FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Have you ever cancelled a meet?
Have you ever cancelled a meet?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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And if so what reason for?
I have for the weekend because the woman in question seems to be a bunny boiler and is constantly messaging me on telegram at work, on a night waking me up and keeping me awake, and already using the terms “babe” “gorgeous” “honey”
It’s a bit much to be honest and she is stopping me from doing things on a night.
So do you think these are valid reasons?
Have you ever cancelled?
#firstworldproblems
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes. A whole plethora of reasons, sometimes we make the leap over to exchanging phone numbers and people think they don’t have to try anymore and we go back to the dreaded ‘how are you?’ 15 times a day. Or they’re wayyyy too keen. Or start telling me about kinks that turn my stomach. Or they move the goal posts ‘I know we said meet at 7, but let’s meet at 9, and only for an hour’. Plenty more.
It either works for me too, and I’m excited about meeting them, or I’m not and I don’t want anyones time to be wasted. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Very valid reason lol. Imagine how she’d behave once you put your dick inside her "
I think the saying goes something like:
“Never put your dick in crazy”
 
Not about to do it tbh. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We did last night with some good play mate friends of ours. J had his 4th covid jab yesterday and always reacts badly to them. Luckily our play friends know him well and we have rearranged.  x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes. A whole plethora of reasons, sometimes we make the leap over to exchanging phone numbers and people think they don’t have to try anymore and we go back to the dreaded ‘how are you?’ 15 times a day. Or they’re wayyyy too keen. Or start telling me about kinks that turn my stomach. Or they move the goal posts ‘I know we said meet at 7, but let’s meet at 9, and only for an hour’. Plenty more.
It either works for me too, and I’m excited about meeting them, or I’m not and I don’t want anyones time to be wasted."
But how are you? lol
Did you have a good birthday anyway?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just the once when my period made an unexpected early appearance. They were very polite about it, but since they didn't want to reschedule I'm not sure they believed me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When it turns into the endless messaging all banal. Or the fantasising starts (what will you be wearing etc). That said once got stood up so he could watch the football. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just the once when my period made an unexpected early appearance. They were very polite about it, but since they didn't want to reschedule I'm not sure they believed me."
Their loss  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes had a guy turn up after having a few chats and what we like and out of the blue started talking about poo and other stuff not mentioned so asked him to leave which he did . He got blocked x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have had to cancel a couple of times due to kids illness which can’t be helped.
Generally I’m pretty reliable as I hate being let down so won’t do that to others.
However I’m contemplating cancelling an arranged drink for tonight as the guy is coming across really pushy (feels like he has a total expectation we’re going to fuck) and I am not comfortable with that vibe. But if I do decide to cancel I will be honest as to why. |
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Yep, I cancelled on a couple a few the morning of the meet. I felt awful with a D and V bug (sorry if you are eating, reading this!) I let them know as soon as I knew I couldn't meet and we rescheduled for a week later.
Cancellations and plans change, but that isnt a deal breaker, we are all adults here and sometimes life gets in the way! |
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"And if so what reason for?
I have for the weekend because the woman in question seems to be a bunny boiler and is constantly messaging me on telegram at work, on a night waking me up and keeping me awake, and already using the terms “babe” “gorgeous” “honey”
It’s a bit much to be honest and she is stopping me from doing things on a night.
So do you think these are valid reasons?
Have you ever cancelled?
#firstworldproblems
"
I had ... but I never said concrete YES!I said depending on my mood..
And mood was crap |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes cancelled when the chat became argumentative (I'd disagree with something and their response was a red flag).
I giggled when you said she was calling you babe and gorgeous. You realise a lot of guys do that to women from the first message? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Could be she is innocently misinterpreting signs.... or could be she's very bubbly with no sense of time or social sense of when to be messaging. Like perhaps she is neuro-divergent, that's not crazy just a bit different.
Could be....she's a strong personality doing the running and you prefer to do the chasing?
Those names aren't a red flag tbh, like someone said guys use them all the time casually. If they had a petname for you I'd be concerned maybe as thar would scream attachment.
Lots of possibilities is the bottom line, but I know I'd never appreciate having this situation aired out on a forum thread. Not cool. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes cancelled when the chat became argumentative (I'd disagree with something and their response was a red flag).
I giggled when you said she was calling you babe and gorgeous. You realise a lot of guys do that to women from the first message? "
So true lol! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Very rare. It's usually when the chat starts to go left, they start talking about things they're into that I said I'm not or constantly demand pics and the chat starts to go stale.
I just say sorry not feeling it. Always trust your gut. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes once because it made my friend who i loved/love feel queezy so i called it off as she was uncomfortable that one act pretty much led to the greatest day of my life and the last time i was truly happy
Since then nothing seems to fill that void |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Very rare. It's usually when the chat starts to go left, they start talking about things they're into that I said I'm not or constantly demand pics and the chat starts to go stale.
I just say sorry not feeling it. Always trust your gut."
Actually come to think of it I've cancelled when that's happened too. We agreed a coffee and then they've changed it to dinner without discussion. They ramp up the sex chat. Byeeee! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes.
I was feeling frisky, found an attractive guy online and told him the hotel I was at. And then got too d*unk to cope with nerves. I was throwing up at the thought of a strangers cock cumming all over me so I cancelled.
I think he was disappointed.
OP you've done the right thing I reckon. Always trust your gut. |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
I hope the other party isn't reading this post.
I can't remember cancelling a meet personally, but if I haven't, then it's probably been good luck, as we're all potential victims of events beyond our control.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Very rare. It's usually when the chat starts to go left, they start talking about things they're into that I said I'm not or constantly demand pics and the chat starts to go stale.
I just say sorry not feeling it. Always trust your gut.
Actually come to think of it I've cancelled when that's happened too. We agreed a coffee and then they've changed it to dinner without discussion. They ramp up the sex chat. Byeeee!"
Yes and changing times all the time or days or the best I love they slip up and say they're partnered when have been asked more than once, saying don't accom as share house,don't have strangers over straight away etc. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Very rare. It's usually when the chat starts to go left, they start talking about things they're into that I said I'm not or constantly demand pics and the chat starts to go stale.
I just say sorry not feeling it. Always trust your gut.
Actually come to think of it I've cancelled when that's happened too. We agreed a coffee and then they've changed it to dinner without discussion. They ramp up the sex chat. Byeeee!"
This and some of the reasons mentioned above.
And you know what? Sometimes you just get a sense of unease about somebody during chats prior to the meet and if I have this sense of unease, I will cancel but not ghost.
Often, when they come back aggressively it tells me that my gut feeling was right in the first place. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Very rare. It's usually when the chat starts to go left, they start talking about things they're into that I said I'm not or constantly demand pics and the chat starts to go stale.
I just say sorry not feeling it. Always trust your gut.
Actually come to think of it I've cancelled when that's happened too. We agreed a coffee and then they've changed it to dinner without discussion. They ramp up the sex chat. Byeeee!
Yes and changing times all the time or days or the best I love they slip up and say they're partnered when have been asked more than once, saying don't accom as share house,don't have strangers over straight away etc."
Yes! When I met someone recently they changed the details so suddenly that I didn't keep up. And I wish I'd chatted longer, as I usually do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Very rare. It's usually when the chat starts to go left, they start talking about things they're into that I said I'm not or constantly demand pics and the chat starts to go stale.
I just say sorry not feeling it. Always trust your gut.
Actually come to think of it I've cancelled when that's happened too. We agreed a coffee and then they've changed it to dinner without discussion. They ramp up the sex chat. Byeeee!"
Any hint of sex chat and I cancel. If they can't be respectful about a coffee then fuck nooooo. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Very rare. It's usually when the chat starts to go left, they start talking about things they're into that I said I'm not or constantly demand pics and the chat starts to go stale.
I just say sorry not feeling it. Always trust your gut.
Actually come to think of it I've cancelled when that's happened too. We agreed a coffee and then they've changed it to dinner without discussion. They ramp up the sex chat. Byeeee!
This and some of the reasons mentioned above.
And you know what? Sometimes you just get a sense of unease about somebody during chats prior to the meet and if I have this sense of unease, I will cancel but not ghost.
Often, when they come back aggressively it tells me that my gut feeling was right in the first place. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And if so what reason for?
I have for the weekend because the woman in question seems to be a bunny boiler and is constantly messaging me on telegram at work, on a night waking me up and keeping me awake, and already using the terms “babe” “gorgeous” “honey”
It’s a bit much to be honest and she is stopping me from doing things on a night.
So do you think these are valid reasons?
Have you ever cancelled?
#firstworldproblems
"
Anyone messaging me after 10pm or before 9am pisses me right off. I've dumped long time friends for this reason.
I wouldn't meet a stranger for a first meet after what you describe. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Other than the one thing above i cant think of another example barring maybe toothache or illness maybe
I try to be a man of my word if i say il meet il meet even if iv got a broken bone loyalty is very important to me so honouring your word comes with that |
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By *tuluMan
over a year ago
The Side of the Mersey |
Yes. Arrived outside the house to meet a couple in Blackburn and i could smell coming from inside the house. Biggest turn off for me. Just walked away without even ringing the doorbell |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes. Arrived outside the house to meet a couple in Blackburn and i could smell coming from inside the house. Biggest turn off for me. Just walked away without even ringing the doorbell "
Dandelions.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Could be she is innocently misinterpreting signs.... or could be she's very bubbly with no sense of time or social sense of when to be messaging. Like perhaps she is neuro-divergent, that's not crazy just a bit different.
Could be....she's a strong personality doing the running and you prefer to do the chasing?
Those names aren't a red flag tbh, like someone said guys use them all the time casually. If they had a petname for you I'd be concerned maybe as thar would scream attachment.
Lots of possibilities is the bottom line, but I know I'd never appreciate having this situation aired out on a forum thread. Not cool."
She isn’t on Fab and no names have been mentioned. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes. Arrived outside the house to meet a couple in Blackburn and i could smell what the cock was cooking coming from inside the house. Biggest turn off for me. Just walked away without even ringing the doorbell "
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Yep.
*Got called into work.
*Something felt off
*I simply wasn't feeling it so thought it kinder to cancel than have someone disappointed in person having taken the time to get ready and expense to travel
*gut rot |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yep.
*Got called into work.
*Something felt off
*I simply wasn't feeling it so thought it kinder to cancel than have someone disappointed in person having taken the time to get ready and expense to travel
*gut rot"
I thought this said ‘something fell off’ and thought ‘fair…what though?!’ And then reread |
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By mutual agreement when its going to be too rushed or something genuinely gets in the way I would suggest - and have suggested Rescheduling - if we agree then cool - if there’s a proper emergency then I would with as much notice as i could give. |
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By *iss E99TV/TS
over a year ago
Near Taunton Somerset |
"And if so what reason for?
I have for the weekend because the woman in question seems to be a bunny boiler and is constantly messaging me on telegram at work, on a night waking me up and keeping me awake, and already using the terms “babe” “gorgeous” “honey”
It’s a bit much to be honest and she is stopping me from doing things on a night.
So do you think these are valid reasons?
Have you ever cancelled?
#firstworldproblems
"
What you described is absolutely a valid reason, I’ve had exactly the same scenario but with a guy, had to block his number in the end.
I’ve also cancelled when I’ll with the flu, guy in question was great and understood completely.
If it stops feeling right then cancel. |
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Sadly yes but we always try to give as much notice as possible and immediately offer a reschedule date.
The real difficulty comes where you are on the fence about whether to cancel due to odd behaviour in the immediate run up to the meet. We hate the idea of cancelling last minute, but are also really uneasy about the vibe being right at this point |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
I’ve been around fab for years, life has a habit of getting in the way at the most awful times.
Everything from child illness to poor mental health to, most recently, having someone smash my windscreen.
It happens.
The important thing is to communicate with the other person and (hopefully) rearrange at a better time.
As a side note, I really hope that the other person doesn’t read this OP, it’s not exactly respectful and if they do see it, I’m fairly certain that you won’t need to worry about how to cancel |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve been around fab for years, life has a habit of getting in the way at the most awful times.
Everything from child illness to poor mental health to, most recently, having someone smash my windscreen.
It happens.
The important thing is to communicate with the other person and (hopefully) rearrange at a better time.
As a side note, I really hope that the other person doesn’t read this OP, it’s not exactly respectful and if they do see it, I’m fairly certain that you won’t need to worry about how to cancel "
He said above that she isn’t on fab BUT I still think it’s not a nice thing to share with a bunch of strangers even though she probably won’t see it! |
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By *anBerksMan
over a year ago
Berkshire |
I bet she’s delighted to hear that 
But no, I’ve been lucky in that I’ve never had to cancel a meet. I have had to postpone a couple but with plenty of notice (like a few days) and on all occasions met at a rescheduled time.
I’ve only had one lass cancel on me, on the morning of a planned meet later in the evening, so again with plenty of notice. That was the only one where we never actually met. |
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"Yes. A whole plethora of reasons, sometimes we make the leap over to exchanging phone numbers and people think they don’t have to try anymore and we go back to the dreaded ‘how are you?’ 15 times a day. Or they’re wayyyy too keen. Or start telling me about kinks that turn my stomach. Or they move the goal posts ‘I know we said meet at 7, but let’s meet at 9, and only for an hour’. Plenty more.
It either works for me too, and I’m excited about meeting them, or I’m not and I don’t want anyones time to be wasted."
And that old chestnut ‘ are you allergic To duck tape?’ |
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A few for various reasons.
Sick,
Family emergency,
Stuck at work
They started getting odd, or expecting more than agreed.
Found out single female wasn't single
Found out single female wasn't female
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organised a hotel meet with one other person..then I noticed on there status update ..they we're inviting other people to it.. questioned them on it they ignored the question..so I just cancelled the hotel room... paying that little bit extra for a full refund is always a wise decision.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And if so what reason for?
I have for the weekend because the woman in question seems to be a bunny boiler and is constantly messaging me on telegram at work, on a night waking me up and keeping me awake, and already using the terms “babe” “gorgeous” “honey”
It’s a bit much to be honest and she is stopping me from doing things on a night.
So do you think these are valid reasons?
Have you ever cancelled?
#firstworldproblems
"
Just curious, why is she stopping you from doing things? Surely it's your choice if you reply or engage? Do you not put your phone on silent when you go to sleep?
If I cancel a meet it would be because of my 'hidden illness' or mother nature. Or a another very understandable reason. I don't remember doing so but I'm sure I have. I have had meets cancelled by others though. Usually work or double booking themselves are the reasons given.
T |
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Someone had free time because their car breaks went. So could drive to me, as they weren't driving for work . I didn't cancel but just commented that it didn't sound safe.
I'd hate harm to have resulted, due to my decisions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I cancelled a ‘maybe’. It was always a maybe so I think she understood.
But if I set a date and time, only an emergency would change it. I don’t cancel, they do. |
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In my younger years nerves used to get the better of me (bi meets) but would always tell the truth, older gents were way more understanding, didnt happen often though! Now I have kids I occasionally have to delay but always upfront, never blank anyone, that's just wrong! |
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I once had a lady cancel a meet because “she had caught an STI”. Such a random admission led me to believe, it was bull shit and so out there, how could I possibly question it?
I guess I should have felt sorry for the guy she verified a week later!
Did she message back to rearrange. No she didn’t. Lol.
Oh and the lady that canceled a couple of weeks ago “because she had covid”. Still waiting for her to rearrange. The third time she has cried off. Lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No
I'm not flaky
Have you read some of the reasons why people cancelled? They don't seem flaky.
Perhaps people shouldn't make commitments so easily "
Lol life isn’t predictable! And Fab is a nice side thing for most people not their entire life. |
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"No
I'm not flaky
Have you read some of the reasons why people cancelled? They don't seem flaky.
Perhaps people shouldn't make commitments so easily
Lol life isn’t predictable! And Fab is a nice side thing for most people not their entire life."
It's not that difficult to stick to a plan once it's been made |
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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
"No
I'm not flaky
Have you read some of the reasons why people cancelled? They don't seem flaky.
Perhaps people shouldn't make commitments so easily
Lol life isn’t predictable! And Fab is a nice side thing for most people not their entire life.
It's not that difficult to stick to a plan once it's been made "
Unless you don’t want to anymore. I’m
Not sticking to any plan if I change my mind.
V x |
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"No
I'm not flaky
Have you read some of the reasons why people cancelled? They don't seem flaky.
Perhaps people shouldn't make commitments so easily
Lol life isn’t predictable! And Fab is a nice side thing for most people not their entire life.
It's not that difficult to stick to a plan once it's been made
Unless you don’t want to anymore. I’m
Not sticking to any plan if I change my mind.
V x "
Which goes back to my earlier point |
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"No
I'm not flaky
Have you read some of the reasons why people cancelled? They don't seem flaky.
Perhaps people shouldn't make commitments so easily
Lol life isn’t predictable! And Fab is a nice side thing for most people not their entire life.
It's not that difficult to stick to a plan once it's been made "
So you wouldn’t cancel if you’d had an accident and were in hospital?!! Honestly, life isn’t always black and white is it? |
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"No
I'm not flaky
Have you read some of the reasons why people cancelled? They don't seem flaky.
Perhaps people shouldn't make commitments so easily
Lol life isn’t predictable! And Fab is a nice side thing for most people not their entire life.
It's not that difficult to stick to a plan once it's been made
So you wouldn’t cancel if you’d had an accident and were in hospital?!! Honestly, life isn’t always black and white is it? "
Well no
But disaster seems to happen to fab folks quite disproportionately  |
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"No
I'm not flaky
Have you read some of the reasons why people cancelled? They don't seem flaky.
Perhaps people shouldn't make commitments so easily
Lol life isn’t predictable! And Fab is a nice side thing for most people not their entire life.
It's not that difficult to stick to a plan once it's been made
So you wouldn’t cancel if you’d had an accident and were in hospital?!! Honestly, life isn’t always black and white is it?
Well no
But disaster seems to happen to fab folks quite disproportionately "
Your cynicism may be justified But sometimes stuff genuinely does happen and it’s not reasonable to tar everyone with the same brush in my opinion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes we drove 3 hours payed for hotel room.exited to have fun. Get ghosted for a few hours said person wanted to extend another day. Umm no game over cancelled to full effect. |
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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
"No
I'm not flaky
Have you read some of the reasons why people cancelled? They don't seem flaky.
Perhaps people shouldn't make commitments so easily
Lol life isn’t predictable! And Fab is a nice side thing for most people not their entire life.
It's not that difficult to stick to a plan once it's been made
So you wouldn’t cancel if you’d had an accident and were in hospital?!! Honestly, life isn’t always black and white is it?
Well no
But disaster seems to happen to fab folks quite disproportionately "
I don’t need a disaster. If I don’t want to then I’m going to cancel. Is there an expectation that if I say yes I then can’t say no?
V x |
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By *iger4uWoman
over a year ago
In my happy place |
Yes i did tonight.
Prev social meet, a spark. Meet arranged. Turned into a monitoring operation from him. Are you back home yet. Can you get this and that (not giving details here).
I felt under pressure.
Cancelled. Nicely. Abuse in response.
Always, always listen to that gut feeling. |
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By *iger4uWoman
over a year ago
In my happy place |
"No
I'm not flaky
Have you read some of the reasons why people cancelled? They don't seem flaky.
Perhaps people shouldn't make commitments so easily
Lol life isn’t predictable! And Fab is a nice side thing for most people not their entire life.
It's not that difficult to stick to a plan once it's been made "
It's not a contract.
|
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"No
I'm not flaky
Have you read some of the reasons why people cancelled? They don't seem flaky.
Perhaps people shouldn't make commitments so easily
Lol life isn’t predictable! And Fab is a nice side thing for most people not their entire life.
It's not that difficult to stick to a plan once it's been made
It's not a contract.
"
No
But it's a reasonable way of interacting with people |
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By *urora1912Woman
over a year ago
Norfolk East anglia |
I don't cancel very often.
At the weekend gad a meet planned for after work I ended up being there alot later/longer than planned because I couldn't just leave
The poor guy must of thought I was messing him around. I was sending him pictures to show I was at workand would be finishing soon
We had a great meet in the end  |
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Just once. They wanted pictures of the inside of my house so they could check it was clean and tidy and that all my clothes were put away .
When I told them I was cancelling they said 'kind of ya' sarcastically, like I should meet them anyway out of the kindness of my heart. I've just had a look at the WhatsApp messages from them actually and they're even worse than I remembered, so many red flags, I'm glad I didn't meet them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No
I'm not flaky
Have you read some of the reasons why people cancelled? They don't seem flaky.
Perhaps people shouldn't make commitments so easily "
I don't consider having a coffee or a drink a big commitment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just once. They wanted pictures of the inside of my house so they could check it was clean and tidy and that all my clothes were put away .
When I told them I was cancelling they said 'kind of ya' sarcastically, like I should meet them anyway out of the kindness of my heart. I've just had a look at the WhatsApp messages from them actually and they're even worse than I remembered, so many red flags, I'm glad I didn't meet them."
good for you |
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"Just once. They wanted pictures of the inside of my house so they could check it was clean and tidy and that all my clothes were put away .
When I told them I was cancelling they said 'kind of ya' sarcastically, like I should meet them anyway out of the kindness of my heart. I've just had a look at the WhatsApp messages from them actually and they're even worse than I remembered, so many red flags, I'm glad I didn't meet them."
I'd have cancelled too |
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