FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Time wasters

Time wasters

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Just a little rant.

I know lady's and couples are flooded with messages and I don't expect a reply saying no thanks.

But when you get a reply, have a good conversation, swap kik or other details.. And then they stop chatting to you, ignore your messages etc. Ive not been rude or message to much yet they stop.

All it takes is a sorry changed or minds. But to ignore and delete you after that is rude

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Men to this too. I'm afraid it's the nature of the beast.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sorry - "do"

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman over a year ago
Forum Mod

My Own Little World

Not a time waster.

Someone who arranges a meet and doesn't show is a timewaster, ignoring people they don't want to meet is someone who has read the site FAQs:

https://www.fabswingers.com/articles/FAQ#noreply

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We have had this too. We always reply to mesgs and even when things have changed and we do say actually it's thanks but reconsidered etc etc. We just get a torrent of abuse. It certainly is the nature of the beast.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Is not ignoring an initial message though. And maybe time wasters is wrong word. This couple give me the kik for both of them. And seemed eager to meet. Over a few hours of chatting back and forth and I had said if either change their mind at any point just say and I politely leave it no problem. It's just rude and not needed

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I know this. They are just as rude. Only mention it from my perspective as haven't been chatting to men

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By *olliPineCouple over a year ago

swingers clubs

Perhaps they're just bored of the convo if there's no talk of an actual meet?

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By *arnsleycouple7683Couple over a year ago

Barnsley

We're in a convo in Kik at the moment with a couple that we started chatting to, but we strongly suspect is just one person masquerading as two.

Little tell tale signs such as absolutely no banter between the two of them. Just reams of messages from one, then a huge break in the messages, then switching to the other person and reams of messages from them... rinse and repeat.

Whereas hubby and I chat at the same time, so often we post just one after another, which is normal for a group chat.

It just feels really off, so we've backed away from the conversation for the moment.

I realise it may seem a bit rude but we're trying to analyse whether or not we should continue talking, given that we're feeling suspicious about them.

It's a bit of a delicate situation

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Unfortunately OP we are certainly not inundated with messages,and found time wasters lots mainly single guys and yes couples too ,held party last week guest list of 12 couples and two guy ,only three couples turned up no guys ,many Times posted meet for guys and ended in no shows

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We're in a convo in Kik at the moment with a couple that we started chatting to, but we strongly suspect is just one person masquerading as two.

Whereas hubby and I chat at the same time, so often we post just one after another, which is normal for a group chat.

It just feels really off, so we've backed away from the conversation for the moment.

I realise it may seem a bit rude but we're trying to analyse whether or not we should continue talking, given that we're feeling suspicious about them.

It's a bit of a delicate situation

Sounds very reasonable to me x

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"We're in a convo in Kik at the moment with a couple that we started chatting to, but we strongly suspect is just one person masquerading as two.

Whereas hubby and I chat at the same time, so often we post just one after another, which is normal for a group chat.

It just feels really off, so we've backed away from the conversation for the moment.

I realise it may seem a bit rude but we're trying to analyse whether or not we should continue talking, given that we're feeling suspicious about them.

It's a bit of a delicate situation

"
nothing delicate about it, it's one person!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sometimes we get into "conversations" and it's like pulling teeth, all very close ended and hard to know what to say in reply. It's not unknown that I've let a conversation die a death rather than have to find a nice way to say this is far too much like hard work.

Not saying that's the case here but the point is maybe there's something putting them off that they don't know how to raise so are relying on the FAQ thing that no reply is no thanks.

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By *rnortholtMan over a year ago

MIDDLESEX/SUFFOLK

"Sometimes we get into "conversations" and it's like pulling teeth, all very close ended and hard to know what to say in reply. It's not unknown that I've let a conversation die a death rather than have to find a nice way to say this is far too much like hard work.

Not saying that's the case here but the point is maybe there's something putting them off that they don't know how to raise so are relying on the FAQ thing that no reply is no thanks. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Perhaps they're just bored of the convo if there's no talk of an actual meet?

They were up for a meet. They sent me kik id's to carry on chatting. After that message nothing more. Why give me their kik id if they didn't want to talk more.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Perhaps they're just bored of the convo if there's no talk of an actual meet?

They were up for a meet. They sent me kik id's to carry on chatting. After that message nothing more. Why give me their kik id if they didn't want to talk more. "

Did they have veris? I think there a lot of unreal couples and females on here

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is why I have started telling couple's we don't chat much on Kik

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By *xoticMermaidWoman over a year ago

NORTH WEST

I found myself doing this unintentionally...maybe this happened to others? Youre at work, youre cooking tea, youre in the gym, ur driving...u see kik msg, u read it, the other person sees 'R' for read. U have not replied cos work/ur boss just came in? cooking tea/kids are fighting or distracting u, driving - shouldnt really text whilst driving. It does happen doesnt it n I for one after read it at 8am before work n not able to reply til got home at 6pm...does that make me a timewaster or I have to reply n explain this every time. Im a single mum with 2 jobs, fab is not my life. I have friends outside fab, I work lates, I go gym where mobiles are not allowed in the pool area....just dont tarnish everyone just cos they dont reply immediately

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By *othardandfreeMan over a year ago

.here and there

"This is why I have started telling couple's we don't chat much on Kik"

I don't mind if on kik or on here but kik Can be faster for a decent conversation. Cate Id happily chat to you anyplace tho

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I found myself doing this unintentionally...maybe this happened to others? Youre at work, youre cooking tea, youre in the gym, ur driving...u see kik msg, u read it, the other person sees 'R' for read. U have not replied cos work/ur boss just came in? cooking tea/kids are fighting or distracting u, driving - shouldnt really text whilst driving. It does happen doesnt it n I for one after read it at 8am before work n not able to reply til got home at 6pm...does that make me a timewaster or I have to reply n explain this every time. Im a single mum with 2 jobs, fab is not my life. I have friends outside fab, I work lates, I go gym where mobiles are not allowed in the pool area....just dont tarnish everyone just cos they dont reply immediately"

Exactly. Not to mention on thw reverse side. When home time comes and you have lots of messages from the same people. I personally start feeling a lot uncomfortable and in some cases stalked...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I really hate the way that all these ways of modern communication have to be instant - you want instant, meet in person and have a real-life conversation/encounter!

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple over a year ago

Halifax

Maybe they gave you kik ids to chat more and decide if they wanted a meet.

People change their minds op,or life gets in the way etc.

Miss

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Not a time waster.

Someone who arranges a meet and doesn't show is a timewaster, ignoring people they don't want to meet is someone who has read the site FAQs:

https://www.fabswingers.com/articles/FAQ#noreply"

This

Timewasters arrange meets and dont turn up.

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By *lorious hole bs16Man over a year ago

Bristol

I am shocked at how many older guys arrange meets and then fail to show up..

I have given up trying to understand why they do this..

I report then block.

No second chances unless they have a valid reason..

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Exactly. Not to mention on thw reverse side. When home time comes and you have lots of messages from the same people. I personally start feeling a lot uncomfortable and in some cases stalked...

I sent one message in kik to each saying hi, profile name, nice to chat to you. And left it at that. I'm not the pushy type. I don't and tons of messages even if read.

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By *rincessfWoman over a year ago

Birmingham

The nature of the beast indeed. It needs to be taken in hand and tamed or obliterated altogether. I now think of it this way, those rude, time wasting people are not worth the time and effort and lets face it, lack the class and manners that I deserve.

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By *xoticMermaidWoman over a year ago

NORTH WEST

Exactly. Not to mention on thw reverse side. When home time comes and you have lots of messages from the same people. I personally start feeling a lot uncomfortable and in some cases stalked...

I sent one message in kik to each saying hi, profile name, nice to chat to you. And left it at that. I'm not the pushy type. I don't and tons of messages even if read. "

I use kik purely to stay in touch, build a bit of chemistry before jumping straight into a 'meet tonight'. I dont do last minute n it gets on my nerves wen guys swap kik n they then show true colours of constantly asking for pics n if u dont...a load of abuse about its fab, its sex site etc. Some of us ladies ARE ladies n like to keep our modesty to those who we actually meet

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just a little rant.

I know lady's and couples are flooded with messages and I don't expect a reply saying no thanks.

But when you get a reply, have a good conversation, swap kik or other details.. And then they stop chatting to you, ignore your messages etc. Ive not been rude or message to much yet they stop.

All it takes is a sorry changed or minds. But to ignore and delete you after that is rude

"
well I'm genuine would like someone genuine to chat as most seem fake on here couples seem to be mainly males without females permission chancers

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just a little rant.

I know lady's and couples are flooded with messages and I don't expect a reply saying no thanks.

But when you get a reply, have a good conversation, swap kik or other details.. And then they stop chatting to you, ignore your messages etc. Ive not been rude or message to much yet they stop.

All it takes is a sorry changed or minds. But to ignore and delete you after that is rude

We've had a few guys go silent on us. Not very many, but when it happens we assume they've concluded we are not for them at that moment in time. As long as a meet hasn't been put in the diary, we wouldn't have wanted them to message and say they've changed their minds - that kind of rubs in in. No we'd much rather slip away with our dignity that be formerly rejected.

Mrs

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

"Just a little rant.

I know lady's and couples are flooded with messages and I don't expect a reply saying no thanks.

But when you get a reply, have a good conversation, swap kik or other details.. And then they stop chatting to you, ignore your messages etc. Ive not been rude or message to much yet they stop.

All it takes is a sorry changed or minds. But to ignore and delete you after that is rude

Mrs "

On the general point I agree, but with single guys, I think it's very rarely the case they are rejecting you per second. Either they wanted a wank chat and you aren't playing ball or they are attached and had an attack of guilt.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

Për së not për second!

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By *abrielle247Couple (FF) over a year ago

PDI Gran Canaria

Just a suggestion but if you don't have a profile photo it probably makes it harder to receive any reply's or be taken seriously I guess.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"Just a suggestion but if you don't have a profile photo it probably makes it harder to receive any reply's or be taken seriously I guess."

He didn't say he was having trouble getting a reply initially

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

To the OP, I think you are right, if you have been chatting about arranging a meet and change your mind, then I think it is polite to let people know. I wouldn't call them timewasters though

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I often have "couples" message me for a chat to see if I am interested in a meet. In the early days I used to spend ages talking to these people but when things moved to meeting they suddenly shut up. It didn't take long to realise it was a bloke.

Now if a couple message me I will usually ask to speak to the wife pretty quickly. If they are real (and serious) then that is good. If they are not a real couple then it kills the conversation nice and early.

Personally I would like the site to come up with some kind of reputation metric to identify if it is blokes or a couple you are talking.

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By *inful xWoman over a year ago

In a sleepy little village

"Just a little rant.

I know lady's and couples are flooded with messages and I don't expect a reply saying no thanks.

But when you get a reply, have a good conversation, swap kik or other details.. And then they stop chatting to you, ignore your messages etc. Ive not been rude or message to much yet they stop.

All it takes is a sorry changed or minds. But to ignore and delete you after that is rude

Unfortunately this happens a lot. It is rude just to ghost the person however not everyone will have the manners that you would hope for. It's happened to me on many occasion. Often you can see the signs in the conversation , replies get shorter, long gaps between replies etc etc. Cut it off dead and move on

plenty more people to chat too and meet

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i get called a timewaster all the time and to get called this all i have to do is say ..no thanks ..then a few secs later a message saying timewaster

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A couple wanted to meet me because they were staying in my area for the weekend, turned out they only wanted to use my house without me there. When I said no I was called a timewaster and then ghosted

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By *un bbw loverMan over a year ago

coventry

"Men to this too. I'm afraid it's the nature of the beast."

both men and women do this and couples even when arranged a meet it has happed to me way too many times but i did the grown up thing and forgive them for it

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

They get two chances with me.

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By *ink magnolia s yorksWoman over a year ago

south yorkshire

Biggest reason I stop replying and block is the men aren't taking the hint of a polite no thanks and keep messaging me anyway going on and on trying to convince me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You mean you actually open mail from single men? That's a first here

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