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Private messaging

By (user no longer on site) OP 2 weeks ago

I've always found it somewhat challenging to know what to say or how to keep the conversation flowing well with people on here through private messages, but I also love to try and connect with people that way as I enjoy 1 to 1 convo's more than group convo's.

Does anyone have any suggestions or things they've found that works?

I don't want to waste anyone's time on here and I want to connect well with people, but I'm not sure what it is I'm possibly doing wrong. Could just be they either don't find me attractive, that I might not be a good conversationalist and so not interesting enough to keep the conversation engaging.

Hope this doesn't sound ranty but just wanted to get it off my chest.

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By *ucka39Man 2 weeks ago

Newcastle

Be creative within the message and it'll flow naturally and some humour it's lovely weather for it be cheeky

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By (user no longer on site) OP 2 weeks ago

"Be creative within the message and it'll flow naturally and some humour it's lovely weather for it be cheeky

Thanks for the help man.

Not sure how to be creative in the messages exactly or what that means in the context of messaging on here, but I'll try my best. x

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By *ucka39Man 2 weeks ago

Newcastle

"Be creative within the message and it'll flow naturally and some humour it's lovely weather for it be cheeky

Thanks for the help man.

Not sure how to be creative in the messages exactly or what that means in the context of messaging on here, but I'll try my best. x"

You have plenty of topics, it doesn't need to be based around sexual and a complement used correctly at the right time is manners just be yourself

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By (user no longer on site) OP 2 weeks ago

"Be creative within the message and it'll flow naturally and some humour it's lovely weather for it be cheeky

Thanks for the help man.

Not sure how to be creative in the messages exactly or what that means in the context of messaging on here, but I'll try my best. x

You have plenty of topics, it doesn't need to be based around sexual and a complement used correctly at the right time is manners just be yourself

Thanks!

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By *offandTimCouple 2 weeks ago

Glasgow

For us, one of our biggest put offs is a one liner along the lines of "how are you?".

An ideal message for us is firstly one that appreciates you realise you're chatting with a couple, tells us a wee bit about you and what you're looking for, and what attracted you to our profile.

That, coupled with a decent well written profile sets you off on the right foot.

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By *lternative_guyMan 2 weeks ago

Belfast

Yup be creative and as light humoured as you can, have fun. I find private messaging should lead to a social pretty quick so longevity shouldn't really be an issue.

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By *bxanfCouple 2 weeks ago

Bilston / Dudley / Anor Londo

Keep it light hearted, try and stand out with your opening. The majority we get say "hey" or "How are you".

Don't send a picture of your dick (unless requested) and don't get sexual with the messages.

Be prepared to have your message ignored or be blocked regardless, it is gonna happen and you need to be ready to accept that it happens here.

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By *nytime2023Couple 2 weeks ago

Gloucestershire

Something we will always respond to is a message that references something in our profile (clubs/events we attend, are past experiences etc) It shows us that the person has actually tailored a message to us and not just a copy and paste job. One liners get ignored by the vast majority. V&K xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP 2 weeks ago

Thank you for all you're informative responses so far fabsters. x

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By *ounmacCouple 2 weeks ago

Market Harborough

The best message is one that shows you have done more than just looked at pics or what are you looking for here is our example on ours to you.

Morning wildphoenix

Hope you are well and had a good weekend. I have had a read of your profile and think we might be looking for the same thing. We also love to be outside walking our favourite is along rivers and canals something about the water seems calming and relaxing. So glad you enjoy doing socials so do we. what’s the ideal location for you to have a social? I think our strangest social we played bingo that is a whole other story happy to elaborate if you want to hear more :p.

Any way i don’t want to bore you with an opening message.if you have a read of our profile and would like to see if there is a mutual connection drop us a message.

Lounmac

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By (user no longer on site) OP 2 weeks ago

"The best message is one that shows you have done more than just looked at pics or what are you looking for here is our example on ours to you.

Morning wildphoenix

Any way i don’t want to bore you with an opening message.if you have a read of our profile and would like to see if there is a mutual connection drop us a message.

Lounmac"

Wow! Okay, I really do need to work on my messaging skills. Mine are definitely more primitive in comparison with this hahaha.

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By *ounmacCouple 2 weeks ago

Market Harborough

"The best message is one that shows you have done more than just looked at pics or what are you looking for here is our example on ours to you.

Morning wildphoenix

Any way i don’t want to bore you with an opening message.if you have a read of our profile and would like to see if there is a mutual connection drop us a message.

Lounmac

Wow! Okay, I really do need to work on my messaging skills. Mine are definitely more primitive in comparison with this hahaha."

Honestly if you want a reply put some effort in the info is there in the profile just extract it

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By (user no longer on site) OP 2 weeks ago

"The best message is one that shows you have done more than just looked at pics or what are you looking for here is our example on ours to you.

Morning wildphoenix

Any way i don’t want to bore you with an opening message.if you have a read of our profile and would like to see if there is a mutual connection drop us a message.

Lounmac

Wow! Okay, I really do need to work on my messaging skills. Mine are definitely more primitive in comparison with this hahaha.

Honestly if you want a reply put some effort in the info is there in the profile just extract it"

I hear you. It's not so much about putting the effort in for me. I'm always happy to write stuff up in a message, I just find it difficult to know what to put in a message to make it interesting and engaging, but you've shown how to do that as perfectly as someone can.

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By *r SensualMan 2 weeks ago

London

Always ask open questions… never ones where someone can respond with a yes or no. E.g What, where, who, when and why.

Those are guaranteed to keep a conversation going most of the time I’ve found

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By *ames250122Man 2 weeks ago

Worcester

"I've always found it somewhat challenging to know what to say or how to keep the conversation flowing well with people on here through private messages, but I also love to try and connect with people that way as I enjoy 1 to 1 convo's more than group convo's.

Does anyone have any suggestions or things they've found that works?

Hope this doesn't sound ranty but just wanted to get it off my chest."

I know what you mean about trying to keep a conversation going after such a positive start to things. There no tricks, suggestions or anything else though to give to remedy the problem. In short, your not doing anything wrong as long as your being yourself, not over eager or coming across as desperate.

I think as guys we sometimes get so use to chasing we forget to get out of that mind set after starting to chat. We labour to carry the conversation and keep things going and miss the fact that once you start chatting, you’ve both acknowledged an interest in the other. It’s not on you anymore to do all the work, carry the conversation, pull a rabbit out of the hat that reignites their interest. It’s a two way thing at this point, they (if genuinely interested and not time wasting) will also put effort into evolving the conversation further. Recognising that shift in dynamics is key because if things phase out or they seem to lose interest you recognise, ok tried it wasn’t a match ultimately, it happens and will happen more often then matching. I didn’t do anything wrong or not do something I should have etc and move on without those nagging questions.

Where in the chase mindset, your so focused on trying to be the guy for them you miss the signs that maybe they weren’t all that invested to begin with as one example.

However relinquishing that responsibility and mindset of chasing and you chatted a bit, unless you was rude or disrespectful, you know it’s just a simple case of it’s ran it course and would have done the same if you tried it a hundred other ways. It’s nothing you’ve done wrong, you chatted, they made a choice and believe me there are so many more reason that have nothing to do with anything you did or is a reflection on you for it happening. Just be patient and once chatting, see that it’s a two way invested interest in chatting

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By *atnip make me purrWoman 2 weeks ago

Reading

I find if there is a connection it just flows.

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By *rpeggioCouple 2 weeks ago

Baughurst

"Always ask open questions… never ones where someone can respond with a yes or no. E.g What, where, who, when and why.

Those are guaranteed to keep a conversation going most of the time I’ve found "

This... And respond to questions. Couples that ask questions of us but ignore or dodge our questions don't last more than the next message. It's bad manners (if they don't want to reveal info is fine but at least say so) and make us feel the couple is fake, hiding stuff or has little to say.

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