FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Fakes and dreamers
Fakes and dreamers
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What is your go to thing of spotting fakes on here?
What is it that you use to catch people out.. we have wasted so much time thinking we are chatting to genuine women and couples only to then realise they aren’t who they said they are etc.. we have been really close to calling it a day due to the constant fakes.. We feel asking people to FaceTime to prove they are genuine is going to put some off but other than that or a quick phone call what else can we do?? Verifications go some way but not 100% sure all of these are correct.. Any advice welcome x |
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Fab needs to do more about it to stop fakes joining... facetime or phone call is perfect to see who is real but some are reluctant to do that |
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I can't give you a definitive answer but you just get a feel for it. Men tend to message differently to women and talk about sex and fantasies in a different way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do think if they are genuine and are looking to meet then face time should not be a problem
If they won’t just let them pass because chances are they will never meet either |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I can't give you a definitive answer but you just get a feel for it. Men tend to message differently to women and talk about sex and fantasies in a different way. "
Definitely get this, we are starting to get the feel of this now that if the conversation turns to sex its usually just a man!
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"I can't give you a definitive answer but you just get a feel for it. Men tend to message differently to women and talk about sex and fantasies in a different way. Definitely get this, we are starting to get the feel of this now that if the conversation turns to sex its usually just a man! "
Exactly! 
Also if they're reluctant to meet for a quick coffee |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can't give you a definitive answer but you just get a feel for it. Men tend to message differently to women and talk about sex and fantasies in a different way. "
Exactly this, but I'll say ......
Single guy fantasists tend to message differently to a guy as a couple.
I find they tend to want to ask lots of questions on what we've done previously, where as a couple, whether man or woman messaging, they have less interest in fantasy talk and aim towards moving forward in conversation. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
There is just a feeling you get after a while and reverse image can help while yes some people have the same pics else where on the net but chances are of it's a model from Brazil who's pic shows up it's not the person you are talking to 
Also going full on sex talk is usually a guy not a female or I've found one where they want to treat their male partner to you shagging them well ye that is usually just a male profile also .
As for face timing or a phone to prove they are genuine I won't do either. I don't feel the need to prove I'm genuine and I absolutely hate face timing and hate people pushing me to do it. The same for phone calls I'm not giving out my number as too many go searching with it and I am not that invested in fab to bother with a phone just for it. If that doesn't suit someone who wants to meet me fine they can move on. But I've never had anyone stand me up when I've agreed to meet them nor have I ever stood any one up.
I've learnt to spot most fakes who try to chat to me on here .I usually go by the of they seem too good to be true than they usually are. I also chat for quite a while before I meet and that seems to have worked for me so far anyhow. |
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By *m3232Man
over a year ago
maidenhead |
Guess most are is the best way. Out of 100 you will most likely only find a couple that are either real or you have a sexual attraction too. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There is just a feeling you get after a while and reverse image can help while yes some people have the same pics else where on the net but chances are of it's a model from Brazil who's pic shows up it's not the person you are talking to
Also going full on sex talk is usually a guy not a female or I've found one where they want to treat their male partner to you shagging them well ye that is usually just a male profile also .
As for face timing or a phone to prove they are genuine I won't do either. I don't feel the need to prove I'm genuine and I absolutely hate face timing and hate people pushing me to do it. The same for phone calls I'm not giving out my number as too many go searching with it and I am not that invested in fab to bother with a phone just for it. If that doesn't suit someone who wants to meet me fine they can move on. But I've never had anyone stand me up when I've agreed to meet them nor have I ever stood any one up.
I've learnt to spot most fakes who try to chat to me on here .I usually go by the of they seem too good to be true than they usually are. I also chat for quite a while before I meet and that seems to have worked for me so far anyhow."
Great answer and we absolutely hate the FaceTime thing too!! Always feels so cringey.. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is just a feeling you get after a while and reverse image can help while yes some people have the same pics else where on the net but chances are of it's a model from Brazil who's pic shows up it's not the person you are talking to
Also going full on sex talk is usually a guy not a female or I've found one where they want to treat their male partner to you shagging them well ye that is usually just a male profile also .
As for face timing or a phone to prove they are genuine I won't do either. I don't feel the need to prove I'm genuine and I absolutely hate face timing and hate people pushing me to do it. The same for phone calls I'm not giving out my number as too many go searching with it and I am not that invested in fab to bother with a phone just for it. If that doesn't suit someone who wants to meet me fine they can move on. But I've never had anyone stand me up when I've agreed to meet them nor have I ever stood any one up.
I've learnt to spot most fakes who try to chat to me on here .I usually go by the of they seem too good to be true than they usually are. I also chat for quite a while before I meet and that seems to have worked for me so far anyhow.
Great answer and we absolutely hate the FaceTime thing too!! Always feels so cringey.. x"
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I’ve been very lucky but if someone asks for a c… pic or talks about sex, it’s normally the time to suspect something not quite right.
Believe it or not, I never talk about sex to anyone on Fab. Works for me. |
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Was so much better before t'internet got involved. Fakes, dreamers can rarely be bothered to write a letter, let alone post it via a contact mag with a genuine picture!
Here people want to be your friend despite the fact that you've never even chatted to them, let alone seen their pictures.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lol  |
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One thing I always asked for was a picture of them self/couple and ask them both to be doing something simple like both holding a spoon.
Many a time I’d never hear from them or there was some reason/excuse why they couldn’t do something so simple.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"One thing I always asked for was a picture of them self/couple and ask them both to be doing something simple like both holding a spoon.
Many a time I’d never hear from them or there was some reason/excuse why they couldn’t do something so simple.
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Good idea! Will give that one a try |
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"I do think if they are genuine and are looking to meet then face time should not be a problem
If they won’t just let them pass because chances are they will never meet either "
I wouldn't even know how to FaceTime & don't like giving my phone number out
I could do a cam chat on here, although wouldn't know how to do that either, sometimes it's just that people aren't techy rather than they are being dishonest |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes it's up to us to be more discerning to spot the 65% or so of dreamers and timewasters, I've gotten better at it but still fab need to do more to at least remind people somehow to be more honest and curteous about meeting. |
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I block unverifed people contacting me , also if theyve got nothing to say in there profile i think is a give away, I use search with google lens on there pictures if i think something dodgy is going on, Ive caught 3 people out using this , sending me fake pictures x |
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Some times you have to look at an issue in a different way. So instead of trying to spot the fakes or time wasters, it’ll be better concentrating on what makes someone genuine on here. So for me,
1. Verifications up to date or several years ago ?
2. Regular forum user ? if they’re spending time on the site creating an image of themselves, then they’ll more likely be genuine.
3. Club or social history, also do they write reviews, add themselves to guest lists.
4. Profile up to date, new pictures regularly added.
5. Regular messages between the two parties when you get chatting. Nothing too sexual but enough that they or that person is genuinely interested in you.
6. Time for the meeting, why try to arrange something too far in the future. Most people know what they’re doing that month, if you contact for a meet surely some time soon.
7. Friendship, within their verifications are there some that they meet regularly, shows if they make friends or FWB then they are into the lifestyle fully.
I’m sure there’s a few more but it’s what I look out for.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Some times you have to look at an issue in a different way. So instead of trying to spot the fakes or time wasters, it’ll be better concentrating on what makes someone genuine on here. So for me,
1. Verifications up to date or several years ago ?
2. Regular forum user ? if they’re spending time on the site creating an image of themselves, then they’ll more likely be genuine.
3. Club or social history, also do they write reviews, add themselves to guest lists.
4. Profile up to date, new pictures regularly added.
5. Regular messages between the two parties when you get chatting. Nothing too sexual but enough that they or that person is genuinely interested in you.
6. Time for the meeting, why try to arrange something too far in the future. Most people know what they’re doing that month, if you contact for a meet surely some time soon.
7. Friendship, within their verifications are there some that they meet regularly, shows if they make friends or FWB then they are into the lifestyle fully.
I’m sure there’s a few more but it’s what I look out for. "
Some really good points here thank you!! We already do some of them but will definitely think about these |
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We tend to get a feeling. Single guys that have no details or pics in their profile are generally just looking for wank fodder. We get VERY few messages from couples and the majority of those always give themselves away with sex talk, and constant references to "I" instead of "we/us" and are reluctant to commit to a meet. We NEVER get messages from single women so can't comment
We'd do a video call or phone call if someone insisted on it though we wouldn't be comfortable (we're actually both pretty shy with our clothes on!) but we'd certainly do a one-off photo to prove that there's two of us and that we both know what's going on. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We tend to get a feeling. Single guys that have no details or pics in their profile are generally just looking for wank fodder. We get VERY few messages from couples and the majority of those always give themselves away with sex talk, and constant references to "I" instead of "we/us" and are reluctant to commit to a meet. We NEVER get messages from single women so can't comment
We'd do a video call or phone call if someone insisted on it though we wouldn't be comfortable (we're actually both pretty shy with our clothes on!) but we'd certainly do a one-off photo to prove that there's two of us and that we both know what's going on."
Really like the idea of a one off photo, can’t see many having an issue with that, we certainly wouldn’t |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Get yourself a android device you can click the image and if its anywhere on the Internet it will show up . Or Google reverse image ... if no photos. Veris or photo veri then stay clear or been on over a year with no meets is a tell tale sign |
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"What is your go to thing of spotting fakes on here?
What is it that you use to catch people out.. we have wasted so much time thinking we are chatting to genuine women and couples only to then realise they aren’t who they said they are etc.. we have been really close to calling it a day due to the constant fakes.. We feel asking people to FaceTime to prove they are genuine is going to put some off but other than that or a quick phone call what else can we do?? Verifications go some way but not 100% sure all of these are correct.. Any advice welcome x"
This is kinda why we only really meet at clubs. We don’t have the time or inclination to be messed about so we mostly meet people at clubs and use Fab as a preamble to a club meet. Plus you can’t truely ‘judge’someone till you see the whites of their eyes .
We would agree with other posters that we think you get a feeling very quickly if someone isn’t genuine etc. For us verifications are a good source of info. Good verifications from people who gave good verifications tends to indicate people are genuine We find.
Ultimately we would say decide how You want to use Fab and what for. That will narrow down how you interact. |
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Blank profiles, no pics and no verifications (including photo verification) even though they've been on the site for months is a big give away.
You can always tell if it's a guy messaging as 90% of the time you get pathetic non-descript messages like 'hi', or no effort with their replys.
They like the fantasy of it all but don't want to put any effort in. Even directly sent face pictures can't always be trusted. I've asked for them to hold a particular item in their picture in the past also.
Once you learn the tells, the genuine people stand out a mile. |
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"Get yourself a android device you can click the image and if its anywhere on the Internet it will show up . Or Google reverse image ... "
Not that reliable. Android tends to revert to the "Google Lens" search now with doesn't work as well as a proper reverse image search using Google Images on the web. TinEye is a web site and it's a bit better at finding images.
However....a rotate, crop and stick a black box on a face and it's enough to confuse the image searches  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Blank profiles, no pics and no verifications (including photo verification) even though they've been on the site for months is a big give away.
You can always tell if it's a guy messaging as 90% of the time you get pathetic non-descript messages like 'hi', or no effort with their replys.
They like the fantasy of it all but don't want to put any effort in. Even directly sent face pictures can't always be trusted. I've asked for them to hold a particular item in their picture in the past also.
Once you learn the tells, the genuine people stand out a mile."
We have been on here now long enough to ignore the blank profiles and no pics etc, the biggest problem for us is the men pretending to be couples.. |
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We've had 3 today. Both unverified, no pictures and as soon as they were rumbled they went. |
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By *ittycenMan
over a year ago
south west |
I go on the basis that getting a reply from a woman is so rare, that all profiles are fake until proven otherwise! |
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I’m of the mind set that giving out our methods of fake spotting only helps them |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One thing I always asked for was a picture of them self/couple and ask them both to be doing something simple like both holding a spoon.
Many a time I’d never hear from them or there was some reason/excuse why they couldn’t do something so simple.
"
We like this idea and will use it moving forward. Thanks |
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We always request that any message sent to us has pics of faces. When we get 2 individual pics it makes us wonder, a couples pic we prefer. We always send the same back. The types of pictures show too. Some you can tell are genuine pics, others you can tel as screen shot etc. We just always try to be honest when we talk. Availability isn’t great due to personal lives and Mr does most of the talking, mrs has final say and gets more involved when it appears things are moving more. Then, if there’s attraction etc then we’re happy to move on to a group chat. We also pop onto the cams from time to time too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One thing I always asked for was a picture of them self/couple and ask them both to be doing something simple like both holding a spoon.
Many a time I’d never hear from them or there was some reason/excuse why they couldn’t do something so simple.
Good idea! Will give that one a try "
As a verified couple, I'll say it's not a foolproof way.
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Fakes must love these threads, as they can get tips! Follow the verification trail, see where it leads. You'll learn through experience. |
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Normally no verifications from actual meets! Especially if been online over a year. Anyone can get verified from webcam, That doesn't mean they actually meet though. |
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As has been said many times before go to clubs and socials then you know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Weve just been messaged single guy, very plausible, nice profile and bio, sent a couple of pics which we googled and came back as a model and a cock pic on off several gay sites.
He has 15 friend pics, which makes me wonder how many of those are stolen from people who have fallen for his speel!
He wants to meet that could be interesting lol |
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"As has been said many times before go to clubs and socials then you know. "
Unfortunately clubs and socials aren't an option for everyone. Our closest is an hour away and that journey alone will knock Char out enough that play will be out of the question. |
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I don’t think we have really had a problem with fakes. We like to get chatting quite quickly if there’s a spark on messages. We tend to use kik and get can Live Photo’s on there anyone that prolongs it or has trouble we just block . |
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We kind of Just leave our hooking up with others to when we're in the clubs rather than online. Meeting and chatting face to face seems to cut out a lot time wasting and messing around. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Really like this idea. Thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is just a feeling you get after a while and reverse image can help while yes some people have the same pics else where on the net but chances are of it's a model from Brazil who's pic shows up it's not the person you are talking to
Also going full on sex talk is usually a guy not a female or I've found one where they want to treat their male partner to you shagging them well ye that is usually just a male profile also .
As for face timing or a phone to prove they are genuine I won't do either. I don't feel the need to prove I'm genuine and I absolutely hate face timing and hate people pushing me to do it. The same for phone calls I'm not giving out my number as too many go searching with it and I am not that invested in fab to bother with a phone just for it. If that doesn't suit someone who wants to meet me fine they can move on. But I've never had anyone stand me up when I've agreed to meet them nor have I ever stood any one up.
I've learnt to spot most fakes who try to chat to me on here .I usually go by the of they seem too good to be true than they usually are. I also chat for quite a while before I meet and that seems to have worked for me so far anyhow."
So is ok for you to do google reverse research and find out the real identity of the person, but is not right when the person makes a search for your phone number? Do you give them your real id?
Fair enough if they displayed a face pic on their profile,if is there is for the public...
This is why I never send a face pic. My only pic can be found on my professional profile, I don't really want to mix up private life with Fab. Not trying to find out details about anyone's id, not exposing mine. So, probably I'm a fake... |
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Not photo verified or no verifications or all the verifications are cam |
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By *ev_1Couple
over a year ago
Bickliegh |
Morning all genuine couple here sorry for the breaking news but it's bloody hard work here sometimes happy swinging to you all x  |
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"There is just a feeling you get after a while and reverse image can help while yes some people have the same pics else where on the net but chances are of it's a model from Brazil who's pic shows up it's not the person you are talking to
Also going full on sex talk is usually a guy not a female or I've found one where they want to treat their male partner to you shagging them well ye that is usually just a male profile also .
As for face timing or a phone to prove they are genuine I won't do either. I don't feel the need to prove I'm genuine and I absolutely hate face timing and hate people pushing me to do it. The same for phone calls I'm not giving out my number as too many go searching with it and I am not that invested in fab to bother with a phone just for it. If that doesn't suit someone who wants to meet me fine they can move on. But I've never had anyone stand me up when I've agreed to meet them nor have I ever stood any one up.
I've learnt to spot most fakes who try to chat to me on here .I usually go by the of they seem too good to be true than they usually are. I also chat for quite a while before I meet and that seems to have worked for me so far anyhow.
So is ok for you to do google reverse research and find out the real identity of the person, but is not right when the person makes a search for your phone number? Do you give them your real id?
Fair enough if they displayed a face pic on their profile,if is there is for the public...
This is why I never send a face pic. My only pic can be found on my professional profile, I don't really want to mix up private life with Fab. Not trying to find out details about anyone's id, not exposing mine. So, probably I'm a fake..."
For me a reverse image search isn't trying to track someone down, it's trying to rule out catfishing. I've had a few guys on here send me face photos that are of models or are stock images.
There's a big difference between checking out a photo isn't an obvious fake and hunting someone on linkedin/social media using their mobile number.
I do have headshots from past jobs online so if those were the face photos I shared anyone could use them to track down past employers. I just take other face photos though, ones that don't link to my professional networks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Get yourself a android device you can click the image and if its anywhere on the Internet it will show up . Or Google reverse image ...
Not that reliable. Android tends to revert to the "Google Lens" search now with doesn't work as well as a proper reverse image search using Google Images on the web. TinEye is a web site and it's a bit better at finding images.
However....a rotate, crop and stick a black box on a face and it's enough to confuse the image searches "
Correct. Google Lens is utter shite IMO! |
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For us the verifications do work on this site if the profile has over 10 ish off different peoples veris , if in doubt a lady to lady phone call usually works , only been let down twice in over 5 years when a meet has been arranged , we wouldn’t mess about with FaceTime nor putting special photos up |
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Will always get them sadly and as someone has said the tinternet has made a bad situation even worse most times !! and it's the whole catch 22 thingie ...we try our best to be honest and upfront and so not after sex meets etc etc so then we get labelled timewasters/fakes or even after meeting there isn't any kind of spark/attraction and so we don't want to procceed to sexy naked fun again the labels come out and the trick is just to take Fab for what is and that's mainly a distraction or bit of fun from your everyday mundane life and aanything else that might happen is a bonus and we are 99% shocked and surprised when people turn to be what they say they are now ...sad but tur but luckily for us we have some great friends on here and we meet others throught them and they meet others through us ..and of course we attend social events when we can xx  |
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By *JCouple
over a year ago
Teesside |
Follow the meet verification trail if its a closed loop of 3 to 4 accounts chances are they could be fake.
If the veris i.e. who has verified the person who verified you and so on effectively will go on forever. Even better if a club or event organiser had verified the person as well.
KJ |
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
"One thing I always asked for was a picture of them self/couple and ask them both to be doing something simple like both holding a spoon.
Many a time I’d never hear from them or there was some reason/excuse why they couldn’t do something so simple.
Good idea! Will give that one a try
As a verified couple, I'll say it's not a foolproof way.
"
It’s quite comical really...we’d certainly never bother jumping through someone’s photo hoops to prove we are genuine, and suspect that’s the case for most genuine people.
That’s probably the reason why the couple suggesting it often never hears from them again, rather than having unearthed a fake! |
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"What is your go to thing of spotting fakes on here?
What is it that you use to catch people out.. we have wasted so much time thinking we are chatting to genuine women and couples only to then realise they aren’t who they said they are etc.. we have been really close to calling it a day due to the constant fakes.. We feel asking people to FaceTime to prove they are genuine is going to put some off but other than that or a quick phone call what else can we do?? Verifications go some way but not 100% sure all of these are correct.. Any advice welcome x"
Simple, you already have the answer - request a brief call/video chat with both parties early on. There's no need to show faces, so no risk to anyone's privacy. Hardly any genuine couples here aren't aware of this problem so why would they object? Yes it will put some off but ask yourself who they're most likely to be. Of course if they do refuse it doesn't prove they're fake but at that point you should walk away if you don't want to find yourselves back to square one wasting all that time. |
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"I can't give you a definitive answer but you just get a feel for it. Men tend to message differently to women and talk about sex and fantasies in a different way. "
Yes it normally goes something like this:
Hi how are you?
Lovely profile and pictures.
Do you have anything nice planned today?
What are you wearing?
Do you have knickers on?
Have you ever had a really big cock up your arse?...
It's a bit of a give-away... |
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It’s quite comical really...we’d certainly never bother jumping through someone’s photo hoops to prove we are genuine, and suspect that’s the case for most genuine people.
That’s probably the reason why the couple suggesting it often never hears from them again, rather than having unearthed a fake! "
Is it jumping thrpugh hoops necessarily? If we were seeking couples and were asked to go on cam or for a picture of us both we'd be happy to oblige. What we would never do is show our faces here or on any swinging site. Given the number of single guys posing as couples on sites like this and the problems they cause, we'd be probably more concerned about anyone who didn't want to check we're a real MF couple that those who asked us to quickly verify it early on.
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"I can't give you a definitive answer but you just get a feel for it. Men tend to message differently to women and talk about sex and fantasies in a different way.
Yes it normally goes something like this:
Hi how are you?
Lovely profile and pictures.
Do you have anything nice planned today?
What are you wearing?
Do you have knickers on?
Have you ever had a really big cock up your arse?...
It's a bit of a give-away... "
damn, that's where I've been going wrong..seriously though, I just go with my gut, if it's too good to be true then it probably isn't. |
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"What is your go to thing of spotting fakes on here?
What is it that you use to catch people out.. we have wasted so much time thinking we are chatting to genuine women and couples only to then realise they aren’t who they said they are etc.. we have been really close to calling it a day due to the constant fakes.. We feel asking people to FaceTime to prove they are genuine is going to put some off but other than that or a quick phone call what else can we do?? Verifications go some way but not 100% sure all of these are correct.. Any advice welcome x
Simple, you already have the answer - request a brief call/video chat with both parties early on. There's no need to show faces, so no risk to anyone's privacy. Hardly any genuine couples here aren't aware of this problem so why would they object? Yes it will put some off but ask yourself who they're most likely to be. Of course if they do refuse it doesn't prove they're fake but at that point you should walk away if you don't want to find yourselves back to square one wasting all that time. "
We think our verifications are enough to prove we are genuine, we are happy enough to talk on phone it’s worked for us |
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Never rely on verifications unless there’s a clear trail!
I’ve known fakes with 6/7 verifications with what looks like dead genuine profiles.
I under no circumstances will do a social. So I expect a face time or live Snapchat call before even contemplating meeting.
Find lots of people meet in clubs and then do 1:1s outside of it as they all know they are genuine. |
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
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It’s quite comical really...we’d certainly never bother jumping through someone’s photo hoops to prove we are genuine, and suspect that’s the case for most genuine people.
That’s probably the reason why the couple suggesting it often never hears from them again, rather than having unearthed a fake!
Is it jumping thrpugh hoops necessarily? If we were seeking couples and were asked to go on cam or for a picture of us both we'd be happy to oblige. What we would never do is show our faces here or on any swinging site. Given the number of single guys posing as couples on sites like this and the problems they cause, we'd be probably more concerned about anyone who didn't want to check we're a real MF couple that those who asked us to quickly verify it early on.
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Well it comes down to individual choice isn’t it? We would never go on cam here, but we’ll share photos of our faces and talk to people on the phone.
We’ve been here quite a while though and we only look to meet women for FFM, so we’ve developed a fairly good sense of who is and isn’t fake before any of this is even a consideration. |
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"
It’s quite comical really...we’d certainly never bother jumping through someone’s photo hoops to prove we are genuine, and suspect that’s the case for most genuine people.
That’s probably the reason why the couple suggesting it often never hears from them again, rather than having unearthed a fake!
Is it jumping thrpugh hoops necessarily? If we were seeking couples and were asked to go on cam or for a picture of us both we'd be happy to oblige. What we would never do is show our faces here or on any swinging site. Given the number of single guys posing as couples on sites like this and the problems they cause, we'd be probably more concerned about anyone who didn't want to check we're a real MF couple that those who asked us to quickly verify it early on.
Well it comes down to individual choice isn’t it? We would never go on cam here, but we’ll share photos of our faces and talk to people on the phone.
We’ve been here quite a while though and we only look to meet women for FFM, so we’ve developed a fairly good sense of who is and isn’t fake before any of this is even a consideration."
Definitely. Each to his/her own.
We don't share face pics anyomre because of something which happened to us on the first swinging site we joined many years ago. It's just our choice now but we can still appreciate why guys we're chatting to would want to see us both on camera at least. We'd never rely on face or body pictures anyway because they're easily borrowed.
That's the main reason why after chatting with someone for a good while and got a good feeling about them, our first meetings are always social only. That way if they're not at all like the images they've shared it doesn't ruin the entire evening. We had one guy who did that - he was about 5 stone heavier than the pictures on his profile lol but was still a nice guy and we had a good evening but never met him again.
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We are quite happy to do a call to prove we are genuine, we know all to well how disheartening it is trying to build up a conversation to then find they are fake. |
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Lots of answers. Some dont really work.
For example, not wanting to facetime does not mean people are fake...we would struggle to facetime as we usually have one of our kids floating about.
Even verifications only go so far as we once had a multi veri account admit it was just the guy aa had split up with his partner some months previously...
Personally, we tend to stick to verified only accounts (even just a photo veri) and then go by the messages themselves. We can pretty much guess who's wasting our time and who isnt early on. It's not fool proof but we get more hits than misses.
But it may be easier for us as we host socials from time to time and more often than not we connect with people through those rather than fab.
But yes, it would be nice if fab was more reliable.
So just use common sense. If you feel red flags are popping up, just shut it down there and then.
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I always look at the verifications its a bonus if they know someone I know. Also a bonus if they are verified by a club or verification in a club.
They can say a lot a person's personality also as I prefer someone with a likening to the social side as much as the play side.
Someone said also if there is veri chain yes couldnt agree more. Always look dodgy when it's the same 4 accounts |
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Usually too good to be true profiles, with no, verifications and no photos. Especially when they have joined over a year ago.
I tend to just ignore them, or spend very minimal amount of time or effort on them. |
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If its a couple/single lady profile with 1 public pic,1 private and 1 veri from a guy who when you check that profile and its hidden then it's usually a fake. |
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If I can I get them onto Kik and ask for a video message saying hello Malcolm. Over the years about 5% were able to do that. So I guess the rest were fake |
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Just ask them to take a specific direct photo like both doing peace signs with their fingers or something if you are getting vibes they're not real, if they're genuinely interested it's a small hoop to jump through to make sure everyone is legit.
Quickly sorts out the people who can do it from those who can't. |
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"Just ask them to take a specific direct photo like both doing peace signs with their fingers or something if you are getting vibes they're not real, if they're genuinely interested it's a small hoop to jump through to make sure everyone is legit.
Quickly sorts out the people who can do it from those who can't. "
Nothing to do with this thread, but love your profile text |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is your go to thing of spotting fakes on here?
What is it that you use to catch people out.. we have wasted so much time thinking we are chatting to genuine women and couples only to then realise they aren’t who they said they are etc.. we have been really close to calling it a day due to the constant fakes.. We feel asking people to FaceTime to prove they are genuine is going to put some off but other than that or a quick phone call what else can we do?? Verifications go some way but not 100% sure all of these are correct.. Any advice welcome x"
The main issue I have seen is real people stealing other profile pics and making fake profiles with them.
Apart from that being a form of identity theft, it also makes it hard work for genuine profiles to be taken seriously.
Reverse image search works wonders for some well known web images, but not all of them show up.
There is also a lot of people using porn film screen grabs as well, but they stand out like a pork chop on a vegan buffet lol
Some couples on here even slip stolen pics and videos into their profile and hope to get away with it.
Dreamers. Don't we all dream? Timewasters are the curse of this site, but there will always be that kind on here and other sites.
Filter them out, stick a private note on the profile, move on. Blocking them just allows them to get away with it out of your reach.
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"What is your go to thing of spotting fakes on here?
What is it that you use to catch people out.. we have wasted so much time thinking we are chatting to genuine women and couples only to then realise they aren’t who they said they are etc.. we have been really close to calling it a day due to the constant fakes.. We feel asking people to FaceTime to prove they are genuine is going to put some off but other than that or a quick phone call what else can we do?? Verifications go some way but not 100% sure all of these are correct.. Any advice welcome x"
My method is very simple and it is based on controversial The Rules - but it works!
If a person or couple does not ask me for a coffee (or do not agree to a coffee) within 4 or 5 messages then I stop corresponding.
It is not failproof of course, I have still been stood up, even though everything was agreed - once when I originally registered (I had my suspicions though so slotted that coffee meeting in between the others, good thing I did that) and twice over this past year which was one of the reasons why I am currently only meeting at munches.
With couples, I will give them the benefit of the doubt and I am OK to organise a brief video call first - but it is amazing how many disappear when I suggest that
Which is fine with me because I've had my curiosity satisfied what it is to have a "unicorn" experience so it would only be an exceptional couple that I would be interested in anyway.
When I had been a part of a couples profile and we organised some adventures, the method we used was to have a shortlist of men who were interested and arrange short video calls with them and then meet them for a coffee. Out of 10 shortlisted 3 or 4 managed a video call and 2 managed a coffee. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I guess we all have different ways to un cover a faker - mine is simple really - if the conversations have been leading towards sex, then ask to meet them for a social non sex meet over a drink/coffee first - it seems to work for me
J xx |
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[Removed by poster at 22/09/21 12:37:13] |
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"Just ask them to take a specific direct photo like both doing peace signs with their fingers or something if you are getting vibes they're not real, if they're genuinely interested it's a small hoop to jump through to make sure everyone is legit.
Quickly sorts out the people who can do it from those who can't.
Nothing to do with this thread, but love your profile text "
Why thank you!
Very kind to say  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hmm not sure I agree with regards to the decline of a social being a pointer towards a fake profile.
I have no interest in meeting anyone for coffee. I will however always videocall a potential meet prior. |
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"What is your go to thing of spotting fakes on here?
What is it that you use to catch people out.. we have wasted so much time thinking we are chatting to genuine women and couples only to then realise they aren’t who they said they are etc.. we have been really close to calling it a day due to the constant fakes.. We feel asking people to FaceTime to prove they are genuine is going to put some off but other than that or a quick phone call what else can we do?? Verifications go some way but not 100% sure all of these are correct.. Any advice welcome x
My method is very simple and it is based on controversial The Rules - but it works!
If a person or couple does not ask me for a coffee (or do not agree to a coffee) within 4 or 5 messages then I stop corresponding.
It is not failproof of course, I have still been stood up, even though everything was agreed - once when I originally registered (I had my suspicions though so slotted that coffee meeting in between the others, good thing I did that) and twice over this past year which was one of the reasons why I am currently only meeting at munches.
With couples, I will give them the benefit of the doubt and I am OK to organise a brief video call first - but it is amazing how many disappear when I suggest that
Which is fine with me because I've had my curiosity satisfied what it is to have a "unicorn" experience so it would only be an exceptional couple that I would be interested in anyway.
When I had been a part of a couples profile and we organised some adventures, the method we used was to have a shortlist of men who were interested and arrange short video calls with them and then meet them for a coffee. Out of 10 shortlisted 3 or 4 managed a video call and 2 managed a coffee."
sounds about right |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you everyone who has replied, took a lot of things from it and certainly putting them to practice x |
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