FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > New and struggling
New and struggling
Jump to: Newest in thread
"No but unless yij are six foot six pack with a six figure salary your like pretty much every guy here.
"
That is very much not true. But if you could point me to those 6 foot six figure salary guys, that would be great! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
OP, it's not easy to stand out here as a single guy as this site is full to the brim with them (some not actually single but that's a different story). Therefore, I'd suggest making sure your profile states exactly what you can bring to the party and why they should choose you instead of thousands of other guys. As most people check the profile first, usually in ninja mode, not showing on "who looked at me" page - it prevents messages like "you looked at me, wanna fuck?" or similar, allows us to perve in peace.
When you send messages (if you do), do you cast a wide net by using copy and paste message sent to loads of profiles? Or do you actually read profiles and tailor your messages?
Also, have you tried "going out there" in the big wild world of swinging? It doesn't have to be a club, but organised socials are a good way of meeting people. There are some that are being run regularly and attract quite a crowd. Also, a lot of them have chat groups set up beforehand, so you can get to know people before the social. They are usually either free or a small contribution is required, but spaces for single men are normally limited so it's good to get there early.
Last but not least - I think your age range might be limiting your options, too.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"But from what I see, lots of guys get meets. Or is it not as often as it looks"
Have a closer look on profiles of men who, according to you, get meets. I bet at least some of the meets are from clubs or organised socials, not just purely through Fab. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hey so I have been on this site 3 times now and still haven't met anyone and hardly spoken. Am I doing something wrong, am I not attractive or am I fighting a losing battle? "
It's like any site these days .... Lots of bodies to choose from,and to some extent it is as has already been said like a lottery.
You have to be prepared to stick it out and eventually things happen ...
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hey so I have been on this site 3 times now and still haven't met anyone and hardly spoken. Am I doing something wrong, am I not attractive or am I fighting a losing battle? "
You're not fighting any battle at all....your profile isn't anything to shout about and your pics aren't helping. It's not that guys don't get meets (hell, look at our verifications) it's just that there's SO many, and very few couples or women meet more than a few times each month.
You've got to stand out and make yourself a good choice....and that's NOT about being the 6'6"10" rich guy that most bitter guys think we're only interested in.
On a plus side...what we can see of your face looks nice. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site) 15 weeks ago
|
"Hey so I have been on this site 3 times now and still haven't met anyone and hardly spoken. Am I doing something wrong, am I not attractive or am I fighting a losing battle? "
On here there is absolutely tons of single guys, some do very well, some do ok, others do nothing.
It's extremely easy to see the guys who make an effort with their profile , approach and their pics then there's the guys who whack their cock out over a toilet bowl and cry because they can't get a response.
Basically your profile needs to stand out, good pics, good bio, get along to some organised socials or clubs (yes I know it's effort but still) it makes a lot of difference.
If you want to meet people approach them like people not a cum bucket like many do on here.
Good luck op. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 15 weeks ago
|
The Main thing Chap is persevere..
As said before on Many threads, There's a lot of us Single Guys on here , Some genuine Singles, Others not, Some make an effort, Others don't ..
As said before, Clearer (Closer) Pics, a bit of info in what You bring to the Table/Bed/Wherever, Don't focus on Negatives (Unless it's Test results lol) and when You message someone , make it relevant to them, not a cut'n'paste message..
Also look at Organised Socials and Clubs, good way to build a network up and see what happens - I wish You luck |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *end1Man 15 weeks ago
southend on sea |
"Would could be better about my pics? I have updated my profile in the last half an hour so what could be better?"
OP first listen to the advice from the ladies. Second you sound quite negative which is not attractive. And third your profile sounds more suited to a dating site.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Would could be better about my pics? I have updated my profile in the last half an hour so what could be better?"
Look at the background. Untidy rooms are not good or clutter. They are not flattering |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hey so I have been on this site 3 times now and still haven't met anyone and hardly spoken. Am I doing something wrong, am I not attractive or am I fighting a losing battle? "
As a single guy you are outnumbered on here and your profile is your shop window
Having taken a look..
It doesn't stand out
The pictures are meh nothing really exciting just snap shots
Apart from what you do in your free time I have no idea what you bring to the table and why you are a better bet than the next ten messages in my inbox ( though I'm outside your age range )
But you get the idea
Get looking for a local organised social event
Look at local clubs that are having newbies nights
Get a thick skin
Learn patience |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 15 weeks ago
|
"Would could be better about my pics? I have updated my profile in the last half an hour so what could be better?"
Backgrounds, you can get a good full body pic without doing it in a mirror, hand up high and lay down, or do it in the shower hand over cock other taking the pic, there's a few guys with great pics on here you should have a look.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 15 weeks ago
|
your one of many and by many i mean men outnumber women and couples by huge percentages no just on fab but the scene as a whole most men for many reason will get no where on this lifestyle scene..
its a scene where quite simply their is not NOT someone for everyone not in the slightest
sexual attraction physical attraction is needed along with compatibility and this is where women and couples struggle yes theres plenty of men on here but finding the right one or few in a nightmare at times ...
so its up to you to sell you but also get out there with clubs and socials even tho they wony guarantee anything it gets you notice at least ... deffo agree with the grow some thick skin because as a guy you will get lots of rejection ..
the scene is bloody hard for men some not but most hard infact most will never get a meet simply because on the overwhelming number of men and thats before any attraction of sorts |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hey so I have been on this site 3 times now and still haven't met anyone and hardly spoken. Am I doing something wrong, am I not attractive or am I fighting a losing battle? "
Fab is like going fishing. It's a percentage game. Be patient and keep trying. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hey so I have been on this site 3 times now and still haven't met anyone and hardly spoken. Am I doing something wrong, am I not attractive or am I fighting a losing battle? "
Keep on trying and you never know it might happen. Don’t expect anyone to meet you as I find that best. It has taken me over a year of chats in some cases to meet some people from here. It was well worth the wait. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ucka39Man 15 weeks ago
Newcastle |
Hiya op
The best advice I can give you is browse other profiles see how they've created their own bio for ideas then create something that fits ideally around you. Others need to find something that not only interests them but maybe want to also explore keep your options open |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’m the same, can’t get verified either, so if any lady, or couple wish to face chat / cam to help a guy out, would be much appreciated
Thanks "
So who is the lady in your picture? Can she not verify you? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Because it's honest? I'm not great at seeing my positives. And I don't want to disappoint people with who i am/ what I look like
You should allow people to make their own mind up about you. "
Is there any chance that we could talk? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’m the same, can’t get verified either, so if any lady, or couple wish to face chat / cam to help a guy out, would be much appreciated
Thanks "
Anything but meet verifications are pointless...they just show you might look like your pics. In person verifications show you actually leave the house to meet people. Organised socials or clubs, don't need to be play meets. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 15 weeks ago
|
My meets (and current chats) are coming from people messaging me. I don’t really bother sending out first messages, most of the time they’re left on yellow.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hey so I have been on this site 3 times now and still haven't met anyone and hardly spoken. Am I doing something wrong, am I not attractive or am I fighting a losing battle? "
op it would help if you didn’t hide your profile
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Honest answer? - for a good looking guy your pictures are terrible and your profile is unappealing.
Contrary to certain people's opinions, it's not to do with looking like a male model, it's to do with how much effort you put in to stand out.
How long did it take you to get those pictures together? 10 mins? How long to write that profile? 5 mins?
99% of guys on this site have accounts that scream "I want to get laid but don't want to put any effort in at all". Unsurprisingly they are the ones with zero meets.
Take some time to put together a really appealing profile, work on your approach (NEVER start with: Hey!) and see if you don't get a lot more engagement. It's still a lottery but you can make the odds far better. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"No but unless yij are six foot six pack with a six figure salary your like pretty much every guy here.
"
They don't exist! The guys in the scene we know who are having the most fun probably don't even tick one of those off! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"No but unless yij are six foot six pack with a six figure salary your like pretty much every guy here.
"
Definitely not the case 
I'm not a fan of the body builder physique and height isn't a factor.
I do value humour, courtesy and positivity. Good literacy is also a bonus. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It's best to have realistic expectations, for your wellbeing as a single man.
People won't chat, if you've not given them materials that indicate that you're mutually compatible. It would lead to a dead end. It's not about good looks, right cock etc - it's personality, preferences etc. learn what you can to optimise how you sell yourself, from forum post tips. Socials and clubs will get you meeting people.
Take a long hard look at what you present here - is it all giving the best of what a prospective partner would need? Pics, really good; text showing your talents and preferences etc.  . Just remind yourself that 99% of people will never be mutually compatible. It's not a failure to be in the majority |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
