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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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That awful moment when someone sends there face pics and they are (to put it kindly) not your cup of tea. Do you
1. Say oh very nice and never message again.
2. Say nothing and hope they don't message.
3. Block
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's no need for rudeness, there's a face for everyone out there, people should understand that not everyone will fancy them, a polite no thanks is all that's required  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We just say a polite thank you but your not what we are looking for. It's a very difficult one  "
This. Potentially add a polite white lie as to not hurt the person's feelings, should they sound like the type to be offended.
Blocking or ignoring messages feels lazy & kind. I respect those that have the decency to politely say "no". (Although I understand when you get 100 messages it can get tiresome.) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We just say a polite thank you but your not what we are looking for. It's a very difficult one "
Its a tough one.
If you reply saying thanks but no thanks, you run the risk of the why not, hardly a looker yourself etc.
But blocking seems harsh.
Best to block really. If you don't like their looks, nothing is going to change that.
More often than not I get blocked, but understand why. Whoever blocks me has decided I am not for them. End of.
Once I did have a not for me thanks. We carried on chatting and I got a second chance, letting my personality win through. That is one out of countless blocks though. I'm a munter, but a charmer with it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That awful moment when someone sends there face pics and they are (to put it kindly) not your cup of tea. Do you
1. Say oh very nice and never message again.
2. Say nothing and hope they don't message.
3. Block
"
3
 We'd most probably go with number 1 and hope they get the message
S x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I usually say "cute but not really my type, hope you have fun!" Shit sandwich. Lol. Trouble is, more often then not you'll get back a "what is your type?" Or "what's wrong with me?" It's difficult not getting drawn into conversation because you don't want to be rude. I've started to block people but I feel bad about it but otherwise the same people contact you again a few weeks later. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why is it an issue? Aren't we all adults? I don't see why it's a problem. Just say sorry they're not your type.
Some people get offended for the fun of it.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That awful moment when someone sends there face pics and they are (to put it kindly) not your cup of tea. Do you
1. Say oh very nice and never message again.
2. Say nothing and hope they don't message.
3. Block
"
This is why we have face pics on our profile. Saves all those awkward rejections. . .
Also stops a ton of speculative messages from people who ultimately won't want to meet us.  |
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A simple "thanks but you're not my type I'm afraid" is by far the most decent way to reply. If they have any decency and pride they should accept that (I always respond to "thanks but no thanks" messages politely by thanking them for their reply and their honesty and wishing them the best). If they respond in a negative way, then just block them, simple.
I think deleting a message without any kind of response is rude (unless their message is tacky/rude in which case they don't deserve a reply) but to delete AND block them, when all they've done is send a polite message? Incredibly, incredibly rude!!
I always find it ironic when people on here who don't display either manners or decency then put statuses up saying "where are all the polite blokes? Sick and tired of people being rude to me" I'm guessing they haven't heard of the concept of karma... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A simple "thanks but you're not my type I'm afraid" is by far the most decent way to reply. If they have any decency and pride they should accept that (I always respond to "thanks but no thanks" messages politely by thanking them for their reply and their honesty and wishing them the best). If they respond in a negative way, then just block them, simple.
I think deleting a message without any kind of response is rude (unless their message is tacky/rude in which case they don't deserve a reply) but to delete AND block them, when all they've done is send a polite message? Incredibly, incredibly rude!!
I always find it ironic when people on here who don't display either manners or decency then put statuses up saying "where are all the polite blokes? Sick and tired of people being rude to me" I'm guessing they haven't heard of the concept of karma... "
To your entire post. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A simple "thanks but you're not my type I'm afraid" is by far the most decent way to reply. If they have any decency and pride they should accept that (I always respond to "thanks but no thanks" messages politely by thanking them for their reply and their honesty and wishing them the best). If they respond in a negative way, then just block them, simple.
I think deleting a message without any kind of response is rude (unless their message is tacky/rude in which case they don't deserve a reply) but to delete AND block them, when all they've done is send a polite message? Incredibly, incredibly rude!!
I always find it ironic when people on here who don't display either manners or decency then put statuses up saying "where are all the polite blokes? Sick and tired of people being rude to me" I'm guessing they haven't heard of the concept of karma... "
I so agree with this ok some ladies get inundated with messages and do a bit of filtering but no response seems harsh .
I know I aint an oil painting so when I get asked for a face pic I still send it knowing it will get me turned down but if I am polite enough to respect the request for a face pic surely a polite sorry not our /my type would do as a response |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is exactly why i won't respond without seeing a face pic first.
First came on here, chatted all the time to a great guy, really fun, interesting and just always had a good vibe (the talking was that good i didn't even realise i hadn't seen his pics and didn't care). Anyway, one day he goes on about showing me his face pic and even said 'and here's where you stop talking to me'.
And i didn't stop talking to him but i honestly didn't know how to tell him i wasn't attracted to his looks. Blocked him ages ago and feel ashamed of myself for it but was nervous to tell someone i don't fancy them. I block anyone i don't fancy as well so i don't have to go through this with anyone else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is it an issue? Aren't we all adults? I don't see why it's a problem. Just say sorry they're not your type.
Some people get offended for the fun of it. "
I'm immature and still learning all about how to handle people. Got poor social skills as well with people idk. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That awful moment when someone sends there face pics and they are (to put it kindly) not your cup of tea. Do you
1. Say oh very nice and never message again.
2. Say nothing and hope they don't message.
3. Block
"
most block its so much quicker |
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"This is exactly why i won't respond without seeing a face pic first.
First came on here, chatted all the time to a great guy, really fun, interesting and just always had a good vibe (the talking was that good i didn't even realise i hadn't seen his pics and didn't care). Anyway, one day he goes on about showing me his face pic and even said 'and here's where you stop talking to me'.
And i didn't stop talking to him but i honestly didn't know how to tell him i wasn't attracted to his looks. Blocked him ages ago and feel ashamed of myself for it but was nervous to tell someone i don't fancy them. I block anyone i don't fancy as well so i don't have to go through this with anyone else."
As someone who's been on the receiving end of all 3 types of response (as no doubt many others have...) I would prefer a polite "no thanks" everytime instead of being deleted or blocked!
I understand the sheer volume of messages women get, making it impossible to reply to all... However, there are surely not that many "decent" messages (i.e not short, tacky "fancy a fuck hun?" messages, or lazy, one size fits all, copy and paste efforts)... I would reply to those worthy of a reply and ignore the rest.
If I've been chatting to someone for a while, then see their pics and am not interested, yes it's a bit awkward, but I still feel you at least owe them the decency of simple honesty. If they're as decent as you think they are, they'll understand. If you just block them mid conversation without warning, especially having had such a pleasant conversation previously, they're going to be left pretty stunned and aren't going to understand why.
On a final note, sooner or later you're going to be chatting to someone you do really like. Would you prefer them to be polite, respectful and honest with you, or to just block you without warning or reason? I always try to treat others at all times in the way I'd like to be treated myself... |
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"That awful moment when someone sends there face pics and they are (to put it kindly) not your cup of tea. Do you
1. Say oh very nice and never message again.
2. Say nothing and hope they don't message.
3. Block
"
I tell them how it is |
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I get this occasionally. I have no issue if people dobt find my Shrek like looks appealling. I am used to it.
Looks arent everything anyway so I will still meet someone who isnt my COT if I have enjoyed the chat.
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By *exine xCouple
over a year ago
Leicester |
"We just say a polite thank you but your not what we are looking for. It's a very difficult one "
We do this. We hate doing it but you have to be honest.
Really hate the thought of hurting someone's feelings though.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
As someone who's been on the receiving end of all 3 types of response (as no doubt many others have...) I would prefer a polite "no thanks" everytime instead of being deleted or blocked!
I understand the sheer volume of messages women get, making it impossible to reply to all... However, there are surely not that many "decent" messages (i.e not short, tacky "fancy a fuck hun?" messages, or lazy, one size fits all, copy and paste efforts)... I would reply to those worthy of a reply and ignore the rest.
If I've been chatting to someone for a while, then see their pics and am not interested, yes it's a bit awkward, but I still feel you at least owe them the decency of simple honesty. If they're as decent as you think they are, they'll understand. If you just block them mid conversation without warning, especially having had such a pleasant conversation previously, they're going to be left pretty stunned and aren't going to understand why.
On a final note, sooner or later you're going to be chatting to someone you do really like. Would you prefer them to be polite, respectful and honest with you, or to just block you without warning or reason? I always try to treat others at all times in the way I'd like to be treated myself..."
Thanks, i am still learning and did have the idea that what i did was wrong at the time because i felt bad about it.
I didn't stop talking to him mid conversation but i never told him i didn't fancy him, then we stopped talking for a few weeks then i just panicked and blocked him.
I have no problem telling strangers (who i can see have put an effort into their message to me) that their message was great but i'm not interested, just people i've got a connection with i find it hard to reject them. I actually have great irl friends (not many) because they know i struggle socially and am sometimes accidently inappropriate when socialising.
But yeah i did lose what might have been a good friend because i'm shallow, but have had other guys who i tell them i don't fancy them but they take it as you might fancy them if they carry on chatting you and that pisses me off as well, like they said they would be friends but then they try to snog you or grope you when you meet up, so i don't understand it all yet and probably never will when it comes to situations like this. Just kind of got a balance right now of completely excluding anyone i don't fancy and leaving it at that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
As someone who's been on the receiving end of all 3 types of response (as no doubt many others have...) I would prefer a polite "no thanks" everytime instead of being deleted or blocked!
I understand the sheer volume of messages women get, making it impossible to reply to all... However, there are surely not that many "decent" messages (i.e not short, tacky "fancy a fuck hun?" messages, or lazy, one size fits all, copy and paste efforts)... I would reply to those worthy of a reply and ignore the rest.
If I've been chatting to someone for a while, then see their pics and am not interested, yes it's a bit awkward, but I still feel you at least owe them the decency of simple honesty. If they're as decent as you think they are, they'll understand. If you just block them mid conversation without warning, especially having had such a pleasant conversation previously, they're going to be left pretty stunned and aren't going to understand why.
On a final note, sooner or later you're going to be chatting to someone you do really like. Would you prefer them to be polite, respectful and honest with you, or to just block you without warning or reason? I always try to treat others at all times in the way I'd like to be treated myself...
Thanks, i am still learning and did have the idea that what i did was wrong at the time because i felt bad about it.
I didn't stop talking to him mid conversation but i never told him i didn't fancy him, then we stopped talking for a few weeks then i just panicked and blocked him.
I have no problem telling strangers (who i can see have put an effort into their message to me) that their message was great but i'm not interested, just people i've got a connection with i find it hard to reject them. I actually have great irl friends (not many) because they know i struggle socially and am sometimes accidently inappropriate when socialising.
But yeah i did lose what might have been a good friend because i'm shallow, but have had other guys who i tell them i don't fancy them but they take it as you might fancy them if they carry on chatting you and that pisses me off as well, like they said they would be friends but then they try to snog you or grope you when you meet up, so i don't understand it all yet and probably never will when it comes to situations like this. Just kind of got a balance right now of completely excluding anyone i don't fancy and leaving it at that."
Your situation is clearly different. My comments about being adult were about the rest of the Fab population.
It's not shallow not finding someone attractive. We can't fancy everyone. Your final paragraph sounds familiar- you're not alone with that at all. Don't worry. |
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"
However, there are surely not that many "decent" messages (i.e not short, tacky "fancy a fuck hun?" messages, or lazy, one size fits all, copy and paste efforts)... I would reply to those worthy of a reply and ignore the rest."
You are right.
But you do also need to understand the accumulative effect of being on here as a couple or single female. It's not a couple of messages a week. it's a lot, every day. It can just get... tiring.
It's not an excuse, we try and mail the nice ones, we do but sometimes you log in and think "oh fuck it, there's too many" and hit mass delete. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I (him) had a single profile, I was asked for a face pic by someone (who had no pics at all) to receive the reply - "fuck me, what a munter!" Followed by being blocked. Charming!  |
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"That awful moment when someone sends there face pics and they are (to put it kindly) not your cup of tea. Do you
1. Say oh very nice and never message again.
2. Say nothing and hope they don't message.
3. Block
"
We say 'Thanks but no thanks'. Then we delete the message for their peace of mind. Simple. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
However, there are surely not that many "decent" messages (i.e not short, tacky "fancy a fuck hun?" messages, or lazy, one size fits all, copy and paste efforts)... I would reply to those worthy of a reply and ignore the rest.
You are right.
But you do also need to understand the accumulative effect of being on here as a couple or single female. It's not a couple of messages a week. it's a lot, every day. It can just get... tiring.
It's not an excuse, we try and mail the nice ones, we do but sometimes you log in and think "oh fuck it, there's too many" and hit mass delete."
It's much easier to be off the searches and go looking. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Your situation is clearly different. My comments about being adult were about the rest of the Fab population.
It's not shallow not finding someone attractive. We can't fancy everyone. Your final paragraph sounds familiar- you're not alone with that at all. Don't worry. "
I didn't take your comment personally, just sometimes i comment in the hope of advice. Thankyou.
Yeah i suppose it's not shallow, just it feels it because i usually accept people for who they are. But on here you can take that further and be fussy and choosy and that's not like me at all usually, i do usually go for personality over everything, but obviously i'm not here looking for someone to have company with other than sex really. It's nice when you can chat and that, and i do with guys i already met or are planning on meeting but that's not what i'm looking for coz i can get that with plenty of other people. Haha i'll probably change my techniques again when i figure out what i'm doing and looking for, if anything. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That awful moment when someone sends there face pics and they are (to put it kindly) not your cup of tea. Do you
1. Say oh very nice and never message again.
2. Say nothing and hope they don't message.
3. Block
"
Why would you say oh very nice if you don't really think so? 
When a man sends me a face pic and I don't find him attractive I just say thank you for your message but I'm not interested. I usually get a reply back saying thanks for answering.
We can't all fancy everyone that messages us  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is it an issue? Aren't we all adults? I don't see why it's a problem. Just say sorry they're not your type.
Some people get offended for the fun of it.
I'm immature and still learning all about how to handle people. Got poor social skills as well with people idk."
hey it's once again life though the reality is most pic their partner based on looks or a look that they find attractive and that varies so much from one woman to another ,the best way harsh as it is is to block and give the guys/women you may be attracted to more chance |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People should show or send face pics with the first message rather than set themselves up for a fall later. Saves time and awkwardness for all concerned. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe its because I've had a long day and I'm tired but I'm quite amazed and aghast at some of the comments here. People complain about the fact that there are no nice people but then when a nice guy is messaging you you block him because he has the temerity to not be your type? Please can people behave as adults and speak frankly but with respect to each other?
I've been on the receiving end of both approaches and I'd much rather be told that someone isn't attracted to me and I move on than they simply disappear. |
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