FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Singles on here:- You have had 3sums with cpls would you do the same with your partner?
Singles on here:- You have had 3sums with cpls would you do the same with your partner?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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haha we ended the session pretty quickly after that. He was not being nasty or anything, I think it was more of a passing comment. Just curious as to whether most single people who join couples for fun feel the same way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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personally i'd be ecstatic if my other half decided she wanted to join in with me and have 3sums 4sums and moresums but unfortunately she won't no matter how much i try  i don't see how you can swing and join other people for 3sums but not expect to share your other half (if they wanted to) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've heard that comment to from single guys, it's really hypocritical"
Probably more do do with why they're on here in the first place - i.e. can't get a partner themselves to swing with or find single girls interested in meeting them alone either - so see couples as a means to an end! Or am I being cynical?
Then there's those of us who just enjoy our fun with more than one person at once and appreciate couples who think likewise!  |
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He sounds very insecure and inmature. Probably the kind of guy who would swing behind his girlfriend/wifes back, but throw a right wobbler if she did the same. Swinging is a healthy past time and in my experience strengthens relationships, not breaks them.I would only ever have a partner who loves to swing.  |
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It just shows the underlying 'use a slag' mentality..... and had it been said to me, he'd have been out the door with his cock in his hand.... though I am not sure whether it would be attached or not.
But let's be fair.... some women make similar comments.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If your on here and into swinging why would you want a partner who is not!? That just makes no sense to me.
My wife is not into swinging and I soooooo wish she was. Despite the fact that she is happy for me to play at the back of the head there is always that lil guilt voice nattering away. |
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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
I've also heard it from plenty of women....
"When I find a bloke..... we're not swinging cus I couldn't cope with watching him shag someone else"
The men, in my opinion, don't say it through jealousy but through some neanderthal notion that swinging women are slags.
I've heard it too many times to care....... As soon as a bloke says it...... We're gone! |
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I started out on Fab as a single playing with single guys. After the first year I started playing with couples and fairly quickly with larger groups. Met my partner almost two years ago...now happily swinging together as a couple although we both will swing separately occasionally (doesn't happen very often to be honest). Any guy/girl who made that sort of comment would be given a wide berth by us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been really surprised to hear this statement on more than one occassion, even as a single here myself it did make me wonder what they actually thought of me.
The ones who really get my goat are guys who seem surprised to have met 'some really nice women though' ...like, what did they expect?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I could see myself doing this with the right partner, but the right 'life partner' and the right partner for doing this with may or may not turn out to be the same person, imho.
Never say never, after all my exhibitionist streak never goes away completely.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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have asked my hubby if he would like to get involved in meeting people on here lots of times, but he isnt interested. some men do think its odd that he lets me see other men. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We love what we do and to be honest feel that it makes us much stronger. I love my partner implicitly and know the feeling is mutual. I can understand if someone has insecurities but surely if trying to fulfil some need or fantasy then it ought to be two way. Funnily enough from an earlier post re this subject it is strange, I am opening a can of worms and I apologise in advance, but is strange why some not all just a minority of people seem to think that women on this site are other than nice normal loving caring people, who just want to add spice to their lives. Not as sometimes labelled dirty sluts who just need a good fucking. This saddens me because albeit there are a lot of gorgeous people here, it seems to make a lot of people seem like something you wipe off your shoe. Going off subject a little but hopefully you get my drift. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just read that back not sure if that reads right. What I meant was hate it when women on the site are made out to be nothing more than dirty piece's of meat to be abused. Not that this had anything to do with our earlier opening post. In fact don't even know how I got here in the first place hahahaha  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just read that back not sure if that reads right. What I meant was hate it when women on the site are made out to be nothing more than dirty piece's of meat to be abused. Not that this had anything to do with our earlier opening post. In fact don't even know how I got here in the first place hahahaha "
no your right, some men think that way, even if they dont say it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think most cpls on here, including us just enjoy a bit of fun! It does make our bond more special and there's no insecurities. If ppl are not secure enough in a relationship then its a bad place to be and will cause more trouble in the long run.
Men who say those comments discust me, its like saying the person they are about to meet/fuck is worthless and how dare they judge someone!!
The majority of people on here are so lovely yet it only takes one person to paint everyone with the same brush.
Xx
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think most cpls on here, including us just enjoy a bit of fun! It does make our bond more special and there's no insecurities. If ppl are not secure enough in a relationship then its a bad place to be and will cause more trouble in the long run.
Men who say those comments discust me, its like saying the person they are about to meet/fuck is worthless and how dare they judge someone!!
The majority of people on here are so lovely yet it only takes one person to paint everyone with the same brush.
Xx
"
Could not agree more xxxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What. A. Dick.
Sounds like a guy who's taking advantage of being single to tick sexual experiences off his list...which is fine, to a degree. I definitely have a list, but I'd also be open to meeting someone who would be in an open relationship with me! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In all fairness though that when they have only ever played as a single, they singularly fail to grasp the viewpoint that couples have, and in a way it's understandable from their lack of experience like that. A lot still have that bridge to cross.
Wolf |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In all fairness though that when they have only ever played as a single, they singularly fail to grasp the viewpoint that couples have, and in a way it's understandable from their lack of experience like that. A lot still have that bridge to cross.
Wolf"
Hmm that is an interesting thought, never thought about it like that. Just kind of made us think that perhaps there is a bit of double standards going on. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Heard countless single males say this in clubs............then they wonder why we and others won't shag them  "
actually was about to say exactly the same thing...... it is something that i have heard other single blokes say and it doesn't surprise me
its an awkward subject because some see swinging as a stop gap, some see it as oppotunism... and some see it as a double standard....
it doesn't sit well with me because it to me personally doesn't sit well with how i look at, and understanding swinging... but i know i don't look at swinging the same way as a lot of single guys just from the difference in how i am and they are in club atmospheres... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Heard countless single males say this in clubs............then they wonder why we and others won't shag them "
Yes, it seems quite a common way of thinking, we've seen similar comments several times on the forums.
Yet another reason why we don't meet single guys!
XXXX |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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There are some really decent nice guys / females on this site who take swinging for what it is, and don't blur the edges and make it into something that it is not. However sadly there are a lot of people who to be blunt ruin it for the genuine people who understand the concept of swinging, but you have a very valid point. |
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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
"Heard countless single males say this in clubs............then they wonder why we and others won't shag them
"
Too many single men see swinging as an 'easy' shag and that swinging women are 'easy meat' and too many use clubs because they assume that they pay their money and women who go must want to shag anything.
Its one of the reasons why we won't knowingly play with marrieds........ they aren't swingers....... too many are just looking for an easy lay and assume that swingers are the easiest of the easy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've heard that comment to from single guys, it's really hypocritical
Probably more do do with why they're on here in the first place - i.e. can't get a partner themselves to swing with or find single girls interested in meeting them alone either - so see couples as a means to an end! Or am I being cynical?
Then there's those of us who just enjoy our fun with more than one person at once and appreciate couples who think likewise! "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Hmm that is an interesting thought, never thought about it like that. Just kind of made us think that perhaps there is a bit of double standards going on. "
I think single people sometimes confuse the reasons that couples actually do engage in swinging, that there is nothing dysfunctional, no gap to fill.. just the need for an extra body to be present to heighten the experience, and that extra body can be interpreted from three standpoints (ok, so more with another couple... but in this instance...)
Also that the partner hasn't derated their other half to slutdom, and that it's no concession but a liberty for both... as put on another post very recently - knowing that you are your other partner's world in that they come right back to you each and every time.
Finally (I'll shut up in a mo ) that it's no loss of stature to share a partner in any way you see fit. Those entering from a solely single viewpoint only see a perceived loss or damage hence wouldn't be prepared to 'share their bird out' and risk it - so maybe it's just fear.
The best cure for fear is experience, but the two get locked up in quite a knot.
Wolf |
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By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Northants |
We have had single guys on here and other sites say that they wouldn't swing if they had a partner. Some have even said they wouldn't want their partner shagged by other people! One reason we stopped meeting singles for a while..
Have to say though, I don't find it any more distasteful than a couple of the women we have met at clubs, who are perhaps not women you would look at in Vanilla world, saying that they are only on swingers sites because they know there are Desperate men.. Their words, not mine!
But what I do find amusing is that while they don't have partners, the men so far have all said they would like to get them involved if they did find a partner. In our experience, most have gone against that when they have met someone! (One even met his new wife on a swingers site!)  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think most cpls on here, including us just enjoy a bit of fun! It does make our bond more special and there's no insecurities. If ppl are not secure enough in a relationship then its a bad place to be and will cause more trouble in the long run.
Men who say those comments discust me, its like saying the person they are about to meet/fuck is worthless and how dare they judge someone!!
The majority of people on here are so lovely yet it only takes one person to paint everyone with the same brush.
Xx
Hence looking for couples in long loving relationship...
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Hmm that is an interesting thought, never thought about it like that. Just kind of made us think that perhaps there is a bit of double standards going on.
I think single people sometimes confuse the reasons that couples actually do engage in swinging, that there is nothing dysfunctional, no gap to fill.. just the need for an extra body to be present to heighten the experience, and that extra body can be interpreted from three standpoints (ok, so more with another couple... but in this instance...)
Also that the partner hasn't derated their other half to slutdom, and that it's no concession but a liberty for both... as put on another post very recently - knowing that you are your other partner's world in that they come right back to you each and every time.
Finally (I'll shut up in a mo ) that it's no loss of stature to share a partner in any way you see fit. Those entering from a solely single viewpoint only see a perceived loss or damage hence wouldn't be prepared to 'share their bird out' and risk it - so maybe it's just fear.
The best cure for fear is experience, but the two get locked up in quite a knot.
I like it!
Wolf"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Hmm that is an interesting thought, never thought about it like that. Just kind of made us think that perhaps there is a bit of double standards going on.
I think single people sometimes confuse the reasons that couples actually do engage in swinging, that there is nothing dysfunctional, no gap to fill.. just the need for an extra body to be present to heighten the experience, and that extra body can be interpreted from three standpoints (ok, so more with another couple... but in this instance...)
Also that the partner hasn't derated their other half to slutdom, and that it's no concession but a liberty for both... as put on another post very recently - knowing that you are your other partner's world in that they come right back to you each and every time.
Finally (I'll shut up in a mo ) that it's no loss of stature to share a partner in any way you see fit. Those entering from a solely single viewpoint only see a perceived loss or damage hence wouldn't be prepared to 'share their bird out' and risk it - so maybe it's just fear.
The best cure for fear is experience, but the two get locked up in quite a knot.
Wolf"
Here Here.... |
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"Heard countless single males say this in clubs............then they wonder why we and others won't shag them
actually was about to say exactly the same thing...... it is something that i have heard other single blokes say and it doesn't surprise me
its an awkward subject because some see swinging as a stop gap, some see it as oppotunism... and some see it as a double standard....
it doesn't sit well with me because it to me personally doesn't sit well with how i look at, and understanding swinging... but i know i don't look at swinging the same way as a lot of single guys just from the difference in how i am and they are in club atmospheres..."
you and a couple of other male and female friends are the reason i believe singles can be swingers, its a state of mind, not a condition of who you are with...and there are couples who also fail to share that state of mind remember...i am sure we have all come across couples in clubs where one partner is being pushed into it to please the other. |
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By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Northants |
"
Hmm that is an interesting thought, never thought about it like that. Just kind of made us think that perhaps there is a bit of double standards going on.
I think single people sometimes confuse the reasons that couples actually do engage in swinging, that there is nothing dysfunctional, no gap to fill.. just the need for an extra body to be present to heighten the experience, and that extra body can be interpreted from three standpoints (ok, so more with another couple... but in this instance...)
Also that the partner hasn't derated their other half to slutdom, and that it's no concession but a liberty for both... as put on another post very recently - knowing that you are your other partner's world in that they come right back to you each and every time.
Finally (I'll shut up in a mo ) that it's no loss of stature to share a partner in any way you see fit. Those entering from a solely single viewpoint only see a perceived loss or damage hence wouldn't be prepared to 'share their bird out' and risk it - so maybe it's just fear.
The best cure for fear is experience, but the two get locked up in quite a knot.
Wolf"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think a lot of men can be quite protective/possessive of women so it seems to be quite an issue.
Personally I met a girl at university who was into swinging and we both knew that was the situation from the start and I was happy to share.
I guess I don't know how I'd feel if it was a long term serious relationship where we had been vanilla for years. |
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Having vanilla for years makes it even more necessary to share because as addict swinger myself, I'd love to taste strawberries now and again. And also would love bit of chocolate and cream occasionally coupled with my normal vanilla im blessed to have.
I find the mentality of these 'back from the door swingers'- aka 'singles who wouldn't share' selfish really.
I regularly meet a young couple and asked them why they prefer single blokes as part of their sex alternative, but the missus was quick to point out she couldn't bare to see the husband shagging other women.
Well, I should have kept my mouth shut because I think I ruined our friendship by coming on the defensive, which the husband also agreed immediately he would love bit of varieties aswell. He agreed to meet single bloke just to satisfy the missus leaving himself deprived. Im too much dog-headed character to accept that double standard, I think.
Anyway, She went cold at me being mouthy about it, I think. And the night ended with my hope of a good time dashed.
I wish I'd keep my opinion to myself really because they're really nice couple.  |
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"personally i'd be ecstatic if my other half decided she wanted to join in with me and have 3sums 4sums and moresums but unfortunately she won't no matter how much i try i don't see how you can swing and join other people for 3sums but not expect to share your other half (if they wanted to)"
Does she know you do it ? |
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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
"to be honest i dont think id be able to 'swing' with someone i really cared about, but then i dont meet couple so i dont feel i have double standards  "
Without sounding really nosey NN, you used to swing as a couple with your ex.......
What's changed your mind about swinging with a partner? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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if i had a hot partner who was willing to swing with me. id be all for it. more couples and singles would take me seriously in a instant also. being a single is hard enough as it is. lol.
GIVE ME A SWINGING PARTNER ANY DAY OF THE WEEK! AS SHARING IS CARING! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was once the single guy meeting couples, since got married and I wasn't sure if I wanted to swing and watch my wife with another guy. But the more I thought about it the more I got turned on by it. We visited abfabs and met a lovely couple and it was an awesome and very horny experience.
People have opinions on everything but unless you put yourself into that position then you really don't know how you feel.
Enjoy swinging xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Those types of guys exist to be used and abused by greey girls like me...chew them up and spit them out i say then chuck them in the reject bin never to be seen again! |
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"Heard countless single males say this in clubs............then they wonder why we and others won't shag them
actually was about to say exactly the same thing...... it is something that i have heard other single blokes say and it doesn't surprise me
its an awkward subject because some see swinging as a stop gap, some see it as oppotunism... and some see it as a double standard....
it doesn't sit well with me because it to me personally doesn't sit well with how i look at, and understanding swinging... but i know i don't look at swinging the same way as a lot of single guys just from the difference in how i am and they are in club atmospheres...
you and a couple of other male and female friends are the reason i believe singles can be swingers, its a state of mind, not a condition of who you are with...and there are couples who also fail to share that state of mind remember...i am sure we have all come across couples in clubs where one partner is being pushed into it to please the other."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think that some guys use it as a kind of chat up line. They think that they are just in a regular pub when talking to couples. I might be wrong but I think Robert Redford used the same line in indecent proposal when talking to Demi Moore. Muppets.
I did play with a couple a few years ago and the lady didn't want her hubby to have a ffm. She said she couldn't face seeing him with another woman. I was going to back off then but he really wanted to watch his wife with me. So what's a guy to do. LoL  |
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I don't get why its such a no no for single people to admit that they might not feel comfortable swinging with a partner themselves.
At the end of the day you do this to fulfill your fantasies and desires, not scrutinize other peoples. YOU have decided you want to share your partner with other people, be that single people or couples and at that moment in timea single person wants to join you. What does it matter if a few months down the line they meet someone and decide its not for them?
Or is this some sort of loyalty scheme? You fucked my wife so when you get yourself a lady I get first dibs on fucking her |
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"I don't get why its such a no no for single people to admit that they might not feel comfortable swinging with a partner themselves.
At the end of the day you do this to fulfill your fantasies and desires, not scrutinize other peoples. YOU have decided you want to share your partner with other people, be that single people or couples and at that moment in timea single person wants to join you. What does it matter if a few months down the line they meet someone and decide its not for them?
Or is this some sort of loyalty scheme? You fucked my wife so when you get yourself a lady I get first dibs on fucking her"
I think it's the implied lack of understanding of people in the scene.
'I'm happy to fuck your partner by pretending your not here'
'I'm here because you're a mug for sharing and I'll take what I want from her because she's an easy lay/slag'
It would seem that a lot just do not have an understanding of what swinging is and what it's all about. It shows a huge lack of respect.
A single that understands the scene, understands that there are two people in a couple not one.
A couple understand they are inviting a single into their space to share their fun equally.
In our opinion it doesn't matter if it is 3, 4 or more the best meets are those where everyone is as concerned with everyone else's enjoyment as their own.
It's not what they are doing but the state of mind which they enter into the deal with.
It's not right for a single guy to say 'I'd never share my partner with anyone. That is the wrong attitude. Now if you do meet someone that has no interest in swinging, you fall in love and decide to step out of the swinging world for them fair enough that's entirely different and respectful.
It is the state of mind and attitude that is wrong. |
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But its not the wrong attitude if its how they feel. Guys (and girls) can appreciate and respect the fact that couples want to share but know that they would have a hard time dealing with it themselves, they are just being honest. Surely that's better than someone saying what they think you want to hear just to get their leg over.
Maybe not, maybe its ok to lie |
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Of course it's not ok to lie. As long as they are honest before they get what they want that's fair enough.
Our opinion is we just think it is the wrong approach to swinging.
How do they know that their perspective partner maybe very keen on swinging and want to do it.
It's a very hypocritical way of approaching things.
Of course there is also their implied feelings towards the people they are playing with aswell.
But each to their own. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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He sounds like a right plantpot to be fair. Personally, I would be more than happy to have a girlfriend who swung, with or without me as I would be overjoyed to see the pleasure on her face as she indulged, and I'd like to think she felt the same with me. I have had offers of this scenario, but I find my time constraints usually make this nigh on impossible.
I think more men will say this than women as there still exists the outdated notion that men get turned on by multiple partners and adventurous sex, whereas woman get turned on by monogamy, routine and cosiness, so a woman who wants to be sexually adventurous and experiment with different men is a freak of nature, although this is borne out to a certain extent by the male/female ratio on this site and in swinging in general, as well as by the the overwhelming majority of women on sites that are after getting couples hitched into cosy marriages.
However, people in general are more open now and variety is more celebrated than in times gone by, which means that no one should be discriminated against or have silly non-descriptive labels attached to them for desiring something other than the expected norm when they otherwise hold the same moral compass and vitues with regards to not hurting others... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"to be honest i dont think id be able to 'swing' with someone i really cared about, but then i dont meet couple so i dont feel i have double standards
Without sounding really nosey NN, you used to swing as a couple with your ex.......
What's changed your mind about swinging with a partner?"
hes my ex, i think that answers your question |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if i had a hot partner who was willing to swing with me. id be all for it. more couples and singles would take me seriously in a instant also. being a single is hard enough as it is. lol.
GIVE ME A SWINGING PARTNER ANY DAY OF THE WEEK! AS SHARING IS CARING!"
a swinging partner is different tho, swinging with someone you love isnt the same as having a woman to get more meets |
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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
"to be honest i dont think id be able to 'swing' with someone i really cared about, but then i dont meet couple so i dont feel i have double standards
Without sounding really nosey NN, you used to swing as a couple with your ex.......
What's changed your mind about swinging with a partner?
hes my ex, i think that answers your question "
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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
"I don't get why its such a no no for single people to admit that they might not feel comfortable swinging with a partner themselves.
At the end of the day you do this to fulfill your fantasies and desires, not scrutinize other peoples. YOU have decided you want to share your partner with other people, be that single people or couples and at that moment in timea single person wants to join you. What does it matter if a few months down the line they meet someone and decide its not for them?
Or is this some sort of loyalty scheme? You fucked my wife so when you get yourself a lady I get first dibs on fucking her"
I understand what you are saying Evesham but for us, it's the pure hypocrisy of what they say.......
It's like the club scenario.....
I'll fuck your wife, but I'd be dammed if I'd ever bring MY wife to a place like this.
They are being hypocritical as they are quite happy to use others as a means to an end but don't consider (or probably understand) what it means for those couples that do share.
And, yes, I know, couples use single men as well........
I just don't want the singlies spouting their preachings about the kind of hobby that THEIR wife would be too good for or that they couldn't cope with! |
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I'm not sure what the fuss is about? Going back to the OP's original post, I don't think the guy said anything derogatory against women that swing, just that he wouldn't date a woman that did? I'm sure there are a lot of people that feel the same, that are happy to play with others that do but wouldn't want to share their partner with someone else. Maybe they don't think they'd be able to cope with the jealousy, but whatever the reason, hypocrisy or not, it's their choice? Can't understand why someone would find that insulting? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i haved to admit it really annoys me when at clubs you heard the guys saying that they would never bring their wifes to a place like this
If they think their Mrs is to good to swing its not saying a lot about their opinion of the women in there is it? |
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"I'm not sure what the fuss is about? Going back to the OP's original post, I don't think the guy said anything derogatory against women that swing, just that he wouldn't date a woman that did? I'm sure there are a lot of people that feel the same, that are happy to play with others that do but wouldn't want to share their partner with someone else. Maybe they don't think they'd be able to cope with the jealousy, but whatever the reason, hypocrisy or not, it's their choice? Can't understand why someone would find that insulting?"
I agree with this. It's not everyone's fantasy to see their partner shagging someone else or being shagged by someone else. Swinging comes in many forms (no pun intended).
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Reading through the latter half of this thread has just gone to confirm why we don't consider singles as swingers.
Jealousy has no place in swinging, its all about sharing as opposed to the "Whats yours is mine but whats mine is my own!" mentality.
We see singles as opportunists, people may disagree but that's our take on it and as we said many of the posts this thread only go to confirm our opinion. 
XXXX |
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I too have in the past been part of a married couple who swing, I loved watching my ex with others of both sexes, and she me, I'm single at the moment, so threesome are the usual, but I can't understand any who would insult the couple they have or are about to, play with like that. Just ignorance!
I'd love to again have a partner ( in life and or bed) to play with. It's made complicated for me by having my pre-teen daughter at home, and she comes first - sorry)
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"I'm not sure what the fuss is about? Going back to the OP's original post, I don't think the guy said anything derogatory against women that swing, just that he wouldn't date a woman that did? I'm sure there are a lot of people that feel the same, that are happy to play with others that do but wouldn't want to share their partner with someone else. Maybe they don't think they'd be able to cope with the jealousy, but whatever the reason, hypocrisy or not, it's their choice? Can't understand why someone would find that insulting?
I agree with this. It's not everyone's fantasy to see their partner shagging someone else or being shagged by someone else. Swinging comes in many forms (no pun intended).
"
Seems we're in the minority though. Still can't see the insult? |
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"I'm not sure what the fuss is about? ....
Seems we're in the minority though. Still can't see the insult?"
Can't see the insult?
When a man joins a mf couple for a threesome and enjoys it and subsequently say 'he wouldn't let a girlfriend of his do that' is :-
1) insulting women generally in that it was in his power to'let' 'his' girlfriend do or not do anything.
2) insults the couple and this woman in particular in that what they have just done is somehow wrong.
I trust this help illuminate the 'insult' for you.
|
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"if i had a hot partner who was willing to swing with me. id be all for it. more couples and singles would take me seriously in a instant also. being a single is hard enough as it is. lol.
GIVE ME A SWINGING PARTNER ANY DAY OF THE WEEK! AS SHARING IS CARING!
a swinging partner is different tho, swinging with someone you love isnt the same as having a woman to get more meets "
agreed,
we have discussed this at great length, because of her wanting to see mehaving sex with someone else, but me not wanting to see her, and i have freely admitted that, with my ex, i wouldnt have minded doing the whole thing, and thats the reason she is my ex, because i simply didnt care enough for her for it to tear my heart out by seeing her, and hearing her, being rode by another bloke, whereas now, i just cant even imagine what it would be like to see Em doing it, and i wouldnt want to |
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"I'm not sure what the fuss is about? Going back to the OP's original post, I don't think the guy said anything derogatory against women that swing, just that he wouldn't date a woman that did? I'm sure there are a lot of people that feel the same, that are happy to play with others that do but wouldn't want to share their partner with someone else. Maybe they don't think they'd be able to cope with the jealousy, but whatever the reason, hypocrisy or not, it's their choice? Can't understand why someone would find that insulting?"
the single person in question may not have directly said anything derogatory about the swinging woman, but it was implied, imo.
not wanting to date someone that swings suggests those that do are below his standard, or are less worthy as a partner than those that do.
much like saying i dont mind ugly people, but wouldnt go out with one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
not wanting to date someone that swings suggests those that do are below his standard, or are less worthy as a partner than those that do.
"
....some of em just have their values upside down then don't they...
maybe it's just they're scared that their female partner would enjoy things more than them... that couldn't possibly be allowed to happen could it...
But hey-ho, whatever it is, they need to wise up
Wolf
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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well i started on here as a couple and have played as a couple on here since. so if im with the right girl then yes would try things. not everyones into it tho so not a given that the opertunity is there!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All very odd. Have a singles profile here but meet someone that I play with regular, we play together and on own and find its added to the experance 10 fold |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not sure what the fuss is about? ....
Seems we're in the minority though. Still can't see the insult?
Can't see the insult?
When a man joins a mf couple for a threesome and enjoys it and subsequently say 'he wouldn't let a girlfriend of his do that' is :-
1) insulting women generally in that it was in his power to'let' 'his' girlfriend do or not do anything.
2) insults the couple and this woman in particular in that what they have just done is somehow wrong.
I trust this help illuminate the 'insult' for you.
"
I totally agree. Any woman who decides to share her body with anyone else other than her partner is affording others a privilege. As such, that lucky person should be more than grateful. My partner and I 'discovered' that we share basically the same aspirations sexually. If any man was to say that to us after being afford the privilege (not the right) of being pleasured by her, I'd f***him up!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've also heard it from plenty of women....
"When I find a bloke..... we're not swinging cus I couldn't cope with watching him shag someone else"
The men, in my opinion, don't say it through jealousy but through some neanderthal notion that swinging women are slags.
I've heard it too many times to care....... As soon as a bloke says it...... We're gone!"
as a single girl i was only into ffm as a couple i am only into ffm so haven't changed although he wants to do mmf its not for me so i said he can do on his own xxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have had single guys on here and other sites say that they wouldn't swing if they had a partner. Some have even said they wouldn't want their partner shagged by other people! One reason we stopped meeting singles for a while..
Have to say though, I don't find it any more distasteful than a couple of the women we have met at clubs, who are perhaps not women you would look at in Vanilla world, saying that they are only on swingers sites because they know there are Desperate men.. Their words, not mine!
But what I do find amusing is that while they don't have partners, the men so far have all said they would like to get them involved if they did find a partner. In our experience, most have gone against that when they have met someone! (One even met his new wife on a swingers site!) "
i know of a couple of ladies who meet single men "they could not get in real life" again there words not mine xxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Of course it's not ok to lie. As long as they are honest before they get what they want that's fair enough.
Our opinion is we just think it is the wrong approach to swinging.
How do they know that their perspective partner maybe very keen on swinging and want to do it.
It's a very hypocritical way of approaching things.
Of course there is also their implied feelings towards the people they are playing with aswell.
But each to their own."
what is the right approach ??????????? as lets be honest about this i have come away from meets feeling unhappy as a single girl but i am sure the couple aren't worried they got what they wanted but very few couples think like about that
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not sure what the fuss is about? ....
Seems we're in the minority though. Still can't see the insult?
Can't see the insult?
When a man joins a mf couple for a threesome and enjoys it and subsequently say 'he wouldn't let a girlfriend of his do that' is :-
1) insulting women generally in that it was in his power to'let' 'his' girlfriend do or not do anything.
2) insults the couple and this woman in particular in that what they have just done is somehow wrong.
I trust this help illuminate the 'insult' for you.
I totally agree. Any woman who decides to share her body with anyone else other than her partner is affording others a privilege. As such, that lucky person should be more than grateful. My partner and I 'discovered' that we share basically the same aspirations sexually. If any man was to say that to us after being afford the privilege (not the right) of being pleasured by her, I'd f***him up!! "
lol, so, its nothing to do with the fact that you and your partner enjoy having sex with others? your just here to provide a 'privilege'? lol, if i get a meet, i hope it will be because the other party likes me, and wanted me to join in their fun! not because they felt they were handing out privileges!! |
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"We had a threesome with a guy and he made a comment, saying " I would never be with a girl who wants to swing." What's everyones opinion on this. "
Hes a twat, why is he doing it then and what makes him think a girl would wanna be with him and allow him to swing |
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"I don't get why its such a no no for single people to admit that they might not feel comfortable swinging with a partner themselves.
At the end of the day you do this to fulfill your fantasies and desires, not scrutinize other peoples. YOU have decided you want to share your partner with other people, be that single people or couples and at that moment in timea single person wants to join you. What does it matter if a few months down the line they meet someone and decide its not for them?
Or is this some sort of loyalty scheme? You fucked my wife so when you get yourself a lady I get first dibs on fucking her
I think it's the implied lack of understanding of people in the scene.
'I'm happy to fuck your partner by pretending your not here'
'I'm here because you're a mug for sharing and I'll take what I want from her because she's an easy lay/slag'
It would seem that a lot just do not have an understanding of what swinging is and what it's all about. It shows a huge lack of respect.
A single that understands the scene, understands that there are two people in a couple not one.
A couple understand they are inviting a single into their space to share their fun equally.
In our opinion it doesn't matter if it is 3, 4 or more the best meets are those where everyone is as concerned with everyone else's enjoyment as their own.
It's not what they are doing but the state of mind which they enter into the deal with.
It's not right for a single guy to say 'I'd never share my partner with anyone. That is the wrong attitude. Now if you do meet someone that has no interest in swinging, you fall in love and decide to step out of the swinging world for them fair enough that's entirely different and respectful.
It is the state of mind and attitude that is wrong."
Spot on. |
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"I've heard that comment to from single guys, it's really hypocritical"
Happens throughout the swing world, hence soft swap etc. If you cant separate personal life for fantasy and fun/friends you shouldnt be in the scene...simples! |
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"I've also heard it from plenty of women....
"When I find a bloke..... we're not swinging cus I couldn't cope with watching him shag someone else"
The men, in my opinion, don't say it through jealousy but through some neanderthal notion that swinging women are slags.
I've heard it too many times to care....... As soon as a bloke says it...... We're gone!
as a single girl i was only into ffm as a couple i am only into ffm so haven't changed although he wants to do mmf its not for me so i said he can do on his own xxxx"
Well thats just total selfishness and full of issues, its fantasy, personal lives dont come into it, we have swung 3 yrs together and never had a disagreement, cos we trust each other and this in turn strengthens our relationship  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm not sure what the fuss is about? ....
Seems we're in the minority though. Still can't see the insult?
Can't see the insult?
When a man joins a mf couple for a threesome and enjoys it and subsequently say 'he wouldn't let a girlfriend of his do that' is :-
1) insulting women generally in that it was in his power to'let' 'his' girlfriend do or not do anything.
2) insults the couple and this woman in particular in that what they have just done is somehow wrong.
I trust this help illuminate the 'insult' for you.
I totally agree. Any woman who decides to share her body with anyone else other than her partner is affording others a privilege. As such, that lucky person should be more than grateful. My partner and I 'discovered' that we share basically the same aspirations sexually. If any man was to say that to us after being afford the privilege (not the right) of being pleasured by her, I'd f***him up!!
lol, so, its nothing to do with the fact that you and your partner enjoy having sex with others? your just here to provide a 'privilege'? lol, if i get a meet, i hope it will be because the other party likes me, and wanted me to join in their fun! not because they felt they were handing out privileges!! "
We wouldn't have got with that person if we didn't feel some afinity to him in the first place. I think that was a given! We're in this 'game' hopefully to pleasure each other and to share the experience with others. Hence, it is a privilege afford to others outside of the relationship that you may be in at any given time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not sure what the fuss is about? ....
Seems we're in the minority though. Still can't see the insult?
Can't see the insult?
When a man joins a mf couple for a threesome and enjoys it and subsequently say 'he wouldn't let a girlfriend of his do that' is :-
1) insulting women generally in that it was in his power to'let' 'his' girlfriend do or not do anything.
2) insults the couple and this woman in particular in that what they have just done is somehow wrong.
I trust this help illuminate the 'insult' for you.
I totally agree. Any woman who decides to share her body with anyone else other than her partner is affording others a privilege. As such, that lucky person should be more than grateful. My partner and I 'discovered' that we share basically the same aspirations sexually. If any man was to say that to us after being afford the privilege (not the right) of being pleasured by her, I'd f***him up!!
lol, so, its nothing to do with the fact that you and your partner enjoy having sex with others? your just here to provide a 'privilege'? lol, if i get a meet, i hope it will be because the other party likes me, and wanted me to join in their fun! not because they felt they were handing out privileges!!
We wouldn't have got with that person if we didn't feel some afinity to him in the first place. I think that was a given! We're in this 'game' hopefully to pleasure each other and to share the experience with others. Hence, it is a privilege afford to others outside of the relationship that you may be in at any given time. "
aaaaahh, ok, my mistake then! so its NOTHING to do with the fact your both turned on by inviting others to join you in your fun!! its just a pity you dont have the choice of inviting single guys, couples or females isnt it? anyway, my apologies for thinking you arent doing this for OUR benefit! |
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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
"I'm not sure what the fuss is about? ....
Seems we're in the minority though. Still can't see the insult?
Can't see the insult?
When a man joins a mf couple for a threesome and enjoys it and subsequently say 'he wouldn't let a girlfriend of his do that' is :-
1) insulting women generally in that it was in his power to'let' 'his' girlfriend do or not do anything.
2) insults the couple and this woman in particular in that what they have just done is somehow wrong.
I trust this help illuminate the 'insult' for you.
I totally agree. Any woman who decides to share her body with anyone else other than her partner is affording others a privilege. As such, that lucky person should be more than grateful. My partner and I 'discovered' that we share basically the same aspirations sexually. If any man was to say that to us after being afford the privilege (not the right) of being pleasured by her, I'd f***him up!!
lol, so, its nothing to do with the fact that you and your partner enjoy having sex with others? your just here to provide a 'privilege'? lol, if i get a meet, i hope it will be because the other party likes me, and wanted me to join in their fun! not because they felt they were handing out privileges!!
We wouldn't have got with that person if we didn't feel some afinity to him in the first place. I think that was a given! We're in this 'game' hopefully to pleasure each other and to share the experience with others. Hence, it is a privilege afford to others outside of the relationship that you may be in at any given time.
aaaaahh, ok, my mistake then! so its NOTHING to do with the fact your both turned on by inviting others to join you in your fun!! its just a pity you dont have the choice of inviting single guys, couples or females isnt it? anyway, my apologies for thinking you arent doing this for OUR benefit! "
No, its got everything to do with the applied insinuation that HIS woman would be too good to swing and the implied insinuation that the woman he's just fucked is obviously lower in the food chain that HIS partner would be. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm not sure what the fuss is about? ....
Seems we're in the minority though. Still can't see the insult?
Can't see the insult?
When a man joins a mf couple for a threesome and enjoys it and subsequently say 'he wouldn't let a girlfriend of his do that' is :-
1) insulting women generally in that it was in his power to'let' 'his' girlfriend do or not do anything.
2) insults the couple and this woman in particular in that what they have just done is somehow wrong.
I trust this help illuminate the 'insult' for you.
I totally agree. Any woman who decides to share her body with anyone else other than her partner is affording others a privilege. As such, that lucky person should be more than grateful. My partner and I 'discovered' that we share basically the same aspirations sexually. If any man was to say that to us after being afford the privilege (not the right) of being pleasured by her, I'd f***him up!!
lol, so, its nothing to do with the fact that you and your partner enjoy having sex with others? your just here to provide a 'privilege'? lol, if i get a meet, i hope it will be because the other party likes me, and wanted me to join in their fun! not because they felt they were handing out privileges!!
We wouldn't have got with that person if we didn't feel some afinity to him in the first place. I think that was a given! We're in this 'game' hopefully to pleasure each other and to share the experience with others. Hence, it is a privilege afford to others outside of the relationship that you may be in at any given time.
aaaaahh, ok, my mistake then! so its NOTHING to do with the fact your both turned on by inviting others to join you in your fun!! its just a pity you dont have the choice of inviting single guys, couples or females isnt it? anyway, my apologies for thinking you arent doing this for OUR benefit!
No, its got everything to do with the applied insinuation that HIS woman would be too good to swing and the implied insinuation that the woman he's just fucked is obviously lower in the food chain that HIS partner would be."
no its not! we havent had any context of the conversation! did he make the remark after they had their fun! if so, maybe it was his first time and he realised that he wouldnt like to see his partner do it! nothing wrong there!!
if it wasnt his first time with a couple, then ye, hes a bit of a plonker for saying it! but, the comnent i made
earlier still stands, the couple invited him for THEIR pleasure as well as his! |
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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
" " I would never be with a girl who wants to swing." "
Broken the quote down.
Regardless of how the tone of voice sounded, the words speak volumes .... and to me, reiterate exactly what I said above! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think most cpls on here, including us just enjoy a bit of fun! It does make our bond more special and there's no insecurities. If ppl are not secure enough in a relationship then its a bad place to be and will cause more trouble in the long run.
Men who say those comments discust me, its like saying the person they are about to meet/fuck is worthless and how dare they judge someone!!
The majority of people on here are so lovely yet it only takes one person to paint everyone with the same brush.
Xx
Could not agree more xxxxx"
Ditto |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" " I would never be with a girl who wants to swing."
Broken the quote down.
Regardless of how the tone of voice sounded, the words speak volumes .... and to me, reiterate exactly what I said above!"
so, you broke the quote down to suit your words! but did he say them before, during or after the fact! because there is a diference as i have already said! if it was before or during then he is out of order! if it was after, he could have realised this isnt for him! as i said, CONTEXT. but well done for 'breaking the quote down'! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We had a threesome with a guy and he made a comment, saying " I would never be with a girl who wants to swing." What's everyones opinion on this. "
We'd tell him where to go, this is something we do together and we both take equal pleasure in seeing each other and having whatever fun we like!
I think if it actually came down to it this guy wouldnt be the one making the rules - if he had the chance to be with a woman into this lifestyle would he really be saying 'no, your not the one for me....' .... We think not as he'd prob be happy with whatever he could get!! ( no offence to the OP intended!!) xx |
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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
" " I would never be with a girl who wants to swing."
Broken the quote down.
Regardless of how the tone of voice sounded, the words speak volumes .... and to me, reiterate exactly what I said above!
so, you broke the quote down to suit your words! but did he say them before, during or after the fact! because there is a diference as i have already said! if it was before or during then he is out of order! if it was after, he could have realised this isnt for him! as i said, CONTEXT. but well done for 'breaking the quote down'! "
I read it as 'after the act'.....
And yes, I'm clever enough to break down a quote to my own ends!
This is a forum, we are allowed our own opinions and we are allowed to debate and we are allowed to quote (Admin put in that facility) and if I want to break down a quote...... I will, cus I can. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've also heard it from plenty of women....
"When I find a bloke..... we're not swinging cus I couldn't cope with watching him shag someone else"
The men, in my opinion, don't say it through jealousy but through some neanderthal notion that swinging women are slags.
I've heard it too many times to care....... As soon as a bloke says it...... We're gone!
as a single girl i was only into ffm as a couple i am only into ffm so haven't changed although he wants to do mmf its not for me so i said he can do on his own xxxx
Well thats just total selfishness and full of issues, its fantasy, personal lives dont come into it, we have swung 3 yrs together and never had a disagreement, cos we trust each other and this in turn strengthens our relationship "
what i have issues because i get nothing out of having sex with two guys no actually why should u be able to tell me what i can and can't do ty very much but just because u like doing that doesn't mean i have to and if u can show me the 'swinging' rules then please do so i am an adult so i choose what i will and won't do !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" " I would never be with a girl who wants to swing."
Broken the quote down.
Regardless of how the tone of voice sounded, the words speak volumes .... and to me, reiterate exactly what I said above!
so, you broke the quote down to suit your words! but did he say them before, during or after the fact! because there is a diference as i have already said! if it was before or during then he is out of order! if it was after, he could have realised this isnt for him! as i said, CONTEXT. but well done for 'breaking the quote down'!
I read it as 'after the act'.....
And yes, I'm clever enough to break down a quote to my own ends!
This is a forum, we are allowed our own opinions and we are allowed to debate and we are allowed to quote (Admin put in that facility) and if I want to break down a quote...... I will, cus I can."
you read it as after the act! exactly the point im trying to put over!! what if it was the guys first time and he realised it wasnt for him! havent you done anything you have later regretted! i know i have! as i said, its all in the context of a conversation! anyone can 'break down a quote' to suit there own argument! |
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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
" " I would never be with a girl who wants to swing."
Broken the quote down.
Regardless of how the tone of voice sounded, the words speak volumes .... and to me, reiterate exactly what I said above!
so, you broke the quote down to suit your words! but did he say them before, during or after the fact! because there is a diference as i have already said! if it was before or during then he is out of order! if it was after, he could have realised this isnt for him! as i said, CONTEXT. but well done for 'breaking the quote down'!
I read it as 'after the act'.....
And yes, I'm clever enough to break down a quote to my own ends!
This is a forum, we are allowed our own opinions and we are allowed to debate and we are allowed to quote (Admin put in that facility) and if I want to break down a quote...... I will, cus I can.
you read it as after the act! exactly the point im trying to put over!! what if it was the guys first time and he realised it wasnt for him! havent you done anything you have later regretted! i know i have! as i said, its all in the context of a conversation! anyone can 'break down a quote' to suit there own argument! "
So....... would YOU be with a woman that swings? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" " I would never be with a girl who wants to swing."
Broken the quote down.
Regardless of how the tone of voice sounded, the words speak volumes .... and to me, reiterate exactly what I said above!
so, you broke the quote down to suit your words! but did he say them before, during or after the fact! because there is a diference as i have already said! if it was before or during then he is out of order! if it was after, he could have realised this isnt for him! as i said, CONTEXT. but well done for 'breaking the quote down'!
I read it as 'after the act'.....
And yes, I'm clever enough to break down a quote to my own ends!
This is a forum, we are allowed our own opinions and we are allowed to debate and we are allowed to quote (Admin put in that facility) and if I want to break down a quote...... I will, cus I can.
you read it as after the act! exactly the point im trying to put over!! what if it was the guys first time and he realised it wasnt for him! havent you done anything you have later regretted! i know i have! as i said, its all in the context of a conversation! anyone can 'break down a quote' to suit there own argument!
So....... would YOU be with a woman that swings?"
it wouldnt bother me in the slightest! thats why im on here! |
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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
Right, so think about this, long and hard.
If a single guy had just joined you and your partner in a threesum and had fucked your partner........... but then turned round and practically told you that any girl he got with would be too good to swing..........
How would you feel and how would you feel about the fact that he's virtually just told you that your partner isn't good enough?
As many have said, you hear it all the time in clubs......."I'd never bring MY wife to a place like this".......
It makes us women feel that these men think that because we are swingers, we are easy sluts/slags (use whatever word you want) and that we are lower than THEIR wife.
Now tell me that people don't have the right to get pissy when they hear that
it wouldnt bother me in the slightest! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My opion is if a single guy is not prepared to swing with a girlfriend, or who ever, then they are clearly here for their own needs and no fucker else's.
Wonder why we dont do them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My opion is if a single guy is not prepared to swing with a girlfriend, or who ever, then they are clearly here for their own needs and no fucker else's.
Wonder why we dont do them"
im not getting involved again in this! all i said earlier was if the guy said it after the 3sum (which we found out he did) then maybe it was his first time and realised it wasnt for him and any future gf he found! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Says it all not bothered about the couple in general, only about shagging the fem"
erm, wouldnt that be what the couple want in the first place? a guy to fuck the missus! isnt that what turns them on? or am i missing the point of a 3sum? |
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I mite be on my own in this but a man been part of a threesum has no jealousy but if he was the man in the couple if he had a jelouse streak people would say it's a bad idea.
We are all different as everyone says on hear many many times it's up to them to do or not to do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My opion is if a single guy is not prepared to swing with a girlfriend, or who ever, then they are clearly here for their own needs and no fucker else's.
Wonder why we dont do them
im not getting involved again in this! all i said earlier was if the guy said it after the 3sum (which we found out he did) then maybe it was his first time and realised it wasnt for him and any future gf he found! "
Or on the other hand....he might well have thought it before hand but didn't want to say so or he wouldn't have got a shag.
However....when his balls were empty - and he had nothing to lose - he showed his true colours.
Howabout that one?! |
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"My opion is if a single guy is not prepared to swing with a girlfriend, or who ever, then they are clearly here for their own needs and no fucker else's.
Wonder why we dont do them"
Everyone is here for their own needs, no one swings to make other people happy or fulfil other peoples fantasies!!!!
I'm still looking for the contract that says if you swing as a single you MUST swing as a couple! Surely its about seeing what your New other half wants or how comfortable youare sharing a new partner? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My opion is if a single guy is not prepared to swing with a girlfriend, or who ever, then they are clearly here for their own needs and no fucker else's.
Wonder why we dont do them
im not getting involved again in this! all i said earlier was if the guy said it after the 3sum (which we found out he did) then maybe it was his first time and realised it wasnt for him and any future gf he found!
Or on the other hand....he might well have thought it before hand but didn't want to say so or he wouldn't have got a shag.
However....when his balls were empty - and he had nothing to lose - he showed his true colours.
Howabout that one?! "
ye, well, we will never know eh! as i said earlier, the key word here is CONTEXT!! we dont know in what CONTEXT he said it! from what I gathered, he said it afterwards, which implied to me that he maybe regretted what he had done! (maybe not but thats MY opinion) im afraid the only people who will ever know are himself and the postees! so its really a mont point anyway! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If someone wants to swing with couples as a single but would never swing with singles as a couple, that's their choice.
However personally the hardest thing has been finding a female partner I would want to be with in all other aspects of a relationship AND who is willing to swing (and that includes me being happy with them going with other guys).
I've had FWB's who aren't right for more, and girlfriends who are right but who don't have my attitude to sex, but not both so far.
So well done to those couples out there who have both. In fact, those couples on this site with attitude to single guys should perhaps remember that some guys remain single because they can't get their normal level of girlfriend who will swing too, not because there's anything wrong with them. |
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"I'm not sure what the fuss is about? ....
Seems we're in the minority though. Still can't see the insult?
Can't see the insult?
When a man joins a mf couple for a threesome and enjoys it and subsequently say 'he wouldn't let a girlfriend of his do that' is :-
1) insulting women generally in that it was in his power to'let' 'his' girlfriend do or not do anything.
2) insults the couple and this woman in particular in that what they have just done is somehow wrong.
I trust this help illuminate the 'insult' for you.
"
Well no, actually it doesn't. Looking back I don't think the guy said he wouldn't LET his girlfriend do that, just that he wouldn't want to be with someone that did? Think you are implying things to make your own argument there, but each to their own.
All I am saying is, as a women, I am not offended by it. It is his choice not to choose a gf that swings, and it is their choice not to play with him if offended. Simple |
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"I'm not sure what the fuss is about? ....
Seems we're in the minority though. Still can't see the insult?
Can't see the insult?
When a man joins a mf couple for a threesome and enjoys it and subsequently say 'he wouldn't let a girlfriend of his do that' is :-
1) insulting women generally in that it was in his power to'let' 'his' girlfriend do or not do anything.
2) insults the couple and this woman in particular in that what they have just done is somehow wrong.
I trust this help illuminate the 'insult' for you.
I totally agree. Any woman who decides to share her body with anyone else other than her partner is affording others a privilege. As such, that lucky person should be more than grateful. My partner and I 'discovered' that we share basically the same aspirations sexually. If any man was to say that to us after being afford the privilege (not the right) of being pleasured by her, I'd f***him up!!
lol, so, its nothing to do with the fact that you and your partner enjoy having sex with others? your just here to provide a 'privilege'? lol, if i get a meet, i hope it will be because the other party likes me, and wanted me to join in their fun! not because they felt they were handing out privileges!! "
Exactly.. apparently they should be honoured by this totally selfless act! |
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This particular thread appears to be a total minefield!! Ok, as a single guy I might as well chuck in my tuppenceworth.
The guy "wouldn't be with a girl who swings." In a way I would say fair enough. Someone pointed out that everyone, when it comes down to it is here for their own pleasure and / or the pleasure of their partner if they have one. Couples seeking only a single guy, are they wrong because the woman does not want to see her man with another woman? Couples looking for single girls, are they "not real swingers" because the guy doesn't want to see his partner with another man? Single women on here looking only for men, are they not real swingers because they aren't bringing a man to share?
Fact is, personally, I think couples and singles are both here for slightly different things, either simply their own fun or their partners in the case of couples. However we all have to be considerate. If I met a couple so I could basically be with the woman but in the process the guy looked decidedly unhappy I would stop because, although I want my fun, I don't want to destroy anyone else's.
Now, coming to the not being with someone who swings. I will openly admit I think I would find it hard to see my gf (if I had one) with another guy, it just wouldnt be my thing. If she was straight then a mff isn't really going to work either so swinging wouldn't really be an option. Again, personally speaking, I think I would prefer a relationship that I am in to be just me and her, without swinging. I do not believe that in saying that I am relegating those women who do swing to "slag / slut / easy" status. If anything it shows them to be more adventurous and secure than me as it takes a certain kind of trust to swing with a partner.
So, the guy who said what he did. The OP said he wasn't trying to be nasty. Perhaps he is like me. Perhaps he realises that he is not the kind of person who would be able to have the kind of trust required to swing. But he is also the kind of person who is willing to join in when a couple are looking simply for a single guy to satisfy THEIR pleasure, more than his.
Berate my comments if you wish, or agree with me, whatever. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think its the right attitude to have in the swinging world.. and its not what its about... but not much you can do to change peoples opinions.. we just wouldn't play with someone who would say that to us... but we cant tell if they are thinking that |
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And is there anything wrong with that? No, of course not. My point is that everyone is in it for themselves, and if someone would give it up to be with someone whos not into it then that's fine, who are they hurting? |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
I've kinda been dipping in and out of this thread so finally decided to stick my tuppence worth in.....I'm a single who is so not looking for a relationship as I've realised monogamy is not my bag seeing as I've cheated on every relationship I've had.....If (and it's a HUGE if) I got into another relationship, it would have to be one where both of us were happy with the fact that I would actively look to shag other people....I've also met a guy who said that if he was in a relationship, he wouldn't be on a swinging site, and I totally respect that as he didn't say he wouldnt "let" his girl swing, just that it was something he wouldn't be doing if he were in a relationship....so I say whatever floats your boat, I'm not going to be over bothered, but, BEWARE, I'd likely smack you in the teeth if you actually said, I wouldn't "let" my wife/gf/significant other do this..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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seems to me that this thread is really about etiquette again. some things are better not said as they can feel bad.
You would think that .... but seems some peeps don't really care about how they make others feel.
disillusioned of Kent |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Id be the polar opposite of that guy! I would love my partner to enjoy swinging as much as i do  (and i dont just mean mff as if it was for my benefit, but mmf and more, as id like to see her spoiled if that was what she wanted) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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yes i would! i know its the couples discretion, but it annoys me seing NO SINGLE MALES, yet welcoming single females....and those who would play with couples but wouldnt if the shoe was on the other foot this gets right on my nerves, if its good enough for one its good enough for the other.......if i could find a girl who was on my wave length id be suited! |
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"We had a threesome with a guy and he made a comment, saying " I would never be with a girl who wants to swing." What's everyones opinion on this. "
He had some cheek.
On saying that though I used to chat to a single woman on fab. She once said she is happy to swing as a single woman but if she had a partner she would be upset if he wanted to swing as a couple. She said she would wonder why she wasn't enough for him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think he had a senior moment what he probably meant was:
I love sex and all that goes with it but when he finds his (the one) he'd want to stop the galavanting and be a devoted lover which in my opinion is fine as long as he stops. That's not to say if he finds his one and she's into swinging also and he still won't share then he's a knob no questions haha |
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