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Non-monogamous dating and swinging
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Are you single in the scene but would love to find a partner in the lifestyle? To have an ENM relationship and swing, whether that's with them or solo, stag vixen, hotwife, hothusband, cuckold, open relationship etc in whatever dynamic appeals to you.
Do you find it difficult to meet someone in the lifestyle already?
Do you find if difficult to bring up this lifestyle when you meet someone on a 'vanilla' dating app?
Would you be interested in a non-monogamous dating event/social?
Xx |
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By *eve500Man
over a year ago
Leeds |
Yes, would love to meet someone 'open' to the idea. Was married to a jealous'prude' for a long time, so I 1. Won't make that mistake again, and 2. Intend to make up for wasted years. Trouble is, everything seems fine and open to begin with, then their feelings get in the way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would 100% be interested in this!! As someone in the lifestyle, finding a relationship is so difficult. As soon as it’s mentioned on the traditional dating sites people are either put off by it, or think you’re only after one thing. I’d love to find a meaningful relationship with someone I could still be involved in the lifestyle with, ideally with a hotwife or stag/vixen dynamic 🫶🏻 |
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This sounds very interesting I have met couples who thrive on there open relationship and I have seen others where one partner get more attention than the other which can lead to the break down of the relationship
Definitely think an event with the open relationship dating dynamic would do really well
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I am not currently seeking. But when I was actually single and looking it was fucking hard work pulling out the people who are actually ethically non monogamous from the sea of actually just arseholes who like to fuck around. And that's before factoring in compatibility and attraction 💜 |
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If I get into a relationship, and I'm not looking but things happen, chances are we either met here or at a swingers club, so non monogamy would presumably be our default and playing on the scene would be regular and pretty much unremarkable.
If it's not, we won't be dating. |
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By *il-widgeMan
over a year ago
Stone Staffordshire |
After the end of a long relationship I'm not ready to settle down, but I do get a real buzz from some seeing some of the people I've met and reading about their subsequent meets and reading their verifications and talking about if, find it really sexy and horny and also happy for them as it usually brings back fond memories of our time together, so who knows maybe in time something will naturally happen with someone who we end up seeing more regularly and explore things together and separately.....in the meantime just loving meeting some amazing people and having great sex |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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the problem for this is there are very few women in swinging compared to the zillions of men so its going to be a 100 times harder than finding a normal relationship so it will leave men even more frustrated than they already are with swinging ... mind you most of those men are already in relationships of the vanilla type wishing they were swingers..
fact is most women simply want a normal vanilla relationship not hard to see when you see how few couples and women who really do swing ... again meaning alot of couples and women on here are infacr single men |
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Looking back at my dating days personally I'm a fan of being upfront from the start about an intrest in non-monogamous practices in a relationship as well as kinks. However in the normal dating world this can be so problematic.
Form the male perspective: to state openly on a profile often gives the impression you're just a fuck boy and genuinely not into finding a serious committed relationship.
From the female perspective: to state openly on a profile gives off signals you're an easy shag and attracts fuck boys like moths to the flame.
So it's hard for either side to be open from the start about this desire for a relationship from the start because society is crap at dealing with this in an adult way. People can be so immature about it. Yet sexual desires and wants in my opinion are also pretty dam important to express to each other early on to see if you're in the same ball park before you invest too much. And just because you have a conversation about it doesn't mean you have to fuck until you've sussed each other out more. In terms of dating it just allows you to both know that down the line when it comes to finally having sex you have some compatability. I just think adults should be able to have unabashed open conversations about sex and desire. Like you would other aspects when finding out if you're a good match for a date. I would also say if they can have a grown up conversation about sex and desire without getting all creepy and eager that's a green flag.
And a lot of people just aren't swingers or intrested (although from being open on the vanilla dating scene you'd be suprised how many women are at least curious when they're comfortable talking to you openly). So yes I think more tools to help bring us together in healthy swinging relationships is a great thing. We've known some great relationships start on the scene. We ourselves are a Fab success story.
Mr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are you single in the scene but would love to find a partner in the lifestyle? To have an ENM relationship and swing, whether that's with them or solo, stag vixen, hotwife, hothusband, cuckold, open relationship etc in whatever dynamic appeals to you.
Do you find it difficult to meet someone in the lifestyle already?
Do you find if difficult to bring up this lifestyle when you meet someone on a 'vanilla' dating app?
Would you be interested in a non-monogamous dating event/social?
Xx"
Yes definitely |
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By *ryda18Man
over a year ago
Halifax |
"I would 100% be interested in this!! As someone in the lifestyle, finding a relationship is so difficult. As soon as it’s mentioned on the traditional dating sites people are either put off by it, or think you’re only after one thing. I’d love to find a meaningful relationship with someone I could still be involved in the lifestyle with, ideally with a hotwife or stag/vixen dynamic 🫶🏻"
Couldn't agree more |
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Yes to all of this. I am dating outside of swinging and struggling with matching with people who are a lot more "vanilla" or who tell me they are intimidated by the swinging when I explain to them.
Finding a partner who lives local to me and who is in the scene would be ideal but seems to be illusive 😅 |
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"I would 100% be interested in this!! As someone in the lifestyle, finding a relationship is so difficult. As soon as it’s mentioned on the traditional dating sites people are either put off by it, or think you’re only after one thing. I’d love to find a meaningful relationship with someone I could still be involved in the lifestyle with, ideally with a hotwife or stag/vixen dynamic 🫶🏻"
Exactly this! |
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By *zlakMan
over a year ago
Norwich |
By AzlakFind posts by Azlak Man
just this minute!
Norwich
I would 100% be interested in this. I have not been looking but would certainly be open to a relationship. I'm bi and this does not appeal to all so norrows it down even more.
Have on the vanilla side and tried to be honest and got told "why can't you be happy with one patner"!! |
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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago
Ashton Under Lyne |
"Are you single in the scene but would love to find a partner in the lifestyle? To have an ENM relationship and swing, whether that's with them or solo, stag vixen, hotwife, hothusband, cuckold, open relationship etc in whatever dynamic appeals to you.
Do you find it difficult to meet someone in the lifestyle already?
Do you find if difficult to bring up this lifestyle when you meet someone on a 'vanilla' dating app?
Would you be interested in a non-monogamous dating event/social?
Xx"
Actively looking. Not going to find a partner in the lifestyle on a vanilla dating site |
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As my profile says, this is what I'm looking for. Won't find it on vanilla dating sites. Having lots of fun while I'm looking but do miss the actual social side of dating and would love to find someone in the scene who wants to wine and dine as well as share me 😉 |
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I've had two long-term non-monogamous relationships (now widowed) and, yes, it is difficult to find someone new, especially at my age. I can find couples (I love threesomes) and single guys but compatible women are just so rare and it's not a subject easily raised in normal conversation. |
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"Are you single in the scene but would love to find a partner in the lifestyle? To have an ENM relationship and swing, whether that's with them or solo, stag vixen, hotwife, hothusband, cuckold, open relationship etc in whatever dynamic appeals to you.
Do you find it difficult to meet someone in the lifestyle already?
Do you find if difficult to bring up this lifestyle when you meet someone on a 'vanilla' dating app?
Would you be interested in a non-monogamous dating event/social?
Xx"
absolutely brilliant idea. Being a single male makes meeting like minded people near on impossible. And to be able to experience the feeling of liberation of being able to chat openly would be amazing 😉 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s so difficult. I’m just basically not going to date anyone who wants to be monogamous, and being up front about that is the only honest way. There is one dating app (that I’m not sure I can mention?) that caters for ENM folk and have met a few women on there. The problem is that the field is smaller and then factor in compatibility makes it super tricky!
The poly crew are not really my crowd either!
No easy answers. Plan to be single and have lots of fun for now  |
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By *luttTV/TS
over a year ago
Duns |
"Are you single in the scene but would love to find a partner in the lifestyle? To have an ENM relationship and swing, whether that's with them or solo, stag vixen, hotwife, hothusband, cuckold, open relationship etc in whatever dynamic appeals to you.
Do you find it difficult to meet someone in the lifestyle already?
Do you find if difficult to bring up this lifestyle when you meet someone on a 'vanilla' dating app?
Would you be interested in a non-monogamous dating event/social?
Xx"
Yes to all of that! |
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"Are you single in the scene but would love to find a partner in the lifestyle? To have an ENM relationship and swing, whether that's with them or solo, stag vixen, hotwife, hothusband, cuckold, open relationship etc in whatever dynamic appeals to you.
Do you find it difficult to meet someone in the lifestyle already?
Do you find if difficult to bring up this lifestyle when you meet someone on a 'vanilla' dating app?
Would you be interested in a non-monogamous dating event/social?
Xx"
Definitely interested |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I only date a woman that’s happy in the same life style as me because then if they’re not into it, there’s no way you’d get on and you wouldn’t be the real you |
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After “vanilla” dating and being unfulfilled by that and having a brief experience of a non-monogamous “situationship” where things weren’t really as honest and respectful as I believe they should be, I’ve decided that looking for a partner/partners in the non-monogamous setting would be more suiting for me.
So I’d be interested in joining a social group and meet ups. 😋 |
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This sounds like a great thread to have.
From my experience most women I spoken to are looking for a primary partner. They generally lose interest fairly quickly if you're already in a ENM relationship. |
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"I'd love to find someone who is into swinging to enjoy the journey/experience together...unfortunately I'm more likely to find the needle in the haystack first x"
Or them being on the other end of the country! |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Trouble is, everything seems fine and open to begin with, then their feelings get in the way."
ENM relationships and feelings aren't mutually incompatible. It's a relationship, not a FB/FWB situation.
Both my current partners I met on Fab. My previous long term partner I met on Fab.
An ENM themed social or event would be lovely. My only concern would be that as with any vanilla site, here or a normal speed dating event, you'll get a lot of people attending that aren't really looking for an ENM relationship, just another potential avenue to hook up. But you run that risk whatever avenue you choose of course.
There's no better way to find an ENM relationship than to not look for it in my experience. It's something that progresses naturally over time and can't be forced. Find a FWB not averse to the idea and take it from there, and treat it as you would any normal relationship. 🤷♂️ |
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Yes.
Personally I find for those of us that understand this lifestyle, that see it for its strengths and how it can empower yourself and a relationship.
I think meeting people in a social setting that would allow for a more “air to date” setting then a sexual one, would be a of great benefit for all parties to put themselves across to a number of persons in a fun and social way, with still keeping allowing a tone of “more then sex”.  |
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"Absolutely this 💯.
Social/events for meeting in this form would really work and should be popular.
Watch this space 😉"
Would love to get involved in this, please do keep us posted
And if you need anything let me know x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm a strong believer that unless you like clubs and bars... Don't go looking for a partner in clubs and bars! I found my partner while doing the things I love.
The same is true for swinging. If it's a big part of who you are then it's better to try and date in the scene than date outside and "convinced" them to try it. That's not to say you can't introduce people to the scene, I have, but if you want to tick that box up front then date a swinger.
There's a lot of guys I've met on here and on Fabguys who go "my wife wouldn't understand". I can't imagine hiding such a fundamental thing from a life partner. My wife knew I was bi from the start and we started in a poly relationship! We are mono now for our own reasons.
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"Yes.
Personally I find for those of us that understand this lifestyle, that see it for its strengths and how it can empower yourself and a relationship.
I think meeting people in a social setting that would allow for a more “air to date” setting then a sexual one, would be a of great benefit for all parties to put themselves across to a number of persons in a fun and social way, with still keeping allowing a tone of “more then sex”. "
If we know the people we are chatting up are swingers in the first place it takes a huge amount of the pressure off. It allows us to just crack on with the normal dating thing and getting to know each other. Because we already know that if things work out down the line the swinging isn't an issue and it's something you're most likely to enjoy together as a couple. Just removes all the awkwardness around bringing up the subject, wasted time invested and rejection because of sexual/relationship preference.
Sadly it is a small scene (most people don't want to swing) so selection is limited. However in our/experience and my own of single dating (where I was always un front about it) more people especially women are intrested than you think. Maybe it's because of the exposure the scene gets in the media these days. As long as they've established your not a creep first you'd be suprised how many are open minded and will at least have an mature adult conversation about it.
Mr |
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We’ve been a cuckold couple for over 30 years and during that time Dee has had some serious bull/hotwife relationships but this have been difficult to manage at times for a number of reasons.
The lifestyle can be difficult at times and takes a lot more out of you than a traditional relationship. |
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"I would 100% be interested in this!! As someone in the lifestyle, finding a relationship is so difficult. As soon as it’s mentioned on the traditional dating sites people are either put off by it, or think you’re only after one thing. I’d love to find a meaningful relationship with someone I could still be involved in the lifestyle with, ideally with a hotwife or stag/vixen dynamic 🫶🏻"
I've given up. |
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"I am not currently seeking. But when I was actually single and looking it was fucking hard work pulling out the people who are actually ethically non monogamous from the sea of actually just arseholes who like to fuck around. And that's before factoring in compatibility and attraction 💜"
Ditto |
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This would be great to find as trying to find someone to share the lifestyle with in the vanilla world is not the easiest.
Though whilst it would be great to find someone on here that is looking for that too its not what I imagine most people are on here for and not something that can be rushed into.
If it happens it happens I would say. |
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"This would be great to find as trying to find someone to share the lifestyle with in the vanilla world is not the easiest.
Though whilst it would be great to find someone on here that is looking for that too its not what I imagine most people are on here for and not something that can be rushed into.
If it happens it happens I would say."
Well said |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah, I’m single and definitely open to finding a partner in the lifestyle. I’m drawn to ENM dynamics like stag/vixen or hotwife, but open to whatever feels right. It’s definitely tough bringing this up on vanilla apps, so a non-monogamous social sounds like a great idea—I’d be interested |
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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago
Ashton Under Lyne |
"Are you single in the scene but would love to find a partner in the lifestyle? To have an ENM relationship and swing, whether that's with them or solo, stag vixen, hotwife, hothusband, cuckold, open relationship etc in whatever dynamic appeals to you.
Do you find it difficult to meet someone in the lifestyle already?
Do you find if difficult to bring up this lifestyle when you meet someone on a 'vanilla' dating app?
Would you be interested in a non-monogamous dating event/social?
Xx"
Actively looking ..... not easy  |
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Think these find you, fab gives the chance to align desires. But just like on dating apps, the chat here, and the meets, well that where the relationship may flourish.so not a lot different I guess, just the tip side. |
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... might be the relationship part of ENM 
