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Introducing partner to watching porn
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So decided to try and get my partner to be a bit more adventurous
She very shy, we have very boring sex and I’d like to try watching some porn together
Anyone have any tips? |
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By *edheadjMan
over a year ago
High Wycombe |
"Have a chat with her. To be honest some porn has the effect of leaving me stone cold so be aware it may have the opposite effect to the one you want"
This. Speak to her first to see whether she'd be interested in the idea. If she is, then put some time aside for you two to sit down and browse together to see if anything takes her fancy. By all means show her videos that you like and why you like them, but as a first step let her lead the way. |
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"So decided to try and get my partner to be a bit more adventurous
She very shy, we have very boring sex and I’d like to try watching some porn together
Anyone have any tips? "
"Boring sex" --- dear Mr Kink. The term boring sex means that as a couple are not communicating with each other about your sexual wants desires and needs.
Perhaps you both need to look into this before venturing into viewing porn or being on fab without each other. |
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"So decided to try and get my partner to be a bit more adventurous
She very shy, we have very boring sex and I’d like to try watching some porn together
Anyone have any tips? "
I would avoid this like the plague. If she is shy then she already has confidence issues. Showing her footage of idealistic ladies who may have had surgery doing impossible sex acts is only going to reconfirm any confidence issues.
Also the fact you think the sex is boring will not help either.
If it's someone you care about then you could look at ways to boost her self esteem and self image, as opposed to encouraging her to perform sexual Olympics.
Find out her sexual desires and work with them, that maybe something along the lines of being made a lovely candlelit meal with both of you dressed elegantly (not slutty) then being made slow love to on the living room floor with some sexy music playing in the background.
But you will need to talk to her about how seduction works best for her. |
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"That’s for the positive feedback, I appreciate we need to communicate and that’s what I’d like to achieve but how the he’ll do I bring it up!? "
Next time you're making love whisper in her ear that you'd love to watch some porn with her, or pour two glasses of wine, sit down together and say you watched a really sexy clip would she like to see it, or say you'd love to experiment a bit and would find it a real turn on if you watched some porn together. Emphasise that it's both your pleasure you're interested in and do it lovingly |
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"That’s for the positive feedback, I appreciate we need to communicate and that’s what I’d like to achieve but how the he’ll do I bring it up!?
Next time you're making love whisper in her ear that you'd love to watch some porn with her, or pour two glasses of wine, sit down together and say you watched a really sexy clip would she like to see it, or say you'd love to experiment a bit and would find it a real turn on if you watched some porn together. Emphasise that it's both your pleasure you're interested in and do it lovingly"
THIS ! Or maybe film yourselves to watch again later.
Don’t just upload something like “ultimate anal gangbang” |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That’s for the positive feedback, I appreciate we need to communicate and that’s what I’d like to achieve but how the he’ll do I bring it up!?
Next time you're making love whisper in her ear that you'd love to watch some porn with her, or pour two glasses of wine, sit down together and say you watched a really sexy clip would she like to see it, or say you'd love to experiment a bit and would find it a real turn on if you watched some porn together. Emphasise that it's both your pleasure you're interested in and do it lovingly"
And don't go straight for anal orgies with teens, aliens and farm machinery! Find some subtler couples friendlier porn with lots of smiling and a gentler approach.. |
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We had a meet at a guys house, he put porn on without asking, it happened to be something I really don't like watching. It offended him that I didn't like it and turned me right off. That's why communication is important, just he'd just asked we could have found a compromise |
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"That’s for the positive feedback, I appreciate we need to communicate and that’s what I’d like to achieve but how the he’ll do I bring it up!?
Next time you're making love whisper in her ear that you'd love to watch some porn with her, or pour two glasses of wine, sit down together and say you watched a really sexy clip would she like to see it, or say you'd love to experiment a bit and would find it a real turn on if you watched some porn together. Emphasise that it's both your pleasure you're interested in and do it lovingly
And don't go straight for anal orgies with teens, aliens and farm machinery! Find some subtler couples friendlier porn with lots of smiling and a gentler approach.. "
She might like that. It's why talking to the actual person is important rather than strangers. None of us know what she will like |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Perhaps your attention needs to be on your wife rather than your own needs.
1 communication
2. Communication
3. As 1 and 2
Porn does nowt for me... Affection does.
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
You could tell her that you had a really sexy dream....and discuss something that you think would turn her on. Then ask if she could choose a sexy dream what would it be about or which celeb would be in it .
Have you ever had a chat about fantasies ?
Best to start with fun and relaxed sexy conversations. Maybe move onto porn later. She might hate it. Might have already watched it and it did nothing for her. Not all women like watching porn. You find it sexy and she maybe is turned off by it.
Handle the chat carefully , or she will think she is not good enough for you , because you are getting your pleasure elsewhere ( which being on fab is the truth).
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I get that some men ask a bit clumsily but I don't think its wrong to try and get advice on how to improve your sex life together. Granted the answer is often to talk to your partner but if someone gains a little more understanding it's good that they've asked surely |
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By *WillowxWoman
over a year ago
Oo err Devon |
Have to agree with a few others and say that porn may not be a good starter..
I always find sunday morning lay ins (or any other day for that matter) a great place to chat with my partner...
Some days we don't up leaving the bed as we get so horny talki g about what we want to do... But it didn't start that way...
How about suggesting some things that you would like to do to her.. Start slow!! Or that you would like to see her do... She's only going to become less shy if you give her Confidence... So tell her when you like something she does... Help her or show her if something isn't quite right ans indicate with words moans and body language when she is on pointe!
I love hearing my partner moan with pleasure! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think communication is the key and personally I don't like porn full stop, along with a few of my female friends so just be aware that it might not have your desired effect |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How about doing a massage course together? A great way to practice, starting off in a non-sexual way? It's a thing to do together and might build confidence together? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Agree with all of the above re talking. There are some great female sex positive bloggers and social media figures around such as Girl on the Net. Do some research on these and introduce her to them. This becomes a way of talking about fantasies, likes and dislikes. Many women aren’t as visual as men. Written material may be more of a turn on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Porn does absolutely fuck all for me unless I'm watching myself.
For me it's the seduction, the dance, the playfulness, the feeling wanted, the feeling sexy.... not being told or shown the someone else that's turning them on.
P |
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Her porn interest may be very different to yours op, so be prepared to only pursue what she may be interested in, if she is.
If you are doing it to pursue a better sex life, there may be better ways.
Communicate is always a key part of a good relationship and sex life, so focus on this. There has to be trust and no pressure, so explore only when there's no expectation to induce someone to do something. Have lots of time and prove that you are trustworthy and have her best interests at heart.
Invest in your time together. Be supportive and affectionate and always listen.
Lots of small steps to take. Why rush to get to watch porn? There must be lots to talk about, her feelings on many things, including what you could do better for her as a partner and friend. Do those things and help to prove that you are worthy of her trust. You will also need to be open and honest too, otherwise it's unfair. Progressive steps towards a more open and loving relationship. |
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Porn Def not the answer OP . Like everyone says already . Perhaps you both need to understand that for whatever reason you are having bad/ boring etc sex because you aren't communicating properly with eachother outside of the ' normal' relationship .
Trust me! diving into porn and acres of naughty nakedness as an answer will most likely fail . I should know ..it happened to me . Don't make same mistake . Forget porn completely that's your idea and what you want .Did you consider she might have body image issues ? Porn definitely not a good idea !
If you can bugger off for the weekend somewhere nice ,hotel etc .
Find a moment when you are both relaxed and happy to talk . Perhaps on a walk out somewhere or quiet corner in a pub etc
Try asking her how she feels about your relationship/ life together in general ,prompt for tips and ideas . Introduce date nights etc ..all that stuff men are still supposed to do after 20 years of marriage ( which I didn't) .
Maybe through talking you will get in better ,end up having great sex and then be adventurous enough to try some other things . Porn being just one .
Also if I'm being honest you probably shouldn't be on Fab unless your wife is fully aware of that ? It is surely a ticket part way to the divorce courts if she doesn't !
Good luck ! |
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"So decided to try and get my partner to be a bit more adventurous
She very shy, we have very boring sex and I’d like to try watching some porn together
Anyone have any tips? "
From your profile you've obviously got a lot of sexual preferences she's unaware of; you aren't communicating with her; your sex life is boring; you're on fab presumably without her knowledge...I'd say its time to ask yourself whether this relationship is really any good for either of you. |
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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago
Lincolnshire |
You might be better starting with some erotica rather than porn. There are a number of good films that include threesomes etc. - a better environment to induce conversation than watching some dude bashing some woman's back doors in. |
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