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Coming to terms and agreeing boundaries for hotwifing/vixen lifestyle
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hiya me and my partner have recently been talking about finally starting a couples profile again bit instead of just camming actually start with inviting a male in for some fun, and either watching, joining in or just leaving them both to it and hearing all about it.
If anybody can give some advice my DM is open as id like to have some advice on how you initially startedand setting your boundaries, did you go full on or start woth more boundaries and go from there.
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"Hiya me and my partner have recently been talking about finally starting a couples profile again bit instead of just camming actually start with inviting a male in for some fun, and either watching, joining in or just leaving them both to it and hearing all about it.
If anybody can give some advice my DM is open as id like to have some advice on how you initially startedand setting your boundaries, did you go full on or start woth more boundaries and go from there.
"
As with everything to do with sex open communication is key.
We talked about what we liked (very different to what I would like you to do).
I might say something and she might say she was into it or that it was not something she would enjoy and visa versa.
In terms of meeting others we started slow. If it is your first time bring others into your sex life there can be a few mental hurdles to overcome.
For example: one of my worries was that essentially being open would mean that she would quickly find someone better and I would lose the whole relationship.
Now that may sound silly but it was a concern for me, as you link sex, love and relationships (or at least I did).
So we agreed to same room only and oral (soft swinging to start).
You both may not have these issues and so may go further faster.
But really it's just about going at your own pace and not pushing each other to do more quicker.
If you like it then there will always be another time to try more.
We also think it is useful to talk after. Even after as long as we have been involved we will check in that we both had a good night and enjoyed it.
Over time we have relaxed more but it was a process that took years. This year is the first that bunny has been solo to meet single men, it was probably more to do with opportunity than any hang ups, but still we all move and try new things so do try to get too fixed on hitting any particular goals from day 1. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for the advice.
Yes we would prefer to start slow, but would men really be interested in meeting a couple where initially to start it would maybe only go as far as oral sex?
I know we are secure, though i guess that thought could always be there, did she enjoy the sex more than woth me, or do they fancy eachother more now theyve had sex/oral together?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why do you say "coming to terms with" ?"
Sorry i guess its abit mistaken for how i ment to come across, coming to terms and agreements/ coming to what boundaries is more what i ment rather than actually coming to termswere meeting which sounds very unsure im happy to do that lol |
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"Why do you say "coming to terms with" ?
Sorry i guess its abit mistaken for how i ment to come across, coming to terms and agreements/ coming to what boundaries is more what i ment rather than actually coming to termswere meeting which sounds very unsure im happy to do that lol"
Good  .
We did a lot of talking and took absolutely no notice of what other people did or what their boundaries are (except to respect them of course). We have one particular boundary that people frequently question and are actually very rude about but it's something we agreed on. Your relationship is the most important thing for you two. Find your own way and enjoy what you do |
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"Thanks for the advice.
Yes we would prefer to start slow, but would men really be interested in meeting a couple where initially to start it would maybe only go as far as oral sex?
I know we are secure, though i guess that thought could always be there, did she enjoy the sex more than woth me, or do they fancy eachother more now theyve had sex/oral together?
"
There are plenty of people and couples who do oral or touching only first. As has been said, it’s all about communication with the people you bring in as well as with each other, about setting the boundaries and managing their expectations.
When my gf and I opened up our relationship we talked about what we were both looking for and we agreed boundaries, e.g. no bareback. If one of us meets someone then we tell the other and always check to make sure we’re both comfortable before it happens. If either says no or they aren’t sure, it doesn’t happen. Ultimately it’s about honesty and trust - don’t go along with things you’re not comfortable with to avoid upsetting your partner, and talk afterwards to reassure each other that they are still your number 1. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We started with oral only. Gloryhole actually as we weren’t sure if we would like it and I was very Berber to do it. We are stag/vixen so hubby doesn’t play but it was his idea to do this so he didn’t have many jealousy issues or anything and for us he wouldnt need to as sexual things with him are completely different to with meets for me. It’s more like foreplay to us and I think hubby actually enjoys watching it more than I do.
We had lots of rules to start with and talked and adjusted after every meet. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We started with oral only. Gloryhole actually as we weren’t sure if we would like it and I was very Berber to do it. We are stag/vixen so hubby doesn’t play but it was his idea to do this so he didn’t have many jealousy issues or anything and for us he wouldnt need to as sexual things with him are completely different to with meets for me. It’s more like foreplay to us and I think hubby actually enjoys watching it more than I do.
We had lots of rules to start with and talked and adjusted after every meet. "
So what is the differences betwwen stag and vixen, hotwife and cuckold? Are they all similar but based around different meanings of why/how you are meeting other men? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We started with oral only. Gloryhole actually as we weren’t sure if we would like it and I was very Berber to do it. We are stag/vixen so hubby doesn’t play but it was his idea to do this so he didn’t have many jealousy issues or anything and for us he wouldnt need to as sexual things with him are completely different to with meets for me. It’s more like foreplay to us and I think hubby actually enjoys watching it more than I do.
We had lots of rules to start with and talked and adjusted after every meet.
So what is the differences betwwen stag and vixen, hotwife and cuckold? Are they all similar but based around different meanings of why/how you are meeting other men?"
A Stag is a word to describe a straight man that shares his wife or girlfriend sexually with other men and derives his pleasure solely from watching her arousal. This arrangement, called Stag Hotwifing, typically occurs in one or more of the following ways:
By bringing another man/men to pleasure the wife or girlfriend, where the Stag can either actively join in and participate, or passively watch as a voyeur
As the Stag overtly or covertly watches or listens to her play with the other men
As the wife or girlfriend recounts the details of her adventures with other men to the Stag after the fact.
Unlike certain cuckolding arrangements, Stag Hotwifing involves no humiliation, cruelty, or attempted displays of dominance by the other men towards the Stag. A Stag is confident and secure enough to share his woman without sacrificing his masculinity.
stags are not submissive. In fact, they are often dominant themselves.
Unlike certain cuckolding arrangements, there are no creampie cleanups. It should also be noted that Stag Hotwifing is race free, without any special proclivities regarding men of other races. Anyone can be a third party, or bull.
Stag Hotwifing involves a great degree of respect for all parties. If there is any “serving”, it’s done by the bull. A Stag doesn’t desire to see his woman “used” by another man. He just occasionally enjoys watching his woman experience passion and pleasure in new and exciting ways. It often makes him desire her more.
Reclaiming is a very central to Stag Hotwifing. The vixen belongs to the Stag and to the Stag only. She can only be “borrowed” at best by a third party.
Exploring and enjoying Stag Hotwifing is seen as enjoying/exploring fun and games. The main relationship is the priority, and nothing about Stag Hotwifing is taken too seriously. A Stag does not seek out other women in return, and is simply focused on his own woman’s pleasure, and the pleasure he gets from seeing/experiencing her pleasure.
A Vixen, or Vixen Hotwife, is any woman that is allowed to have occasional sex with other men with the encouragement and full consent of her husband or boyfriend. The Vixen is at the center of her Stag’s sexual desires and she deeply enjoys seeing how much pleasure he gets from her sexual escapades with others.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Cuckold is more the partner is submissive and does clean up I think and not sure with hot wife.
I know when we started this I did some research and this described our wants perfectly which is why we describe ourselves as such. |
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