FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Why message when you have nothing to say?
Why message when you have nothing to say?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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them: How are you?
me : good thanks, you?
them : good thanks
Seriously what is the point? If you mail someone you should at least expect to lead the conversation for at least a few messages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"them: How are you?
me : good thanks, you?
them : good thanks
Seriously what is the point? If you mail someone you should at least expect to lead the conversation for at least a few messages."
Totally agree what is the point in a message 'how are you' totally pointless |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"them: How are you?
me : good thanks, you?
them : good thanks
Seriously what is the point? If you mail someone you should at least expect to lead the conversation for at least a few messages."
Personally it just shows that IRL they wouldn’t be a great fit so it helps going forward.
T |
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Because a lot of people are low investment in the hope of a high return. It’s also likely a numbers game. Send enough msgs and maybe someone will reply... maybe.
For us, you get out what you put in  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"them: How are you?
me : good thanks, you?
them : good thanks
Seriously what is the point? If you mail someone you should at least expect to lead the conversation for at least a few messages."
It can be annoying, but I guess quite a high percentage of people are not good at breaking the ice and are simply testing the water. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have the issue of I ask people if they want to chat and if I get a simple reply like “sure” it really stumps me because I start thinking that’s how the rest is going to be |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Them: How're you?
Me: Fine thanks. How're you?
Them: Im horny
That conversation exchange boils my piss. 
I suppose the art is to ask open ended questions and be capable of conversing about topics other than sex |
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I sometimes enjoy going well over the top on my replies.
They send a 3 word message, I’ll reply with 4 or 5 paragraphs.
They send another 1 line reply, and I’ll do another long reply.
It can be amusing for a bit.
Then they seen surprised when we politely decline.
- John |
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"Better nothing to say than, 'I have and money will abuse you' ... which is the latest introductory chestnut we have received!! 
It's nearly as bad as when asking what someone likes sexually (to ensure everyone gets what they want from meeting) and then being told they will do anything or whatever we want they will be into...really should reply to say M will be bending them over whilst L films and see if it's true!!  "
My last msg just minutes ago " me and my fella we would rim the out from you x" to be true i even don't know what this in reality means  |
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"Better nothing to say than, 'I have and money will abuse you' ... which is the latest introductory chestnut we have received!!
It's nearly as bad as when asking what someone likes sexually (to ensure everyone gets what they want from meeting) and then being told they will do anything or whatever we want they will be into...really should reply to say M will be bending them over whilst L films and see if it's true!!
My last msg just minutes ago " me and my fella we would rim the out from you x" to be true i even don't know what this in reality means "
Would guess it’s a single man using couples profile saying he straight but really fancies a tv ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It takes at least 2 people to make a conversation "
im glad someone said that, u have to take it from the mans point of view too ,countless messages and no reply can make u a bit drained
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"them: How are you?
me : good thanks, you?
them : good thanks
Seriously what is the point? If you mail someone you should at least expect to lead the conversation for at least a few messages."
At least 10 times today alone. Just makes me wonder what were they expecting to happen? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Them: How're you?
Me: Fine thanks. How're you?
Them: Im horny
That conversation exchange boils my piss.
I suppose the art is to ask open ended questions and be capable of conversing about topics other than sex "
I usually end that type of conversation with a good luck with that x |
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"Better nothing to say than, 'I have and money will abuse you' ... which is the latest introductory chestnut we have received!!
It's nearly as bad as when asking what someone likes sexually (to ensure everyone gets what they want from meeting) and then being told they will do anything or whatever we want they will be into...really should reply to say M will be bending them over whilst L films and see if it's true!!
My last msg just minutes ago " me and my fella we would rim the out from you x" to be true i even don't know what this in reality means
Would guess it’s a single man using couples profile saying he straight but really fancies a tv ? "
Actually is a bi couples profile , can be that they really fancy a pre op transgender woman |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"them: How are you?
me : good thanks, you?
them : good thanks
Seriously what is the point? If you mail someone you should at least expect to lead the conversation for at least a few messages."
The one we get most is
Hi.
Hi.
What are you up to tonight.
Watching a film.
What film.
Explain which one. Then no reply
Or the other is,
What you up to.
Got grandkids over.
Fancy a meet with us tonight.
Cant sorry grandkids are here.
Oh. Then no further reply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Better nothing to say than, 'I have and money will abuse you' ... which is the latest introductory chestnut we have received!!
It's nearly as bad as when asking what someone likes sexually (to ensure everyone gets what they want from meeting) and then being told they will do anything or whatever we want they will be into...really should reply to say M will be bending them over whilst L films and see if it's true!!
My last msg just minutes ago " me and my fella we would rim the out from you x" to be true i even don't know what this in reality means "
Our rule is thumb is if you are already on here and don't know a term then don't google! |
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By *rad670Man
over a year ago
South Lakes |
Glad to see it's not just men and not just me that has these one way conversations, I will usually give the benefit of the doubt for a few messages but you need something in return to work with so after a few 3 word replies it seems pointless. All we have had is conversation to look forward to and so many didn't seize the opportunity. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont even get a reply if im honest and i try and make convo think because theres that many fake profiles on here some people dont believe you are genuine |
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"them: How are you?
me : good thanks, you?
them : good thanks
Seriously what is the point? If you mail someone you should at least expect to lead the conversation for at least a few messages."
Agree, to an extent.
How are you messages are really dull, aren’t they. But the first message is difficult. What can one add to one’s profile that isn’t a bit trite? Sometimes there’s something good to say, but often not.
And as for leading the conversation - if the conversation dries up, it dries up. |
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"I have the issue of I ask people if they want to chat and if I get a simple reply like “sure” it really stumps me because I start thinking that’s how the rest is going to be"
When I get such " hi, with to chat, then the sender is obviously full of chat.
So I'll be like sure chat away.
To then be asked what do I want yo chat about...
Hang on didn't you just ask me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah sometimes its hard to think of a ice breaker especially when your trying to speak to new people that you dont actually know what subjects interest them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find conversations like them really irritating. It's like pulling teeth.
If I'm messaging someone cold and it's not a message about a particular post or thread, I would usually write a message.
Hi. My name is archie and my wife is Darcy. It's lovely to meet you. We noticed that you are local (or are going to x event) and we really like your profile. We were wondering if you would like to chat?
Something like that isn't hard to do
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find conversations like them really irritating. It's like pulling teeth.
If I'm messaging someone cold and it's not a message about a particular post or thread, I would usually write a message.
Hi. My name is archie and my wife is Darcy. It's lovely to meet you. We noticed that you are local (or are going to x event) and we really like your profile. We were wondering if you would like to chat?
Something like that isn't hard to do
"
That message is like pulling teeth.
Basically says do you want to chat.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find conversations like them really irritating. It's like pulling teeth.
If I'm messaging someone cold and it's not a message about a particular post or thread, I would usually write a message.
Hi. My name is archie and my wife is Darcy. It's lovely to meet you. We noticed that you are local (or are going to x event) and we really like your profile. We were wondering if you would like to chat?
Something like that isn't hard to do
That message is like pulling teeth.
Basically says do you want to chat...."
I'm surprised you read it correctly.
That's the point of an opening message. Hi do you want to chat. Except it puts a little effort in. You read the profile, and put effort in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find conversations like them really irritating. It's like pulling teeth.
If I'm messaging someone cold and it's not a message about a particular post or thread, I would usually write a message.
Hi. My name is archie and my wife is Darcy. It's lovely to meet you. We noticed that you are local (or are going to x event) and we really like your profile. We were wondering if you would like to chat?
Something like that isn't hard to do
That message is like pulling teeth.
Basically says do you want to chat....I'm surprised you read it correctly.
That's the point of an opening message. Hi do you want to chat. Except it puts a little effort in. You read the profile, and put effort in. "
Back to the relevant point. You saying your name and stating your local is on your profile, but either way. Name , age and want to chat is an effort.
I’d read what interests you have in common, or state what it is that interested you to message them and what you are looking.
That way you have some sort of depth |
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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago
Shangri-la |
It's when they send messages along those lines & then they get pissed off because my response is generally not as enthusiastic as they want (if they get a response at all!).
The very fact that they have messaged at all shows me that they haven't read my current profile! |
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"We get
Them: Hi
Us here we go: hi
Them:How's you?
Us:good thanks, you?
Them: good thanks, are you being naughty?
Us block!
"
Yep, pretty much a daily thing for us, except instead of asking if we're being naughty we get asked "fancy meeting up". |
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By *asha86Couple
over a year ago
walsall |
For us as long as its a pleasant message with not lots of text speak and thought has been put in we reply there have been messages in the past that just grab your attention and you just hit it off but with lockdown it's made a lot of it drawn out with not being able to go for a social. Finger crossed on the up now inbox open for willing participants lol |
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We had this a few times over the weekend. One line greeting and nothing. Vacuous profiles with zero or limited text, one of which couldn't even be bothered to list his interests. What sort of response do these guys expect when they can't even be bothered to compile their own profiles let alone read anyone else's? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like the ones that ask what are you wearing now
Answer clothes
Or can you meet now I'm horny
Answer hell yes I just sit around all day waiting for someone to ask |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wonder if the ratio was reversed with more women than men on this site, how good would the women be with their opening lines, and would they get upset when there get no reply’s ? |
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By *ockforplay66Man
over a year ago
Southampton/isle of wight/ everywhere |
Maybe a slightly different thread, but recently I have found an increasing number of profiles appearing, I message them, they sometimes reply with something very bland (but not a “no I’m not interested”) then their profile is deleted, and 2 days later, the same pics appear in a new profile, different name, slightly different ages etc.
Am I just being thick? I don’t understand why anyone would do it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I first joined as a single male I put decent effort into opening messages most got left unread etc etc, switched it up to a short simple hello and a face pic got more response,  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had a local couple the other day message me with just the word "Hey" so when I replied with a more converse message they just deleted it.
Needless to say they went straight on the block list.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes good conversation is lacking on here"
Yep think it’s dead the art of conversation think it’s a dying form all the messages these days are r u ok all text speak if I’m really honest think it’s my age think just way to old for it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On our profile, we mention we are looking to meet people we can have conversations, laughs, and good times with.
When we send an opening message, we comment on their profile, likes, dislikes, and why we think we would interested to get to know them more. We don't think it's too much to expect the same from someone messaging us first. |
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By *ockforplay66Man
over a year ago
Southampton/isle of wight/ everywhere |
"As a single man input so much thought into my messages and still I get no where
You're not owed a reply. Sometimes you just have to accept you may not be a suitable match in their eyes."
I totally accept I’m not owed a reply, but it’s more the pointless replies that I get frustrated with. Like many, I put thought and time in to my messages. If I get no reply, fine. If I get a “no thanks” reply, that’s actually fine too. It’s the ones that do reply but with such pointless “non messages” I just don’t get |
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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago
Downham Market |
"I have the issue of I ask people if they want to chat..."
We have a bit of an issue here. If we want to chat, we have real friends. We want to know a bit about people with a view to meeting. We don't have the time or patience to keep dozens of chats going, especially when they invariably turn into daily "you been naughty?" messages. |
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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago
Downham Market |
"I had a local couple the other day message me with just the word "Hey" so when I replied with a more converse message they just deleted it."
We actually find it harder work trying to talk to couples on here than single guys. I guess we have more choice of single guys and block a high percentage, but couples do (in our experience) seem to think they don't have to put in as much effort. We get a lot of "Hiya" messages from couples without even the slightest indication of reading our profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just don’t see the point. Do some people not get the way to make conversation. If they can’t message and make conversation how they going to be on a social or meet. |
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I always wonder what the "hi/hey" type message senders expect in return, are they really sitting there expecting us to start the conversation? They messaged us so I'd have thought the onus should be on them to put the effort in to engage us/spark our interest somehow? Invariably such uninspiring messages come from almost blank profiles, which give us absolutely nothing to talk about.
K |
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There is nothing worse than trying to chat to people and they don’t ask a question back.
Conversations appear to be such a problem on here. I wonder how some people meet if they can’t hold a conversation with you.
But as someone mentioned it probably saves us losing time having a social with these people
K |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"them: How are you?
me : good thanks, you?
them : good thanks
Seriously what is the point? If you mail someone you should at least expect to lead the conversation for at least a few messages."
we get loads like this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think for guys on here it is difficult. I do agree with putting in the effort can be rewarding but I think a lot of people forget tonnes of couples/woman go against their “rules” on their profiles and quite a few are only interested in “how big their cock is”.
|
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We get a lot of messages like ‘how are you’ or ‘how’s your day been’ ‘what are you up to ?’ That then transpires to they’ve had both their jabs and it’s safe to meet from the 21st of June (is it ?) and if we fancy a cheeky meet they are available - even though our profile says we are not meeting with the pandemic !
Mostly from single guys or couples where the guy says his wife is ill and she is happy for him to play alone !
I don’t usually block people but had to start because they drive you mad pestering ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We get
Them: Hi
Us here we go: hi
Them:How's you?
Us:good thanks, you?
Them: good thanks, are you being naughty?
Us block!
"
very refreshing to hear I’m not alone ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"them: How are you?
me : good thanks, you?
them : good thanks
Seriously what is the point? If you mail someone you should at least expect to lead the conversation for at least a few messages."
As a single male on here, from my prospective i get many 2/3 word replies followed by ghosting. id imagine my messege is like a drop in the ocean and the reciever cant keep up investing in conversations. But this speaks more for how we are managing messeges.
To hrlp i think messeges from a frequently replied sender shoyld stand out with an extra filter/boarder or something |
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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago
Downham Market |
"I think for guys on here it is difficult. I do agree with putting in the effort can be rewarding but I think a lot of people forget tonnes of couples/woman go against their “rules” on their profiles and quite a few are only interested in “how big their cock is”.
"
I (Char) must be rare then. I really don't care about your cock. Seeing ine picture is enough, just so I know it's kept clean. I'm much more interested in conversation. Had a guy message us who ticks a LOT of boxes, but in the end I told Bry not to bother as he had nothing to say |
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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago
Downham Market |
"We get a lot of messages like ‘how are you’ or ‘how’s your day been’ ‘what are you up to ?’ That then transpires to they’ve had both their jabs and it’s safe to meet from the 21st of June (is it ?) and if we fancy a cheeky meet they are available - even though our profile says we are not meeting with the pandemic !
Mostly from single guys or couples where the guy says his wife is ill and she is happy for him to play alone !
I don’t usually block people but had to start because they drive you mad pestering !"
Ha! Yes. Those 'couples' whose wife can't meet or would rather hear about it afterwards. How many times do we hear that one!! |
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"I think for guys on here it is difficult. I do agree with putting in the effort can be rewarding but I think a lot of people forget tonnes of couples/woman go against their “rules” on their profiles and quite a few are only interested in “how big their cock is”.
"
Although you are right that it is difficult for single guys on here, but surely that just makes it much more important to take the opportunities that arise.
There are so many on here that say "I hardly ever get a reply". If you DO get a message back, then you need to really engage to give yourself any chance of something more.
Cal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We get
Them: Hi
Us here we go: hi
Them:How's you?
Us:good thanks, you?
Them: good thanks, are you being naughty?
Us block!
"
This is how 90% of my conversations go lol  |
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"Also a lot of guys aren’t site supporters, so can’t really keep a conversation going as they can’t see previous messages"
Don’t think it’s just guys who can’t keep conversations going. Some terrible conversationalists on here full stop. Some great ones too, but some awful. |
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