kinky MF perv couple and a pinch of sarcasm

Couple in Peterborough, East Midlands, UK   Photo VerifiedOn mobile site

Joined: 8 months ago
Last on: 8 hours ago

It’s long and was written whilst I was pissed off and ranting at single guys that just don’t accept no thanks as an answer. . Just read the TL:DR until we go through it and make it more readable... although part of me just wants to keep it as it keeps a great response from you guys who have been in the same situation!

TL:DR - M/F Polyamorous couple. Both bi. Looking for guy, girls, couple, groups, etc for friends and fun, maybe FWB. Very open minded and into normal/vanilla to Kink/taboo. She’s Very sub. He’s dom(ish, not in traditional sense). HnH friendly. Guys, if you want you, we’ll wink at you, girls, trans, couples, etc. If we’re not interested we’ll let you know, please let us know so we know not to say hey again. Any questions, ask!

Didn’t think this was a sentence I had to write. Yes, we are both bisexual. However, that doesn’t mean we cannot resist the urge to touch someone of our own sex when naked. We always discuss boundaries before a meeting anyway, but it you’re straight just asking us not to sexual assault you and we’ll just try out hardest.. or.. you know.. just say ‘by the way I’m straight’ like a normal fucking human being should and you know what. We won’t touch you. Scouts honour.

Couple of points. If I sound like a twat or offend you, I probably didn’t mean to. Unless you’re a single guys and I was trolling you because you kinda didn’t realise that no thanks means no thanks (which yes I do appreciate The irony of that comment from a couple that enjoy non-con play), but in which case #sorrynotsorry and also, if I go quiet and don’t reply. I’ve frozen and don’t know what to say. Change the subject or lead the conversation. Rule of thumb, if I don’t want to talk to you, I’ll just block you. I also kinda can’t lie, so if you don’t want to know the answer? Don’t ask! The above is due to how my brain is wired. If you want to know ask me and I’ll happily explain and make you wish you hadn’t asked ;)

You may see messages that you send go from unread, to read, to unread. That’s usually becauSe we like to go through messages together or were in the middle of something.

Don’t read below. Trust us...

Ok.. you’re still reading..

Hang on. There is an edited version on my fabguys. Just replace the pronouns to make my fiancée a girl and so it doesn’t just sound like it’s all about me. Some stuff is missing. Some isn’t relevant unless you’re a guy and your want a penis in your ass.


Polyamorous couple based in Peterborough. Looking for fun and friends, which could progress to FWB or a secondary relationship.

Male is ginger, bi, top, hung and can be dominant at times (just don’t expect a porn style yes sir no sir dom)

Female is bi, very sub to the Male and fairly sub to everyone else, very petite and squirts..

Looking for a girl, couples (MF/MM/FF), group sessions and trans (FtM/MtF) aged 40yo or under. Guys, we prefer you to be 30yo or younger unless you’re BBC (sorry for the cliche) or you think you’ve got a reason we’d say yes... we’ll either just block or say ‘thanks, but no thanks’. If we do say ‘thanks, but no thanks’, that is is extending courtesy and politeness to you. Please don’t ruin it by asking why not and leading to very blunt and awkward responses.

We usually meet together. The Male does meet girls, guys, trans, couples and whatever else by himself. The female does want to meet people by herself, HOWEVER, Please do not make the request to meet her by herself without the Male as you’ll probably just get blocked. She will instead ask/approach/message you when or if she is comfortable. Her first meet with someone will never be by herself. We would prefer a non-sexual meet to make sure we get on first and we would also like to start the kink/activities on easy mode/low volume and and ramp it up as we get to know each other.

Contacting us not on here, there’s multiple options.

•Telegram is our preferred.

•WhatsApp after that.

•iMessage sure.

•Text, yes, but no pics etc.

•KIK sucks, I do not have it and will not download it. The chat logs, pictures and videos you sent are permanently dave on their servers. Unencrypted too. The live camera pics are really easy to fake.

•Wickr.. urgh.. it’s good. Just don’t expect me to remember who you are after 6 days without asking. Nothing personal there’s just no chat log to remember.

•Snapchat.. pleeease don’t make me use it? Pretty please? I don’t get it. I think I’m too old... If you do make me use it. At least could you link your profile or picture or something about you in the first few messages and save it so I don’t forget who you are?

•I won’t give you my Instagram account or Facebook to chat on either. My family are there and my sex life is here. I like to keep them separate and it’s bad enough to explain who ‘suicide girls’ is and why I follow them...

On subject of first message, ‘hey, how are you?’ is fine. Assuming and acting like we’ve already agreed to fuck you is not.

Into most things from normal/vanilla to kink/tabu. We are hard to shock. From restraints to paddles. Bruises and pain on her = good. Bruises and pain ok him = bad. Some things such as breath play, you probably won’t be allowed to do for safety reasons. Even though you can be rough, dominant, throw around a little, don’t be a twat about it. Understand she is human.

420/hnh/pnp/Chem friendly. If you know you know. If you don’t, don’t worry and no point asking.

He is not submissive and we are not into cuckolding. But he does like sharing her and guys being rough with her.

Straight guys, please read. Take note. He is bi. That doesn’t mean he’ll touch you in appropriately, but please please understand that he will not leave the room (unless he wants to) or just stand by and watch (unless he wants to). So if you’re not comfortable with being in close proximity with another guy or don’t understand that in the process of sex, especially with someone as small as the female you will probably end up touching. Just remember, there’s a difference between touching and “touching”. If that bothers you, we’re probably not a good fit and you probably shouldn’t message. That all said, we’ll probably ask if he can suck you at some point..

Safe words strictly in use. Failure to comply will lead to immediate termination of whatever is happening.


420/hnh/pnp/Chem friendly.

If we wink at you, please don’t think we’re being rude. We just don’t have much time on here. Either wink is back and we’ll message you or just say hey.

If we winked or said hey and you’re not interested, please just say you’re not. Or just say no. Or just block us. Then I won’t send a second ‘hello’.

Happy to send face pictures on the chat on here. If you message us first, you send yours first and if we message you first we’ll send ours first. Deal?

We’re verified and ideally you should be too. Even if you’re verified you’ll be asked to provide a selfie hold x amount of fingers up.

Cannot/do not send nudes of the female for reasons of employment, so please do not ask. If you keep asking we’ll just block. For the same reason, we cannot have you film or take pictures during any sessions had together. The Male may take videos/pictures, however we’d ask you first and would understand if you said no, as you wouldn’t be allowed to.

Don’t send a friend request unless we’ve at least spoken. Otherwise it’s creepy.

Please be patient for replies. Don’t expect them always to be on the same same day as we do not spent all day on the website. For the same reason, please don’t expect same day meets. Actually, if we don’t know you/met you before, a same day meet probably won’t happen. Sometimes one of us will read a message/look at a profile and then set it back to unread, so when we’re both looking together.

Don’t assume it’s the Male reading/replying.

Number one rule though. Don’t be a twat. Thanks!

Ali (female)

28 years old, Bisexual

5'0"  152cm
Social drinker
Some tattoos
1 or 2 piercings

Eli (male)

35 years old, Bisexual

5'11"  180cm
Non smoker
Don't drink
No tattoos
No piercings

Looking For

Couples (MF) Couples (MM) Couples (FF) Women TV/TS
Aged from 18 to 40 only
Will meet smokers


Can accommodate
Can travel


Adult Parties, Anal, Blindfolds, DP, Gangbangs, Group Sex, Oral, Rimming, Role Play, Same Room Swapping, Separate Room Swapping, SM, Spanking, Swingers Clubs, Threesomes, Toys, Voyeurism, Watersports

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