FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Sex with someone you don't fancy?
Sex with someone you don't fancy?
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Yes and no!
Yes, as in I have done in the past, back when I used to meet 'blind' - there were a few occasions when I didn't find the women I'd gone to meet attractive, but played with them anyway...
....no, as in there were a couple of instances back then when it simply wasn't going to happen, and I made excuses and left...
....and no, as in for years now I won't meet without having seen photos first - despite not exactly being overwhelmed with offers, I have turned down a few 'dead certs' because I didn't find them attractive...
....likewise, I'm sure over the years there have been women I've played with who didn't find me attractive - I'm no oil painting!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Preferably there is some attraction for anything to happen or definitely needs loads of stimulation mentally to get into the mood...cant switch on and just perform for just anyone thats for sure even at clubs or parties.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve had sex with female friends before after crazy nights out where we don’t ‘fancy’ each other but were horny after a session on the beer lol fun night and absolutely no awkwardness since. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Never.
Well yes I get horny, but sleeping with someone i didn't find attractive wouldn't be enjoyable for me."
Likewise. Added to that I need to be mentally attracted too. |
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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago
Catthorpe |
"Yes - at clubs and parties - IF they're really nice people, and we get on really well.
Personality can override looks (for us anyway)"
Have to agree. Initially not attracted but got on like a house on fire, became attracted to them as a whole. Some of the best sex ever experienced, did ALOT of things   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah, think it's a different mind set at clubs...
The moment and all that x
Alcohol and clubs seem to change the parameters"
I don't drink when my mindset is to play!
Don't know about others! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No. It might not be the conventional physical attraction but for me there must be attraction on some level. I'm not that desperate for the ride to fuck someone who does nothing for me |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes - at clubs and parties - IF they're really nice people, and we get on really well.
Personality can override looks (for us anyway)
Have to agree. Initially not attracted but got on like a house on fire, became attracted to them as a whole. Some of the best sex ever experienced, did ALOT of things "
Yeah I think personality can trump looks a lot of the time.
Are those emojis examples of the faces you made when you met? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Once... Never ever again... The phrase "lay back and think of England" came into mind... Yuck "
That is actually a really awful thing to say! Definitely a phrase from a bygone era |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"However, I slept with guys I got on amazingly well but they weren't my usual type and we had fun sex. But the best sex is ones you really physically attracted to and get on well with  "
This is the only reason I get laid because they find me funny :p |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Once... Never ever again... The phrase "lay back and think of England" came into mind... Yuck
That is actually a really awful thing to say! Definitely a phrase from a bygone era "
Our Jas needs to invest in hoods, that's all
Haha x |
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Like being really hungry, so hungry that if all that's available is a pot noodle you'll even way that?
Never happened but I can see how it would. I hope I've never been someone's pot noodle though. |
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"Once... Never ever again... The phrase "lay back and think of England" came into mind... Yuck
That is actually a really awful thing to say! Definitely a phrase from a bygone era "
Lesson learnt. Never be desperate and choose carefully |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Once... Never ever again... The phrase "lay back and think of England" came into mind... Yuck
That is actually a really awful thing to say! Definitely a phrase from a bygone era
Lesson learnt. Never be desperate and choose carefully "
That should be the tag line for this website |
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No. Neither of us are willing to sleep with people we're not attracted to.
Whoever said about personality can over rule looks, you're then attracted to the personality.. so there's still attraction.
Personality is important to us. We like to play with people we get on with, as well as are attracted to. |
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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago
Catthorpe |
"Yes - at clubs and parties - IF they're really nice people, and we get on really well.
Personality can override looks (for us anyway)
Have to agree. Initially not attracted but got on like a house on fire, became attracted to them as a whole. Some of the best sex ever experienced, did ALOT of things
Yeah I think personality can trump looks a lot of the time.
Are those emojis examples of the faces you made when you met?"
Just thinking of the stuff that occurred, a bit too rude for fab, a bit extreme. |
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"Do you ever get horny and have sex with someone you don't find attractive? "
It’s a tricky one as we’ve met people that we initially didn’t find attractive. But after a couple of hours in their company the first impression changes and the more you get to know people the more attractive they can become. Another reason I like a social first or if never have sex with anyone! 
Mrs J  x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Never.
Well yes I get horny, but sleeping with someone i didn't find attractive wouldn't be enjoyable for me.
Even with your eyes closed lol :p"
Even then! |
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If i can maintain an erection, there must be something that i find attractive about them subconsiously
Ive been to a group meet where one bloke, to be blunt, was a bit of a horror. I studiously avoided him despite him eyeing me up when he arrived. |
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"Yes - at clubs and parties - IF they're really nice people, and we get on really well.
Personality can override looks (for us anyway)"
I can’t get my head around that ...
I have to fancy someone to get turned on otherwise it’s just sex for the sake of sex ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes - at clubs and parties - IF they're really nice people, and we get on really well.
Personality can override looks (for us anyway)
I can’t get my head around that ...
I have to fancy someone to get turned on otherwise it’s just sex for the sake of sex ? "
Yeah same here... if I don't fancy someone, I'll not be able to get hard, and it won't happen |
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"Do you ever get horny and have sex with someone you don't find attractive? "
I could never sleep with someone I did t fancy, even if they had a beautiful body,etx etc. If the spark ain't there then that's it for me.x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you ever get horny and have sex with someone you don't find attractive?
It’s a tricky one as we’ve met people that we initially didn’t find attractive. But after a couple of hours in their company the first impression changes and the more you get to know people the more attractive they can become. Another reason I like a social first or if never have sex with anyone!
Mrs J x"
Nicely put.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes - at clubs and parties - IF they're really nice people, and we get on really well.
Personality can override looks (for us anyway)
Have to agree. Initially not attracted but got on like a house on fire, became attracted to them as a whole. Some of the best sex ever experienced, did ALOT of things
Yeah I think personality can trump looks a lot of the time.
Are those emojis examples of the faces you made when you met?
Just thinking of the stuff that occurred, a bit too rude for fab, a bit extreme."
Too rude for fab! Wow |
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No surprises but mainly single men would and women/couples wouldn't unless d*unk (consent?)
- if you don't find ANYTHING attractive - physical or personality - what do you get out of it?
For the record - we wouldn't.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No surprises but mainly single men would and women/couples wouldn't unless d*unk (consent?)
- if you don't find ANYTHING attractive - physical or personality - what do you get out of it?
For the record - we wouldn't.
"
I think maybe they mean beer goggles make people more attractive and lower your inhibitions? |
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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago
Sandwich |
I have had some of the worst sex ever with people I found very physically attractive. I have had some of the best sex ever with those I wasn’t initially attracted to.
However, I have to find them likeable in some way.
If they’re a great shag they become more attractive   |
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"I have had some of the worst sex ever with people I found very physically attractive. I have had some of the best sex ever with those I wasn’t initially attracted to.
However, I have to find them likeable in some way.
If they’re a great shag they become more attractive "
exactly this! Glad we're not the only ones |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me it was when I was with a FB & he would invite anyone over for a meet & I always felt i had to go with them I didn’t enjoy it I am now single & got rid of the FB & now I can choose who I want to meet will never let myself get in that situation again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes - at clubs and parties - IF they're really nice people, and we get on really well.
Personality can override looks (for us anyway)"
Which means you are attracted to them on a sapiosexual level, hubby is like that he is more attracted to a ladies personality than looks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In the far past, i did it under pressure from who i was with at the time. was NOT enjoyable at all...
Now if i don't feel attracted nothing going to happen no matter how horny i am... prefer to just fuck me fella or just grab some toys out.... |
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By *cac9186Couple
over a year ago
london |
Yeah we do most of the time as long we get along and you down too earth horny like is us we be down for some naughty fun we not here for looks and relationships we have each other for that we here for naughty fun please wink us or message us down for some fun in London |
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"For me it was when I was with a FB & he would invite anyone over for a meet & I always felt i had to go with them I didn’t enjoy it I am now single & got rid of the FB & now I can choose who I want to meet will never let myself get in that situation again "
That’s not much of a relationship. |
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By *ab jamesMan
over a year ago
ribble valley |
Whether someone is attractive to me or not, doesn't influence my choice of bed partner. How they talk, laugh, how friendly they are, etc, means far more to me. Good looking doesn't always equate good in bed. Experience is far more important. After all, this is fab, not elite singles |
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"Do you ever get horny and have sex with someone you don't find attractive?
It’s a tricky one as we’ve met people that we initially didn’t find attractive. But after a couple of hours in their company the first impression changes and the more you get to know people the more attractive they can become. Another reason I like a social first or if never have sex with anyone!
Mrs J x"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Whether someone is attractive to me or not, doesn't influence my choice of bed partner. How they talk, laugh, how friendly they are, etc, means far more to me. Good looking doesn't always equate good in bed. Experience is far more important. After all, this is fab, not elite singles "
Attraction isn't just looks tho... And my idea of good looking is different to others so... The men I have been with don't all look the same... But I found them all very attractive for different reasons |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Whether someone is attractive to me or not, doesn't influence my choice of bed partner. How they talk, laugh, how friendly they are, etc, means far more to me. Good looking doesn't always equate good in bed. Experience is far more important. After all, this is fab, not elite singles
Attraction isn't just looks tho... And my idea of good looking is different to others so... The men I have been with don't all look the same... But I found them all very attractive for different reasons "
Exactly this. Attraction is subjective and multifaceted, and can grow over time. |
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Isn’t it sometimes about what you’re doing rather than who?
Regular playmates, we think there needs to be an attraction.
In a club, sometimes isn’t it just about everyone being happy to fulfill each other’s desires and needs in the moment?
Couples or singles who are polite and respectful are attractive so to be speak.
There are people you may consider physically attractive in clubs who think because you are there you are fair game, that isn’t attractive. |
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"Isn’t it sometimes about what you’re doing rather than who?
Regular playmates, we think there needs to be an attraction."
One of the women who I visited 'blind' and didn't really fancy, but ended up playing with anyway actually turned into a 'regular' playmate...
....although she wasn't really my 'type', nor me hers (she liked well-built rugby player normally), we simply hit it off between the sheets...
....to the point that I visited her two or three times a month for almost a year, and usually stayed overnight...
....I'd arrive late at night after her kids were in bed, and leave after they'd gone to school - it was all about the sex, nothing more...  |
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"Some people go as much on personality as looks to be honest if someone is so good looking but no personality I doubt we would ever meet them in the first place
As for me the Male half here I would say it’s never my looks get me a play unlike my other half "
This pretty much describes us, there is so much more to sexual attraction than looks and physique, although those things do count to some extent. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've played with women I've not fancied. Only because when I've arrived for the meet they haven't resembled their profile pic and magically aged and put weight on. Like a rabbit caught in headlights and being British. I didn't want to say something to upset them!!So I went through with the situation hoping for it to end quick!! Unfortunately it didnt and I've even faked an orgasm just to end it. Which for a bloke is a tough thing to do.  |
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One of my kinkiest fantasies is to be stripped naked by a sexy domme, led collared into a room and be made to fuck with a woman chosen by my domme or the womans master, irrespective of who she was, and whether I fancied her or she fancied me !
Different dynamic from what the OP means I think, but YES I would ! |
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"Yep it's all good for practice and who knows it may be you best sex ever. "
We have rolled around on a bed with 12 to 15 people didn’t even ask there names just got on with it and had a damn good horny time have done it many times it’s what swinging should be all about in our book |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yep it's all good for practice and who knows it may be you best sex ever.
We have rolled around on a bed with 12 to 15 people didn’t even ask there names just got on with it and had a damn good horny time have done it many times it’s what swinging should be all about in our book "
Me too...
Wouldn't recognise those faces again....
Haha love it! |
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"So all the NO answers on this thread would never use a glory hole male or female then and would not engage with any other in a orgy if they hadn’t chatted or had dinner and drinks with wow the swinger world is doomed if that is the future in my opinion
"
Not really
People ‘swing’ in all different ways
If everyone was the same hoe boring would it be
Plus it’s not a new thing, the Romans liked to swing. I’m sure there were ones that selectively picked their hook ups just as ones that embroiled in a mass of bodies
No set rules how you do it ... |
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The short answer... yes!
I dont think it has anything to do with being desperate or low standards etc I dont understand that mind set. Well I do but I'm not going into that!!
As several have mentioned, when you get to know someone, physical attraction fades away. I've had sex with guys who are incredibly attractive (to me anyway) and it's been the worst sex ever. I've had sex with guys who I've initially not found attractive and had amazing sex!
I guess it just means that some of us are less superficial and shallow. |
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"For meets no, there must be strong attraction.
At a club or party, that's what doggy is for lol "
I wouldn't meet with someone I found unattractive for a 1 to1 but in a club setting when I'm feeling greedy then why not as long as they are clean!
In fact I once had an encounter with a chap in a dark room with someone I couldn't really see but his touch was lovely, such soft skin!
We played for a while and he was very tactile, when we got down to it he wasn't a 'big' guy at all but by this point he had brought me off so we carried on.
He took his time and got me off a couple more times before he finally came. When we walked out he looked just like Mr burns from the Simpsons.
I wouldn't have played with him if he asked but in that dark room he was in his element! |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
There are different types of attraction, I have had sex with people that aren't my type physically but I have a mental attraction to them. There must be some attraction, it doesn't necessarily have to be physical. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No, not at all. And for me it's needs to be more of a facial attraction than anything. Like not everyone needs to have a 6 pack, it's the face that matters most to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have had some of the worst sex ever with people I found very physically attractive. I have had some of the best sex ever with those I wasn’t initially attracted to.
However, I have to find them likeable in some way.
If they’re a great shag they become more attractive "
Couldnt have said it better myself! |
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