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Am I alone?
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I've meet a few ladies (especially the last two, one from Fab) where we have had physical relationship. We both knew and agreed its a friend with benefits relationship but as time went past feelings have got involved and has caused issues.
I made my intentions clear from the start and throughout the friendship I make sure we're on the same page. But eventually them 3 words gets mention.
Has anyone else experienced this and how did you deal with it? |
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"I've meet a few ladies (especially the last two, one from Fab) where we have had physical relationship. We both knew and agreed its a friend with benefits relationship but as time went past feelings have got involved and has caused issues.
I made my intentions clear from the start and throughout the friendship I make sure we're on the same page. But eventually them 3 words gets mention.
Has anyone else experienced this and how did you deal with it?"
What 3 words? |
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I have yes, I make it clear again that I'm not on the market and I'm not I tested in a relationship with anyone.
I respectfully remove myself from the situation. I would not want to carry something on knowing that they're hoping for it to turn into something that it will not. |
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I think FWB are unnecessarily afraid of feelings and "I love you".
In my opinion, feelings are always involved. And, again being honest, I could easily tell my butcher I love him if he's managed to get me a last minute turkey for Christmas.
Unless moving in, a future together, meeting the parents and a wedding are being discussed, I don't think there's anything to be concerned about. |
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By (user no longer on site) 47 weeks ago
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Of course you're not alone.
Trouble with regular one on one casual sex, it can bring together a connection and with that, either feelings or a misunderstanding of feelings.
It's the risk we take, is all.
If your feelings don't match, I'd suggest to end it and move on. |
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There are feelings involved but it's essential to keep them to comfort and sexual pleasure. You need to check in frequently, to ensure that you're all still feeling the same, with matching objectives. I distance myself, should someone get involved differently. Harsh but fair. |
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By *riel13Woman 47 weeks ago
Northampton |
If you are going to be my friend with benefits, I will love you... I will tell you I love you... It doesn't mean I want any more than what was originally agreed on... But I tell men this at the start, that I will love you... I don't see the point otherwise... Loving someone is not the same as being in love, unfortunately too many can't separate the two |
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By (user no longer on site) 47 weeks ago
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"If you are going to be my friend with benefits, I will love you... I will tell you I love you... It doesn't mean I want any more than what was originally agreed on... But I tell men this at the start, that I will love you... I don't see the point otherwise... Loving someone is not the same as being in love, unfortunately too many can't separate the two"
I love you x |
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"I've meet a few ladies (especially the last two, one from Fab) where we have had physical relationship. We both knew and agreed its a friend with benefits relationship but as time went past feelings have got involved and has caused issues.
I made my intentions clear from the start and throughout the friendship I make sure we're on the same page. But eventually them 3 words gets mention.
Has anyone else experienced this and how did you deal with it?
What 3 words? "
Great app very useful if you need locating   |
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"Unless moving in, a future together, meeting the parents and a wedding are being discussed, I don't think there's anything to be concerned about."
I agree, and men find it difficult to understand grey scales... It's often just Black or White...
He cancelled plans at last minute without explanation. I tried to reason that knowing will help me understand his commitments so I can schedule better with him next time.
Because I've mentioned the dreaded three words before, he simply went AWOL.
It's all about respecting each other. There is even a lack of that with FwB sometimes.
... Next! ... |
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"I've meet a few ladies (especially the last two, one from Fab) where we have had physical relationship. We both knew and agreed its a friend with benefits relationship but as time went past feelings have got involved and has caused issues.
I made my intentions clear from the start and throughout the friendship I make sure we're on the same page. But eventually them 3 words gets mention.
Has anyone else experienced this and how did you deal with it?
What 3 words?
Great app very useful if you need locating "
matchup.crooned.pinpoint |
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"If you are going to be my friend with benefits, I will love you... I will tell you I love you... It doesn't mean I want any more than what was originally agreed on... But I tell men this at the start, that I will love you... I don't see the point otherwise... Loving someone is not the same as being in love, unfortunately too many can't separate the two"
You are of course correct, very different indeed xx |
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"If you are going to be my friend with benefits, I will love you... I will tell you I love you... It doesn't mean I want any more than what was originally agreed on... But I tell men this at the start, that I will love you... I don't see the point otherwise... Loving someone is not the same as being in love, unfortunately too many can't separate the two"
This !. We 'love' our friends too and get upset if we part yet that is not the same as a normal relationship 'love'. We have discussed risks and boundaries and agreed to never let such ferlings go too far, 'we' will always come first and not allow anything to risk our bond. Saying that I Tony had a lady friend for a while who possibly wanted more and ended it when she saw how close and comitted Cherry and I were !  . Another couple had problems with a guy who fell for the female and tried to end their marriage !, she was badly affected by that and took a long time to recover (we were their first couple post tsunami)... |
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Previously, I’ve stopped anything regular if I’ve thought someone has feelings. I don’t think it’s fair to continue.
Now, I don’t do regular or fwb to avoid anything similar 
All you can do is always be honest with what you want and how you feel. And remove yourself from situations where it’s not reciprocated. |
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Not sure why those three words are an issue … they are not a proposal of marriage or a request for a shelf in the bathroom cupboard or an exclusivity contract
They are an expression of caring for a person
I love many people
I’m in love with none of them
Perhaps it’s a male v female thing ! |
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"If you are going to be my friend with benefits, I will love you... I will tell you I love you... It doesn't mean I want any more than what was originally agreed on... But I tell men this at the start, that I will love you... I don't see the point otherwise... Loving someone is not the same as being in love, unfortunately too many can't separate the two"
 |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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My idea of a FWB vs relationship is the former has no emotional attachment and not exclusivity is relatively short term and doesn't involve swinging with others. It is not a relationship and therefore has none of the benefits of one.
A relationship has feelings, emotional investment and some element of exclusivity albeit with swinging. It doesnt involve living with someone and still gives me time and space on my own. But there is trust and openness.
I end FWB relationships where they stray into a grey area of an almost relationship when clear other person or I don't want to make any emotional investment.
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By *oxy jWoman 46 weeks ago
somerset |
ive had a few men over the years say the love you words even tho im extremely happy married they never saw me again im here to have fun for me and hubs i cant be done with those that have emotional issues or clingy drama filled types yuk massive turn off ... |
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By *oxy jWoman 46 weeks ago
somerset |
and fwb can work very well without the emotional bullshit ive one ive known now for 30 years and another over 20 so it can and does work with the right people its friendship me and hubs care but its nothing more than that and never will be .... i met aguy a few weeks ago who whiles getting undressed said dunno why your with him (hubs) he was getting dressed again and leaving clearly did not understand the couples dynamic i swing because of hubs because we are so well suited because we know eaxh other inside out if anything was to happen to him my swinging life style is over as ill never trust or love anyone that much again ..ever ...see its not about swinging its alway been about us me and him and how perfect we are as a couple |
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Difficult to gauge from my point of view, as everyone approaching me seems to be married or partnered and is doing so without that person's knowledge.
Perhaps it's more of a thing in the hetero community? |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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"Difficult to gauge from my point of view, as everyone approaching me seems to be married or partnered and is doing so without that person's knowledge.
Perhaps it's more of a thing in the hetero community? "
Same for me to be honest it's a fab thing I think. |
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My experience of Fab is that it generally serves guys (the majority of site members) looking to get their kicks, either online or via meeting. The vast majority of 'meet now' requests are from men.
I do see some FWB profiles or couples who've got together via Fab although this isn't common.
I would say the site isn't the swing space it once was in the early 2000s given the rise of smart phones and so forth. |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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"I've meet a few ladies (especially the last two, one from Fab) where we have had physical relationship. We both knew and agreed its a friend with benefits relationship but as time went past feelings have got involved and has caused issues.
I made my intentions clear from the start and throughout the friendship I make sure we're on the same page. But eventually them 3 words gets mention.
Has anyone else experienced this and how did you deal with it?"
You're not alone.
How did we deal with it? Well we are now a couple lol
In all honesty this is the first time I've fallen for a fwb and it's turned into more.
Mrs |
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"I've meet a few ladies (especially the last two, one from Fab) where we have had physical relationship. We both knew and agreed its a friend with benefits relationship but as time went past feelings have got involved and has caused issues.
I made my intentions clear from the start and throughout the friendship I make sure we're on the same page. But eventually them 3 words gets mention.
Has anyone else experienced this and how did you deal with it?"
I have had this happen many times. I’ve since learnt that it’s the new to the scene females that say those 3 words.
Another reason now why I prefer meeting women or couples that have been on the scene for years |
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By *elkieWoman 46 weeks ago
Durham |
"If you are going to be my friend with benefits, I will love you... I will tell you I love you... It doesn't mean I want any more than what was originally agreed on... But I tell men this at the start, that I will love you... I don't see the point otherwise... Loving someone is not the same as being in love, unfortunately too many can't separate the two"
This. Life’s too short not to love your friends and our brains are wired to give us euphoric bliss with orgasm. Of course we’re going to love the people we have good sex with.
The problem is that too many people think that love is more important than common sense or boundaries or integrity. Life’s too short to do crazy stuff just because you love someone. I’d go to the shop to buy milk for their tea, but sleepless in Seattle? Nah. |
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"I've meet a few ladies (especially the last two, one from Fab) where we have had physical relationship. We both knew and agreed its a friend with benefits relationship but as time went past feelings have got involved and has caused issues.
I made my intentions clear from the start and throughout the friendship I make sure we're on the same page. But eventually them 3 words gets mention.
Has anyone else experienced this and how did you deal with it?"
Twice. I’m still not fully over the second, which ended over a year ago…. |
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We had it with the male of a cpl. Ended it sharpish. It's not what swinging is about.
Having said that, we knew a cpl that started out as fwb an ended up married. So it can work. In a singles relationship. |
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