FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > What kind of messages pique your interest?
What kind of messages pique your interest?
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I understand a lot of people on Fab are inundated with messages and can’t answer them all or they maybe look at my profile and aren’t interested which is obviously fair.
I’m just wondering what people want to see in messages that pique their interests. What kind of thing said to you or what kind of questions do you like to see that makes you interested in replying?
I don’t send “hey” messages or simple “how are you?” ones and try to ask questions or gauge interest but I don’t feel great at speaking to people online so it’s a tough approach for me.
Any advice would be really helpful |
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"Relaxed and friendly. Something which demonstrates you've read our profile, and what about us appeals to you.
Bonus for making us smile or giggle."
This! It's very important that the message shows you've read the profile, with understanding. Not "I read your profile, I know you're not meeting, but I'd love to meet you" or similar crap. People chose to put certain information on their profiles for a reason and ignoring that information, or pushing for them to make an exception, is the easiest way to at least get ignored, or even end up on their block list. |
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"Relaxed and friendly. Something which demonstrates you've read our profile, and what about us appeals to you.
Bonus for making us smile or giggle."
Very important that it indicates that whoever has sent the message has read my profile, sadly 95% have not |
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"Relaxed and friendly. Something which demonstrates you've read our profile, and what about us appeals to you.
Bonus for making us smile or giggle.
Very important that it indicates that whoever has sent the message has read my profile, sadly 95% have not "
Of the 20 messages do far this morning none have read my profile and only one had more than 5 words in it, 3 had cock pics attached
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By *sm265Woman 20 weeks ago
Perthshire |
Be respectful. Show that they have read and understood my profile. Consider, honestly, whether we have interests in common and whether they think they match what I am looking for.
Humour and intelligence are something I find really attractive and engaging, unfortunately messages demonstrating those traits are as rare as rocking horse shit  |
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"Relaxed and friendly. Something which demonstrates you've read our profile, and what about us appeals to you.
Bonus for making us smile or giggle."
Yep, this. If anyone messages us and all they do is tell us what they want to do to the Mrs gets deleted. |
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The message has to reflect how they would sound standing in front of you, face to face.
Trying to act intellectually superior is a total turn off as is a short statement type of message.
Not reading a profile and on site for 12 months and no meet shows laziness.
Shit photos and a zero effort profile, no thanks.
If profile seems good a quick check on their forum posts, that's usually a great litmus test.
Tend to use other sites for 121 meets as this one has far too many timewasters. |
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By *aandLoCouple 20 weeks ago
Southampton |
"Relaxed and friendly. Something which demonstrates you've read our profile, and what about us appeals to you.
Bonus for making us smile or giggle.
Very important that it indicates that whoever has sent the message has read my profile, sadly 95% have not
Of the 20 messages do far this morning none have read my profile and only one had more than 5 words in it, 3 had cock pics attached
"
So frustrating isn't it?
It's like they think we're just lying here desperately waiting for someone to come and fuck us, and anyone will do.
No doubt they're lying there wondering why no one is replying.... |
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"The message has to reflect how they would sound standing in front of you, face to face.
Trying to act intellectually superior is a total turn off as is a short statement type of message.
Not reading a profile and on site for 12 months and no meet shows laziness.
Shit photos and a zero effort profile, no thanks.
If profile seems good a quick check on their forum posts, that's usually a great litmus test.
Tend to use other sites for 121 meets as this one has far too many timewasters."
This also brings up an interesting point: What makes a good profile picture?
I’ve seen people say they won’t talk to anyone whose picture is just of a cock (fair) and then others who want to see that. It’s also hard because a lot of people don’t want to or can’t show their faces in pics here.
It just feels like a minefield on Fab sometimes and I just want to get a clearer picture of how people reach out and what appeals to people the most. |
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By (user no longer on site) 20 weeks ago
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"Relaxed and friendly. Something which demonstrates you've read our profile, and what about us appeals to you.
Bonus for making us smile or giggle.
This! It's very important that the message shows you've read the profile, with understanding. Not "I read your profile, I know you're not meeting, but I'd love to meet you" or similar crap. People chose to put certain information on their profiles for a reason and ignoring that information, or pushing for them to make an exception, is the easiest way to at least get ignored, or even end up on their block list. "
I sent you a nice message and you blocked me 😅😅😅 |
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"This also brings up an interesting point: What makes a good profile picture?
I’ve seen people say they won’t talk to anyone whose picture is just of a cock (fair) and then others who want to see that. It’s also hard because a lot of people don’t want to or can’t show their faces in pics here. "
There's a world of difference between a profile pic and a pic in a public gallery. Nothing wrong with having a tasteful pic or two that includes a dick in your gallery, but it shouldn't be a profile pic as that's what shows first in someone's inbox.
It's quite insulting to think that guys think that we base our decisions on who to meet based purely on their dick. But it's a good filter for for us. |
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By (user no longer on site) 19 weeks ago
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I’m no expert here as I don’t get replies, ok I’ve had 1. I read ever profile I look at and decide if they would be interested in me and to understand the girl better. Hasn’t worked mind you, so it’s not the words, it’s pictures obviously |
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"....it’s not the words, it’s pictures obviously "
Let's be realistic - it's a combination of the two. There needs to be a physical attraction but that can be negated by a feeling that we wouldn't get on and that's often what we get from the message.
Just being our type isn't enough, and having a great message/profile isn't enough. It's a combination of the two. |
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Messages that address us both.
Messages with a clear assertive purpose.
Messages that include humour and wit.
Messages that are spelt correctly and include punctuation.
Messages that include a face picture.
Finally, messages where the author highlights what experience he/they can offer us or what specific thing they are looking for from us.
Without exaggeration, sometimes the messages sent from men are so banal, inane and boring that it really impacts my wellbeing. This week's TOT was an example. I was so torn because i wanted to reply to them all (being very conscious of all the men in the Forum saying how hard it is not to get replys) but the amount of drivel we were sent was ridiculous. I had to take a break in the end and then just deleted the remainder of the nessages.
Mrs DD |
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I would say the message, the profile pick and the profile go very much hand in hand. So to some extent if any of those other elements are lacking then to some extent the introduction message becomes irrelevant.
However let's assume a good profile (which is obviously objective) and a good profile picture. Then as opening message it has to be a little bit of you. Keep it very short and sweet. It's basically a hello and look at my profile please. Something lighthearted that shows a little character. |
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By (user no longer on site) 19 weeks ago
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"
There's a world of difference between a profile pic and a pic in a public gallery. Nothing wrong with having a tasteful pic or two that includes a dick in your gallery, but it shouldn't be a profile pic as that's what shows first in someone's inbox.
It's quite insulting to think that guys think that we base our decisions on who to meet based purely on their dick. But it's a good filter for for us."
100% agree with this. My profile is perfectly clear that I don’t welcome unsolicited photos in my inbox, but people forget that their profile photo shows up in the inbox. 
As for messages that are welcome - wit, something that makes me have to think before I answer, and something that shows they’ve read my profile and can say why they think we might find a connection. I’d rather people be curious about me as a person than compliment my photos.  |
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"I understand a lot of people on Fab are inundated with messages and can’t answer them all or they maybe look at my profile and aren’t interested which is obviously fair.
I’m just wondering what people want to see in messages that pique their interests. What kind of thing said to you or what kind of questions do you like to see that makes you interested in replying?
I don’t send “hey” messages or simple “how are you?” ones and try to ask questions or gauge interest but I don’t feel great at speaking to people online so it’s a tough approach for me.
Any advice would be really helpful"
If someone makes an effort and you can tell it’s not a cut and paste message and they’ve actually read your profile then we will always respond, even if it’s to say no thank you.
I would say show you’ve made an effort and add a face pic.
Short messages or how are you type messages get deleted without being looked at |
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"
There's a world of difference between a profile pic and a pic in a public gallery. Nothing wrong with having a tasteful pic or two that includes a dick in your gallery, but it shouldn't be a profile pic as that's what shows first in someone's inbox.
It's quite insulting to think that guys think that we base our decisions on who to meet based purely on their dick. But it's a good filter for for us.
100% agree with this. My profile is perfectly clear that I don’t welcome unsolicited photos in my inbox, but people forget that their profile photo shows up in the inbox.
As for messages that are welcome - wit, something that makes me have to think before I answer, and something that shows they’ve read my profile and can say why they think we might find a connection. I’d rather people be curious about me as a person than compliment my photos. "
Me too!  |
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For Tink, messages with boobs, boobs always win.
For both of us, messages that are coherent, not generic cut n paste and that have read our profile and have an idea of who and what we're looking for and think we might be a good fit, and more boobs of course  |
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prefer messages that have some thought to them, not just a few words.
Always nice to see our profile has been read and understood, so many guys just want just the female to themselves, for instance, and thats NEVER going to happen.
Good to learn something about the person who wants to connect with us, we are more into personality than looks, and expect a level of open communication to show that.
similar interests are helpful, in our case we like music, motorbikes and boats, travel, good food etc... but not always so important, just good to have starting points to chat about.
Better than the short, detail missing messages from blank profiles which we bin off straight away without a moments thought. |
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"Relaxed and friendly. Something which demonstrates you've read our profile, and what about us appeals to you.
Bonus for making us smile or giggle.
This! It's very important that the message shows you've read the profile, with understanding. Not "I read your profile, I know you're not meeting, but I'd love to meet you" or similar crap. People chose to put certain information on their profiles for a reason and ignoring that information, or pushing for them to make an exception, is the easiest way to at least get ignored, or even end up on their block list. "
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"Relaxed and friendly. Something which demonstrates you've read our profile, and what about us appeals to you.
Bonus for making us smile or giggle."
This totally. Was messaging a couple a few days back, and the lady asked if she could suck me after id cum, and then lick wifes pussy. Our profile clearly stated we are only watch/watched couple with gentle touching |
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"The message has to reflect how they would sound standing in front of you, face to face.
Trying to act intellectually superior is a total turn off as is a short statement type of message.
Not reading a profile and on site for 12 months and no meet shows laziness.
Shit photos and a zero effort profile, no thanks.
If profile seems good a quick check on their forum posts, that's usually a great litmus test.
Tend to use other sites for 121 meets as this one has far too many timewasters.
This also brings up an interesting point: What makes a good profile picture?
I’ve seen people say they won’t talk to anyone whose picture is just of a cock (fair) and then others who want to see that. It’s also hard because a lot of people don’t want to or can’t show their faces in pics here.
It just feels like a minefield on Fab sometimes and I just want to get a clearer picture of how people reach out and what appeals to people the most. "
Something that has taken a bit of effort.
Just a tiny bit more than a cock shot in a bathroom mirror or sitting on the toilet.
For us, if folks can't make a tiny bit of effort on a photo, what else can't they be bothered about.
Think you will find its just about everything in their lives.
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By (user no longer on site) 18 weeks ago
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A fine balance between not too short or waffling. A nice well articulated message should suffice.
Mind you, I’ve only ever had 3 messages, no responses from mine though. I write for a living so I’m obviously not what people want.
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As a bare minimum have a face picture. What have you got to hide? Oh and dont say a very important job as an excuse. If anyone recognise someone on here and says something ask them why are they looking at fab themselves. |
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I agree an interesting well structured message stands a lot better chance that a blank message and a dick pic, but let's be honest it's a numbers game. There are so many guys spamming women and couples even the world's best message often gets overlooked or part of a mass delete.
Polite persistence can help. Never let your frustration show |
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It is tough and it was interesting reading the responses from people.
However the reality is some people just get so many messages. I have messages unopened for over a week and I know the person is online. I appreciate they are just inundated.
Unfortunately they can also afford to be ultra picky and if you have not attached a picture that interests them and said all the right things then you probably won't get a reply.
Don't take it personally it's not a reflection on you, it's just the nature of the site.
And for the recepitant of the message they are just trying to find the right match for them out of the multitude if daily messages they get. |
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By *aughty50sCouple 15 weeks ago
Yorkshire - but we travel a lot |
"Relaxed and friendly. Something which demonstrates you've read our profile, and what about us appeals to you.
Bonus for making us smile or giggle."
This. Plus the ability to spell words like "pique"! |
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"I understand a lot of people on Fab are inundated with messages and can’t answer them all or they maybe look at my profile and aren’t interested which is obviously fair.
I’m just wondering what people want to see in messages that pique their interests. What kind of thing said to you or what kind of questions do you like to see that makes you interested in replying?
I don’t send “hey” messages or simple “how are you?” ones and try to ask questions or gauge interest but I don’t feel great at speaking to people online so it’s a tough approach for me.
Any advice would be really helpful"
Ones where it’s clear they have taken the effort to read our profile |
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"Relaxed and friendly. Something which demonstrates you've read our profile, and what about us appeals to you.
Bonus for making us smile or giggle.
This! It's very important that the message shows you've read the profile, with understanding. Not "I read your profile, I know you're not meeting, but I'd love to meet you" or similar crap. People chose to put certain information on their profiles for a reason and ignoring that information, or pushing for them to make an exception, is the easiest way to at least get ignored, or even end up on their block list. "
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We always look at the username and profile first. If it's somebody we would play with we read the message.
Tbh the contents of the message aren't important as lot as it doesn't contain any red flags. |
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Something friendly and respectful that indicates they’ve read my profile. Even a little coy is cute.
If you send just “hi” or fantasy push or say something degrading and overtly crass then you’ve got on the wrong foot.
Is it really that hard to speak to a woman like she’s a person? |
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But I must again impress on anyone sending a message that you are NOT owed a reply.
Please don’t craft a message and then get pissy if they don’t reply. You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea and you’re more like to not be. That’s just logic. |
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"But I must again impress on anyone sending a message that you are NOT owed a reply.
Please don’t craft a message and then get pissy if they don’t reply. You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea and you’re more like to not be. That’s just logic. "
•
Duly noted. That also goes the other way around, irrespective of a bespoke, handcrafted message. |
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