FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Bringing my girlfriend into the scene.
Bringing my girlfriend into the scene.
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"It's early days but I'm interested in bringing my significant other into swinging. Obviously it's communication, conversation and consent but if anyone has any other tips I'm all ears. "
The only other tips I have are honesty and respect, the things you mention cover everything else but if honesty and respect are missing things quickly go wrong for at least one person |
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By *aandLoCouple 8 weeks ago
Southampton |
"Take her to Cap D'Adge
I've got a trip booked and I've already mentioned it. She hasn't said no yet. "
So, to put it bluntly she knows you'll be fucking other people? She sounds pretty open-minded if that's the case, but that doesn't guarantee she would want to be part of it.
Do you enjoy the social aspect of swinging? Would she enjoy that aspect? If so I think it's worth emphasizing as it was a really pleasant suprise to us when we stepped onto the scene.
If you value the relationship enough perhaps tell her if she wants traditional monogamy you'd step back from the scene, but you'd like to talk about it, and for her to understand it. |
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By (user no longer on site) 8 weeks ago
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"Take her to Cap D'Adge
I've got a trip booked and I've already mentioned it. She hasn't said no yet.
So, to put it bluntly she knows you'll be fucking other people? She sounds pretty open-minded if that's the case, but that doesn't guarantee she would want to be part of it.
Do you enjoy the social aspect of swinging? Would she enjoy that aspect? If so I think it's worth emphasizing as it was a really pleasant suprise to us when we stepped onto the scene.
If you value the relationship enough perhaps tell her if she wants traditional monogamy you'd step back from the scene, but you'd like to talk about it, and for her to understand it."
Cap D'age is a naturist resort! |
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By *WB85Man 8 weeks ago
Staffordshire |
I have a couples profile so here's my advice.
Set up a couples account and set filters so single men cant message. As if she sees the messages and pictures she will likely run a mile.
Superb advice from my solo account, but its true. |
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Why do threads like this always get inundated with people slagging off the OP for even considering introducing a romantic partner to swinging?
I accept there are lots of fantasists, but this guy has a history in the lifestyle so he knows what he's getting into. |
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There a number of websites/apps where you both separately do a Q&A on loads of different kinks
When you both put Yes its shows up to both of you but only if you both do. So if you put yes swinging and she doesn't she won't ever know you put yes.
Had fun doing this before and it's prompts some great conversations as well |
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op only you know your partner and no advice will suit you ...its down to yourselfs do your homework together seek together its your rules nobody else's and remember no is no weather thats you and your partner or others ...
as a couple the fun bit is finding out together the moment it becomes one sided its all down hill from there dont becouse male lead keep it joint and trust me you have a fantastic duve into the lifestyle ..
only tip/advice i would give is never put all your eggs in one basket there is more than on line try clubs try dogging try and make good friend that get you on the private scene (way bigger than clubs)and you know what there is another bit of advice its ok not to like things after all its about you two nobody else..
me n hubs have been on this scene 35+++ years the reason it works is because there are no secrets and we are very open with each other hence a very strong marriage ... good luck op x |
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By *essTTWoman 8 weeks ago
Birmingham |
"It's early days but I'm interested in bringing my significant other into swinging. Obviously it's communication, conversation and consent but if anyone has any other tips I'm all ears. "
Think you may have failed at the first hurdle |
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"Why do threads like this always get inundated with people slagging off the OP for even considering introducing a romantic partner to swinging?
I accept there are lots of fantasists, but this guy has a history in the lifestyle so he knows what he's getting into. "
Because he has a profile and she doesnt know about it? pretty obvious dude |
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By (user no longer on site) 8 weeks ago
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"It's early days but I'm interested in bringing my significant other into swinging. Obviously it's communication, conversation and consent but if anyone has any other tips I'm all ears.
Think you may have failed at the first hurdle "
Heh ? |
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"I have a couples profile so here's my advice.
Set up a couples account and set filters so single men cant message. As if she sees the messages and pictures she will likely run a mile.
Superb advice from my solo account, but its true. "
Thanks dude I like it! |
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"
So, to put it bluntly she knows you'll be fucking other people? She sounds pretty open-minded if that's the case, but that doesn't guarantee she would want to be part of it.
Do you enjoy the social aspect of swinging? Would she enjoy that aspect? If so I think it's worth emphasizing as it was a really pleasant suprise to us when we stepped onto the scene.
If you value the relationship enough perhaps tell her if she wants traditional monogamy you'd step back from the scene, but you'd like to talk about it, and for her to understand it."
I think that you're right with the social aspect. Meeting other people and chatting openly about sex and swinging. going full bore into an orgy might intimidated her. Thanks. |
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By *sm265Woman 7 weeks ago
Perthshire |
If, as you say, she is aware of you having a profile on here and is ok with it, then just have and open and honest conversation with her. Like you say, effective communication is vitally important for couples in this lifestyle, so start with a straightforward conversation on the subject and see what she says.
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If she knows you are on here and more importantly supports the fact you sleep with others then that’s a good start.
Ask her if she likes the idea of playing with others, if she says no then keep it as it is, if she says yes or she’s willing to give it a think then happy days.
Personally I would have thought when you had the initial conversation about you being here that would have prompted her to give you her thoughts on the scene or what it could look like for you both etc but everyone approaches things differently.
Bottom line communication is key, good luck OP 
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I really think just invite her to a club on an observer basis. Clubs are really good social spaces. In fact we've encountered monogamous couples before who just like the Naughty atmosphere and the facilities to enjoy themselves in (and maybe watched too). Let her know you can go without swinging. Just to watch, that's all, no pressure.
This way it let's her into your world. See what it's about. Maybe to talk to others and see how they share things through their eyes. If nothing more it helps her understand more about you and the appeal of this world to you. Let's her see it's not seedy, it's safe and we're all just normal people. Maybe that'll be where she leaves it. Maybe it'll strike a little spark inside her to be a bit more daring with you. Maybe it'll plant a seed that'll slowly grow. Maybe she'll fully immerse herself that very night.
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"I tried to introduce my wife to the scene . We made a joint profile but was bombarded from guys all over the country ! So many dickheads on here ! She told me to close the account ."
Yeah, this was my experience too when I was on here with my ex. It’s a real eye-opener to the utter wankers on here, and the sort of grief that women are expected to put up with. |
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Take it slow and ensure she is happy with every step. My fuck buddy Julia is in the same position slowly warming up to mmf gruesome and moresomes - she loves having sex outdoors (mainly at the beach / sand dunes) and we have had a couple of chance meetings when she has been attracted to guys watching us having sex - she then takes the lead and invites them to join in |
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By *CExeCouple 6 weeks ago
Hong-Kong/Exeter |
Is your gf French? If so, she's likely to be far more open minded about sex in my experience. Chels and I both knew we were filthy when we met, and swinging seemed like a natural progression after some bedroom chatting. Good luck. |
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This all started when I asked if I was her biggest. She paused then said no, her ex was massive
So i said I'd love to watch her stretched and lick her after
She couldn't get her hand round it, said it was as thick as a redbull can, made her bleed every time
So I said I'd love to be under you in the 69 holding g her cheeks open so he could slide in her
Now we chat on message but on messenger I message as another guy
We arrange meets and we go home, when I've cum in her she makes me get dressed. I go outside and have a cig. Then come in as her husband. She opens her legs and says she's been a dirty girl and makes me lick her clean while she tells me about taking cock |
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From experience i first talked to my wife now girlfriend then about fetishes etc and the conversation led to swinging. She didnt seem too interested in the swinging part but wasnt against it either.
After a while of exploring a number of fetishes i showed her my profile and encouraged her to try creating a couples profile to explore this with me.
Unfortunately although we had a number of great conversations and made some nice friends online, when it came to meetings in person she wasnt too keen. So we decided to close the couples profile.
Swinging isnt on the list anymore but fingers crossed she has a change of mind one day lol
Best of luck to you! |
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By *tag421Man 5 weeks ago
Wakefield |
In the same position, been over two years, when I first bought it up she wasn’t keen. Now she’s the one bringing it up in bed. In the moment she’s all for it. When I ask her during the day she neither confirms or denies it which has left me confused. On a few occasions she has expressed that I just book something and make it happen..
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"Is your gf French? If so, she's likely to be far more open minded about sex in my experience. Chels and I both knew we were filthy when we met, and swinging seemed like a natural progression after some bedroom chatting. Good luck."
Spanish/Catalan, I'm English/french and yes I'm thinking that she's quite open minded. I stopped into the sex warehouse just over the border to get her a little something for the weekend and they're buying sex toys by the pallet! It's the nudist beaches for us both once the weather warms up a little and I think it's a winner winner pollo dinner. |
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My girlfriend is very keen, but I need some advice on how to take our first steps as a couple … I love her dearly and I have not had any meets on here since I met her, and I would love to explore the couple dynamic in a way that feels safe for both of us. |
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"My girlfriend is very keen, but I need some advice on how to take our first steps as a couple … I love her dearly and I have not had any meets on here since I met her, and I would love to explore the couple dynamic in a way that feels safe for both of us. "
The first step to exploring as a couple is to start a couples profile. Immediately set mail filters so that nobody can message you and then take a look around together while discussing exactly what each of you would like to experience and reaching an agreement that suits you both. |
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