FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Soft swing - why?
Soft swing - why?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Been puzzling me for a while. Why soft swing? Is it:
To save something for each other?
To mask the insecurities of one member of the couple?
To offer newbies a step up to full swing?
Any thoughts? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
Its about doing what ever you feel comfortable with
We know a couple who soft swing and they are among the most kinkiest,naughtiest people we know
Swinging does'nt always mean full swap
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"I would say soft swing is fine as an exploratory beginning, insecurities I dont think have anything to do with it, soft can be more erotic than wham bang thankyou mam, you spend more time on the touch, the feel, exploring every nook n cranny, there is no rush to get to the full sex if you know that its not on offer, it can be mind blowing whereas full sex can be so disappointing sometimes.
just as happy to meet soft swingers as we are to meet full swingers, both are great times in there own unique way.
its possible that all they want is someone to share in the foreplay and keep the ultimate for each other and thats fine too, there is no rule book and what someone is comfortable with is their definition of swinging and to be respected and enjoyed.  "
Totally agree - we're happy to meet soft as well and have found it be be very erotic - we're all different and like different things and have varied boundaries - also gives you more choice!!! |
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"Because some folk like that. What works for them works for them and should not be questioned or scoffed at 
nobody has scoffed at it so far, a question has been asked for the op to understand why some people do it. knowledge starts with the phrase "I do not know" then seek the answer. thats all this thread has done so far  "
Well said - lets keep it nice and in perspective - some people could have an argument in an empty room! Live and let live! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"cos we are not ready to find out how we would feel with seeing each other in a full swap situation"
It's your choice huns and you do what's right for you ... we did until we felt ready ... mwah X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Because some folk like that. What works for them works for them and should not be questioned or scoffed at "
Who's scoffing? Think there are some great constructive responses. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We know lots of cpls who do soft swap, most of them are very open minded and not insecure at all.
i do not feel people who chose to save actual penetration for just their own partner are much different than people who chose to save kissing or any other particular activity just for their own partner. It is all about choice, their choice what rules to set themselves, and our choice whether we want to meet someone who has those rules.
Soft swing does not do it for us, we like full swap because we love foreplay , but also love to take it to the next step, and chose not to play in a situation where we could not do that.
Therefore we do not swing with soft swappers but we have no issues with them.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
It's your choice huns and you do what's right for you
thats the plan
Well done grasshopper!"
Confucius say ... man who jumps off cliff, jumps to conclusion |
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By *andKCouple
over a year ago
Norfolk |
We started off as a 'soft' swap couple. Having been married 28 years and never even thought of playing sexually with anyone else. We just didn't know how either of us would react, as much as you think you will be ok with it once you have seen something you cant unsee it so the slowly slowy approach was right for us, we were members of a 'soft' swing site so all the members knew the score. We took it very slowly but by the time we met the right couple we knew we could full swap without any problems - that is 4 years ago now and guess what we are seeing that very same couple this weekend, been friends as well as playmates ever since.
BTW we have been through all the rules thing, started off as long as your arm and your partners too but now we are down to just 2 I/K have to be happy with the situation and safe sex at all times we obviously have preferances but we also like experimenting with the new.
What a great lifestyle this is cos everyone is different but we all want the same thing fun and enjoyment.
Happy swinging
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We see it as a 'toe in the water' for some.
Although there are others who have it as their limit.
It's not our thing - sort of like chewing your food then spitting it out -but each to their own.
XXXX |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd turn your question on it's head and say, "Soft swing, why not?"
It's up to individuals how far they wish to go - we've done both and enjoyed them both equally as well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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hey,
me and my partner are a soft swap couple, have been swinging about 6 month and had a couple of meets which were fantastic, we like to save penetration for each other, we do everything else apart from penetration (unless using a dildo or DE), neither of us are insecure, we just like to think that full on sex is ours to enjoy. Someone once said to us "we don't see the point in swinging, if it's just soft swap" it's all about choice and what you're comfortable with. We have no intentions of going full swap, but still want to enjoy soft swap and have so far.
Dan & Em xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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as a full swap cpl that have played with soft swing cpls, and we really wanted to shag em but respect peoples boundaries,we met and played several times with them,we say if you dont like their prefferences then dont meet them, but dont knock them either...live n let live |
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we are a fully swinging cpl right from the start, but we dont mind soft play,
in club as it can be alot better than full swap im not a wham bam thank you mam so soft play is a lot of exploring each other and i just love that.
but if we are meeting out of clubs then its full swap for us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When ever this subject is raised there is always, as is inferred in the OP's question, a suggestion that soft swing is possibly about one or other partner having insecurity issues.
Been guilty of that assumption before but having revisited my opinion based on lots of thoughtful info posted on similar threads I now am of the mindset that what ever is comfy for you is exactly what you should do.
Those that full swap will often see soft as not an option as it will not fulfil their desires. Nothing wrong with that thought process but it can be a little restrictive and also make fun a bit mechanical as everyone feels they ought to be doing stuff they may not feel inclined to at that time.
We have long term friends, been playing with them for 6 years now. We full swap, MOST of the time but not always as occasionally he will want to fuck his wife or occasionally I will want to fuck mine, it's very situationally dependant. Because of that every encounter is different .
I know this will not work for everyone in the same way that soft swing does not either however our approach is to go with the flow and not worry about what SHOULD be happening |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One of the best nights we EVER had was with a soft swap couple and it was absolutely fantastic.
Don't know why they played soft, none of our business to be honest. I'd recommend giving it a try just once and you may be in for a delightful time xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"hey,
me and my partner are a soft swap couple, have been swinging about 6 month and had a couple of meets which were fantastic, we like to save penetration for each other, we do everything else apart from penetration (unless using a dildo or DE), neither of us are insecure, we just like to think that full on sex is ours to enjoy. Someone once said to us "we don't see the point in swinging, if it's just soft swap" it's all about choice and what you're comfortable with. We have no intentions of going full swap, but still want to enjoy soft swap and have so far.
Dan & Em xx "
Although we're not into soft swing,we see more sense in saving intercourse for each other than kissing.
If your going to hold back something special it may as well be something worthwhile. 
XXXX |
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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
"hey,
me and my partner are a soft swap couple, have been swinging about 6 month and had a couple of meets which were fantastic, we like to save penetration for each other, we do everything else apart from penetration (unless using a dildo or DE), neither of us are insecure, we just like to think that full on sex is ours to enjoy. Someone once said to us "we don't see the point in swinging, if it's just soft swap" it's all about choice and what you're comfortable with. We have no intentions of going full swap, but still want to enjoy soft swap and have so far.
Dan & Em xx
Although we're not into soft swing,we see more sense in saving intercourse for each other than kissing.
If your going to hold back something special it may as well be something worthwhile.
XXXX"
And we are back to slating the non-kissers again.
Nice one!
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NOT
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have always been a soft play couple (penile penatration reserved) and have never had any issues,the peeps we meet either know our boundaries or are told prior to avoid any misconceptions.
To directly answer the OP we feel this is as far as we wish to go, its that 'special bit' reserved for us and only us, (note how I'm not going down the STI route, insecurity, unfaithfulness etc)
We enjoy the scene as we see it, other see it diffently, thats what makes the scene a good place to be.
XXX |
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By *4tCouple
over a year ago
warrington |
"Its about doing what ever you feel comfortable with
We know a couple who soft swing and they are among the most kinkiest,naughtiest people we know
Swinging does'nt always mean full swap
"
we too know a cpl the same or very similar, are they the same peeps lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I must say we prefer soft play as a whole,no insecurities,no protecting one another etc etc,its just we love to see each other getting so worked up by the touch,feel licks,sucks and found we had a much pleasurable time that way,our choice and we make people aware of that..sex is sex and just dont have to be about wham bam ooooooo im a cumming boss!Its all about opinions and turn ons for us,both sides and believe me even without full swap cock in...its better 99.9% time...That 0.1% well,neglegable.lol...
x |
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"we full swap or soft swap
Why ?
because we want to - nuff said - our choice"
We also sometimes choose to soft swap....sometimes we choose we would like full swap and sometimes just "go with the flow" if everyone is happy.It all depends on how we,and the other couple,feel at the time....choice.
We have had just as much sexy erotic fun with soft swing as we have had with full swap.
The main thing is that everyone is relaxed,happy and non pressured.
As a final note,we have been swinging for 6-7 years now and have found that most(not all!!) of the times we have full swapped have been with other couples where we soft swung initially.
Groovytwo.XXXXxxxxXXXX |
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