FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > new to this.
new to this.
Jump to: Newest in thread
Hey there people i am new to all of this and been to a social last week but still i am looking to meet girls within the london area as dont drive yet.
I can accommodate or travel within london.
I have a lot of things i wanna try.
Loves
big boobs.
FF fun.
more than 2 girls.
an MF (be my first)
Either drop me a message or reply in here |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What is that ment to mean. "
Have a look around, you'll see there's shit loads of "good looking" single guys about! But regardless it's not all about looks with a majority of people on here, it's more personality! Your posts carry a hint of attitude therefore give an impression of your personality in a negative light!
Be patient and polite and see where that gets you  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Yeah but its frustrating that i aint that bad looking. I would understand if i was fucking ugly "
Confidence/Arrogance us a fine line to walk. Its not for you to decide how "bad looking" you are, beauty is in the eye of the beholder |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Being 'good looking' is only the tip of the fab iceberg when it comes to men. Women and couples have many more selection criteria than simple eye candy value.
Read your profile from a womans perspective and as yourself 'would I meet me' based on what you read.
You've got to convey your personality here, what are you like as a person, what are you offering a woman that other men aren't. Give them a reason to respond.
You've been verified at a social, get to more of them. You'll show your true self much better in person than any form of online interaction so put your best efforts into both and you won't go far wrong.
Patience is the keyword here though. You won't get replies to all messages no matter how much you rant that you want them or think it's rude to not reply. Everyone has the choice not to respond and you should respect that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is there anything anyone can suggest to get meets x"
Go to clubs and maybe a few social events. Being a single fella your up against it on here already. Just be patient and keep chatting  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is there anything anyone can suggest to get meets x
Go to clubs and maybe a few social events. Being a single fella your up against it on here already. Just be patient and keep chatting "
This is all you need to know. Lower your expectations and get out and about. Clubs opened up so many opportunities and connected us with so much sexy |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Its just clubs aint exactly that cheap for a bloke. X"
Th price is irrelevant if you are hoping to meet people.
So you expecting free sex on here??
It is beginning to look like that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Its just clubs aint exactly that cheap for a bloke. X"
This is true but if they made the entrance fee cheap for single guys i very much doubt you would be able to move for lots n lots of hard ons!!
Maybe if you sacrificed the occasional night out with the lads and went to a club instead not only will you get yourself known as a genuinely nice fella, you would no doubt save a few quid and "maybe" and i stress "MAYBE" you will have a little fun
What have you got to lose??? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Its just clubs aint exactly that cheap for a bloke. X"
Then don't go so often and get known on the social scene which is hardly costly.
It won't come to you make some effort and reap the reward. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Its just clubs aint exactly that cheap for a bloke. X
So you don't just want a fuck, but you want a cheap fuck too? You are losing potential playmates by the minute!"
I would think nobody wants to pay through the nose....its fab, not a.w
Though I have to agree, its not gonna break the bank for the odd club night...
And I dunno, there's only a tiny tiny percentage of fab thay will ever read this thread so I don't think he's lost that many potential meets in the grand scheme...if he's like this in real life too then he's boned though  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Its just clubs aint exactly that cheap for a bloke. X
So you don't just want a fuck, but you want a cheap fuck too? You are losing potential playmates by the minute!"
Bit harsh, some men genuinely can not afford club prices |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Its just clubs aint exactly that cheap for a bloke. X
So you don't just want a fuck, but you want a cheap fuck too? You are losing potential playmates by the minute!
Bit harsh, some men genuinely can not afford club prices"
Understand that, but there are a few clubs around London and the cost wouldn't be much more than driving on hundred miles to a meet, or taking someone for a night out.
Maybe some of these guys ARE after a cheap fuck? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
"Its just clubs aint exactly that cheap for a bloke. X
So you don't just want a fuck, but you want a cheap fuck too? You are losing potential playmates by the minute!
Bit harsh, some men genuinely can not afford club prices"
Yes, but it is still just about the cheapest way for a single guy to get an nsa fuck and build up a circle of willing nsa partners.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Its just clubs aint exactly that cheap for a bloke. X
So you don't just want a fuck, but you want a cheap fuck too? You are losing potential playmates by the minute!
Bit harsh, some men genuinely can not afford club prices
Yes, but it is still just about the cheapest way for a single guy to get an nsa fuck and build up a circle of willing nsa partners.
"
Exactly the point trying to be made.
Or do they think a few lines on here will get them it for free immediately upon joining? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Its just clubs aint exactly that cheap for a bloke. X
So you don't just want a fuck, but you want a cheap fuck too? You are losing potential playmates by the minute!
Bit harsh, some men genuinely can not afford club prices
Understand that, but there are a few clubs around London and the cost wouldn't be much more than driving on hundred miles to a meet, or taking someone for a night out.
Maybe some of these guys ARE after a cheap fuck?"
Maybe its just me I don't know but I don't see anything wrong with not wanting to spend loads on getting sex, I wouldn't pay what guys pay to get into clubs lucky for me most clubs for woman are free or very little entry fee, if I book a hotel I tend to not book expensive ones and I dont travel far as I refuse to pay loads on trains, all because people do not want to pay loads on getting sex that does not make them any less respectful or less of a swinger than you, there maybe some cheap clubs in London but not everyone lives near London and here in the midland there are no clubs that are cheap for men, they are all around £40 a night and most will cost you over £100 for your first visit (membership included), some simply have not got that spare so have to meet within their means |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
First off its a swingers site not a dating site.
Everybody is looking for fun on here.
And just for those nasty messages i ain't gonna fuck anything that moves i have more respect for myself and women in general.
Clubs aint cheap min £35 max 60-70.
Its not fair that we have to pay that much and women get in free or at most pay £10.
And aint we all on here for fun with single's/couples not dating (got pof for that) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Being 'good looking' is only the tip of the fab iceberg when it comes to men. Women and couples have many more selection criteria than simple eye candy value.
Read your profile from a womans perspective and as yourself 'would I meet me' based on what you read.
You've got to convey your personality here, what are you like as a person, what are you offering a woman that other men aren't. Give them a reason to respond.
You've been verified at a social, get to more of them. You'll show your true self much better in person than any form of online interaction so put your best efforts into both and you won't go far wrong.
Patience is the keyword here though. You won't get replies to all messages no matter how much you rant that you want them or think it's rude to not reply. Everyone has the choice not to respond and you should respect that. "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
To be fair OP you haven't taken anything on board what other members have said your profile is poor compared to most successful males on here..ps if you not getting what you want from this site maybe go on pof  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"First off its a swingers site not a dating site.
Everybody is looking for fun on here.
And just for those nasty messages i ain't gonna fuck anything that moves i have more respect for myself and women in general.
Clubs aint cheap min £35 max 60-70.
Its not fair that we have to pay that much and women get in free or at most pay £10.
And aint we all on here for fun with single's/couples not dating (got pof for that)"
Well I think any couple or single female will read this forum and think , thank fuck we gave him a wide birth , people wont message you , if you don't take the tie to read there profile fully and correctly , they wont message you as to many guys see a simple no thanks as either fuck off or no please bombard us with endless shit . .Spend some time at some socials , go on the chat rooms and take a chill pill |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Maybe if someone would actually help instead of just slagging me off cause i want to have fun and not pay loads for it.
i am on this site to fulfill my fantasies and have some fun.
I am on pof looking for a relationship.
I know the difference between the two |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"First off its a swingers site not a dating site.
Everybody is looking for fun on here.
And just for those nasty messages i ain't gonna fuck anything that moves i have more respect for myself and women in general.
Clubs aint cheap min £35 max 60-70.
Its not fair that we have to pay that much and women get in free or at most pay £10.
And aint we all on here for fun with single's/couples not dating (got pof for that)"
We are all on here for fun your correct. Problem is there is so much choice the ones with the good profiles and decent pics get that fun more than someone who puts in minimum effort.
I go to a car shop to buy a car. The shop with the best deals and best looking car gets my business. Apply that on here and you may do well. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It could cost you a damn sight more if you took a woman out for dinner and drinks maybe even a hotel.
All this moaning will not put you in good light.
Put your hand in your pocket and go to a club like most of the single blokes on here do.
Her |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
OP, I would suggest you might consider a complete rewrite of your profile.
I don't think it's currently doing much for you.
Look for example at the spelling, grammar and sentence construction. Use the correct words - for example 'woman in top'. Did you even read it through before clicking 'save'?
Lose the last bit about wanting people to message you to let you know if they're not interested. Two reasons for this, first, it's not going to happen and secondly, just consider that you have put this on your profile - not in a message. The way it reads, it looks like you want those that look at your profile to send you a message just to let you know they're not interested - rather than in response to a message from you.
Here's the problem. Single guys outnumber the ladies by about 300 to 1, and on average, they get around 100 messages PER DAY!!! They don't have time to reply to all of those, let alone go browsing male profiles and messaging the ones they're not interested in.
Nobody likes being ignored. A number of users have suggested why you might not quite be getting the response / interest you might like. Rather than take such comments as constructive criticism, you have reacted badly - which is what has led others to make comments about your attitude.
It therefore becomes apparent that no matter what 'advice' anyone might give to you, you are likely to ignore it, and then we might see another similar such thread posted by you in around a weeks time.
As many have said before, either change your approach or change your expectations.
Just give it some thought. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
"Maybe if someone would actually help instead of just slagging me off cause i want to have fun and not pay loads for it.
i am on this site to fulfill my fantasies and have some fun.
I am on pof looking for a relationship.
I know the difference between the two "
The people who are "slagging you off" are the just the sort of people you want fun with. This surely is an indication that you have the wrong attitude - instead of winning them over you are turning them off. Fun is a two way thing and at the moment you don't sound to be much fun. Chill and take a closer look at yourself. Many of us have plenty of experience have given you some guidance based on that experience. It's up to you whether you accept it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"OP, I would suggest you might consider a complete rewrite of your profile.
I don't think it's currently doing much for you.
Look for example at the spelling, grammar and sentence construction. Use the correct words - for example 'woman in top'. Did you even read it through before clicking 'save'?
Lose the last bit about wanting people to message you to let you know if they're not interested. Two reasons for this, first, it's not going to happen and secondly, just consider that you have put this on your profile - not in a message. The way it reads, it looks like you want those that look at your profile to send you a message just to let you know they're not interested - rather than in response to a message from you.
Here's the problem. Single guys outnumber the ladies by about 300 to 1, and on average, they get around 100 messages PER DAY!!! They don't have time to reply to all of those, let alone go browsing male profiles and messaging the ones they're not interested in.
Nobody likes being ignored. A number of users have suggested why you might not quite be getting the response / interest you might like. Rather than take such comments as constructive criticism, you have reacted badly - which is what has led others to make comments about your attitude.
It therefore becomes apparent that no matter what 'advice' anyone might give to you, you are likely to ignore it, and then we might see another similar such thread posted by you in around a weeks time.
As many have said before, either change your approach or change your expectations.
Just give it some thought."
wasn't yu me engerlish teacher? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That was suggested quite a way back in the thread and it remained the same. You've had the same suggestions on other threads too and nothing's been done.
You've gotta help yourself, nobody can do it for you. All the tips, help, suggestions in the world won't help unless you're prepared to put the effort in and use the tools the site gives you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"First off its a swingers site not a dating site.
Everybody is looking for fun on here.
And just for those nasty messages i ain't gonna fuck anything that moves i have more respect for myself and women in general.
Clubs aint cheap min £35 max 60-70.
Its not fair that we have to pay that much and women get in free or at most pay £10.
And aint we all on here for fun with single's/couples not dating (got pof for that)
Well I think any couple or single female will read this forum and think , thank fuck we gave him a wide birth , people wont message you , if you don't take the tie to read there profile fully and correctly , they wont message you as to many guys see a simple no thanks as either fuck off or no please bombard us with endless shit . .Spend some time at some socials , go on the chat rooms and take a chill pill "
definitely thought that with this angsty thread. OP, can i collect your male tears? They're a refreshing and delicious drink you see. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
definitely thought that with this angsty thread. OP, can i collect your male tears? They're a refreshing and delicious drink you see. "
Better save me some as I've spilled my morning brew after reading that  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"That was suggested quite a way back in the thread and it remained the same. You've had the same suggestions on other threads too and nothing's been done.
You've gotta help yourself, nobody can do it for you. All the tips, help, suggestions in the world won't help unless you're prepared to put the effort in and use the tools the site gives you. "
He says he wants a chance, lots of people have tried to help him provide himself with a better chance on here yet he hasn't bothered taking any of the advice.
But he wants those same people to give him a chance.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Can I ask OP how much you'd spend on average on a vanilla night out to a pub/club with friends?
A"
Jesus on my last Vanilla night out I was short £200 after having a meal, paying entry into certain places, my drinks and taxi home. Even if I was a single guy give me a night out at a swingers club any day, much cheaper |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Excuse me i would never spend anywhere near that much on going out its a waste of money. "
OP. your profile is still all I, I, I.
And may we politely suggest you take a little time on your grammar and capital letters.
First impressions are important, and after this thread you have some catching up to do.
At least make your profile look the best you can, or have you already done that?? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Excuse me i would never spend anywhere near that much on going out its a waste of money. "
The reason I asked is that there are many, many club/social events that are either free (if in a vanilla setting) or very reasonably priced - you just have to look.
The opportunities to show the real you to people out in the big wide world are many.
Setting up a profile on a website means diddly squat - anyone can do it - and will largely result in frustration and disappointment.
Effort in = effort out. And there will be some expense involved.
Nothing in life comes for free.
A |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"And not being rude but its not being a tight arse i really dont have the money "
see..... what that means is not the fact that you can't go to clubs.... its just you can't go to clubs as much as you would like,
so do what a lot of us do on here.... budget!!!!
I would honestly ask the question that if you are 5 weeks in and complaining, then what your expectations were, because it sounds like they are way out of kilter with the reality of swinging.....
its a long slow process... and as others have said, being "good looking" in your eyes is not just enough... its a big jigsaw, and that involves writing, and that involves getting your personality across....
so here's a bit of advice from this "munter".... time, patience, basic common sense
actually go away, think about what you want to write... pen, pad, piece of paper, and then transfer it to here..... why should someone pick you as opposed to anyone else, how do you stand out (for the right reasons)
you are not owed anything for just being here, and to be honest swingers site are harder because people have a sense of what they want....
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"And not being rude but its not being a tight arse i really dont have the money "
The night I spent £200 was for an Hen Night i saved up for 6 months for that so i dont just have that kind of money to just throw about, but if you really wanted to go to clubs then as Fabio says budget and save for it youd probably secure your first meet quicker than just relying solely on websites |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Dear OP
I sympthasised with you on your original post not with your terminology but with what you were saying, however being on here doesn't entitle you to fulfil your fantasises etc or to get meets, FAB is one of many tools and your biggest asset is talking to people face to face not on here, fact is we have a fair few verifications bit barely any of them are directly fab to fab conversation then a meet, most are from meeting in a club.
All single guys get shot down on the forums it's part of the sexual power struggle x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
thanks _abio, anaughtytwosome and newcouplecambs.
i have rewrote profile. could you check if its ok.
i am saving to go back to paradise spa in Dagenham just nervous as the first time i went i met a few people before i went in |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
OP I consider myself an average looking man who's friendly and polite towards people on here.
My profile clearly states what I'm intersted in and the kind of people I'd like to meet with as well.
I don't go to clubs yet mainly due to work commitments and child care when I'm not working so just get meets from here.
I've had 4 meets in just over 2 years which I consider very respectable for the average man and maybe you should be looking at the same kind of numbers for yourself. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yeah but its frustrating that i aint that bad looking. I would understand if i was fucking ugly "
What don't you understand? Do you think that all the women on here are desperate providing the petson isn't ugly. Get real!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"did anyone read my new profile "
I didn't read your original one but looking now it doesnt grab me. For me you come across way to shy & whilst thats not a bad thing & can't be helped it doesn't make you attractive in my eyes.
Maybe re word and say you're new on the scene and remove the part about the club being ok.
re photos, you have 4 face pics how about a few body ones too?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"did anyone read my new profile "
The "I" down the sides of the page make it look stilted as if your stood in front of a class at school and reading something out.
It's not very natural. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
thanks for comments.
first of all i really dont like taking pics of myself
and sorry if the profile seems like i am telling people with the i's but i find it hard to put what i want to say.
but all i can say is that i have tired and if it dont work then then i have to accept it. i aint gonna make myself come across as something i am not.
i am a very honest person and not really good at talking about myself |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"thanks for comments.
first of all i really dont like taking pics of myself
and sorry if the profile seems like i am telling people with the i's but i find it hard to put what i want to say.
but all i can say is that i have tired and if it dont work then then i have to accept it. i aint gonna make myself come across as something i am not.
i am a very honest person and not really good at talking about myself "
Not knocking you chap. If your struggling take a peak at some of the more successful guys profiles and use them for inspiration although don't copy. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
