was a rollercoaster. I had my first social meet a couple of hundred miles away from where I live in my first week of joining, which was amazing, but then also when I went another six months without receiving a reply from anyone in my home area, then had another spontaneous meet when I was staying in London that renewed my faith again... then another many months with no local interest. So clearly it is somewhat a numbers game because you need to be somewhere where there are enough likeminded people seeking to connect that are in the core demographic that appeals to you.
During the pandemic I bought a webcam for my PC for work and so thought I'd give the chat rooms a go. I find it much easier to connect with people on there. Subsequently made plenty of friends from near and far, intent to meet, lasting rapport etc etc. But you do need to be prepared to show your face from time to time otherwise it's no different from the rest of the site.
Since making a few connections that way, the site seems a lot friendlier and less stressful and bad for the self esteem. Nobody likes shouting into the wind.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why does this keep getting repeated as truth?
The SAME person could increase their chances of a reply or meeting a million fold by putting more effort into their profile and pics.
It's not a lottery. Jeez. Rant over.
I am not sure how you can say it isn't?
I figure from a straight male perspective about 75 percent of the people on site are Male or a male half of a couple.
That leaves 30 % who are female or identify in some way as one
Now take away the
Unicorns
Bi or lesbian
Women who will only play with partners in group sex
That leaves a very small percentage of available women a man can try to contact
Finally subtract all the women who are fake profiles, blokes pretending to be women, tarts, junkies etc
And you are left with a tiny number of people.. Not all of them paying subscribers either which makes comms difficult
I suggest it is absolutely a numbers game.. The best chance anyone has is to hope their meet on POF might be kinky enough or naughty enough to want to swing
In which case you join fab as a couple and the odds of you getting a meet increase a bit more..
"
You forget or perhaps are unaware a large chunk of women’s profile seem to belong to Dave, age 14 from Wigan too x |
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"Agree with this.
Albert Einstein is famously quoted as saying the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
So true, so true. Too many 'players' 'would be payers' and 'chancer' here. Makes it hard and not in a good way...  best meets to those who seek xx |
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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago
Newry Down |
"Agree with this.
Albert Einstein is famously quoted as saying the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
This is one of the most famous misattributed quotes; Einstein never actually said this! |
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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago
Newry Down |
Thomas Jefferson famously said (in essence) the harder I work the luckier I get.
It is often attributed to Sam Goldwyn, but it was Jefferson who originally said it.
If you have an attractive pic, a well-scripted profile, don't come across as an idiot, nutter or entitled, and make the effort in a mature fashion, build up a sound reputation at meets AND put in the effort over an extended period, having done the groundwork, then success will occur.
Building a network of like-minded contacts does not occur overnight. |
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"Why does this keep getting repeated as truth?
The SAME person could increase their chances of a reply or meeting a million fold by putting more effort into their profile and pics.
It's not a lottery. Jeez. Rant over. "
The other one is "you haven't been here long enough"
Does anyone really shag someone just because they have been here a long time?
Or not shag someone they otherwise like because they've only been a member a short while? |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
I would say it’s a bit of numbers, bit of hard work and effort and actually a small slice of luck
Over the last year I haven’t put either in because I know that it’s unlikely I will meet anyone due to c19
Now we things starting to open up would consider social meets for sure |
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"Why does this keep getting repeated as truth?
The SAME person could increase their chances of a reply or meeting a million fold by putting more effort into their profile and pics.
It's not a lottery. Jeez. Rant over.
I am not sure how you can say it isn't?
I figure from a straight male perspective about 75 percent of the people on site are Male or a male half of a couple.
That leaves 30 % who are female or identify in some way as one
Now take away the
Unicorns
Bi or lesbian
Women who will only play with partners in group sex
That leaves a very small percentage of available women a man can try to contact
Finally subtract all the women who are fake profiles, blokes pretending to be women, tarts, junkies etc
And you are left with a tiny number of people.. Not all of them paying subscribers either which makes comms difficult
I suggest it is absolutely a numbers game.. The best chance anyone has is to hope their meet on POF might be kinky enough or naughty enough to want to swing
In which case you join fab as a couple and the odds of you getting a meet increase a bit more..
You are so wrong. I’m a truly single woman. Verified. Play bi and straight. Had a message today from a single guy who is much younger than me. He has no pics other than one cock pic and very few profile words (I won’t quote so as he can’t be identified). I replied politely and said I was very sorry but there was nothing on his profile to give me an idea of what he was looking for and wishing him luck. He replied to say “well ask me anything I don’t know what my profile should say”.
In the nicest possible way I don’t have the time or inclination to do all the spade work... "
Thank God I'm not the only one....I get this too all the time!!!!
Drives me nuts. |
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Some people say “It’s a numbers game”, meaning that one has to spam dozens or hundreds of women and couples to get anywhere. This is false, and does nothing but cause problems for everyone.
Some people say “It’s a numbers game”, meaning that the gender balance on here is so gigantically skewed (26 men to every woman, last time I counted local to me) that a single guy is going to need to do, at the very minimum, two things:
1. Stand out.
2. Be lucky.
And there *is* an element of luck. Because, as I keep saying, you can be a glorious Adonis, have the photos of a model, the profile text of Shakespeare… and there’s a good chance your message still won’t get read, because the person you messaged got 600 or more FAF one-liners that day, quite understandably bulk deleted the lot, and never even saw yours at all.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
sorry but it is a numbers game just by the sheer fact that men outrageously out number women/couples its really is that simple .... but of course its not only a numbers game as everything else has to factored in too ...
you cant take the maths out of life
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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
Ahem just gonna cross promote
https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/support/1154144
It is a “numbers” game in that there is an equation...
(A+B+C) x D = E
where:
A is a decent profile
B are some decent pictures
C is evidence you read the other persons profile
D is a good opening email/message evidencing ABC
E is the result and hopefully the beginning of a very enjoyable friendship
Edit - got my equation wrong lol |
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It's up there on the excuse scale with some people ruin it for all the genuine guys and women have all the power on fab.
You can only ruin it for yourself with a lazy attitude or a woe is me approach and women as a collective may well hold the balance of power but only if you are trying to contact them all at once!
Approach as individuals and as equals with no pedestals involved, make an effort in your pics and bio and it makes all the difference without concerning yourself over numbers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Some people say “It’s a numbers game”, meaning that one has to spam dozens or hundreds of women and couples to get anywhere. This is false, and does nothing but cause problems for everyone.
Some people say “It’s a numbers game”, meaning that the gender balance on here is so gigantically skewed (26 men to every woman, last time I counted local to me) that a single guy is going to need to do, at the very minimum, two things:
1. Stand out.
2. Be lucky.
And there *is* an element of luck. Because, as I keep saying, you can be a glorious Adonis, have the photos of a model, the profile text of Shakespeare… and there’s a good chance your message still won’t get read, because the person you messaged got 600 or more FAF one-liners that day, quite understandably bulk deleted the lot, and never even saw yours at all.
"
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"Why does this keep getting repeated as truth?
The SAME person could increase their chances of a reply or meeting a million fold by putting more effort into their profile and pics.
It's not a lottery. Jeez. Rant over. "
Yep, so many know this and don't bother which makes no sense. Not having at least a profile picture is criminal. |
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"Why does this keep getting repeated as truth?
The SAME person could increase their chances of a reply or meeting a million fold by putting more effort into their profile and pics.
It's not a lottery. Jeez. Rant over. "
But by definition it is a numbers game, because the more people you try the higher chance of success you have.
Not to say that putting more effort into other things help as well.
But to say it’s not at all a numbers game implies that if you have the perfect bio and perfect chat, you’d only need to message one person for a guaranteed yes.
We know that’s not true because not everyone is everyone’s cup of tea.
That’s what it means as numbers game. The more shots you take, the better chance you’ve got if one hitting
This is more true for men than it is women/couples |
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By *emartesMan
over a year ago
Brixton/Oval |
I've let my girlfriend use my fab/tinder/OLD so she can experience what it's like from a male perspective.
I'll admit I don't have the best profile or pictures up (more on one of the swipe apps) but I'm youngish and fit from fun activities like rock climbing, interesting career and hobbies, blah blah blah. I can go weeks without a match or message.
By comparison my gf has a single picture uploaded here, that doesn't even show her face or body and she's inundated with messages from the moment she's online. These are mostly low effort but if they're hot enough she doesn't really mind.
The truth about all OLD is that it is overwhelmingly men. 66-75% in their own reports.
Like others have said even the best profile and perfectly crafted message could be missed in a flooded inbox. Being noticed is a numbers game for men. No hard feelings about it. |
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Looking at the stats there definitely is an element of numbers when in relation to competitiveness. To look at a similar world scenario look at China and its romance crisis. With a population where men vastly outnumber women you have a situation were huge parts of the male population don't find love, ever. And its really a national crisis and source of national hurt. Basically in China (on the whole) only the top tear of competitive males find wives. In rural areas young women leave for the city and end up with upwardly mobil sussecful men. Not in all respects but generally poor and low status guys in China tend to be single and have to trade the search for romance for a weekly visit to a brothel. The state is even looking to sanction the marriage of women to more than one bloke on a time share basis to ease the burden. Any also why the government is trying to marry off Uighur women to Han men to try and ease this tension in society (as well as to assist the ethnic cleansing of Uighur people).
Conversely look at Ukraine where women outnumber men. In Ukraine you have women fighting to find men. Which means often many women are not having the pick of the bunch and maybe ending up with someone they would have ended up with if they had more options. And that imbalance was before the war so no doubt even more imbalanced now.
There is an element of buyers market in the real world and fab. I know we all like to think we'd keep a high standard in a rubbish market and go without if needs be. And to a certain extent on a individual level that may be true for many to different extents. And if you go with that it has nothing to do with numbers. But looking at societal trends that doesn't look to be the case in reality. If your the wrong side of demand it makes the world tougher and reduces opportunity. So I get the point about its being the right person saying the right things but there is a element of numbers going on too in terms of the bigger picture. |
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"Looking at the stats there definitely is an element of numbers when in relation to competitiveness. To look at a similar world scenario look at China and its romance crisis. With a population where men vastly outnumber women you have a situation were huge parts of the male population don't find love, ever. And its really a national crisis and source of national hurt. Basically in China (on the whole) only the top tear of competitive males find wives. In rural areas young women leave for the city and end up with upwardly mobil sussecful men. Not in all respects but generally poor and low status guys in China tend to be single and have to trade the search for romance for a weekly visit to a brothel. The state is even looking to sanction the marriage of women to more than one bloke on a time share basis to ease the burden. Any also why the government is trying to marry off Uighur women to Han men to try and ease this tension in society (as well as to assist the ethnic cleansing of Uighur people).
Conversely look at Ukraine where women outnumber men. In Ukraine you have women fighting to find men. Which means often many women are not having the pick of the bunch and maybe ending up with someone they would have ended up with if they had more options. And that imbalance was before the war so no doubt even more imbalanced now.
There is an element of buyers market in the real world and fab. I know we all like to think we'd keep a high standard in a rubbish market and go without if needs be. And to a certain extent on a individual level that may be true for many to different extents. And if you go with that it has nothing to do with numbers. But looking at societal trends that doesn't look to be the case in reality. If your the wrong side of demand it makes the world tougher and reduces opportunity. So I get the point about its being the right person saying the right things but there is a element of numbers going on too in terms of the bigger picture."
That’s a brilliant answer I’m definitely off to Ukraine now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
To be honest I don’t care how much effort is put into their first message. They can write a really detailed message but If I’m not attracted to them then I’m unlikely to reply with the volume of messages I receive.
Id rather they just put hey and a face pic and stop me reading all the waffle. |
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"
Yet every day, in threads where people are asking for help, they falsely get told its a numbers game. Grinds my gears. "
Do you have evidence to prove it's false or is this just an assumption? I'm not saying that to aggravate you, I'm just saying all observable information says otherwise.
In our local 20 mile area, we can easily do 2 searches in the browse section. Limited to just verified accounts we can observe the following (within the sites search limitations):
You're limited to 11 pages at 30 profiles a page (at least on ours).
--------------------------------------------
11 pages of single men looking for women. The first 120 accounts to show have all been active within the last hour. On the 11th page, gentleman 330, the final user to show up shows as active just 3 hours ago (it's 5.30am on a Sunday morning).
It's a very different story with single women though.
11 pages of single women looking for men. Only 3 users total show as active in the last hour. On the 11th page lady 330, the the final user was last active 6 months ago.
By the time we hit the 4th page we are seeing users that have not been active for over 24 hours.
So based on that, we know for our area in excess of 330 single guys local to us have been active within the last 3 hours on fab.
Compared to the total of 100 ladies accounts that have been active just within the last 24 hours alone.
Now you can believe it's not a numbers game all you want but it clearly is in our area.
Even if all of these's guys have the most amazing profiles, write the most amazing messages and look like Greek adonises there's only so many active ladies on fab and those ladies are not just desired by many single male accounts but a vast amount of couples profiles as well.
Ergo it IS a numbers game. Yes, they can increase their chances by putting more effort into their profile and pics but it's still not going to change that statistically speaking, single male accounts swap all other accounts.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Let's face it with the ratio of men to women, the women hold all the cards. You can be as polite and funny as you like still only get you friend zoned if they not attracted to you. I have some great chats on here but I've better luck pulling on a night out. Fabs become an x rated instagram all for likes it seems |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why does this keep getting repeated as truth?
The SAME person could increase their chances of a reply or meeting a million fold by putting more effort into their profile and pics.
It's not a lottery. Jeez. Rant over. "
We feel the same, it's an interesting point.
Technically, everything is a numbers game in as much as any activity is more likely to succeed with frequency or repetition. If you emailed 100 people, with no filter of age, sex attractiveness, you'd get responses. I'd guess, not the responses you want though!
Seeing anyone say 'its a numbers game' shows us they don't get swinging. They're treating this like instashag, and don't have preferences, just want a hook up.
If we email people we like and want to meet, and none of them want to engage us, we'd look at ourselves, not create a reason why they're persecuting us! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Yet every day, in threads where people are asking for help, they falsely get told its a numbers game. Grinds my gears.
Do you have evidence to prove it's false or is this just an assumption? I'm not saying that to aggravate you, I'm just saying all observable information says otherwise.
In our local 20 mile area, we can easily do 2 searches in the browse section. Limited to just verified accounts we can observe the following (within the sites search limitations):
You're limited to 11 pages at 30 profiles a page (at least on ours).
--------------------------------------------
11 pages of single men looking for women. The first 120 accounts to show have all been active within the last hour. On the 11th page, gentleman 330, the final user to show up shows as active just 3 hours ago (it's 5.30am on a Sunday morning).
It's a very different story with single women though.
11 pages of single women looking for men. Only 3 users total show as active in the last hour. On the 11th page lady 330, the the final user was last active 6 months ago.
By the time we hit the 4th page we are seeing users that have not been active for over 24 hours.
So based on that, we know for our area in excess of 330 single guys local to us have been active within the last 3 hours on fab.
Compared to the total of 100 ladies accounts that have been active just within the last 24 hours alone.
Now you can believe it's not a numbers game all you want but it clearly is in our area.
Even if all of these's guys have the most amazing profiles, write the most amazing messages and look like Greek adonises there's only so many active ladies on fab and those ladies are not just desired by many single male accounts but a vast amount of couples profiles as well.
Ergo it IS a numbers game. Yes, they can increase their chances by putting more effort into their profile and pics but it's still not going to change that statistically speaking, single male accounts swap all other accounts.
"
|
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"
Yet every day, in threads where people are asking for help, they falsely get told its a numbers game. Grinds my gears.
Do you have evidence to prove it's false or is this just an assumption? I'm not saying that to aggravate you, I'm just saying all observable information says otherwise.
In our local 20 mile area, we can easily do 2 searches in the browse section. Limited to just verified accounts we can observe the following (within the sites search limitations):
You're limited to 11 pages at 30 profiles a page (at least on ours).
--------------------------------------------
11 pages of single men looking for women. The first 120 accounts to show have all been active within the last hour. On the 11th page, gentleman 330, the final user to show up shows as active just 3 hours ago (it's 5.30am on a Sunday morning).
It's a very different story with single women though.
11 pages of single women looking for men. Only 3 users total show as active in the last hour. On the 11th page lady 330, the the final user was last active 6 months ago.
By the time we hit the 4th page we are seeing users that have not been active for over 24 hours.
So based on that, we know for our area in excess of 330 single guys local to us have been active within the last 3 hours on fab.
Compared to the total of 100 ladies accounts that have been active just within the last 24 hours alone.
Now you can believe it's not a numbers game all you want but it clearly is in our area.
Even if all of these's guys have the most amazing profiles, write the most amazing messages and look like Greek adonises there's only so many active ladies on fab and those ladies are not just desired by many single male accounts but a vast amount of couples profiles as well.
Ergo it IS a numbers game. Yes, they can increase their chances by putting more effort into their profile and pics but it's still not going to change that statistically speaking, single male accounts swap all other accounts.
"
Utterly flawed logic
Your quote: “Even if all of these's guys have the most amazing profiles, write the most amazing messages and look like Greek adonises there's only so many active ladies on fab”
And yet that premise is so obviously inaccurate as to be frankly fatuous. If all those amazing profiles did exist, there’d probably be more women interested in making profiles for a start.
Look at it another way - it’s extremely easy for a guy (any guy) to stand out on fab.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think the challenge here, and it is probably a reflection of the same thing that happens in clubs tbh, is that a fair number of single guys think of this site or of swingers in general as easy casual sex.
The truth is, and i para phrase another user here, swinger sex is kink sex. And the kink world is as varied as it gets. So number game alone is indeed not the key. Sure there is an element, but it is not an exclusive factor.
You have to come into this with no expectations. If you measure fabs success by way of meets gained then you are on the wrong measure. I recall sites like badoo etc… where more adapt for that sort of thing. In fact mates who are after wine dine and 69 get more success on tinder etc…
If you think messaging incessantly and doing friend requests unsolicited helps your number game then you are in for a disappointing time.
All it does is aggravate your already hopeless situation.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I would like someone who believes the gender imbalance is not a factor to address the issue of good messages and profiles never being seen due to volume."
The imbalance definitely has an effect, but only because of the number of male profiles spamming hundreds of messages because they think it's a numbers game! If there were 100 male profiles to every couple or female, but they only messaged people they were genuinely attracted to and could actually connect with, how much of a problem would it be? |
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"I would like someone who believes the gender imbalance is not a factor to address the issue of good messages and profiles never being seen due to volume.
The imbalance definitely has an effect, but only because of the number of male profiles spamming hundreds of messages because they think it's a numbers game! If there were 100 male profiles to every couple or female, but they only messaged people they were genuinely attracted to and could actually connect with, how much of a problem would it be?"
I would be interested to know how many people bother sending messages to people they're not attracted to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Yet every day, in threads where people are asking for help, they falsely get told its a numbers game. Grinds my gears.
Do you have evidence to prove it's false or is this just an assumption? I'm not saying that to aggravate you, I'm just saying all observable information says otherwise.
In our local 20 mile area, we can easily do 2 searches in the browse section. Limited to just verified accounts we can observe the following (within the sites search limitations):
You're limited to 11 pages at 30 profiles a page (at least on ours).
--------------------------------------------
11 pages of single men looking for women. The first 120 accounts to show have all been active within the last hour. On the 11th page, gentleman 330, the final user to show up shows as active just 3 hours ago (it's 5.30am on a Sunday morning).
It's a very different story with single women though.
11 pages of single women looking for men. Only 3 users total show as active in the last hour. On the 11th page lady 330, the the final user was last active 6 months ago.
By the time we hit the 4th page we are seeing users that have not been active for over 24 hours.
So based on that, we know for our area in excess of 330 single guys local to us have been active within the last 3 hours on fab.
Compared to the total of 100 ladies accounts that have been active just within the last 24 hours alone.
Now you can believe it's not a numbers game all you want but it clearly is in our area.
Even if all of these's guys have the most amazing profiles, write the most amazing messages and look like Greek adonises there's only so many active ladies on fab and those ladies are not just desired by many single male accounts but a vast amount of couples profiles as well.
Ergo it IS a numbers game. Yes, they can increase their chances by putting more effort into their profile and pics but it's still not going to change that statistically speaking, single male accounts swap all other accounts.
Utterly flawed logic
Your quote: “Even if all of these's guys have the most amazing profiles, write the most amazing messages and look like Greek adonises there's only so many active ladies on fab”
And yet that premise is so obviously inaccurate as to be frankly fatuous. If all those amazing profiles did exist, there’d probably be more women interested in making profiles for a start.
*** Look at it another way - it’s extremely easy for a guy (any guy) to stand out on fab. ***
"
Fair point! Especially *** |
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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
"I think the challenge here, and it is probably a reflection of the same thing that happens in clubs tbh, is that a fair number of single guys think of this site or of swingers in general as easy casual sex.
The truth is, and i para phrase another user here, swinger sex is kink sex. And the kink world is as varied as it gets. So number game alone is indeed not the key. Sure there is an element, but it is not an exclusive factor.
You have to come into this with no expectations. If you measure fabs success by way of meets gained then you are on the wrong measure. I recall sites like badoo etc… where more adapt for that sort of thing. In fact mates who are after wine dine and 69 get more success on tinder etc…
If you think messaging incessantly and doing friend requests unsolicited helps your number game then you are in for a disappointing time.
All it does is aggravate your already hopeless situation.
"
Totally this
If people want casual sex they will probably get more luck in other places. The clue really is in the name fabSWINGERS!
Swinging is generally “kink sex” where the definition of a “kink” is extremely broad but generally involves anything that you couldn’t easily ask for in the vanilla world on a 1st date or opening chat at the bar!
Obviously this can encompass 1-on-1 sex but arguably the “kink” is advanced clarity on what each person is into.
From observations I think the last few years has seen an influx of (particularly men) treating Fab like those other well known casual hook up sites/apps.
Anyone who genuinely wants to succeed in the swinging world (not just singles) could do a lot worse than looking at profiles of those who are successful and seeing what they are doing.
For the vast majority there will be a range of decent pics, some interesting text about themselves, a profile name that doesn’t sound derogatory, and verifications that are displayed for people to read (most ppl do read them and do want to see who else you meet - you will be judged on who you meet).
That still doesn’t change the sheer volume of the competition men are up against but you need to do all you can give yourself the edge.
Every little helps right?
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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
"Profile “effort” doesn’t make a blind bit of difference imho. Numbers rule, whether that be in years, miles or feet and inches. "
Totally disagree.
However, interested to know if that approach is working for you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I would like someone who believes the gender imbalance is not a factor to address the issue of good messages and profiles never being seen due to volume.
The imbalance definitely has an effect, but only because of the number of male profiles spamming hundreds of messages because they think it's a numbers game! If there were 100 male profiles to every couple or female, but they only messaged people they were genuinely attracted to and could actually connect with, how much of a problem would it be?
I would be interested to know how many people bother sending messages to people they're not attracted to."
Check out the huge volume of posts where profiles have rejected someone and the response is abusive and derogatory. Does it make any sense to the genuine swingers among us? No. |
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"It is a numbers game, I'd love to meet a truly bisexual lady without a partner wanting to join in or tag along or being for his photo gallery but this is so rare and that makes it a numbers game "
Um why therefore does it need to be a bisexual lady?
There are a lot of lesbians out there. |
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"It is a numbers game, I'd love to meet a truly bisexual lady without a partner wanting to join in or tag along or being for his photo gallery but this is so rare and that makes it a numbers game
Um why therefore does it need to be a bisexual lady?
There are a lot of lesbians out there. "
I'm bisexual not gay I like meeting other bisexual ladies for lady fun |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why does this keep getting repeated as truth?
In the nicest possible way I don’t have the time or inclination to do all the spade work...
Here here !!!
And THATS why threads like this keep cropping up.. Guys send short messages or cut and pastes because they can't be bothered with all the spade work either:/
"
You have people using cut and paste messages as they can’t be tailoring unique messages to every single person that meets their interests that come up in their searches just to be instantly disregarded in Tinder like brutality where they are judged in a second on the strength of a photo.
I think too many women on here are also don’t take the time to study profile pictures or even read bios.
Obviously a profile with hardly any text and a few random dick pictures is never going to have much success or judging by the amount of profiles that have cock pics, is it an element that women want to see?
Who know but in all the years of being on fabs, I found that my profile in all it’s various incarnations has never really landed much in the way of meets.
Any single male is more likely to find success at socials and clubs than sending a hundred messages to only ever get a tiny percentage to reply with a polite “no thanks, not my type” message.
|
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"I would like someone who believes the gender imbalance is not a factor to address the issue of good messages and profiles never being seen due to volume.
The imbalance definitely has an effect, but only because of the number of male profiles spamming hundreds of messages because they think it's a numbers game! If there were 100 male profiles to every couple or female, but they only messaged people they were genuinely attracted to and could actually connect with, how much of a problem would it be?
I would be interested to know how many people bother sending messages to people they're not attracted to."
All the ones in my inbox telling me I’m beautiful when my profile doesn’t show my face. Even better, the 100+ who messaged me before I’d even added a photo. Or the ones who message late on a Friday night wanting an immediate hookup. Guys join looking for a hole, spam every woman or couple within 50 miles, and frequently then leave again within a day. |
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"Why does this keep getting repeated as truth?
In the nicest possible way I don’t have the time or inclination to do all the spade work...
Here here !!!
And THATS why threads like this keep cropping up.. Guys send short messages or cut and pastes because they can't be bothered with all the spade work either:/
You have people using cut and paste messages as they can’t be tailoring unique messages to every single person that meets their interests that come up in their searches just to be instantly disregarded in Tinder like brutality where they are judged in a second on the strength of a photo.
I think too many women on here are also don’t take the time to study profile pictures or even read bios.
Obviously a profile with hardly any text and a few random dick pictures is never going to have much success or judging by the amount of profiles that have cock pics, is it an element that women want to see?
Who know but in all the years of being on fabs, I found that my profile in all it’s various incarnations has never really landed much in the way of meets.
Any single male is more likely to find success at socials and clubs than sending a hundred messages to only ever get a tiny percentage to reply with a polite “no thanks, not my type” message.
"
I disagree with your last statement; I’ve enjoyed far more success using Fab to meet likeminded genuine people, than I did visiting clubs. I would never recommend the club scene for single guys. |
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By *ittycenMan
over a year ago
south west |
I think there is an element of the numbers game, in the sense you have to hope that your message is actually read amongst the dozens that women receive.
I have a friend on here who quite often doesn’t read my messages for aaaages, then replies apologising as she hadn’t seen it arrive. She had had to go looking for it. |
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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
"It is a numbers game, I'd love to meet a truly bisexual lady without a partner wanting to join in or tag along or being for his photo gallery but this is so rare and that makes it a numbers game
Um why therefore does it need to be a bisexual lady?
There are a lot of lesbians out there. "
Wonder whether we are all using the same definition for “it is/is not a numbers game”?
When I read this I see it as people spamming hundreds of profiles in the hope that just 1 or 2 might be successful. Basically taking a fairly indiscriminate approach in the desperate hope of getting a shag.
However, some seem to be referring more to the sheer inbalance and volume of single male profiles vs other types.
Both true/right but different things.
In this case is the woman seeking other bi women for 1-on-1 play referring to a lack of numbers of similar women rather than that she spams loads in the hope of scoring?
I suspect she means the former? |
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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
"I think there is an element of the numbers game, in the sense you have to hope that your message is actually read amongst the dozens that women receive.
I have a friend on here who quite often doesn’t read my messages for aaaages, then replies apologising as she hadn’t seen it arrive. She had had to go looking for it."
Yep very true. As a couple we average about 20-30 messages a day (it jumps when loading up a new pic). The admin (done by me the Mr) quickly falls behind. Other couples probably get more. Single girls get a lot more, a LOT MORE.
We have a single girl friend on here who averages 300-400 a day!!!!!
We only contact via Whatsapp now as (like yiu say) our messages in here were getting lost.
It would be a great feature if Fab could find a way to flag messages from “friends” so they stand out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think there is an element of the numbers game, in the sense you have to hope that your message is actually read amongst the dozens that women receive.
I have a friend on here who quite often doesn’t read my messages for aaaages, then replies apologising as she hadn’t seen it arrive. She had had to go looking for it.
Yep very true. As a couple we average about 20-30 messages a day (it jumps when loading up a new pic). The admin (done by me the Mr) quickly falls behind. Other couples probably get more. Single girls get a lot more, a LOT MORE.
We have a single girl friend on here who averages 300-400 a day!!!!!
We only contact via Whatsapp now as (like yiu say) our messages in here were getting lost.
It would be a great feature if Fab could find a way to flag messages from “friends” so they stand out."
Yesterday I got about 50 messages. Says it all really.  |
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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
50 messages! How on Earth could you possibly keep on top of that (unless you have no other life).
Not speaking for you Outsider but a lot of us just do a quick filter.
Stupid message titles, one liners, clearly not read profile = instant delete.
Decent message but not fitting our preferences then we try to at least write back a polite no thanks but even then sometimes it can be too much.
Great message but crap profile - very likely still a delete for us.
Front profile pic - one way to stand out a bit in the mailbox - intriguing enough to make you click on.
This is marketing at the end of the day! |
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"It is a numbers game, I'd love to meet a truly bisexual lady without a partner wanting to join in or tag along or being for his photo gallery but this is so rare and that makes it a numbers game
Um why therefore does it need to be a bisexual lady?
There are a lot of lesbians out there.
Wonder whether we are all using the same definition for “it is/is not a numbers game”?
When I read this I see it as people spamming hundreds of profiles in the hope that just 1 or 2 might be successful. Basically taking a fairly indiscriminate approach in the desperate hope of getting a shag.
However, some seem to be referring more to the sheer inbalance and volume of single male profiles vs other types.
Both true/right but different things.
In this case is the woman seeking other bi women for 1-on-1 play referring to a lack of numbers of similar women rather than that she spams loads in the hope of scoring?
I suspect she means the former?"
Oh definitely haven't done the spammed approach 
Was just meaning that for a single guy looking for a single lady then the numbers are against them when it's 100/1 or a single lady looking for another single lady then again the numbers are against you ... doesn't mean it's impossible just that you are a number against many |
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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
"The number of messages a person gets daily is totally controllable fortunately
Though some just like to receive lots it seems "
Through tightly applied filters?
Problem then is you really might miss the diamond in the rough!
Us couples live in hope too of finding good matches |
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"The number of messages a person gets daily is totally controllable fortunately
Though some just like to receive lots it seems
Through tightly applied filters?
Problem then is you really might miss the diamond in the rough!
Us couples live in hope too of finding good matches "
Isn't mass deleting and blocking without talking the same as missing the diamond though? |
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By *ittycenMan
over a year ago
south west |
"I think there is an element of the numbers game, in the sense you have to hope that your message is actually read amongst the dozens that women receive.
I have a friend on here who quite often doesn’t read my messages for aaaages, then replies apologising as she hadn’t seen it arrive. She had had to go looking for it.
Yep very true. As a couple we average about 20-30 messages a day (it jumps when loading up a new pic). The admin (done by me the Mr) quickly falls behind. Other couples probably get more. Single girls get a lot more, a LOT MORE.
We have a single girl friend on here who averages 300-400 a day!!!!!
We only contact via Whatsapp now as (like yiu say) our messages in here were getting lost.
It would be a great feature if Fab could find a way to flag messages from “friends” so they stand out.
Yesterday I got about 50 messages. Says it all really. "
But you still got 50 messages yesterday when your profile says not meeting, not chatting etc. Unless you have just changed that today!! |
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"I think there is an element of the numbers game, in the sense you have to hope that your message is actually read amongst the dozens that women receive.
I have a friend on here who quite often doesn’t read my messages for aaaages, then replies apologising as she hadn’t seen it arrive. She had had to go looking for it.
Yep very true. As a couple we average about 20-30 messages a day (it jumps when loading up a new pic). The admin (done by me the Mr) quickly falls behind. Other couples probably get more. Single girls get a lot more, a LOT MORE.
We have a single girl friend on here who averages 300-400 a day!!!!!
We only contact via Whatsapp now as (like yiu say) our messages in here were getting lost.
It would be a great feature if Fab could find a way to flag messages from “friends” so they stand out.
Yesterday I got about 50 messages. Says it all really. "
I'm not actively looking for new meets or chats so haven't sent a first contact message in well over a year.
However even though I'm active in the forums and post almost every day and have made some effort with pics and bio I haven't come close to receiving 50 messages in total in the 2 years this profile has been active.
I average a message received every couple of weeks.
That is because of a lot of factors including age, filters and a clear statement of what I'm looking in my bio but that suits me.
It won't suit most though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think there is an element of the numbers game, in the sense you have to hope that your message is actually read amongst the dozens that women receive.
I have a friend on here who quite often doesn’t read my messages for aaaages, then replies apologising as she hadn’t seen it arrive. She had had to go looking for it.
Yep very true. As a couple we average about 20-30 messages a day (it jumps when loading up a new pic). The admin (done by me the Mr) quickly falls behind. Other couples probably get more. Single girls get a lot more, a LOT MORE.
We have a single girl friend on here who averages 300-400 a day!!!!!
We only contact via Whatsapp now as (like yiu say) our messages in here were getting lost.
It would be a great feature if Fab could find a way to flag messages from “friends” so they stand out.
Yesterday I got about 50 messages. Says it all really.
But you still got 50 messages yesterday when your profile says not meeting, not chatting etc. Unless you have just changed that today!!"
No it's been like that for a while. Which is exactly my point.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Think if it as a marathon, rather than a sprint. I’m more interested in profiles that jump out at me and peak my interest, not randomly messaging everyone and expecting some spectacular result, usually won’t happen. Going to take a long time to happen. Most come on here, get bored, realise fab isn’t an easy way to get laid and leave. But for the genuine people, it’s worth hanging in there. |
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
To me at times it does feel like a numbers game as well as a age game.For me I don’t take Fabs to seriously I have set out my profile to look like a CV with 14 bullet points in the hope that a single lady or a couple would consider me suitable for a meet.My pictures are not the best as I am not very photogenic. I find I do better when I attend club , spa and socials. |
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"The number of messages a person gets daily is totally controllable fortunately
Though some just like to receive lots it seems
Through tightly applied filters?
Problem then is you really might miss the diamond in the rough!
Us couples live in hope too of finding good matches "
The only filter I have on is age, but my age range is quite narrow so it does cut the messages down a lot. I get very few messages a day now, and I’m fine with that. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything by not allowing people outside my range to contact me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I think too many women on here are also don’t take the time to study profile pictures or even read bios.
Why do you think that?"
They most likely have an inbox that is bursting at the seams.... too many messages to read thoroughly in any detail which in turn might make them miss that one diamond meet.
I’ve yet to master being able to write a message that gets a quick response and I don’t think there’s any formula that works, you just have to keep chipping away and hopefully like the lotto, you might strike lucky with someone who sees the potential in both your profile and photos. |
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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
"The number of messages a person gets daily is totally controllable fortunately
Though some just like to receive lots it seems
Through tightly applied filters?
Problem then is you really might miss the diamond in the rough!
Us couples live in hope too of finding good matches
Isn't mass deleting and blocking without talking the same as missing the diamond though? "
Probably. We only block people with opening emails like...
Wanna fuck u gud!
Do you want best fuck ever
Can I spunk on your face
You gonna gag on my big cock
Great ass I want to ruin you
Etc
Can I ask you a question (which always leads on to something like those above)
Best one ever though was supposedly a professional footballer who asked if Mrs B wanted to be throat fucked until she puked. |
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"
I think too many women on here are also don’t take the time to study profile pictures or even read bios.
Why do you think that?
They most likely have an inbox that is bursting at the seams.... too many messages to read thoroughly in any detail which in turn might make them miss that one diamond meet.
I’ve yet to master being able to write a message that gets a quick response and I don’t think there’s any formula that works, you just have to keep chipping away and hopefully like the lotto, you might strike lucky with someone who sees the potential in both your profile and photos."
You said women don’t read profiles or look at photos, what made you say that? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
You said women don’t read profiles or look at photos, what made you say that?"
I think that a lot of people make quick judgments , if a guy isn’t gym fit or instantaneously attractive then it won’t matter how good their profile or message is, in true Tinder style they are swiped away without any doubt. |
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"
You said women don’t read profiles or look at photos, what made you say that?
I think that a lot of people make quick judgments , if a guy isn’t gym fit or instantaneously attractive then it won’t matter how good their profile or message is, in true Tinder style they are swiped away without any doubt."
But that doesn’t explain why you think women don’t read profiles. Most of us do. Is it because you don’t see women on your “looked at me”? Most of us use stealth mode. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
But that doesn’t explain why you think women don’t read profiles. Most of us do. Is it because you don’t see women on your “looked at me”? Most of us use stealth mode."
I think they just look at pictures and or make quick decisions as to who to meet.
It’s not like they even try to engage via the forums or chat room, it’s just instant attraction and sadly that cuts off a lot of guys. |
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By *jonesMan
over a year ago
Totnes |
"Fabs just like real life if your good looking you will go far if your ugly it’s not a forgiving place
True, but decent words also go a long long way. "
I would say , for me anyway a charming smile and good chat can make an average looking person very attractive...a boring charmless beautiful person would not interest me.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Younger me ok my first single m account had a six pack and a meet in my first week with nothing more than a hello, older rounder me works a lot harder and gets a lot less |
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By *jonesMan
over a year ago
Totnes |
"Younger me ok my first single m account had a six pack and a meet in my first week with nothing more than a hello, older rounder me works a lot harder and gets a lot less "
Your only in your thirties and are slim etc...I'm surprised a 6 pack made much difference... |
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By *issusWoman
over a year ago
Belfast |
"Why does this keep getting repeated as truth?
The SAME person could increase their chances of a reply or meeting a million fold by putting more effort into their profile and pics.
It's not a lottery. Jeez. Rant over.
I am not sure how you can say it isn't?
I figure from a straight male perspective about 75 percent of the people on site are Male or a male half of a couple.
That leaves 30 % who are female or identify in some way as one
Now take away the
Unicorns
Bi or lesbian
Women who will only play with partners in group sex
That leaves a very small percentage of available women a man can try to contact
Finally subtract all the women who are fake profiles, blokes pretending to be women, tarts, junkies etc
And you are left with a tiny number of people.. Not all of them paying subscribers either which makes comms difficult
I suggest it is absolutely a numbers game.. The best chance anyone has is to hope their meet on POF might be kinky enough or naughty enough to want to swing
In which case you join fab as a couple and the odds of you getting a meet increase a bit more..
"
Let's pretend that there's a 100 men to every single woman who is looking for single men:
25 too far away
20 outside preferred age range
30 looks or personality incompatible
10 aren't into the same things
That leaves us with potential 15 men to meet.
5 start to behave creepy once a meet is mentioned and are raising red flags
5 incompatible schedules
That's us left with 5 potential meets
2 turn out to be married
1 lost interest
2 potential meets left. 2 out of a 100!
1 cancels with a days notice
1 doesn't show up at all.
Yeah. Numbers game alright |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Younger me ok my first single m account had a six pack and a meet in my first week with nothing more than a hello, older rounder me works a lot harder and gets a lot less
Your only in your thirties and are slim etc...I'm surprised a 6 pack made much difference..."
You’d be surprised what difference 8 years and bit of fat have made but i still do ok, managed to pick Gemma up as a single and that’s turned out pretty good for both of us but the difference from then to now is considerable, I’m not complaining but on a site like this looks matter a lot more than a message to the vast majority of ladies and I’m sure a few will pop up here to disagree but from experience I’d say I’m right |
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