FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Abusive Status

Abusive Status

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Someone has put up an abusive status up naming me. I have reported it to admin but I can see it is still showing. Can anyone advise how long it takes to remove? I thought anyone putting up abusive status updates was reprimanded?

All this because I didn't want to meet. If this is how I'm going to be treated on here it calls into question staying on here. I thought the site had a duty of care to ensure abuse like this is dealt with.

Any admins who can help please contact me.

Thank you.

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By *inkyKellyCDTV/TS over a year ago

Coventry

Sorry to hear - if you've reported it with the report button then they're usually pretty swift with this kind of thing, though it is about 1am so there's obviously less chance of an admin being available/around.

A shame someone had to act so childishly, though :/

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Someone has put up an abusive status up naming me. I have reported it to admin but I can see it is still showing. Can anyone advise how long it takes to remove? I thought anyone putting up abusive status updates was reprimanded?

Any admins who can help please contact me.

Thank you."

When they work though the other 1000 reports.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Sorry to hear - if you've reported it with the report button then they're usually pretty swift with this kind of thing, though it is about 1am so there's obviously less chance of an admin being available/around.

A shame someone had to act so childishly, though :/"

Thanks hunny. It was pretty bad. He started off by asking to meet up when I declined he got more and more abusive. Then posted a vile status update about me. I reported him over 4 hours ago but a friend told me the status is still up. Anyway I appreciate your reply and hopefully it'll be dealt with. Thanks again xx

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By *hiterabbit69Man over a year ago

Romford

They'll get to it eventually. I know it's not what you want to hear, but most guys don't have other guys status alerts showing up in their feed.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We get this all the time.

Out main status is "please read our profile" and when we say we are not interested as the person contacting us has clearly not read it, as they are not what we are looking for(wrong age,location and many others) they then send abusive messages.

Some people on here are just immature and are strange if they can not take no as an answer.

I hope you get it sorted out and try not to let this make you think bad of the site.

Take care

Emma x

Any admins who can help please contact me.

Thank you."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh God sorry to hear this! I am really finding this is happening a lot on here lately! I haven't seen the one you have been named in but have seen other statuses slagging ppl off. Calling people timewasters etc I get loads of abuse and men and couples getting shitty and that's not even me turning them down! Just not answering quick enough! Well hopefully ppl who have seen it will see how petty he is and won't entertain him! Hope it's gone though now! X

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A lass I'd been chatting to for a while and arranging a social with put a status naming some guy and being abusive to him. I broke all contact and blocked her as statuses like that say more about the person writing them than the person being written about.

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By *ir jizalotMan over a year ago

Liverpool

Hi guys the problem is we will always find this sort of immature behaviour with rejection it's a coping strategy that some people use to try to make their own situation better as they feel rejected they try to hurt the other person so they are not the only one who feels bad.

We need to make sure we are using the report button on every instance.

I am sorry you had this unfortunate experience and hoe it has not clouded your view of the site there are a lot of happy good people here, just gets a bad rep from mindless individuals. Hope you have a great day tomorrow

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman over a year ago

Deviant City

There needs to be a bigger admin team, with a huge site like this, they must have to deal with thousands of reports a day.

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Block him. Everyone will know he's acting like an idiot and it will cost him meets, not you.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"A lass I'd been chatting to for a while and arranging a social with put a status naming some guy and being abusive to him. I broke all contact and blocked her as statuses like that say more about the person writing them than the person being written about."

We're the same, can be chatting and all going well then one day the people (and its often couples) we're chatting to put up an abusive status about someone. Why on earth would we want to meet after that?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If a message has been abusive just block. Then who cares what the statuses are? You're never going to see it, let them look a bit sad

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's a adult site u r going to get occasional Idiots but opening a forum to discuss it and wondering if you should be on the site is OTT just block em and carry on,

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By *bsinthe_boyMan over a year ago

Luton

It's always single guys who are under the impression that this site is a guaranteed easy shag. Their way of 'thinking' seems to be that ladies/couples have no right to decline their advances.

Admin will be onto it once they have woken up

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's always single guys who are under the impression that this site is a guaranteed easy shag. Their way of 'thinking' seems to be that ladies/couples have no right to decline their advances.

Admin will be onto it once they have woken up

Well this post is absolute top drawer bollocks.

You should see the messages couples and single women send when they dont get thier own way.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"It's a adult site u r going to get occasional Idiots but opening a forum to discuss it and wondering if you should be on the site is OTT just block em and carry on, "

It isn't OTT it's uncalled for and this thread was to ask for help to see how long it usually takes for admins to deal with something like this.

For everyone who has taken the time to post kind/helpful comments thank you so much. Made me realise there are some really nice people here. I blocked him last night after the abuse and got told about the abusive status by a friend who saw it in updates.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's always single guys who are under the impression that this site is a guaranteed easy shag. Their way of 'thinking' seems to be that ladies/couples have no right to decline their advances.

Admin will be onto it once they have woken up

Well this post is absolute top drawer bollocks. I totally agree just get on with it what's up with the attention seeking !!!!! And why do guys then send lovely poems to make themselfs out to be saints just to say we ain't like the rest !!!! Just get on with it !!!

You should see the messages couples and single women send when they dont get thier own way."

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By *bsinthe_boyMan over a year ago

Luton

I guess our experiences all vary but the messages I get, and the couples I know on Fab are nothing compared to what the ladies get...or the couples where only the lady plays. It is, without exception, guys who feel entitled letting off steam after being politely declined.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wolf Ryder I totally agree !!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

As usual the trolls are out even on a post asking for advice.

Really appreciate the helpful comments though and thanks again.

Some people have far too much time on their hands. My point for posting in the HELP AND ADVICE section was for HELP AND ADVICE. Not an attempt at attention seeking. If I wanted to do that I'd post in the lounge or swingers chat forum like some

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By *andaCouple over a year ago

co down

Any admins who can help please contact me.

Thank you."

OP hope you get this sorted. Nobody has the right to name you on a status.

Had it happen to us once and it wasn't nice. Just report and block. They will get to it eventually. It took admin a few hours in our case but I'm sure times vary depending on the time of day

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thing is, has anyone ever been affected by an abusive status post in their ability to chat, meet etc? Doubt it very much. But I am sure it has affected the abusers chances with others. Let them get on with it

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Any admins who can help please contact me.

Thank you.

OP hope you get this sorted. Nobody has the right to name you on a status.

Had it happen to us once and it wasn't nice. Just report and block. They will get to it eventually. It took admin a few hours in our case but I'm sure times vary depending on the time of day

Thank you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As much as people say ignore the people who are abusive, it's not that easy.

Some people are really horrible and the site don't do enough to tackle it.

Yeah we can block but then they do it to someone else

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Thing is, has anyone ever been affected by an abusive status post in their ability to chat, meet etc? Doubt it very much. But I am sure it has affected the abusers chances with others. Let them get on with it"

Yeah I agree. It's just a particularly nasty status and is still up apparently 10hours later. Thanks though

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"As much as people say ignore the people who are abusive, it's not that easy.

Some people are really horrible and the site don't do enough to tackle it.

Yeah we can block but then they do it to someone else"

Exactly

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've seen it a lot, its pathetically sad to see, so immature and as someone else said, it says more about them than the person they've named. I think most would ignore and think the same, declined and thrown the toys out but I think maybe, when reporting someone naming in a status, the status is removed straight away until it can be reviewed by admin.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I've seen it a lot, its pathetically sad to see, so immature and as someone else said, it says more about them than the person they've named. I think most would ignore and think the same, declined and thrown the toys out but I think maybe, when reporting someone naming in a status, the status is removed straight away until it can be reviewed by admin. "

Yeah I thought so too. Apparently it's still up 10hours later. I'd really appreciate an admin to contact me as I have reported it. I know they're very busy but if this is the way the site is going then as I originally wrote I'll be questioning whether I want to continue as a site supporter.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes you see this on some comments sites such ass BBC have your say. A reported comment change to 'status under review' until a mod has chance to see. Of course anyone abusing the report feature itself could be subject to action but in the most part the reports will be genuine.

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By *ali 69Man over a year ago

jersey

Put his name up in your status informing all of his deeds until your name is removed . Not ideal , but proactive .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sorry, I didn't word that too well, its still a bit early! I meant that maybe admin could change it so that when you report someone naming another user in a status, its removed straight away, like the above poster said, change it to status removed, will review like with a forum thread. Its not nice to have your name lit up for many hours before its dealt with.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Put his name up in your status informing all of his deeds until your name is removed . Not ideal , but proactive .

Haha tempted but not going to stoop to his level

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Put his name up in your status informing all of his deeds until your name is removed . Not ideal , but proactive .

what, so we can all see what he's said?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

No I got what you meant hunny and yes I think it's a great idea.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If I had a pound for every time some guy has wrote I'm a cunt in his status then I'd have about 9 quid!

The really fun thing to do is to message him now saying actually I do want to meet and when they message back saying brill, when? Say nah I'm just pulling your pisser.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As someone said earlier, there is not enough admin to deal with the amount of reports.

Does that not indicate that there is a problem. Why is it appropriate that a nasty status remains 10 hours after being reported, OP is obviously distressed by it but the site doesn't take that into consideration

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If I had a pound for every time some guy has wrote I'm a cunt in his status then I'd have about 9 quid!

The really fun thing to do is to message him now saying actually I do want to meet and when they message back saying brill, when? Say nah I'm just pulling your pisser. "

Haha nice one.

Thing is he was particularly nasty and in one of his messages named places where I live and work. Then the status he put up was vile. If it was him just calling me a cnut I'd block and ignore like most but it's the messages and status that have disturbed me and more so that it's still up over 10 hours later.

Thanks though I get what you mean.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"As someone said earlier, there is not enough admin to deal with the amount of reports.

Thanks again hunny, you've got it in a nutshell

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I fail to see how abusing someone is going to make them want you more. Giving someone 'attitude' surely makes them look desperate and a less attractive prospect.

Hope admin sorts it for you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Put his name up in your status informing all of his deeds until your name is removed . Not ideal , but proactive .

Haha tempted but not going to stoop to his level

It's pretty pathetic the way some take rejection. I'm sorry you encountered this idiot.

I hope admin sort it soon. Perhaps get some of your friends to report it too if they've missed it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I fail to see how abusing someone is going to make them want you more. Giving someone 'attitude' surely makes them look desperate and a less attractive prospect.

Hope admin sorts it for you

Thanks hunny x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Put his name up in your status informing all of his deeds until your name is removed . Not ideal , but proactive .

Haha tempted but not going to stoop to his level

It's pretty pathetic the way some take rejection. I'm sorry you encountered this idiot.

I hope admin sort it soon. Perhaps get some of your friends to report it too if they've missed it. "

Thank you hunny. Yes I hope it is sorted soon

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By *icplshropsCouple over a year ago

Rock

Try not to let it upset you, as everyone on here is not like that.

If we ever see someone naming and shaming, either on statuses or in the forum, we use this as a filter and block them after reporting them. They'll soon realise it's not acceptable behaviour here!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Any admins who can help please contact me.

Thank you."

That's totally out of order, Im not sure they have enough admin to get through all the messages quickly. Block these type of people at the first bad message. I hope you don't let the few bad apples force you off the site, there are many good men on here who would never disrespect any of the fab ladies like that, plus your pics are hot and I enjoy seeing you on the most fabbed pics page x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I fail to see how abusing someone is going to make them want you more. Giving someone 'attitude' surely makes them look desperate and a less attractive prospect.

Hope admin sorts it for you

Thanks hunny x "

Youll probably find that their profile will abruptly disappear soon enough

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's a adult site u r going to get occasional Idiots but opening a forum to discuss it and wondering if you should be on the site is OTT just block em and carry on, "

That sort of apathy is the problem on here.. its going to happen if you let it yes.. damn your post wound me up.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Try not to let it upset you, as everyone on here is not like that.

If we ever see someone naming and shaming, either on statuses or in the forum, we use this as a filter and block them after reporting them. They'll soon realise it's not acceptable behaviour here!"

Thanks I appreciate your post.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Any admins who can help please contact me.

Thank you.

Thank you. Much appreciated.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I fail to see how abusing someone is going to make them want you more. Giving someone 'attitude' surely makes them look desperate and a less attractive prospect.

Hope admin sorts it for you

Thanks hunny x

Youll probably find that their profile will abruptly disappear soon enough

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"It's a adult site u r going to get occasional Idiots but opening a forum to discuss it and wondering if you should be on the site is OTT just block em and carry on,

That sort of apathy is the problem on here.. its going to happen if you let it yes.. damn your post wound me up."

Hopefully it'll be dealt with. Thanks

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There needs to be a bigger admin team, with a huge site like this, they must have to deal with thousands of reports a day."

Its basically a free site, they'd probably need to employ admin to keep on top of all the messages.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Such a shame people resort to doing things like this. When I see men with an abusive status I instantly block them as I don't wish to have contact with children.

OP I hope you get it dealt with swiftly and can move on from it

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Such a shame people resort to doing things like this. When I see men with an abusive status I instantly block them as I don't wish to have contact with children.

OP I hope you get it dealt with swiftly and can move on from it

Thanks hunny I appreciate your post x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"As usual the trolls are out even on a post asking for advice.

Really appreciate the helpful comments though and thanks again.

Actually you posted in the swinging suport and advice section.

Surely the more appropriate forum would have been the "fabswingers.com site feedback"forum

Given its a site issue not a swinging issue.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"As usual the trolls are out even on a post asking for advice.

Really appreciate the helpful comments though and thanks again.

Actually you posted in the swinging suport and advice section.

Surely the more appropriate forum would have been the "fabswingers.com site feedback"forum

Given its a site issue not a swinging issue.

Gee thanks for pointing that out. My sincere apologies for not posting in the correct section.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just following this feed and it's terrible that people have to make comments on other people let alone write a status about them. We're all adults here and we know we can always be everyone's cup of tea for whatever reason. It is funny though that certain people have commented on this feed being empathetic yet about a week ago had a negative status themselves regarding what they called "fat" people. Practice what you preach is my motto. Hope your situation is dealt with swiftly anyway

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

Sad to say I doubt much will happen, maybe a slap on the wrist. Don't expect a duty of care here, that's my experience anyway. Just block and move on. Others seeing the status will judge him on it, not you.

Anyone posting an abusive status about someone else will get my automatic block even if I've not chatted to them - they're just not the type of person I want and recommend everyone does this. Eventually they'll go away X

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Just following this feed and it's terrible that people have to make comments on other people let alone write a status about them. We're all adults here and we know we can always be everyone's cup of tea for whatever reason. It is funny though that certain people have commented on this feed being empathetic yet about a week ago had a negative status themselves regarding what they called "fat" people. Practice what you preach is my motto. Hope your situation is dealt with swiftly anyway

Thanks hunny. I appreciate your post x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Sad to say I doubt much will happen, maybe a slap on the wrist. Don't expect a duty of care here, that's my experience anyway. Just block and move on. Others seeing the status will judge him on it, not you.

Thanks hunny. I agree. Was just disturbed by how vile some people can be. X

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There needs to be a bigger admin team, with a huge site like this, they must have to deal with thousands of reports a day.

Its basically a free site, they'd probably need to employ admin to keep on top of all the messages.

Yes it is a free site that generates probably millions each year in site supporters fees..so yes they could pay admin to work the site properly..lets not fall into the trap of thinking theres no money on fab..I will bet the owners are rolling in coin..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Block him. Everyone will know he's acting like an idiot and it will cost him meets, not you. "

As Steve said X really sorry to hear it though X

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman over a year ago

stourbridge area

Bring back hanging ... perhaps it would deter these people from being nasty to anyone ever again

.....come on children .... play nicely together x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Block him. Everyone will know he's acting like an idiot and it will cost him meets, not you.

As Steve said X really sorry to hear it though X "

Thanks hunny x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Bring back hanging ... perhaps it would deter these people from being nasty to anyone ever again

.....come on children .... play nicely together x"

Hahaha maybe flogging instead of hanging but I fear that wouldn't be a deterrent to some

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Update. The profile with the abusive status has left the site. I don't know whether admin have removed or my friends joining in the reporting helped but I'm glad it's dealt with.

Thanks to everyone who took the time to offer kind words and advice. It was very much appreciated.

Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend. TGIF

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Bring back hanging ... perhaps it would deter these people from being nasty to anyone ever again

.....come on children .... play nicely together x

Hahaha maybe flogging instead of hanging but I fear that wouldn't be a deterrent to some

If we're going to get flogged for abusive status watch this space. I luuuurve a good hard flogging.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Bring back hanging ... perhaps it would deter these people from being nasty to anyone ever again

.....come on children .... play nicely together x

Hahaha maybe flogging instead of hanging but I fear that wouldn't be a deterrent to some

If we're going to get flogged for abusive status watch this space. I luuuurve a good hard flogging.

Naughty lady.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There needs to be a bigger admin team, with a huge site like this, they must have to deal with thousands of reports a day.

Its basically a free site, they'd probably need to employ admin to keep on top of all the messages.

I'm not falling into the trap, I expect the money generated from fees & advertising equates to a tidy sum.

However fabs is what it is & like many other internet sites will attract the good, the bad & the ugly.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Bring back hanging ... perhaps it would deter these people from being nasty to anyone ever again

.....come on children .... play nicely together x

Hahaha maybe flogging instead of hanging but I fear that wouldn't be a deterrent to some

If we're going to get flogged for abusive status watch this space. I luuuurve a good hard flogging.

Naughty lady.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

It can take up to 48 hours to deal with reports, most of them are a lot sooner though.

Going by this post it seems you may have reported it through the night or late last night, Admins might well be asleep at that point.

Give them time to deal with it

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