FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Have you ever tried avoiding a couple... because they are jus too beautiful...
Have you ever tried avoiding a couple... because they are jus too beautiful...
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... both of them...
There’s a couple on another site (checked they’ve not here) and they are just so beautiful / sexy... and they want to meet-up... asked several times over the years....
But... if we did meet we’re so scared we’d fall short of their expectations..
Has anyone else felt like this?
Answers on a postcard please... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yep....been a few times where we've kept a distance (whether they've approached first or not) if we've felt "we're out of their league". So you're not alone lol. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Go and meet them! I've always been pleasantly surprised most couples, even those who are stunning and hot in their pics are down to earth and just want a connection with like minded people. |
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We chatted to a couple that we were really getting on with, great conversation on WhatsApp, shared some pictures etc. With a view to some FF and same room fun.
We were looking to arrange a meet (our lives are pretty crazy so that can be a pain sometimes anyway) and they wanted to arrange a meet about 6 weeks out.
They then moved it a bit more, and again, but were really keen on talking to us, had some video chats and the girls spoke on the phone. Eventually things slowed down, we have some other play friends and meets.
Husband called and spoke to us on the side one day, apologised that it wasn’t because of us but that his wife that we really wanted to play with felt that she would disappoint next to L. And had actually enrolled in a gym and been working out in anticipation of a meet, but could never get happy with her body.
Clearly there must have been some other insecurities there. But for real, we really wanted to meet them, and the poor lady talked herself out of it.
Go and meet, worst case you have a social that leads to nothing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Absolutely not. I don't believe in leagues. Who are you to decide what their type is? They obviously like you so go for it.
My regular meet/bf is absolutely gorgeous. If we're talking leagues I would easily say he's way above mine. But he wants me. He says he doesn't want anyone else but me so who am I to argue that. If I hadn't met him in the first place I would always be wondering what if and wouldn't be in this wonderful place I'm at now, having the best sex of my life. |
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Yes all the time.
Missed a whole night but because the guestlist was full of these very sexy, very athletic people that I felt I couldnt compare with my mum tum and stretch marks.
I know alot of it all about confidence though.
I love my body but it's silly things like bruises, spots and ingrowns that make me paranoid. Like I'm clean, I like to think fairly attractive and look after myself but I have normal skin issues that some people just dont understand how hard it is to live with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes I have felt that too many times
I have got so close to meeting people but backed away because I feel like that
And a fair few of my friends have said the same over the years too "
There's no reason you should ever feel like that, you're a 10/10  |
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"... both of them...
There’s a couple on another site (checked they’ve not here) and they are just so beautiful / sexy... and they want to meet-up... asked several times over the years....
But... if we did meet we’re so scared we’d fall short of their expectations..
Has anyone else felt like this?
Answers on a postcard please..."
How do you know what their expectations are?
We've never felt that way, if someone says they want to meet us we take it at face value.
As I've said to other people who say this, are you saying that the people you have met are in a lower "league" too?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"... both of them...
There’s a couple on another site (checked they’ve not here) and they are just so beautiful / sexy... and they want to meet-up... asked several times over the years....
But... if we did meet we’re so scared we’d fall short of their expectations..
Has anyone else felt like this?
Answers on a postcard please..."
nope if they Want me I'll consider it  |
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"Yes I have felt that too many times
I have got so close to meeting people but backed away because I feel like that
And a fair few of my friends have said the same over the years too
There's no reason you should ever feel like that, you're a 10/10 "
Ah that’s the thing tho , everyone has their demons and insecurities
It’s quite common for people to feel like it  |
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
London (till 19th May) |
Look at it another way, if you meet them and fall short of their expectations then you at least know where as at the moment there will always be an element of what if.
Meet them you never know. |
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"Yes I have felt that too many times
I have got so close to meeting people but backed away because I feel like that
And a fair few of my friends have said the same over the years too
There's no reason you should ever feel like that, you're a 10/10
Ah that’s the thing tho , everyone has their demons and insecurities
It’s quite common for people to feel like it "
It does seem that way. I understand that we all have insecurities but it must make the people who the ops of these threads have met feel a bit |
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"... both of them...
There’s a couple on another site (checked they’ve not here) and they are just so beautiful / sexy... and they want to meet-up... asked several times over the years....
But... if we did meet we’re so scared we’d fall short of their expectations..
Has anyone else felt like this?
Answers on a postcard please..."
Omg hell no, fill your boots !!
At some point they'll give up asking and then you'll both be 93 years old reminiscing about the opportunity you turned down |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes I have felt that too many times
I have got so close to meeting people but backed away because I feel like that
And a fair few of my friends have said the same over the years too
There's no reason you should ever feel like that, you're a 10/10
Ah that’s the thing tho , everyone has their demons and insecurities
It’s quite common for people to feel like it "
I hear what you're saying. I had a beautiful lady drop in my tinder box last night ( wouldn't look out of place in a Hollywood film).. I haven't messaged her though, thought I'd give her time to delete the match  |
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Yes, God yes, all the time.
I don’t know if it’s more common for females, but I’m the male half of the couple and I quite often feel almost intimidated when I look at the pictures of other couples, especially the men.
It’s strange for me because until joining Fab (quite recently) I would have said that I was a pretty confident guy; I know I’m overweight, but in real life I suppose I’ve always thought that my personality would make up for it, but here I’m totally lacking confidence. |
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"... both of them...
There’s a couple on another site (checked they’ve not here) and they are just so beautiful / sexy... and they want to meet-up... asked several times over the years....
But... if we did meet we’re so scared we’d fall short of their expectations..
Has anyone else felt like this?
Answers on a postcard please..."
Oh so so many times!!! He doesn't feel like that though - just me ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We’ve just experienced this for the first time!! Wasn’t necessarily expecting to but then couldn’t ignore the feeling. Fortunately we were both equally intimidated by our counterparts so it was an easy decision just to stay away.  |
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By *osexyCouple
over a year ago
ST AUSTELL |
We try and be realistic and often it’s the age difference as much as the beauty. We don’t want to meet people and get knocked back so consequently we are a little cautious of people we feel might be “out of of league” so to speak . Most people have their insecurities so I think it’s quite normal. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sounds like you are their type but you don't know it! You have nothing to lose, I got given this advice myself and I'm still meeting said person and I am well and truly punching above my weight have fun! |
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Life's too short....chat with and meet who you want too....no point on getting hung up on something when it hasn't happened. Nothing to be frightened of...fear=false evidence appearing real. Relax and enjoy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We try and be realistic and often it’s the age difference as much as the beauty. We don’t want to meet people and get knocked back so consequently we are a little cautious of people we feel might be “out of of league” so to speak . Most people have their insecurities so I think it’s quite normal. "
Not just us then, look at pics and think wow but what would they think of us lol
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Absolutely. However recently I met a woman at a female social who I'd fancied on here for ages. I was a little 'fab struck' meeting her in the flesh as she was even more gorgeous so I was very pleasantly surprised when she showed interest in me. I was so nervous whether to go for it as she was mature, absolutely stunning, so confident and I was worried I wouldn't be enough but we've met twice now and have had some incredible, hot, horny girly time 
It doesn't mean I'd be more confident in future though lol I'd approach it exactly the same. I guess it's just me being a typical over thinking (maybe slightly insecure) female lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We try and be realistic and often it’s the age difference as much as the beauty. We don’t want to meet people and get knocked back so consequently we are a little cautious of people we feel might be “out of of league” so to speak . Most people have their insecurities so I think it’s quite normal. "
We often struggle with being on the other side of this. Our preference is definitely older couples. We just prefer people, who normally, are twice our age. However they don't seem to approach us and we've had a few messages to say we couldn't possibly be interested in them as they aren't young like us but that isn't at all true. However I completely understand why they feel this way. We just don't find people our own age attractive normally. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Over the years I had men wanting me when they could have anybody else and I thought I was way out of their league. I've given up on such thoughts now. If they want you and you want them - go for it. You can't get in other people heads to find out what their likes are. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"... both of them...
There’s a couple on another site (checked they’ve not here) and they are just so beautiful / sexy... and they want to meet-up... asked several times over the years....
But... if we did meet we’re so scared we’d fall short of their expectations..
Has anyone else felt like this?
Answers on a postcard please..."
What's the other site? Just curious! |
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"Yes often as a single guy, the fear of rejection by someone so perfect and desirable. Yet in your case you look damn tasty so go for it !, you only live twice..."
So the people you do approach are...? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes often as a single guy, the fear of rejection by someone so perfect and desirable. Yet in your case you look damn tasty so go for it !, you only live twice...
So the people you do approach are...? "
We never try it on with people outside our abilities. People who look like models are rarely going to slum it with us and as most people here have a very clear preference they are attached to, we would rather not feel compared to impossible standards.
And to answer the above question. No-one, we approach no-one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get this to an extent . I look at verifications and if the people they have met previously are people I deem super hot I wouldn't feel able to live up to expectations |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We try and be realistic and often it’s the age difference as much as the beauty. We don’t want to meet people and get knocked back so consequently we are a little cautious of people we feel might be “out of of league” so to speak . Most people have their insecurities so I think it’s quite normal.
We often struggle with being on the other side of this. Our preference is definitely older couples. We just prefer people, who normally, are twice our age. However they don't seem to approach us and we've had a few messages to say we couldn't possibly be interested in them as they aren't young like us but that isn't at all true. However I completely understand why they feel this way. We just don't find people our own age attractive normally. "
Yep if you approached us we’d think it was a wind up!!! |
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"Yes all the time.
Missed a whole night but because the guestlist was full of these very sexy, very athletic people that I felt I couldnt compare with my mum tum and stretch marks.
I know alot of it all about confidence though.
I love my body but it's silly things like bruises, spots and ingrowns that make me paranoid. Like I'm clean, I like to think fairly attractive and look after myself but I have normal skin issues that some people just dont understand how hard it is to live with."
I've just done exactly the same! Guest list for a party was insane.. beautiful women with perfect bodies. There is no way that I would have felt comfortable. As you said, mum tum and all that....
I would rather not put myself through that.. while I'm confident in most situations, that was something I just couldn't do. |
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To be honest, although I don’t believe I ‘punch above my own weight’ I don’t usually contact couples that both look really awesome cos they will simply say something like ‘no Steve we like men 15 years younger with defined muscles and a big cock’ and despite my desperate ‘return message’ photoshopping, it’s a no-no |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh god take a look at how collectively broken we all are
It's not collective, we don't have these issues.
"
No. Me neither. Non broken person here too!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry guys from a cognitive distortion we kinda are.
If we can't approach people because we think they are too pretty then we are perceiving a value system that may not apply to our subjects. Therapists may be pains in the ass when it comes to cutting through the shit but like it or not. A triangle is a triangle no matter how you look at it. |
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"Sorry guys from a cognitive distortion we kinda are.
If we can't approach people because we think they are too pretty then we are perceiving a value system that may not apply to our subjects. Therapists may be pains in the ass when it comes to cutting through the shit but like it or not. A triangle is a triangle no matter how you look at it. "
But there are 7 types of triangles and we’re more obtuse than most of the others.
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"Sorry guys from a cognitive distortion we kinda are.
If we can't approach people because we think they are too pretty then we are perceiving a value system that may not apply to our subjects. Therapists may be pains in the ass when it comes to cutting through the shit but like it or not. A triangle is a triangle no matter how you look at it.
But there are 7 types of triangles and we’re more obtuse than most of the others.
"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"... both of them...
There’s a couple on another site (checked they’ve not here) and they are just so beautiful / sexy... and they want to meet-up... asked several times over the years....
But... if we did meet we’re so scared we’d fall short of their expectations..
Has anyone else felt like this?
Answers on a postcard please..."
All the time, and not just couples! |
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I do too, to the extent I have my ‘worst’ pic as my profile pic. Anyone who clicks beyond that might at least be interested in a big bum, mum tum and stretch marks. But I’ve definitely avoided meets with very hot couples because of how I feel about my own looks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This thread reminds me of the poem, Masks, by Shel Silverstein:
She had blue skin,
And so did he.
He kept it hid
And so did she.
They searched for blue
Their whole life through.
Then passed right by–
And never knew.
Moral of the story: allow others to see the beauty in you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry guys from a cognitive distortion we kinda are.
If we can't approach people because we think they are too pretty then we are perceiving a value system that may not apply to our subjects. Therapists may be pains in the ass when it comes to cutting through the shit but like it or not. A triangle is a triangle no matter how you look at it.
But there are 7 types of triangles and we’re more obtuse than most of the others.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You lot must be fantastic photographers because you all look hot but say you are not! Look at my pics then you'll see. Just had one big muscly guy who really wants me but I said no because it must be a wind-up - Bt |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"... both of them...
There’s a couple on another site (checked they’ve not here) and they are just so beautiful / sexy... and they want to meet-up... asked several times over the years....
But... if we did meet we’re so scared we’d fall short of their expectations..
Has anyone else felt like this?
Answers on a postcard please..."
I have. Both so gorgeous slim and tall and much younger. Just felt we were not to their standard. If we met at a club I think I would feel ok, less pressure but they wanted to meet up for drinks privately.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think everyone has a moment of thought where they feel a couple or a person is out of their league.
I’ve met average normal people who are absolutely stunning the second you speak to them. And beautiful to look at people who have been as dull as dishwater when meeting and speaking.
I firmly put myself into the “normal non special camp” and just go on the basis that if someone connects with me on the same wave length regardless of aesthetics then I’m all good.
But there are some that are beautiful with fab personalities that I would love to meet yet feel completely tongue tied and awkward incase someone feels they are taking one for the team.
You can’t change who you are - just like who you are I guess! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Id just meet them.Alot of pics are photoshopped to kingdom come these days and if you meet them in person they may be a lot more down to earth and 'normal' than you might imagine. |
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