FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Meet tonight and wasting our time
Meet tonight and wasting our time
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The meet tonight page is increasingly being abused by certain people of late.
I thought the idea of meet tonight is it's a quick easy way to arrange some naughty fun with someone you fancy in your locality.
Instead it's turned into
1) Post a meet tonight advert without consulting your partner, hoping they'll go for it.
2) You use it as a back up. Arrange a meet and then let people down when you think someone better has come along.
3) You don't really mean meet tonight. It's 3 weeks next wednesday. This is easily solved by clearly putting on the title when you intend to meet or on the current status updater.
4) It's hard enough trying to keep Mrs N interested in swinging as it is.
Can't people see that all this faffing about they do turns the ladies off and what used to be a pleasure and successful past time, enhancing our sex life has become a succession of rude, ignorant people that say they want to meet us and then put up all sorts of feeble reasons why they can't, often at the last minute. it's so rude and boring.
I can't believe how difficult it is becoming to meet nice couples. It used to be so much easier 7 years ago or so. We haven't changed the way we treat people. Swinging is supposed to be about being honest and open with your partner and another couple or person. All that seems to have gone out of the window.
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From our experience, lots of members love the idea of sexual interaction with someone else, however, when it comes to the crunch of the actual meet, the majority don't have the bollocks to go through with it 
We no longer use the "Meet Today" function  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always turn up reply to emails even to say no just politeness. Smile, manners costs nothing. I have only ever been let down twice in 8 months not bad going and thats because the guy's bottled out in taking me chams. Very genuine person. And enjoy a giggle |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
Maybe the fact that you need to try and keep the Mrs interested in swinging is clouding your judgement and you're not using your instinct properly before arranging meets  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"At the risk of being accused of going off-topic - if you think 'meet tonight' is bad, you ought to read some of the shite that crops (craps?) up on 'events'."
absolutely spot on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you're struggling to keep Mrs N. Interested in swinging, maybe it's time the pair of you had a chat and decided on both your future's together in the swinging world instead of nit picking about something that doesn't suit you about this site ? |
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By *habsMan
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
Stopped using "Meet today" altogether after receiving one too many comments along the line of:
"So you're looking to meet 'anybody' then?"
as well as:
"Ahabs, why do you travel so much? Don't you think its desperation if you keep travelling from London to Brum, Manc and Wales to play instead of just sticking to London? Don't you think its insulting to ignore the London women for other women further away?"
Got tired of having to justify crap on weekly basis, so not dealing with crap. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've just been let down for the second time by the same man.
Excuse 1 two weeks ago. My car has been stolen.
Excuse 2 just now - I forgot my school reunion.
I didn't believe him about the car to be honest but you give the benefit of the doubt to people.
I've never been let down before ... ! Made me sooooooo mad im twice as horny now !! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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You are probably right here. we quite like meeting different people. We don't want to meet same people over and over again. I guess we may be relying to heavily upon it as we have had some successful meets off it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I don't think thats the problem to be honest. Mrs N and I have great relationship and talk alot about what sort of things we like and we are not scared to politely say thanks but no thanks. Here's how we do it
Hi there,
Thanks for the interest but we've decided not to take things further.
So we'd say we are polite, we don't say why as that might offend. No need to is there. What I'm trying to say is we do follow our instincts and do discuss potential meets alot before we take things further. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We do alot actually LOL. and we go out clubbing alot too. We love a good dance till 3 am in the morning. bet there's not that many 40 somethings that do that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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not being rotten but singles and cpls are same.. have had meets cancelled at last sec...driving upto house or they call us at last sec... we started to meet at clubs and if no one comes tough but we can enjoy or hope to enjoy  as said meet 1st time in a club then u get to know the people and then arrange home meets easier - think so  |
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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago
a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5 |
"not being rotten but singles and cpls are same.. have had meets cancelled at last sec...driving upto house or they call us at last sec... we started to meet at clubs and if no one comes tough but we can enjoy or hope to enjoy as said meet 1st time in a club then u get to know the people and then arrange home meets easier - think so "
And this is also why I go to a club a lot |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find it usually works very well for me, unless I say I can't accomodate and then no one offers to help much, but overall I am happy with it
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i have also found that, if people see you on the meet now thing, they think everything on your profile dont still stand, they think you will meet anyone who asks and that you will accommodate, saying that i have found that it seems to be a un written rule that single woman are expected to accommodate, i get 100's of messages weekly, from meet now, from guys who have seen my profile, from guys im chating to in the chat room but soon as i said sorry dont accommodate id say 99% of them loose interest, men on here dont want to do any more than jump in a car, come to your home and fuck you, get up and leave, anything more complicated than that and they simply arnt interested |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find it usually works very well for me, unless I say I can't accomodate and then no one offers to help much, but overall I am happy with it
i have also found that, if people see you on the meet now thing, they think everything on your profile dont still stand, they think you will meet anyone who asks and that you will accommodate, saying that i have found that it seems to be a un written rule that single woman are expected to accommodate, i get 100's of messages weekly, from meet now, from guys who have seen my profile, from guys im chating to in the chat room but soon as i said sorry dont accommodate id say 99% of them loose interest, men on here dont want to do any more than jump in a car, come to your home and fuck you, get up and leave, anything more complicated than that and they simply arnt interested "
u hit the nail on the head completely!!! its few and far between those who interested when you say you dont accomodate!! but the ones who do understand are usually worth the effort xx |
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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago
a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5 |
"I find it usually works very well for me, unless I say I can't accomodate and then no one offers to help much, but overall I am happy with it
i have also found that, if people see you on the meet now thing, they think everything on your profile dont still stand, they think you will meet anyone who asks and that you will accommodate, saying that i have found that it seems to be a un written rule that single woman are expected to accommodate, i get 100's of messages weekly, from meet now, from guys who have seen my profile, from guys im chating to in the chat room but soon as i said sorry dont accommodate id say 99% of them loose interest, men on here dont want to do any more than jump in a car, come to your home and fuck you, get up and leave, anything more complicated than that and they simply arnt interested
u hit the nail on the head completely!!! its few and far between those who interested when you say you dont accomodate!! but the ones who do understand are usually worth the effort xx"
as you can see, a lot do make the effort (AND SO PLEASED I WAS WITH THEM) and I often can and do accomodate but it would be great to get a return invitation sometimes
If I dont get an invite, I simply call on a few old faithfuls or go to the club
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for all the replies folks. It has given us some food for thought. Gneral impression I get is that it only works to a certain extent but shouldn't be relied on for filtering out people that are serious about meeting. There are lots of other people who never use the meet tonight feature but do actually meet. It's a question of finding them though LOL.
Oh well, back to the search function I guess LOL.
xxx |
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By *ay112Man
over a year ago
northwest |
totally agree on you
What else is annoying when they say they will meet then you cancel things for that day, spend all day waiting, you text/ring no answer than hour before meet they say sorry cant come now, wheres the dignity in letting you know, we all have our own lives outside fab  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Stopped using "Meet today" altogether after receiving one too many comments along the line of:
"So you're looking to meet 'anybody' then?"
"
That's spot on Ahabs, I think there's an assumption amongst some people that anyone who posts on 'Meet Today', is desperate or will meet anybody, which obviously isn't the case.
I've also discovered if I've looked at a silver profile members profile on 'Meet Today', and they've seen Ive looked, there's an automatic assumption on their part that I'm desperate to meet them and succomb to their witty charms and prodigious appendages!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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too many dreamers on site at times, some love the thrill of a meet then cant find the courage to go with it ....others get better offers and dont have the balls to say they cant make it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"totally agree on you
What else is annoying when they say they will meet then you cancel things for that day, spend all day waiting, you text/ring no answer than hour before meet they say sorry cant come now, wheres the dignity in letting you know, we all have our own lives outside fab "
Nooo way would anyone cancel on you...they must be bonkers |
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By *ay112Man
over a year ago
northwest |
"totally agree on you
What else is annoying when they say they will meet then you cancel things for that day, spend all day waiting, you text/ring no answer than hour before meet they say sorry cant come now, wheres the dignity in letting you know, we all have our own lives outside fab
still waiting for your reply
Nooo way would anyone cancel on you...they must be bonkers "
Still waiting for your reply |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We use the Meet Today facility extensively, most days we don't find anyone compatible, perhaps once a month we do and we have been let down many times by those who have asked us to meet but the successfull meets we have had from there have been exceptional and we just put the timewasters down to "life" and move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nothing is a 100% but the good ones definately out way the bad more more more please. Just finding spare time. Always make sure the kids are well sorted before i arrange anything then i can relax and enjoy myself. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Pure Silk's comment is interesting and the reply is too. Isn't that true of what goes on. How on earth does a gorgeous lady like Pure Silk get let down. |
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By *habsMan
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
"Pure Silk's comment is interesting and the reply is too. Isn't that true of what goes on. How on earth does a gorgeous lady like Pure Silk get let down. "
Easy - by twats.
Was sittign at home all day the other day by this lady that had "shown interest" and made moves to come see me, come the day I sent a message in the morning for what time her train was so I could be at the station,.. come 4pm still had heard nothing. Was chatting to her mate (who knew she was meeting "re: body bag/securoty check") asked how it was going. told her I hadnt heard from her, so she said she'd check with her.
20 mins later got a text fromthe lady herself: "Sorry, had soemthing on for tonight and forgot to tell you - rain check?"
PS: It was supposed ot be a daytime meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pure Silk's comment is interesting and the reply is too. Isn't that true of what goes on. How on earth does a gorgeous lady like Pure Silk get let down. "
why thankyou, but i've only been let down 3 times i think in 2 years...
There's loads of genuine people on here, i'd never let the "non" genuine guys put me off. Funny thing is , the ones who have let me down have recently asked for a meet, but i dont give 2nd chances, they should of met me when they had chance ...  |
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By *habsMan
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
"Pure Silk's comment is interesting and the reply is too. Isn't that true of what goes on. How on earth does a gorgeous lady like Pure Silk get let down.
why thankyou, but i've only been let down 3 times i think in 2 years...
There's loads of genuine people on here, i'd never let the "non" genuine guys put me off. Funny thing is , the ones who have let me down have recently asked for a meet, but i dont give 2nd chances, they should of met me when they had chance ... "
And you shouldnt let the get you down. I know a lady that after 2 such let downs in 4 years she gave up swinggn altogether (closed her profile and left the scene)... sad.
Whats sadder is I find there to be higher percentage of women who muck about... yet think its acceptable. |
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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago
a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5 |
"Stopped using "Meet today" altogether after receiving one too many comments along the line of:
"So you're looking to meet 'anybody' then?"
as well as:
"Ahabs, why do you travel so much? Don't you think its desperation if you keep travelling from London to Brum, Manc and Wales to play instead of just sticking to London? Don't you think its insulting to ignore the London women for other women further away?"
Got tired of having to justify crap on weekly basis, so not dealing with crap."
I have to say Ahabs that I have had flack about the same thing, mostly from a few ladies on here for posting a lot on MEET TODAY
They assume or pressume that these people I meet are not "QUALITY MEETS"
They also presume that the guys are desperate and that I will fuck anything but it would be totally impossible for me to fuck everyone that asks me too!!!
I only see guys that meet my criteria and as its a swinging site I'll fuck 20 men a day every day if I choose, I should be so lucky!! |
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By *habsMan
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
"Stopped using "Meet today" altogether after receiving one too many comments along the line of:
"So you're looking to meet 'anybody' then?"
as well as:
"Ahabs, why do you travel so much? Don't you think its desperation if you keep travelling from London to Brum, Manc and Wales to play instead of just sticking to London? Don't you think its insulting to ignore the London women for other women further away?"
Got tired of having to justify crap on weekly basis, so not dealing with crap.
I have to say Ahabs that I have had flack about the same thing, mostly from a few ladies on here for posting a lot on MEET TODAY
They assume or pressume that these people I meet are not "QUALITY MEETS"
They also presume that the guys are desperate and that I will fuck anything but it would be totally impossible for me to fuck everyone that asks me too!!!
I only see guys that meet my criteria and as its a swinging site I'll fuck 20 men a day every day if I choose, I should be so lucky!! "
Your chocie who you meet and how often. Maybe they're jealous cause've got nothing but knitting and cats to keep them company whilst watching X-Factor?
If you can't beat them, joni them? I don't see why you have to "adjust" your play style to suit others especially if they aren't the ones you want to meet. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well it's official. It doesn't matter if you plan miles in advance to meet or meet tonight the result of late is often the same. Just had yet another couple drop out on us 20 mins from when they were due to arrive. This was inspite of huge efforts to make sure all happy.
And remember " Santa loves everyone, Even timewasters "
xxx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some people are just ignorant and have no consideration for others. I think your point about hoping something better comes along is probably true as well but suspect its the guy who is behind that in a couple or a single guy who hasnt the guts to say "look I got it wrong and am chickening out"
All the ebst nad hope you dont have too many disappointments
Dave near Walsall
"The meet tonight page is increasingly being abused by certain people of late.
I thought the idea of meet tonight is it's a quick easy way to arrange some naughty fun with someone you fancy in your locality.
Instead it's turned into
1) Post a meet tonight advert without consulting your partner, hoping they'll go for it.
2) You use it as a back up. Arrange a meet and then let people down when you think someone better has come along.
3) You don't really mean meet tonight. It's 3 weeks next wednesday. This is easily solved by clearly putting on the title when you intend to meet or on the current status updater.
4) It's hard enough trying to keep Mrs N interested in swinging as it is.
Can't people see that all this faffing about they do turns the ladies off and what used to be a pleasure and successful past time, enhancing our sex life has become a succession of rude, ignorant people that say they want to meet us and then put up all sorts of feeble reasons why they can't, often at the last minute. it's so rude and boring.
I can't believe how difficult it is becoming to meet nice couples. It used to be so much easier 7 years ago or so. We haven't changed the way we treat people. Swinging is supposed to be about being honest and open with your partner and another couple or person. All that seems to have gone out of the window.
"
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We occasionaly use this facility and look at it if we get an unexpected night off - can't see a problem with it or how it's used or anyting! If people abuse it then thats their problem and not ours - too many people are scrutinising too closely what other people are doing! why? too much time on their hands? we can't be arsed as having toooooooo much fun! Chill out! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We occasionaly use this facility and look at it if we get an unexpected night off - can't see a problem with it or how it's used or anyting! If people abuse it then thats their problem and not ours - too many people are scrutinising too closely what other people are doing! why? too much time on their hands? we can't be arsed as having toooooooo much fun! Chill out!"
I wrote something similar on another post as I've noticed a lot of scrutiny of other peoples profiles!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We occasionaly use this facility and look at it if we get an unexpected night off - can't see a problem with it or how it's used or anyting! If people abuse it then thats their problem and not ours - too many people are scrutinising too closely what other people are doing! why? too much time on their hands? we can't be arsed as having toooooooo much fun! Chill out!"
I wrote something similar on another post as I've noticed a lot of scrutiny of other peoples profiles!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pure Silk's comment is interesting and the reply is too. Isn't that true of what goes on. How on earth does a gorgeous lady like Pure Silk get let down.
why thankyou, but i've only been let down 3 times i think in 2 years...
There's loads of genuine people on here, i'd never let the "non" genuine guys put me off. Funny thing is , the ones who have let me down have recently asked for a meet, but i dont give 2nd chances, they should of met me when they had chance ...
And you shouldnt let the get you down. I know a lady that after 2 such let downs in 4 years she gave up swinggn altogether (closed her profile and left the scene)... sad.
Whats sadder is I find there to be higher percentage of women who muck about... yet think its acceptable."
Just so I get it right Ahabs....... What percentage of the men you try to fuck let you down ??? And if you don't try to fuck them ... how much time do you spend collating data from other peoples experiences ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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been on there everyday now for a month, not one single meet offered...... is that a bad thing and a reflection of the page.
course it's not, obviously we are not what people are looking for, not in the right area, smokers, too tall, too short.
Whatever the reason we will just stay on there until we do find someone compatible and then we will party like it's 2009 (well unless it takes another month then we will party likes it's 2010)
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"been on there everyday now for a month, not one single meet offered...... is that a bad thing and a reflection of the page.
course it's not, obviously we are not what people are looking for, not in the right area, smokers, too tall, too short.
Whatever the reason we will just stay on there until we do find someone compatible and then we will party like it's 2009 (well unless it takes another month then we will party likes it's 2010)
"
Why would you guys worry about that page when a 5 minute walk from your lovely house you have the whole Pandora's box of swinging fun
Merry Xmas to you both and hope 2010 brings you everything you desire |
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By *habsMan
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
"Pure Silk's comment is interesting and the reply is too. Isn't that true of what goes on. How on earth does a gorgeous lady like Pure Silk get let down.
why thankyou, but i've only been let down 3 times i think in 2 years...
There's loads of genuine people on here, i'd never let the "non" genuine guys put me off. Funny thing is , the ones who have let me down have recently asked for a meet, but i dont give 2nd chances, they should of met me when they had chance ...
And you shouldnt let the get you down. I know a lady that after 2 such let downs in 4 years she gave up swinggn altogether (closed her profile and left the scene)... sad.
Whats sadder is I find there to be higher percentage of women who muck about... yet think its acceptable.
Just so I get it right Ahabs....... What percentage of the men you try to fuck let you down ??? And if you don't try to fuck them ... how much time do you spend collating data from other peoples experiences ? "
Funny you ask that - I've had several conversations where people (ok, women and couples) have tried to convicne me that its guys that ruint he scene for swingers. Using examples like "I had 4 single guys cancel on my this year" to which I laugh and think "I had 6 WOMEN cancel on me this month alone!"
I've had to remove an event I had listed as the lady contacted earlier today to cancel. Does thatmake her a timewaster? ONly if guys cancelling makes them timewasters.
That covers the "statistical" - as for meeting guys/girls, clearly I only meet females, so if I'm experiencing timewasters then its common sense that there are some women out there who do the same, contrary to the belief that some carry that women are "innocent and wouldn't do such".
Anyways, its still snowing outside - who fancies a naked dash? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Why would you guys worry about that page when a 5 minute walk from your lovely house you have the whole Pandora's box of swinging fun
Merry Xmas to you both and hope 2010 brings you everything you desire "
Exactly what we are saying, there is no sense in getting upset over any of the pages in here, be it no response at your profile, the people who use the meet today pages wrongly, the people who post events when they are just looking for a meet etc.
I have seen a few people recently saying that they feel too many people are worried more about what others are doing than what they do themselves and thats very true.
We have the meet today which occasionaly brings us a fantastic meet, we have a club 30 seconds from us and above all we have each other, so couldn't care less if nobody ever wants to meet us, it's all just a fun bonus and should be treated that way.
Meanwhile thanks for your kind comment and we wish you two all the best today, tomorrow and everyday |
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