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ended before its begun
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what is actualy happening with fab ? we have been here many many years and in the last few years meets have gotten less and less (not for the lack of trying) despite more and more people joining , surely there has to be someothign done about all the pic collectors and wanking dead etc etc etc
surely we cannot be alone here as see so many people posting similar things related to the same sort of topics .
before anyone says "try a club " we have done and its just not our thing as we feel we dont fit in as its very cliquey
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As you get more experienced it's easy to collect more and more red flags that you recognise, and to be less excited about every opportunity.
I'm not saying that that's true for you, but for some people swinging is just a phase. |
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"As you get more experienced it's easy to collect more and more red flags that you recognise, and to be less excited about every opportunity.
I'm not saying that that's true for you, but for some people swinging is just a phase. "
well if thats the case can people that are in a phase please hurry up and give up so the genuine ones can get back to normal service please |
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By *izzy.Woman 4 weeks ago
Stoke area |
"what is actualy happening with fab ? we have been here many many years and in the last few years meets have gotten less and less (not for the lack of trying) despite more and more people joining , surely there has to be someothign done about all the pic collectors and wanking dead etc etc etc
surely we cannot be alone here as see so many people posting similar things related to the same sort of topics .
before anyone says "try a club " we have done and its just not our thing as we feel we dont fit in as its very cliquey
"
If it was much better for you in the past, what has changed ?
You think it is the people on fab, which could be true.
Was your profile as negative and demanding previously. It reads as a big list of what you do not want and what people shouldn't do. Maybe it is putting the genuine gents off ?  |
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Personally I think a few things have made it not as good as back in the day.
First was covid and folk had more time to wank etc and came across fab and alongside this was 50 shades where there was so many wannabe doms with little knowledge of swinging as a whole. |
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" before anyone says "try a club " we have done and its just not our thing as we feel we dont fit in as its very cliquey "
We're with you there.
We've found the biggest issue with getting meets is the fact that those we're most interested in seem to always live 270miles away! |
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" We've found the biggest issue with getting meets is the fact that those we're most interested in seem to always live 270miles away!"
We found they were generally in Ireland. Ireland must be some sort of 24 hour, 365 days a year fuck-fest... |
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We've found its a little harder than it used to be, especially with couples. Lots of people seem to get their kicks from just chatting and exchanging pics instead of meeting. Each to their own I guess.
We're having more success looking for solo meets instead.
Mrs. |
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What's a picture collector? 
A lot of people are complaining that meets are harder to come by. I wonder if COVID changed mind sets or that people genuinely can't be bothered to translate fantasy to reality maybe due to the ready availability of porn.
Among our age group there seems to be plenty of opportunity for couples (not so much single men but that's nothing new) I'm not sure if that's significant in any way 🤷♀️ |
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One of the things I think happens is that over time you get to know everyone in your local area. You have probably met the ones you want to and avoid the ones you don’t. Swinging is still niche and so the actual pool of people you are likely to play with is not that big to start with. You have kind of “completed” fab.
Almost all my meets now are regulars or people visiting the area for a few days. |
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"As you get more experienced it's easy to collect more and more red flags that you recognise, and to be less excited about every opportunity.
I'm not saying that that's true for you, but for some people swinging is just a phase.
well if thats the case can people that are in a phase please hurry up and give up so the genuine ones can get back to normal service please "
I think you misread this response? I’m sure the poster meant that for many, swinging is just a phase, a bit like sowing your wild oats before getting married? Then those people go back to ‘normal life’, with some good memories to look back on. It is something I have seen many times over the years I have been dipping in and out of here…..👍
Clubs are cliquey for sure. They are better for couples, to meet other couples, as after all; isn’t that what swinging is all about? The classic ‘wife swapping’?
Fab has its peaks and troughs. If you’re finding yourselves in a ‘trough’ at the moment, there are other, similar sites out there. Google is your friend 😎 |
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"One of the things I think happens is that over time you get to know everyone in your local area. You have probably met the ones you want to and avoid the ones you don’t. Swinging is still niche and so the actual pool of people you are likely to play with is not that big to start with. You have kind of “completed” fab.
Almost all my meets now are regulars or people visiting the area for a few days."
I think it's exactly this. After a year or so you've pretty much rinsed out all the viable profiles. We have a hard rule about avoiding newbies because they are always unreliable, so new people joining aren't any use for us. Every now and then we relax that rule, only to be reminded that newbies are always unreliable 🤣 |
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Entirely right op, despite a new profile we've been here years and now it's a case of having to put in such an effort that it's draining. You get 100 emails and 1 is decent but by the time you get to it you are so tired of the crap, it gets deleted.
Tbh we have far more success with tinder. |
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When I first started on this life of swinging it was mid 90s roughly it was contract mags box no then your home address. No such thing as a time waster .
Problem is now too easy secret email address. No idea if person is aged 20 or 80 male or female
Plus far too many men think every lady will drop her nixs for every reply. Same as I am on couple of Facebook groups for naturist there having trouble single men private messaging expecting couples to meet them. |
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"When I first started on this life of swinging it was mid 90s roughly it was contract mags box no then your home address. No such thing as a time waster .
Problem is now too easy secret email address. No idea if person is aged 20 or 80 male or female
Plus far too many men think every lady will drop her nixs for every reply. Same as I am on couple of Facebook groups for naturist there having trouble single men private messaging expecting couples to meet them. "
Aren't a lot of couples expecting a ready supply of other couples and men? |
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"One of the things I think happens is that over time you get to know everyone in your local area. You have probably met the ones you want to and avoid the ones you don’t. Swinging is still niche and so the actual pool of people you are likely to play with is not that big to start with. You have kind of “completed” fab.
Almost all my meets now are regulars or people visiting the area for a few days.
I think it's exactly this. After a year or so you've pretty much rinsed out all the viable profiles. We have a hard rule about avoiding newbies because they are always unreliable, so new people joining aren't any use for us. Every now and then we relax that rule, only to be reminded that newbies are always unreliable 🤣"
What has made you disregard all newbies as unreliable? As a newbie if everyone had that attitude no-one would get anywhere. I'm finding no-one wants to chat or meet socially first which is disheartening. |
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We are just starting out in this lifestyle and so far we have had one experience of trying to get something organised and you have so many people say yes yes yes but when it comes to it it’s no no no I think it’s just a sign at the times and it just got a look ahead and look forward |
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"what is actualy happening with fab ? we have been here many many years and in the last few years meets have gotten less and less (not for the lack of trying) despite more and more people joining , surely there has to be someothign done about all the pic collectors and wanking dead etc etc etc
surely we cannot be alone here as see so many people posting similar things related to the same sort of topics .
before anyone says "try a club " we have done and its just not our thing as we feel we dont fit in as its very cliquey
"
With you on this. Been chatting to a few women only for them to suddenly stop replying. Which is fair enough, no problem with people changing there mind, but you two look great so if your not getting meets there's no hope for the rest of us. Good luck 🤞 |
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"Entirely right op, despite a new profile we've been here years and now it's a case of having to put in such an effort that it's draining. You get 100 emails and 1 is decent but by the time you get to it you are so tired of the crap, it gets deleted.
Tbh we have far more success with tinder."
As a single guy who's trying my best to put in the effort when messaging, this is very reassuring 😅 |
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We entirely agree with OP we been posting meets since November without much joy at all other than socials we tried accommodating last Wednesday what a waste time tried hotels clubs are as said clique,but most guys on say they can’t get meets the amount saying next time you post ill be available is laughable |
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I've (Mr) not noticed much different in the last 18 years on here.
Meeting shouldn't be easy. If you were attracted to everyone and found people willing to meet at the drop of a hat I'd be worried.
The real world (clubs, events, socials) are always going to be easier than online. But even with online interactions it doesn't take long to identify the people actually interested in meeting and spot those just looking for chat/pics/stringing you along.
A couple of messages and then move to real contact, wither phone or video, and then a face to face social.
Time is precious, people have commitments and if it becomes hard work move on to someone else.
At least couples have eachother. Singles don't. That's why they get even more aggy when messed around and that often works against them because they can often come across as too keen and pushy. 🤷♂️ |
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"We entirely agree with OP we been posting meets since November without much joy at all other than socials we tried accommodating last Wednesday what a waste time tried hotels clubs are as said clique,but most guys on say they can’t get meets the amount saying next time you post ill be available is laughable "
Maybe it’s a simple fact for us that we have standards like no beards bi guys or over weight I don’t know lol |
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By *ickD80Man 3 weeks ago
Wolverhampton |
Why don’t the many, many people who start threads and post comments about how difficult it is to find someone genuine to meet up with just meet up with each other…..it seems strange that there are so many people saying they’re genuine but can’t find anyone else genuine. |
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"Why don’t the many, many people who start threads and post comments about how difficult it is to find someone genuine to meet up with just meet up with each other…."
Just because they're looking to meet someone, doesn't mean they'll shag anyone who's available. |
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By *ickD80Man 3 weeks ago
Wolverhampton |
"Why don’t the many, many people who start threads and post comments about how difficult it is to find someone genuine to meet up with just meet up with each other….
Just because they're looking to meet someone, doesn't mean they'll shag anyone who's available. "
When did I say they’ll shag anyone available? They can choose from the many, many others posting about being genuine but not being able to find anyone genuine. There’s a lot to choose from going by how many people post messages about it. |
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I get the impression the site can be tiresome for (some) couples, with a very high 'noise-to-signal' ratio for them due to(too) many approaches from bew/faceless/unverified/flaky single men. Which must be a shame, both for the couples and for the genuine single guys on here.
It does make me wonder if what might help is a genuine 'Swingers' section (or separate site!) just for couples - who could maybe then allow single men to join by invitation. (I say 'genuine', as to me 'Swingers' always used to mean Couples who played..)
(Just commenting from the sidelines really, as my own experience as a TV is somewhat different - definitely get a lot of approaches that are a waste of time, but a few good ones..) |
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By *rishCWoman 3 weeks ago
Cavan |
" We've found the biggest issue with getting meets is the fact that those we're most interested in seem to always live 270miles away!
We found they were generally in Ireland. Ireland must be some sort of 24 hour, 365 days a year fuck-fest... "
Not true.
We take St Patrick's Day and Christmas Day off 💚😉 |
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I’ve been on and off of FAB for years as a single and a couple also as FWB couple. A lot has changed, noticeably during covid. The vibe flicked to a very cynical one, almost as if nobody wants to chat anymore, there is no trust now.
I see cheating being mentioned in the Forums, at one time it was frowned upon and loads of people would call it out, not now, it opens up a whole thread boasting about it, messages and people saying “It’s a sex site” it’s not! or it wasn’t, swinging used to be about community and likemindedness it seems more like a grab a shag site now if you’re lucky!, it’s changed a lot and no where near as much fun. I popped into the chat rooms… big mistake just loads of obnoxious lads talking to people like shit! It’s sad, i’d love to see it reclaimed by swingers not chancers, onlyfans posters etc.
I know there’s a lot of very genuine people out there but the respect seems to have evaporated and that makes things hard. |
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By *ickD80Man 3 weeks ago
Wolverhampton |
"I’ve been on and off of FAB for years as a single and a couple also as FWB couple. A lot has changed, noticeably during covid. The vibe flicked to a very cynical one, almost as if nobody wants to chat anymore, there is no trust now.
I see cheating being mentioned in the Forums, at one time it was frowned upon and loads of people would call it out, not now, it opens up a whole thread boasting about it, messages and people saying “It’s a sex site” it’s not! or it wasn’t, swinging used to be about community and likemindedness it seems more like a grab a shag site now if you’re lucky!, it’s changed a lot and no where near as much fun. I popped into the chat rooms… big mistake just loads of obnoxious lads talking to people like shit! It’s sad, i’d love to see it reclaimed by swingers not chancers, onlyfans posters etc.
I know there’s a lot of very genuine people out there but the respect seems to have evaporated and that makes things hard. "
I don’t want to get too deep but i think the world as a whole has changed since covid in so many ways. People seem to live their lives in a completely different way now, myself included. I used to be really socially active before 2020, every weekend I would go out and have friends inviting me out but that just doesn’t happen anymore. I don’t have the same desire to go out and it seems like my friends don’t either. On the rare occasions that i do go to the pub it’s always noticeably quieter than it used to be.
You only have to look at social media to see that people are a lot angrier than they used to be and a lot more willing to project blatant hatred towards others. My ethnicity is one that is often targeted by the far right but before 2020 i always thought that was the small minority so i never felt under threat in any way, now i’m scared to tell people about my ethnic background because it seems like the large majority of people are openly projecting their right leaning views and beliefs. There seems to be a lack of empathy and tolerance, so opinions that used to be considered offensive are now commonplace.
I guess all that could be reflected here because if people aren’t going out socialising as much they’re more likely to be trying to entertain themselves in other ways online, so there will be more users here who are just messing about because they don’t have anything better to do. And when they may have been more considerate and respectful of the genuine swingers in the past, now they are less so and won’t feel guilty about wasting people’s time and/or sending disrespectful messages. |
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"what is actualy happening with fab ? we have been here many many years and in the last few years meets have gotten less and less (not for the lack of trying) despite more and more people joining , surely there has to be someothign done about all the pic collectors and wanking dead etc etc etc
surely we cannot be alone here as see so many people posting similar things related to the same sort of topics .
before anyone says "try a club " we have done and its just not our thing as we feel we dont fit in as its very cliquey
"
I think a lot of couples and Singles use clubs more for initial meets. They use Fab as a way to keep in touch but not for initial meets. It's how a lot of couples describe it to us x |
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"what is actualy happening with fab ? we have been here many many years and in the last few years meets have gotten less and less (not for the lack of trying) despite more and more people joining , surely there has to be someothign done about all the pic collectors and wanking dead etc etc etc
surely we cannot be alone here as see so many people posting similar things related to the same sort of topics .
before anyone says "try a club " we have done and its just not our thing as we feel we dont fit in as its very cliquey
I think a lot of couples and Singles use clubs more for initial meets. They use Fab as a way to keep in touch but not for initial meets. It's how a lot of couples describe it to us x"
Yes, as a cuckold couple we just get a lot of messages on here about our lifestyle rather than those looking to meet seriously, meeting other couples at clubs would be our preference and use this as way of keeping in touch. |
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There's always lots of comments/threads with ideas on how to fix fab. I don't think it can or needs to be fixed.
When you're new to fab or the scene it's fun & exciting. After a while you decide what you like & start looking for that whilst looking back at how fun it used to be.
I think as the site gets bigger, it attracts more people, who are just curious. That makes it harder to find genuine people.
No-ones winning though. Couples complain about too many men. Men complain about sending messages & not getting any replies. |
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Hello as a couple who mostly do private meets you have to be very vigilant with the site nowadays do t interact with accounts that have no veris and have been made recently do not commit to endless chatting its probably not going anywhere establish contact via video call with both of you or vice versa don't take any bullshit from people you have a life it does not revolve around fab and lastly if its too good to be true it usually is sites gone pretty bad since covid |
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"what is actualy happening with fab ? we have been here many many years and in the last few years meets have gotten less and less (not for the lack of trying) despite more and more people joining , surely there has to be someothign done about all the pic collectors and wanking dead etc etc etc
surely we cannot be alone here as see so many people posting similar things related to the same sort of topics .
before anyone says "try a club " we have done and its just not our thing as we feel we dont fit in as its very cliquey
"
It's definitely MUCH worse than when we joined 12 years ago. People have certainly changed in general, either fakes, pic collectors, liars or too nervous to make the jump. We see it in clubs too, last two couples we met by chance lied to us and messed us around  |
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"what is actualy happening with fab ? we have been here many many years and in the last few years meets have gotten less and less (not for the lack of trying) despite more and more people joining , surely there has to be someothign done about all the pic collectors and wanking dead etc etc etc
surely we cannot be alone here as see so many people posting similar things related to the same sort of topics .
before anyone says "try a club " we have done and its just not our thing as we feel we dont fit in as its very cliquey
"
It’s like any scene that’s a bit underground and popular with those into it
Then it goes mainstream and invariably gets worse.
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"
What has made you disregard all newbies as unreliable? As a newbie if everyone had that attitude no-one would get anywhere. I'm finding no-one wants to chat or meet socially first which is disheartening. "
Bitter experience. Literally every newbie we have ever taken a chance on has ghosted or flaked before meeting. Maybe some are genuine but I really don't have the time or the energy to go through them. |
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"Bitter experience. Literally every newbie we have ever taken a chance on has ghosted or flaked before meeting."
We keep breaking our "must have meet verifications" rule and every single time they either cancel at the last minute, delete their account the day before or just don't show up even after confirming. |
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Fab isn’t what it used to be (the catalyst was Covid) but that’s the same for many other things.
We find that this place has lots of fakes, time wasters and even content creator types nowadays.
We haven’t had a meet based off messages on here in years.
Best option is clubs but they can be hit and miss. |
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Indeed, this is how we treat it. Fab is useful to us to start chatting and clubs offer a safe environment for that first meet. In fact we just experienced exactly that last week at V2V 😉, we've now arranged a hotel meet for Friday. 😊.
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"Fab isn’t what it used to be (the catalyst was Covid) but that’s the same for many other things.
We find that this place has lots of fakes, time wasters and even content creator types nowadays.
We haven’t had a meet based off messages on here in years.
Best option is clubs but they can be hit and miss. "
This !
Yes even clubs now, last two couples we met by chance lied and messed us around ! |
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