FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > fuck buddies
fuck buddies
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Not a phrase i like much but not sure how else to phrase it
Anyway
Just wanted to know people opinions on couples who are just fuck buddies
Now i dont have anyone i meet with really however every now and again i do go to clubs with guys and so far never had any problems
however lol
i went to club over the weekend with a guy i know from off here
we was playing in a open room and a couple was waching us, after a while they came over and asked if it was ok to join in, they looked nice so we said yes, was playing for ages, had a great time with them etc had a chat after and saw them later at the bar, they came over again and chatted
then she asked me how long we had been together and if we was married etc
so i said, being honest, oh hes just a guy i met off a swinging site, never met him before tonight and that we had met earlier for a drink, got on so i bought him here
OMG then all hell broke loose 
she went mad, told us they didnt play with fuck buddies and only played with real couples, and that we as tricking people by coming as a couple when we as not, walked off and never spoke to us again
i was a bit shcked by her reaction to be honest, after all they approched us while we was mid play and asked to join in, what did she execpt us to do, stop mid play and descuss our living arrangment with them before we played?
If you play with someone and have a good time and get on does it really matter if they are a 'real couple' or not?
If it does matter that much wouldnt it be better to only play with people you have spoken to first and not just join in
i was a little bit niffed, not enough to spoil my night 
but i really didnt feel we had done anything wrong?!
*puts soap box away*  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We prefer to play with "real" couples (cant think of a better term). This is just due to personal preferences. However in a club if we had approached someone we were attracted to and later found out they were fuck buddies this wouldn't affect our choice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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NN you had every right to be miffed.
they wanted to play mf to mf regardless of whether you were an item or not thats what they got!
some people hey.
Will this put you off next time? Will you feel the need to declare you are not a couple?  |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
if they met you off the site and you had failed to mention it and/or they hadn't asked... then the diva fit MAY be understandable if they have an issue with it...
mid play... get over themselves, they never asked... you are hardly gonna take a cock out of your mouth to explain you ain't a married/engaged/living together.
If I am totally honest, couples who hook up for swinging only are not for me... but that's only because I think a lot of the guys are there for the 'golden ticket' and the female may be being used. That won't be in every case.. but certainly a good few. .
As always, each to their own... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Will this put you off next time? Will you feel the need to declare you are not a couple? "
dont know, not thought about it that close lol
I dont go to clubs with guys that offen
im a single woman so tend to meet and play as such
however sometimes its nice to have company and not have to go everywhere alone
to be honest if the same situation happened again i think i would do the same, i would never lie to anyone and pretend i was a couple just to attract the 'real couples' becauue to be honest im not that bothered about couples anyway
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I avoid arranging to meet fuck buddie couples (MF) for a number of reasons.... none of which are relevant after playing in a club.
If they chose to join you to play and all went well... then she should shut the fuck up basically.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I avoid arranging to meet fuck buddie couples (MF) for a number of reasons.... none of which are relevant after playing in a club.
If they chose to join you to play and all went well... then she should shut the fuck up basically.
"
lmao i do love you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We prefer "real couples". However, if we had approached you and your friend in a club in the same fashion and found out later that you weren't there is no way we would have made a drama out of it 
Some people love throwing their teddy out of the pram... I wouldn't let the drama queen bother you tbh. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Love the responses from View and Polo, quality!
I do not believe you have done anything inappropriate to cause their upset.
It is their own fault that they did not do their homework and wrongly assumed you were a couple.
Give them evil looks next time you bump into them. 
I seldom play with people I do not know at Chams when I go there on my own as a single fem, as it is not always possible to ascertain if a gent is genuinely single via a brief introductory conversation while in the jacuzzi etc... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If they are that fussy about knowing the ins and outs of their playmates lives, they shouldn't be playing in clubs! I'd have told her to stick to meeting online and ask if she wanted help drawing up an application form. What a daft bitch. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think its ridiculous when approaching you and assessing the situation and wishing to join in, then throwing a fit after finding that all the boxes on their imaginery criteria form weren't ticked. Some couples are arses.
Lots of couples dont like to play with fuck buddies and I imagine the reasoning behind this is that they have no emotional ties to each other and believe they are out for their own enjoyment and dont really care about the other person who is joining them.
But I have found with many couples I have played with, that also is the case. I find that it tends to end up in a straight swap and the hubby of the other couple seems to be content to be all over me and not once look in his wifes direction to see if shes enjoying herself. I like to play with my own guy in a couples situation as when I get really turned on I want him. When I reach over and suck my own mans cock, I can find the animosity sometimes from the hubby of the other couple thinking, god you have him all the time, your here to suck my cock. And I have to say its the same with the female, she doesnt seem to want to have sex with her own man too.
I really dislike straight swaps, I can have fantastic one on one sex with my own man, when I swing I want what I cant get every night, and thats one cock in my mouth and another in my pussy whilst a woman is licking my nipples, and obviously all swap around so we are all getting fantastic foursome fun. Not a 'you stick with me and your hub will stick with my wife type scenario.
So on this basis I really dont know why some couples do choose only 'real' couples. They are only out for themselves anyway. |
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"
Give them evil looks next time you bump into them.
"
I don't think that would be appropriate at all.
It would be more dignified to politely say “hello” and offer some advice to help the lady from finding herself in such a distraught state again in the future….
“Next time get ya’ fella to check my left hand for a ring instead of the crack of my arse”
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Give them evil looks next time you bump into them.
I don't think that would be appropriate at all.
It would be more dignified to politely say “hello” and offer some advice to help the lady from finding herself in such a distraught state again in the future….
“Next time get ya’ fella to check my left hand for a ring instead of the crack of my arse”
"
.
You are way too kind and with good grace! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I am totally honest, couples who hook up for swinging only are not for me... but that's only because I think a lot of the guys are there for the 'golden ticket' and the female may be being used. That won't be in every case.. but certainly a good few. .
As always, each to their own..."
On the other hand, at least when meeting fuck buddies it's clear from the start where we stand, there are couple who take a similar stance in all honesty. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"If I am totally honest, couples who hook up for swinging only are not for me... but that's only because I think a lot of the guys are there for the 'golden ticket' and the female may be being used. That won't be in every case.. but certainly a good few. .
As always, each to their own...
On the other hand, at least when meeting fuck buddies it's clear from the start where we stand, there are couple who take a similar stance in all honesty. "
For sure.. |
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Firstly we dont actually swap although sometimes have a bit of cross over fun with others (three is company for us). We have only had involvement with fuckbuddies twice and both times was a distaster so not for us. HOWEVER, if we were to approach a couple playing at a club/party and ask to join in then said couple would have no responsibility to tell us their status. Its our own responsibilty to police our own rules/likes/dislikes nobody else's. I think they were unreasonable but its their problem, no one elses. People make me laugh.
Mistress x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've never really understood the "real couple" over "fuck buddy" preference.
To us a couple is a man and a woman, it doesn't matter to us what their emotional attachment might or might not be.
I know everyone is different, but if you claim to like NSA sex, why should this bother you?
We've met singles, playing as couples on a few occaisions, in fact when we were actively looking for single guys, we always said they'd have a better chance of a meet if they could pair up with a lady to keep me occupied.
We've also met with single ladies who I've befriended in the forums here, or at parties, and applied the same stance.
It works for us  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If they are that fussy about knowing the ins and outs of their playmates lives, they shouldn't be playing in clubs! I'd have told her to stick to meeting online and ask if she wanted help drawing up an application form. What a daft bitch. "
Yup, makes sense to us.  |
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I don't get fuck buddies as I would feel a bit used as single guys are not sought after so am I just being used to get into clubs cheaper and for the guy to get a shag. However I understand the appeal to it as some don't want a relationship. However emotions will come into it at the end. You cannot have sex with someone over a period of time and not devolp feelings for that person.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think that as one of of an occasional Friends with Benefits couple, I don't care whether a couple are married or not, so long as one half is not a cheater, that is the only time I would put the Diva act on.
Also as I was brought up with manners, as far as I am concerned, if I play whether alone or as a couple, EVERONE's enjoyment is of paramount importance, if I thought someone didn't like a particular aspect of playing, I wouldn't allow it or continue and that goes for my friend too. Meeting is supposed to be about having some relaxed fun not pissing people off |
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We meet a great "fuck buddy" couple and can't fault them. Met them at a party got on really well and have been meeting them since. If we meet people in clubs and join in with someone then who or what they are is neither here nor there if i am meeting off the site i do like to know a little more about them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't get fuck buddies as I would feel a bit used as single guys are not sought after so am I just being used to get into clubs cheaper and for the guy to get a shag. However I understand the appeal to it as some don't want a relationship. However emotions will come into it at the end. You cannot have sex with someone over a period of time and not devolp feelings for that person.. "
I would agree with that as my friend and I, I would think do have feelings for each other though more as very close friends. And that is the best thing, that we get on so incredibly well and totally enjoy each others company but given past circumstances, neither of us wants a more permanent relationship and just enjoy being together when we can
As to the club thing, I often suggest to someone I know (and have met) to offer a lift to a 'lady in distress' that wants to go to a particular party but perhaps cannot travel. Yes it makes the entrance fee cheaper but I do have a couple of trusted friends that would willingly give someone a lift, no strings attached |
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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago
North of The Wall - youll need your vest |
"I don't get fuck buddies as I would feel a bit used as single guys are not sought after so am I just being used to get into clubs cheaper and for the guy to get a shag. However I understand the appeal to it as some don't want a relationship. However emotions will come into it at the end. You cannot have sex with someone over a period of time and not devolp feelings for that person.. "
Dont agree sorry. Up to now Ive only ever played at clubs when Ive gone there with someone. Yes the guy will get a shag - and so will I - isnt that the whole point? ....and it will be with someone that I have vetted, and Im quite happy to have his dangly bits in close proximity...
Emotions do not come in to it. The feelings that I develop over time are ones of trust, feeling safe and knowing that someone is there who will watch my back and give me a damn good shag. |
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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago
North of The Wall - youll need your vest |
Should have added - if it is something they feel so strongly about, then I think its their responsibility to choose who they play with, not yours...I think they are totally out of order for having a go at you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Should have added - if it is something they feel so strongly about, then I think its their responsibility to choose who they play with, not yours...I think they are totally out of order for having a go at you."
Agreed. |
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I am afraid I would have told her to wind her neck in !
If they are so particular about not playing with playfriends/fuck buddies etc then they might do well to meet people in the bar area and chat to them and not mid play in a room.
I have had a few fun friends as I call them and I don't feel at all used. Its a fun evening / day with a friend that you have mutual interests and fun with |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you meet in a club do you really need to know each others life history so what you all had a great time although I have met some great people through chameleons I do love the Anonymous of it as its my way of escaping the real world for a little while escapism. I agree completely with Iconic I go to a club to be free and not to be judged. I go with my regular wingman lol he is free to go off and play as I am it works this is why I don't do Saturdays as real couples too clicky. |
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"I don't get fuck buddies as I would feel a bit used as single guys are not sought after so am I just being used to get into clubs cheaper and for the guy to get a shag. However I understand the appeal to it as some don't want a relationship. However emotions will come into it at the end. You cannot have sex with someone over a period of time and not devolp feelings for that person..
Dont agree sorry. Up to now Ive only ever played at clubs when Ive gone there with someone. Yes the guy will get a shag - and so will I - isnt that the whole point? ....and it will be with someone that I have vetted, and Im quite happy to have his dangly bits in close proximity...
Emotions do not come in to it. The feelings that I develop over time are ones of trust, feeling safe and knowing that someone is there who will watch my back and give me a damn good shag."
I understand your point of _iew as each of us are different.. xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't get fuck buddies as I would feel a bit used as single guys are not sought after so am I just being used to get into clubs cheaper and for the guy to get a shag. However I understand the appeal to it as some don't want a relationship. However emotions will come into it at the end. You cannot have sex with someone over a period of time and not devolp feelings for that person.. "
Oh you can. Lol I have a very regular play partner... And I have no emotion attachments what so ever. It's sex.. he has a cock.. he knows what we like.. but its still just sex..why would feelings come into it.
Back on topic... She over reacted... And in a club if she only wanted real couples she should have asked first...
That's like me playing with a single guy at a club then after having a Fit to find out he's married..
Cali x |
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"I don't get fuck buddies as I would feel a bit used as single guys are not sought after so am I just being used to get into clubs cheaper and for the guy to get a shag. However I understand the appeal to it as some don't want a relationship. However emotions will come into it at the end. You cannot have sex with someone over a period of time and not devolp feelings for that person..
Oh you can. Lol I have a very regular play partner... And I have no emotion attachments what so ever. It's sex.. he has a cock.. he knows what we like.. but its still just sex..why would feelings come into it.
Back on topic... She over reacted... And in a club if she only wanted real couples she should have asked first...
That's like me playing with a single guy at a club then after having a Fit to find out he's married..
Cali x "
like I said each to their own..... |
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"I don't get fuck buddies as I would feel a bit used as single guys are not sought after so am I just being used to get into clubs cheaper and for the guy to get a shag. However I understand the appeal to it as some don't want a relationship. However emotions will come into it at the end. You cannot have sex with someone over a period of time and not devolp feelings for that person.. "
I disagree with the feelings for a person after having sex with them for a long period of time. Are you talking romantic feelings?
Most of my "friends" are guys ive known around 5 years, im friends with them and im fond of them but as far as falling for them or any romantic feelings nothing could be further than the truth. A few i have known longer than i have been with jay |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nymp babe some people just need to get a life
You two did nothing wrong but the couple are shallow in not accepting their incorrect judgement of the situation gracefully
Ya gets em ya really do Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think its ridiculous when approaching you and assessing the situation and wishing to join in, then throwing a fit after finding that all the boxes on their imaginery criteria form weren't ticked. Some couples are arses.
Lots of couples dont like to play with fuck buddies and I imagine the reasoning behind this is that they have no emotional ties to each other and believe they are out for their own enjoyment and dont really care about the other person who is joining them.
But I have found with many couples I have played with, that also is the case. I find that it tends to end up in a straight swap and the hubby of the other couple seems to be content to be all over me and not once look in his wifes direction to see if shes enjoying herself. I like to play with my own guy in a couples situation as when I get really turned on I want him. When I reach over and suck my own mans cock, I can find the animosity sometimes from the hubby of the other couple thinking, god you have him all the time, your here to suck my cock. And I have to say its the same with the female, she doesnt seem to want to have sex with her own man too.
I really dislike straight swaps, I can have fantastic one on one sex with my own man, when I swing I want what I cant get every night, and thats one cock in my mouth and another in my pussy whilst a woman is licking my nipples, and obviously all swap around so we are all getting fantastic foursome fun. Not a 'you stick with me and your hub will stick with my wife type scenario.
So on this basis I really dont know why some couples do choose only 'real' couples. They are only out for themselves anyway."
I have to agree on this point,I play with a male friend or fuckbuddy if you prefer that but find that when we have met "real" couples if anything we are more aware of our own partners feelings than they seem to be.
I dislike straight swap but find some "real" couples only seem to want this whereas when we have played with other couples like us they seem to enjoy the whole 4some experience as we do.
we have no jealousy when in a club yet have experienced it with the "real" couples,we just enjoy each others company and enjoy sharing the experience with others. |
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"I don't get fuck buddies as I would feel a bit used as single guys are not sought after so am I just being used to get into clubs cheaper and for the guy to get a shag. However I understand the appeal to it as some don't want a relationship. However emotions will come into it at the end. You cannot have sex with someone over a period of time and not devolp feelings for that person..
I disagree with the feelings for a person after having sex with them for a long period of time. Are you talking romantic feelings?
Most of my "friends" are guys ive known around 5 years, im friends with them and im fond of them but as far as falling for them or any romantic feelings nothing could be further than the truth. A few i have known longer than i have been with jay"
Ok what I was trying to say was that sometimes feelings devolp between bed buddies. I have had bed buddies in the past and not developed feelings and seen it as just sex. I have guy friends that I care for but don't have the feelings for. I was simply saying that it has to be the right situation and not one where anyone was going to get hurt.... |
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"I don't get fuck buddies as I would feel a bit used as single guys are not sought after so am I just being used to get into clubs cheaper and for the guy to get a shag. However I understand the appeal to it as some don't want a relationship. However emotions will come into it at the end. You cannot have sex with someone over a period of time and not devolp feelings for that person..
I disagree with the feelings for a person after having sex with them for a long period of time. Are you talking romantic feelings?
Most of my "friends" are guys ive known around 5 years, im friends with them and im fond of them but as far as falling for them or any romantic feelings nothing could be further than the truth. A few i have known longer than i have been with jay
Ok what I was trying to say was that sometimes feelings devolp between bed buddies. I have had bed buddies in the past and not developed feelings and seen it as just sex. I have guy friends that I care for but don't have the feelings for. I was simply saying that it has to be the right situation and not one where anyone was going to get hurt.... "
I understand exactly what you are saying and yes bed buddies can and do often fall for each other but initially when you meet someone its nsa. If i thought i was falling for one in a romantic way then i would just stop seeing them.
With the guys ive been seeing ages we have a rule out of respect for knowing each other so long that if neither of us wanted to continue meeting we will tell the other and not just disappear into the sunset. Id be dissappointed that i wouldnt be seeing them anymore obviously after knowing someone along time but thats all it would be |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We only look to meet "real couples", that being couples living together in a long standing relationship but not necessarily married.
However when we're at a party or when we used to go to a club we relaxed that rule.
If the woman of the couple only wanted to meet "real couples" then she should stay away from clubs and meet them privately.
XXXX |
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if something is a deal breaker for you be it fuck buddies ,married and playing away ,tattoos ,if they are bi or not ect ect then its up to you to enquire about these things .i feel sorry the op was bombasted at the club by the couple. theyve a bloody cheek kicking off ! they were the ones who asked to join yous .they were the ones who made assumptions .they are also the ones with their rules about fuck buddies ! you arent a mind reader, it would of taken them a second when asking to join you to ask if you were partners ect if this was such a HUGE deal to them . why didnt they ask .... because they were HORNY and obviously not the priority the proclaim it to be . if somethings a real no no that would of been one of the first things youd ask about ! if you dont ask you cant bleat later that "its not the way they play " .you put it behind you and use it as a learn for furture .you certainly dont kick off at innocent people who were gracious enough to allow you to join them ! you wouldnt eat a slap up meal and when it comes to the bill then blast the waiter because there were carrots on the plate lol ! get real !!! lol!
personally i wouldnt arrange to meet fuck buddies from the site (purely logistics ,easier to arrange meets with married cpls from my exsperience) but at club if it wouldnt be an issue at all ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We would only want to meet "real" couples so 2 speak. We havent had a meet but feel that there wouldnt be any passion between fb's and also none of the other feelings that may come with the situation. Maybe after a few meets our opinion may change but for now we believe that swinging is about expanding the sex life of a couple not of friends with extras or fb's. xx |
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"she went mad, told us they didnt play with fuck buddies and only played with real couples, and that we as tricking people by coming as a couple when we as not, walked off and never spoke to us again
"
She should have asked first then if it was so important LOL.
Never asked anybody as we like to take every couple as they come and try not pre-judge them. Honestly have no idea what percent of the couples we have played with have been fbs vs long term couples.
Interested to hear that quite a lot of couples feel it makes a difference.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I guess the real question here is what's the difference between a 'real couple' and a 'pretend couple'?
That these guys had sex then asked the question is a bit like going in to a restaurant, eating a meal then asking how much it costs (;-)
Maybe there are assumptions made about 'real couples' that are different to 'fuck buddies'?
Whatever, they should have talked things through rather than give you a rough ride.
Maybe you should have kicked off comlaining they weren't Fuck Buddies and how offended you were about their code of ethics (then told the to sod off (;-))
Life's too short for crap (;-)
Have fun !!!
Ray x |
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"I've never really understood the "real couple" over "fuck buddy" preference.
To us a couple is a man and a woman, it doesn't matter to us what their emotional attachment might or might not be.
I know everyone is different, but if you claim to like NSA sex, why should this bother you?
We've met singles, playing as couples on a few occaisions, in fact when we were actively looking for single guys, we always said they'd have a better chance of a meet if they could pair up with a lady to keep me occupied.
We've also met with single ladies who I've befriended in the forums here, or at parties, and applied the same stance.
It works for us "
Could not agree more Jack.....If you meet up with a couple and get on, and the sex was great, what difference does it make if they are a 'real' couple or not?
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"We would only want to meet "real" couples so 2 speak. We havent had a meet but feel that there wouldnt be any passion between fb's and also none of the other feelings that may come with the situation. Maybe after a few meets our opinion may change but for now we believe that swinging is about expanding the sex life of a couple not of friends with extras or fb's. xx "
No offence meant but maybe once you meet a few "real" couples or fb couples you could decide if its right for you,we are fb's that play as a couple yet we are very passionate towards each other and have feelings as friends do.
As the female half of this couple I find it more fun to play as part of a couple and also a lot safer too,and even as friends we can still enjoy expanding our sex life together |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Could not agree more Jack.....If you meet up with a couple and get on, and the sex was great, what difference does it make if they are a 'real' couple or not?
I agree and my _iew is that if people have fun and get along then what difference does it make. Mr and I are neither FBs nor are we married (TFFT he cries!) and we have a great relationship - we get on fantastically well in and out of the bedroom and enjoy swinging with no jealousy and are very easy going. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I dislike straight swap but find some "real" couples only seem to want this whereas when we have played with other couples like us they seem to enjoy the whole 4some experience as we do.
"
I wonder this a lot. You can talk to couples in a club and they are so close and so in love and love watching each other having sex with others. Why then, when play commences, do they just want a straight swap. Why are they put out when I reach for my own man and they look at me as if Im doing something really perverse and deviant because I happen to want to suck my own guys cock instead of keeping to the opposite partner in the foursome. Its the main reason why we dont play with many couples. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A woman being used by the male side of a fuck buddy couple...cmon lets get realistic, how is that use happening? the man is using the woman for a fuck AND the woman is using the man for a fuck they are FUCK buddies after all O.o. getting in clubs cheaper...well if your fuck buddies and going to play in a club then why would the guy pay extra...after all your buddies, would you want your mates to pay more than you to get in a night club, of course not they are your mates, fuck buddies are people who get on well sexually so they are mates in a fashion. I think its unfair to do what some people are doing and say the guy is useing the woman. As for the original question...their problem they should have checked before hand. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Many couples who only want to play with "real couples" are long term couples who are totally committed to each other.
When they meet another couple they are sharing the most valuable thing in their lives, their partner.
Therefore they expect nothing less from the couple they're playing with.
No matter how friendly they are with each other, two people who've got together just to raise their chances of a shag don't posses that same commitment.
This may be hard for a lot of singles to comprehend but then again many people, who are single members, say that they wouldn't want to share their partner if they had one.
So perhaps those singles with that mind set can better understand the "real couple" issue.
XXXX |
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I had a fuck buddy or swing partner for a year and we met both real and swing couples with no problem.
I just haven't been able eto find another partner since, and been looking 2 years.
If u fancy playing with someone whats the difference if they are a real couple or not? Next thing it will be are they married or just living together, lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A woman being used by the male side of a fuck buddy couple...cmon lets get realistic, how is that use happening? the man is using the woman for a fuck AND the woman is using the man for a fuck they are FUCK buddies after all O.o. getting in clubs cheaper...well if your fuck buddies and going to play in a club then why would the guy pay extra...after all your buddies, would you want your mates to pay more than you to get in a night club, of course not they are your mates, fuck buddies are people who get on well sexually so they are mates in a fashion. I think its unfair to do what some people are doing and say the guy is useing the woman. As for the original question...their problem they should have checked before hand."
i think a lot of people see guys as using women in this way because they feel the man is meeting the women in order to get to more women, as in couple up to meet other couples, get into clubs and play with other couples, get more party invites as they taking a woman etc
which is true of some men
but at the end of the day people can only use you if you allow them to use you, if i go to a club with a guy, no matter how much he likes a woman i will not play with her fella just so who i go with can get a shag, i do not meet other couples with a guy unless i like them and want to meet them, do noot play with people at parties i would not play with if i was alone
noone uses me and anyone who knows me will know im quite head stong and will speak up for myself on such matters
if women do allow themselves to be used in such a way by guys looking for a swinging ticket.....more fool them
people only treat you how you allow them to treat you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest I actually miss trust more couples who have single profiles as realistically, it could be the male trying it on as he isn't getting any at home. And that's because I always get contacted by the male not the female
As to FB's playing with a couple, for me personally, I like to play with both, as a foursome though of course that does depend on whether any part of the other couple swing both ways. As I have said before everyone's preference and choice is important |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have met couples playing as a couple with my fb and see no harm whether were a "real" couple or not!! Having a fb suits my current busy lifestyle, and circumstances. After all we are all here for the same thing and have fun and enjoy!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Many couples who only want to play with "real couples" are long term couples who are totally committed to each other.
When they meet another couple they are sharing the most valuable thing in their lives, their partner.
Therefore they expect nothing less from the couple they're playing with.
No matter how friendly they are with each other, two people who've got together just to raise their chances of a shag don't posses that same commitment.
This may be hard for a lot of singles to comprehend but then again many people, who are single members, say that they wouldn't want to share their partner if they had one.
So perhaps those singles with that mind set can better understand the "real couple" issue.
XXXX"
I find though that no matter how committed couples are when there out and about during their weekly shop in Sainsburys, when it gets to the playroom then its just each for their own.
We've spoken to couples beforehand and the guy has said, 'we swing cos I love watching her with other guys, it really turns me on when a guy is giving her oral and she's cumming all over his tongue, I love watching that. Then when you get in a playroom and this is happening I almost feel I have to tap him on the shoulder and say 'excuse me, can you hear the noises she's making, you said you enjoy watching her, quick get your head out from between my thighs as you're gonna miss it!
Sometimes in this respect the statement that fuck buddies are just out for themselves and guys are just using the other woman to get more playing opportunities is unfounded, cos a lot of couples just want sex with new people rather than watching each other so therefore there is no difference |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We dont play with couples only single guys but I think this woman want s to question if she was in the right place. surely you need to ask questions before playing. we spend a lot of time chatting to guys before meeting. I feel sorry for your experience NN and hope you and your buddy enjoy lots more exciting times at clubs. |
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We like to chat to a cpl first in a club see if we all click have a laugh a drink relax with them we would never just join in with a cpl but thats our prefrence...i think if she was that botherd who she was having sex with at a club she should take a leaf out of our book you did nothing wrong hun. keep the faith . lol. happy times xxx |
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I have a couples profile with my FB... we're entirely up front about the fact that we're not a couple in the traditional sense but I'm a great believer in being honest. We're all entitled to a choice but I wouldn't be impressed if someone had a go at us for it, either before or after playing with us. If you care about that stuff the it's your responsibility to find out before you get into something, not have a go at someone after the fact because it doesn't fit in with your choices. They had a choice to ask before they started playing... that they didn't take it is their problem! You didn't do anything wrong. |
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"Not a phrase i like much but not sure how else to phrase it
Anyway
Just wanted to know people opinions on couples who are just fuck buddies
Now i dont have anyone i meet with really however every now and again i do go to clubs with guys and so far never had any problems
however lol
i went to club over the weekend with a guy i know from off here
we was playing in a open room and a couple was waching us, after a while they came over and asked if it was ok to join in, they looked nice so we said yes, was playing for ages, had a great time with them etc had a chat after and saw them later at the bar, they came over again and chatted
then she asked me how long we had been together and if we was married etc
so i said, being honest, oh hes just a guy i met off a swinging site, never met him before tonight and that we had met earlier for a drink, got on so i bought him here
OMG then all hell broke loose
she went mad, told us they didnt play with fuck buddies and only played with real couples, and that we as tricking people by coming as a couple when we as not, walked off and never spoke to us again
i was a bit shcked by her reaction to be honest, after all they approched us while we was mid play and asked to join in, what did she execpt us to do, stop mid play and descuss our living arrangment with them before we played?
If you play with someone and have a good time and get on does it really matter if they are a 'real couple' or not?
If it does matter that much wouldnt it be better to only play with people you have spoken to first and not just join in
i was a little bit niffed, not enough to spoil my night
but i really didnt feel we had done anything wrong?!
*puts soap box away* "
cant see where you went wrong at all! After all they asked to join in and the presumption was all theirs..
I can see why some wont meet FB couples and I believe it's down to in some part feeling 'safer'.
however, other thoughts spring to mind such as what if you were a new couple only been together a shall we say a couple of weeks and would you have been met with the same response? I think that with this couple very possibly..
perhaps Chams should have FB rooms as well! lol
it also goes to show that what you don't know doesn't hurt you!
seems to me they're bringing in to question your decision to meet and play how you want or that there FB radar doesn't work as you were clearly giving off signals of being a couple! lol
I know you wont loose any sleep over it and as you know I used to go to chams as a guest of a lady from here and if when in the bar or hot tubs it was never an issue..it would come up in general conversation and it was still never issue, of course we may not spoken to this couple in particular.
The onus is on them to ask and then politely decline if you don't fit their criteria..all though to come out " are you a couple or FB's?" could be a passion killer! lol
but if they had they would by what you have said missed out on some fantastic play.
there criteria is their business and they may well now have to re-evaluate how and who they meet at clubs.
but you have done nothing wrong..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry, I do not understand what "real" couple meant. I do think that when people present themselves as couples, then you should see them in that light (MyStupidThoughts ).
Aww, poor her! She'd have asked for a marriage certificate before asking to join in and again, would have asked if you and your playmate are in love because I can bet she doesn't play with "real" couple who are not in love.
In conclusion, PEOPLE AND EVENTS!!!!
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"Many couples who only want to play with "real couples" are long term couples who are totally committed to each other.
When they meet another couple they are sharing the most valuable thing in their lives, their partner.
Therefore they expect nothing less from the couple they're playing with.
No matter how friendly they are with each other, two people who've got together just to raise their chances of a shag don't posses that same commitment.
This may be hard for a lot of singles to comprehend but then again many people, who are single members, say that they wouldn't want to share their partner if they had one.
So perhaps those singles with that mind set can better understand the "real couple" issue.
XXXX
I find though that no matter how committed couples are when there out and about during their weekly shop in Sainsburys, when it gets to the playroom then its just each for their own.
We've spoken to couples beforehand and the guy has said, 'we swing cos I love watching her with other guys, it really turns me on when a guy is giving her oral and she's cumming all over his tongue, I love watching that. Then when you get in a playroom and this is happening I almost feel I have to tap him on the shoulder and say 'excuse me, can you hear the noises she's making, you said you enjoy watching her, quick get your head out from between my thighs as you're gonna miss it!
Sometimes in this respect the statement that fuck buddies are just out for themselves and guys are just using the other woman to get more playing opportunities is unfounded, cos a lot of couples just want sex with new people rather than watching each other so therefore there is no difference "
Know what you are saying. Another reason why we dont swap. We just want to play together and if a hottie or two wants to join in then cool, point is we are the main event to each other. Takes all sorts though I guess. Three is the magic number for us though.
Mistress x |
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Personally we are in the camp of "fuck buddies want their cake and eat it" two we have chatted to openly admit to cheating on their wives!! one even said "my wife would chop my balls off if she knew" not exactly even handed is it?? no we will not meet "fuck buddies" no matter what bull they give us for why they are not a proper item |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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But they were already in the couples room and you do not go in there to chat you go in there to play that's the whole idea is it not. You carry on nn you are fabulous. |
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one thing we did miss out though is we are sympathetic with NN after all it is up to folks to ask questions and certainly in her situation the couple joining them were totlly out of order, our earlier comment was about "fuck buddies" who generally are cheating on their spouses |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Personally we are in the camp of "fuck buddies want their cake and eat it" two we have chatted to openly admit to cheating on their wives!! one even said "my wife would chop my balls off if she knew" not exactly even handed is it?? no we will not meet "fuck buddies" no matter what bull they give us for why they are not a proper item "
define "want their cake and eat it"
Im a single female there for i dont have a partner to meet with, tho i do go to clubs and meet alone mainly sometimes it is nice to go out with someone, sometimes its nice to go to new places, which i dont like to do alone, i will go to clubs im used to alone but i dont think i would like to go somewhere new where i didnt know anyone alone and like everyone i like to try new places, things, which some times means taking someone with me
i dont see that as wanting my cake and eating it, just because sometimes i like to meet with a 'fuck buddie' |
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"Personally we are in the camp of "fuck buddies want their cake and eat it" two we have chatted to openly admit to cheating on their wives!! one even said "my wife would chop my balls off if she knew" not exactly even handed is it?? no we will not meet "fuck buddies" no matter what bull they give us for why they are not a proper item "
not all people who swing as fuck buddies are cheating on partners .yes the two you have spoken to may be but i have spoken to plenty where both the fem and the guy are very single but enjoy joining up on occasions to swing . why on earth shouldnt they ! aslong as they arent blatently misleading people theres nothing wrong with them swinging the way they wish .
if you dont wish to meet fuck buddies thats what suits you an there is no right or wrong about it ,just as they have right to swing as they wish . as for having their cake and eating it well think cpls have that too lol !! you get not only the sex with your own parntner but with other people too ,so no difference lol !
on the point you made about tow fuck buddies cheating on their wives ..well sorry to burst your bubble but ive had more propositions from married guys of swing couples to play behind wifes back than i have from fuckbuddies where guys a cheat ! there are cheats across the broad on here . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't get fuck buddies as I would feel a bit used as single guys are not sought after so am I just being used to get into clubs cheaper and for the guy to get a shag. However I understand the appeal to it as some don't want a relationship. However emotions will come into it at the end. You cannot have sex with someone over a period of time and not devolp feelings for that person.. "
Yes you can |
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those married guys who cheat are indeed the lowest of the lows fortunately the people we have met have been a nicer class of couple and we have not had a suggestion of a cheating hubby, but as you say we all have our parameters and we are all entitled to our opinions, of the "fuck buddies" we have had contact from (5 in all) every one of them has at least one partner married to others |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"those married guys who cheat are indeed the lowest of the lows fortunately the people we have met have been a nicer class of couple and we have not had a suggestion of a cheating hubby, but as you say we all have our parameters and we are all entitled to our opinions, of the "fuck buddies" we have had contact from (5 in all) every one of them has at least one partner married to others "
Are you forming judgements based on examination of circumstance or because there is some rule which says all married men must not cheat?
I am a married man. My wife, who I love, cannot have intimacy due to an operation that went wrong; it's like living with a loved relative.
I have been a few years without intimacy and so far have conformed to the stereotypical 'husband'. But I don't enjoy not holding a woman.
Without going in to detail, my point is I do not believe you can tar all husbands with the same brush.
To be honest, I am shocked such judgemental _iews appear on this site which is where I'd have expected more understanding.
Maybe I am in the wrong place?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"those married guys who cheat are indeed the lowest of the lows fortunately the people we have met have been a nicer class of couple and we have not had a suggestion of a cheating hubby, but as you say we all have our parameters and we are all entitled to our opinions, of the "fuck buddies" we have had contact from (5 in all) every one of them has at least one partner married to others
Are you forming judgements based on examination of circumstance or because there is some rule which says all married men must not cheat?
I am a married man. My wife, who I love, cannot have intimacy due to an operation that went wrong; it's like living with a loved relative.
I have been a few years without intimacy and so far have conformed to the stereotypical 'husband'. But I don't enjoy not holding a woman.
Without going in to detail, my point is I do not believe you can tar all husbands with the same brush.
To be honest, I am shocked such judgemental _iews appear on this site which is where I'd have expected more understanding.
Maybe I am in the wrong place?
"
But does your wife know you are on here? That is the crux of the matter, if she doesn't know then you are cheating, whatever reason someone is on here and the wife or husband doesn't know, its still cheating |
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"Personally we are in the camp of "fuck buddies want their cake and eat it" two we have chatted to openly admit to cheating on their wives!! one even said "my wife would chop my balls off if she knew" not exactly even handed is it?? no we will not meet "fuck buddies" no matter what bull they give us for why they are not a proper item "
Nice that you're not tarring us all with the same brush though isn't it!
My FB and I are both single. We don't have the urge to cheat on anyone. He meets people as a single male and I meet people as a single female and we've just started meeting people together.
I wouldn't meet a couple who didn't want to play with FBs, I'd never lie to anyone about my circumstances or his, neither of us have to. Frankly I wouldn't waste my time chatting to people who weren't open minded enough to realise that sometimes people just like sex and simply find that they want to explore that with their friends.
I dare say you're right, I do have my cake and I can eat it but I don't need to lie or cheat to do that. So there! |
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"Personally we are in the camp of "fuck buddies want their cake and eat it" two we have chatted to openly admit to cheating on their wives!! one even said "my wife would chop my balls off if she knew" not exactly even handed is it?? no we will not meet "fuck buddies" no matter what bull they give us for why they are not a proper item
Nice that you're not tarring us all with the same brush though isn't it!
My FB and I are both single. We don't have the urge to cheat on anyone. He meets people as a single male and I meet people as a single female and we've just started meeting people together.
I wouldn't meet a couple who didn't want to play with FBs, I'd never lie to anyone about my circumstances or his, neither of us have to. Frankly I wouldn't waste my time chatting to people who weren't open minded enough to realise that sometimes people just like sex and simply find that they want to explore that with their friends.
I dare say you're right, I do have my cake and I can eat it but I don't need to lie or cheat to do that. So there! "
I couldn't have put it better,totally agree |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i swung with a very good friend a few years ago we werent g/f or b/f because he worked abroad and wasnt around much so i guess we were fuck buddies but when we were together we felt and acted like a couple ...no one who met us in that 2 years would ever have guessed we werent either married or loved up or whatever ? there are degrees of Fuckbuddyness i think ??? and To the OP i think the lady in question was well out of order you shouldnt feel bad about her reaction .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"those married guys who cheat are indeed the lowest of the lows fortunately the people we have met have been a nicer class of couple and we have not had a suggestion of a cheating hubby, but as you say we all have our parameters and we are all entitled to our opinions, of the "fuck buddies" we have had contact from (5 in all) every one of them has at least one partner married to others
Are you forming judgements based on examination of circumstance or because there is some rule which says all married men must not cheat?
I am a married man. My wife, who I love, cannot have intimacy due to an operation that went wrong; it's like living with a loved relative.
I have been a few years without intimacy and so far have conformed to the stereotypical 'husband'. But I don't enjoy not holding a woman.
Without going in to detail, my point is I do not believe you can tar all husbands with the same brush.
To be honest, I am shocked such judgemental _iews appear on this site which is where I'd have expected more understanding.
Maybe I am in the wrong place?
But does your wife know you are on here? That is the crux of the matter, if she doesn't know then you are cheating, whatever reason someone is on here and the wife or husband doesn't know, its still cheating"
No, my wife does not know. Think it through. Why would I want to rub her nose in something she cannot change or escape from? If I told her she'd feel hurt. I think she suspects but she never asks.
So, let me ask you a question, do you believe you judge me whilst standing on the moral high ground? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"those married guys who cheat are indeed the lowest of the lows fortunately the people we have met have been a nicer class of couple and we have not had a suggestion of a cheating hubby, but as you say we all have our parameters and we are all entitled to our opinions, of the "fuck buddies" we have had contact from (5 in all) every one of them has at least one partner married to others
Are you forming judgements based on examination of circumstance or because there is some rule which says all married men must not cheat?
I am a married man. My wife, who I love, cannot have intimacy due to an operation that went wrong; it's like living with a loved relative.
I have been a few years without intimacy and so far have conformed to the stereotypical 'husband'. But I don't enjoy not holding a woman.
Without going in to detail, my point is I do not believe you can tar all husbands with the same brush.
To be honest, I am shocked such judgemental _iews appear on this site which is where I'd have expected more understanding.
Maybe I am in the wrong place?
But does your wife know you are on here? That is the crux of the matter, if she doesn't know then you are cheating, whatever reason someone is on here and the wife or husband doesn't know, its still cheating
No, my wife does not know. Think it through. Why would I want to rub her nose in something she cannot change or escape from? If I told her she'd feel hurt. I think she suspects but she never asks.
So, let me ask you a question, do you believe you judge me whilst standing on the moral high ground?"
Hmmm you took the vows! In sickness and in health |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"those married guys who cheat are indeed the lowest of the lows fortunately the people we have met have been a nicer class of couple and we have not had a suggestion of a cheating hubby, but as you say we all have our parameters and we are all entitled to our opinions, of the "fuck buddies" we have had contact from (5 in all) every one of them has at least one partner married to others
Are you forming judgements based on examination of circumstance or because there is some rule which says all married men must not cheat?
I am a married man. My wife, who I love, cannot have intimacy due to an operation that went wrong; it's like living with a loved relative.
I have been a few years without intimacy and so far have conformed to the stereotypical 'husband'. But I don't enjoy not holding a woman.
Without going in to detail, my point is I do not believe you can tar all husbands with the same brush.
To be honest, I am shocked such judgemental _iews appear on this site which is where I'd have expected more understanding.
Maybe I am in the wrong place?
But does your wife know you are on here? That is the crux of the matter, if she doesn't know then you are cheating, whatever reason someone is on here and the wife or husband doesn't know, its still cheating
No, my wife does not know. Think it through. Why would I want to rub her nose in something she cannot change or escape from? If I told her she'd feel hurt. I think she suspects but she never asks.
So, let me ask you a question, do you believe you judge me whilst standing on the moral high ground?
Hmmm you took the vows! In sickness and in health "
yes but not everyone remebers those vows... my ex was shagging my friend when i was disabled for 2 years following a botched operation....i think it might have been preferable if he had looked for some NSA sex ..... of course now im bloody glad .... she is welcome to him ... ive found meself a fab guy !!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"those married guys who cheat are indeed the lowest of the lows fortunately the people we have met have been a nicer class of couple and we have not had a suggestion of a cheating hubby, but as you say we all have our parameters and we are all entitled to our opinions, of the "fuck buddies" we have had contact from (5 in all) every one of them has at least one partner married to others
Are you forming judgements based on examination of circumstance or because there is some rule which says all married men must not cheat?
I am a married man. My wife, who I love, cannot have intimacy due to an operation that went wrong; it's like living with a loved relative.
I have been a few years without intimacy and so far have conformed to the stereotypical 'husband'. But I don't enjoy not holding a woman.
Without going in to detail, my point is I do not believe you can tar all husbands with the same brush.
To be honest, I am shocked such judgemental _iews appear on this site which is where I'd have expected more understanding.
Maybe I am in the wrong place?
But does your wife know you are on here? That is the crux of the matter, if she doesn't know then you are cheating, whatever reason someone is on here and the wife or husband doesn't know, its still cheating
No, my wife does not know. Think it through. Why would I want to rub her nose in something she cannot change or escape from? If I told her she'd feel hurt. I think she suspects but she never asks.
So, let me ask you a question, do you believe you judge me whilst standing on the moral high ground?
Hmmm you took the vows! In sickness and in health "
Dear Slutpuppy, thanks for empathising. Whenever I question the vows from now on I will ask myself "What moral guidance would slutpuppy offer?" (;-)
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"those married guys who cheat are indeed the lowest of the lows fortunately the people we have met have been a nicer class of couple and we have not had a suggestion of a cheating hubby, but as you say we all have our parameters and we are all entitled to our opinions, of the "fuck buddies" we have had contact from (5 in all) every one of them has at least one partner married to others
Are you forming judgements based on examination of circumstance or because there is some rule which says all married men must not cheat?
I am a married man. My wife, who I love, cannot have intimacy due to an operation that went wrong; it's like living with a loved relative.
I have been a few years without intimacy and so far have conformed to the stereotypical 'husband'. But I don't enjoy not holding a woman.
Without going in to detail, my point is I do not believe you can tar all husbands with the same brush.
To be honest, I am shocked such judgemental _iews appear on this site which is where I'd have expected more understanding.
Maybe I am in the wrong place?
But does your wife know you are on here? That is the crux of the matter, if she doesn't know then you are cheating, whatever reason someone is on here and the wife or husband doesn't know, its still cheating
No, my wife does not know. Think it through. Why would I want to rub her nose in something she cannot change or escape from? If I told her she'd feel hurt. I think she suspects but she never asks.
So, let me ask you a question, do you believe you judge me whilst standing on the moral high ground?"
Who said I was judging you? And I am not standing on the moral high ground. I made a comment that's all, something I am entitled to do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Greykitten,
I read your comment and its focus on making sure i saw the label "cheating" applying to me.
I do not see it like that. I see myself quite a few years in to a tough spot looking for a way to make sure I keep my wife safe and find someone I can have intimacy with without hurting anyone.
So if I have incorrectly interpreted your message as placing the label 'cheat' on me as being judged, then please accept my apology. Maybe the way you used the word was not how I read it.
Best wishes
ray
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"those married guys who cheat are indeed the lowest of the lows fortunately the people we have met have been a nicer class of couple and we have not had a suggestion of a cheating hubby, but as you say we all have our parameters and we are all entitled to our opinions, of the "fuck buddies" we have had contact from (5 in all) every one of them has at least one partner married to others "
cheating has nothing to do with class lol !! we have socailised with very respectable married couples on swing sites together ,and i have had messages from a single guy profiles from the husband/boyfriend propositioning me to meet alone with out their other halfs knowlegdge . this has happened far more than me being contacted from fuckbuddies who cheating on their partner/s. so my exsperience is far different to yours . yes some fuck buddie couples are cheats but so are an awful lot of married couples ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"those married guys who cheat are indeed the lowest of the lows fortunately the people we have met have been a nicer class of couple and we have not had a suggestion of a cheating hubby, but as you say we all have our parameters and we are all entitled to our opinions, of the "fuck buddies" we have had contact from (5 in all) every one of them has at least one partner married to others
cheating has nothing to do with class lol !! we have socailised with very respectable married couples on swing sites together ,and i have had messages from a single guy profiles from the husband/boyfriend propositioning me to meet alone with out their other halfs knowlegdge . this has happened far more than me being contacted from fuckbuddies who cheating on their partner/s. so my exsperience is far different to yours . yes some fuck buddie couples are cheats but so are an awful lot of married couples !"
I agree and the reason is there is "no one type" of person nor is there the same situation we find ourselves in. We are all different and in different situations. Therefore, to understand the rights and wrongs of an episode need to be assessed in that context.
The problem is people think following rules blindly is the basis of 'doing the right thing'. They end up as slaves to rules.
Everyone is a unique human and needs to be assessed in that way. What cards were dealt to that person and how did they play them?
Thanks for this message !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why do we always have the wedding vows argument brought into this so often. Yes people are here who are married and their partners dont know, yes people have every right to not meet them if they disagree with cheating, but theres no need to spout off the wedding vow argument, you're not the pope.
I was married in church and took traditional vows. I break them when I swing - 'forsaking all others' etc etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do we always have the wedding vows argument brought into this so often. Yes people are here who are married and their partners dont know, yes people have every right to not meet them if they disagree with cheating, but theres no need to spout off the wedding vow argument, you're not the pope.
I was married in church and took traditional vows. I break them when I swing - 'forsaking all others' etc etc. "
No I aint the Pope but neither am I the one who chose to take the vows!...the fact is just because the wife is unwell the husband thinks its okay to come on a swinging site and have sex with other women/men and it doesn't matter how you dress it up its CHEATING! And that is not what swinging is actually all about! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No problem here with Fuck buddies.
Our first meet, was with a couple of FB's.
It was a 11am, we were both shitting it!
But they were both really nice and not pushy, we only did soft play, as we both agreed on the soft play role, but its like lot in the swinging world, Your preferences and wants can change from time to time.
If those two FB's weren't so nice we would not be here now.
To the OP, the couple in your story are out of order, If you/we decide to play with someone who takes our fancy at chams, well thats what it is play.
We are not all like that.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do we always have the wedding vows argument brought into this so often. Yes people are here who are married and their partners dont know, yes people have every right to not meet them if they disagree with cheating, but theres no need to spout off the wedding vow argument, you're not the pope.
I was married in church and took traditional vows. I break them when I swing - 'forsaking all others' etc etc.
No I aint the Pope but neither am I the one who chose to take the vows!...the fact is just because the wife is unwell the husband thinks its okay to come on a swinging site and have sex with other women/men and it doesn't matter how you dress it up its CHEATING! And that is not what swinging is actually all about!"
Unwell? This will never change. It has been many years before this, my first venture and no I have not met anyone YET
Who are you to judge me! get off your high horse !!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do we always have the wedding vows argument brought into this so often. Yes people are here who are married and their partners dont know, yes people have every right to not meet them if they disagree with cheating, but theres no need to spout off the wedding vow argument, you're not the pope.
I was married in church and took traditional vows. I break them when I swing - 'forsaking all others' etc etc.
No I aint the Pope but neither am I the one who chose to take the vows!...the fact is just because the wife is unwell the husband thinks its okay to come on a swinging site and have sex with other women/men and it doesn't matter how you dress it up its CHEATING! And that is not what swinging is actually all about!"
And some people would think it disgusting that people open their legs and fuck strangers too dont they?
I dont get moralistic about what others do. I dont care. It has no impact on my life. It is none of my business. If you have no intention of meeting this man, its none of yours either |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to have 2 fbs before i met hubby that i used to partner up with. This was done for my safety as much as their fun. We were never doing any harm and were always up front about it. As said before each to thier own.
Now i just drag my poor bedraggled hubby round with me. the weird thing is we never get asked if we are married |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I must be reading the OP all wrong
I thought a FB was someone you met often for NSA sex not someone you had only met that night !
I am with the lady at the club you were not a couple of FBs you were not even a couple you were two strangers who happened to be in the same room
Apologies if I have misread the situation |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do we always have the wedding vows argument brought into this so often. Yes people are here who are married and their partners dont know, yes people have every right to not meet them if they disagree with cheating, but theres no need to spout off the wedding vow argument, you're not the pope.
I was married in church and took traditional vows. I break them when I swing - 'forsaking all others' etc etc.
No I aint the Pope but neither am I the one who chose to take the vows!...the fact is just because the wife is unwell the husband thinks its okay to come on a swinging site and have sex with other women/men and it doesn't matter how you dress it up its CHEATING! And that is not what swinging is actually all about!
And some people would think it disgusting that people open their legs and fuck strangers too dont they?
I dont get moralistic about what others do. I dont care. It has no impact on my life. It is none of my business. If you have no intention of meeting this man, its none of yours either "
Unless I'm mistaken this a forum and people can air there personal _iews in which you have also done |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"those married guys who cheat are indeed the lowest of the lows fortunately the people we have met have been a nicer class of couple and we have not had a suggestion of a cheating hubby, but as you say we all have our parameters and we are all entitled to our opinions, of the "fuck buddies" we have had contact from (5 in all) every one of them has at least one partner married to others
Are you forming judgements based on examination of circumstance or because there is some rule which says all married men must not cheat?
I am a married man. My wife, who I love, cannot have intimacy due to an operation that went wrong; it's like living with a loved relative.
I have been a few years without intimacy and so far have conformed to the stereotypical 'husband'. But I don't enjoy not holding a woman.
Without going in to detail, my point is I do not believe you can tar all husbands with the same brush.
To be honest, I am shocked such judgemental _iews appear on this site which is where I'd have expected more understanding.
Maybe I am in the wrong place?
But does your wife know you are on here? That is the crux of the matter, if she doesn't know then you are cheating, whatever reason someone is on here and the wife or husband doesn't know, its still cheating
No, my wife does not know. Think it through. Why would I want to rub her nose in something she cannot change or escape from? If I told her she'd feel hurt. I think she suspects but she never asks.
So, let me ask you a question, do you believe you judge me whilst standing on the moral high ground?
Who said I was judging you? And I am not standing on the moral high ground. I made a comment that's all, something I am entitled to do"
Well said we are making comments! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Of course we are both airing our _iews, I am not indicating you shouldnt do so.
Its just that to the outside vanilla world, us swingers are judged. We are classed as easy, disease ridden, with little morals. Now all of us know that is not the case, we all have something in common on here and that is that we enjoy nsa sex and we are comfortable with our sexuality. And its a good thing for all of us.
But I dont think we should then turn on our fellow swingers and come out with really moralistic judgements on their lifestyle that we dont agree with. I accept that some people feel that its wrong for guys to swing when they are married. But their cheating has no impact on me and I wont suffer because of it. And im not really bothered about how their wives feel either. Now that sounds harsh, but I dont know their wives, Im not gonna waste my time thinking of it.
Therefore I may say in a forum post that I wouldnt do it myself or play with guys who are married but that its a decision for them solely to make. But I wouldnt come on all guns blazing saying how disgusting it is, and how the vows are being broken and what a terrible terrible thing it is. Its bad enough others judging us, never mind us doing it to each other. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Slutpuppy,
you are not just making neutral comments though are you. You hold a _iew which lacks any empathy or even enquiry in to a situation.
You are saying what I am doing is wrong.
That's a judgement, not just a comment
I'm walking away from this conversation as it seems pointless trying to reason with the unreasonable (That's me not just makign a comment but expressing a judgement of you)
I wish you well and hope you have lots of fun
Now sod off and leave me alone (;-)
ray |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Slutpuppy,
you are not just making neutral comments though are you. You hold a _iew which lacks any empathy or even enquiry in to a situation.
You are saying what I am doing is wrong.
That's a judgement, not just a comment
I'm walking away from this conversation as it seems pointless trying to reason with the unreasonable (That's me not just makign a comment but expressing a judgement of you)
I wish you well and hope you have lots of fun
Now sod off and leave me alone (;-)
ray "
So what you are saying is its okay for you to make a judgement but not me ....pot kettle |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Of course we are both airing our _iews, I am not indicating you shouldnt do so.
Its just that to the outside vanilla world, us swingers are judged. We are classed as easy, disease ridden, with little morals. Now all of us know that is not the case, we all have something in common on here and that is that we enjoy nsa sex and we are comfortable with our sexuality. And its a good thing for all of us.
But I dont think we should then turn on our fellow swingers and come out with really moralistic judgements on their lifestyle that we dont agree with. I accept that some people feel that its wrong for guys to swing when they are married. But their cheating has no impact on me and I wont suffer because of it. And im not really bothered about how their wives feel either. Now that sounds harsh, but I dont know their wives, Im not gonna waste my time thinking of it.
Therefore I may say in a forum post that I wouldnt do it myself or play with guys who are married but that its a decision for them solely to make. But I wouldnt come on all guns blazing saying how disgusting it is, and how the vows are being broken and what a terrible terrible thing it is. Its bad enough others judging us, never mind us doing it to each other. "
I agree with what you have said but I made a comment early on And then the guy repeatedly commented on what I said ....i have just heard the unwell wife story so many times its getting very boring.Also I didn't come on all guns blazing and as for having a go at a fellow swinger....is that not what you are doing ....seems to me there is a lot of pot n kettle going on here x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Slutpuppy,
you are not just making neutral comments though are you. You hold a _iew which lacks any empathy or even enquiry in to a situation.
You are saying what I am doing is wrong.
That's a judgement, not just a comment
I'm walking away from this conversation as it seems pointless trying to reason with the unreasonable (That's me not just makign a comment but expressing a judgement of you)
I wish you well and hope you have lots of fun
Now sod off and leave me alone (;-)
ray
So what you are saying is its okay for you to make a judgement but not me ....pot kettle "
I made the comment to illustrate when such is a judgement. My judgement is you are unreasonable in this discussion. You may be very reasonable elsewhere, but tonight you have demonstrated an inflexibility that leads me to use the word 'unreasonable'. I see no point in carrying this conversation on as I am not in some artificial argument, this is my real life situation and you presume to have _iews on it without really understanding anything about it.
Let's agree to disagree
I hope you have a wonderful time and meet lots of wonderful people.
Good Night
Ray |
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By *obletonMan
over a year ago
THE STICKS |
"
Just wanted to know people opinions on couples who are just fuck buddies
blah di blah etc"
for a succinct explanation check out my reply to the following thread (it's about 5 posts dowen from the top)
http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/66018 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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sounded like a ggreat big winded argument am glad i wasnt here lol...
skimmed some bits, agree with that bit, maybe another bit, definitely not that bit, and that was out of order, but hey each to there own. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Slutpuppy,
you are not just making neutral comments though are you. You hold a _iew which lacks any empathy or even enquiry in to a situation.
You are saying what I am doing is wrong.
That's a judgement, not just a comment
I'm walking away from this conversation as it seems pointless trying to reason with the unreasonable (That's me not just makign a comment but expressing a judgement of you)
I wish you well and hope you have lots of fun
Now sod off and leave me alone (;-)
ray
So what you are saying is its okay for you to make a judgement but not me ....pot kettle
I made the comment to illustrate when such is a judgement. My judgement is you are unreasonable in this discussion. You may be very reasonable elsewhere, but tonight you have demonstrated an inflexibility that leads me to use the word 'unreasonable'. I see no point in carrying this conversation on as I am not in some artificial argument, this is my real life situation and you presume to have _iews on it without really understanding anything about it.
Let's agree to disagree
I hope you have a wonderful time and meet lots of wonderful people.
Good Night
Ray"
Not so unreasonable so yes let's agree to disagree ...I also feel the need for a cuppa tea now
Xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally we are in the camp of "fuck buddies want their cake and eat it" two we have chatted to openly admit to cheating on their wives!! one even said "my wife would chop my balls off if she knew" not exactly even handed is it?? no we will not meet "fuck buddies" no matter what bull they give us for why they are not a proper item "
Bit judgemental no? I have a "fuck buddy", neither of us are attached but at this point in time neither of us wants the full commitment that comes with a relationship. Doesn't mean I don't enjoy seeing him enjoy himself, doensn't mean I don't care about what's going on in his life, good and bad. We see each other not just for sex but to chill out and enjoy company too. Not bull and not having our cake and eating it - not everyone has the same circumstances. |
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By *obletonMan
over a year ago
THE STICKS |
"How very odd.
Sounds like she needs a good seeing to....ah, yes. You did that already "
good point
NN and her friend are clearly rubbish in the sack for the lady in question to be so uptight after a shag lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Swinging tea parties - how decadant lol
i hope there are M&S selection box then  "
Oh, I would hope so and may be a few of their buffet sandwiches.
If we are going to do this we should do it properly |
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By *reyyaMan
over a year ago
North Yorkshire |
The thread started by Naughty Nympho completely explains why this site is being studied by Sydney University. Another angle to the MF only meets MF scenario is that they must be 'genuine couples' and not just 'couples'. I would suggest pasting your marriage certificate to your forehead and also carry your council tax bill with you to prove you do not get a single person discount. What a laugh... 'Swingers'... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think I would have been inclined to tell the couple where to go, you cannot go blaming others for your own mistakes.
Fuck buddy couples tend to think they are the be all and end all, single but together, non cheating hereos. I know 4 fb couples, every one of them includes a partner who was cheating when they met, honesty here is always served with a big pinch of salt. Not a judgement, just an observation. Merely used as an example, to illustrate, a couple of paragraphs on a profile or forum rarely tell the whole story.
I am a married female who plays alone. The reasons why are not on my profile, I do not feel obliged to publicise the reasons to all and sundry. If you do not like that I am happy for you to walk on by. I do not feel any details within any relationship I have are anyone else's business. We are all the keepers of our own conscience, others should stop worrying about others and stick to worrying about their own! |
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Think the whole point of all this is it depends on the circumstances, there are genuine singles out there that come together for fun, and also not all couples are "married" either, all anyone can post is based on their experiences, we personally will meet couples that are a couple, but prefer not to meet couples that have other partners and come together for fun, but we also believe in "each to their own" |
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You did nothing wrong .... no lies told and they assumed you were a couple ... There mistake......... We will not play with FB's knowingly BUT if that had happened it was our choice and if you all had fun and any boundries respected not problem. If they were that bothered they should have asked ya before jumping in |
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"I must be reading the OP all wrong
I thought a FB was someone you met often for NSA sex not someone you had only met that night !
I am with the lady at the club you were not a couple of FBs you were not even a couple you were two strangers who happened to be in the same room
Apologies if I have misread the situation"
i have a couples membership for my local club so that i can take guests. some of these guests are regular playmates, some are new friends. a lot of single men who have looked into the idea of visiting clubs are discouraged by the attitude towards single men both in swinging in general and in clubs in particular. so i am happy to escort these men on their first visit to help them decide if its for them. its rare that any of my guests will play with anyone other than me, but on occasion we have been approached by couples and once boundaries are established then play can commence...
the attitude i have met from the club management/staff is that they are happy for me to do this, that its not the same as guys who tout for women to use as their entree - hell the membership is mine and i'm the one doing the inviting and i definitely play with my playmates! so i don't feel used and the club is happy so wheres the problem??
not all of us can accommodate so playing at a club can solve lots of issues, and be a fun social evening with like minded people.
as to the complaint that the op had never met her friend before that day - well they were approached during play, they could have been two singles who had met for the first time in the club that evening and decided to play. the woman at the club would have not known that either. i have met guys in clubs, had fun, then sat downstairs for a drink and a chat after and we would have appeared to many people to be a couple...
it seems to me that this is more pernicious than it first seemed. its not about cheating, but about the issue of whether single people can really be proper swingers. this is an accusation which i get levied at me when i turn down mf couples - i'm obviously not a swinger, just someone looking for dates... |
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