FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Polite reply?
Polite reply?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Does anyone else find it a bit annoying if you’ve spent time to write a message that’s clearly not a cut and paste to someone for them to read it and not reply?
I’ve spent time filling my profile, have pics and a verification yet getting a message read is near impossible and getting a reply is a no go 
I treated to hear anyone’s thoughts?
Ps. I don’t message any profiles unless they specifically say they’re seeking single males. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't and I don't even get that many messages.
I just don't see the point in wasting time replying for you to then reply when I know I'm not interested.
Sometimes I do feel a bit bad because generally I get really nice messages. Still not replying though! |
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Back in Gatwick! |
They were just not interested. They saw your photos and were not attracted to you. Sorry if being harsh.
I got a nice and polite message from a young man yesterday morning. It was just an introduction, hoping to chat more. Very polite and charming. He attached a body photo. His body shape was exactly the one I am very attracted to, so I replied. We met up in person within a couple of hours.
If I hadn’t been attracted, I probably wouldn’t have replied. In FAB’s etiquette, a no reply means “I am not interested”. People need to understand this instead of overthinking. |
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"Does anyone else find it a bit annoying if you’ve spent time to write a message that’s clearly not a cut and paste to someone for them to read it and not reply?
I’ve spent time filling my profile, have pics and a verification yet getting a message read is near impossible and getting a reply is a no go
I treated to hear anyone’s thoughts?
Ps. I don’t message any profiles unless they specifically say they’re seeking single males."
Manage your expectations is a good starting place. |
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By *mma1973Woman
over a year ago
graffiti bridge |
"Does anyone else find it a bit annoying if you’ve spent time to write a message that’s clearly not a cut and paste to someone for them to read it and not reply?
I’ve spent time filling my profile, have pics and a verification yet getting a message read is near impossible and getting a reply is a no go
I treated to hear anyone’s thoughts?
Ps. I don’t message any profiles unless they specifically say they’re seeking single males."
Just delete your sent messages and be amazed when you you get a reply |
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"Does anyone else find it a bit annoying if you’ve spent time to write a message that’s clearly not a cut and paste to someone for them to read it and not reply?
I’ve spent time filling my profile, have pics and a verification yet getting a message read is near impossible and getting a reply is a no go
I treated to hear anyone’s thoughts?
Ps. I don’t message any profiles unless they specifically say they’re seeking single males."
I'll try something different than my usual message Vs junkmail response.
If the person you messaged, replied with a list of the reasons they were rejecting you, would you feel better than just being deleted and blocked? D&B is sometimes just a quick, polite way of saying not for me/us without going into details. |
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I probably only reply to about 80% of my messages - & most of those quickly fizzle out
if I was to read them (& pay attention) & reply to them all with a coherent response I'd have to give up work! |
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"Does anyone else find it a bit annoying if you’ve spent time to write a message that’s clearly not a cut and paste to someone for them to read it and not reply?
I’ve spent time filling my profile, have pics and a verification yet getting a message read is near impossible and getting a reply is a no go
I treated to hear anyone’s thoughts?
Ps. I don’t message any profiles unless they specifically say they’re seeking single males."
OP, I know it can be frustrating but they don’t owe you a reply. In fact, a non-reply is a reply in itself.
Some women get hundreds of messages and don’t have the time.
Some women try to be polite but then get either begging or abuse for their troubles.
Best thing is to adjust your thinking towards this and treat a reply as a nice bonus.
Good luck  |
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No reply = no thank you.
I do personally reply to most, but then it's hassle, especially from single guys, they use it as a conversation starter to get us to meet, we don't meet men so now I've started to just delete
Mrs |
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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago
Not all that North of North London |
"Does anyone else find it a bit annoying if you’ve spent time to write a message that’s clearly not a cut and paste to someone for them to read it and not reply?
I’ve spent time filling my profile, have pics and a verification yet getting a message read is near impossible and getting a reply is a no go
I treated to hear anyone’s thoughts?
Ps. I don’t message any profiles unless they specifically say they’re seeking single males."
Serious question? If they aren't interested, what possible reason is there for them to reply? |
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No reply is a reply in itself.
When I first joined fab I'd run out of messages before I could finish saying no thank you to all the unsuitable offers. And that's back when I had time to actually read them all.
Don't take it to heart OP. The people you stand out to as compatible will reply. If someone isn't interested, then you don't have to waste your time reading their no thanks or giving another polite but pointless reply to that. |
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By *iasubTV/TS
over a year ago
Ilkeston |
"Ye maybe I’m a little naive as to how most people react. Probably a lot are getting abuse 
Personally I’d appreciate it but can see others point "
From experience there is normally quite a bit of abuse or rudeness that follows a kind no thank you. Thats why i dont bother replying anymore |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Essentially I’m not bothered as I copy/paste every message I send.
Including this one.
Only kidding… I don’t care at all. Last person I blocked because I felt bad if they was still looking at my profile wondering when il respond. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Some women get hundreds of messages and don’t have the time.
Some women try to be polite but then get either begging or abuse for their troubles.
Best thing is to adjust your thinking towards this and treat a reply as a nice bonus.
Good luck "
Ye maybe I’m looking at it like a tinder kinda thing… I actually have no issues meeting women in general.
I would actually like to find someone that sexually has the same interests me and that’s why I’m mainly on here.
Awkward having that convo when it comes up like… hey, I’d really like to bring other people in  |
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By *red333Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"Some women get hundreds of messages and don’t have the time.
Some women try to be polite but then get either begging or abuse for their troubles.
Best thing is to adjust your thinking towards this and treat a reply as a nice bonus.
Good luck
Ye maybe I’m looking at it like a tinder kinda thing… I actually have no issues meeting women in general.
I would actually like to find someone that sexually has the same interests me and that’s why I’m mainly on here.
Awkward having that convo when it comes up like… hey, I’d really like to bring other people in "
thats what they all say  |
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"I have done really polite replies and explained why not interested ... and the just got harassed back. "
Will never understand why people need to be rude, if someone says no its a no, I say thank you for the reply and move on xx |
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By *rder66Man
over a year ago
Tatooine |
Why message and forget about it, if you get no response, then move on.
If they delete it then, as everyone above is saying, its a reply of sorts. Don't take it to heart and some people simply don't have the time to reply.
You can always block then as well, simply a way of not messaging them again. |
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You’re not new to fab or the forums so I’m surprised if you’ve not seen similar threads before there’s tons of them. Usually newbies though.
Why people (especially women) don’t reply:
Cos we get a lot of messages and it would take forever! I’m not even some hot young thing and even I get about 100 messages a day! I have a life! Ain’t got time to read and reply to all them!
Cos when we DO reply “no thanks” however politely we get:
“Why? I’m great” nobody’s that great and nobody appeals to everyone! Even good looking celebs don’t appeal to everyone!
“But I am amazing in bed” bollocks! A good time sexually is mostly about compatibility not the skill of one party.
“Well you’re fat/ugly/old I wouldn’t have shagged you anyway” lovely! Just what I wanna read!  and if that was true…why’d you message?!
Sometimes it can be FAR worse than the last one and inc threats of violence etc (which if I do get, I report their sorry arse!)
I operate a 2 strikes policy now after learning that if someone hasn’t had a reply from me they get a “stop think!” Message if they message a second time. Blocked!
Also block for bareback, 420 friendly, misogynistic profiles, stats or forum posts (if they’re local to me), posting identifying pics of other women on single males profile…
I’m quite brutal perhaps? I consider it discerning.
Single guys need to behave sensibly, understand that however traditionally good looking they may be that doesn’t mean they’ll be for everyone, understand that if someone isn’t interested shown eg by a lack of reply, leave them the hell alone!
Even if they change their mind (rare) they can then find you.
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"I have done really polite replies and explained why not interested ... and the just got harassed back.
Will never understand why people need to be rude, if someone says no its a no, I say thank you for the reply and move on xx"
Sometimes a conversation leads to a no because they don’t have the approach or interests that match mine, or they say something stupid/offensive!
Then again it’s usually trying to change my mind again at which point “the fact you can’t take no for an answer here simply confirms I’ve made the right decision!” Then they also are blocked |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
I will always try and reply if the sender has an ok profile or has written a decent message,even of its a no thanks.
I have lots of filters on though, so don't receive the volume of mail other ladies might.
If i get a 2 word message or one from a blank/crap profile then I'll delete.
I appreciate it can be frustrating op ,why not delete any sent messages from your outbox & if you het a reply its a bonus. |
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I occasionally will send a polite reply if I think someone’s put effort into a message, or if they’ve made me laugh. I do find though that this often leads to lots of follow up messages and sometimes abuse, which is why lots of people opt for delete or block & delete. |
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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago
Lincolnshire |
"Does anyone else find it a bit annoying if you’ve spent time to write a message that’s clearly not a cut and paste to someone for them to read it and not reply?
I’ve spent time filling my profile, have pics and a verification yet getting a message read is near impossible and getting a reply is a no go
I treated to hear anyone’s thoughts?
Ps. I don’t message any profiles unless they specifically say they’re seeking single males."
You've got a well written profile so I wouldn't spend too much time on your messages. Most will look at your profile before opening it anyway. If you're what they are looking for they'll reply, if not you've not wasted much time. K |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You've got a well written profile so I wouldn't spend too much time on your messages. Most will look at your profile before opening it anyway. If you're what they are looking for they'll reply, if not you've not wasted much time. K"
Thanks. Like I say, always send pics, don’t harass and I don’t send messages unless they say single males. Try and be personal and do out in effort.
It is what it is…. I’ll keep your advice in mind 
Enjoy your bank holiday! |
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No reply is still a reply - it means ‘no thanks’.
You chose to send an unsolicited message and they have the choice to respond, ignore, delete or block.
Many people will also look at a profile before opening a message, so if they’re not interested, the content of the message often won’t even be seen. I would suggest you don’t spend too much time on it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Fact you’ve got about getting no replies on your bio would make me delete and no reply alone tbh "
To be honest the ones that do get read are normally left like that and not deleted. If they’re deleted then I would personally take that as a reply in itself. The ones that are left read are just a little confusing. Maybe that’s just me
I know you can’t tell if the person behind the screen is a weirdo or not but I’d hope that my profile reads well enough to show I’m just a genuine guy. Appreciate your opinion though. |
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We used to reply to most messages but we have found if you give an inch they sometimes take a mile .
You say politely they are not for you or what you are looking for and they still try to get into a big conversation with lots of questions about your preferences etc . It can be easier to just not reply |
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By *etro1940sCouple
over a year ago
Kingston upon Thames |
we try to reply to everyone so to say ... but the odd single male or sometimes one person from a couple will pester us for more messages .... it is best to move on if people have not replied (we get about 60 enquiries a day) x Anne & George |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I try to reply if they’ve made an effort to read the profile and say something beyond a one-liner, textspeak or cut and paste.
I make this pretty clear in the profile so feel quite entitled to ignore messages/profiles that don’t appeal.
iPhones have a neat little facility to send a polite reply without typing the whole thing out too which I use a lot.
Rarely had any problems with persistence beyond the odd idiot who doesn’t seem to understand why everyone doesn’t fancy them! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fact you’ve got about getting no replies on your bio would make me delete and no reply alone tbh
To be honest the ones that do get read are normally left like that and not deleted. If they’re deleted then I would personally take that as a reply in itself. The ones that are left read are just a little confusing. Maybe that’s just me
I know you can’t tell if the person behind the screen is a weirdo or not but I’d hope that my profile reads well enough to show I’m just a genuine guy. Appreciate your opinion though. "
There's nothing to be confused by though. The site FAQs clearly state no reply = no thanks. I'm not sure why some people find this confusing. It couldn't be any clearer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The amount of messages women get daily is alot (!) So it isn't easy to reply to every single one.
I usually delete straight away if their profile is empty, no pics or they haven't attached one or If they're not verified or local. |
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"They were just not interested. They saw your photos and were not attracted to you. Sorry if being harsh.
I got a nice and polite message from a young man yesterday morning. It was just an introduction, hoping to chat more. Very polite and charming. He attached a body photo. His body shape was exactly the one I am very attracted to, so I replied. We met up in person within a couple of hours.
If I hadn’t been attracted, I probably wouldn’t have replied. In FAB’s etiquette, a no reply means “I am not interested”. People need to understand this instead of overthinking. "
Unfortunately she is right for once |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does anyone else find it a bit annoying if you’ve spent time to write a message that’s clearly not a cut and paste to someone for them to read it and not reply?
I’ve spent time filling my profile, have pics and a verification yet getting a message read is near impossible and getting a reply is a no go
I treated to hear anyone’s thoughts?
Ps. I don’t message any profiles unless they specifically say they’re seeking single males.
OP, I know it can be frustrating but they don’t owe you a reply. In fact, a non-reply is a reply in itself.
Some women get hundreds of messages and don’t have the time.
Some women try to be polite but then get either begging or abuse for their troubles.
Best thing is to adjust your thinking towards this and treat a reply as a nice bonus.
Good luck "
exactly this |
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Most messages from men that I get have had reasonably good effects put into them. But they need to be sent without any expectations that you are owed anything, from the unsolicited contact.
If you truly cannot accept this, then Fab may not be the place where you will be comfortable.
It is all about profile pics and it selling you. Does it trulymark you out uniquely from any other man? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Familiarise yourself with the site FAQs OP.
Nobody owes you a reply.
They didn't ask you to message them.
You're coming across as havong an entitled attitude
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Familiarise yourself with the site FAQs OP.
Nobody owes you a reply.
They didn't ask you to message them.
You're coming across as havong an entitled attitude
"
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
Wales |
No. Mainly because I don’t message anyone first!
But as a woman, you have to understand the inbox we have. It is choc full (ish) of folk asking how your day has been, if you’re horny, what you’re wearing, if you’re available to meet now. Never mind the ones who send you their Black Lace (the publisher not the band) version of their hottest sexual fantasy, thinking you’ll be so wet at their words that you’ll offer to drive 5 miles (or 500) to suck them off.
Men most likely get a “wank at mine in 20 minutes?” Kind of message.
It just gets a bit meh. It is nothing personal. It’s just the overall effect of Fab.
Men outnumber women. Women get bogged down.
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We used to reply to most but now we just delete if someone just has cock pics or a blank profile or isn’t our type.
No point replying to say no thanks when a delete or non response says the same.
K |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"They were just not interested. They saw your photos and were not attracted to you. Sorry if being harsh.
I got a nice and polite message from a young man yesterday morning. It was just an introduction, hoping to chat more. Very polite and charming. He attached a body photo. His body shape was exactly the one I am very attracted to, so I replied. We met up in person within a couple of hours.
If I hadn’t been attracted, I probably wouldn’t have replied. In FAB’s etiquette, a no reply means “I am not interested”. People need to understand this instead of overthinking. "
Completely agree with this. A well crafted profile and a thoughtful message are meaningless if the person doesn't find you attractive. It's how the game works. |
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