FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Class system in swinging?

Class system in swinging?

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Reading through a recent thread on here,something that was said got us wondering.

As a couple living on limited means with a somewhat modest lifestyle,some threads and profiles make us think,is there a class system in swinging?

You often see the word "Professional" in profiles,they may also say they "Enjoy a good lifestyle".

Others imply they have a second home abroad and/or will show pics of large homes,flash cars and exotic holiday locations.

Do you sometimes think there's a 'This is what we've got' instead of 'This is who we are' mentality on swinging sites?

Does it put off those living on more modest means contacting those with such profiles?

We know many people are very private or embarrassed about their modest financial status,so this may probably affect the replies.

However it certainly made us wonder and we would be interested in others views.

XXXX

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By *witchy TwigletMan over a year ago

dinnington

we wouldn't get too hung up about it, think that its all about interests more than anything else.... perhaps some people consider it a way of ensuring no lulls in the conversation that can occur when there's only one (obvious!) interest in common?

but who says we can't all have fun... opposites can attract, after all my parents are a welder and a doctor! LOL

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i personally dont give a flying fook wot people have or havent got. its all about the person. and to be honest someone that shows off i would be less likely to want to fly out in my private jet to my villa in the south of france all expenses paid of course....lmfao

on a serious note, you have to take with a pinch of salt what they say coz you only have their word for it that they do indeed have what they say they have

meet ya in the dole queue, am the one doing the full monty dance

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I never invite meets to my home. The burned out car in the front garden that houses my two dogs and occasional kid (gotta have them babysit him there-not allowed indoors) frightens them. Dunno why... perhaps because it was my last meets car?

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By *he Happy ManMan over a year ago

Merseyside

I would tend to agree with you up to a point. I did ask the same sort of question in a post a few weeks ago. Expect this post to become a heated debate lol. I was genuinely asking out of curiosity about why people put professional in their profile and why does it matter if you are professional or not. Just because you have modest means does not mean I thing in my opinion. Yes you may not go on 3 or 4 holidays a year or have 2 BMW’s and a massive house. I am sure you both have a clean house, you are hygienic, you like to have fun, treat people with respect etc and that is what counts not whether you are well off.

There are lots of professional people on Fab who don’t put it in their profile and there are lots who do. Some who put it will be doing so to meet like people who are on the same wavelength so to speak. Some who do it will be doing it to as you say look at me. I certainly would not let the word professional stop you contacting a couple if you think you would both get on well. I am sure some professional couples would be horrified if they thought people who wasn’t so well of as them are a bit dubious about contacting them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago
Forum Mod

We tend to back away from those that can only tell us what car they have how many houses they have or how good their jobs are

We don't care about all that stuff,we're looking for a meeting of minds and bodies and the comment from the Harry Enfield show always comes to mind and makes me giggle and out us off even further

"we are considerably richer than yo"

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By *prite128Woman over a year ago

maidstone

im a professional ( as in i had to pass exams and study for my particular job and can add the letters of the professional body to my name if i wanted to )...but im also a lone parent, living in rented accommodation and not remembering what a holiday actually is ! So such terms can give a false impression anyhow

i dont think i'd be drawn to anyone who talked about lots of material things ...but more because i'd wonder what we had in common rather than their ownership of things. Im not motivated by them, not impressed by them - its people i like and the gems in life come from all corners !

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By *im53Man over a year ago

Boldon

having been a forman in the garage trade

for many years

I got used to the i`m better than you crowd

but oh how they would grovel to get there car fixed on time

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By *ebzStarWoman over a year ago

Notting

Not into material things either, so long as they can drive A car to get there and meet!!!

But if they did have all those added extra's ---like the house in south of France, and wanted to invite me....well...unless the meet went badly - why say no! lol

**waits for inbox to be flooded from people with houses in south of france - or anywhere....heeheeheee**

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I would tend to agree with you up to a point. I did ask the same sort of question in a post a few weeks ago. Expect this post to become a heated debate lol. I was genuinely asking out of curiosity about why people put professional in their profile and why does it matter if you are professional or not. Just because you have modest means does not mean I thing in my opinion. Yes you may not go on 3 or 4 holidays a year or have 2 BMW’s and a massive house. I am sure you both have a clean house, you are hygienic, you like to have fun, treat people with respect etc and that is what counts not whether you are well off.

The "Professional" tag is a pet hate of ours,although its only one example of what we're talking about.

To us, all it implies is that they have a profession......don't we all......from a litter picker to a high court judge?

However,as we never contact people directly with a view to meet it doesn't affect us.

Nor is there any envy on our part about what others have.

Yes it would be nice to be better off financialy but thats not the be and end all.

Having each other and our health means much more,clich'ed though it may seem.

Its just that we noticed an increase in 'materialistic' posts and profiles and wondered if people who do make first contact are affected by it.

XXXX

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"...but im also a lone parent, living in rented accommodation and not remembering what a holiday actually is ! "

Tell us about it,we haven't had a proper holiday in 24 years.

Something else has always cropped up to use the money lol.

The thing is....we also like to make friends but it would be hard to be friends with people with a totaly different lifestyle.

We're also old fashioned and like to pay our own way but theres no way we'd bancrupt ourselves to have fun,just to keep up with the Jones's.

XXXX

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By *he Happy ManMan over a year ago

Merseyside

The "Professional" tag is a pet hate of ours,although its only one example of what we're talking about.

To us, all it implies is that they have a profession......don't we all......from a litter picker to a high court judge?

However,as we never contact people directly with a view to meet it doesn't affect us.

Nor is there any envy on our part about what others have.

Yes it would be nice to be better off financialy but thats not the be and end all.

Having each other and our health means much more,clich'ed though it may seem.

Its just that we noticed an increase in 'materialistic' posts and profiles and wondered if people who do make first contact are affected by it.

XXXX"

I am going to get flamed for this lol. I think when they put professional they not implying they just have a profession I think they are saying they have a good profession such as lawyer, doctor, etc

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

The "Professional" tag is a pet hate of ours,although its only one example of what we're talking about.

To us, all it implies is that they have a profession......don't we all......from a litter picker to a high court judge?

However,as we never contact people directly with a view to meet it doesn't affect us.

Nor is there any envy on our part about what others have.

Yes it would be nice to be better off financialy but thats not the be and end all.

Having each other and our health means much more,clich'ed though it may seem.

Its just that we noticed an increase in 'materialistic' posts and profiles and wondered if people who do make first contact are affected by it.

XXXX

I am going to get flamed for this lol. I think when they put professional they not implying they just have a profession I think they are saying they have a good profession such as lawyer, doctor, etc "

Yeah,we know what they're saying too, we're just being uppity,

However,the days of the bowler hatted,pin striped suited brolly weilding "Professional" are gone.

Having it on their profile is probably just a way of boosting their self esteem.

XXXX

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By *eznhannahCouple over a year ago

leeds

we dont have profesional in our profile but we could be called that, but i (gez) come from a very modest background, and am still happiest in my old local with my old mates in my home town council estate, but we play with any one from any back ground, as long as we find them fun and exciting, wtf has money status got to do with swinging, once we have all paid our 20 quid in to a swinging club and are in towels, we are all the same lol

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By *ibertinesCouple over a year ago

Cupar

Doesnt matter what car you drive when you are strapped to someones bedposts with a lady on each end and someone licking raspberry sauce off your nuts.....

Some of the most selfish people I know are loaded...frankly I wouldnt want to meet people who need to be austentatious (spelling...kinda late).

That said, one of my parents mates is loaded and just wandereds about in oily ripped dungarees fixing Volkswagons to keep himself busy. Takes all sorts.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

surely half the fun of swinging is meeting people you would never ordinarily bump into in the course of your usual activities - lol most of us are old enough to know that happiness is about a state of mind and really whatever money you earn you spend. Therefore shouldnt we for once try to put the undoubtedly entrenched class, geographical and economic differences aside- after all once you all have your wobbly bits out it is somewhat of a leveller lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well....don't matter to me at all.....i have what I have...and anyone who wants to come meet me in my cardboard box down by the docks is more than welcome

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think some folk are reading way too much into this way of life and worrying about whether financial status and compatibility are directly linked is just a little bit paranoid, in my humble opinion

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Some people are very materialistic, and what they have, what they do and who they know seems to be the be all and end all of life and they like to make sure everyone knows about it.

The thing is, the more you have - the more you have to lose if it goes tits up.

We have a modest lifestyle, yes we live in a rented house, but it's our home, it's clean, tidy and well looked after, and we have a nice brand spanking new car sat at the door - now all that means is that were in debt for the next 5 years to pay for it, and sometimes the monthly payment is a struggle and I'd like to bet that the 'professional' with the flash car, flash house etc is in a similar situation, only on a higher level.

So in answer to the OP, maybe in some peoples eyes there is(or they would like to think that there is) a class system but in our eyes there are us 'ordinary' folks and there are those who have their heads so far up their arses that their breath smells of shit.

We prefer the ordianry folks

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By *ensualfire88Man over a year ago

Edinburgh

Swinging is in fact a great leveller - everybody is the same once your naked!

IT gives people the chance to meet and play with others who would normally be outside their social circle, however you want to define that.

Money and posessions are fine, but it doesnt mean you're good looking or fit, or any good in the bedroom.

I think when people put "professional" on their profile what they are trying to say is we'd like to meet people who can hold a conversation rather than we're looking for someone in the same income bracket as us.

One of the most exciting things about being on here is that, when it works, you can have sex with paople - either "above" or "below" you in the scheme of things who you would never normally have met and have a really good time.

Personaly i always look for "people" rather than "stuff" and that goes for the real world as well.

Money and posessions are all very good, but they don't necessarily bring you happiness. But at the same time they don't necessarily mean the people who have them are up themselves.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

of course there is ..

in many ways..

sadly there is a hierarcy..

Bi fem / Bi fem couples..

Str8 couples

a wee bit further down

Bi Couples ... both Bi

then

couples with Str8 fem and Bi guy

Str8 single guys

then the single Bi guy..

then you have some folks who look down at people who go to clubs and doggings..

then you have people who say.. ' we never mail people '.. we are so popular and stunning, everyone mails us..

holidays, second homes are thrown in to impress..

classic discussion last week with a lady abroad.. bless her, she lives abroad .. if it had been Richard Branson's Necker Island ... would have had the wow factor..

the day people forget from where they came... is usually first day of their downfall........

we were all born the same... we will all end up the same.. between both those dates.. kindness , honesty and humility always welcome x

my 2p worth ..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

then you have ..

we never use the chat rooms

we never use the forums...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Years ago I had a conversaton witha woman I worked for who told me: I dont know how you afford sky tv on your wage with 2 kids, my answer Im not keeping up with the Joneses (spelling)

We dont drive, never learnt partly cos we have the aforementioned kids and partly cos we used to live in Edinburgh where you dont need to learn.

We live in rented accom why? well if the roof blows of during the night or the boiler blows up I dont have to worry about the hassles and cost.

We dont have a lot but what we have no one can take away cos it aint on the never never.

I was also told by the same woman the more you have the more you spend. Well she was the one complaining her kids never saw her and her car was about to be driven of by the repo men, me Im just happy to have a sort of pain free day !!

People were talking about holidays well the last one we had was our honeymoon 7 years ago.

but woo hoo we have booked our hols for next year . . . to give me loads of time to save up and spoil the kids for once in their lives.

It has always been that only one of us worked so we saved on childcare (cos that can take almost all the second wage) and now I am classed as disabled and can barely sit here to type this cos of pain.

My family are happy and healthy, the kids might have to wait a bit longer before getting new trainers but they will get them and they might not get the most expensive ones but who cares??

Shona

x x x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

well said Shona..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"well said Shona..

Thank you kind sir

Was reading that back and wasnt sure it read ok

Shona

x x x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well funnily enough im a professional and have letters after my name.

Does it stop me being broke? no cause it don't is it handy for anything? Na cause it ain't

Do I use it to impress? (Na ain't that shallow) if I cant get by by being who I am and not what I am, or what I've got then its time to pack in xx

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By *ensualfire88Man over a year ago

Edinburgh

And another thing - Just because people have a big house, three cars, a villa in spain etc etc, it doesnt necessarily mean they're not common as muck!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And another thing - Just because people have a big house, three cars, a villa in spain etc etc, it doesnt necessarily mean they're not common as muck!"

oi, I have breading ...

or breeding ..

or briiding...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I remember years ago I had to do a talk at school and my mother said just remember the teacher still puts his trousers on one leg at a time the same as us lol worked too I got a good grade

Shona

x x x

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By *ensualfire88Man over a year ago

Edinburgh

"And another thing - Just because people have a big house, three cars, a villa in spain etc etc, it doesnt necessarily mean they're not common as muck!

oi, I have breading ...

or breeding ..

or briiding...

You have Breeding?

You hide it well.

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By *ensualfire88Man over a year ago

Edinburgh

"I remember years ago I had to do a talk at school and my mother said just remember the teacher still puts his trousers on one leg at a time the same as us lol worked too I got a good grade

Shona

x x x "

Or as i always say "It doesnt matter how rich that guy is, he still stands up to piss and sits down to shit".

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And another thing - Just because people have a big house, three cars, a villa in spain etc etc, it doesnt necessarily mean they're not common as muck!

oi, I have breading ...

or breeding ..

or briiding...

don't have 3 cars....but do have 3 pairs of wellies (NO SMUTYY JIBES!!!!)...and they all mucky....does that count???

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple over a year ago

Bolton

Hi,

It actually puts us off when people brag on their profiles - we think they'll be shallow and boring - a sweeping generalisation I know but if you've gotta tell people you use Clinique beauty products on here then what the hell you gonna talk about!

Prefer sexy people with a sence of humour - don't give a toss what they have/haven't got!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi,

Prefer sexy people with a sence of humour - don't give a toss what they have/haven't got!"

I use clarins.. fancy a jump xxx

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple over a year ago

Bolton

"Hi,

Prefer sexy people with a sence of humour - don't give a toss what they have/haven't got!

I use clarins.. fancy a jump xxx

Why not - at least you've got a sense of humour!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I remember years ago I had to do a talk at school and my mother said just remember the teacher still puts his trousers on one leg at a time the same as us lol worked too I got a good grade

Shona

x x x

Or as i always say "It doesnt matter how rich that guy is, he still stands up to piss and sits down to shit"."

I was only 12 at the time so I dont think she wanted to tell me that but a very true sentiment hmm I really need to get a dikshunary but cant Im too poor lol

Shona

x x x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I remember years ago I had to do a talk at school and my mother said just remember the teacher still puts his trousers on one leg at a time the same as us lol worked too I got a good grade

Shona

x x x

Or as i always say "It doesnt matter how rich that guy is, he still stands up to piss and sits down to shit".

I was only 12 at the time so I dont think she wanted to tell me that but a very true sentiment hmm I really need to get a dikshunary but cant Im too poor lol

Shona

x x x "

have a dickshunairy here in my pocket shona....cum get it......no, left a bit....left a bit....aaahhhhhh now ur gettin closer.......

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"have a dickshunairy here in my pocket shona....cum get it......no, left a bit....left a bit....aaahhhhhh now ur gettin closer......."

oohhhhh is that what that is I been sucking them not reading them!! Now I know where I have been going wrong

Shona

x x x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"have a dickshunairy here in my pocket shona....cum get it......no, left a bit....left a bit....aaahhhhhh now ur gettin closer.......

oohhhhh is that what that is I been sucking them not reading them!! Now I know where I have been going wrong

Shona

x x x "

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By *imfromGlasgowMan over a year ago

er...guess

"Hi,

It actually puts us off when people brag on their profiles - we think they'll be shallow and boring - a sweeping generalisation I know .........."

There's nothing wrong with sweeping generalisations when they're accurate and, in this case, you're spot on. It was one of the curses of the 'other' site - pics of hot tubs, motorcycles and so on. Shallow below belief.

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By *eznhannahCouple over a year ago

leeds

this is ust an observation but on this thread people are been applauded for saying how little they have got, while shouting down people who are saying how much they have got, as said earlier we dont have profesional in our profile and are not materialistic in anyway, but cant help feeling there is a fair bit of inverted snobbery here, i guess were we stand is there is nothing with doing well for yourself and having ambition, but not much to be said for shouting about it, but at the same time there is nothing wrong with been from more modest means, but again nothing to be gained from been proud about it,

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

People will always brag about how much they have no matter that they are into, be it swinging or anyother past time.Its not just in swinging circles this happens.

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By *imfromGlasgowMan over a year ago

er...guess

No, we (swingers) aren't the only ones guilty of this but the thread asks "Class system in swinging?"

I suppose it's worth commenting that 'having stuff' is no longer a class issue - possibly quite the reverse as those with class don't have to "brag about how much they have".

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By *he Happy ManMan over a year ago

Merseyside

"this is ust an observation but on this thread people are been applauded for saying how little they have got, while shouting down people who are saying how much they have got, as said earlier we dont have profesional in our profile and are not materialistic in anyway, but cant help feeling there is a fair bit of inverted snobbery here, i guess were we stand is there is nothing with doing well for yourself and having ambition, but not much to be said for shouting about it, but at the same time there is nothing wrong with been from more modest means, but again nothing to be gained from been proud about it,"

I would disagree that people are being applauded for having little. Nor are they pulling people down for doing well or having ambition. The main point people are making is that some (not all) people put the word professional as a look at me and I am better than you. You are a professional but don't feel the need to put it on your profile. Being a professional has bugger all to do with swinging and there is no need to have it on your profile. I am sure some professional people are not putting it on their profile to say look at me I am better than you but there are definitely people who put professional on their profile to say look at me I am better than you.

Maybe they put the word professional on as a subtle way of saying they would only meet other professionals?

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By *imfromGlasgowMan over a year ago

er...guess

".........

Maybe they put the word professional on as a subtle way of saying they would only meet other professionals? "

You may well be right - a sort of 'don't contact us if you don't think you're up to our standard' warning?

As has been pointed out elsewhere it's surprising the number of "professionals" who have difficulty spelling the word.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If there is a class system in swinging we tend to ignore.. (in fact read our current status thing) Not even sure where we sit in this so called class thing.. Were not rich, far from poor as such.. We do ok I suppose.

Point is we tend to go by how people are, not what they have.. we have met poorer people with more so called class in a little finger than so called higher class toffs.. People can be lovely regardless of how much they have..

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By *prite128Woman over a year ago

maidstone

[Removed by poster at 25/08/09 14:51:58]

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By *prite128Woman over a year ago

maidstone

i dont see much of the shouting down / applauding ..was thinking this was one of the more reasonable discussions ive seen on here lol . I guess i was just trying to illustrate that professional may imply an image that is not the correct one anyhow ; that all those sorts of words are subjective .

in the end we go for people we think we'll get along with dont we...whatever criteria we use to help us make that decision.

and i totally agree with the comments above me about using the net ( for any kind of socialising ) puts you in touch with people your day to day life never would have ....and there are some gems out there

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"....and there are some gems out there xx "

Some grit too pmsl...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It doesn't matter one bit to us what people do for a living or what wordly goods they have or don't have. What's important is whether in our eyes, they are nice people that we can get on with and have fun. If however someone is "up themselves" then we have no time for people like that .... As for us, we're just a couple of down to earth welshies

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple over a year ago

Bolton

"It doesn't matter one bit to us what people do for a living or what wordly goods they have or don't have. What's important is whether in our eyes, they are nice people that we can get on with and have fun. If however someone is "up themselves" then we have no time for people like that .... As for us, we're just a couple of down to earth welshies

Couldn't agree more!! Well, apart from the fact that we're not Welsh or course!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Couldn't agree more!! Well, apart from the fact that we're not Welsh or course!"

That's ok huns we'll forgive that

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"having been a forman in the garage trade

for many years

I got used to the i`m better than you crowd

but oh how they would grovel to get there car fixed on time

Snobbery works both ways.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The "Professional" tag is a pet hate of ours,although its only one example of what we're talking about.

To us, all it implies is that they have a profession......don't we all......from a litter picker to a high court judge?

However,as we never contact people directly with a view to meet it doesn't affect us.

Nor is there any envy on our part about what others have.

Yes it would be nice to be better off financialy but thats not the be and end all.

Having each other and our health means much more,clich'ed though it may seem.

Its just that we noticed an increase in 'materialistic' posts and profiles and wondered if people who do make first contact are affected by it.

XXXX

I am going to get flamed for this lol. I think when they put professional they not implying they just have a profession I think they are saying they have a good profession such as lawyer, doctor, etc

Yeah,we know what they're saying too, we're just being uppity,

However,the days of the bowler hatted,pin striped suited brolly weilding "Professional" are gone.

Having it on their profile is probably just a way of boosting their self esteem.

XXXX"

My self esteem doesn't need a boost. For instance I never start a post with a pet niggle about something someone else has and are proud of - just because I haven't got it. To be fair ... I have NEVER asked anyone who messages me what they do for a living.

I AM a professional and im not going to be made to feel ashamed of it. It seems to be a problem for some here but it IS their problem not mine.

I strongly suggest the esteem of others needs boosting.

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By *imfromGlasgowMan over a year ago

er...guess

"..........

I AM a professional and im not going to be made to feel ashamed of it. .......... "

The true mark of that is that you haven't felt obliged to mention that, or your IQ, in your profile

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

P.S. There seems to be some confusion about Professions and Wealth on this thread also. They are NOT always inextricably linked AND while im feeling marley arsed... Professions and 'good breeding' don't always go hand in hand AND there seems to be a religious theme here. As in .....we are poor therefore pure... SNOBS ..

Gran xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago
Forum Mod

Im a poor professional but I won't rub anyones nose in it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Im a poor professional but I won't rub anyones nose in it

Fnarrrr ! Is that you Mother Theresa ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"..........

I AM a professional and im not going to be made to feel ashamed of it. ..........

The true mark of that is that you haven't felt obliged to mention that, or your IQ, in your profile

The 'say' box isn' large enough to get my 'letters' and 'numbers' in Jim

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago
Forum Mod

"Im a poor professional but I won't rub anyones nose in it

Fnarrrr ! Is that you Mother Theresa ?

Floated down from heaven on a cloud to put a post on the forums especially

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By *imfromGlasgowMan over a year ago

er...guess

"..........

I AM a professional and im not going to be made to feel ashamed of it. ..........

The true mark of that is that you haven't felt obliged to mention that, or your IQ, in your profile

The 'say' box isn' large enough to get my 'letters' and 'numbers' in Jim

My sole numerical contribution to the one-up-personship debate would be to list my lowest ever reading on the Glasgow Coma Scale

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm a complete snob; but a very unprofessional one

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By *ensualfire88Man over a year ago

Edinburgh

I'm loaded but strictly amateur.

I'm intelligent but have no qualifications.

Where do i fit in?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago
Forum Mod

"I'm loaded but strictly amateur.

I'm intelligent but have no qualifications.

Where do i fit in?"

I very nearly said something very naughty then but held it back

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

know we are going to get slated for this and it really doesn't apply as much to fab as it does certain other sites but there is the Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee factor that has to be considered.

What we are talking about are very rich and usually very ugly older men with trophy wives.

The problem for us is that we would never dream of playing with a couple if we both didnt find in my case one person and in di's case 2 people. therefore have to say we would be immediately distrustful of profiles with no body or face pics of both parties, especially in exotic locations.

What Di says is that we know why she is sleeping with you but that's no incentive for me lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have to admit though....

I'd love to shag a real snob... I mean a completely unceremonious cold callous absolute filthy degrading get of yer high horse get down and dirty suck my ...............

Yeah... well, theres just no need eh lol.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm loaded but strictly amateur.

I'm intelligent but have no qualifications.

Where do i fit in?"

You fit inta ya socks xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

there's always someone looking their nose down at someone..

we pride on building someone up....

then knocking them down..

it's life and no worth bothering about .

good discussion tho

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The "Professional" tag is a pet hate of ours,although its only one example of what we're talking about.

To us, all it implies is that they have a profession......don't we all......from a litter picker to a high court judge?

However,as we never contact people directly with a view to meet it doesn't affect us.

Nor is there any envy on our part about what others have.

Yes it would be nice to be better off financialy but thats not the be and end all.

Having each other and our health means much more,clich'ed though it may seem.

Its just that we noticed an increase in 'materialistic' posts and profiles and wondered if people who do make first contact are affected by it.

XXXX

I am going to get flamed for this lol. I think when they put professional they not implying they just have a profession I think they are saying they have a good profession such as lawyer, doctor, etc

Yeah,we know what they're saying too, we're just being uppity,

However,the days of the bowler hatted,pin striped suited brolly weilding "Professional" are gone.

Having it on their profile is probably just a way of boosting their self esteem.

XXXX

I AM a professional and im not going to be made to feel ashamed of it. It seems to be a problem for some here but it IS their problem not mine.

I strongly suggest the esteem of others needs boosting. "

rocket up arse time me thinks....you shove it up granny and i will lite the fuse

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By *eznhannahCouple over a year ago

leeds

"know we are going to get slated for this and it really doesn't apply as much to fab as it does certain other sites but there is the Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee factor that has to be considered.

What we are talking about are very rich and usually very ugly older men with trophy wives.

What Di says is that we know why she is sleeping with you but that's no incentive for me lol"

paul daniels debbie mg gee ha ha, have seen loads of them lol, just never thought of putting it that way

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By *acreadCouple over a year ago

central scotland

As mrs Merton said when inerviewing Debbie Magee, What was it that first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I AM a professional and im not going to be made to feel ashamed of it. It seems to be a problem for some here but it IS their problem not mine.

I strongly suggest the esteem of others needs boosting. "

We too are professionals,I dropped out of that chosen career,Trace continued with it.

She's been in that career now for 24 years but still studies for higher grades to cover the newer and varying aspects of it.

However we choose not to put it on our profile because it's of no interest to anyone else nor bares any relevance to swinging.

Hence our "pet niggle" when others do.

Therefore to assume that it's bolstered by the fact that someone has something we don't is just that,an assumption and in this case the wrong one.

Are we proud or ashamed of any professional achievement?

Neither,it was just a necessary evil required to follow that career,nothing more.

In fact it grieves us that we had to mention it now but in respect of the quoted post we feel it had to be said.

So,does our esteem need boosting as you imply.........no,we don't think so.

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By *witchy TwigletMan over a year ago

dinnington

neither of us are professionals, but this does not detract from our own personal achievements.

why get hung up?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

The "Professional" tag seem's to have been blown out of context here and been given too much relevance.

As we said on an eirlier post,it was one example of several.

There have though been some interesting post's on the thread and perhaps a few more to come.

XXXX

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think the post was spot on its amazing how many people try to establish where or how you live or what car you drive very early on in a conversation on here or on MSN

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By *ouvakMan over a year ago

clacton on sea

class is something for schools colledges and universitie's, when we come into this world we all come into it the same ways as every other soul on this planet irrespective of how much or little we are born into, as my grand mother said to me many years ago theres only 2 certainties in life " your born an you'll die" in between you are who you are live with and enjoy it, as for the word proffesional aren't prostitutes proffesionals too? as are anyone who works for what he/she earns ? the one statementy i hate to see in a profile is " looking for a proffesional" be it gent or couple or female, come on get real we are all proffesionals of one sort or the other, what i think those that put this statement in the profile are actually saying is " if you can't afford to wine/dine and hotel me then don't bother because i'm only interested in someone who can afford me" erm isn't that prostitution in a posh form lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"of course there is ..

in many ways..

sadly there is a hierarcy..

Bi fem / Bi fem couples..

Str8 couples

a wee bit further down

Bi Couples ... both Bi

then

couples with Str8 fem and Bi guy

Str8 single guys

then the single Bi guy..

then you have some folks who look down at people who go to clubs and doggings..

then you have people who say.. ' we never mail people '.. we are so popular and stunning, everyone mails us..

holidays, second homes are thrown in to impress..

classic discussion last week with a lady abroad.. bless her, she lives abroad .. if it had been Richard Branson's Necker Island ... would have had the wow factor..

the day people forget from where they came... is usually first day of their downfall........

we were all born the same... we will all end up the same.. between both those dates.. kindness , honesty and humility always welcome x

my 2p worth ..

I think I agree, we have our basic requirements and probably raise an eyebrow at people who dont want to meet us for superficial reasons, but it's absolutely their choice, we're all here for different reasons, indiscriminate sex with strangers may or may not be one of them.

You'll often see on profiles huge lists of requirements eg wont meet larger people/smokers etc, but Im sure lots of well built smokers are lovely folks, but to some they dont tick all the boxes.

We're an inter racial couple, very happy with that and our lifestyle, but some people prefer to meet others of the same race, to us it seems a superficial objection, but to them its obviously something they've given consideration to, so its not for me to form any opinion about them other than they feel more comfortable with racial groups they're familiar with, just as some feel more comfortable meeting professional people etc etc.

We're all here to have occassional adventures that enhance our lives, so being clear about what we want can appear brutal, but personally Im not going to have fun with someone because I feel sorry for them or embarrassed to tell them clearly what Im looking for.

Hope that makes sense! Ginger

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

we have a saying here in scotland....'we are all jock thomsons bairns'....which translated means we r all exactly the same.. flesh and bones blood and guts... nowt else should matter

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The "Professional" tag is a pet hate of ours,although its only one example of what we're talking about.

To us, all it implies is that they have a profession......don't we all......from a litter picker to a high court judge?

However,as we never contact people directly with a view to meet it doesn't affect us.

Nor is there any envy on our part about what others have.

Yes it would be nice to be better off financialy but thats not the be and end all.

Having each other and our health means much more,clich'ed though it may seem.

Its just that we noticed an increase in 'materialistic' posts and profiles and wondered if people who do make first contact are affected by it.

XXXX

I am going to get flamed for this lol. I think when they put professional they not implying they just have a profession I think they are saying they have a good profession such as lawyer, doctor, etc

Yeah,we know what they're saying too, we're just being uppity,

However,the days of the bowler hatted,pin striped suited brolly weilding "Professional" are gone.

Having it on their profile is probably just a way of boosting their self esteem.

XXXX

I AM a professional and im not going to be made to feel ashamed of it. It seems to be a problem for some here but it IS their problem not mine.

I strongly suggest the esteem of others needs boosting.

rocket up arse time me thinks....you shove it up granny and i will lite the fuse"

Okay Chucks..... bend over .... !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

well i was born skint ,, and luckily still have most of it left

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

and just what is a "profesional" ?? ,,, i do my job in a professional manner ,, i might not be a solicitor or a doctor ,, but the job i do i do professionally ,,, but i dont go bragging about it to try and curry favour with " other professionals "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

hey iv wondered that a few times too bein one of lifes little workin class some might say underclass there are times iv felt inadequate too cause i dont have the flash car/home/so forth but bein a non materilistic person and a happy one is better than bein a loaded miserable unfulfilled one! ps i think a lot of people just put this stuff on to boost themselfs up iv been "chattin" to a wide variety of " professionals who have expanded the truth! if i like the person and they meet the criteria wealth is not an issue not a shallow person!! xxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

my ex was a so named 'professional' ie an architect, and we found that many many people wanted to be friends and socialise with us just so they could get work done cheap..... usually those with the most material wealth were first in the queue to ask!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"hey iv wondered that a few times too bein one of lifes little workin class some might say underclass there are times iv felt inadequate too cause i dont have the flash car/home/so forth but bein a non materilistic person and a happy one is better than bein a loaded miserable unfulfilled one! ps i think a lot of people just put this stuff on to boost themselfs up iv been "chattin" to a wide variety of " professionals who have expanded the truth! if i like the person and they meet the criteria wealth is not an issue not a shallow person!! xxx

But what if they, as the few folk we have met who fall into the loaded category, are in fact extremly happy and totally fullfiled

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"my ex was a so named 'professional' ie an architect, and we found that many many people wanted to be friends and socialise with us just so they could get work done cheap..... usually those with the most material wealth were first in the queue to ask!

iv found that too lol but as humans i suppose its in our nature to try and get somethin for nothin or discounted i was a rep for a high street sexy knickers shop and never had as many friends as when i was clearin my old display stock lol xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

But what if they, as the few folk we have met who fall into the loaded category, are in fact extremly happy and totally fullfiled

think you are bein selective on what bits you pickin up on hit a nerve?? my point is the people who are making up the stuff to make themselves appear more interestin??

ps one of my buddies owns a company (engineering) another architect another import/export and i treat them the same as i treat the guy who is a student and the guy who is a taxi driver

dont be fooled by "classless" society it happens in every aspect of life...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

But what if they, as the few folk we have met who fall into the loaded category, are in fact extremly happy and totally fullfiled

"
........im loaded happy and fullfiled..............but i aint got wads of cash ......i aint got a flash car (i cant drive)or house

..........but i am loaded with lovee from my hubby and my children

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

But what if they, as the few folk we have met who fall into the loaded category, are in fact extremly happy and totally fullfiled

........im loaded happy and fullfiled..............but i aint got wads of cash ......i aint got a flash car (i cant drive)or house

..........but i am loaded with lovee from my hubby and my children

and thats the best kind of rich life u can have!! xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

But what if they, as the few folk we have met who fall into the loaded category, are in fact extremly happy and totally fullfiled

think you are bein selective on what bits you pickin up on hit a nerve?? my point is the people who are making up the stuff to make themselves appear more interestin??

ps one of my buddies owns a company (engineering) another architect another import/export and i treat them the same as i treat the guy who is a student and the guy who is a taxi driver

dont be fooled by "classless" society it happens in every aspect of life...

But surely if you treat them all the same there is no class in society

Or are you saying that the engineer and the architect are some how superior to the student and the taxi driver, your distinction not mine

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"........im loaded happy and fullfiled..............but i aint got wads of cash ......i aint got a flash car (i cant drive)or house

..........but i am loaded with lovee from my hubby and my children

and thats the best kind of rich life u can have!! xx

But what if you had all of the above and a huge pot of money to go with it, would that not make even better

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

again you pickin up on what you want to select and not the main arguement or discussion! me personally i dont care what position they are as long as at some point it includes me bein horizontal and my point bein i see them the same regardless of what their occupation is non discrimination equal opportunities

each person on thier own merit i think you make a great politician if you not already

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"........im loaded happy and fullfiled..............but i aint got wads of cash ......i aint got a flash car (i cant drive)or house

..........but i am loaded with lovee from my hubby and my children

and thats the best kind of rich life u can have!! xx

But what if you had all of the above and a huge pot of money to go with it, would that not make even better

"
well if i won the lottery then yeah but until that happens im happy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/08/09 14:19:00]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"again you pickin up on what you want to select and not the main arguement or discussion! me personally i dont care what position they are as long as at some point it includes me bein horizontal and my point bein i see them the same regardless of what their occupation is non discrimination equal opportunities

each person on thier own merit i think you make a great politician if you not already

No politician here for sure but still trying to get my head round the notion which several posers allude to that somehow having a few bob is a bad thing.

Even worse than that is the thought that by being lucky enough to have a few bob you have to worry that god forbid it should come up in conversation as accusations

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

hey kudos to anyone that has it especially during the difficult financial period that we in! if it arises in conversation well thats fair enough but to use it before you even know people of course its going to be seen as bragging! its people who make it up to impress people that i just dont understand?

and the snobbery and arrogance of some people shows without them saying....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well I for one am totally fed up with people putting their height on their profile!

Does it just make them feel superior to be tall?

I suspect they put their height so that vertically challenged people such as myself ( and im not the worst - won't contact them as im not up to their standard )

What the hell has height got to do with swinging ? After all ... aren't we all the same height lying down, bending over backwards , squatting on faces or hanging?

I'm just going to ignore it.

My kids love me and the dog loves me and what I lack in inches I make up for in Lurrrrrve. And no it doesn't effect my self esteem. I've thrown out all my heels to prove it. I just thought I'd post about it out of the blue....cos it wasn't on my mind like ....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

lol!!!!!!!!!! fantastic xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Well I for one am totally fed up with people putting their height on their profile!

Does it just make them feel superior to be tall?

I suspect they put their height so that vertically challenged people such as myself ( and im not the worst - won't contact them as im not up to their standard )

What the hell has height got to do with swinging ? After all ... aren't we all the same height lying down, bending over backwards , squatting on faces or hanging?

I'm just going to ignore it.

Whilst not the serial profile studying type I have yet to find a profile on here where someone boasts they live in a big house, own a flash car and have "loads a money", I guess they must be out there, hence this thread but not found one as of yet

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

keep looking then there a few ........also try active reading

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just had a thought as it is a swinging site - could proffessional imply that they are escorts or prostitutes - the misinterpretation of the English Language is an apt and beautiful thing.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

indeed it could!! bet that post will start another ding dong lol xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"keep looking then there a few ........also try active reading

Maybe it's just the sort of company we look to keep

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

personal choice is always paramount and people can always put on an appearance im thinkin hycianth bucket and lady chaterly there was a bird who liked a bit of rough lol everyone has their own taste and own idea of suitable company i would rather see someone character and spirit than material goods and thats my choice!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I am a professional but do not put it on my profile. However, i do not have an issue with other people putting it on their own profiles, and it certainly would not put me off them, or make me think they were pretentious in any way.

People say it is not just about sex, it is about the social side as well, so maybe people who put that they are professional are trying to find others who have as much in common with them as possible, so as to pursue a deeper friendship.

Yes i KNOW people from all different classes and social situations can be friends, but i will go against the grain here and state that in MY personal experience, most of my friends are also in professional jobs ( the majority of them in a similar job to myself) and are middle class like ourselves.

This is not because we avoid working class people – far from it, but i guess from some of the views expressed in this thread, some people will avoid us, as we are probably vulgar enough to occasionally slip up on mentioning jobs, home, holidays, hobbies or whatever else in conversation.

There does seem to be some inverted snobbery here, it is ok for people to brag that they have nothing, but if people show any kind of pride in what they HAVE got ( and in most cases, have worked damn hard for) then they are being full of themselves.

I would never deride someone for what they have or have not got, and if we liked the look of someone - we would happily go to see them whether they lived in a council flat or a country pile.

I also want to clear up some misunderstanding, being professional does not mean we are loaded, we are far from it, and actually have to make sacrifices for things we want – just like everyone else!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And i forgot to add, even if it DID mean we were loaded, so what?

Should people be ashamed at having money? Should they have to hide it or apologise for it?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And i forgot to add, even if it DID mean we were loaded, so what?

Should people be ashamed at having money? Should they have to hide it or apologise for it?

not bragging about it always a good start!! it shouldnt matter what people have or have not its the person/s this subject has certainly raged on to a great debate! no one should need to apologise for what they have or dont have in any aspect of life (as a few of my meets have been told when iv ran out of milk for the tea!) shallow people will always exist as will braggards and inverted snobs and every other character x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And i forgot to add, even if it DID mean we were loaded, so what?

Should people be ashamed at having money? Should they have to hide it or apologise for it?

Sadly, something that has been very evident in here so far

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

you can't buy class..

you only have to read profiles where they say they have this or have that ..

or they don't have this or dont have that..

then you watch their written behaviour in chat or forum, and/or observe at socials and you can establish behavioural patterns that help form an opinion .... but it will always be just that ... an opinion.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"you can't buy class..

you only have to read profiles where they say they have this or have that ..

or they don't have this or dont have that..

Apso feckin lutely

We have long term friends that are as rich as rich things but to meet them you would never in a million years guess it. We have a really good idea of what they are worth as we have known them for several years but someone meeting them for the first time would simply never guess.

They know we are pig sick with envy of their life style but they also know that we do not begrudge them a single penny of their wealth, an attitude some in here would do well to adopt

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

everyone got their opinion on this subject and there can be no right or wrong answer x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And i forgot to add, even if it DID mean we were loaded, so what?

Should people be ashamed at having money? Should they have to hide it or apologise for it?

But people obviously have different views on what bragging is.

Take for instance a post near the top of this thread, i can not remember what it says word for word, but the general gist of it is that some peoples ( bragging) profiles show pictures that have las cars, exotic holidays and so on.

Let us imagine Joe and Jane blogs go out dogging in their much 15 year old astra and take some pics of Jane lay over the bonnet of the car. They then go on their annual holiday to Blackpool and have a lovely time, they take lots of pics of each other on the grey sand with the sewage floating past them ( i am joking before anyone accuses me of being a snob!) .

They then register on Fab and use some of these recent pictures.

Perfectly fine.

Mr and Joe and Jane smith also love dogging, they even go to the exact same dogging spot as the Bloggs.

The smiths both have reasonably well paid jobs, and so after years of saving they have finally managed to buy the car of their dreams.

They too decide to take some pics, and just like the Bloggs, end up with some of jane draped over the car.

They have quite stressful, professional jobs and so REALLY look forward to their annual holiday. They scrimped and scraped for years whilst they were getting their qualifications, and so now feel they deserve to treat themselves to a holiday in an exotic location.

This holiday has been looked forward to so much that they take loads of pics of each other on the white sand beach with the turquoise water in the background.

When they get home they register on Fab, needing some recent and appropriate pictures of themselves they use some of these.

According to some people this is them boasting about what they have got!

The first couple would just be thought of as showing themselves in their normal life, where as according to some, the second couple would be trying to show what they have.

How is that not judgemental?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"everyone got their opinion on this subject and there can be no right or wrong answer x

Yes there can, rid the country of the Great British tradition of envy and the problem simply disappears, voilà

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"everyone got their opinion on this subject and there can be no right or wrong answer x

Yes there can, rid the country of the Great British tradition of envy and the problem simply disappears, voilà

how i wish there was a clapping hand icon on here!

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By *4tCouple over a year ago

warrington

[Removed by poster at 27/08/09 12:09:24]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

maybe a few should concider that being a professional can also mean that we work in the proffesional field that has to be extremely careful about who and when we meet........ as most ppl ask for pics as we do, adding proffessional to our profile does tend to attract the same who understand our situation regarding discretion. we in no way undermind any other peeps on here and have met some very nice ppl. maybe some ppl worry a little too much about the odd word than finding out how nice the ppl infact are......... takes all sorts and we certainly give everyone the same chance even the guys....... too many are quick to put everyone in the same box..... try to be nice and you just never know it maybe returned...have fun all xx

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By *dinburgh_duoCouple over a year ago

edinburgh

"you can't buy class..

you only have to read profiles where they say they have this or have that ..

or they don't have this or dont have that..

Well said Garry!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Glad to see that there are now more balanced points coming through on this thread.

I have trouble with why the issue was raised in the first place. It's of no importance what people put in their profiles beyond you deciding whether you will contact them or not.

A little self reflection doesn't go amiss. If something irritates you YOUR contribution to being irritated DOES count.

I do sometimes ask myself why I won't respond to those who say they are 'looking for an older woman' I could be missing out on someone wonderful ... but .. it's the kiss of death to me.

View........ I want you to have my babies.

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By *ichNjudyCouple over a year ago

stoke on trent

arn't most if not all of you misusing the word here?

professional by definition means -

participating for gain or livelihood in an activity or field of endeavor.

So for instance a professional boxer gets paid for it, where as an opposite an amateur (o we could say hobbyist) does not

If I do a bit of plumbing that is d.i.y. If a plumber does it in the line of his work he is a professional. Simples huh?

xxxx

j&r

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"arn't most if not all of you misusing the word here?

professional by definition means -

participating for gain or livelihood in an activity or field of endeavor.

So for instance a professional boxer gets paid for it, where as an opposite an amateur (o we could say hobbyist) does not

If I do a bit of plumbing that is d.i.y. If a plumber does it in the line of his work he is a professional. Simples huh?

xxxx

j&r"

You are correct, up to a point.

As an adjective it is indeed used in that way.

However it is also a noun , and can be defined as

“a person who belongs to one of the professions, esp. one of the learned professions”

simples huh?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

headache time again ,,, if ya do a job and get paid ,,, its ya profession ,, simple

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/08/09 01:05:10]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/08/09 01:05:17]

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By *isterPepperMan over a year ago

Central Swindon

Mickey & Minnie, richest, and possibly friendliest swingers you could hope to meet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8iK12baYFM

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

having a profession doesnt mean your profesional at it.......... just a thought heheheh xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

iv a "professional" job but dont see myself as professional own self image i suppose cause i dont see how my job is relevant to this as its my private life although i dont know where i would stand if it was made open and if it would effect my employment as i have a professional code of conduct hmmmm the drama deepens!!

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By *eviousLiasonsCouple over a year ago

Travelling

First class swingers = turn up

Second class swingers = no show

simples!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"First class swingers = turn up

Second class swingers = no show

simples!"

noooooo, everyone knows it is...

First class swingers = bring own condoms

Second class swingers = use all yours up

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By *ichNjudyCouple over a year ago

stoke on trent

So what actually is a professional couple then? Do they get paid a wage to stay together, rather than just doing it as a hobby or for emotional reasons or whatever?

xxxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"First class swingers = turn up

Second class swingers = no show

simples!

noooooo, everyone knows it is...

First class swingers = bring own condoms

Second class swingers = use all yours up

Thats just a nasty rumour lol...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago