FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Meet today.
Meet today.
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By *ercedes62 OP Woman
over a year ago
Northampton |
I dont venture to post a thread very often but one for ladies.
You have a meet arranged for 8.00pm this evening as a social and you happen to look at the persons profile to see that they have a "meet today" sign up.
Now is this just me over re-acting?
Answers on a postcard please.
Mercedes x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont venture to post a thread very often but one for ladies.
You have a meet arranged for 8.00pm this evening as a social and you happen to look at the persons profile to see that they have a "meet today" sign up.
Now is this just me over re-acting?
Well i wouldnt Know where to start as cant get a meet.But i gotta say if i did i would put all my efforts into it and not look else where.
Answers on a postcard please.
Mercedes x"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That actually happened to us a while back. Was supposed to be a proper play meet and noticed that the guy had a meet today on his profile. So rang him to ask if our meet that evening was still on and he moaned that he was still at work and really tired, but if we fancied a quickie that would be fine!! Needless to say we didn't bother and he is now on our block list. His loss not ours I think  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont venture to post a thread very often but one for ladies.
You have a meet arranged for 8.00pm this evening as a social and you happen to look at the persons profile to see that they have a "meet today" sign up.
Now is this just me over re-acting?
Answers on a postcard please.
Mercedes x"
I'd message them and ask, maybe an overview on their part you never know  |
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By *ercedes62 OP Woman
over a year ago
Northampton |
"Not very pleased to be honest.
Mercedes x
Is that 'not very pleased' but will wait and see if he gets in touch.... or 'not very pleased' so slashed his tyres and set fire to his cat?"
As in his loss 
Mercedes x |
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"I dont venture to post a thread very often but one for ladies.
You have a meet arranged for 8.00pm this evening as a social and you happen to look at the persons profile to see that they have a "meet today" sign up.
Now is this just me over re-acting?
Answers on a postcard please.
Mercedes x"
Perhaps he's hoping things with you will go so well that he'll be able to take you along to his 'meet today' as a couple?
Sounds like a chancer, or at the very least either inconsiderate or dim. Fellas can be like that! Sometimes all three at once |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well something I heard from someone else she said I had a meet arranged and a few hours later he called me to cancel the next day she looked on his profile and he'd had a meet verifications showed it he dropper her for something better not saying this is the case but be careful sweets |
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To be fair.... some people have a 'meet today' up every day regardless of if they are actually looking... just to help get them noticed by more people.
He could be looking for a quickie before or after meeting you.... so no harm in that.
He could be a twat looking for the quick fix and will drop a social meet for a defo shag at the drop of a hat.
He could have just changed his mind about meeting you.
He could have no intention of meeting you or anyone else.
Roll a dice, toss a coin or try asking him. |
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"*types in a high pitch voice*
I'm a lady...
Maybe he put that up a while back and has just forgotten to take it down now.
I'd PM him and make a joke of it and see what happens. "
The longest you can have one up without refreshing it is 12 hours - if it's a 'meet today' |
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"If anyone sent me a message saying "well it's your loss" it would confirm to me it wasn't.
How do you know it's not his loss?"
How does anyone other than him know if it is. I doubt he sees it as his loss and being told it is his loss may ...... well as I said if it was said to me it would confirm it wasn't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If anyone sent me a message saying "well it's your loss" it would confirm to me it wasn't.
How do you know it's not his loss?
Well you should know
Check your mailbox.
Mercedesx"
Wow it was his loss silly silly man your gorgeous |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If anyone sent me a message saying "well it's your loss" it would confirm to me it wasn't."
Likewise!!! 
I don't get the "their loss" thing at all. How can it be "their loss" when they don't want you. Smacks of arrogance to me! |
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By *ercedes62 OP Woman
over a year ago
Northampton |
"Perhaps you should have just asked him instead of starting this thread? 
Oh hum...Your Swing Will Vary..."
I started this tread to ask the ladies opinions as this has never happened to me before!
Mercedesx |
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"Not very pleased to be honest.
Mercedes x
Is that 'not very pleased' but will wait and see if he gets in touch.... or 'not very pleased' so slashed his tyres and set fire to his cat?"
Polo, please confirm it's a typo and you meant set fire to his car  |
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"Not very pleased to be honest.
Mercedes x
Is that 'not very pleased' but will wait and see if he gets in touch.... or 'not very pleased' so slashed his tyres and set fire to his cat?
Polo, please confirm it's a typo and you meant set fire to his car "
No I meant cat... woman scorned and all that. |
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"Not very pleased to be honest.
Mercedes x
Is that 'not very pleased' but will wait and see if he gets in touch.... or 'not very pleased' so slashed his tyres and set fire to his cat?
Polo, please confirm it's a typo and you meant set fire to his car
No I meant cat... woman scorned and all that."
OK - just checking 
Not that keen on cats myself... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not very pleased to be honest.
Mercedes x
Is that 'not very pleased' but will wait and see if he gets in touch.... or 'not very pleased' so slashed his tyres and set fire to his cat?"
aw his cat's done nowt wrong! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Perhaps you should have just asked him instead of starting this thread?
Oh hum...Your Swing Will Vary...
I started this tread to ask the ladies opinions as this has never happened to me before!
Mercedesx"
probs mail or text and say "still on for tonight? only noticed you have a meet today up?" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Meet today .
I use it to get noticed I try to stick my two penny worth in on the forums too for the same reason . I cant say it works ."
It could though. We sometimes go to meet today just to check out who is currently active. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can understand your thoughts.
Personally though I've only had this mentioned once in 12 years although only a member of Fab for about 3 of those years.
I received a message after a few etc etc saying if confirming they would remove their Meet Today - I replied I am confirming and did likewise as a matter of respect.
No more was said and we had a great time.
When I can meet today I may advertise it or I may just look through others.
Theres no right or wrong answer but respect and good manners cost nothing ???
Statuses can be mis-read too ..
Feel this may be well placed in a form of;
Etiquette
May be a thought for future reference.
Ps
A man meeting a single lady should really ensure they will feel at ease and safe as much as possible and presenting doubt prior to meeting is not doing so.
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"maybe Cat was a euphemism for another woman's pussy Barb?"
No, I meant cat. If I had known there would be confusion over cats, cars and pubic hair, I would have said dropped his pet goldfish in the paper shredder. |
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"maybe Cat was a euphemism for another woman's pussy Barb?
No, I meant cat. If I had known there would be confusion over cats, cars and pubic hair, I would have said dropped his pet goldfish in the paper shredder."
Damn. That's some imagination. How do you know he has a goldfish? And a shredder? |
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"maybe Cat was a euphemism for another woman's pussy Barb?
No, I meant cat. If I had known there would be confusion over cats, cars and pubic hair, I would have said dropped his pet goldfish in the paper shredder."
we must meet and swap notes 
lol |
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"maybe Cat was a euphemism for another woman's pussy Barb?
No, I meant cat. If I had known there would be confusion over cats, cars and pubic hair, I would have said dropped his pet goldfish in the paper shredder.
Damn. That's some imagination. How do you know he has a goldfish? And a shredder? "
Who do you think replied to his 'meet today'  |
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"maybe Cat was a euphemism for another woman's pussy Barb?
No, I meant cat. If I had known there would be confusion over cats, cars and pubic hair, I would have said dropped his pet goldfish in the paper shredder.
Damn. That's some imagination. How do you know he has a goldfish? And a shredder?
Who do you think replied to his 'meet today' "
Wow, you do ask a hell of a lot of questions for a meet.
To the OP - I would just ask him - he might simply have forgotten to remove it. I'm probably not cynical enough though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Meet today .
I use it to get noticed I try to stick my two penny worth in on the forums too for the same reason . I cant say it works .
It could though "
Could it ? How ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Wow, you do ask a hell of a lot of questions for a meet.
I like to be thorough… which also bodes well in the activities which follow."
Like if they have 10 fingers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's his loss Mercedes. Meeting a nice girl to check chemistry possibly leading to more v's chancing it for a quick fuck *shudders* - no contest. You were better off finding out before you wasted your time meeting him xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Let's hope the meet he get tonight is with some very hairy truckers taking it in turns to abuse his ass there was him thinking he was meeting a tall blond who sucks like a dyson xxxx |
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Why? What did this guy actually do?
Even 'if' he did put the meet today up with the intention of having a quick shag, is there some law somewhere which says you can't do anything before or after meeting someone for a drink.
I am starting to wonder who is really the lucky one in all this.
On the face of it, he's been checked up on, had a thread started about him having a meet today posted, been sent a childish "it's your loss" message like he should be grateful of an offer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Let's hope the meet he get tonight is with some very hairy truckers taking it in turns to abuse his ass there was him thinking he was meeting a tall blond who sucks like a dyson xxxx
Mercedes x"
As said before... his loss!! Oh hang on, he has gained more than he had bargained for lol!! His gain Mercedes.. sorry sweetie xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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He should be grateful if was his loss after I've finished with him to treat someone like that is not nice. At least be man enough and be honest with her instead of not. |
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"He should be grateful if was his loss after I've finished with him to treat someone like that is not nice. At least be man enough and be honest with her instead of not. "
After you've finished with him....
What are you going to do to him? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If that had been me and that meet had been arranged then I see he or she was looking for another meet then I'd be very cross how do you think it makes you feel, me I'd feel very upset and angry and yes i'd be wanting to get my own back. Instead the man in question is a wimp I'd prefer if he'd say to me sorry love had a better offer. Least the you know |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He should be grateful if was his loss after I've finished with him to treat someone like that is not nice. At least be man enough and be honest with her instead of not.
After you've finished with him....
What are you going to do to him?"
Not planned that far ahead but involves very very large dildos |
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"If that had been me and that meet had been arranged then I see he or she was looking for another meet then I'd be very cross how do you think it makes you feel, me I'd feel very upset and angry and yes i'd be wanting to get my own back. Instead the man in question is a wimp I'd prefer if he'd say to me sorry love had a better offer. Least the you know "
Are you just filling in the gaps to make a better story?
You have one side of a story and even seem to be cherry picking from that.
No one knows if had arranged anything else or if he was even genuinely attempting to arrange something else.
In the OP's own words "he played it as dont know what you mean"... he didn't say he was meeting someone else instead.
Lots of people post a 'meet today' just to gain a few more views of their profile and think nothing of it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think in the OPs defense the fact he'd arranged a meet with her but was adversing for a meet on the same day wasn't the done thing. Unless of course he can attend several meets a day and still get it up then he's superman |
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"I post meets too but if I've found a meet I delete my meetings post one meet is more than enough for me for a day x"
I've had two meets in a day plenty of times... especially when one is just a social meet.
And if that social meet started checking up on what I was doing before hand, started a thread, sent a message asking me if I was meeting someone else that day and then sent a message saying "it's your loss".... I'd be thinking thank fuck I didn't meet them.
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"I think in the OPs defense the fact he'd arranged a meet with her but was adversing for a meet on the same day wasn't the done thing. Unless of course he can attend several meets a day and still get it up then he's superman "
He had arranged a social meet at 8pm this evening. The thread was started well over 4 hours before that. We don't know when the 'meet today' went up.... it could have been up 10 minutes or 10 hours.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Silly bloke, he probably thought he was on a swingers site "
Swinging shouldn't involve arranging a meet and then carrying on trying to arrange another meet at the same time. Swing away as much as you want... but to try and "up your game" when someone has said yes.. let's meet! Possibly leaving them to arrange childcare or book hotel only for the meet to be cancelled because they "did up their game" is pretty low.
If Mercedes went through this and posted a thread tomorrow titled "ARGGGHH!! Got a meet cancelled last night after forking out £££s for babysitter/hotel only to find they have a new verification from playing last night"
....that bloke would have been crucified on here!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think in the OPs defense the fact he'd arranged a meet with her but was adversing for a meet on the same day wasn't the done thing. Unless of course he can attend several meets a day and still get it up then he's superman
He had arranged a social meet at 8pm this evening. The thread was started well over 4 hours before that. We don't know when the 'meet today' went up.... it could have been up 10 minutes or 10 hours.
"
He could have explained that earlier when Mercedes questioned him but he pretended to not know what she was talking about  |
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By *habsMan
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
"If anyone sent me a message saying "well it's your loss" it would confirm to me it wasn't.
Likewise!!!
I don't get the "their loss" thing at all. How can it be "their loss" when they don't want you. Smacks of arrogance to me!"
Especially if they contacted you first I tend to just reply "Oh, my poor soul - how will I live knowing I've missed out on such an awesome shag that stops wars and is the solution to world peace - I might as well give up now as my life will forever be empty!" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Silly bloke, he probably thought he was on a swingers site
Swinging shouldn't involve arranging a meet and then carrying on trying to arrange another meet at the same time. Swing away as much as you want... but to try and "up your game" when someone has said yes.. let's meet! Possibly leaving them to arrange childcare or book hotel only for the meet to be cancelled because they "did up their game" is pretty low.
If Mercedes went through this and posted a thread tomorrow titled "ARGGGHH!! Got a meet cancelled last night after forking out £££s for babysitter/hotel only to find they have a new verification from playing last night"
....that bloke would have been crucified on here!!!"
All if and buts, he won't be the first or the last person to have more than one meet in a day, it's a swingers site
Whats worse is he probably didn't even know he was on it, done it myself before accidentally while just being nosey in the meets and events |
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"Silly bloke, he probably thought he was on a swingers site
Swinging shouldn't involve arranging a meet and then carrying on trying to arrange another meet at the same time. Swing away as much as you want... but to try and "up your game" when someone has said yes.. let's meet! Possibly leaving them to arrange childcare or book hotel only for the meet to be cancelled because they "did up their game" is pretty low.
If Mercedes went through this and posted a thread tomorrow titled "ARGGGHH!! Got a meet cancelled last night after forking out £££s for babysitter/hotel only to find they have a new verification from playing last night"
....that bloke would have been crucified on here!!!"
And rightly so... because there would be a few hard facts to go on.
In this instance however, it's been a bunch of assumptions and a handful of guess work.
I don't blame to OP for cancelling if she wasn't sure, I would do the same.
But all this "it's his loss" bollox and stating pissing in the wind comments as being 'what happened'.
If the shoe was on the other foot and she had been sent the message after being checked up on, I bet there would still be a load of support for her.... "oh you are better off without some possessive stalker who can't take rejection" would be the likely statements.
But back to the facts.... she cancelled. He wasn't a no-show and none of us know if he would have shown up or not. |
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"I think in the OPs defense the fact he'd arranged a meet with her but was adversing for a meet on the same day wasn't the done thing. Unless of course he can attend several meets a day and still get it up then he's superman
He had arranged a social meet at 8pm this evening. The thread was started well over 4 hours before that. We don't know when the 'meet today' went up.... it could have been up 10 minutes or 10 hours.
He could have explained that earlier when Mercedes questioned him but he pretended to not know what she was talking about "
He could have... or he could have just thought saying that was better than saying "it's none of your fucking business what I do for the rest of the day" which would have been my reply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i dont do anything when i am meeting someone whether its a social or not, occasionally i may have my status as meeting someone just to put others off messaging me but most often i forget im meeting someone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think in the OPs defense the fact he'd arranged a meet with her but was adversing for a meet on the same day wasn't the done thing. Unless of course he can attend several meets a day and still get it up then he's superman
He had arranged a social meet at 8pm this evening. The thread was started well over 4 hours before that. We don't know when the 'meet today' went up.... it could have been up 10 minutes or 10 hours.
He could have explained that earlier when Mercedes questioned him but he pretended to not know what she was talking about
He could have... or he could have just thought saying that was better than saying "it's none of your fucking business what I do for the rest of the day" which would have been my reply."
The sort of guy that gets the single blokes on here a good name? Not convinced.
The sort of girl that gets the single women on here a good name? Not convinced.
Why be so rude? Politeness costs not a single penny... being down right rude costs a lot in the long run.... or does being nice lose the respect that is craved? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I post meets too but if I've found a meet I delete my meetings post one meet is more than enough for me for a day x
I've had two meets in a day plenty of times... especially when one is just a social meet.
And if that social meet started checking up on what I was doing before hand, started a thread, sent a message asking me if I was meeting someone else that day and then sent a message saying "it's your loss".... I'd be thinking thank fuck I didn't meet them.
"
There must be some serious mass blocking going on as some people are coming across as childish, waspish, arrogant harpies!
For the life of me I can't see what the poor bastard did other than have the audacity to not be focused 100% on the OP.
I've had two meets on one day: two social, I've also had a social meet at lunchtime and an all nighter with a regular playmate. If they'd checked up on me: no meet. I don't like or want pushy, possessive insecure people bothering me: this is NSA, some people need to remember that! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If anyone sent me a message saying "well it's your loss" it would confirm to me it wasn't.
Likewise!!!
I don't get the "their loss" thing at all. How can it be "their loss" when they don't want you. Smacks of arrogance to me!
Especially if they contacted you first I tend to just reply "Oh, my poor soul - how will I live knowing I've missed out on such an awesome shag that stops wars and is the solution to world peace - I might as well give up now as my life will forever be empty!" "
Did you say something?!!
I just paused at your avatar...again!
Sorry for temporary hijack, I get distracted! |
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So to sum up...
This guy has possibly done nothing wrong, hasn't shagged anyone else today, but has been given the "flounce" "your loss" post and been slagged off in a forum.
I know it's difficult for single guys but jeez - some of you have an over-active imagination |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I post meets too but if I've found a meet I delete my meetings post one meet is more than enough for me for a day x
I've had two meets in a day plenty of times... especially when one is just a social meet.
And if that social meet started checking up on what I was doing before hand, started a thread, sent a message asking me if I was meeting someone else that day and then sent a message saying "it's your loss".... I'd be thinking thank fuck I didn't meet them.
There must be some serious mass blocking going on as some people are coming across as childish, waspish, arrogant harpies!
For the life of me I can't see what the poor bastard did other than have the audacity to not be focused 100% on the OP.
I've had two meets on one day: two social, I've also had a social meet at lunchtime and an all nighter with a regular playmate. If they'd checked up on me: no meet. I don't like or want pushy, possessive insecure people bothering me: this is NSA, some people need to remember that! "
Not a problem with what you do/did... Wouldn't rule out one play and one social meet in one day.
Our spare time is precious as we both work full time... if some randy fecker said yes to a social meet and stuck one of those "meet today" banners up we would question it directly like Mercedes did. That guy went on to deny any knowledge of said banner (short term memory loss perhaps... doubt it as they only last a few hours ffs!!! ).
We would want to know if we were about to get blown out as we could have spent the allocated time avoiding sitting around waiting for a no show more effectively.... ie tending to "vanilla life"... we have one of those as does Mercedes and many others on this site. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No disrespect to the Op but i'm surprised just how much this guy has been pilloried. He's meeting a swinger from a swinging site not a girlfriend, surely all that he needed to do to fulfil what was expected of him on a social meet was to turn up, be a gent, arrange a future play date then leave. What he does before or after is his business.....or is anyone really suggesting it is not? |
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"Why? What did this guy actually do?
Even 'if' he did put the meet today up with the intention of having a quick shag, is there some law somewhere which says you can't do anything before or after meeting someone for a drink.
I am starting to wonder who is really the lucky one in all this.
On the face of it, he's been checked up on, had a thread started about him having a meet today posted, been sent a childish "it's your loss" message like he should be grateful of an offer."
Couldn't agree more. He's been hung drawn and quartered without a trial.
I noticed a lady on here who had sorted a meet on Wednesday but she still had a meet request up as well. Do you want her name so you can crucified her too?
Only one side of this has been presented. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No disrespect to the Op but i'm surprised just how much this guy has been pilloried. He's meeting a swinger from a swinging site not a girlfriend, surely all that he needed to do to fulfil what was expected of him on a social meet was to turn up, be a gent, arrange a future play date then leave. What he does before or after is his business.....or is anyone really suggesting it is not? "
That's exactly how I looked at it! I share my home with my adult daughter and her boyfriend, and a daughter away at uni who pops up every few weeks. I'm settling into a new job heading up the personal injury scheme in our legal department, helping to arrange my eldest daughter's wedding: very busy and my playtime is limited.
My social meets are during my lunch hour for a coffee/lunch depending on my schedule and play meets are either all night or during the day so I have met someone for coffee at lunchtime and played with someone else in the evening.
I well and truly don't see what the guy did wrong: as you said it's not his girlfriend. In three years I've not encountered a time waster, been let down or let anyone else down.
Perhaps I've been lucky in that the men I've met recognised we're meeting for nsa encounters and accept that.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm as confused as hell about this thread now. Whats meet today and where is it on my profile?? I must be missing something and i bet its as obvious as the zit on my nose
The only Meet Today I know is the one at the top of the page but I thought that was just for parties etc
Where oh where is this other meet today |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No disrespect to the Op but i'm surprised just how much this guy has been pilloried. He's meeting a swinger from a swinging site not a girlfriend, surely all that he needed to do to fulfil what was expected of him on a social meet was to turn up, be a gent, arrange a future play date then leave. What he does before or after is his business.....or is anyone really suggesting it is not? "
Again, he could have explained himself when Mercedes put the question to him. If he had said precisely this and assured her that he would be turning up for their social meet as arranged.... then she shouldn't/wouldn't have a problem what he does before or after meeting her.
I would question, as I have said before, if I noticed the "meet today" banner on a profile I had arranged a meet with. If reply was "ours is a social meet, I'm still going to see you... but I am gagging for a bit of action before/after". My/our reply "fair enough... just checking we aren't wasting an evening on a no show". This guy denied any knowledge of said meet today banner on HIS profile. I wonder if he his honest about everything else? |
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"
Again, he could have explained himself when Mercedes put the question to him. "
Just one point to add to this.... we don't know what question was put to him.
'If' it was "I see you are thinking of binning me off for someone else" then a reply of "I don't know what you mean" sounds a pretty normal reply.
All we know is the follow up reply was to tell him it was his loss.
With the gift of hindsight, should the original question now be disclosed it will likely be a completely rational one.... even though at the time it was sent be someone who had just asked if they were over re-acting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Again, he could have explained himself when Mercedes put the question to him.
Just one point to add to this.... we don't know what question was put to him.
'If' it was "I see you are thinking of binning me off for someone else" then a reply of "I don't know what you mean" sounds a pretty normal reply.
All we know is the follow up reply was to tell him it was his loss.
With the gift of hindsight, should the original question now be disclosed it will likely be a completely rational one.... even though at the time it was sent be someone who had just asked if they were over re-acting."
Only the OP knows how she re-acted. She should not feel that she should explain what happened and how she approached him to us.
However... "what the hell do you think your doing putting a "meet today" up? How dare you do this when are you are supposed to be meeting me?" or something along those lines IS an over reaction and I would suggest a swinging site is not for her.
If she had approached him sensibly ie "just noticed you have a meet today on your profile... are you still intending to meet me later?" is NOT an over-reaction at all.... I would hate to waste 2hrs (blame vanity) getting ready, travel, wait, realise I have a time wasting no show on my hands, travel home again.
The fact he denied it said a lot about him. We would have cancelled on the back of the fact he had the balls to lie... game over, trust lost.
Let her shrug it off with a "his loss" if she wishes, that's her way of dealing with it. I do it, so do many others. If that makes us immature/childish in the eyes of others, so be it.
I am probably wrong, but I think Mercedes found herself putting this thread up to find out the answer to this... "this is a swinging site, am I right in questioning his meet today banner?". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Again, he could have explained himself when Mercedes put the question to him.
Just one point to add to this.... we don't know what question was put to him.
'If' it was "I see you are thinking of binning me off for someone else" then a reply of "I don't know what you mean" sounds a pretty normal reply.
All we know is the follow up reply was to tell him it was his loss.
With the gift of hindsight, should the original question now be disclosed it will likely be a completely rational one.... even though at the time it was sent be someone who had just asked if they were over re-acting.
Only the OP knows how she re-acted. She should not feel that she should explain what happened and how she approached him to us.
However... "what the hell do you think your doing putting a "meet today" up? How dare you do this when are you are supposed to be meeting me?" or something along those lines IS an over reaction and I would suggest a swinging site is not for her.
If she had approached him sensibly ie "just noticed you have a meet today on your profile... are you still intending to meet me later?" is NOT an over-reaction at all.... I would hate to waste 2hrs (blame vanity) getting ready, travel, wait, realise I have a time wasting no show on my hands, travel home again.
The fact he denied it said a lot about him. We would have cancelled on the back of the fact he had the balls to lie... game over, trust lost.
Let her shrug it off with a "his loss" if she wishes, that's her way of dealing with it. I do it, so do many others. If that makes us immature/childish in the eyes of others, so be it.
I am probably wrong, but I think Mercedes found herself putting this thread up to find out the answer to this... "this is a swinging site, am I right in questioning his meet today banner?"."
I totally agree if you have a meet arranged then you would not have a meet today showing on your profile, I have in the past removed the symbol as soon as a meet is arranged. So get off this ladies back she did the right thing by confronting and questioning his intentions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm as confused as hell about this thread now. Whats meet today and where is it on my profile?? I must be missing something and i bet its as obvious as the zit on my nose
The only Meet Today I know is the one at the top of the page but I thought that was just for parties etc
Where oh where is this other meet today "
Awww bless! lol
The meet today at top of page is not just for parties. You can put one on your own page. Go check them out! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm as confused as hell about this thread now. Whats meet today and where is it on my profile?? I must be missing something and i bet its as obvious as the zit on my nose
The only Meet Today I know is the one at the top of the page but I thought that was just for parties etc
Where oh where is this other meet today "
click on "meets and events", then click on how many hours you want to be on the list for then click "add me to the list"!
you are then on the "meet today list" and a little icon of a calender shows on your profile. you can see whos on the meet today list by clicking on meets and events then clicking on the left hand side which category youre interested in.
this system was around before the events system was so im very surprised youve never noticed it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I totally agree if you have a meet arranged then you would not have a meet today showing on your profile, I have in the past removed the symbol as soon as a meet is arranged. So get off this ladies back she did the right thing by confronting and questioning his intentions."
i dont think anyone is on mercedes back?
this is a swinging site, im baffled as to why there is such as issue really. he might have forgotten to take it off, he might have wanted another meet. either way its acceptable IMO. |
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I'm not on anyone backs, but I do feel these types of questions are often too vague and lack detail to truly just turn round and say "yeah, he/she's a twat - block/report them!!"
They also tend to go only one way when its a single bloke under discussion.
* wanders off to polish chip he just found on his shoulder...* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would of liked to hear the guys side of it aswell, as its already been said some guys automatically put it on. Maybe he put it on incase she didnt turn up. Without the story from both its something we will never no |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All this thread is doing is showing just how easy some people can castigate someone without facts, its not as if the OP has been very clear, in fact everyone seems to be just assuming what he did and what she asked and how he answered, sorry but all I have seen so far that’s fact is that he was on the meet today, a clear hanging offence by all accounts |
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"
I totally agree if you have a meet arranged then you would not have a meet today showing on your profile..."
A few people in this thread have already said they have and would arrange two meets in one day. So I feel you are over stepping the mark in stating we wouldn't/shouldn't.
" So get off this ladies back she did the right thing by confronting and questioning his intentions."
Aside from the 'his loss' comment, I think you will find most of the opposing views related to other posters using guess work to fill in the blanks.... and there are an awful lot of blanks being filled in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If someone comes on here asking for help and advice I try my best,I will take the side of the OP the person who is asking. Unless its something daft.
Remember they came on the forums to ask advice not to be told when she said "well its your loss" to be told it was not.
I have since made friends with the OP and what I know and see it was HIS LOSS |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I totally agree if you have a meet arranged then you would not have a meet today showing on your profile...
A few people in this thread have already said they have and would arrange two meets in one day. So I feel you are over stepping the mark in stating we wouldn't/shouldn't.
So get off this ladies back she did the right thing by confronting and questioning his intentions.
Aside from the 'his loss' comment, I think you will find most of the opposing views related to other posters using guess work to fill in the blanks.... and there are an awful lot of blanks being filled in."
If I am not mistaken we all do guess work and blanks on these forums. The amount of posts I have seen from a newbie saying he can't get a meet etc to be told its cause your married,even though no where on his profile does it state that. Oh it says he can't accommodate so he must be married |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont venture to post a thread very often but one for ladies.
You have a meet arranged for 8.00pm this evening as a social and you happen to look at the persons profile to see that they have a "meet today" sign up.
Now is this just me over re-acting?
Answers on a postcard please.
Mercedes x"
I don't see the problem myself. I've had play meets during the day and social meets in the evening. I don't care what or who others do as long as they are there when they say they will be with me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Everyone does thing different on here,the OP,me,all of you. So ones way is right. But the OP did not like this because its not her way to do things and not mine either,if I had a meet arranged I would delete anything I had pending for that day because thats me |
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I guess it depends on when he posted the 'meet today' offer - I think they can be posted in advance, so it may now not be an option for him, that he's looking for others.
I tend to give the benefit of the doubt, tho I'd be wary if I knew more, to suggest that he wasn't definite about our meeting.
It's always wise to be cautious and keep our heads screwed on, so it's a perfectly reasonable scenario to get us to reflect on. Good luck!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Has it never crossed your mind that maybe, just maybe he actually didn’t know he was on it?
The reason I ask that is I’ve done it before and not known until someone pointed it out, god I’ve even sent myself messages when replying to messages in our outbox instead of our inbox |
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"No because I give my friend the benefit of the doubt and always will "
Give your friend the benefit of the doubt by all means.... but don't make things up about other people just to make your story sound better.... it will reflect on you more than your friend or the person you are trying to hang without factual reason. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How am I making things up about other people? I was given the facts from the OP I gave my opinion like you did. I certainly did not make anything up about anyone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Has it never crossed your mind that maybe, just maybe he actually didn’t know he was on it?
The reason I ask that is I’ve done it before and not known until someone pointed it out, god I’ve even sent myself messages when replying to messages in our outbox instead of our inbox "
Thats quiet easily done |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No because I give my friend the benefit of the doubt and always will
Give your friend the benefit of the doubt by all means.... but don't make things up about other people just to make your story sound better.... it will reflect on you more than your friend or the person you are trying to hang without factual reason."
So we don't believe word of mouth anymore we need to see hard evidence then? |
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"No because I give my friend the benefit of the doubt and always will
Give your friend the benefit of the doubt by all means.... but don't make things up about other people just to make your story sound better.... it will reflect on you more than your friend or the person you are trying to hang without factual reason.
So we don't believe word of mouth anymore we need to see hard evidence then? "
Even word of mouth can't see into the future.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Has it never crossed your mind that maybe, just maybe he actually didn’t know he was on it?
The reason I ask that is I’ve done it before and not known until someone pointed it out, god I’ve even sent myself messages when replying to messages in our outbox instead of our inbox
Thats quiet easily done "
Yes its easily done but why not admit that to her thats my point. He should have said well yes I have a social thingy with you but if it doesnt work out I am looking for a meet later. Thats not hard is it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No because I give my friend the benefit of the doubt and always will
Give your friend the benefit of the doubt by all means.... but don't make things up about other people just to make your story sound better.... it will reflect on you more than your friend or the person you are trying to hang without factual reason.
So we don't believe word of mouth anymore we need to see hard evidence then?
Even word of mouth can't see into the future.
"
Well if does one day I will share all the lotto numbers with you all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone comes on here asking for help and advice I try my best,I will take the side of the OP the person who is asking. Unless its something daft.
Remember they came on the forums to ask advice not to be told when she said "well its your loss" to be told it was not.
I have since made friends with the OP and what I know and see it was HIS LOSS "
You'll always take the OP's side? And if someone doesn't want you it's their loss?!! Okie doke! Whatever! |
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"If someone comes on here asking for help and advice I try my best,I will take the side of the OP the person who is asking. "
One day someone may just start a thread about not liking something you did.... should we all take the side of the OP just because they got their side in first and accept the word of their mouth as fact... and add a bit extra in to support them may be?
Or will your views change under those circumstances? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When I first joined I was quite BLATANTLY explained this is a site for NSA fun , so that is how I treat it.
Seems its not really the case "
You're ok, some of us get it, we don't interrogate prospective meets, check their profiles, stalk them online and send snooty messages, so your bunny's safe! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh I get it and I'm on here for nothing more than FUN and I wouldn't post anything about a meet on here I might slag a few people off but who I meet is my business and if he/she doesn't turn up or turns out to be not what I expected then that's my worry no one elses |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I never stalk anyone not my style if I like someone I tell them if they say bollocks not for me I go on my merry way something alot on here don't understand especially when you read the same thread over and over again regarding messages |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Has it never crossed your mind that maybe, just maybe he actually didn’t know he was on it?
The reason I ask that is I’ve done it before and not known until someone pointed it out, god I’ve even sent myself messages when replying to messages in our outbox instead of our inbox
Thats quiet easily done
Yes its easily done but why not admit that to her thats my point. He should have said well yes I have a social thingy with you but if it doesnt work out I am looking for a meet later. Thats not hard is it? "
BINGO!!! There you have it.
We all spout about honesty and respect... Most of us mention it on our profiles. He could have explained the misunderstanding (looking for two meets today or ooops, my mistake I'll remove it now) and she could have said "ok fair enough see you later" but he denied all knowledge of his meet today banner.... she was left feeling unsure and did the right thing by cancelling.
She told us her side of the story wanting to share her experience with us and for us to give our opinion on how we would have reacted. We are all different, our opinions are going to be different.
....is this the first thread where difference of opinion has been aired? No.
....is this the first thread where the OP has been "picked at"?
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"Has it never crossed your mind that maybe, just maybe he actually didn’t know he was on it?
.
.
.
.
BINGO!!! There you have it.
"
Bingo indeed... it's hard to admit to something if you don't know you have done it.
Whether he knew or not... we'll never know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Has it never crossed your mind that maybe, just maybe he actually didn’t know he was on it?
The reason I ask that is I’ve done it before and not known until someone pointed it out, god I’ve even sent myself messages when replying to messages in our outbox instead of our inbox
Thats quiet easily done
Yes its easily done but why not admit that to her thats my point. He should have said well yes I have a social thingy with you but if it doesnt work out I am looking for a meet later. Thats not hard is it?
BINGO!!! There you have it.
We all spout about honesty and respect... Most of us mention it on our profiles. He could have explained the misunderstanding (looking for two meets today or ooops, my mistake I'll remove it now) and she could have said "ok fair enough see you later" but he denied all knowledge of his meet today banner.... she was left feeling unsure and did the right thing by cancelling.
She told us her side of the story wanting to share her experience with us and for us to give our opinion on how we would have reacted. We are all different, our opinions are going to be different.
....is this the first thread where difference of opinion has been aired? No.
....is this the first thread where the OP has been "picked at"?
"
Agrees with the above position.
We are all just a little wary when arranging meets, my god the times arrangements made have ended in disaster due to being 'let down' creates the concern being demonstrated here.
For me pleading ignorance towards a Meet Today post just doesn't cut it, especially when it is so simple to see that you have the icon listed on your profile.
Anybody that would then continue with any arrangements would IMO get exactly what they deserve, should things end badly.
BTW I also see the 'your loss' remark as a throwaway comment signifying, an end to arrangements. Those that want to see this phrase as some nasty uncalled for jibe really needs to get a grip, far worse things have been said
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"
For me pleading ignorance towards a Meet Today post just doesn't cut it, especially when it is so simple to see that you have the icon listed on your profile."
Assuming you are logged in to your profile when you are being asked about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Has it never crossed your mind that maybe, just maybe he actually didn’t know he was on it?
The reason I ask that is I’ve done it before and not known until someone pointed it out, god I’ve even sent myself messages when replying to messages in our outbox instead of our inbox
Thats quiet easily done
Yes its easily done but why not admit that to her thats my point. He should have said well yes I have a social thingy with you but if it doesnt work out I am looking for a meet later. Thats not hard is it?
BINGO!!! There you have it.
We all spout about honesty and respect... Most of us mention it on our profiles. He could have explained the misunderstanding (looking for two meets today or ooops, my mistake I'll remove it now) and she could have said "ok fair enough see you later" but he denied all knowledge of his meet today banner.... she was left feeling unsure and did the right thing by cancelling.
She told us her side of the story wanting to share her experience with us and for us to give our opinion on how we would have reacted. We are all different, our opinions are going to be different.
....is this the first thread where difference of opinion has been aired? No.
....is this the first thread where the OP has been "picked at"?
"
Well you have obviously been told more than has been said on here, the OP has hardly said anything on this thread, apart from he was on the meet today and when asked about it he said he didn’t know what she meant, now supposing he did go on it accidentally, how can he explain that when he didn’t know when asked? And bearing in mind after his reply saying as much, he was sent a message telling him the meet was off and it was his loss or something along those lines, so how could he explain? Sounds like he wasn’t even given the chance to explain.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am putting up my 'meet today' status , if thats ok with the rest of you
Maybe I will get noticed lol"
Yes it is sweets just don't arrange any other meets |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
For me pleading ignorance towards a Meet Today post just doesn't cut it, especially when it is so simple to see that you have the icon listed on your profile.
Assuming you are logged in to your profile when you are being asked about it."
Assuming he has hidden his profile from non-registered users in the privacy settings.
Is there anything within this post that you will not doubt |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
For me pleading ignorance towards a Meet Today post just doesn't cut it, especially when it is so simple to see that you have the icon listed on your profile.
Assuming you are logged in to your profile when you are being asked about it.
Assuming he has hidden his profile from non-registered users in the privacy settings.
Is there anything within this post that you will not doubt "
Why would he need to hide his profile? people use phones to log on here, for all we know the message could have been via text or via msn/email, you're just assuming it was all done here, pretty much what we're all doing as the OP hasn't said any of it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am putting up my 'meet today' status , if thats ok with the rest of you
Maybe I will get noticed lol
Yes it is sweets just don't arrange any other meets "
x |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
no offence to anyone... but i know exactly what I'd be thinking if I was the gent in question now after reading this lot...
lucky escape....
wow... from one side of the story there are a whole ton of assumptions that have been made....
if it was purely going to be a social meet... then what business is it of anyone to know what else I had planned...
as long as I was at that place and point at that time arranged, then it is no one else's business..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
For me pleading ignorance towards a Meet Today post just doesn't cut it, especially when it is so simple to see that you have the icon listed on your profile.
Assuming you are logged in to your profile when you are being asked about it.
Assuming he has hidden his profile from non-registered users in the privacy settings.
Is there anything within this post that you will not doubt
Why would he need to hide his profile? people use phones to log on here, for all we know the message could have been via text or via msn/email, you're just assuming it was all done here, pretty much what we're all doing as the OP hasn't said any of it."
I'm not certain that you understand my point with hidden profiles and the privacy settings.
Hiding your profile from site users and from non-registered site browsers are two different things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont venture to post a thread very often but one for ladies.
You have a meet arranged for 8.00pm this evening as a social and you happen to look at the persons profile to see that they have a "meet today" sign up.
Now is this just me over re-acting?
Answers on a postcard please.
Mercedes x"
some people sometimes forget to remove the meet today sign after they have arranged a meet i always forget,i see your point though but although it may look dodgy you will probably find it isnt x |
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"no offence to anyone... but i know exactly what I'd be thinking if I was the gent in question now after reading this lot...
lucky escape....
wow... from one side of the story there are a whole ton of assumptions that have been made....
if it was purely going to be a social meet... then what business is it of anyone to know what else I had planned...
as long as I was at that place and point at that time arranged, then it is no one else's business....."
I agree with _abio
You'll even find some on here with the Meet Today up on their profile seemingly 24/7... But for it to be there you have to select it... It you pit it up by mistake the default is only for a max of 3 hrs...
Different people use the site in different ways... Each their own and leave those alone that cause you no direct harm surely... Give the guy a break! |
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I find these kind of threads both amusing and frustrating. The OP throws a couple of facts to the forum along with the crime and before you know where you are the forum SOCO team have presented enough evidence to convict the 'perpetrator' for life.
No trial, no other side presented.
In my opinion someone definately had a lucky escape... as to which one I'm sure you've all decided anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find these kind of threads both amusing and frustrating. The OP throws a couple of facts to the forum along with the crime and before you know where you are the forum SOCO team have presented enough evidence to convict the 'perpetrator' for life.
No trial, no other side presented.
In my opinion someone definately had a lucky escape... as to which one I'm sure you've all decided anyway. "
PMSL @ SOCA |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If anyone sent me a message saying "well it's your loss" it would confirm to me it wasn't.
How do you know it's not his loss?
Well you should know
Check your mailbox.
Mercedesx"
That sounds intriguing!- what did you send?! |
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