FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Its one or the other...but you cant be both!
Its one or the other...but you cant be both!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Are there many people on here that enjoy being dominant as well as submissive (obviously not at the same time)
The reason I ask is because recently I had a debate with a woman on here who didn't agree with switching, and said "that your either one or the other"
I think that's a bit weird...why should you have to limit yourself? Adventurous sex is like a journey...not a destination! so why not take the scenic route!
Any thoughts?  |
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i met someone at the recent cov social who was a switch - she had a dom and was very sub to him but she was also a dom and loved flogging the guys asses as we all played lol
i am crap at switching which is a shame cos i have a very lovely playmate who wants me to be a domme with him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't really like 'roles' too much but I love it when the control switches from one person to the other during a session, sometimes quite forcefully so. Such a turn on! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some people are just plain kinky (or inquisitive) and see all forms of play as something to be savoured. Other people are very uncomfortable being sub if they are dom, or dom if they are sub.
Each to their own really. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"to some it's an absolute life choice, it's not just sexual, it's 24/7...."
I think your right, I didn't realise that some people take the activity to define themselves sexually...each to their own I guess!  |
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By *ig badMan
over a year ago
Up North :-) |
"Are there many people on here that enjoy being dominant as well as submissive (obviously not at the same time)
The reason I ask is because recently I had a debate with a woman on here who didn't agree with switching, and said "that your either one or the other"
I think that's a bit weird...why should you have to limit yourself? Adventurous sex is like a journey...not a destination! so why not take the scenic route!
Any thoughts? "
Switches are never truly dom and you could argue they are never truly submissive. A truly dominant male tends to be that in every sense and wouldn't entertain taking the submissive roles.
Many true subs wouldn't be comfortable with a switch. not all but there are many who wouldn't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Switches are never truly dom and you could argue they are never truly submissive. A truly dominant male tends to be that in every sense and wouldn't entertain taking the submissive roles.
Many true subs wouldn't be comfortable with a switch. not all but there are many who wouldn't."
True enough. I'm more sub than I am Dom however in reality that makes me neither.
Actually, if I'm only Dom when someone else wants me to be then I really am sub haha. |
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By *ig badMan
over a year ago
Up North :-) |
"Switches are never truly dom and you could argue they are never truly submissive. A truly dominant male tends to be that in every sense and wouldn't entertain taking the submissive roles.
Many true subs wouldn't be comfortable with a switch. not all but there are many who wouldn't.
True enough. I'm more sub than I am Dom however in reality that makes me neither.
Actually, if I'm only Dom when someone else wants me to be then I really am sub haha."
As long as your comfortable with how you play then that's all that counts. I do know a few subs that will act dom for others because they know what subs like but it doesn't always do a lot for them. But hey again if they are thoughtful enough to make things fun for others then you have to give them credit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are there many people on here that enjoy being dominant as well as submissive (obviously not at the same time)
The reason I ask is because recently I had a debate with a woman on here who didn't agree with switching, and said "that your either one or the other"
I think that's a bit weird...why should you have to limit yourself? Adventurous sex is like a journey...not a destination! so why not take the scenic route!
Any thoughts?
Switches are never truly dom and you could argue they are never truly submissive. A truly dominant male tends to be that in every sense and wouldn't entertain taking the submissive roles.
Many true subs wouldn't be comfortable with a switch. not all but there are many who wouldn't."
I have a playmate who is only submissive with me. If he cums or extreme pain takes him out of his submissiveness. In three years it's happened only once. He's the only switch I play with.
I couldn't switch even if I wanted to: it wouldn't work for me: I can't contemplate even trying.
Some people see it as "role play" so have a "giggle" playing at it. I met a man once who asked when it would be his turn to "boss" me around. "After all" said he, "you can't be in charge all the time!"
That pretty much meant I'd never play with him: shame as he looked like Daniel Craig! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Switches are never truly dom and you could argue they are never truly submissive. A truly dominant male tends to be that in every sense and wouldn't entertain taking the submissive roles.
Many true subs wouldn't be comfortable with a switch. not all but there are many who wouldn't.
True enough. I'm more sub than I am Dom however in reality that makes me neither.
Actually, if I'm only Dom when someone else wants me to be then I really am sub haha.
As long as your comfortable with how you play then that's all that counts. I do know a few subs that will act dom for others because they know what subs like but it doesn't always do a lot for them. But hey again if they are thoughtful enough to make things fun for others then you have to give them credit."
That's exactly right. I don't get much out of being Dom. It's definately more about the other person when I do that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are there many people on here that enjoy being dominant as well as submissive (obviously not at the same time)
The reason I ask is because recently I had a debate with a woman on here who didn't agree with switching, and said "that your either one or the other"
I think that's a bit weird...why should you have to limit yourself? Adventurous sex is like a journey...not a destination! so why not take the scenic route!
Any thoughts? "
People who have no real deep emotions towards either direction will play each role and can be termed a switch because essentially they are acting or playing a role. Most Dom males would not and often could not play a submissive role because it isn't in their nature and the reverse is the same for a sub. It looks like the woman you were talking to was the real McCoy and not a dabbler. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"to some it's an absolute life choice, it's not just sexual, it's 24/7...."
yes, I agree on that and for some of us it is just part of playtime, different roles spice things up for us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are there many people on here that enjoy being dominant as well as submissive (obviously not at the same time)
The reason I ask is because recently I had a debate with a woman on here who didn't agree with switching, and said "that your either one or the other"
I think that's a bit weird...why should you have to limit yourself? Adventurous sex is like a journey...not a destination! so why not take the scenic route!
Any thoughts?
People who have no real deep emotions towards either direction will play each role and can be termed a switch because essentially they are acting or playing a role. Most Dom males would not and often could not play a submissive role because it isn't in their nature and the reverse is the same for a sub. It looks like the woman you were talking to was the real McCoy and not a dabbler."
dabble off, playtime is for fun! |
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I'm submissive sexually.
In my social and work life I am very dominant. I can stand up for myself, and have a very strong personality.
I can do Domme occasionally. Just not often, and it takes a certain sort of person for me to be Domme with. |
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I'm a full on person in my vanilla life. I like to be in charge most of the time, and when swinging with another couple I think I am the same - the fems generally are in charge anyway. When we meet a guy or guys though I am quite sub - am happy to have done to me rather than do, if that makes sends.
Now, does that make me switch? Or just someone who likes to play both sides of the field? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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quite honestly I think everyone is getting confused.
There is sub dom in the so-called "lifestlyle" S&M? which are about direction and compliance.
There is a softer sensual tendency to be assertive or yielding in most sexual situations but there are also those of us who like to share on a more-or-less equal basis and can enjoy doing and being done or doing each other equally so if you get my drift.
We don't have to be put in boxes, we are not toys. |
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