FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Black guys not BBCs

Black guys not BBCs

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Hate to ask but: Followed a few threads on forums and seen lots of profiles on searches that either are overly fetishing of black guys or are like a 50s/60s pub advert.

How many people on fab are open to meeting black guys without it being a fetish thing? They just find black guys attractive? Is fab perhaps not the place for me? Help.

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By *ugga81Man over a year ago

West Malling

Fab is the place for anyone.

It is an odd phenomenon I think, but as a white guy it's difficult for me to understand the sociology of it.

I'm not sure I'd be particularly happy about perpetuating the fetishisation and stereotypes associated with it, if I were black. So your view is refreshing to read.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Fab is the place for anyone.

It is an odd phenomenon I think, but as a white guy it's difficult for me to understand the sociology of it.

I'm not sure I'd be particularly happy about perpetuating the fetishisation and stereotypes associated with it, if I were black. So your view is refreshing to read.

It’s strange being wanted, in an advert, as a fetish which feels demeaning in itself or warned off approaching in an advert. Does lead to a weird feeling of unbelonging. As if wanting to be seen as desirable (or even undesirable) for reasons other than race is asking for too much or searching for a unicorn. Hmm

But honestly, thank you because this reply has been enough to make me feel like I’m not crazy for feeling this way

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By *SAchickWoman over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Yes I get what you mean. I've read a couple of threads lately that made me have to bite my tongue.

I've met black guys, it tends to be those who don't advertise themselves as BBC's.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

"Fab is the place for anyone.

It is an odd phenomenon I think, but as a white guy it's difficult for me to understand the sociology of it.

I'm not sure I'd be particularly happy about perpetuating the fetishisation and stereotypes associated with it, if I were black. So your view is refreshing to read.

But honestly, thank you because this reply has been enough to make me feel like I’m not crazy for feeling this way

I know what you mean and entirely agree that the whole BBC thing is utterly crass. However, you do get quite a few white couples /women who get excited by the whole "black men as primitive and powerful" trope and a significant number of black guys willing to play along with it in order to get a fuck

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By *ugga81Man over a year ago

West Malling

Very much doubt your crazy for feeling that way.

I'm friends with many women and couples who have met black guys purely because they found them attractive, and were nice guys.

I think with anyone on this site, you learn to out people who aren't for you and vice versa with time and experience.

Welcome to fab.

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By *ugga81Man over a year ago

West Malling

[Removed by poster at 23/02/20 20:15:14]

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By *uriousscouserWoman over a year ago

Wirral

"Yes I get what you mean. I've read a couple of threads lately that made me have to bite my tongue.

I've met black guys, it tends to be those who don't advertise themselves as BBC's."

^this.

I have met a black guy off here a couple of times but it's not a fetish thing, he's a lovely guy and we get on very well.

I'm looking for more than just a cock, whatever size and colour that cock happens to be.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Yes I get what you mean. I've read a couple of threads lately that made me have to bite my tongue.

I've met black guys, it tends to be those who don't advertise themselves as BBC's."

We’ve likely read some of the same threads.

Although lots of men seem to think you’re at some kind of advantage you’re black so idk.

I personally feel weird advertising myself as that (not just because I’m more average sized) or replying to/messaging profiles with that in. But even some people I’ve met off fab have been a bit fetishy or ‘no blacks’.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

I'm happy to meet guys who I'm attracted to and who are socially on my wavelength. I couldn't care less what their race is.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Fab is the place for anyone.

It is an odd phenomenon I think, but as a white guy it's difficult for me to understand the sociology of it.

I'm not sure I'd be particularly happy about perpetuating the fetishisation and stereotypes associated with it, if I were black. So your view is refreshing to read.

But honestly, thank you because this reply has been enough to make me feel like I’m not crazy for feeling this way

Fab isn’t a place to judge but I must admit I can be a bit judgey of those people.

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"Hate to ask but: Followed a few threads on forums and seen lots of profiles on searches that either are overly fetishing of black guys or are like a 50s/60s pub advert.

How many people on fab are open to meeting black guys without it being a fetish thing? They just find black guys attractive? Is fab perhaps not the place for me? Help.

After dating a carribean guy and one of my closest friends being carribean, they are my favourite kind of lovers

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Very much doubt your crazy for feeling that way.

I'm friends with many women and couples who have met black guys purely because they found them attractive, and were nice guys.

I think with anyone on this site, you learn to out people who aren't for you and vice versa with time and experience.

Welcome to fab. "

perhaps its luck of where you live and who you happen to be attracted to.

Oh well

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I can't stand it.

I'm like why do you need to tell me you're black? Fab doesn't read in braille, I can see it with my own eyes and if you think I'm that thick I need you to tell mr you're black then we really aren't suited!

If someone wants to advertise themselves that way it comes across as that's all they view themselves as, or that that's the most important thing about them as far as they're concerned. Personally I like them to think of themselves as a decent human, race and cock size are way down the bottom of the list compared to things that make a person a person.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

To be honest, dating/ sex is always going to be something you can boil down to preference, just think I’ve been unlucky enough to encounter lots of ‘BBC ONLY’ or ‘no blacks/bbcs/black guys’ profiles.

The solution can only be to look harder.

Thanks all for making me feel I’m not crazy and saying you’ve even noticed similar!

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By *erdyWoman over a year ago

wiltshire

"Hate to ask but: Followed a few threads on forums and seen lots of profiles on searches that either are overly fetishing of black guys or are like a 50s/60s pub advert.

How many people on fab are open to meeting black guys without it being a fetish thing? They just find black guys attractive? Is fab perhaps not the place for me? Help.

"
I've always thought the whole BBC thing is highly offensive. As a south Asian lady on here I frequently get asked by white guys if I can be their first lady of colour. Clearly a lot of white folk have taste for the exotic

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By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

To me, a penis is a penis and a vagina is a vagina. The colour of it is irrelevant (unless it's green or something, then you probably back away slowly!) I'm far more interested in the owner of said genetalia and can we converse with them?

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By *SAchickWoman over a year ago

Hillside desolate

[Removed by poster at 23/02/20 20:36:17]

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By *SAchickWoman over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"To me, a penis is a penis and a vagina is a vagina. The colour of it is irrelevant (unless it's green or something, then you probably back away slowly!) I'm far more interested in the owner of said genetalia and can we converse with them? "

There was a thread earlier today "black pussy or white pussy" or something like that, it made my toes curl

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By *hMyGawdCouple over a year ago

Midlands

"Hate to ask but: Followed a few threads on forums and seen lots of profiles on searches that either are overly fetishing of black guys or are like a 50s/60s pub advert.

How many people on fab are open to meeting black guys without it being a fetish thing? They just find black guys attractive? Is fab perhaps not the place for me? Help.

The majority of people actively and vocally seeking BBCs tend to be absolute trainwrecks. Save yourself

And as you say, maybe focus on people who like all kinds of guys, including black guys.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

There was a thread earlier today "black pussy or white pussy" or something like that, it made my toes curl "

I won't seek that out because it'll just annoy the fuck out of me. I dislike the fetishisation of race, dick size etc.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Not as a fetish ,I (hubby) black guys look handsome and offcourse they ooze masculinity. If we would meet black guys then it would be for their lush bodies and good looks and not for cock sizes. From our experience, they are polite,humble and sweet talkers.

Just hope Mrs takes some serious interest in black guys .

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Hate to ask but: Followed a few threads on forums and seen lots of profiles on searches that either are overly fetishing of black guys or are like a 50s/60s pub advert.

How many people on fab are open to meeting black guys without it being a fetish thing? They just find black guys attractive? Is fab perhaps not the place for me? Help.

don't worry... the subject comes up all the time mate, and the good thing (in my opinion anyway) is that more black guys are speaking up about how they find it isn't right....

the more people who do that, the more it will finally push the needle.,...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Hate to ask but: Followed a few threads on forums and seen lots of profiles on searches that either are overly fetishing of black guys or are like a 50s/60s pub advert.

How many people on fab are open to meeting black guys without it being a fetish thing? They just find black guys attractive? Is fab perhaps not the place for me? Help.

I've always thought the whole BBC thing is highly offensive. As a south Asian lady on here I frequently get asked by white guys if I can be their first lady of colour. Clearly a lot of white folk have taste for the exotic

Yes! This is a common experience of women of colour I’ve found. I’ve even had guys message me asking similar

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I find some black guys attractive. There's a certain look I go for. I'm certainly not fetishizing (that can't be a word!?) But I'm not here to explain myself to those that will never understand my attraction (that's all it is) and want to turn it into something else. Their issue. Not mine. So yes OP. There are some of us around. But we kinda get fed up with having to explain our preferences to those that don't get it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

There was a thread earlier today "black pussy or white pussy" or something like that, it made my toes curl "

Saw one the other day where a guy claimed he’d have more luck if he was black which was met with lots of people signalling that they were ‘white only’ kinds. Was lovely to read

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Hate to ask but: Followed a few threads on forums and seen lots of profiles on searches that either are overly fetishing of black guys or are like a 50s/60s pub advert.

How many people on fab are open to meeting black guys without it being a fetish thing? They just find black guys attractive? Is fab perhaps not the place for me? Help.

don't worry... the subject comes up all the time mate, and the good thing (in my opinion anyway) is that more black guys are speaking up about how they find it isn't right....

the more people who do that, the more it will finally push the needle.,...

Ooh? I’m glad it does and as you said, I hope with time it’ll get a lot less common to see some of the things we do, man.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Not as a fetish ,I (hubby) black guys look handsome and offcourse they ooze masculinity. If we would meet black guys then it would be for their lush bodies and good looks and not for cock sizes. From our experience, they are polite,humble and sweet talkers.

Just hope Mrs takes some serious interest in black guys .

Hmmm

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I find some black guys very attractive. Same as I find some white guys attractive.

I’d say I’ve had sex with more white guys than black guys but I have had an awful lot of black guys.

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By *ffanotdykeCouple over a year ago

Salop

We feel almost threatened by saying that we do not find men of Afro-Carribean origin attractive.

We dont find men with heavy beards attractive but this does not seem to carry the same stigma as saying that you do not find coloured/black men physically attractive. Why should we feel demonised about race but people who turn us down because of our age are not.

Surely its all about preference and beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

What always intrigues us is the huge difference in the number of coloured guys and the number of coloured ladies you see in clubs.

G&A

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We feel almost threatened by saying that we do not find men of Afro-Carribean origin attractive.

Surely its all about preference and beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

What always intrigues us is the huge difference in the number of coloured guys and the number of coloured ladies you see in clubs.

G&A"

Ok, we don’t say ‘coloured’ anymore but thanks for sharing.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

Someone's race and facial hair CHOICE are not comparable. At all. A man may turn up with facial fuzz on one day and without it the next. You would never have known if the first time you meet him was the second day. A person with black skin cannot change it; it is inherently part of them and to reject all people of a particular skin colour comes across as small minded at best.

If someone claims to prefer "white" skin, there's a hell of a lot of variation, unless you have a fetish for albino people. I'm lily white but my husband is still white despite being a darker complexion. Where does one draw the "darker" line?! Seems totally unnecessary to me, but that's me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Someone's race and facial hair CHOICE are not comparable. At all. A man may turn up with facial fuzz on one day and without it the next. You would never have known if the first time you meet him was the second day. A person with black skin cannot change it; it is inherently part of them and to reject all people of a particular skin colour comes across as small minded at best.

Completely agree. And thank you for saying this. Because I almost didn’t want to. But I feel like fab is a tough place to confront the issues surrounding *why* we might find an entire race unattractive. Everything is dressed up as preference even when it’s literally not preference. - if that makes sense

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hmm. I disagree. Mine is my current preference only. I'm a shallow beast. Not looking for a life partner otherwise looks wouldn't play such a major part. It literally can just be "this is what I'm attracted to right now". For some people.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And I'm still not fetishizing either.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

Totally get and accept "who I'm attracted to right now" but honestly cannot understand the total rejection of a whole race of people based purely on the amount of pigment in their skin. What constitutes black? How mixed race is acceptable before someone is not black enough? These are frankly questions that I don't think should be primarily at the forefront of our minds when deciding if someone is attractive? But perhaps I just don't understand, eh?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Just to clarify, I’m saying that preferring a racial group to another (for whatever reason) is fair but is not the same as not finding a racial group attractive. Many people feel the latter way but just dress it up as ‘preference’. They’re different things and I’m only making the point that people not getting that difference is why fab is a tough place to have these conversations.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Totally get and accept "who I'm attracted to right now" but honestly cannot understand the total rejection of a whole race of people based purely on the amount of pigment in their skin. What constitutes black? How mixed race is acceptable before someone is not black enough? These are frankly questions that I don't think should be primarily at the forefront of our minds when deciding if someone is attractive? But perhaps I just don't understand, eh? "

I don't need to draw a line under what's acceptable. Ffs. You lot think so black and white (literally) all the time!! I like the look that some black guys have. I also like some mixed race guys. I like a dark exotic looking guy. I know what I find attractive. I've not set it in stone. But if you're white and blonde/ ginger I'm really not gonna fancy you.

I bet you have some physical attributes that you find attractive though? I'll guarantee there are things you find less physically attractive? For me it's white blonde/ ginger guys. Not in the least bit sorry if that offends.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

I'm not trying to wind up or offend anyone here. Your explanation doesn't sound like a firm black or not black preference, which I fully understand. The OP was referring to the situations where profiles explicitly say "no black guys" or "BBC only". That is more the query under discussion (well, it is to me). Of course we all have preferences and perhaps "types" of people we are more drawn towards but that's different to excluding an entire race of people.

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By *iss LovelyWoman over a year ago

Here and There

There are plenty of us ladies on here that just appreciate a black man without the BBC label. Don’t be put off.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm not trying to wind up or offend anyone here. Your explanation doesn't sound like a firm black or not black preference, which I fully understand. The OP was referring to the situations where profiles explicitly say "no black guys" or "BBC only". That is more the query under discussion (well, it is to me). Of course we all have preferences and perhaps "types" of people we are more drawn towards but that's different to excluding an entire race of people. "

This! And also I just said preferences are pretty normal, but you can’t get preference confused with ruling out an entire race of people. Something one commenter on the thread has already done.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have to say I don't really understand it myself. Not every black guy is either good looking or does he live up to the stereotype. So surely saying I'm looking for BBC means they'll shag any black guy. For me if I find a bloke or woman attractive it has nothing to do with the colour of their skin. We had a meet with a single black guy this week because I found him attractive and there were no dick pics on his profile, a refreshing change in itself!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It’s really common on here, as a Londoner I see it in every 3rd profile local to me & I’ve asked friends (obviously black) & some take offence to it & have no time for it whilst others encourage it for obvious reasons.

Also likely why I decided to go with my profile name as race seems to be important to most on the site in my local area.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

If anyone feels the thread is too intense I would like to lighten it up by saying it could be worse, we could be discussing the bbc funded by your licence fee.

But for those not put off by the topic, do carry on

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By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

"It’s really common on here, as a Londoner I see it in every 3rd profile local to me & I’ve asked friends (obviously black) & some take offence to it & have no time for it whilst others encourage it for obvious reasons.

Also likely why I decided to go with my profile name as race seems to be important to most on the site in my local area."

All I'd want to know is "ARE YOU SPARTA?" and do you come with one of those fetching leather skirt thingies on?! If not, I don't want to know

*Off to update profile preferences*

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Also likely why I decided to go with my profile name as race seems to be important to most on the site in my local area."

I wonder if fab is a reflection of society then. Maybe people, obviously not us in the thread, but people really do care about race when it comes to sex/ dating. Perhaps I’ve been a bit naive here but forgive me- I’m only young.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Also likely why I decided to go with my profile name as race seems to be important to most on the site in my local area.

All I'd want to know is "ARE YOU SPARTA?" and do you come with one of those fetching leather skirt thingies on?! If not, I don't want to know

*Off to update profile preferences*

Ohhh if only you knew

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Also likely why I decided to go with my profile name as race seems to be important to most on the site in my local area.

I’d say wherever you get groups of people you will see the local societal influence on them but admittedly I can’t say I’ve come across this ‘BBC’ attitude anywhere else but this site, admittedly I’m not overly experienced myself.

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By *aidForSharingWoman over a year ago

Lancs

Read how black guys on here advertise themselves: horsecock, donkey kong, black bull etc. And advertise themselves with pics of their cocks. It's hard to elevate and respect when they don't seem to want it themselves.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Read how black guys on here advertise themselves: horsecock, donkey kong, black bull etc. And advertise themselves with pics of their cocks. It's hard to elevate and respect when they don't seem to want it themselves."

Don't generalise we don't all describe ourselves that way

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By *SAchickWoman over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Don't generalise we don't all describe ourselves that way

Correct. And men of all races post dick pics and advertise themselves as hung, or VWE.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

ok, thanks anyways.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I do find it a bit uncomfortable how some people fetishise black men (and trans too), think they forget they are human beings. But there again you do have some black and trans individuals who fire it up and provoke it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I do find it a bit uncomfortable how some people fetishise black men (and trans too), think they forget they are human beings. But there again you do have some black and trans individuals who fire it up and provoke it."

Personally I think gotta avoid people that do the things that make us uncomfortable. Especially on a site like fab. It’s about feeling good.

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By *hMyGawdCouple over a year ago

Midlands

All genders, sexualities and races are fetishised and objectified to some extent, by some people.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I get it too...people asking me if I’m a Spartan & get blocked when I say no. It’s mad out here fam

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I get it too...people asking me if I’m a Spartan & get blocked when I say no. It’s mad out here fam

That’s MAD

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've always cringed at the bbc thing and it seems to be a fetish for some people, I've never quite understood it I just think if you find someone attractive it shouldn't matter what colour skin they have and unfortunately I have seen profiles that say "no black or asians" etc sadly there's racism even here where youd think most people would be much more open minded and accepting

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By *andy cane321Couple over a year ago

Aylesbury

We have no preference to colour, we have met with black guys, we dont have a BBC fetish and would never advertise specifically for a black guy, i know a lot of couples that will only meet with BBC but lets be honest there not all big, people have different kinks, its a thing just like some will only meet peoples of a certain age, I'd take it as a compliment that people have a preference for black cock

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By *JonaMan over a year ago

walsall

Each to there own we like what we like , I just like pussy lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The BBC label we find off-putting, fetishised and demeaning. People are people, no two cocks are the same. But the one thing we find even more abhorrent, is the Queen Of Spades tattoos. How on earth people think this is a positive fetishism is beyond us...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I've always cringed at the bbc thing and it seems to be a fetish for some people, I've never quite understood it I just think if you find someone attractive it shouldn't matter what colour skin they have and unfortunately I have seen profiles that say "no black or asians" etc sadly there's racism even here where youd think most people would be much more open minded and accepting "

‘No Asian’ is a very common one. Honestly reading some profiles is like reading something out of a different decade.

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By *andVCouple over a year ago

Doncaster

Quick question, if a white woman prefers black men only is that racism? I think preference can definitely be a thing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"The BBC label we find off-putting, fetishised and demeaning. People are people, no two cocks are the same. But the one thing we find even more abhorrent, is the Queen Of Spades tattoos. How on earth people think this is a positive fetishism is beyond us..."

These are a huge red flag. These people are straight out of the movie ‘Get Out’.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Quick question, if a white woman prefers black men only is that racism? I think preference can definitely be a thing."

If she prefers as in is more attracted to, it’s not racism although her reasons for preferring maybe racist (overspecialisation, racial stereotypes, dark skin=more masculine myths etc). However if she says she, a white woman, doesn’t find white men at all attractive, that’s different. That would be odd I think.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

These are a huge red flag. These people are straight out of the movie ‘Get Out’.

Off topic but a fantastic, thought provoking thriller movie!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

These are a huge red flag. These people are straight out of the movie ‘Get Out’.

Off topic but a fantastic, thought provoking thriller movie!"

Isn’t it? I actually thought it was pretty on topic. The film is a good look at some of the things discussed in this thread.

If any haven’t seen, would definitely recommend

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

These are a huge red flag. These people are straight out of the movie ‘Get Out’.

Off topic but a fantastic, thought provoking thriller movie!

Isn’t it? I actually thought it was pretty on topic. The film is a good look at some of the things discussed in this thread.

If any haven’t seen, would definitely recommend

"
that’s ‘isn’t it’ as in isn’t it a fantastic movie?! Lol

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By *ungle_kingMan over a year ago

Nuneaton

I'm glad I come across this subject. I get the whole this is a sex site but myself personally don't like the racial element of the BBC culture. You can't on one hand want to be treated equally and not singled out but on here those rules go out the window. People like who they like be it white, black, Asian etc but as in porn it's very much the same.

The Sex scene seems exempt from any rules on racial slur. It's become just accepted

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By *adyA01Woman over a year ago

Wellington

I am a lady who is attracted to black guys...and that doesn't mean all black guys...my last serious relationship was with a black guy... I think the term BBC wound me up more than it did him...

We had a couple's profile and I couldn't stand it when we got messages referring to him as BBC...he was my boyfriend/partner, lover and best friend...so any messages we received where I felt he wasn't being referred too appropriately they would get blocked... My attraction to black guys is not a fetish, any man I want to get intimate with I like to get to know a bit first...a good personality comes very high on my list when making a decision..

To be fair there is a large proportion of black guys who advertise themselves as BBC... It's not my place to judge how anyone advertises themselves that is upto them...

But what I can do is look past that term and get to know the person behind the profile

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

These are a huge red flag. These people are straight out of the movie ‘Get Out’.

Off topic but a fantastic, thought provoking thriller movie!

Isn’t it? I actually thought it was pretty on topic. The film is a good look at some of the things discussed in this thread.

If any haven’t seen, would definitely recommend

Daniel Kaluyah (spelling is probably wrong) has come a long way from his character in skins. But even in skins his character tried to push away from stereotypes. Getting caught up having a laugh with his mates busting into a brap brap wagwan brethren and ting, then apologises in a posh voice saying awfully sorry, I seem to have got a bit carried away there...

A quality actor.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

These are a huge red flag. These people are straight out of the movie ‘Get Out’.

Off topic but a fantastic, thought provoking thriller movie!

Isn’t it? I actually thought it was pretty on topic. The film is a good look at some of the things discussed in this thread.

If any haven’t seen, would definitely recommend

A quality actor. "

Please don’t kill me but I haven’t watched skins

I first saw him in Black Mirror and again played a very interesting character that challenged perceptions. He is a fabulous actor, love love LOVE to see him shining. - also great in the recent Queen and Slim which is also amazing. Sorry I’m geeking out here

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By *os19Man over a year ago

Edmonton

‘No Asian’ is a very common one. Honestly reading some profiles is like reading something out of a different decade. "
. You are right No Asian is so common on Fabs.I am quite dark that I am asked if I am Asian after seeing threads and profiles regarding No Asian I thought it best to put on my profile Greek Cypriot born and raised in London.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I am a lady who is attracted to black guys...and that doesn't mean all black guys...my last serious relationship was with a black guy... I think the term BBC wound me up more than it did him...

To be fair there is a large proportion of black guys who advertise themselves as BBC... It's not my place to judge how anyone advertises themselves that is upto them...

But what I can do is look past that term and get to know the person behind the profile

Again I feel like on fab I don’t wanna be a killjoy but then that ship has likely sailed. But I think a lot of black guys have internalised the term. I mean it’s a term that no doubt comes from racist/racial stereotypes but is so commonplace in porn/sex industries that it is no surprise that it’s used by black guys. There’s a myth that a racial stereotype like that can be ‘good’ but given the history of its origins, it isn’t. But for some guys it gets them a fuck and I won’t deny them a fuck on the grounds of them not respecting themselves, that’s for their sexual partners to do.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

‘No Asian’ is a very common one. Honestly reading some profiles is like reading something out of a different decade. . You are right No Asian is so common on Fabs.I am quite dark that I am asked if I am Asian after seeing threads and profiles regarding No Asian I thought it best to put on my profile Greek Cypriot born and raised in London."

Wow, sorry about that. And equally this just highlights how horrible it must feel to read something like that and not be able to say you don’t actually belong to said, excluded group. - if someone asks me if I’m black, even if I wanted to I couldn’t say no and get away with it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Bookmarking this thread. Some great responses and views given.

I say often ethnicity has no bearing on sexual ability so why people target a race to fetishise is beyond me. I understand the preference thing especially when that is supported and enhanced by personality and individuality.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

These are a huge red flag. These people are straight out of the movie ‘Get Out’.

Off topic but a fantastic, thought provoking thriller movie!

Isn’t it? I actually thought it was pretty on topic. The film is a good look at some of the things discussed in this thread.

If any haven’t seen, would definitely recommend

A quality actor.

Please don’t kill me but I haven’t watched skins

Will check those out. He was a writer on skins as well, great show that tried and hopefully succeeded in breaking down barriers in relation to religion, mental health and sexuality, as well as race.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Bookmarking this thread. Some great responses and views given.

It has been insightful and (weirdly) therapeutic. This validation is enough for me to sleep easy

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

These are a huge red flag. These people are straight out of the movie ‘Get Out’.

Off topic but a fantastic, thought provoking thriller movie!

Isn’t it? I actually thought it was pretty on topic. The film is a good look at some of the things discussed in this thread.

If any haven’t seen, would definitely recommend

A quality actor.

Please don’t kill me but I haven’t watched skins

Will check those out. He was a writer on skins as well, great show that tried and hopefully succeeded in breaking down barriers in relation to religion, mental health and sexuality, as well as race."

And I will watch Skins and if we pass by in a thread again I’ll be sure to let you know my thoughts! - thank you

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By *andVCouple over a year ago

Doncaster

Quick question, if a white woman prefers black men only is that racism? I think preference can definitely be a thing.

Agreed, the reason I ask the question is that we all have our own preferences in who we find attractive, and what features we look for in those we generally find attractive, some people love bums, some more into boobs, some loves blondes and other brunettes etc etc, there are plenty of women on this site who explicitly are only interested in meeting black guys, and we all take it as a given that it's a preference it's what "there into".

But I've seen quite a lot recently that if somebody who puts not looking for black or Asian meets, I'ts taken as a given that it's racially motivated, when I'm sure for the most part it's just preference, like with me there are very few black women I've ever found attractive, ashanti is probably the only exception lol but that doesn't come from any racial or social prejudice It's just purely a fact. We all like what we like and I think some times were quick to label people we don't share the same preferences with.

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By *j48Man over a year ago

Wigan

So why do a white married couple specify BBC only?

Racist, or colourist as a minimum..

I wonder why black guys don't scream out that's racist?

I only want a white Doctor as an example would I'm sure have the racist card played..

People are people irrespective of colour or creed.

BBC is purely a fantasy or a desire based on the assumption that black guys are all hung like donkeys. Maybe so, but I've yet to see one that can stand to attention...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Quick question, if a white woman prefers black men only is that racism? I think preference can definitely be a thing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I can’t seem to sleep so I’ll bite on some posts above.

This entire thread is about the problems with/ effects on feelings when, fetishising and using terms like ‘BBC’ or when suggesting you don’t find an entire race attractive.

I don’t want to get into a discussion in which I have to explain why one thing is racist and another is not. I try to be polite but I fear I’d just come off condescending.- This is fab, I’m not a teacher and something tells me not everyone is willing to learn; we’re here to have fun, sometimes even have sex!

But I’ll just say that only wanting to be seen by a white doctor is racist and isn’t comparable to the situations being discussed.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

Also likely why I decided to go with my profile name as race seems to be important to most on the site in my local area.

All I'd want to know is "ARE YOU SPARTA?" and do you come with one of those fetching leather skirt thingies on?! If not, I don't want to know

*Off to update profile preferences*

Ohhh if only you knew

Wanna share?! *Note, must send face pic, dick pic, skirt pic and use the subject line "tonight we dine in hell" or else the message will be deleted and the pseudo-Spartan blocked*

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By *andVCouple over a year ago

Doncaster

"I can’t seem to sleep so I’ll bite on some posts above.

This entire thread is about the problems with/ effects on feelings when, fetishising and using terms like ‘BBC’ or when suggesting you don’t find an entire race attractive.

But I’ll just say that only wanting to be seen by a white doctor is racist and isn’t comparable to the situations being discussed.

With waiting times to see a doctor I'd be happy to see a blue one wearing a clown suit if it gets you seen haha

My point wasn't to be as serious as it came across, just pointing out that people seem to forget we are all here for a reason and all have are own preferences and shouldn't get hung up too much on the wording, if you read something your not comfortable with or think they will only be interested in you for the wrong or stereotypical reasons then give those people a wide berth. Honesty is a good filter.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I can’t seem to sleep so I’ll bite on some posts above.

This entire thread is about the problems with/ effects on feelings when, fetishising and using terms like ‘BBC’ or when suggesting you don’t find an entire race attractive.

But I’ll just say that only wanting to be seen by a white doctor is racist and isn’t comparable to the situations being discussed.

With waiting times to see a doctor I'd be happy to see a blue one wearing a clown suit if it gets you seen haha

Perhaps I’m being unfair. Profiles stating ‘no black/bbc/ black guys’ or with ‘BBC only’ make or have made fab seem like a place where I and perhaps other black guys shouldn’t invest time in. But that’s me; if you don’t see it to be the case or a problem then I don’t know what to say. I’m a product of a ‘PC snowflake generation’. - take it up with management

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Also likely why I decided to go with my profile name as race seems to be important to most on the site in my local area.

All I'd want to know is "ARE YOU SPARTA?" and do you come with one of those fetching leather skirt thingies on?! If not, I don't want to know

*Off to update profile preferences*

Ohhh if only you knew

Wanna share?! *Note, must send face pic, dick pic, skirt pic and use the subject line "tonight we dine in hell" or else the message will be deleted and the pseudo-Spartan blocked*

Ohhh I have chosen my words carefully person, perhaps you should have done the same! (Your lines) * kicked down the hole * THIS.IS.SPARTA!!

Now, i’ve got rid of them two we can continue this informative thread

Sorry folks

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By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

Also likely why I decided to go with my profile name as race seems to be important to most on the site in my local area.

All I'd want to know is "ARE YOU SPARTA?" and do you come with one of those fetching leather skirt thingies on?! If not, I don't want to know

*Off to update profile preferences*

Ohhh if only you knew

Wanna share?! *Note, must send face pic, dick pic, skirt pic and use the subject line "tonight we dine in hell" or else the message will be deleted and the pseudo-Spartan blocked*

Ohhh I have chosen my words carefully person, perhaps you should have done the same! (Your lines) * kicked down the hole * THIS.IS.SPARTA!!

Now, i’ve got rid of them two we can continue this informative thread

Sorry folks

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This! The term makes me cringe. So objectifying and clearly rooted in derogatory stereotyping. But then, when it comes to what you do in le boudoir, who am I to judge!

People get pumped full of sex hormones and say/do some pretty bizarre shit...

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By *.LBCouple over a year ago

South

Wifes preference, Each to their own,

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We don't differentiate between skin colour, race, etc. and don't see such things as fetish. We both have been with black people before. It's the person, their values and like-mindedness that counts.

Mrs

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By *oan of DArcCouple over a year ago

Glasgow

"I can't stand it.

To be fair I believe it's perfectly fine to say you're black, it's merely a description like saying you're a blonde, redhead, thin, fat etc.

But the BBC Brigade are buying into the fetishization of black men by some white singles and couples. If there wasn't a 'market' for it they wouldn't make a feature of it, but as some posters have said I think it's crass and demeaning, similar to the women who describe themselves as Queen of Spades.

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By *oan of DArcCouple over a year ago

Glasgow

The issue isn't the preference it's the way it's expressed.

Personally I (as a black male) get 'hung up' by the term BBC because it's increasingly common usage legitimises its use to the point where it appears to be ok to refer to all black men this way, we regularly receive such messages.

If white women were routinely referred to as 'WC' (white cunts), I think the offensive nature of 'BBC' would be better understood.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I can't stand it.

To be fair I believe it's perfectly fine to say you're black, it's merely a description like saying you're a blonde, redhead, thin, fat etc.

‘BBC brigade’ made me lol.

No, but as I said, I do think that the word has been internalised by some and by others it’s used purely for personal gain even though it may well even feel wrong.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

The issue isn't the preference it's the way it's expressed.

If white women were routinely referred to as 'WC' (white cunts), I think the offensive nature of 'BBC' would be better understood."

I think, although few think about it this deep, we have to think about where the term comes from. There’s a lot of racist history behind it which means even comparing it to something like ‘WC’ doesn’t do it justice. Personally it’s mad to me that the word is so commonplace on the sex/porn/dating/swinging scene. Which is why having not used dating/swinging sites until now I’m shocked and a bit uncomfortable with it. But as I said before, perhaps I’m a product of my PC, snowflake generation.

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By *adyA01Woman over a year ago

Wellington

"I am a lady who is attracted to black guys...and that doesn't mean all black guys...my last serious relationship was with a black guy... I think the term BBC wound me up more than it did him...

To be fair there is a large proportion of black guys who advertise themselves as BBC... It's not my place to judge how anyone advertises themselves that is upto them...

But what I can do is look past that term and get to know the person behind the profile

Surely if they are using the term to describe themselves, they don't have an issue with it or see it as disrespecting themselves, if the term offended them they wouldn't use it??? Some black guys find it offensive and some don't...like I said before, I didn't like the term when it was used to describe my ex partner, I felt it was objectifying him... Everyone has different thoughts and opinions don't they...I guess all you can do is bypass the profiles that cause you offence and concentrate on the ones that don't...

Plenty of profiles on here looking for slim gym fit ladies, I do not fit into that category...I'm not offended I just walk on by...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I am a lady who is attracted to black guys...and that doesn't mean all black guys...my last serious relationship was with a black guy... I think the term BBC wound me up more than it did him...

To be fair there is a large proportion of black guys who advertise themselves as BBC... It's not my place to judge how anyone advertises themselves that is upto them...

But what I can do is look past that term and get to know the person behind the profile

Plenty of profiles on here looking for slim gym fit ladies, I do not fit into that category...I'm not offended I just walk on by... "

If they don’t have an issue with it then of course they won’t see it that way. Them not seeing it that way won’t make it any less offensive. Is what it is.

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By *ungle_kingMan over a year ago

Nuneaton

Would they have an issue with it on a night out if they were called a black so so and so?

in a world where racism is effecting so many I just find it difficult to understand people don't mind being called a black this and a black that on here but then be potentially offended in the street if somebody mentioned the colour of their skin.

That's just my personal view but it has been intresting and a little educational reading the responses on here. There is no right or wrong Just a good discussion.

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By *aitonelMan over a year ago

Liverpool

Pardon the pun/word usage but I don't think it is as black and white as some like to make out.

Physical and sexual attraction is an extremely complex and personal thing that we have very limited control over but as people has a broad spectrum for differences.

For some it will be a racism thing. For some it will be a fetish thing. For some they just don't get aroused by a skin colour. Just as how some women feel nothing for small/large penis, while others will only be with the other. This is something that the man can't change either (at least not much).

Regardless of their reasons, people should not have to justify their sexual attractions or their choices when it comes to sex. Even if it appears to be racism or just a fetish, so long as the way they treat a person in all other aspects of life is inclusive.

The way they advertise it I fully agree with you on that, what's the need to announce it!? To me that says more than not being sexually attracted.

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By *aitonelMan over a year ago

Liverpool

The way they advertise it I fully agree with you on that, what's the need to announce it!? To me that says more than not being sexually attracted."

To clarify I also mean the choice of words too. BBC etc don't feel there is a need.

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By *aitonelMan over a year ago

Liverpool

The issue isn't the preference it's the way it's expressed.

If white women were routinely referred to as 'WC' (white cunts), I think the offensive nature of 'BBC' would be better understood."

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

"Pardon the pun/word usage but I don't think it is as black and white as some like to make out.

Physical and sexual attraction is an extremely complex and personal thing that we have very limited control over but as people has a broad spectrum for differences.

The way they advertise it I fully agree with you on that, what's the need to announce it!? To me that says more than not being sexually attracted."

Nail on head.

You're right that sexual attraction is a very personal thing and it's fine to have completely irrational and even prejudiced bases for attraction.

On the other hand if you can see why statements like "no blacks or Asians" is offensive, that's slightly worrying.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

Can't see!

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By *oan of DArcCouple over a year ago

Glasgow

Plenty of profiles on here looking for slim gym fit ladies, I do not fit into that category...I'm not offended I just walk on by... "

I appreciate what you say but (for me) the issue isn't expressing a preference it's the way it's done.

There may be many men/couples seeking 'slim, gym fit ladies', nothing wrong with that at all, but if 'slim, gym fit cunts' was used routinely to describe them them that might be a different matter.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I just find black men attractive

don't see it as a fetish for myself

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Pardon the pun/word usage but I don't think it is as black and white as some like to make out.

Physical and sexual attraction is an extremely complex and personal thing that we have very limited control over but as people has a broad spectrum for differences.

The way they advertise it I fully agree with you on that, what's the need to announce it!? To me that says more than not being sexually attracted."

Absolutely, it’s a complex issue. It’s why I apologised before bringing up race in this context because it only adds to that complexity (Plus I don’t want to be labelled that race obsessed guy). I’m not trying to take away the agency of individuals and but I think it’s naive to think or suggest that one’s ability to not find someone attractive on the basis of skin colour or features associated with race (hair type for example) has nothing to do with racism whether that be conscious or unconscious.

I don’t think people should justify or feel like they need to justify their reasons I only wanted to highlight the effects of the way that these ‘preferences’ are expressed on here.

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By *oan of DArcCouple over a year ago

Glasgow

‘BBC brigade’ made me lol.

Watch out, they're invading a swingers club near you!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Wifes preference, Each to their own, "

It’s nice to see that her love for black men is such that she married one

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"On the other hand if you can see why statements like "no blacks or Asians" is offensive, that's slightly worrying. "

Yes!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/02/20 10:24:41]

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

‘BBC brigade’ made me lol.

Watch out, they're invading a swingers club near you!

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By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

‘BBC brigade’ made me lol.

Watch out, they're invading a swingers club near you!

This is true, actually (No.3 Club, Chorley.....)

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

‘BBC brigade’ made me lol.

Watch out, they're invading a swingers club near you!

This is true, actually (No.3 Club, Chorley.....)

‘BMFC’ nights. - The defence rests, your honour.

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By *uckoldandWifeCouple over a year ago

Manchester

totally agree with the OP, the fetishising of black men is even more extreme in cuckolding.

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By *oan of DArcCouple over a year ago

Glasgow

"Wifes preference, Each to their own,

It’s nice to see that her love for black men is such that she married one

Or maybe like my wife she 'married one' because I was a decent bloke who happened to be black!

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By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

‘BBC brigade’ made me lol.

Watch out, they're invading a swingers club near you!

This is true, actually (No.3 Club, Chorley.....)

‘BMFC’ nights. - The defence rests, your honour.

The jury shall be discharged

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Wifes preference, Each to their own,

It’s nice to see that her love for black men is such that she married one

Or maybe like my wife she 'married one' because I was a decent bloke who happened to be black!"

And not just for you’re cock.

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By *hoot45Man over a year ago

Ramsgate

"I just find black men attractive

don't see it as a fetish for myself"

Same here - I met a mature black guy in Leeds some years ago and he was so friendly, laid back and funny that I hoped to repeat the experience but bi curious and bi black guys are not very evident here - but I live in hope lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"totally agree with the OP, the fetishising of black men is even more extreme in cuckolding.

omg yes! - It is.

Didn’t even mention but I’ve had some very racist offers from couples to do with cuckolding.

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By *oan of DArcCouple over a year ago

Glasgow

"Wifes preference, Each to their own,

It’s nice to see that her love for black men is such that she married one

Or maybe like my wife she 'married one' because I was a decent bloke who happened to be black!

And not just for you’re cock.

If that's a novelty it soon wears off, especially as there's nothing exceptional about my cock.

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By *laymateteeMan over a year ago

bristol

"Would they have an issue with it on a night out if they were called a black so so and so?

That's just my personal view but it has been intresting and a little educational reading the responses on here. There is no right or wrong Just a good discussion. "

We don't mind being called black weather it's on a night out ,in a train in the rain or in spain coz that is who we are. Calling a person black is not racist. What OP is pointing out is the BBC label that most of us just don't like being called by or grouped into.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

"totally agree with the OP, the fetishising of black men is even more extreme in cuckolding.

omg yes! - It is.

Didn’t even mention but I’ve had some very racist offers from couples to do with cuckolding.

Indeed.. At least be honest "yes we want black guys because we find the stereotype of virile savage black men deflowering white women exciting" *rather than wanting pricisely that and claiming its just "preference"

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By *oan of DArcCouple over a year ago

Glasgow

Well said, I'm not sure why this is so hard to understand!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/02/20 11:04:47]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m sorry op for how you fee ( genuinely) but fab isn’t a place where you should take things too serious, let’s face it, it’s a site where we are surrounded by choice.. big tits, small tits, bbw, bi, beer bellies, smokers, +40 -35 etc etc etc... we are on here to get accomplish what we fantasise about and we shouldn’t feel demonised because of it, sorry to say op but if some people want BBC then so be it, fetish comes in all different packages and its sad that some of you see it as racism, if that’s the case then interracial porn and BMFC events up and down the country that come in all different guises should be banned and more importantly ( this is controversial ) we see plenty of black males advertising themselves just as that because it’s their fantasy to be just that as well... to say it’s racist is so blinkered... sorry

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple over a year ago

Birmingham

"to say it’s racist is so blinkered... sorry"

I find it interesting when someone's examples of what they appear to think is "going to the extreme" actually sounds pretty sane. Racial issues are always going to be difficult for all sorts of reasons. It's not blinkered to feel uncomfortable with a lack of progress in parts of society. There are good cases, in many situations, for thinking it's fine, thinking it's not... For every black guy that loves being fetishized, another one does not, and there's a larger picture that a bunch of individual opinions. I have female family members who live for buying shoes and love not having to work, are happy to be the stay at home wife, don't have any political position etc... And that's their right, but to say that therefore a lack of those opportunities for all women would not be sexist is clearly absurd...

Happily I've a feeling that like so many other issues, at some point in the not too distant future, no one (worth listening to) will even consider it a thing to question, just like slavery being bad, children not going to school being bad... Society shifts towards the better in this way. Mostly.

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By *oan of DArcCouple over a year ago

Glasgow

"I’m sorry op for how you fee ( genuinely) but fab isn’t a place where you should take things too serious, let’s face it, it’s a site where we are surrounded by choice.. big tits, small tits, bbw, bi, beer bellies, smokers, +40 -35 etc etc etc... we are on here to get accomplish what we fantasise about and we shouldn’t feel demonised because of it, sorry to say op but if some people want BBC then so be it, fetish comes in all different packages and its sad that some of you see it as racism, if that’s the case then interracial porn and BMFC events up and down the country that come in all different guises should be banned and more importantly ( this is controversial ) we see plenty of black males advertising themselves just as that because it’s their fantasy to be just that as well... to say it’s racist is so blinkered... sorry"

If you read on in the thread you'll see that few are complaining about a racial preference being expressed.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't see the preference for black men or BMFC events etc as racist, people have preferences after all.

BBC is a little different as leaving race element aside for a moment it hints that said owner of BBC is there merely for their dick and nothing else?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"to say it’s racist is so blinkered... sorry

This is so well put!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

We’ve gone slightly off topic but I’ve enjoyed the discussion; it’s refreshing and has been open and honest. I just want to add that just because some don’t take offence or it is commonplace that does not make it okay. I feel like the thread has become about people debating whether or not using the term ‘BBC’ is or isn’t racist and that argument that it isn’t, hinges on the fact that black men apply the label to themselves. But objectively (being as objective as I can be), looking at the term, it’s clearly loaded and is based on a history of racial stereotypes which have had historically bad implications. As said, some will have no issue with it and will even use it themselves, that doesn’t mean it’s an okay term to use

We can if you’d prefer have a discussion about racism, why these things have a lot to do with racism and why (more to the original point) dating/sex markets can be exclusionary. But I don’t think people are really open to those conversations because those topics are even more uncomfortable than the original one.

I can struggle to articulate myself well but if anyone wants to have a more in depth conversation, I’m happy to discuss further privately or on the thread idm. HMU

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If someone changed their profile from 'Looking for a BBC' to 'Looking for a black guy with a big cock.' Would this be more acceptable? In other words, is it the term BBC that offends, or is it that they are expressing a preference for a certain skin colour? Genuine question

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If someone changed their profile from 'Looking for a BBC' to 'Looking for a black guy with a big cock.' Would this be more acceptable? In other words, is it the term BBC that offends, or is it that they are expressing a preference for a certain skin colour? Genuine question"

Depends on the person I suppose. Some men play on being black and large penised, some men prefer to be seen as a bit more and being black is just an ordinary part of who they are not entirely what they are.

As a black woman i prefer a chap to message and say hey Mz Tarty loved your profile fancy a chat rather than omg i love black women, your skin is this and your hair is that and your pussies taste like the other.

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By *oan of DArcCouple over a year ago

Glasgow

For me it's the term, particularly when it's used to describe black men, as it's dehumanising and objectifies..which for many black folks has negative resonance historically.

Surely it can't be too difficult to express a preference by saying black male or a black man with a large cock?!

Personally I can't wait for the day when a person's skin colour is incidental to who they are!

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple over a year ago

Birmingham

Is it just me, or is this the most thoughtful and considered version of this thread ever? I'm impressed...

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By *oan of DArcCouple over a year ago

Glasgow

"Is it just me, or is this the most thoughtful and considered version of this thread ever? I'm impressed..."

No, it's not just you, I'm in total agreement!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

This is more specific. I find that a lot of the time people say ‘BBC’ not as a descriptor but as a general term for a black guy. Some people aren’t interested in size, just the fact you’re black so why label, a person btw, as a ‘BBC’ ?

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple over a year ago

Birmingham

I guess it just comes down to a lack of thoughtfulness around it. We get messages from "BBC" guys where their photos really prove otherwise. I don't know quite how to judge it when they do it, but I'd generally be inclined to think it's just a general lack of engagement again. No reason to care, and maybe it'll help them get laid, so why not..?

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By *oan of DArcCouple over a year ago

Glasgow

"... For every black guy that loves being fetishized, another one does not, and there's a larger picture that a bunch of individual opinions."

This is a good point ^^^

Blacks are do often considered as a homologous group, including their genitals!

Having lived for all my life in white society I'm well aware of its nuances, and range of opinions.

For instance everyone understands that Celtic fans don't generally get on with Rangers ones, some white folks have ginger hair, others blonde-the fact is they're all different and those differences can be expressed depending on context or circumstances, nobody would believe that referring to all white females as 'white sluts etc' would be ok just because some choose to describe themselves this way.

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By *hoot45Man over a year ago

Ramsgate

"Is it just me, or is this the most thoughtful and considered version of this thread ever? I'm impressed..."

I agree - we’ve had threads like this frequently and they’ve usually turned into rants by now

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm in the middle, I don't mind it being a focal point of someone's interest since I'm not going to magically stop being a black guy they like looking at, its if gets to the point where it's the only thing they have to say i guess and you're like "ok...sure, you mentioned it several times now...I get it"

I do get what OP is saying though, it can make you feel almost like an animal the way some people are when talking about it and sometimes you just want to be genuinely attractive and not "That BBC guy"

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Is it just me, or is this the most thoughtful and considered version of this thread ever? I'm impressed...

I agree - we’ve had threads like this frequently and they’ve usually turned into rants by now "

This is really good though. I’ve obviously not been on forums long enough to have seen the topic come up before but I think it’s so important that in general we approach topics like this with the view to learn if we’re unsure and that if we don’t just shout at people because that doesn’t make progress any easier.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I do get what OP is saying though, it can make you feel almost like an animal the way some people are when talking about it and sometimes you just want to be genuinely attractive and not "That BBC guy"

This was exactly my original question. Like, it doesn’t make me feel any better that you’re interested in me as some ‘BBC’. Am I oversensitive for that? Perhaps. But probably because of my experiences more generally more than anything.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nothing oversensitive about it, you like being valued for more than just he fact you're black with a big dick, same as someone not taking a liking to being thicc and that the only thing someone sees in them (not the same but was he only example I could think of just now) - I mean I personally dont mind if it's just fun , its only for a relationship I'd be annoyed with it.

Your feelings about the issue are justified though bro

Sometimes people mention it because it's new to them and they have an extreme lack of experience with black people as a whole (like in smaller areas where there are genuinely low to zero amount of black people around so sometimes it comes from that and it's this grand fantasy that is boiled down to "BBC NOW PLZ"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/02/20 15:00:05]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you read on in the thread you'll see that few are complaining about a racial preference being expressed."

Why is that racist?

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple over a year ago

Birmingham

"If you read on in the thread you'll see that few are complaining about a racial preference being expressed.

Why is that racist?"

Well as above this is NOT meant to be that conversation but ... Why is explicitly broadcasting that you won't talk to people of a minority ethnicity, whether they have approached you or not, racist...? Again, hopefully one day this will feel like a rhetorical question to everyone. You wouldn't wear a badge to a social with "No Blacks or Asians" on it now, would you?

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By *oan of DArcCouple over a year ago

Glasgow

If you read on in the thread you'll see that few are complaining about a racial preference being expressed.

Why is that racist?"

It isn't, not sure of your point!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Your feelings about the issue are justified though bro

You’re right. Man when I moved out of London the treatment was MAD. But I appreciate your response bro. Thank you

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By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

Some of us regional types have seen black guys before and appreciate that guys are guys and not objects. If you're cute, you're cute. If you're a dick, you're a dick. Your skin pigmentation does not affect these things in my view anyway! I find guys of all races and skin tones attractive for different reasons.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Some of us regional types have seen black guys before and appreciate that guys are guys and not objects. If you're cute, you're cute. If you're a dick, you're a dick. Your skin pigmentation does not affect these things in my view anyway! I find guys of all races and skin tones attractive for different reasons. "

You guys are the good ones.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

People like what they like. If they don't like something it's not necessarily prejudiced. I don't like fantasy films/TV, they just don't interest me. I'd love to get into Lord of the Rings of Game of Thrones but they just leave me cold. Same as in games, I've tried loads of RPGs but I don't bother now as it's not worth the time, effort or money considering the slim chance that I might like it. I've got sexual preferences and I'm sure others have too. As long as people are not rude, I defend their right to state that they prefer not to be contacted by people with certain characteristics x

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple over a year ago

Birmingham

"People like what they like. If they don't like something it's not necessarily prejudiced. I don't like fantasy films/TV, they just don't interest me. I'd love to get into Lord of the Rings of Game of Thrones but they just leave me cold. Same as in games, I've tried loads of RPGs but I don't bother now as it's not worth the time, effort or money considering the slim chance that I might like it. I've got sexual preferences and I'm sure others have too. As long as people are not rude, I defend their right to state that they prefer not to be contacted by people with certain characteristics x"

You appear to have totally misunderstood the question.

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I have no problem with a preference, i have issues sometimes with the way that preference is expressed

for example... being extreme, there is a difference between "no black guys" and "no N*****S"......

like i said if the language you are using can be perceived to be turning off some of the very people you are trying to attract, then is it really the "culling/Trimming" tool you want to use.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You appear to have totally misunderstood the question. "

Just too lazy to pay attention x

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By *TJxComboMan over a year ago

birmingham

Just stay true to yourself OP, If you pay attention it's quite obvious who the genuine ladies that like black guy's are as opposed to fetish lovers

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

No different to young men seeking cougars, men seeking bbws etc.

I've never advertised myself as bbw or made reference to my colour. I like sub men so my username is a giveaway, a ready reckoner so people can make informed choices.

Problems arise when people think "all" are the same. How many times have you read "older women know what they want" or "bbws are more confident". One size doesn't fit all.

If some men like the BBC thing, not my place to say they shouldn't. Just don't assume all black men like it.

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple over a year ago

Birmingham

"No different to young men seeking cougars, men seeking bbws etc.

Absolutely very very different

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By *ensualMan over a year ago

Sutton

I have tried to keep out of this argument but I will put in my tuppence on one point. My profile states my view on the BBC tag.

I apologise in advance for the scatter gun approach as I am in a hurry. Likewise no intent to offend anyone I am just putting forward a point of view.

There is a really good podcast called something like black and kinky lifestyle which is made by a black American couple in the lifestyle. They received a message similar to the point on preferences, but the preference they were asked about was red hair. Their response was as follow amended to take into account the British context and the points in the thread.

You have to look at history and culture. There has been no colonial empire of BbW's or cougars. There is no 200 year history of slavery and follow in discrimination against BBws or cougars or the need to enact of legislation to prevent discrimination against BBws or cougers in housing or employment (putting aside the lack of representation of women at senior level of business).

So comparing these other stereotypes and race is not comparing apples with apples.

I hate the term "BBC" with a passion. I give the example just because some women call themselves "sluts" or "b#tches" does not give the right to every man to call every woman a "slut" or "b#tch". If some people want to apply to themselves something derogatory that is their call. Don't assume it applies to everyone.

As for profile names a reference to colour seems redundant when there is a picture.

As a side point it seems a strange quirk of kink but if a women identifies as "Mistress" or a "sub" no-one says a thing. If a man identifies as "Master" or "A Dominant" he gets put in the douche bag box! But then personally I prefer profile names in kink with thought behind them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"... I hate the term "BBC" with a passion. I give the example just because some women call themselves "sluts" or "b#tches" does not give the right to every man to call every woman a "slut" or "b#tch". If some people want to apply to themselves something derogatory that is their call. Don't assume it applies to everyone..."

Hate to point this out mate, but your first two veris are from the women who run the 'BBCLovinBitches' parties

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

So comparing these other stereotypes and race is not comparing apples with apples

This this this. I have tried extremely hard to say without saying that we have to look at the racist origins of the term. Actually, I think I did mention it; I’ve posted a lot in here so forgive me. But similarly as I touched on before I think it’s important that even when talking about preferences we acknowledge the things that lead us to preferences that although are very individualised, are also a reflection of societal standards. - that’s a conversation for another thread!

It’s been mostly wonderful to see some of the responses to this thread I think that so many people have come willing to hear people out which I didn’t think still happened these days.

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By *reedy_for_funCouple over a year ago

My House

We advertise for black guys but not BBC. She has to find them attractive by her standards, sociable and, at least, moderately intelligent.

It's not a fetish, it's not a kink, it's her making her choice. She finds black guys sexy and who am I to stop her expressing her desires?

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple over a year ago

Birmingham

"We advertise for black guys but not BBC. She has to find them attractive by her standards, sociable and, at least, moderately intelligent.

It's not a fetish, it's not a kink, it's her making her choice. She finds black guys sexy and who am I to stop her expressing her desires?"

Others may have a different take, but to me it seems you're doing it right. At some point everyone is a product of society, the good parts and the bad. Maybe (maybe?) there's reasons to explore the why for her preferences but at some point we need to get on with life and stop looking for reasons in the minutiae, and I think I think your approach is fine.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We advertise for black guys but not BBC. She has to find them attractive by her standards, sociable and, at least, moderately intelligent.

It's not a fetish, it's not a kink, it's her making her choice. She finds black guys sexy and who am I to stop her expressing her desires?"

Always find comments like this amusing. If the women find black men SO attractive, why are they - in the high 90’s percentage wise - married to white men? Why do they find black guys attractive enough to fuck, but not marry or have relationships with? People will say you can’t help who you fall in love with etc. But really, all those people? They really all find black men irresistible but marry white guys. You may believe it, but a lot will find it very hard to swallow...

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By *inky SpiceWoman over a year ago

Glasgow

"Hate to ask but: Followed a few threads on forums and seen lots of profiles on searches that either are overly fetishing of black guys or are like a 50s/60s pub advert.

How many people on fab are open to meeting black guys without it being a fetish thing? They just find black guys attractive? Is fab perhaps not the place for me? Help.

It's something that bothers me as well, I feel it reduces human beings to nothing more than a fetish, though some will say "it's just a preference!"

Equally I dont find "black guys attractive" as you put it, I find individual people attractive across the spectrum of races. There's a lot more to finding someone attractive than just their looks...plus not all black guys (or guys of any other race) look the same!

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple over a year ago

Birmingham

"We advertise for black guys but not BBC. She has to find them attractive by her standards, sociable and, at least, moderately intelligent.

It's not a fetish, it's not a kink, it's her making her choice. She finds black guys sexy and who am I to stop her expressing her desires?

Haha and now I'm not so sure again!

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By *essons in LustCouple over a year ago

huddersfield

"Fab is the place for anyone.

It is an odd phenomenon I think, but as a white guy it's difficult for me to understand the sociology of it.

I'm not sure I'd be particularly happy about perpetuating the fetishisation and stereotypes associated with it, if I were black. So your view is refreshing to read.

But honestly, thank you because this reply has been enough to make me feel like I’m not crazy for feeling this way

You’re not crazy .

I think it’s hideous too

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We advertise for black guys but not BBC. She has to find them attractive by her standards, sociable and, at least, moderately intelligent.

It's not a fetish, it's not a kink, it's her making her choice. She finds black guys sexy and who am I to stop her expressing her desires?

Another question for another day but I would like to see how many people that are open to and do sleep with black people (not for a fetish ofc) would date/ marry one? Dating is a whole different ballgame I reckon.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Equally I dont find "black guys attractive" as you put it, I find individual people attractive across the spectrum of races. There's a lot more to finding someone attractive than just their looks...plus not all black guys (or guys of any other race) look the same"

This is, I feel, is an ideal viewpoint. I think too often we have rigid standards of beauty that mean that we don’t allow ourselves to see attraction outside of one race or even outside of one ‘type’ within that.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

You know I've said before I'm happy to sleep with any race of person (not just any person though, I have standards!) however the marriage answer would be hypothetical because I'm already married! I believe if I'd met a black guy (other races are available) and we clicked and were compatible, then I'd married him. My dating history prior to my husband was guys of random appearance so I don't think I have a "type".

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By *essons in LustCouple over a year ago

huddersfield

"We advertise for black guys but not BBC. She has to find them attractive by her standards, sociable and, at least, moderately intelligent.

It's not a fetish, it's not a kink, it's her making her choice. She finds black guys sexy and who am I to stop her expressing her desires?

I’m sure many people would . I can’t imagine why not ?

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By *essons in LustCouple over a year ago

huddersfield

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By *ensualMan over a year ago

Sutton

[Removed by poster at 24/02/20 23:14:07]

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We advertise for black guys but not BBC. She has to find them attractive by her standards, sociable and, at least, moderately intelligent.

It's not a fetish, it's not a kink, it's her making her choice. She finds black guys sexy and who am I to stop her expressing her desires?

I’m sure many people would . I can’t imagine why not ?

I think that dating Interracially is complex is all. But also I’ve known friends whose parents have warned off them dating interracially or having mixed kids.

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By *ensualMan over a year ago

Sutton

[Removed by poster at 24/02/20 23:20:23]

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By *ensualMan over a year ago

Sutton

Hate to point this out mate, but your first two veris are from the women who run the 'BBCLovinBitches' parties

I have made a real mess of trying to reply to this. Third time lucky.

No problem and almost a fair cop.

I think if you read those veris you will see they were given to me on the basis of my skill with rope rather than for sex (part of my rope skills is in sensual Kinbaku). But then nearly all my veris are kink orientated.

In any case althougb I may hate the term "BBC", the BBCLB are lovely people.

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By *inky SpiceWoman over a year ago

Glasgow

I suspect a lot of guys would think why the hell are you complaining as you've got an advantage over them in getting meets on fab. It's the same situation women are on here. We could easily get a fuck with 80% of the guys on fab (other randomly plucked percentages are available) but we don't want to fuck that percentage of guys who just want anyone to fuck, we want the right person for us, and it's very difficult to see the wood for the trees on here.

Guess that makes black guys an honorary part of the fab sisterhood

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