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Swinging & disability
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Physical disabilities take many forms. These include amputees, spinal injuries and kyphosis.
These same disabilities may or may not affect sexual activity, some people may simply look different or needs some adjustments to accommodate sexual activity.
This is not a weird fetish post. (I have a disability, thankfully very little to no impact on my life)
If you are worried about meeting anyone with a disability I am happy to offer some guidance |
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I think this is a very important topic and one that’s not discussed enough. Perhaps for another thread but I’d throw in the invisible disabilities also. I think this stuff needs opened up more as lots of people say they’re open minded but I imagine there’s lots of people who would say open minded is a different thing to what those people think.
Though what might seem obvious to some, like in general show respect and don’t be an idiot, is not always obvious to others for all sorts of reasons.
Be certainly happy to hear general rules you ascribe to op so that a discussion can be opened up? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think this is a very important topic and one that’s not discussed enough. Perhaps for another thread but I’d throw in the invisible disabilities also. I think this stuff needs opened up more as lots of people say they’re open minded but I imagine there’s lots of people who would say open minded is a different thing to what those people think.
All for discussion here. We are all equal
Though what might seem obvious to some, like in general show respect and don’t be an idiot, is not always obvious to others for all sorts of reasons.
Be certainly happy to hear general rules you ascribe to op so that a discussion can be opened up?"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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it is a nice idea but given the range of disabilities it will be hard to offer specific advice.
This is an adult site so id expect anyone with a disability to be well prepared for any questions (probably heard them all before) so the best advice id have to someone interested in a person with a disability is to just ask. You will probably find someone with a disability to be upfront about their can do's and cant do's. Nobody wants an awkward suprise. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"it is a nice idea but given the range of disabilities it will be hard to offer specific advice.
This is an adult site so id expect anyone with a disability to be well prepared for any questions (probably heard them all before) so the best advice id have to someone interested in a person with a disability is to just ask. You will probably find someone with a disability to be upfront about their can do's and cant do's. Nobody wants an awkward suprise."
Good advice.
The idea is to make the subject open. |
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By *aughty50sCouple
over a year ago
Yorkshire - but we travel a lot |
"it is a nice idea but given the range of disabilities it will be hard to offer specific advice.
This is an adult site so id expect anyone with a disability to be well prepared for any questions (probably heard them all before) so the best advice id have to someone interested in a person with a disability is to just ask. You will probably find someone with a disability to be upfront about their can do's and cant do's. Nobody wants an awkward suprise.
Good advice.
The idea is to make the subject open. "
It can only be a good thing to make this a more open subject. We are upfront about Mrs Y using a wheelchair, but as suggested above, for anyone hesitant we'd encourage them to just ask. Fortunately in our experience, some people do just that, and are happy to work round the disability, but we are aware it would put some off (their loss hehe!)  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"it is a nice idea but given the range of disabilities it will be hard to offer specific advice.
This is an adult site so id expect anyone with a disability to be well prepared for any questions (probably heard them all before) so the best advice id have to someone interested in a person with a disability is to just ask. You will probably find someone with a disability to be upfront about their can do's and cant do's. Nobody wants an awkward suprise.
Good advice.
The idea is to make the subject open.
It can only be a good thing to make this a more open subject. We are upfront about Mrs Y using a wheelchair, but as suggested above, for anyone hesitant we'd encourage them to just ask. Fortunately in our experience, some people do just that, and are happy to work round the disability, but we are aware it would put some off (their loss hehe!) "
Glad your experience has been good. Thanks for sharing |
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I always try my very best to be considerate of everyone.
Not played with anyone with a significant disability though it would not put me off, as I am interested in the person if I am with someone.
Probably would be a bit overcautious for fear of saying the wrong thing so would hope they raise the subject so we could discuss openly to enable me to appreciate any limitations properly.
I think really is it about understanding and acceptance and or course at all times - respect for others! |
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By *ranfondoMan
over a year ago
Cambridgeshire |
"I think this is a very important topic and one that’s not discussed enough. Perhaps for another thread but I’d throw in the invisible disabilities also. I think this stuff needs opened up more as lots of people say they’re open minded but I imagine there’s lots of people who would say open minded is a different thing to what those people think.
Though what might seem obvious to some, like in general show respect and don’t be an idiot, is not always obvious to others for all sorts of reasons.
Be certainly happy to hear general rules you ascribe to op so that a discussion can be opened up?"
Yes... hidden disabilities are often unmentioned ...I had some fun with a woman who when we met on here, She didn't make me aware until a few meetings in that she had a mental health issue...one of the personality disorders. You would never have known until you'd met afew times, then with this lady she was very very needy due to her condition, so not all disabled people are easy to spot. Happy Fabbing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There used to be a profile on here and she was in a wheel chair. Can't remember the name (it was Lady something I think) but she was active on the forums. |
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"There used to be a profile on here and she was in a wheel chair. Can't remember the name (it was Lady something I think) but she was active on the forums. "
It wasn't me, but I use a wheelchair. There are quite a few wheelies on here  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There used to be a profile on here and she was in a wheel chair. Can't remember the name (it was Lady something I think) but she was active on the forums.
It wasn't me, but I use a wheelchair. There are quite a few wheelies on here "
I've not checked but do You let people know beforehand, do you feel the need to let people know? |
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"There used to be a profile on here and she was in a wheel chair. Can't remember the name (it was Lady something I think) but she was active on the forums.
It wasn't me, but I use a wheelchair. There are quite a few wheelies on here
I've not checked but do You let people know beforehand, do you feel the need to let people know? "
There's pics on our profile and we meet socially first, so ensure the venue is wheelchair accessible. If the other person/people have any issue at that point, it's game over. Yes, we do make my wheelchair use clear. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There used to be a profile on here and she was in a wheel chair. Can't remember the name (it was Lady something I think) but she was active on the forums.
It wasn't me, but I use a wheelchair. There are quite a few wheelies on here
I've not checked but do You let people know beforehand, do you feel the need to let people know?
There's pics on our profile and we meet socially first, so ensure the venue is wheelchair accessible. If the other person/people have any issue at that point, it's game over. Yes, we do make my wheelchair use clear. "
Sorry if I asked the question bluntly, ideally you shouldn't have to. |
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"There used to be a profile on here and she was in a wheel chair. Can't remember the name (it was Lady something I think) but she was active on the forums.
It wasn't me, but I use a wheelchair. There are quite a few wheelies on here
I've not checked but do You let people know beforehand, do you feel the need to let people know?
There's pics on our profile and we meet socially first, so ensure the venue is wheelchair accessible. If the other person/people have any issue at that point, it's game over. Yes, we do make my wheelchair use clear.
Sorry if I asked the question bluntly, ideally you shouldn't have to. "
Tis fine. With the lack of wheelchair access in many places, it's an important thing to bring up, if only from the "can I get inside" perspective. We've had people stop chatting when they realise I use a chair. *Shrug* |
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By *egoMan
over a year ago
Preston |
Mentally- I’m in a vicious circle myself.
I can sound a little odd, but it’s with being autistic.
I can get on great, even with my oddness but if I mention the autism, I get ghosted.
On the other hand it can be mentioned early on, then they get put off by the oddness…..
(Well they aren’t worth your time, I know I know)
Sooner or later I get talking about my late partner and it kills the mood instantly. But they asked?
How do I fix that obstacle?
Physically- The spinal injury I suffered has reduced my stamina somewhat. My strength is fine but I cannot keep going nor do awkward positions like oral for a prolonged period of time.
I just get anxiety that I cannot be as vigorous as I used to be. I suppose people look at me and expect to be flung around etc. |
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"Mentally- I’m in a vicious circle myself.
I can sound a little odd, but it’s with being autistic.
I can get on great, even with my oddness but if I mention the autism, I get ghosted.
On the other hand it can be mentioned early on, then they get put off by the oddness…..
(Well they aren’t worth your time, I know I know)
Sooner or later I get talking about my late partner and it kills the mood instantly. But they asked?
How do I fix that obstacle?
Physically- The spinal injury I suffered has reduced my stamina somewhat. My strength is fine but I cannot keep going nor do awkward positions like oral for a prolonged period of time.
I just get anxiety that I cannot be as vigorous as I used to be. I suppose people look at me and expect to be flung around etc. "
Yes, Mr KC is pretty self conscious of his autistic traits coming across negatively too. His anxiety can take over  |
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By *egoMan
over a year ago
Preston |
"Mentally- I’m in a vicious circle myself.
I can sound a little odd, but it’s with being autistic.
I can get on great, even with my oddness but if I mention the autism, I get ghosted.
On the other hand it can be mentioned early on, then they get put off by the oddness…..
(Well they aren’t worth your time, I know I know)
Sooner or later I get talking about my late partner and it kills the mood instantly. But they asked?
How do I fix that obstacle?
Physically- The spinal injury I suffered has reduced my stamina somewhat. My strength is fine but I cannot keep going nor do awkward positions like oral for a prolonged period of time.
I just get anxiety that I cannot be as vigorous as I used to be. I suppose people look at me and expect to be flung around etc.
Yes, Mr KC is pretty self conscious of his autistic traits coming across negatively too. His anxiety can take over "
Don’t I know it.
Anxiety and a penis isn’t a good combination. |
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My husband has a physical disability. He’d love to try a club (he’s not looking for anybody to play with, he wants to watch and maybe join in) but I do worry how we’d get on at one with the dress down rules etc (he needs to wear shoes to get around) |
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By *egoMan
over a year ago
Preston |
"My husband has a physical disability. He’d love to try a club (he’s not looking for anybody to play with, he wants to watch and maybe join in) but I do worry how we’d get on at one with the dress down rules etc (he needs to wear shoes to get around) "
Well ladies wear heels a lot.
It’s the most inviting place I’ve ever been. I actually felt comfortable in a social establishment. I often take friends to clubs just to help them ease into a new liberating lifestyle. Not for me to have sex with them, they know that’s not my intent. I just open doors.
I wish he will attend and have a wonderful time. |
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"My husband has a physical disability. He’d love to try a club (he’s not looking for anybody to play with, he wants to watch and maybe join in) but I do worry how we’d get on at one with the dress down rules etc (he needs to wear shoes to get around) "
Wearing shoes is fine. I also need to wear (non stiletto!) shoes so I wore ballet style flats in clubs. He can wear whatever footwear he wishes. |
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Great post.
I would hope that there would be open adult discussion before meeting.
I'm open about being hard of hearing on my profile, but not everyone is comfortable being upfront with invisible disabilities or health issues, for fear of frightening off potential meets. |
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"My husband has a physical disability. He’d love to try a club (he’s not looking for anybody to play with, he wants to watch and maybe join in) but I do worry how we’d get on at one with the dress down rules etc (he needs to wear shoes to get around) "
Having attended numerous clubs, I am sure this will not be a problem at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Great post.
I would hope that there would be open adult discussion before meeting.
I'm open about being hard of hearing on my profile, but not everyone is comfortable being upfront with invisible disabilities or health issues, for fear of frightening off potential meets. "
Surely it's better to frighten them off before the actual meet? Not good to turn up and find out someone has lied/ deliberately not mentioned something just to get a shag. |
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"Great post.
I would hope that there would be open adult discussion before meeting.
I'm open about being hard of hearing on my profile, but not everyone is comfortable being upfront with invisible disabilities or health issues, for fear of frightening off potential meets.
Surely it's better to frighten them off before the actual meet? Not good to turn up and find out someone has lied/ deliberately not mentioned something just to get a shag. "
I would agree, personally but an invisible disability or health problem may have no impact on a meet.
Mental health is a good example. Should it be mentioned on the chance they have a bad day, or not?
Disability and health is very personal. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we had a torrent of abuse from a wheelchair user when we told him no thanks the air went blue ..... sad thing is we never turned him down because of the wheelchair there was just no attraction ..... to us the same rules apply no matter what no sexual attraxtion no meet .... and only last month another guy in a wheelchair pulled the same reaction and tried to make us feel guilty for saying no thanks .... we have met a couple guys with disabillities was no probs as the sexual attraction was there |
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"we had a torrent of abuse from a wheelchair user when we told him no thanks the air went blue ..... sad thing is we never turned him down because of the wheelchair there was just no attraction ..... to us the same rules apply no matter what no sexual attraxtion no meet .... and only last month another guy in a wheelchair pulled the same reaction and tried to make us feel guilty for saying no thanks .... we have met a couple guys with disabillities was no probs as the sexual attraction was there"
Conversely, we've had torrents of completely unsolicited abuse for me being a wheelchair user, including a lovely chap who messaged specially to insult Mr KC for "banging a disabled bird*"
There's twats in all walks of life (pun fully intended).
*Not verbatim, words to this effect |
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