Dear All,
I was just wondering what you thought about degradation and how it affects you sexually. For me being degraded and a sense of submission gives me the ability to enjoy the sex more. Having said that, is that truly submission? On the other hand, I do like fucking others. Just your thoughts why I do my life. |
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I'm not sure if this answers your question as in my limited experience I have wondered the same myself: that if someone enjoys degradation, how can it degrading. It is, simply, as the acts are degrading - which someone happens to like. The same as someone might like spanking, it is if they don't like it then questions need rasing.
It's an interesting topic and one that'll probably descend into 'ohh yeah I love that, that's great that', but it's a real different aspect of sex as it's a niche. I've only ever met one degradee I'd say.
I've met submissives and had submissive buddies for a fair time and there's a quite a difference in acts and personalities. With degradee's it's no doubt submission but it seemed anything you thought was a stretch of the imagination was added to or not enough, but with sub's boundaries are kept but pushed slightly.
I don't like to kiss and tell but it wasn't for me and she knew I couldn't get her off how she wanted. |
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Hi.
My view is that if you enjoy it and it gets you off, that's fine. It's your body and you are free to use it as you wish.
We all have our kinks and it sounds like you are lucky enough to be able to explore yours.
Go for it. |
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We’d say it’s not the act of being degraded, in whatever form it takes, that creates the enjoyment as such. It’s the feeling doing the act creates that leads to more enjoyment. And those feelings can range massively.
We love to degrade subs in various ways, and push their boundaries more to see how far they’re willing to go. |
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"We’d say it’s not the act of being degraded, in whatever form it takes, that creates the enjoyment as such. It’s the feeling doing the act creates that leads to more enjoyment. And those feelings can range massively.
We love to degrade subs in various ways, and push their boundaries more to see how far they’re willing to go. "
This is a great response. We couldn’t have been more eloquent x |
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"We’d say it’s not the act of being degraded, in whatever form it takes, that creates the enjoyment as such. It’s the feeling doing the act creates that leads to more enjoyment. And those feelings can range massively.
We love to degrade subs in various ways, and push their boundaries more to see how far they’re willing to go.
This is a great response. We couldn’t have been more eloquent x"
Thanks  x |
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"Dear All,
I was just wondering what you thought about degradation and how it affects you sexually. For me being degraded and a sense of submission gives me the ability to enjoy the sex more. Having said that, is that truly submission? On the other hand, I do like fucking others. Just your thoughts why I do my life. "
I think the words ‘sense of submission’ are key. It doesn’t matter if it’s true submission or not but if you sense it, then it is submission right?
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"Dear All,
I was just wondering what you thought about degradation and how it affects you sexually. For me being degraded and a sense of submission gives me the ability to enjoy the sex more. Having said that, is that truly submission? On the other hand, I do like fucking others. Just your thoughts why I do my life.
I think the words ‘sense of submission’ are key. It doesn’t matter if it’s true submission or not but if you sense it, then it is submission right?
"
I agree. It is that sense and the feelings that result in whatever kind of submission people enjoy. |
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"Yes. It’s like I need to be like I’m not in control. Maybe it has something that pregnancy gives. A lack of control of your body. "
People say don't yuk on others yum but I've honestly seen good people change poor. You know doubt know this already but if you haven't got people around you that give you perspective, then you need to get some.
People will egg you on, people will say what you want to hear, do increasingly wild shit and so on until normal has gone, but for me having 'yes men' isn't healthy. Once it affects jobs, health, friendships, general habits, it becomes destructive.
Sex isn't life, it's a healthy part of it.. It's not the be all and end all. You mention pregnancy - for me kinks are yours, they aren't a gift to all.
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I get why people like it & I'm happy for them. But it's not for me, either as dom or sub. I can't separate the feeling that the sub isn't enjoying it as much as me. I like to see the other person enjoying themselves from my actions & show that I'm enjoying what they're doing. Guess that's why I tend to be a bottom. |
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I'm the same as you I like a good level of degradation with my sex. That's why I tend to stay within the BDSM community, specifically D/s.
I enjoy sex but I like to feel that I'm being used, useful and serving. Not sure why it's just how I'm wired. |
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"I’ve heard that people in high powered jobs love degrading and submitting. That’s certainly not me. So it’s not a power switch thing. So what is it for me?"
I am not a believer in the lazy stereotypes that are popular with vanilla people pretending to be BDSM experts. The reason why people do kinky things (in the sense (a) they have a compulsion to do these alternative activities and (b) the prime motive is not sexual) is diverse, endlessly nuanced and individual, not all kinky people know why they do it, or, are honest to themselves. I believe in leaving the the reasons to trained psychotherapists, there are too many untrained people ready to psychoanalyse. It is possible someone may be explain it to you, but aa stated above I would be doubtful.
In regard to submission I distinguish between genuine power/authority exchange, bottoming, bedroom play and role play.
However, to follow on from what someone said above, if the sense of submission works for you, that is good enough. |
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By *ickD80Man 5 weeks ago
Wolverhampton |
My ex used to treat me in a manner which i guess would be considered degrading. Things such as locking my cock in a cage, making me eat off the floor, locking me in the cupboard under the stairs, having to ask for permission to go to the toilet…. amongst other things. The majority of what would be considered degrading was non sexual though and I don’t think that degrading is the correct description for it. It was all a way for her to assert her authority over me and for me to show my obedience to her, that’s why they were tasks that were uncomfortable for me. The intent was never to degrade me. |
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Sounds like reasonable D/s to me and is done by and to both genders.
Although I believe making people request to go the toilet is harsh in my books, but in D/s terms it is not unreasonable or extreme.
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