FabSwingers.com > Forums > Virus > Please read the following 2020 summary with humour
Please read the following 2020 summary with humour
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *litterbabe OP Woman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
A detailed account of events this year so far...
(borrowed I can't take credit for writing this)
“January:
Everything's fine. China has a cold, probably man flu or some shit.
February:
Fucking hell China...
This is why we don't eat things that still have fucking plans for tomorrow.
Best of luck to you though.
March:
Pffft....It's probably not that bad. The news likes to over dramatise everything.
Boris has it under control. We'll just ignore the fact he doesnt seem to know what a hairbrush is and has the IQ of a fucking chewed up crayon. WE ARE GOOD!
Wait a sec...Where's all the pasta gone?? Where's the loo roll? Whys McDonaldss taped up like a murder scene?!
We should wear masks now Boris? Yes?... Boris?....No?? Boris??!
Okay.
We're HOMESCHOOLING!
Fuck.
April:
Our pensioners are given 3-5 working days to live.
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DORIS STAY INDOORS!
Popping to your local CO-OP is a bloody death sentence so stop shuffling round 52 times a day looking for flour.
THERE'S NO FUCKING FLOUR DORIS!
Erm...Can I have some toilet roll please?
Let's all make masks out the cups of our bras and hoard obscene amounts of bog roll like we're going to build a fucking house with it. I swear they said this Bat Flu gives you a runny nose and not a runny bum
FUCK OFF JOE WICKS I CANT FEEL MY LEGS!
I'm rated "Piss poor and d*unk" by Ofsted and the kids are surviving on the cakes we are baking and the tears of my misspent youth
Joe Exotic is elected King of the world and the entire human race trolls Carole fuckin' Baskin - killed her husband, whacked him (See TikTok for choreography)
May:
SEND HELP
April was eleventyfourthousand days long. We've all got beards and the fridge has an injunction against me and my 12 chins.
Half of us are now Gin soaked hermits wearing the same pjs for days who only crawl out on a Thursday evening to clap for a few minutes.
Boris says we've to go to work. But not go to work. But if we can't work we should definitely go to work. Only don't go by bus... or car.. or any public transport.
LETS ALL SPROUT SOME FUCKING WINGS AND FLYYYYY.
Masks?? ...No?...
June:
Shops, zoos and theme parks reopen.
We spend most of this month in the queue for McDonalds Drive through and the rest of the month cramming ourselves into Primark.
Still can't go see our Mums...
And no masks.
July:
Bars open.
No one remembers anything else.. we're all fucking shitfaced and our kids are beyond feral.
Masks now though yes? No?
Actually... yes.
Yes. But not till the 24th.
Are we safe till the 24th??
Has the virus been fuckin furloughed till then Boris?!
August:
Where the actual fuckity fuck did August go? Did Boris tax it?
September:
When the schools FINALLY opened we all packed the kids off, might have told them to start walking a couple of days before the actual school gates were unlocked.
October: lockdown, yes no?
Winter is coming
It’ll all end in "tiers"
November: Let the lockdown be-gin!
But not until Thursday 5th you’re absolutely fine until then.
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" A detailed account of events this year so far...
(borrowed I can't take credit for writing this)
“January:
Everything's fine. China has a cold, probably man flu or some shit.
February:
Fucking hell China...
This is why we don't eat things that still have fucking plans for tomorrow.
Best of luck to you though.
March:
Pffft....It's probably not that bad. The news likes to over dramatise everything.
Boris has it under control. We'll just ignore the fact he doesnt seem to know what a hairbrush is and has the IQ of a fucking chewed up crayon. WE ARE GOOD!
Wait a sec...Where's all the pasta gone?? Where's the loo roll? Whys McDonaldss taped up like a murder scene?!
We should wear masks now Boris? Yes?... Boris?....No?? Boris??!
Okay.
We're HOMESCHOOLING!
Fuck.
April:
Our pensioners are given 3-5 working days to live.
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DORIS STAY INDOORS!
Popping to your local CO-OP is a bloody death sentence so stop shuffling round 52 times a day looking for flour.
THERE'S NO FUCKING FLOUR DORIS!
Erm...Can I have some toilet roll please?
Let's all make masks out the cups of our bras and hoard obscene amounts of bog roll like we're going to build a fucking house with it. I swear they said this Bat Flu gives you a runny nose and not a runny bum
FUCK OFF JOE WICKS I CANT FEEL MY LEGS!
I'm rated "Piss poor and d*unk" by Ofsted and the kids are surviving on the cakes we are baking and the tears of my misspent youth
Joe Exotic is elected King of the world and the entire human race trolls Carole fuckin' Baskin - killed her husband, whacked him (See TikTok for choreography)
May:
SEND HELP
April was eleventyfourthousand days long. We've all got beards and the fridge has an injunction against me and my 12 chins.
Half of us are now Gin soaked hermits wearing the same pjs for days who only crawl out on a Thursday evening to clap for a few minutes.
Boris says we've to go to work. But not go to work. But if we can't work we should definitely go to work. Only don't go by bus... or car.. or any public transport.
LETS ALL SPROUT SOME FUCKING WINGS AND FLYYYYY.
Masks?? ...No?...
June:
Shops, zoos and theme parks reopen.
We spend most of this month in the queue for McDonalds Drive through and the rest of the month cramming ourselves into Primark.
Still can't go see our Mums...
And no masks.
July:
Bars open.
No one remembers anything else.. we're all fucking shitfaced and our kids are beyond feral.
Masks now though yes? No?
Actually... yes.
Yes. But not till the 24th.
Are we safe till the 24th??
Has the virus been fuckin furloughed till then Boris?!
August:
Where the actual fuckity fuck did August go? Did Boris tax it?
September:
When the schools FINALLY opened we all packed the kids off, might have told them to start walking a couple of days before the actual school gates were unlocked.
October: lockdown, yes no?
Winter is coming
It’ll all end in "tiers"
November: Let the lockdown be-gin!
But not until Thursday 5th you’re absolutely fine until then.
"
YOU ARE A LEGEND ...So true on every level |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
" A detailed account of events this year so far...
(borrowed I can't take credit for writing this)
“January:
Everything's fine. China has a cold, probably man flu or some shit.
February:
Fucking hell China...
This is why we don't eat things that still have fucking plans for tomorrow.
Best of luck to you though.
March:
Pffft....It's probably not that bad. The news likes to over dramatise everything.
Boris has it under control. We'll just ignore the fact he doesnt seem to know what a hairbrush is and has the IQ of a fucking chewed up crayon. WE ARE GOOD!
Wait a sec...Where's all the pasta gone?? Where's the loo roll? Whys McDonaldss taped up like a murder scene?!
We should wear masks now Boris? Yes?... Boris?....No?? Boris??!
Okay.
We're HOMESCHOOLING!
Fuck.
April:
Our pensioners are given 3-5 working days to live.
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DORIS STAY INDOORS!
Popping to your local CO-OP is a bloody death sentence so stop shuffling round 52 times a day looking for flour.
THERE'S NO FUCKING FLOUR DORIS!
Erm...Can I have some toilet roll please?
Let's all make masks out the cups of our bras and hoard obscene amounts of bog roll like we're going to build a fucking house with it. I swear they said this Bat Flu gives you a runny nose and not a runny bum
FUCK OFF JOE WICKS I CANT FEEL MY LEGS!
I'm rated "Piss poor and d*unk" by Ofsted and the kids are surviving on the cakes we are baking and the tears of my misspent youth
Joe Exotic is elected King of the world and the entire human race trolls Carole fuckin' Baskin - killed her husband, whacked him (See TikTok for choreography)
May:
SEND HELP
April was eleventyfourthousand days long. We've all got beards and the fridge has an injunction against me and my 12 chins.
Half of us are now Gin soaked hermits wearing the same pjs for days who only crawl out on a Thursday evening to clap for a few minutes.
Boris says we've to go to work. But not go to work. But if we can't work we should definitely go to work. Only don't go by bus... or car.. or any public transport.
LETS ALL SPROUT SOME FUCKING WINGS AND FLYYYYY.
Masks?? ...No?...
June:
Shops, zoos and theme parks reopen.
We spend most of this month in the queue for McDonalds Drive through and the rest of the month cramming ourselves into Primark.
Still can't go see our Mums...
And no masks.
July:
Bars open.
No one remembers anything else.. we're all fucking shitfaced and our kids are beyond feral.
Masks now though yes? No?
Actually... yes.
Yes. But not till the 24th.
Are we safe till the 24th??
Has the virus been fuckin furloughed till then Boris?!
August:
Where the actual fuckity fuck did August go? Did Boris tax it?
September:
When the schools FINALLY opened we all packed the kids off, might have told them to start walking a couple of days before the actual school gates were unlocked.
October: lockdown, yes no?
Winter is coming
It’ll all end in "tiers"
November: Let the lockdown be-gin!
But not until Thursday 5th you’re absolutely fine until then.
"
Superb |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
" A detailed account of events this year so far...
(borrowed I can't take credit for writing this)
“January:
Everything's fine. China has a cold, probably man flu or some shit.
February:
Fucking hell China...
This is why we don't eat things that still have fucking plans for tomorrow.
Best of luck to you though.
March:
Pffft....It's probably not that bad. The news likes to over dramatise everything.
Boris has it under control. We'll just ignore the fact he doesnt seem to know what a hairbrush is and has the IQ of a fucking chewed up crayon. WE ARE GOOD!
Wait a sec...Where's all the pasta gone?? Where's the loo roll? Whys McDonaldss taped up like a murder scene?!
We should wear masks now Boris? Yes?... Boris?....No?? Boris??!
Okay.
We're HOMESCHOOLING!
Fuck.
April:
Our pensioners are given 3-5 working days to live.
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DORIS STAY INDOORS!
Popping to your local CO-OP is a bloody death sentence so stop shuffling round 52 times a day looking for flour.
THERE'S NO FUCKING FLOUR DORIS!
Erm...Can I have some toilet roll please?
Let's all make masks out the cups of our bras and hoard obscene amounts of bog roll like we're going to build a fucking house with it. I swear they said this Bat Flu gives you a runny nose and not a runny bum
FUCK OFF JOE WICKS I CANT FEEL MY LEGS!
I'm rated "Piss poor and d*unk" by Ofsted and the kids are surviving on the cakes we are baking and the tears of my misspent youth
Joe Exotic is elected King of the world and the entire human race trolls Carole fuckin' Baskin - killed her husband, whacked him (See TikTok for choreography)
May:
SEND HELP
April was eleventyfourthousand days long. We've all got beards and the fridge has an injunction against me and my 12 chins.
Half of us are now Gin soaked hermits wearing the same pjs for days who only crawl out on a Thursday evening to clap for a few minutes.
Boris says we've to go to work. But not go to work. But if we can't work we should definitely go to work. Only don't go by bus... or car.. or any public transport.
LETS ALL SPROUT SOME FUCKING WINGS AND FLYYYYY.
Masks?? ...No?...
June:
Shops, zoos and theme parks reopen.
We spend most of this month in the queue for McDonalds Drive through and the rest of the month cramming ourselves into Primark.
Still can't go see our Mums...
And no masks.
July:
Bars open.
No one remembers anything else.. we're all fucking shitfaced and our kids are beyond feral.
Masks now though yes? No?
Actually... yes.
Yes. But not till the 24th.
Are we safe till the 24th??
Has the virus been fuckin furloughed till then Boris?!
August:
Where the actual fuckity fuck did August go? Did Boris tax it?
September:
When the schools FINALLY opened we all packed the kids off, might have told them to start walking a couple of days before the actual school gates were unlocked.
October: lockdown, yes no?
Winter is coming
It’ll all end in "tiers"
November: Let the lockdown be-gin!
But not until Thursday 5th you’re absolutely fine until then.
"
You should take this seriously.. Its not a laughing matter centurion.
Be has a wife you know!
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
