FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Verifications
Verifications
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Many of you will be familiar with the catch 22 you face when going for a job. Namely the employer won't take you on because you don't have the experience. You can't get experience if you aren't given an opportunity! A similar issue exists on here. Namely people who won't meet up with you because you don't have any verifications. So the question to all the experienced swingers on here is, how do you get around this catch 22? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Many of you will be familiar with the catch 22 you face when going for a job. Namely the employer won't take you on because you don't have the experience. You can't get experience if you aren't given an opportunity! A similar issue exists on here. Namely people who won't meet up with you because you don't have any verifications. So the question to all the experienced swingers on here is, how do you get around this catch 22?"
Not really because here you can go to a social or a club and get verified easily! |
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Sadly, this site is oversubscribed for men. To get any recognition, you need to have a good profile but also some luck. Is your profile putting you at the best light it can? Why should anyone choose you over tons of other single men?
You can get cam verification which would be a good start. And you can try organised socials where at least the organisers would verify you- however, single men spaces usually fill up very fast for those events.
There is also swingers clubs- where again at least the hosts would verify you. But if you're shy and don't know how to do small talk, they may not be the best for you. |
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Most of my meets are with non verified guys
Catchy bio, some good photos (I once messaged a guy because he had his cock in a hotdog bun with ketchup & mustard on top, it made me laugh)
& jobs a good un, no one needs a verification, they just need to stand out, have something on their profile that will grab attention |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most of my meets are with non verified guys
Catchy bio, some good photos (I once messaged a guy because he had his cock in a hotdog bun with ketchup & mustard on top, it made me laugh)
& jobs a good un, no one needs a verification, they just need to stand out, have something on their profile that will grab attention "
Agree I judge on my interactions with them not their verifications!
My last meet was webcam verified only! |
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By *afksedMan
over a year ago
Birmingham |
You get around the catch 22 by first of all appreciating that there is no catch 22.
The odds are stacked against single men so you have to work hard to overcome them. It’s that simple.
Haven’t been here long but I put in the effort and so far I feel I’m one of the lucky ones. I’m no oil painting, I’m not the youngest or the fittest, but I have my strengths.
You have to sell yourself because, frankly, the women here have the pick of who they want. |
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Our first verification happened (on our old profile initially) after we met a lovely couple at Rios spa and chatted (shortly before we reluctantly left because I was knackered!), we didn't even give veris a thought and were chuffed to bits to receive one 
I imagine cam veris are the way to go if clubs etc aren't an option for whatever reason |
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I've got three via cams, all done on a one to one basis. Not the same as a meeting verification but I'm proud of them! At least it shows I'm a real person, not afraid to display myself when the time is right and provide a happy ending if requested. You do have to work at it though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s easy to be verified…
Socials up and down the country and clubs
Also having a verification doesn’t guarantee any more meets.
If you seriously want a veri then go to a social |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Could I ask as we’re on the topic of verifications, do couples profiles just ask for photo verification from one person, or both? I’m still unsure when talking to couples if it’s just a guy that has photo verified and set up a couples profile..? |
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Way back when we first joined, we were lucky enough to find a couple happy to meet with us and answer the many questions we had about swinging.
Next time I logged-on we had a verification.
People can also get verified by cam, or going along to clubs. |
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"Could I ask as we’re on the topic of verifications, do couples profiles just ask for photo verification from one person, or both? I’m still unsure when talking to couples if it’s just a guy that has photo verified and set up a couples profile..?"
Both - and had to be together in the photo, i.e. not two separate photos. |
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"Thank you, thank has put my mind at rest more than you realise! "
Oh, I've just noticed you're new.
In that case, be aware that although there is that proviso on couple's accounts, that doesn't mean the couple haven't split-up, or that the female is still interested or involved in the lifestyle.
Sorry if that un-rests your mind!
Of course, recent verifications can help. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hard to really get meets without verification, my meets have been unverified members and we stayed unverified yet even though after meeting other members and showing how real you are."
We always verify men that we chat with at clubs if they ask us
A trick that we heard as you can’t have your phone out in a club is to make up some slips of paper with your Fab name on to give to people you chat with. |
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By *afksedMan
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"Hard to really get meets without verification, my meets have been unverified members and we stayed unverified yet even though after meeting other members and showing how real you are.
We always verify men that we chat with at clubs if they ask us
A trick that we heard as you can’t have your phone out in a club is to make up some slips of paper with your Fab name on to give to people you chat with. "
Good call - I like that! |
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"A trick that we heard as you can’t have your phone out in a club is to make up some slips of paper with your Fab name on to give to people you chat with. "
We spent £17 at VistaPrint and got business cards made up with our faces, names, Fab and other web details plus phone numbers on
(Bry) |
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One thing I've noticed - just going to a social or a club doesn't mean the organisers verify you. I've only been verified once by a club (Playgrounds) and never by a social organiser, despite attending several including some well known venues.
Without talking to people at events you won't get verified. |
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"Could I ask as we’re on the topic of verifications, do couples profiles just ask for photo verification from one person, or both? I’m still unsure when talking to couples if it’s just a guy that has photo verified and set up a couples profile..?"
For us we tend to send a live pic of both of us or set up a group chat elsewhere.
Mrs |
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"One thing I've noticed - just going to a social or a club doesn't mean the organisers verify you. I've only been verified once by a club (Playgrounds) and never by a social organiser, despite attending several including some well known venues.
Without talking to people at events you won't get verified."
Did you ask the social organisers for a verification? Tbf, We probably wouldn’t just DO someone one unless they asked. a) not everyone wants to advertise where they have been and B) I’d be Sat doing them for 2 weeks xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A trick that we heard as you can’t have your phone out in a club is to make up some slips of paper with your Fab name on to give to people you chat with.
We spent £17 at VistaPrint and got business cards made up with our faces, names, Fab and other web details plus phone numbers on
(Bry)"
You can just tell that you’ve got class!
Jeez I’d be a bit worried about that much personal info floating about though or being pinned up in the works toilet. |
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"Jeez I’d be a bit worried about that much personal info floating about though or being pinned up in the works toilet. "
We're on Twitter and Insta and no longer worried about who sees us. Depends on where the toilet is, we might have better luck than in here.
(Bry) |
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"Jeez I’d be a bit worried about that much personal info floating about though or being pinned up in the works toilet.
We're on Twitter and Insta and no longer worried about who sees us. Depends on where the toilet is, we might have better luck than in here.
(Bry)"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jeez I’d be a bit worried about that much personal info floating about though or being pinned up in the works toilet.
We're on Twitter and Insta and no longer worried about who sees us. Depends on where the toilet is, we might have better luck than in here.
(Bry)"
Good on ya! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Many of you will be familiar with the catch 22 you face when going for a job. Namely the employer won't take you on because you don't have the experience. You can't get experience if you aren't given an opportunity! A similar issue exists on here. Namely people who won't meet up with you because you don't have any verifications. So the question to all the experienced swingers on here is, how do you get around this catch 22?"
You could always just go on cam and get a verification.
Some build up lots of cam verifications and then once they get a meet they hide them and make out they are all from real life meets.
Hence why so many hide the veri summary  |
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I fully understand this in both regards haha. Last year, I visited a club for the first time and spoke to a staff member for the majority of my visit. She had offered to verify me but it never happened despite us chatting on Fab briefly after my visit. I felt a bit too awkward to contact her again as I didn't want to be pushy. |
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"Many of you will be familiar with the catch 22 you face when going for a job. Namely the employer won't take you on because you don't have the experience. You can't get experience if you aren't given an opportunity! A similar issue exists on here. Namely people who won't meet up with you because you don't have any verifications. So the question to all the experienced swingers on here is, how do you get around this catch 22?"
Solution: Get verified in the cam chat rooms by doing freebie video cam play and chats |
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I've been struggling with this myself. I'm quite new to the site and have been photo verified but can't get verified further until someone cams or meets with me. If I go on the mobile cam chat option and start my own cam do I just wait until someone messages me or do I go into someone else's cam chat and show my cam and hope they verify me? Don't mean to sound dumb but genuinely not sure how it works. |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
cam veris prove nothing other than your will to sit in front a cam they are poitless ... a meet veri proves you got off your backside and met someone for reall face to face fun or social ..
men will always have it harder as they out number couples and women by some measure some say 100 to 1 some say alot lot more ... the problem for men is there is not someone for every one therefor have to go that extra mile to stand out ie with things like clubs and socials the work they really do the more you get known the more fun you have thats how you get your veris by meeting in other ways
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Bit of a parallel point but There was a lady on here (probably still is just haven’t seen her profile around for a while) that used to (very very kindly) dedicate a few hours each week just to FaceTiming/camming people to help newbies get a veri. She’s a really thoughtful woman.
I tried doing it once but the fella wasn’t interested in the quick chat I had offered and was complaining how it was shit that I wasn’t getting my boobs out - kinda put me off doing it again - so double praise on the lady that did it every week.
GG x |
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"I've been struggling with this myself. I'm quite new to the site and have been photo verified but can't get verified further until someone cams or meets with me. If I go on the mobile cam chat option and start my own cam do I just wait until someone messages me or do I go into someone else's cam chat and show my cam and hope they verify me? Don't mean to sound dumb but genuinely not sure how it works."
Do both. Chat to others in cam chat. Then put your camera on and hopefully someone will chat to you. Don't just sit there and wank all night on camera (plus I really don't know how a man can keep wanking for hours lol obviously not doing it right to himself lol) |
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Going to clubs has its own minefields and it's costly for most people. It's difficult and alot of work and patience to get verifications. But just don't be demanding, sleazy, weird or stalkerish and you should get someone to give you a veri. |
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We have met unverified people. They are not necessary to get a meet or something once you have that will guarantee you a meet. That said, a profile over a year old with no veris would be something that may make us think twice. |
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The advice given above about going to clubs and socials isn't always an option.
There are no full time clubs on the island of Ireland and those that do exist are only open for monthly events which are by invitation only.
The vast majority of comments on the forums in regards to cam only veries are dismissive so once again not an option for most people.
There are some small socials that are open to non-verified but these have been abused in recent times with reporters showing up and most of the larger socials are only open to recently verified members.
The best way to solve the catch-22 issue is by consistently engaging in the forums and giving people a better idea of your personality and by having the patience to allow others to reach out or feel comfortable enough to accept your request to attend a social. |
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"Going to clubs has its own minefields and it's costly for most people.
Lots of hobbies are costly. "
But my expensive hobbies give me great joy and satisfaction... unlike clubs. Just mentioning all the suggestions aren't going to give op 100% success rate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The advice given above about going to clubs and socials isn't always an option.
There are no full time clubs on the island of Ireland and those that do exist are only open for monthly events which are by invitation only.
The vast majority of comments on the forums in regards to cam only veries are dismissive so once again not an option for most people.
There are some small socials that are open to non-verified but these have been abused in recent times with reporters showing up and most of the larger socials are only open to recently verified members.
The best way to solve the catch-22 issue is by consistently engaging in the forums and giving people a better idea of your personality and by having the patience to allow others to reach out or feel comfortable enough to accept your request to attend a social. "
I’d agree about the forums, my recent meet(s) came off the back of a forum thread. And it was my best meet in 7 years. |
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"how do you get around this catch 22?"
Maybe use the forum search and read what's been said a zillion times already.
Swinging is nothing like employment. Except that, even if one did have the correct experience, the CV might be crap |
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"Trying to get to one of the sociala but it's always when I have my kids. Can't really take them along... Plus it's quite daunting to walk into a group..."
You are right, most socials have pre chat going to get people talking to each other, still tough but think of it as confidence practice exercise xx you will get there. Just read the body language and if someone is not into you, leave them and move on. |
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"Trying to get to one of the sociala but it's always when I have my kids. Can't really take them along... Plus it's quite daunting to walk into a group...
You are right, most socials have pre chat going to get people talking to each other, still tough but think of it as confidence practice exercise xx you will get there. Just read the body language and if someone is not into you, leave them and move on. "
I can walk into a group, that's not a problem. Did it at the Brighton munch twice even with lockdown in between. I think the problem is more that based on my experience on here, I don't think anyone would be into me, so the risk Vs reward isn't worth it. |
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"Hard to really get meets without verification, my meets have been unverified members and we stayed unverified yet even though after meeting other members and showing how real you are.
We always verify men that we chat with at clubs if they ask us
A trick that we heard as you can’t have your phone out in a club is to make up some slips of paper with your Fab name on to give to people you chat with. "
Wish I had popped you a piece of paper when we met at a naughty Medway club....went home to message you and found I was blocked must of been something from a past life  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hard to really get meets without verification, my meets have been unverified members and we stayed unverified yet even though after meeting other members and showing how real you are.
We always verify men that we chat with at clubs if they ask us
A trick that we heard as you can’t have your phone out in a club is to make up some slips of paper with your Fab name on to give to people you chat with.
Wish I had popped you a piece of paper when we met at a naughty Medway club....went home to message you and found I was blocked must of been something from a past life "
We have never blocked anyone without reason.
I’m sure that you feel you were the model of charm that evening so yes it must have been a past life event then.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Trying to get to one of the sociala but it's always when I have my kids. Can't really take them along... Plus it's quite daunting to walk into a group...
You are right, most socials have pre chat going to get people talking to each other, still tough but think of it as confidence practice exercise xx you will get there. Just read the body language and if someone is not into you, leave them and move on.
I can walk into a group, that's not a problem. Did it at the Brighton munch twice even with lockdown in between. I think the problem is more that based on my experience on here, I don't think anyone would be into me, so the risk Vs reward isn't worth it."
I doubt that! You’re good looking. |
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"Trying to get to one of the sociala but it's always when I have my kids. Can't really take them along... Plus it's quite daunting to walk into a group...
You are right, most socials have pre chat going to get people talking to each other, still tough but think of it as confidence practice exercise xx you will get there. Just read the body language and if someone is not into you, leave them and move on.
I can walk into a group, that's not a problem. Did it at the Brighton munch twice even with lockdown in between. I think the problem is more that based on my experience on here, I don't think anyone would be into me, so the risk Vs reward isn't worth it.
I doubt that! You’re good looking."
Thanks, but honestly, I can't get a date to save my life, literally. I got stood up for a wonky curtain hook last week (true story). I just don't have much confidence left. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Trying to get to one of the sociala but it's always when I have my kids. Can't really take them along... Plus it's quite daunting to walk into a group...
You are right, most socials have pre chat going to get people talking to each other, still tough but think of it as confidence practice exercise xx you will get there. Just read the body language and if someone is not into you, leave them and move on.
I can walk into a group, that's not a problem. Did it at the Brighton munch twice even with lockdown in between. I think the problem is more that based on my experience on here, I don't think anyone would be into me, so the risk Vs reward isn't worth it.
I doubt that! You’re good looking.
Thanks, but honestly, I can't get a date to save my life, literally. I got stood up for a wonky curtain hook last week (true story). I just don't have much confidence left."
I wouldn’t take it personally! HIt me up if you ever come to London (moving there in 2 weeks) |
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Cam is a good way to start or a social but do not go with expectations of fun. Read profiles, put a bit if effort into messages and be polite. Make sure you turn up and things will take off. Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You say on your profile, that you have an FWB. Could she go to a club or social with you? My only experience of socials was going with my best mate who is on here. I could never have gone on my own either. |
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By *edgirlWoman
over a year ago
Berkhamsted |
"Thank you, thank has put my mind at rest more than you realise!
Oh, I've just noticed you're new.
In that case, be aware that although there is that proviso on couple's accounts, that doesn't mean the couple haven't split-up, or that the female is still interested or involved in the lifestyle.
Sorry if that un-rests your mind!
Of course, recent verifications can help."
Definitely verify in other ways. I always have a group chat away from Fab with all parties involved.
Believe it or not, one guy still pretended to be a couple but was just using 2 phones. I caught him out with the similar language/phrases he used. God knows how he thought he'd never get found out lol! X |
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By *edgirlWoman
over a year ago
Berkhamsted |
"Trying to get to one of the sociala but it's always when I have my kids. Can't really take them along... Plus it's quite daunting to walk into a group..."
The organisers will meet u and chat when u get there if you're nervous. Just send them a DM before the event. |
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