FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Playing with half of a cpl
Playing with half of a cpl
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Here's a question for people to debate.
My wife and I have met with several people and had great times! One of the guys we had over for a bi MMF explained rather sheepishly that he was married and his wife didn't know.
In hindsight, had we known before his arrival, we probably would have said no thanks.
The trouble is we had such a good time that we've arranged to meet with him again. Still his wife doesn't know.
Needless to say we feel pretty upset that we're involved with this act of infidelity (we don't even condone Net piracy, we're about as goodie-two-shoes as they come) yet so thoroughly enjoyed ourselves that we just had to say "Come again".
Contrastly, we've got a female friend who has said she wants to play with us again, and even suggested she could play without her husband. He, unlike the first guy, is well aware of what his wife regularly enjoys, and was with us when we last met her.
So we've two married people, one whose wife knows nothing of it, the other whose husband is well aware. We're not meeting them both at the same time, by the way, just arranging future meets. But what do others think and feel about meeting up with married people whose partners are unaware. Also, to those married people who do play without their partners knowledge, what is your stance on this? We'd love to hear what others think.
Cheers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Doesnt seem trustworthy or honest really does he. As to the woman, if you have spoken to her husband, i guess its your choice then.
To be honest, i dont play with cheaters, if i go to a party as i have been and i know one will be there, i make it known i wont play with them. |
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I don't play with people whose partners are unaware of what is going on. It's cost me meets but it's a rule I stick to. I think that if I did meet up with someone after finding out about their marital situation then it'd be hypocritical of me to exclude other people - so to keep things simple, I just don't go there at all.
I think that if I was in your position and found out afterwards that a playmate was cheating, then I'd not play with them any further. It's something I check before I meet someone so it'd be unlikely to happen without my knowledge... and if someone had lied to me for some reason, then that'd just be another reason to not play with them again.
Of course, this works for pre-arranged meets that are organised on here or other websites, but I'm sure in a club it'd be totally different and I'd be unlikely to interrogate every potential playmate to determine who is or isn't playing behind their partner's back. |
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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
To be honest, I hate cheaters, but on this occassion I feel even more sorry for the wife.
He's cheating as a bi male........!!
What will be the worst shock for her?
He's into swinging
He's doing couples
He's doing men
???
eeerrrrrrrrr......... I'd get out, pretty dam quick if I were you. You are seriously playing with fire with this one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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the problem is that even though you had a great time before, now you're thinking more deeply about it and its obviously bothered you enough to put this post up, then even if you did play with him again, you probably wouldnt enjoy it as much.
Obviously its up to you, but maybe remember the fab time you had and enjoy looking for new partners and new experiences, good times will be had again dont worry  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Here's a question for people to debate.
My wife and I have met with several people and had great times! One of the guys we had over for a bi MMF explained rather sheepishly that he was married and his wife didn't know.
In hindsight, had we known before his arrival, we probably would have said no thanks.
The trouble is we had such a good time that we've arranged to meet with him again. Still his wife doesn't know.
Needless to say we feel pretty upset that we're involved with this act of infidelity (we don't even condone Net piracy, we're about as goodie-two-shoes as they come) yet so thoroughly enjoyed ourselves that we just had to say "Come again".
Contrastly, we've got a female friend who has said she wants to play with us again, and even suggested she could play without her husband. He, unlike the first guy, is well aware of what his wife regularly enjoys, and was with us when we last met her.
So we've two married people, one whose wife knows nothing of it, the other whose husband is well aware. We're not meeting them both at the same time, by the way, just arranging future meets. But what do others think and feel about meeting up with married people whose partners are unaware. Also, to those married people who do play without their partners knowledge, what is your stance on this? We'd love to hear what others think.
Cheers"
We tend not to judge as often you don't know the full circumstances. Given a choice between a really nice but married guy and a sometimes problematic but single male we would probably go for the nice guy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I personally dont knowigly play with cheaters, tho i use clubs and parties a lot so im sure i have, i dont ask single guys in clubs if they married
At the end of the day its upto you, lots of people like cheaters as they feel theres less complication for them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We play with single guys, but only those that can accomodate in their own homes. This way we know they are not playing behind anyones back. When we do get contact from guys who openly admit they're married we turn them down straightaway, to me it's cheating not swinging. But everyone to their own as they say, be a boring old world if we all liked or did the same  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We dont 'knowingly' play with cheating males, but Im pretty damn sure we have played with cheating males. I dont ask, as I dont want to know. If I know, then I am party to the deception - and by playing I am almost giving approval.
Plus the amount of men that have gang-banged me in Chams, Im sure some will have been married!!!
But I do know one male who cheats and initially I was against it - he was a friend we have known for about 20 years. Basically his wife has not been interested in anything sexual for the last 10 years. He wont leave her as he loves her, but as a human he has needs. That was an awkward one, as you can see both sides... |
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"That was an awkward one, as you can see both sides..."
This is the Fab forums - seeing both sides of an argument, or making out that anything is other than black or white is STRICTLY forbidden.
Please choose which high horse you want to get on, mount it, and then return. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You enjoyed his company so what's the problem, or does the gold on his wedding ring put you off?
I'm sure you'll meet him again at the end of the day he's the cheater not you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You enjoyed his company so what's the problem, or does the gold on his wedding ring put you off?
I'm sure you'll meet him again at the end of the day he's the cheater not you "
And they are encouraging/helping him to cheat are they not? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I actually prefer attached men... its not my place to morally judge people.
I will only not play with one half of a couple on here, unless I talk to the other half..
Katie x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
This is the Fab forums - seeing both sides of an argument, or making out that anything is other than black or white is STRICTLY forbidden.
Please choose which high horse you want to get on, mount it, and then return."
Can I just choose the 'mount it' part and sort out his needs for him - then he wont need to stray anywhere else from his wife, I would be able to justify by saying I am thinking about her best interests!!!!  |
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I play solo from our couples profile - my husband is aware. He doesn't play solo.
As to playing with a married/ attached man without their other half's permission, it's not my first choice - but it's their domestic situation, not mine. At the end of the day, they'll likely 'cheat' anyway, whether it's with me or someone else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't see the problem with the woman who's partner is happy with the situation as for the man who is cheating how would you feel if the wife found out and confronted you |
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"I don't see the problem with the woman who's partner is happy with the situation as for the man who is cheating how would you feel if the wife found out and confronted you"
Tell her to go and sort it out with her husband, it's her/their problem, not mine. |
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We wouldn't play with anyone that we knew was cheating, that makes you as bad as them in our eyes, playing with one half of a couple with the others consent is a totally different thing and something that we've done. Z |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We dont 'knowingly' play with cheating males, but Im pretty damn sure we have played with cheating males. I dont ask, as I dont want to know. If I know, then I am party to the deception - and by playing I am almost giving approval.
Plus the amount of men that have gang-banged me in Chams, Im sure some will have been married!!!
But I do know one male who cheats and initially I was against it - he was a friend we have known for about 20 years. Basically his wife has not been interested in anything sexual for the last 10 years. He wont leave her as he loves her, but as a human he has needs. That was an awkward one, as you can see both sides..."
Do find this one difficult as how devasting is his wife going to be not only that her husband is cheating on her but her friends knew all about it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Do find this one difficult as how devasting is his wife going to be not only that her husband is cheating on her but her friends knew all about it "
I know - my initial response when he mentioned it to us was anger. I couldnt believe he could do it to her, it was so unfair. But then when I heard how she point blank refuses any physical contact (as far as she is concerned there is no need for sexual activity as they have the child they wanted), I realised that is also incredibly unfair.
She has decided for him that he has no option but to never have sexual satisfaction for the rest of his life. So basically from his early 30s to his death he has to be celibate (and unfortunately I know this is true as a friend of hers mentioned it to me without knowing the husband had already told me the situation).
Yes, he is wrong for cheating. But she is also wrong expecting him to close off a natural human need just because she isnt interested.
He has no interest in an affair, he doesnt want to spend time with another woman for their company. He is having to cheat because he simply cannot face a life without sex.
I wouldnt like to pass judgement on it as I can see arguments for both sides. Of the two (affair or sex club) I would rather he went to a sex club as at least then he will not be forming an emotional relationship with another woman. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Do find this one difficult as how devasting is his wife going to be not only that her husband is cheating on her but her friends knew all about it
I know - my initial response when he mentioned it to us was anger. I couldnt believe he could do it to her, it was so unfair. But then when I heard how she point blank refuses any physical contact (as far as she is concerned there is no need for sexual activity as they have the child they wanted), I realised that is also incredibly unfair.
She has decided for him that he has no option but to never have sexual satisfaction for the rest of his life. So basically from his early 30s to his death he has to be celibate (and unfortunately I know this is true as a friend of hers mentioned it to me without knowing the husband had already told me the situation).
Yes, he is wrong for cheating. But she is also wrong expecting him to close off a natural human need just because she isnt interested.
He has no interest in an affair, he doesnt want to spend time with another woman for their company. He is having to cheat because he simply cannot face a life without sex.
I wouldnt like to pass judgement on it as I can see arguments for both sides. Of the two (affair or sex club) I would rather he went to a sex club as at least then he will not be forming an emotional relationship with another woman."
If i were him, when the child they have together is old enough, he should leave her, have fun until he finds, if he can, someone that will enjoy sex, not just see it as a chore along with the ironing, washing etc etc |
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