FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Wrong with me?
Wrong with me?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well, not sure what is wrong with me apart from the fact that i cant accommodate. Im no Twiggy or a woman with fabulous looks but am very good at getting asked to meet, then being cancelled on. Anyway, if anyone is feeling generous enough, and you havent looked at my profile before, Id appreciate some fresh eyes on it and some feedback. But if not, thats ok, too. Females get bruised egos too sometimes.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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maybe its not your profile maybe its what you say to people and how you come across, or how you come across on the forums. you have met people on here before. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
Hard work aint it? I gave up on one on one meets mostly and now stick to clubs and parties. I know Southampton is not over-endowed with that sort of thing but maybe worth a look round for socials and parties. |
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"maybe its not your profile maybe its what you say to people and how you come across, or how you come across on the forums. you have met people on here before."
have to agree, if your getting people who are interested in meets then your initial profile must be fine.
Could be something your saying to the that puts them off
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
Hope you don't mind another lady commenting...
You are playing away without consent, that will be a major factor for some (although double standards mean its less of an issue for a lady)
Its a bit negative and comes across as whiny.
Your looking to meet a lady but are straight... is this just social or are you unsure?
Put the positive stuff first.
Its also quite selfish, you mention your interests are limited but don't actually explain what you are looking for.
You've had loads of meets, and were last verified 4 weeks ago, I'm not really sure what your expectations are of the site - to me it looks like you are doing ok.
As for being cancelled on - that may be down to your selection criteria, but I don't know. It also depends on the times you can meet, and the pool of people who can meet at similar times.
Good luck! |
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By *i015Man
over a year ago
Millbrook, Southampton |
"Well, not sure what is wrong with me apart from the fact that i cant accommodate. Im no Twiggy or a woman with fabulous looks but am very good at getting asked to meet, then being cancelled on. Anyway, if anyone is feeling generous enough, and you havent looked at my profile before, Id appreciate some fresh eyes on it and some feedback. But if not, thats ok, too. Females get bruised egos too sometimes. "
I would love to meet up with you, only problem is that I'm out of your age range and I'm a smoker, if you were to message me saying that you wanted to meet up for a drink then I'd definitely make time for you. I guess most the men that arrange a meet with you just think that you wouldn't find them attractive and bottle it |
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"Hope you don't mind another lady commenting...
You are playing away without consent, that will be a major factor for some (although double standards mean its less of an issue for a lady)
Its a bit negative and comes across as whiny.
Your looking to meet a lady but are straight... is this just social or are you unsure?
Put the positive stuff first.
Its also quite selfish, you mention your interests are limited but don't actually explain what you are looking for.
You've had loads of meets, and were last verified 4 weeks ago, I'm not really sure what your expectations are of the site - to me it looks like you are doing ok.
As for being cancelled on - that may be down to your selection criteria, but I don't know. It also depends on the times you can meet, and the pool of people who can meet at similar times.
Good luck!"
That ^^  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well you dont seem to do too badly. I think lower your expectations of how many meets you can cram in.
With you being married and a huge proportion of the single guys being married then it means that both of you getting the same time alone and sorting a venue will be a problem.
And at least you're upfront about being married. But then it probably doesn't detract from the interest in you as much as it would a guy.
Some of the pics are OK, but lose the closeup blurry ones. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well, not sure what is wrong with me apart from the fact that i cant accommodate. Im no Twiggy or a woman with fabulous looks but am very good at getting asked to meet, then being cancelled on. Anyway, if anyone is feeling generous enough, and you havent looked at my profile before, Id appreciate some fresh eyes on it and some feedback. But if not, thats ok, too. Females get bruised egos too sometimes. "
I would love to meet you but am under your age requirements. I'm a genuine and verified chap who turns up when he says he does. I'd love to hear from you and see if we could meet up sometime   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Exactly the same advise I'd give a guy....read your profile...would you meet you?
Go to socials or clubs....heathrow isn't far so you could try abfabs. I was in pompy until recently so I know there is plenty if genuine guys in the area.
Also summer is harder to get meets, it's peak holiday season & kids are at home.
Look at your selection criteria.....only thing same in every arrangement is you.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"maybe its not your profile maybe its what you say to people and how you come across, or how you come across on the forums. you have met people on here before."
Thank you, yes I have. My veris mostly say how nice I am, lovely lady etc. I do have one or two that say im naughty or words to that effect in the bedroom but the majority mention my niceness. Thank you for your help |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Exactly the same advise I'd give a guy....read your profile...would you meet you?
Go to socials or clubs....heathrow isn't far so you could try abfabs. I was in pompy until recently so I know there is plenty if genuine guys in the area.
Also summer is harder to get meets, it's peak holiday season & kids are at home.
Look at your selection criteria.....only thing same in every arrangement is you.
"
I, unfortunately, cant travel. Am nervous of trying clubs too. I wouldnt want to go alone. Sorry if im being thick, but I dont quite understand the selection criteria bit. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Exactly the same advise I'd give a guy....read your profile...would you meet you?
Go to socials or clubs....heathrow isn't far so you could try abfabs. I was in pompy until recently so I know there is plenty if genuine guys in the area.
Also summer is harder to get meets, it's peak holiday season & kids are at home.
Look at your selection criteria.....only thing same in every arrangement is you.
I, unfortunately, cant travel. Am nervous of trying clubs too. I wouldnt want to go alone. Sorry if im being thick, but I dont quite understand the selection criteria bit. "
about the bit would I meet myself, my profile gives all the information I thought men would need but maybe im wrong.
Do you guys prefer to have to ask questions or prefer to have all the info up front? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well you dont seem to do too badly. I think lower your expectations of how many meets you can cram in.
With you being married and a huge proportion of the single guys being married then it means that both of you getting the same time alone and sorting a venue will be a problem.
And at least you're upfront about being married. But then it probably doesn't detract from the interest in you as much as it would a guy.
Some of the pics are OK, but lose the closeup blurry ones."
Thank you. I dont really have any expectations of lots of meets but wouldnt mind one or two just now and again. Ill look at my pics |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well, not sure what is wrong with me apart from the fact that i cant accommodate. Im no Twiggy or a woman with fabulous looks but am very good at getting asked to meet, then being cancelled on. Anyway, if anyone is feeling generous enough, and you havent looked at my profile before, Id appreciate some fresh eyes on it and some feedback. But if not, thats ok, too. Females get bruised egos too sometimes.
I would love to meet you but am under your age requirements. I'm a genuine and verified chap who turns up when he says he does. I'd love to hear from you and see if we could meet up sometime "
Thank you for saying so but you are too young. The same age as my son so it is a no go area, sorry |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hope you don't mind another lady commenting...
You are playing away without consent, that will be a major factor for some (although double standards mean its less of an issue for a lady)
Its a bit negative and comes across as whiny.
Your looking to meet a lady but are straight... is this just social or are you unsure?
Put the positive stuff first.
Its also quite selfish, you mention your interests are limited but don't actually explain what you are looking for.
You've had loads of meets, and were last verified 4 weeks ago, I'm not really sure what your expectations are of the site - to me it looks like you are doing ok.
As for being cancelled on - that may be down to your selection criteria, but I don't know. It also depends on the times you can meet, and the pool of people who can meet at similar times.
Good luck!"
Im not looking to meet women. I did tick that box as I was feeling a bit unsure I guess is the word but I have unticked it a while ago. Regarding my interests I meant my interests lists is limited. Im too nervous to try anything else. Re the positives, I thought getting the married stuff etc out the way would be a positive thank you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hard work aint it? I gave up on one on one meets mostly and now stick to clubs and parties. I know Southampton is not over-endowed with that sort of thing but maybe worth a look round for socials and parties."
Like you say Southampton is not good for socials. I cant go on my own, too nervous. yes it is hard
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i gets lots of people wanting to meet me too but have had quite a few cancel as well. not so bad if they let you know. what i find funny though is when i talk on the phone to someone they say we will meet next week, then i dont hear from them again. then a few months later they keep messaging me saying they want to see me.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i gets lots of people wanting to meet me too but have had quite a few cancel as well. not so bad if they let you know. what i find funny though is when i talk on the phone to someone they say we will meet next week, then i dont hear from them again. then a few months later they keep messaging me saying they want to see me.
"
Ive had this too. whats the point in messaging again when they have already cancelled once. they will do it again |
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"i gets lots of people wanting to meet me too but have had quite a few cancel as well. not so bad if they let you know. what i find funny though is when i talk on the phone to someone they say we will meet next week, then i dont hear from them again. then a few months later they keep messaging me saying they want to see me.
Ive had this too. whats the point in messaging again when they have already cancelled once. they will do it again "
Think some men want to meet ! But bottle it for one reason or another,(the married ones especially) I would not take it personally , how ever it is annoying, especially when your time is limited and you could be meeting others  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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hi ,well just seen your profile and gorgeous photo,s, and cant message as out of age range, boo hoo, am very fit tall elegant mature gut and would meet at drop of hat, also would not be a let down, if I say I meet I do, so look forward to hearing yours john, xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i gets lots of people wanting to meet me too but have had quite a few cancel as well. not so bad if they let you know. what i find funny though is when i talk on the phone to someone they say we will meet next week, then i dont hear from them again. then a few months later they keep messaging me saying they want to see me.
Ive had this too. whats the point in messaging again when they have already cancelled once. they will do it again
Think some men want to meet ! But bottle it for one reason or another,(the married ones especially) I would not take it personally , how ever it is annoying, especially when your time is limited and you could be meeting others "
its difficult not to take it personally. but i am trying to develop a harder shell. yes it is annoying. my time is limited but I do have some free time and I know when that is obviously. I have more free time at the moment, school holidays, but probably it will still be same |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hope you don't mind another lady commenting...
You are playing away without consent, that will be a major factor for some (although double standards mean its less of an issue for a lady)
Its a bit negative and comes across as whiny.
Your looking to meet a lady but are straight... is this just social or are you unsure?
Put the positive stuff first.
Its also quite selfish, you mention your interests are limited but don't actually explain what you are looking for.
You've had loads of meets, and were last verified 4 weeks ago, I'm not really sure what your expectations are of the site - to me it looks like you are doing ok.
As for being cancelled on - that may be down to your selection criteria, but I don't know. It also depends on the times you can meet, and the pool of people who can meet at similar times.
Good luck!"
I havent had loads of meets. i have done ok but dont consider it loads. sorry i appear selfish, I dont mean to appear that way. If people message me and want to meet, I then tell them times and when I can meet, or if they state a particular day and I can then I say I can. I think we all have some expectations of some kind or other on here, maybe im wrong but I dont think so. |
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"Well, not sure what is wrong with me apart from the fact that i cant accommodate. Im no Twiggy or a woman with fabulous looks but am very good at getting asked to meet, then being cancelled on. Anyway, if anyone is feeling generous enough, and you havent looked at my profile before, Id appreciate some fresh eyes on it and some feedback. But if not, thats ok, too. Females get bruised egos too sometimes. "
You come across as very attractive to me, your photos I would say strike me as my ideal body type. As someone else said you're married and a lot of 'single' men are too. I've noticed that it's often the 'single' men who can't accommodate who get called into work last minute, basically they bottle it.
Maybe as well it's something or things that come across when you're arranging a meet. I presume that you actually speak to these guys, if not maybe you should, I certainly wouldn't meet with someone I haven't spoken to.
As for you being married I don't think that would bother too many of the guys on here the married ones are into cheating anyway and will appreciate you're into NSA. The single ones will usually think 'go for it,' you obviously want something more than you're getting at home so why not?
All in all from what I can see I wish you were in Manchester, unless you're face photos are hideous which I can't imagine they are?
Funnily enough some years ago I used to make regular business visits to Southampton and usually got a train straight through to Manchester just after 1pm. When I was leaving I would usually have a lump of tax free cash. I would have gladly have got a hotel to meet you in and got the next day's train home |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well, not sure what is wrong with me apart from the fact that i cant accommodate. Im no Twiggy or a woman with fabulous looks but am very good at getting asked to meet, then being cancelled on. Anyway, if anyone is feeling generous enough, and you havent looked at my profile before, Id appreciate some fresh eyes on it and some feedback. But if not, thats ok, too. Females get bruised egos too sometimes. "
RedScorpio, I dont see anything wrong with your profile. Droughts happen, dont doubt yourself.
Why, if I were in Southampton I would jump at the chance to have you delete me messages  |
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Nothing wrong what so ever that I can see. Well constructed profile and a nice selection of pics to look at. The fact you cannot accommodate would not be an issue to many here it seems you have just been a little unlucky with the guys you have been chatting to recently as your varies speak volumes for you. Good luck in the future x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This may be a daft suggestion, given the travel involved, but have you considered a day trip to Kestrels? You could legitimately say you are going for a spa day, hop on a train, spend the day socialising and be back for tea. If you don't want to go alone, you could arrange a wingperson through here - there are always people going. I tend to do that at Eureka's. I don't think your profile is the problem, more the logistics in arranging meets. Anyway, hope that helps, good luck x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe it's your selection process, I chat off site with potential meets 1st before arranging a social meet to see how we get on. When I stick to this method always works out well as we already know a little about each other so there's less pressure & nerves, less chance of someone bottling out!
I go to kestrels every so often ~ it's a chilled out place, I'm sure if you were to pop a meet up for there you would be inundated with messages.
good luck hun x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you all for your recent advice. Ill take them all on board, might take a while. Maybe my selection process is that im a bit too choosy, perhaps I should relax that a little, although I did that a while ago, wont go into detail as its not allowed, but needless to say it didnt work out. so plan b lol. not that i know what that is but maybe something will come to me |
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By *layerzCouple
over a year ago
Swansea |
You seem very nice and look like you could be great fun, however, whilst honesty is definitely the best policy, the fact you are doing this without your husbands consent is certain to go against the principles of many care free, happy go lucky swingers... It just wouldn't sit right...
That said... Maybe you should try and bring hubby on board, if not, please be careful, very careful you are playing for very high stakes here.
Xxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hard work aint it? I gave up on one on one meets mostly and now stick to clubs and parties. I know Southampton is not over-endowed with that sort of thing but maybe worth a look round for socials and parties.
Like you say Southampton is not good for socials. I cant go on my own, too nervous. yes it is hard
"
There are plenty of socials in Southampton and many men looking to meet. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hard work aint it? I gave up on one on one meets mostly and now stick to clubs and parties. I know Southampton is not over-endowed with that sort of thing but maybe worth a look round for socials and parties.
Like you say Southampton is not good for socials. I cant go on my own, too nervous. yes it is hard
There are plenty of socials in Southampton and many men looking to meet. "
ive looked in the section for socials, ive never seen any |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You do seem to put a lot if hurdles in the way of all the suggestions you get.
"
i apologise if it seems that way. its not deliberate but its not easy being a single married female on here. I do have some restrictions. Im not the only one with restrictions |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
"You do seem to put a lot if hurdles in the way of all the suggestions you get.
i apologise if it seems that way. its not deliberate but its not easy being a single married female on here. I do have some restrictions. Im not the only one with restrictions"
my heart bleeds... maybe its the defeatist attitude that puts folk off... and I am sure there are loads of single guys who would kill for the number of meets you are complaining isn't enough.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Read profile, ya havent got anal listed in your intrests. . . . That might be the problem?"
Why would that be a problem?
If the lady isn't interested in it she shouldn't list it, pointless to list something she doesn't want to do. I don't have it listed either and it's never been a problem for me! |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
"Ive taken out stuff from my profile. hopefully its ok now. nope no anal here, ive experienced it once two years ago. "
Looks a bit better, shame you've taken out the honest bit about playing with no consent from hubby... surely its only fair to allow people to decide if thats what they want? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ive taken out stuff from my profile. hopefully its ok now. nope no anal here, ive experienced it once two years ago. "
You dont have to like everything on here, if they dont like it there are plenty of others they can choose from. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Read profile, ya havent got anal listed in your intrests. . . . That might be the problem?
Why would that be a problem?
If the lady isn't interested in it she shouldn't list it, pointless to list something she doesn't want to do. I don't have it listed either and it's never been a problem for me! "
Thank you for saying this. I wasnt quite sure how to respond politely. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ive taken out stuff from my profile. hopefully its ok now. nope no anal here, ive experienced it once two years ago.
Looks a bit better, shame you've taken out the honest bit about playing with no consent from hubby... surely its only fair to allow people to decide if thats what they want?"
yes you are right. I think i must have pressed backspace too eagerly. ill put it back. thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ive taken out stuff from my profile. hopefully its ok now. nope no anal here, ive experienced it once two years ago.
Looks a bit better, shame you've taken out the honest bit about playing with no consent from hubby... surely its only fair to allow people to decide if thats what they want?
yes you are right. I think i must have pressed backspace too eagerly. ill put it back. thank you "
I think as long as you tell people before you meet then it's upto you what you want to show on your profile... |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"Read profile, ya havent got anal listed in your intrests. . . . That might be the problem?"
And why would it be? Anal is not the be all and end all, you try it (taking) and see if you enjoy it!
It's not on my interests as I'm not interested in it! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"maybe it could be guys don't want to meet a woman who's cheating?"
I accept they may not wish to meet a cheating wife and thats fine with me. My original post was concerned with the constant arranging and cancellations of meets. Ive had my post answered. Had some really nice support on here and Ive read all the posts, and accept the critical ones too. Im critical myself too in here sometimes. But its all good advice and I asked for advice etc. Im happy with my profile now and if it works then it does, if not, well c'est la vie |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
If it's any consolation I don't attract the guys I want to meet! Mine are either all attached and playing away or visiting for the night, even the 3 line version at the top of my profile is bloody ignored!   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well, not sure what is wrong with me apart from the fact that i cant accommodate. Im no Twiggy or a woman with fabulous looks but am very good at getting asked to meet, then being cancelled on. Anyway, if anyone is feeling generous enough, and you havent looked at my profile before, Id appreciate some fresh eyes on it and some feedback. But if not, thats ok, too. Females get bruised egos too sometimes. "
the only thing wrong is your to far away for me .. |
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Red,
Profile looks great. Pics looking hot....don't be too harsh on yourself.
I'd cut that crap right out as well about the not being a twiggy. You look yummy regardless of how fat or thin you actually feel.
Sounds like you've had some bad look attracting and talking to the wrong guys. Keep you chin up and keep looking. Your yummy..your profiles yummy. Its all to play for.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Red,
Profile looks great. Pics looking hot....don't be too harsh on yourself.
I'd cut that crap right out as well about the not being a twiggy. You look yummy regardless of how fat or thin you actually feel.
Sounds like you've had some bad look attracting and talking to the wrong guys. Keep you chin up and keep looking. Your yummy..your profiles yummy. Its all to play for. "
thank you and nice bum you have there. |
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"Well, not sure what is wrong with me apart from the fact that i cant accommodate. Im no Twiggy or a woman with fabulous looks but am very good at getting asked to meet, then being cancelled on. Anyway, if anyone is feeling generous enough, and you havent looked at my profile before, Id appreciate some fresh eyes on it and some feedback. But if not, thats ok, too. Females get bruised egos too sometimes. the only thing wrong is your to far away for me .. "
this |
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"
thank you and nice bum you have there. "
thanks....but I don't think its a scratch on yours.....
oooo....I could just bite yours....what a yummy peach.....
I'll be looking you up next time I'm in Southampton |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's fuck all to do with anyone else whether you're married or not, most of the 'single' men on here are married, just have fun."
Well it is.
When the angry husband comes pounding on the door after he finds out.
Just because you think cheating is harmless doesn't mean the person being cheated on does. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's fuck all to do with anyone else whether you're married or not, most of the 'single' men on here are married, just have fun."
'most single men on here are married'?? that's a very sweeping statement!!
And I disagree that it's 'fuck all' to do with anyone else whether you're married or not. It has a lot to do with the person you're meeting if they get found out and you're dragged into something you weren't aware of! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's fuck all to do with anyone else whether you're married or not, most of the 'single' men on here are married, just have fun.
'most single men on here are married'?? that's a very sweeping statement!!
And I disagree that it's 'fuck all' to do with anyone else whether you're married or not. It has a lot to do with the person you're meeting if they get found out and you're dragged into something you weren't aware of! "
yes as we found out to our cost once when a "single guys" wife was texing and threatening and using his profile on here to try and trick us into meeting again ( even after we did all our usual tricks to check he was single ) |
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"It's fuck all to do with anyone else whether you're married or not, most of the 'single' men on here are married, just have fun."
Actually it does if it could impact on someone else. As for the "most" single men comment...sweeping generalisation to try and make yourself look good!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm at a club right now and no-one is interested. Now thats a loser 
No they are the losers. Missing out on you.
*cringe*
My gag reflex has come into play reading some of these comments! "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
thank you and nice bum you have there.
thanks....but I don't think its a scratch on yours.....
oooo....I could just bite yours....what a yummy peach.....
I'll be looking you up next time I'm in Southampton "
Message me with a face pic if you are interested. more to me than just my bum but thank you for the compliment. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's fuck all to do with anyone else whether you're married or not, most of the 'single' men on here are married, just have fun.
'most single men on here are married'?? that's a very sweeping statement!!
And I disagree that it's 'fuck all' to do with anyone else whether you're married or not. It has a lot to do with the person you're meeting if they get found out and you're dragged into something you weren't aware of! "
I agree with this. It is why I state it in my profile and I also remind any guys in messaging if they dont mention it. It gives them the get out clause if they dont want to meet me. |
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