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My first social event
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Hey so debating going to my first social event but as I'm new to the community and not really talked to many people who I believe would be going or just been blanked by them when I've sent a random message which i guess as a newbie I thought was a good starter, does anyone have any advice as:
1) whats the best time to get there, arrive early? On time? Late?
2) should I be messaging people before hand to see if anyone wants to like talk beforehand- I'm sorta worried about going in alone and then just being overwhelmed with nervousness so the reason I try and talk to people is to at least be like 'hey I've talked to you'
3)any other tips you think I should know or do
And for info this isnt a sex meet up, it's just a social community event ?? |
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Just be yourself.
Doesn't really matter what time you get there, just not too late.
Tell the event organiser you are new, and hopefully they might introduce you to a few others.
Keep your drinking under control, its easy to have a few quick ones as you are nervous, but getting d*unk will leave a bad impression, so pace yourself.
Whenever you go to the bar, or sit next to someone, just introduce yourself and tell them it's your first time, most people will chat. |
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Don’t be super late, but just go when you want. Socials are super chilled and everyone is there for the same reason- to meet people and socialise so throw yourself in at the deep end and make an effort to speak to people 
I personally don’t like getting to know people before I go, for me that’s why I’m going but some have group chats prior which is good but honestly don’t over think it.
The worst that can happen is you hate it. So you leave. No big deal x |
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We sometimes send a few messages beforehand to people who are going just to say hi and come say hello if you see us, sort of thing. The other thing we tried as well is putting a meet on here to say you are new and and see if anyone messages you |
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"Don’t be super late, but just go when you want. Socials are super chilled and everyone is there for the same reason- to meet people and socialise so throw yourself in at the deep end and make an effort to speak to people
I personally don’t like getting to know people before I go, for me that’s why I’m going but some have group chats prior which is good but honestly don’t over think it.
The worst that can happen is you hate it. So you leave. No big deal x"
Thanks for the advise and yeh I guess everyone has been in my situation from the start so let's see how it goes and if its not for me there is always the option to dip  |
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"We sometimes send a few messages beforehand to people who are going just to say hi and come say hello if you see us, sort of thing. The other thing we tried as well is putting a meet on here to say you are new and and see if anyone messages you "
Might try that and see what happens  |
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By *jonesMan
over a year ago
Totnes |
Sometimes couples can be at worst rude , if you say hi , or in a group just ignore you, so you need a thick skin sometimes ,I know I said it's like a pub in my previous pub, it is but a pub where a percentage of the room will have no interest in talking to you. There will also be lots of nice people as well...just need to find them |
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I think it'd be easier to go to a club night over a social, quite often pre drinks are arranged to break the ice a little if you so choose, and sometimes kik groups set up too so you can if you wish all out a face to a name.
You'll be fine, nerves are good, and you'll ne glad you went. Good luck |
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"Sometimes couples can be at worst rude , if you say hi , or in a group just ignore you, so you need a thick skin sometimes ,I know I said it's like a pub in my previous pub, it is but a pub where a percentage of the room will have no interest in talking to you. There will also be lots of nice people as well...just need to find them "
Fair enough, well I'm quite happy to say hi and see what happens and yeh hopefully everyone is nice and considers me nice there haha |
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"I think it'd be easier to go to a club night over a social, quite often pre drinks are arranged to break the ice a little if you so choose, and sometimes kik groups set up too so you can if you wish all out a face to a name.
You'll be fine, nerves are good, and you'll ne glad you went. Good luck"
Thanks and hopefully I am when I'm there and have a good time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I went to my first social event in December and I went alone. I’d been to Chams once previously and met a couple of people there but there was no one I was super friendly with that were attending. It was pretty nerve wracking but I got there not long after it started, went and spoke to the host and told her I was new etc. she said to grab a drink and come back to her, she’d introduce me to people.
In the mean time though, I’d said hey to some people I knew and had new people come and approach me to say hi so I felt at ease pretty much straight away.
Just try and say hello to people and go from there. Those that are rude/ignore you etc. are clearly not worth getting to know so treat it as a good thing so you don’t have to waste your time on them lol!
Hope you have a great night |
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"I went to my first social event in December and I went alone. I’d been to Chams once previously and met a couple of people there but there was no one I was super friendly with that were attending. It was pretty nerve wracking but I got there not long after it started, went and spoke to the host and told her I was new etc. she said to grab a drink and come back to her, she’d introduce me to people.
In the mean time though, I’d said hey to some people I knew and had new people come and approach me to say hi so I felt at ease pretty much straight away.
Just try and say hello to people and go from there. Those that are rude/ignore you etc. are clearly not worth getting to know so treat it as a good thing so you don’t have to waste your time on them lol!
Hope you have a great night "
Thanks dn hopefully I have a good evening with them., it's nice to hear others first social experiences aswell so thanks for commenting |
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Hi, I’m going to assume you are going to the Fleet social this Thursday. It’s a great social night I’ve been to every one so far and there’s about 50 people expected to attend this week. I get there around 8. The hosts are fantastic and the vibe is really great! I chat to many people, although not men as much because I’m not interested in leading people on but would chat in a group. Obviously there’s many there interested in chatting to men. You will really enjoy it. |
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"Hi, I’m going to assume you are going to the Fleet social this Thursday. It’s a great social night I’ve been to every one so far and there’s about 50 people expected to attend this week. I get there around 8. The hosts are fantastic and the vibe is really great! I chat to many people, although not men as much because I’m not interested in leading people on but would chat in a group. Obviously there’s many there interested in chatting to men. You will really enjoy it. "
Hey, Yeh that's the one haha and yeh reading what's previously happened, sounds like a good meet up with some good hosts and people there ??.
And that's good to know people expectations before I go, I'm really just looking to socialise and get to know people in the area so we will see what happens.
If I recognise you there and I don't feel to overwhelmed/nervous ill be sure to say hi haha and totally get the leading on part as I am sure you'll have other things on your mind with some other people |
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"Also I usually update my status to say I’m attending and add a social meet up too so people who are going can message me and let me know they are going too and can look out for each other there."
I've done the meet part and I guess the status is a good idea to put, which I will do now ,
Thanks |
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"Hi, I’m going to assume you are going to the Fleet social this Thursday. It’s a great social night I’ve been to every one so far and there’s about 50 people expected to attend this week. I get there around 8. The hosts are fantastic and the vibe is really great! I chat to many people, although not men as much because I’m not interested in leading people on but would chat in a group. Obviously there’s many there interested in chatting to men. You will really enjoy it.
Hey, Yeh that's the one haha and yeh reading what's previously happened, sounds like a good meet up with some good hosts and people there ??.
And that's good to know people expectations before I go, I'm really just looking to socialise and get to know people in the area so we will see what happens.
If I recognise you there and I don't feel to overwhelmed/nervous ill be sure to say hi haha and totally get the leading on part as I am sure you'll have other things on your mind with some other people "
Yes please do feel free to say hello. Have you messaged the organisers to say you are going and it’s your first social? Vanilla Switch will make you feel welcome she’s fab at making everyone feel included. |
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"Hi, I’m going to assume you are going to the Fleet social this Thursday. It’s a great social night I’ve been to every one so far and there’s about 50 people expected to attend this week. I get there around 8. The hosts are fantastic and the vibe is really great! I chat to many people, although not men as much because I’m not interested in leading people on but would chat in a group. Obviously there’s many there interested in chatting to men. You will really enjoy it.
Hey, Yeh that's the one haha and yeh reading what's previously happened, sounds like a good meet up with some good hosts and people there ??.
And that's good to know people expectations before I go, I'm really just looking to socialise and get to know people in the area so we will see what happens.
If I recognise you there and I don't feel to overwhelmed/nervous ill be sure to say hi haha and totally get the leading on part as I am sure you'll have other things on your mind with some other people
Yes please do feel free to say hello. Have you messaged the organisers to say you are going and it’s your first social? Vanilla Switch will make you feel welcome she’s fab at making everyone feel included. "
Yes I did, even included a face photo in my message just so they'd be aware of who I am hehe, before I walk in all clueless and looking lost haha  |
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"Hi, I’m going to assume you are going to the Fleet social this Thursday. It’s a great social night I’ve been to every one so far and there’s about 50 people expected to attend this week. I get there around 8. The hosts are fantastic and the vibe is really great! I chat to many people, although not men as much because I’m not interested in leading people on but would chat in a group. Obviously there’s many there interested in chatting to men. You will really enjoy it.
Hey, Yeh that's the one haha and yeh reading what's previously happened, sounds like a good meet up with some good hosts and people there ??.
And that's good to know people expectations before I go, I'm really just looking to socialise and get to know people in the area so we will see what happens.
If I recognise you there and I don't feel to overwhelmed/nervous ill be sure to say hi haha and totally get the leading on part as I am sure you'll have other things on your mind with some other people
Yes please do feel free to say hello. Have you messaged the organisers to say you are going and it’s your first social? Vanilla Switch will make you feel welcome she’s fab at making everyone feel included.
Yes I did, even included a face photo in my message just so they'd be aware of who I am hehe, before I walk in all clueless and looking lost haha "
I’ve heard there’s quite a few newbies this week so you won’t be the only one. We gather at the back you won’t miss us. |
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"Hi, I’m going to assume you are going to the Fleet social this Thursday. It’s a great social night I’ve been to every one so far and there’s about 50 people expected to attend this week. I get there around 8. The hosts are fantastic and the vibe is really great! I chat to many people, although not men as much because I’m not interested in leading people on but would chat in a group. Obviously there’s many there interested in chatting to men. You will really enjoy it.
Hey, Yeh that's the one haha and yeh reading what's previously happened, sounds like a good meet up with some good hosts and people there ??.
And that's good to know people expectations before I go, I'm really just looking to socialise and get to know people in the area so we will see what happens.
If I recognise you there and I don't feel to overwhelmed/nervous ill be sure to say hi haha and totally get the leading on part as I am sure you'll have other things on your mind with some other people
Yes please do feel free to say hello. Have you messaged the organisers to say you are going and it’s your first social? Vanilla Switch will make you feel welcome she’s fab at making everyone feel included.
Yes I did, even included a face photo in my message just so they'd be aware of who I am hehe, before I walk in all clueless and looking lost haha
I’ve heard there’s quite a few newbies this week so you won’t be the only one. We gather at the back you won’t miss us. "
Oh thats good, won't be the only one then haha and yeh, never been inside the place so will work it out when I'm there haha |
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My advice? (worth what you pay for it!)
Dont arrive dead on the dot of the start time, but do aim for shortly after (30mins ish) that way there will be a few folk around and you won't be stood there on your own but equally there won't be enough folk to be super overwhelming - a good social host will make sure to introduce you to one or two folk.
Please don't go into it thinking you are going to find someone to go home with that night! you are just going to the pub, treat it like that. I've had experiences at socials where I've had someone i'm super not into keep approaching me, it ends up super awkward for everyone so try and read the cues you are being given too!
Above all, have fun, don't be too nervous - everyone there went to their first social once after all! |
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