23 positions in a one night stand!

Woman in West Yorkshire, North East, UK

Joined: 4 months ago
Last on: 8 minutes ago

Not new to fab, not new to the clubs but back with an all new attitude!

Thinking that the cougar life has chosen me!

Only apply if you know CPR ;-)

Ffs it’s a song, get off by prince, I can’t even think of 23 positions.

Iv absolutely no interest in meeting ever again, unless it’s a woman i don’t mind a bit of ff play, yes I’m an absolute man hater! So?

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SHOWER FRESH IS A MUST!

I have a super unhealthy obsession with Dettol, I bath in it shower in it, clean with it & even put a cap full in my washing machine, so as you can tell i like clean, I can’t cope with bad smells, just no need!

Anyone available to fit my new bathroom?? I don’t have the cash to pay, I make crap cuppas and I can’t even promise that I’d walk around half naked because I’m always cold!

I’m here for my own kicks not to live out your fantasy’s.

I’m not a unicorn, I don’t like men i don’t like women, I’m more than happy to stay home and play with my toys.

Married/attached and cheating men please don’t message me, you’re vile!

If you’re profile is without any information or pictures step away from my fun filled page

Not into bi men, not into big beards, the Viking look, old bold and deaf!

Shock Horror Iv got hair on my tuppy, I’m not a 10 year old child, yes it’s nice and neat.

I don’t actually give a shit if it’s not your thing I won’t be changing anything for anyone!

Iv some right story’s from past meets from dwarfs to shitting ( ok so that was on my ex husband but still happened ) if you get me out of my Xmas pjs ask me about them!!

I once had a bet with my work mates to see how many Galaxy bars I could get my meets to bring in a month ( i cracked out the best moves for the bigger bars)

If unverified or live a million miles away don’t bother me.

I will definitely make arrangements to meet up and then loose interest especially if you have a personality of a dead fish.

If you big yourself up and don’t live up to it then mate I will put a stop to all my porn star moves get myself off then tell everyone how shit you actually are!! Brutal I know but when I drive 45 minutes for a quick 1 minute fuck fuming is an understatement!

So I am 1000% known for not remembering faces especially if we have met! No apologies ;-)

If you make it to the end of my profile, i hope you get the tongue in cheek ;-) don’t take everything so seriously xx

44 years old, Straight

5'4" 163cm
Fabulous
Non smoker
Social drinker
Some tattoos
No piercings

Looking For

Men Women
Aged from 27 to 45 only
Will meet smokers

Meeting

Can accommodate
Can travel

Interests

Safe Sex, Swingers Clubs

See 2 Public Videos

Verified Genuine Profile

*oxie Diamond (40), Woman on 10 January 2026 by Meeting in person:
If you get the banter, love the smell of dettol and prove not to have the personality of a dead fish! Your in with a shot ! This sexy lady is an absolute diamond and has unreal pornstar moves! A legend and a true friend, top tip ! Bring galaxy chocolate ?? x

*untimewithkel (38), Woman on 9 January 2026 by Meeting in person:
Iv known this sexy lady a long while! And what can I say she is down to earth, always know where you stand and is a true friend to the end. And I must say Iv seen her ride cock like a porn star x kel x

Friends

daz (45), Man
k (38), Woman
A (30), Man
Roxie (40), Woman
Mags (39), Man