FabSwingers.com > Forums > Fabswingers.com site feedback > 'Outing' time wasters
'Outing' time wasters
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By *ierang OP Man
over a year ago
Glasgow |
is there any enthusiasm for naming and shaming people who consistently decide at the eleventh hour to pull out of meets? I can see this could become a free for all, but as there is no obvious mechanism to see if someone is unreliable; a complete fraud or just dangerous, it seems the odds are stacked in favour of any chancer who cares to abuse the goodwill of most folk on the site. On ebay there is at least the opportunity to assess someone's worth through their feedback system, which helps stop people mucking folk around.
Any thoughts? xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We arranged a meet with this single guy named _ierang, first time we trieed to plan it he called it off saying he had to rescue his sister that was stuck up her chimney, ok we thought it a bit odd but he seemed genuine so we arranged another meet, that time his other sister apparently got stuck up that chimney.
Defo not a genuine guy, avoid.
THIS IS NOT FOR REAL, BUT AN EXAMPLE ON HOW EASY IT IS.
Ebay is very different to here, for a start ebay is about buying goods, no buying goes on here (or shouldn't be), and with ebay we are unlikely to meet and befriend the one we buy from or sell to, so it's far less personal on ebay.
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"is there any enthusiasm for naming and shaming people who consistently decide at the eleventh hour to pull out of meets? I can see this could become a free for all, but as there is no obvious mechanism to see if someone is unreliable; a complete fraud or just dangerous, it seems the odds are stacked in favour of any chancer who cares to abuse the goodwill of most folk on the site. On ebay there is at least the opportunity to assess someone's worth through their feedback system, which helps stop people mucking folk around.
Any thoughts? xx"
FAB does have a type of feedback system in place already.... it's called VERIFIED GENUINE that little green tick does make a difference in our opinion. there is just no workable way to oust the timewaster/no shows, and as said before it is open to abuse. It's just a chance we all take within this lifestyle.
Word of mouth between friends counts alot and the word does get around if certain members are not what they say they are.
xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"timewasters again, every day a post"
LOL - yes, but then we couldn't be sanctimonious about the posters could we?!! 
I think people need to check how they happen to meet so many time wasteers - I've yet to come across one!! I ALWAYS meet socially first for a drink/dinner, if they are unable to meet for that then end of communication, I wouldn't then arrange to play with someone "sight unseen"!! 
As for the verification system it makes absolutely no difference to me!! What someone else thinks about another person is of little consequence to me as people interact differently, just because Jane Doe finds Joe Bloggs "one not to be missed girls", doesn't mean he'll turn up to meet me and float my boat!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"is there any enthusiasm for naming and shaming people who consistently decide at the eleventh hour to pull out of meets? I can see this could become a free for all, but as there is no obvious mechanism to see if someone is unreliable; a complete fraud or just dangerous, it seems the odds are stacked in favour of any chancer who cares to abuse the goodwill of most folk on the site. On ebay there is at least the opportunity to assess someone's worth through their feedback system, which helps stop people mucking folk around.
Any thoughts? xx"
What if it's a genuine reason someone has had to cancel at the 11th hr? say childminder has let them down or been called into work? then you get someone who gets the huff and gives bad feedback?
That just wouldnt be fair and its open to abuse,you could get people leaving horrible feedback because they dont want to meet again ect.
If you feel someone has wasted your time block them,they cant waste your time again.
Personally i think naming and shaming is a way of attacking someone,you have only got the word of the person who is naming and shaming not the people who are being named and shamed. |
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We personally know of a couple on here who are totally fake and even go as far as inviting people round and giving them an address to go to that is someone elses home, However unfortunatly we cant prove it so no point in reporting them so its just a case of block and live and let live we suppose.
Steve  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We personally know of a couple on here who are totally fake and even go as far as inviting people round and giving them an address to go to that is someone elses home, However unfortunatly we cant prove it so no point in reporting them so its just a case of block and live and let live we suppose.
Steve "
yep we got two couples like that in wales my mate and her hubby have turned up at one address that was given and it was a little old ladies house and its happen to others |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We personally know of a couple on here who are totally fake and even go as far as inviting people round and giving them an address to go to that is someone elses home, However unfortunatly we cant prove it so no point in reporting them so its just a case of block and live and let live we suppose.
Steve
yep we got two couples like that in wales my mate and her hubby have turned up at one address that was given and it was a little old ladies house and its happen to others "
Proves that people talk and these timewasters do get found out,but to give people wrong addresses is down right disgusting,not only does it waste time it wastes peoples money travelling,child care ect. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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anyone can give a false address and even a false msn addy
but ask them nicely for their mobile phone number
thats what usually makes the "timewasters" clam up and all of a sudden they go quiet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"anyone can give a false address and even a false msn addy
but ask them nicely for their mobile phone number
thats what usually makes the "timewasters" clam up and all of a sudden they go quiet "
not necessaraly...I have had timewasters with whom I had spoken to on the phone, who text me right up until an hour before and then never show... |
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All you can do is do the usual checks - have a quick web cam to see them - proves who they are - chat on msn or just on the phone - look at the profile - there can be pointers there if you know what to look for - arrange to meet for a drink - if they don't turn up it;s no problem - if osmeone cancels it can be legitimate - i'd always give then another chance - if you're in doubt don't arrange to meet - it isn't really rocket science! Z |
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By *uttyMan
over a year ago
Local to you maybe |
I personally get a mobile number along with the address and call it before the arranged meet to check it's genuine and then call or text when I arrive saying I've arrived ge the door open lol. Now if noone opens the door or attempts to acknowledge me then I'm off :0)
and for safetys sake a friend always knows when n where I'm meeting and gets a text to say if everythings kosher :0) |
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"I have had timewasters with whom I had spoken to on the phone, who text me right up until an hour before and then never show..."
Yummy, I pity the fool (in Mr T voice, naturally!) who arranges to meet you and then lets you down - of course I'm only going by a tiny avatar pic, but even so..
Some people are either stupid or mean. In either case, best off not meeting 'em. Their loss! |
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By *habsMan
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
"anyone can give a false address and even a false msn addy
but ask them nicely for their mobile phone number
thats what usually makes the "timewasters" clam up and all of a sudden they go quiet not necessaraly...I have had timewasters with whom I had spoken to on the phone, who text me right up until an hour before and then never show..."
Once a "lady" I had spoken to (lived in London) for some weeks and myself decided to meet up. For some bizarre reason she opted to take the bus (a good couple of hours journey as involved 2 changes) rather than take a straight through half hour train.
2 days after the intended date she hadn't shown up or got in contact - eventually she popped up online, asked her what happened and she said:
"sorry, was on the bus to yours and hadn't taken the paper with your address on it so wanted to text you to resend, but realised I had lost your number"
Completely believable... especially as we had spoken on the morning morning and she was "on her way". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I personally get a mobile number along with the address and call it before the arranged meet to check it's genuine and then call or text when I arrive saying I've arrived ge the door open lol. Now if noone opens the door or attempts to acknowledge me then I'm off :0)
and for safetys sake a friend always knows when n where I'm meeting and gets a text to say if everythings kosher :0)"
I have the same sort of an arrangement when I have a meet...a friend knows who I am meeting with when and where... |
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By *ierang OP Man
over a year ago
Glasgow |
Gosh. I feel suitably chastened and very grateful for the collective wisdom. Thanks so much for your contributions. Having read them I now see exactly why we have the system we do as (like with the rest of the site) it relies on a degree of trust and a need to be sanguine about the fact some people are dickheads, because God made them that way and there is really nothing that can be done about them... xxx |
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By *ustyWoman
over a year ago
inverclyde |
was supposed to meet yesterday that never happened and now the one tomorrow has called off as well, i even rearranged things for both days so i could meet...... dont have make you mad at times |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"was supposed to meet yesterday that never happened and now the one tomorrow has called off as well, i even rearranged things for both days so i could meet...... dont have make you mad at times"
You really do have bad luck with your meets dont you |
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"just report them to admin as being fake. We have reported 2 people in the last Month and admin have booted them. Long may this continue. Well done Admin"
Surely there's a massive difference between the fakes and people who either lose their nerve at the last minute or if life happens and they have to cancel - a true 'timewaster' is someone who arranges to meet and doesn't turn up but gives no notice at all and goes underground! Even the fake profiles aren't really timewasters as they're so obvious you simply ignore them! |
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"is there any enthusiasm for naming and shaming people who consistently decide at the eleventh hour to pull out of meets? I can see this could become a free for all, but as there is no obvious mechanism to see if someone is unreliable; a complete fraud or just dangerous, it seems the odds are stacked in favour of any chancer who cares to abuse the goodwill of most folk on the site. On ebay there is at least the opportunity to assess someone's worth through their feedback system, which helps stop people mucking folk around.
Any thoughts? xx"
Just a quick thought - to the OP - is it the sampe people who kepe canceling at the last minute or different people all the time? If it's the same couple - perhaps they lose their nerve? If it's a variety of people, you need to tighten up your screening process as this never happens to us! Z |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"is there any enthusiasm for naming and shaming people who consistently decide at the eleventh hour to pull out of meets? I can see this could become a free for all, but as there is no obvious mechanism to see if someone is unreliable; a complete fraud or just dangerous, it seems the odds are stacked in favour of any chancer who cares to abuse the goodwill of most folk on the site. On ebay there is at least the opportunity to assess someone's worth through their feedback system, which helps stop people mucking folk around.
Any thoughts? xx
Just a quick thought - to the OP - is it the sampe people who kepe canceling at the last minute or different people all the time? If it's the same couple - perhaps they lose their nerve? If it's a variety of people, you need to tighten up your screening process as this never happens to us! Z"
Have to say only happened to us a couple of times in all the years we have been swinging.
Like Zoe said there are numerous reasons why people might have to cancel,that does not make them fakes!!
If we ever have to cancel it would be because of work or if one of my kids were ill,that wouldnt make us a timewaster,those things come before swinging.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"is there any enthusiasm for naming and shaming people who consistently decide at the eleventh hour to pull out of meets? I can see this could become a free for all, but as there is no obvious mechanism to see if someone is unreliable; a complete fraud or just dangerous, it seems the odds are stacked in favour of any chancer who cares to abuse the goodwill of most folk on the site. On ebay there is at least the opportunity to assess someone's worth through their feedback system, which helps stop people mucking folk around.
Any thoughts? xx"
Why don't you put your energies into the people that DO meet and spare us the space wasted on the ones that DON'T.
Start a policy of raving about all the good meets. THANKYOU |
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By *ierang OP Man
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"
Why don't you put your energies into the people that DO meet and spare us the space wasted on the ones that DON'T.
Start a policy of raving about all the good meets. THANKYOU "
Ha ha! I like it. what an excellent idea!  |
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