FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Am I being too sensitive
Am I being too sensitive
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Hi all, I am not sure if I’m being too sensitive but if someone was to text you telling you they are meeting someone else that day to fuck them would you think well thanks for that but I don’t really need to know that or would you be whatever. Maybe I need to develop a thicker skin haha |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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If you had planned to meet them on the same day then no you are not at all being too sensitive in my opinion.
No one likes being let down at the best of times but to be told, in essences, they would rather sleep with someone else than you is a horrible thing for anyone to be told.
If you hadn't planned a meet it was an odd message to get |
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"If you had planned to meet them on the same day then no you are not at all being too sensitive in my opinion.
No one likes being let down at the best of times but to be told, in essences, they would rather sleep with someone else than you is a horrible thing for anyone to be told.
If you hadn't planned a meet it was an odd message to get"
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By *aizyWoman 45 weeks ago
west midlands |
"If you had planned to meet them on the same day then no you are not at all being too sensitive in my opinion.
No one likes being let down at the best of times but to be told, in essences, they would rather sleep with someone else than you is a horrible thing for anyone to be told.
If you hadn't planned a meet it was an odd message to get"
I agree with this, very weird message to get if you hadn't planned on meeting that day, just a nasty thing to do if you had planned on meeting. |
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Depends if it comes out in conversation i.e. after asking what they're doing today, or if they just told you apropos of nothing. But either way I think it's a little distasteful. If you had specifically asked for that information it would be OK I think. |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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"Hi all, I am not sure if I’m being too sensitive but if someone was to text you telling you they are meeting someone else that day to fuck them would you think well thanks for that but I don’t really need to know that or would you be whatever. Maybe I need to develop a thicker skin haha "
Actually I’d be thinking “dickhead” and binning him. |
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I would say it all depends on the context....
I (Mrs) was very upfront with J on the day we had our first date. I had told him I was heading to Cupids a swingers club and it was pre arranged before our date was planned.
We are swingers... to think other ppl aren't fucking others would be a little naive.
Perhaps they're just being honest and open with you? |
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Rude if they arranged a meet with you.. but if already planned then not really.
I've had them messages where they say "what you doing today" and you say "busy" , then get the "busy doing what" (because I'm a single mum and can't be busy all day)
And SOME(not all) see their arses because they wanted a meet today and you cannot do it..
But if not and it's either random or double booked then very rude. |
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"We were going to arrange a meet this week but I just felt to get a random text saying what they did was rather insensitive. I guess I need to toughen up and let it go "
No well that's not very nice to just randomly tell you that.. why would anyone even do that...I find that strange.. |
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"If you had planned to meet them on the same day then no you are not at all being too sensitive in my opinion.
No one likes being let down at the best of times but to be told, in essences, they would rather sleep with someone else than you is a horrible thing for anyone to be told.
If you hadn't planned a meet it was an odd message to get"
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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"Hi all, I am not sure if I’m being too sensitive but if someone was to text you telling you they are meeting someone else that day to fuck them would you think well thanks for that but I don’t really need to know that or would you be whatever. Maybe I need to develop a thicker skin haha "
It would really depend on our established dynamic with the person. If it was a situation where we had been arranging a meet and they hit us with it out of the blue -or they fobbed us off to later post a verification- it is super bad juju and instant block. |
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Depends on the context.
I’d think it’s being quite sensitive cos most on here are meeting numerous people and that’s the fun of it.
If it’s done nastily then it’s a simple no thanks. But if you’ve got upset by something that wasn’t intentionally nasty then I guess it’s down to you to see why you’re feeling that way.
I don’t get off on hearing stories, but I’d absolutely be telling them to have the best time  |
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By *ickD80Man 45 weeks ago
Wolverhampton |
What was the tone of the text message? It’s impossible to know what the senders intention and motive was from the information you’ve given us…it could have been done to make you jealous, it could have been sent because he was excited and wanted to share his excitement with you, it could have been sent to be open and honest with you prior to the meet you said you were planning, it could have been sent in a spiteful and malicious way….I’ve texted friends in the past before meeting someone as a safety precaution because I don’t want to meet a complete stranger without anyone knowing about it….but to be honest, it is a bit of a weird message to send someone he doesn’t know that well but I’m struggling to understand why you’d get upset over it….. |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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"We were going to arrange a meet this week but I just felt to get a random text saying what they did was rather insensitive. I guess I need to toughen up and let it go "
No you don't have to toughen up. If it bothers you then you're not compatible.
I wouldn't meet them and I'm a tough old trout. 
If it bothers you don't put up with it. |
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"We were going to arrange a meet this week but I just felt to get a random text saying what they did was rather insensitive. I guess I need to toughen up and let it go "
Nope to me that's mind games, trying to get a rise out of you, who ever it was they are not worth it and will continue to treat you this way...stay clear..you can do better. Xx |
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"What was the tone of the text message? It’s impossible to know what the senders intention and motive was from the information you’ve given us…it could have been done to make you jealous, it could have been sent because he was excited and wanted to share his excitement with you, it could have been sent to be open and honest with you prior to the meet you said you were planning, it could have been sent in a spiteful and malicious way….I’ve texted friends in the past before meeting someone as a safety precaution because I don’t want to meet a complete stranger without anyone knowing about it….but to be honest, it is a bit of a weird message to send someone he doesn’t know that well but I’m struggling to understand why you’d get upset over it….."
Yes what he said. Some people aren't good at knowing social etiquette. I often get it with majority of men on fab where even the intro message puts me off, like the way they speak to me is a red flag for things to come like boasting about their other conquests when you clearly don't want to hear it. Next guy you're interested in, tell him in a nice way that you don't want to hear about his sexual business with others. It maybe too off putting for some people but I rather be upfront from the start by telling them my boundaries. |
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I had something similar recently - obviously most of us will have multiple partners over the course of our time on fab, but I don't want to talk about that, I want to talk about me and that person in particular!! - Xeno |
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"Hi all, I am not sure if I’m being too sensitive but if someone was to text you telling you they are meeting someone else that day to fuck them would you think well thanks for that but I don’t really need to know that or would you be whatever. Maybe I need to develop a thicker skin haha "
I’d be upset, it’s not how I’d want to be treated. |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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I had someone get really mad and angry because I met someone else. But I didn't blow him out for it, I just had a verification. It was a last minute thing. I wouldn't have specifically messaged him to tell him about it though. It does depend on the dynamic between people. For me I was surprised at his anger about it as it's a swinging site and unless discussed otherwise people are free to do that, Messaging you to tell you is a but random, but as someone else said, they may have thought you'd find it hot and misread the situation. |
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"What was the tone of the text message? It’s impossible to know what the senders intention and motive was from the information you’ve given us…it could have been done to make you jealous, it could have been sent because he was excited and wanted to share his excitement with you, it could have been sent to be open and honest with you prior to the meet you said you were planning, it could have been sent in a spiteful and malicious way….I’ve texted friends in the past before meeting someone as a safety precaution because I don’t want to meet a complete stranger without anyone knowing about it….but to be honest, it is a bit of a weird message to send someone he doesn’t know that well but I’m struggling to understand why you’d get upset over it….."
Hi thanks for your reply. I have met this guy before and we have exchanged a lot of messages. Then I get a text saying oh I am going to use my cock on a lady today and then said to me enjoy your day. I just don’t know why he felt it necessary to tell me that, it was like he was deliberately trying to get a rise out of me. It’s interesting to find out different perspectives on it as I don’t know why I let it get to me so much |
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"What was the tone of the text message? It’s impossible to know what the senders intention and motive was from the information you’ve given us…it could have been done to make you jealous, it could have been sent because he was excited and wanted to share his excitement with you, it could have been sent to be open and honest with you prior to the meet you said you were planning, it could have been sent in a spiteful and malicious way….I’ve texted friends in the past before meeting someone as a safety precaution because I don’t want to meet a complete stranger without anyone knowing about it….but to be honest, it is a bit of a weird message to send someone he doesn’t know that well but I’m struggling to understand why you’d get upset over it…..
Hi thanks for your reply. I have met this guy before and we have exchanged a lot of messages. Then I get a text saying oh I am going to use my cock on a lady today and then said to me enjoy your day. I just don’t know why he felt it necessary to tell me that, it was like he was deliberately trying to get a rise out of me. It’s interesting to find out different perspectives on it as I don’t know why I let it get to me so much "
Why would he want a rise out of you?
If you’ve met before, and spoke often… why would he purposely be nasty when he obviously likes you enough to meet and speak too?
Seems more like he was just telling you about his day |
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"What was the tone of the text message? It’s impossible to know what the senders intention and motive was from the information you’ve given us…it could have been done to make you jealous, it could have been sent because he was excited and wanted to share his excitement with you, it could have been sent to be open and honest with you prior to the meet you said you were planning, it could have been sent in a spiteful and malicious way….I’ve texted friends in the past before meeting someone as a safety precaution because I don’t want to meet a complete stranger without anyone knowing about it….but to be honest, it is a bit of a weird message to send someone he doesn’t know that well but I’m struggling to understand why you’d get upset over it…..
Hi thanks for your reply. I have met this guy before and we have exchanged a lot of messages. Then I get a text saying oh I am going to use my cock on a lady today and then said to me enjoy your day. I just don’t know why he felt it necessary to tell me that, it was like he was deliberately trying to get a rise out of me. It’s interesting to find out different perspectives on it as I don’t know why I let it get to me so much
Why would he want a rise out of you?
If you’ve met before, and spoke often… why would he purposely be nasty when he obviously likes you enough to meet and speak too?
Seems more like he was just telling you about his day "
Thank you I think I need to just chill lol and not read so much into things |
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"What was the tone of the text message? It’s impossible to know what the senders intention and motive was from the information you’ve given us…it could have been done to make you jealous, it could have been sent because he was excited and wanted to share his excitement with you, it could have been sent to be open and honest with you prior to the meet you said you were planning, it could have been sent in a spiteful and malicious way….I’ve texted friends in the past before meeting someone as a safety precaution because I don’t want to meet a complete stranger without anyone knowing about it….but to be honest, it is a bit of a weird message to send someone he doesn’t know that well but I’m struggling to understand why you’d get upset over it…..
Hi thanks for your reply. I have met this guy before and we have exchanged a lot of messages. Then I get a text saying oh I am going to use my cock on a lady today and then said to me enjoy your day. I just don’t know why he felt it necessary to tell me that, it was like he was deliberately trying to get a rise out of me. It’s interesting to find out different perspectives on it as I don’t know why I let it get to me so much
Why would he want a rise out of you?
If you’ve met before, and spoke often… why would he purposely be nasty when he obviously likes you enough to meet and speak too?
Seems more like he was just telling you about his day
Thank you I think I need to just chill lol and not read so much into things "
Nothing worse than getting in your own head and over thinking things
Conscious decision to try and see the good in person before presuming the bad xx |
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"What was the tone of the text message? It’s impossible to know what the senders intention and motive was from the information you’ve given us…it could have been done to make you jealous, it could have been sent because he was excited and wanted to share his excitement with you, it could have been sent to be open and honest with you prior to the meet you said you were planning, it could have been sent in a spiteful and malicious way….I’ve texted friends in the past before meeting someone as a safety precaution because I don’t want to meet a complete stranger without anyone knowing about it….but to be honest, it is a bit of a weird message to send someone he doesn’t know that well but I’m struggling to understand why you’d get upset over it…..
Hi thanks for your reply. I have met this guy before and we have exchanged a lot of messages. Then I get a text saying oh I am going to use my cock on a lady today and then said to me enjoy your day. I just don’t know why he felt it necessary to tell me that, it was like he was deliberately trying to get a rise out of me. It’s interesting to find out different perspectives on it as I don’t know why I let it get to me so much
Why would he want a rise out of you?
If you’ve met before, and spoke often… why would he purposely be nasty when he obviously likes you enough to meet and speak too?
Seems more like he was just telling you about his day
Thank you I think I need to just chill lol and not read so much into things
Nothing worse than getting in your own head and over thinking things
Conscious decision to try and see the good in person before presuming the bad xx"
Thank you xxx |
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By *oxy jWoman 45 weeks ago
somerset |
if one of my regular did that to me id tell them to piss off its none of my business who they meet and when just like its none of their business what i do ... im totally not interested and to me its almost like gloating / boasting if they feel the need to do that then they are no longer for me ..
swinging is about having sex with others we all know that but as a woman i dont want to know what others are getting up to im only interested in me and hubs .... ive met guys before who run off and tell others and others message me saying whats been said instant turn off and a im deffo not meeting you again .... some people really do need to learn to be discrete |
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By *elkieWoman 45 weeks ago
Durham |
So my read on it is:
He likes you. He knows you’re looking for a regular FWB, your profile says so. He’s either testing the waters to see how you react to him being with other people - because let’s be honest, some people, even on here, aren’t ok with it - or he’s trying to build a solid FWB thing with a bit of openness and commitment.
Figure out for yourself what you want and how much you want to know then tell him that. It’s not reasonable to be cross with him for not knowing what you want though. |
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