FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Have you ever tried fetish clubs?
Have you ever tried fetish clubs?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Have you ever tried fetish clubs/ The fetish scene.
It's all nailing someone to a cross and sacrificing your first born.
Well if you haven't firstly t#you have to define what YOUR fetish is , and to be honest swinging is a sort of fetish.
The clubs usually come in two flavours dance club and player clubs ( usually a bit of both if you've picked a good one )
It's really just a more creative way of doing what you're already doing. With all clubs insisting you make an effort.
The scene is a lot more friendly, and people don't EXPECT from you.
But a fetish can be whatever you make it. |
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Attended a couple of socials but to be honest too many of them were far too serious and put us off. Having said that the Fetish tent at Swingfields was a different story, great people who were happy to chat and explain things. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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If you like dressing up it's definitely something you should try. And before you say "I've got nothing in my wardrobe"... Everyone has something. Don't go out and spend 000's on a latex outfit, go in your most exotic bedroom stuff. Others do! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been once and just failed totally to understand what was going on. When we left we walked a bit away she looked at me and began to giggle and we collapsed.
Erotic? As far from as it gets.
"
This.  |
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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago
carrbrook stalybridge |
Regulars at the kage have a great day out of fun and fetish with our friends never seen anyone taking it over seriously .sounds like some have been going to clubs where it's Stand & Model not S&M full of posers and wannabes |
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By *adeuktvTV/TS
over a year ago
Cardiff |
The no sex thing is usually just for clubs as they dont all have the right licensing to be allowed sex on the premises. With those kinds of clubs my partners an i use the night for extended fourplay then carry on the fun once home
There are some great clubs and some rubbish ones, you just have to find the ones that are fun for you as they are all different. |
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"The no sex thing is usually just for clubs as they dont all have the right licensing to be allowed sex on the premises. With those kinds of clubs my partners an i use the night for extended fourplay then carry on the fun once home
There are some great clubs and some rubbish ones, you just have to find the ones that are fun for you as they are all different."
I understand that, but a lot of fet players are more into the posing than the swinging lol  |
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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago
carrbrook stalybridge |
In the northwest then get your arse to partners in bury for THE KAGE this Sunday afternoon for the best fetish club in the country . Sex alowed yes fun yes rules fetishwear and don't be cunt simple |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The no sex thing is usually just for clubs as they dont all have the right licensing to be allowed sex on the premises. With those kinds of clubs my partners an i use the night for extended fourplay then carry on the fun once home
There are some great clubs and some rubbish ones, you just have to find the ones that are fun for you as they are all different.
I understand that, but a lot of fet players are more into the posing than the swinging lol "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you like dressing up it's definitely something you should try. And before you say "I've got nothing in my wardrobe"... Everyone has something. Don't go out and spend 000's on a latex outfit, go in your most exotic bedroom stuff. Others do!"
What about men? |
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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago
carrbrook stalybridge |
"If you like dressing up it's definitely something you should try. And before you say "I've got nothing in my wardrobe"... Everyone has something. Don't go out and spend 000's on a latex outfit, go in your most exotic bedroom stuff. Others do!
What about men? "
smart dark suite tie and hat if going for dominant look .smart dark trousers mesh top for subbie look sorted  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
The clubs usually come in two flavours dance club and player clubs ( usually a bit "
We tend to go to ones where the music is as big a part of the night as the play they are definitely more fun. I suspect that a lot of people commenting on experience dull/serious nights have been to events that are more player orientated. But each to their own, I can see why people donlt like our prefered clubs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you like dressing up it's definitely something you should try. And before you say "I've got nothing in my wardrobe"... Everyone has something. Don't go out and spend 000's on a latex outfit, go in your most exotic bedroom stuff. Others do!
What about men? smart dark suite tie and hat if going for dominant look .smart dark trousers mesh top for subbie look sorted "
There are several clubs with a 'no street clothes' rule so they wouldn't allow your suggested dominant look as they don't class a suit as fetish wear.
crystal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you like dressing up it's definitely something you should try. And before you say "I've got nothing in my wardrobe"... Everyone has something. Don't go out and spend 000's on a latex outfit, go in your most exotic bedroom stuff. Others do!
What about men? smart dark suite tie and hat if going for dominant look .smart dark trousers mesh top for subbie look sorted
There are several clubs with a 'no street clothes' rule so they wouldn't allow your suggested dominant look as they don't class a suit as fetish wear.
crystal "
If that's the case, try clubs in the midlands instead. I've never known one that has refused any of my partners in suit trousers and a black shirt. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Attended a few socials and a few events. Found it dull and way too serious. Far too much posturing going on!"
My Domme took me to a fet night. Lots of posturing going on and people posing on the equipment.
We soon got ourselves a space. She tied me up and beat me properly. Drew quite a crowd. I was bruised for about three weeks |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Attended a few socials and a few events. Found it dull and way too serious. Far too much posturing going on!"
Sounds like you're all attending the wrong clubs! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"been to quite a few ...sometimes feel a bit too normal but its a good nite out ..usually friendly enough .not really into the extreme flogging and suspension stuff tho "
But it's not all about flogging. A fetish is what you make it, and it sounds like some of the rest of you have gone along EXPECTING. Make your own entertainment and the rest will follow. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Google "Torture Garden" Torturegarden.com and you'll get an idea of what the better clubs are like."
Torture Garden is a fantadtic night out but it's certainly not a great fet club. |
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By *jxxxxCouple
over a year ago
Leeds |
We've attended a few 'fetish' nights usually held in swingers clubs. They have ranged from '30 swingers and a guy stood in a gimp mask' to 'no sex and strictly fetish play'.
We've loved each experience but for different reasons. We love the swingers 'party vibe' but also love the freedom a fetish party gives us to play a different way without being looked at as the freakshow!
However, we can say that in the main allare attended by some of the most iinteresting people we've met and even if we don't play (in whatever kink we've decided that night) we have always had fun.
Go with zero expectations every time and just an positive outlook to meet brilliant people. You won't go far wrong.
xxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Google "Torture Garden" Torturegarden.com and you'll get an idea of what the better clubs are like.
Torture Garden is a fantadtic night out but it's certainly not a great fet club. "
I'd agree with this.
I wouldn't go to Torture Club if I wanted to play - only if I wanted to show off some new latex that I'd bought. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you like dressing up it's definitely something you should try. And before you say "I've got nothing in my wardrobe"... Everyone has something. Don't go out and spend 000's on a latex outfit, go in your most exotic bedroom stuff. Others do!
What about men? smart dark suite tie and hat if going for dominant look .smart dark trousers mesh top for subbie look sorted
There are several clubs with a 'no street clothes' rule so they wouldn't allow your suggested dominant look as they don't class a suit as fetish wear.
crystal
If that's the case, try clubs in the midlands instead. I've never known one that has refused any of my partners in suit trousers and a black shirt."
I have no problem with wearing fet wear. I was just highlighting the false suggestion that people already likely own a suitable outfit and my open particular pet hate that lingerie is acceptable for women while men have to make much more of an effort and likely more of an investment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have no problem with wearing fet wear. I was just highlighting the false suggestion that people already likely own a suitable outfit and my open particular pet hate that lingerie is acceptable for women while men have to make much more of an effort and likely more of an investment. "
I have never been turned away from a fetish club in a black dress, or black trousers and a black shirt. My partners have never been turned away in black trousers and a black shirt.
No real investment required. The only clubs I've ever been to that didn't have 'minimum all black' as a dresscode were specialist latex clubs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have no problem with wearing fet wear. I was just highlighting the false suggestion that people already likely own a suitable outfit and my open particular pet hate that lingerie is acceptable for women while men have to make much more of an effort and likely more of an investment.
I have never been turned away from a fetish club in a black dress, or black trousers and a black shirt. My partners have never been turned away in black trousers and a black shirt.
No real investment required. The only clubs I've ever been to that didn't have 'minimum all black' as a dresscode were specialist latex clubs."
In London Anti-Christ, Torture Garden, Decadance, Subversion, Club Rub and Imaginarium off the top of my head won't admit men in suits.
To be honest from a dress code point of view our favorite event is OandI which is at Eureaka's during the day time and we just go naked |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have no problem with wearing fet wear. I was just highlighting the false suggestion that people already likely own a suitable outfit and my open particular pet hate that lingerie is acceptable for women while men have to make much more of an effort and likely more of an investment.
I have never been turned away from a fetish club in a black dress, or black trousers and a black shirt. My partners have never been turned away in black trousers and a black shirt.
No real investment required. The only clubs I've ever been to that didn't have 'minimum all black' as a dresscode were specialist latex clubs.
In London Anti-Christ, Torture Garden, Decadance, Subversion, Club Rub and Imaginarium off the top of my head won't admit men in suits.
To be honest from a dress code point of view our favorite event is OandI which is at Eureaka's during the day time and we just go naked"
That's all new then. Because we've been to Antichrist, Subversion and Club Rub in aforementioned dress.
We don't go to fetish clubs to dress up, we go to play. |
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"Have you ever tried fetish clubs/ The fetish scene.
It's all nailing someone to a cross and sacrificing your first born.
Well if you haven't firstly t#you have to define what YOUR fetish is , and to be honest swinging is a sort of fetish.
The clubs usually come in two flavours dance club and player clubs ( usually a bit of both if you've picked a good one )
It's really just a more creative way of doing what you're already doing. With all clubs insisting you make an effort.
The scene is a lot more friendly, and people don't EXPECT from you.
But a fetish can be whatever you make it."
Lots and to be honest we found them completely the opposite of what you wrote.
The fetish crowd can be incredibly clique and judgmental (but then so can anyone). We experienced far far more cases of "touching without asking" then ever have at swing clubs, the alpha Dom complex of ohh I can touch anyone I like as I'm educating people, was frankly anoying.
Find a good mix night and your sorted though  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have been to a few in NYC with no expectations. I found it to be very cliquish, with half the men TRYING TO EDUCATE ME ABOUT FETISH LIFE/SEX. And the other half not talking at all. But I must say the people I did meet were polite and for the most part well educated. Btw if you do go to a fetish club or event . Please don't expect sex |
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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago
carrbrook stalybridge |
"If you like dressing up it's definitely something you should try. And before you say "I've got nothing in my wardrobe"... Everyone has something. Don't go out and spend 000's on a latex outfit, go in your most exotic bedroom stuff. Others do!
What about men? smart dark suite tie and hat if going for dominant look .smart dark trousers mesh top for subbie look sorted
There are several clubs with a 'no street clothes' rule so they wouldn't allow your suggested dominant look as they don't class a suit as fetish wear.
crystal
If that's the case, try clubs in the midlands instead. I've never known one that has refused any of my partners in suit trousers and a black shirt."
same here and I would hardly call a smart well cut three piece suit street wear |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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For me, half the problem I have with the swinging scene is that a lot of people have little or no imagination as to where they can take sex with a bit more thought! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find with fetish clubs, dressing up is all part of it. I'd hate to go in civvies. It would just feel odd. You don't have to spend loads of money to look good. A bit of creativity helps. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me, half the problem I have with the swinging scene is that a lot of people have little or no imagination as to where they can take sex with a bit more thought!"
What, by not actually having any?
This is exactly the kind of patronising attitude that makes us avoid the fet scene... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me, half the problem I have with the swinging scene is that a lot of people have little or no imagination as to where they can take sex with a bit more thought!"
What do you mean? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Not much imagination means exactly that. A lot means NOT ALL and I can only speak for the people I HAVE MET and SEEN. + It's a personal opinion just like you all have personal opinions on other subjects
Get over it!! 
There's a whole world of 'subjects' to discover in the erotic world but few choose to investigate them. There I go with my opinions again
Seriously though....even I think I don't like something I'll always have a look and investigate ....just in case. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Never, but going to my first one next week. Not really my scene but I won't knock it 'til I've tried it!"
AS the old saying goes:
"Don't knock it until you've tried it" and even if you don't like it always give it a second go. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I haven't been to a proper fetish club, i have been to the after party following the Birmingham bizarre bazaar. And enjoyed the bondage rooms at the townhouse and chameleons. I'm a fan of the Film 'preaching to the perverted ' and I want to make it to 'club lash' at some point in the future. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Our second visit ever to a club was on a fet night. Loved every minute.
Yeah some stuff seems a bit bizarre but it's always interesting. Needle play was a bit queasy though! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me, half the problem I have with the swinging scene is that a lot of people have little or no imagination as to where they can take sex with a bit more thought!
What, by not actually having any?
This is exactly the kind of patronising attitude that makes us avoid the fet scene..."
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
Okay, putting the squabbling to one side for a second, which are the good ones to go to then? We would like to try out a fetish club near us (Bristol) if there is one, as we definitely point in that direction, and it would be interesting to see how we get on.
Our only local club The Office has a fetish night, asked a question about it in the Clubs folder recently and it didn't get a single reply though, so don't know if anyone actually goes there! |
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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago
Cheshire |
"
Lots and to be honest we found them completely the opposite of what you wrote.
The fetish crowd can be incredibly clique and judgmental (but then so can anyone). We experienced far far more cases of "touching without asking" then ever have at swing clubs, the alpha Dom complex of ohh I can touch anyone I like as I'm educating people, was frankly anoying.
Find a good mix night and your sorted though "
I find cliques in both fet and swinging. But I have been to fet clubs and fet nights at swinging clubs and never once been touched. Yet it is standard for me at a swinging club to be touched at least once uninvited. And if it happens to be known im a sub and into BDSM, on a swingers night, countless times people think it's okay to walk past me, and just spank my arse randomly. Again, never happened at a fet night or fet club. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me, half the problem I have with the swinging scene is that a lot of people have little or no imagination as to where they can take sex with a bit more thought!
What, by not actually having any?
This is exactly the kind of patronising attitude that makes us avoid the fet scene...
"
The fet scene is the least imaginative thing I've ever been involved in. Personal opinion, of course. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"For me, half the problem I have with the swinging scene is that a lot of people have little or no imagination as to where they can take sex with a bit more thought!
What, by not actually having any?
This is exactly the kind of patronising attitude that makes us avoid the fet scene...
The fet scene is the least imaginative thing I've ever been involved in. Personal opinion, of course. "
Go and look at Torture gardens website. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Went to torture garden......it was an ok night....it did seem a lot like an alt catwalk show though.
I did play with a few people and saw a little play going on but for the most part it felt like a fashion event really.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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There's normally a queue of people trying to get into the couples room. That's for shy people, those that can't wait will fuck on the nearest couch!
Sometimes you just have to have a fuck quickly! stuff wait. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"For me, half the problem I have with the swinging scene is that a lot of people have little or no imagination as to where they can take sex with a bit more thought!
What, by not actually having any?
This is exactly the kind of patronising attitude that makes us avoid the fet scene...
The fet scene is the least imaginative thing I've ever been involved in. Personal opinion, of course.
Go and look at Torture gardens website."
That's half the idea. You make an effort and make it a night to remember. There's nothing special about going out in jeans. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Never tried any fetch or swinger scene would love to see what it's all about appreciate any help or advice "
Go and look around Torture Gardens website. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There's normally a queue of people trying to get into the couples room. That's for shy people, those that can't wait will fuck on the nearest couch!
Sometimes you just have to have a fuck quickly! stuff wait."
Yeah I saw....I was all over the place...but as I say, it seemed folk for the most part were fashionistas and too 'scene' for me......it's quite a specific.....very 'pigeonhole'
But again, it was an ok night (thankfully I like a bit of dubstep at times) and I'd go again some time maybe...just no too often, I like variety. |
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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago
carrbrook stalybridge |
"Went to torture garden......it was an ok night....it did seem a lot like an alt catwalk show though.
I did play with a few people and saw a little play going on but for the most part it felt like a fashion event really.
"
torture garden and to a certain extent club lash I think suffer a bit from the dance/fetish crossover leading to many just wanting to show of there latest outfit (which to some is a fetish) larding to accusations of it being more a stand & model than an S&M club . Re the no sex thing many of the venues don't allow or aren't sex clubs plus to many of the attendees S&M is not about sex so they don't require it .to them it's about being with like minded people and being able to express themselves and use equipment that they haven't got the money or space for at home .As for crossover events thay can be fun but we are wary as to many times they have degenerated into d*unken females misbehaving with other peoples equipment both dangerous and stupid to all around . As for unwanted attention touch either of us with out permission at a FET event and you will be on the receiving end of a two inch thick yard stick which tends to keep the over friendly at bay . For those wanting to try it give it a go if not have fun swinging |
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Seen a brilliant fisting show at a hardcore fetish club and also fire play and rope play performances and an interesting training session in knife play - don't fuck around with this scene as it's mind sex so make sure you know what you are doing. Birmingham and other alternative fairs and after parties are a great introduction. |
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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago
carrbrook stalybridge |
"Seen a brilliant fisting show at a hardcore fetish club and also fire play and rope play performances and an interesting training session in knife play - don't fuck around with this scene as it's mind sex so make sure you know what you are doing. Birmingham and other alternative fairs and after parties are a great introduction."
ah knife play one of the best everind fucks going one blindfold one credit card one glass of water victims head well and trueley gone he he
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think just going to a fetish club to see may not be a rewarding experence as fetish is a broad church. It would be like saying to someone to surprise you by cooking a meal but then not liking it. It helps if you know what kind of fetish you like and go to that type of club. Sometimes nothing is as boring as someone else's fetish.
Being open to the idea of fetish is not the same as having it as part of your lifestyle. The people who are deep into may not want to be oggled or interrupted mid scene by people who do not know the etiquette. I have done both by mistake. But then some perform fetish as theatre that can be interesting and are happy to take questions from people genuinely interested, but never presume. A bit like a swing club you dont just walk up and interrupt, particularly if two people are building a connection. It is best to read up on etiquette as there is etiquette in the swing world.
The difference between fetish and swing is that a lot of it about the relationship between the parties and a club is somewhere where there may be better equipment to express that relationship. Also given the type of play it could be dangerous to play with a random stranger. That being said fetish play can be a warm up for vanilla play but like any event sex is no guaranteed. Particularly as a fetish club is about expressing the fetish.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"From the reaction i get when i offer to tie at a swingers club Id say there are a lot more interested in fetish than go to specialist clubs"
Same with us when we take floggers/paddles. And our rope pictures on here get loads of attention (shame I'm not the rigget!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me, half the problem I have with the swinging scene is that a lot of people have little or no imagination as to where they can take sex with a bit more thought!
What, by not actually having any?
This is exactly the kind of patronising attitude that makes us avoid the fet scene...
"
Sadly it's a common attitude but we (and many others) shun people thst display it. We get people belittling us for openly being involved in swinging while they themselves are non-monogamous and have multiple partners. we absolutely detest elitism and snobbery and there is an (albeit small) element of the fet scene where it is rife |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Fetishes come in all sorts of flavours but I used to know a guy whose fetish was to dress up in a batman outfit and run around a forest with a stiffy while being filmed!!!
I've seen people turn up to fetish gigs as traffic wardens. Yep, the full outfit. Like people want to be fucked over by a traffic warden again!!!!
I've seen people go in full SS Nazi uniforms.
People turn up in 'Just their boots'
A bloke turn up with his own tin bath. The idea being you piss on him in the bath.
I've had my own friends turn up in full diving dry suit. Pissing in a urinal is out of the question , but he sloshed around well for the rest of the night
But that's 'their' thing, and one golden rule in the fet scene is not to laugh at other people fetishes; they may not be your cup of tea, but you mustn't laugh..........But sometimes you can't help it!!
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One person came to a New Years fetish party in a massive rubber suite with a large head - stood about 7 foot talk. He was a great bloke - the party was held in a swingers club so had a mix going on. My partner is more into controlled fetish play and I am more into swinging - great when you can do both 
I want to get a leather kilt and got a brilliant long leather coat at a fetish fair for a really good price as well as a few items - fitting while wait clothes for the slut. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fetishes come in all sorts of flavours but I used to know a guy whose fetish was to dress up in a batman outfit and run around a forest with a stiffy while being filmed!!!
I've seen people turn up to fetish gigs as traffic wardens. Yep, the full outfit. Like people want to be fucked over by a traffic warden again!!!!
I've seen people go in full SS Nazi uniforms.
People turn up in 'Just their boots'
A bloke turn up with his own tin bath. The idea being you piss on him in the bath.
I've had my own friends turn up in full diving dry suit. Pissing in a urinal is out of the question , but he sloshed around well for the rest of the night
But that's 'their' thing, and one golden rule in the fet scene is not to laugh at other people fetishes; they may not be your cup of tea, but you mustn't laugh..........But sometimes you can't help it!!
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I love people like that though. Weird and wonderful. Nothing shocks me, I just think it's great that they get off on it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me, half the problem I have with the swinging scene is that a lot of people have little or no imagination as to where they can take sex with a bit more thought!
What, by not actually having any?
This is exactly the kind of patronising attitude that makes us avoid the fet scene...
Sadly it's a common attitude but we (and many others) shun people thst display it. We get people belittling us for openly being involved in swinging while they themselves are non-monogamous and have multiple partners. we absolutely detest elitism and snobbery and there is an (albeit small) element of the fet scene where it is rife"
It's in all walks of life though to be fair. Fet people/ swingers/ 'vanilla' etc etc. *shrug* |
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