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How are you...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"what's wrong with asking how somebody is as an introduction? I read so many profiles where people seem to be offended by this polite opening line."
Because it is unimaginative. Imagine 50 messages like that. The convo usually goes:
How are you?
Yeh great thanks. You?
Great. Fancy a meet?
No thanks.
Literally that is what we get over and over and over. Boring as fuck!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The problem isn't with the question, it's the amount of times it's asked in a day, it's tedious.
Conversations always seem to follow a pattern of...
'Hi'
'How are you'
'How are you finding the site'
'Had any success'
'Wanna meet'
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isn't it just a start to a conversation? you could have a lengthy opening sentence and it could still leads to 'fancy a fuck'. I understand women get hundreds of messages and day but don't you look at profile and pics before replying? not rely on what's been said in the opening message? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"what's wrong with asking how somebody is as an introduction? I read so many profiles where people seem to be offended by this polite opening line.
Because it is unimaginative. Imagine 50 messages like that. The convo usually goes:
How are you?
Yeh great thanks. You?
Great. Fancy a meet?
No thanks.
Literally that is what we get over and over and over. Boring as fuck!!"
I spin it out a bit more than that lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We get lots of messages of a similar type. There is plenty to go off on our profile, as to why we may be compatible so we would hope that an opening message may be a little more explanatory than how are you.
We would assume that this is one of a lot of messages sent to a number of accounts where no time has been taken to read up on us.
If the message was from someone we were already chatting to or knew it would be fine but as an opening start it doesn't show much for us to go on.
We would prefer messages such as "hi we've read your profile and you seem to be just what we are looking for, as we are also looking for xx xx. Please check out our profile and get back if you think we should chat" or "hi I see you have a meet up for xx, I am also planning to attend, would you like to chat further as I think we have xx xx in common".
Also typically the "how are you?" Messages come from accounts with no profile so where will the conversation lead. I can't exactly reply "I'm great, I see you like xx just like us" so instead it goes like this:
How are you?
Good thanks, you?
Great, would you like to meet tonight?
No we have kids and need to plan in advance
...... end of conversation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"what's wrong with asking how somebody is as an introduction? I read so many profiles where people seem to be offended by this polite opening line."
In my experience the conversation doesn't tend to lead anywhere, if the initial contact has been a 'how are you'. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"what's wrong with asking how somebody is as an introduction? I read so many profiles where people seem to be offended by this polite opening line.
Because it is unimaginative. Imagine 50 messages like that. The convo usually goes:
How are you?
Yeh great thanks. You?
Great. Fancy a meet?
No thanks.
Literally that is what we get over and over and over. Boring as fuck!!"
Exactly this . Don't get us wrong it's better than : fancy a fuck bitch .
But when you get the same hackneyed phrase ad Naseum it's just stultifying |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm one of the lucky ladies that doesn't get 50+ messages  a day, so I don't mind a "hi, how are you?". I will always look at a profile and if there isn't one or nothing that would make think that we would get on then I won't reply. The profile also gives me a hint as to whether you've read mine, for example, I'm 6'1 and my profile quite clearly states that I'm looking for someone at least as tall as me. If someone messages me who is only 5'8 then it would suggest that they haven't read my profile. |
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Instead of saying is boring, plain and lacking imagination, why don't you girls/couples give an example of an opening message instead. I'm sure OP and many others would like to have an idea of what you actually expect! |
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"We get lots of messages of a similar type. There is plenty to go off on our profile, as to why we may be compatible so we would hope that an opening message may be a little more explanatory than how are you.
"
Exactly this; then of course when you do give someone (with a crap profile) the benefit of the doubt and invite them 'to tell us a little about yourself?'
The response invariably 'is what do you want to know?'
We then block. If people can't be arsed to put a few sentences about themselves in a reply or an ongoing reply we can assume (rightly or wrongly) they are not going to put much effort into anything else. |
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"We get lots of messages of a similar type. There is plenty to go off on our profile, as to why we may be compatible so we would hope that an opening message may be a little more explanatory than how are you.
We would assume that this is one of a lot of messages sent to a number of accounts where no time has been taken to read up on us.
If the message was from someone we were already chatting to or knew it would be fine but as an opening start it doesn't show much for us to go on.
We would prefer messages such as "hi we've read your profile and you seem to be just what we are looking for, as we are also looking for xx xx. Please check out our profile and get back if you think we should chat" or "hi I see you have a meet up for xx, I am also planning to attend, would you like to chat further as I think we have xx xx in common".
Also typically the "how are you?" Messages come from accounts with no profile so where will the conversation lead. I can't exactly reply "I'm great, I see you like xx just like us" so instead it goes like this:
How are you?
Good thanks, you?
Great, would you like to meet tonight?
No we have kids and need to plan in advance
...... end of conversation."
Those are some lovely wellies  |
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"what's wrong with asking how somebody is as an introduction? I read so many profiles where people seem to be offended by this polite opening line."
Think of it this way, you are tying to impress a couple or a lady that will receive a lot of messages every time they log in, and you only get to make one first impression, if its the same as the 50 other guys that have asked 'How are you?' then its going to get lost in the pile.
You need to sell yourself, make a great impression, stand out from the crowd, read there profile and introduce some of the things you have read into the message, also include some of your personality in it as well.
A boring first message will give the impression that you are boring, and that you are churning out 100's of these quick message to everyone, that doesn't make anyone feel special.
You get out of this site what you put into it!! |
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"Instead of saying is boring, plain and lacking imagination, why don't you girls/couples give an example of an opening message instead. I'm sure OP and many others would like to have an idea of what you actually expect!"
Something like this :
Hi, I'm one of the 5 little piggies brothers.
One little piggy went to market,
The other little piggy stayed home,
The youndest little piggy had roast beef
The oldest little piggy had none,
And this little piggy cried wee wee wee all the way home because he couldn't get any meets on fab.
I wonder if you can help?
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"Instead of saying is boring, plain and lacking imagination, why don't you girls/couples give an example of an opening message instead. I'm sure OP and many others would like to have an idea of what you actually expect!"
Most do and the answer is usually, tell them about yourself and why you think you'd be a good match for them
That really should be common sense anyway |
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By *rimo4uMan
over a year ago
north kensington w10 |
"what's wrong with asking how somebody is as an introduction? I read so many profiles where people seem to be offended by this polite opening line."
Nothing wrong at all, it's the people who are offended by it who are missing out on possibly a good thing you know! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You're a stranger what you meant to say when you get asked up to 20 or more a day do you really what to hear "how I am" I can unburden if you want.
It hardly makes you stand out
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We get lots of messages of a similar type. There is plenty to go off on our profile, as to why we may be compatible so we would hope that an opening message may be a little more explanatory than how are you.
We would assume that this is one of a lot of messages sent to a number of accounts where no time has been taken to read up on us.
If the message was from someone we were already chatting to or knew it would be fine but as an opening start it doesn't show much for us to go on.
We would prefer messages such as "hi we've read your profile and you seem to be just what we are looking for, as we are also looking for xx xx. Please check out our profile and get back if you think we should chat" or "hi I see you have a meet up for xx, I am also planning to attend, would you like to chat further as I think we have xx xx in common".
Also typically the "how are you?" Messages come from accounts with no profile so where will the conversation lead. I can't exactly reply "I'm great, I see you like xx just like us" so instead it goes like this:
How are you?
Good thanks, you?
Great, would you like to meet tonight?
No we have kids and need to plan in advance
...... end of conversation.
Those are some lovely wellies "
Haha. That was at Swingfields this year... they were needed! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Instead of saying is boring, plain and lacking imagination, why don't you girls/couples give an example of an opening message instead. I'm sure OP and many others would like to have an idea of what you actually expect!"
I did give examples! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd rather someone point out what might appeal about them
I don't want any more than a one liner but not "How are you" or "What u up 2" as it's no ones business to ask that until there's been an exchange of words. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Instead of saying is boring, plain and lacking imagination, why don't you girls/couples give an example of an opening message instead. I'm sure OP and many others would like to have an idea of what you actually expect!"
That's like writing someone's profile for them, if they can't come up with something on there own then it a useful filter. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Instead of saying is boring, plain and lacking imagination, why don't you girls/couples give an example of an opening message instead. I'm sure OP and many others would like to have an idea of what you actually expect!
That's like writing someone's profile for them, if they can't come up with something on there own then it a useful filter. "
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If it is the first line of a longer message then there is nothing wrong with it, bland but OK.
If it is the sum total of the message then it is boring, especially when you have received 10 identical ones that day.
As others have said if they start with a "hi how are you?"
"Fine thanks, and you?"
"Great......wanna meet?"
*sigh* |
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"Instead of saying is boring, plain and lacking imagination, why don't you girls/couples give an example of an opening message instead. I'm sure OP and many others would like to have an idea of what you actually expect!
I did give examples!"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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nothing wrong with good manners - we prefer polite messages - but we also want a message to lead to a meeting - so a bit of direct information about preferences and availability is good too, not just hello how are you? we don't use fabs for idle chit chat.....m x
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for a laugh once I replied to a one liner "how are you message?" With a full monologue of how "shit" my day was. To which I got a reply along the lines of "I only wanted a fuck mother your life story", couldn't then resist replying if you didn't want to know the answer don't ask the question.
I've done it a few times since then some of the responses are hilarious though i must caution that you might end up on a few block lists  |
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"for a laugh once I replied to a one liner "how are you message?" With a full monologue of how "shit" my day was. To which I got a reply along the lines of "I only wanted a fuck mother your life story", couldn't then resist replying if you didn't want to know the answer don't ask the question.
I've done it a few times since then some of the responses are hilarious though i must caution that you might end up on a few block lists "
We regularly get blocked because we send sarcy or stupid answers to dumb or boring messages but most of the time we just delete them. At least "how are you?" is better than the ones asking if we meet single guys or asking if Fab works for us as our veris are a bit of a clue. Best advice is look at pics and if they appeal to you then read the profile, read the veris then take a few minutes to think of something to write that shows you have done so...It doesn't guarantee a reply from us but it will definitely help. |
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By *p4funCouple
over a year ago
PLYMOUTH |
"The problem isn't with the question, it's the amount of times it's asked in a day, it's tedious.
Conversations always seem to follow a pattern of...
'Hi'
'How are you'
'How are you finding the site'
'Had any success'
'Wanna meet'
"
spot on
This exactly ...... yawn  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Instead of saying is boring, plain and lacking imagination, why don't you girls/couples give an example of an opening message instead. I'm sure OP and many others would like to have an idea of what you actually expect!"
The clues are in the profile. If they haven't the common sense to think of something original, then they probably aren't that creative in the bedroom either, so I'd prefer to use it as a filter to be honest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"for a laugh once I replied to a one liner "how are you message?" With a full monologue of how "shit" my day was. To which I got a reply along the lines of "I only wanted a fuck mother your life story", couldn't then resist replying if you didn't want to know the answer don't ask the question.
I've done it a few times since then some of the responses are hilarious though i must caution that you might end up on a few block lists
We regularly get blocked because we send sarcy or stupid answers to dumb or boring messages but most of the time we just delete them. At least "how are you?" is better than the ones asking if we meet single guys or asking if Fab works for us as our veris are a bit of a clue. Best advice is look at pics and if they appeal to you then read the profile, read the veris then take a few minutes to think of something to write that shows you have done so...It doesn't guarantee a reply from us but it will definitely help."
I do this, haha! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"hi how are you
fine thanks
good how's your day been ?
fine thanks
what you up to ??
etc etc
dull questions get dull answers
simple as  "
When they ask 'what you up to' or even worse 'wuu2'...I reply with 'on Fab'.
At which point they're stumped and either ask for Kik details, a meet or say 'ur talkative'.
And I go 'funnily enough I was thinking the same'.
End of convo. |
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"what's wrong with asking how somebody is as an introduction? I read so many profiles where people seem to be offended by this polite opening line.
Because it is unimaginative. Imagine 50 messages like that. The convo usually goes:
How are you?
Yeh great thanks. You?
Great. Fancy a meet?
No thanks.
Literally that is what we get over and over and over. Boring as fuck!!"
Exactly this. |
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"for a laugh once I replied to a one liner "how are you message?" With a full monologue of how "shit" my day was. To which I got a reply along the lines of "I only wanted a fuck mother your life story", couldn't then resist replying if you didn't want to know the answer don't ask the question.
I've done it a few times since then some of the responses are hilarious though i must caution that you might end up on a few block lists "
I think i will try this.
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"what's wrong with asking how somebody is as an introduction? I read so many profiles where people seem to be offended by this polite opening line."
Could get worse eg.
Hi hows you
Fancy a chat/meet
Click to profile.
Find silhouette or cock as profile pic
Find cock as public image
Find no pics at all
Find no profile details other than Man looking for a woman
If you wanna no summat please ask
And to top it all a request. To COME ON!!!!
BLOCK/DELETE... NEXT! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"for a laugh once I replied to a one liner "how are you message?" With a full monologue of how "shit" my day was. To which I got a reply along the lines of "I only wanted a fuck mother your life story", couldn't then resist replying if you didn't want to know the answer don't ask the question.
I've done it a few times since then some of the responses are hilarious though i must caution that you might end up on a few block lists
I think i will try this.
"
I'm going to try this too. Keeps things less tedious! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have no issue with it so long as the profile gives me a bit more to go on... However a blank profile with no message content is a straight delete.
I get why people do it as so many messages to unanswered on here. It must be so frustrating to spend time drafting a unique a message which covers the profile just to get deleted as, as has been said above, even a well structured message isn't guaranteed a reply.
Also, I don't really buy into the whole 'they should tell me why I should meet them' as that's my decision to make! Profiles may match in principle, but attraction can't be accounted for. Fortunately though we all free to use the site as we please, some will use the 'hi' message as a filtering tool and some will see them as an introduction |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"what's wrong with asking how somebody is as an introduction? I read so many profiles where people seem to be offended by this polite opening line."
Have to admit, I find it incredibly intrusive when a complete stranger says 'how are you?'. I mean they don't know me, yet I'm expected to tell them that I'm tired, or have a cold, or am feeling in good spirits. But I hate it when I get asked how I am in the Tesco check-out, though in that situation I will normally say 'fine'. Should we say 'fine thanks' to random men saying 'how are you'? What would that achieve? Im afraid mindless small talk just doesn't make us feel sexually excited.
Mrs |
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