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Single geezers and this here site...

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By *ot cottons tabard OP   Man  over a year ago

Enfield

I dunno why I waste my time on some of you lot. I av a well fought out profile, i iz highly intelligant innit, i send out loads of begging messages and being impaled by my mighty weapon wud leave a woman gasping like shed bin ridden by thors rusty mallet. Its bout time one of the old bints on ere drooped er kecks and let me fill er up wiv my salty man poreidge.

over to you....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

"salty man porridge?!" Hmm... Thanks, but no thanks! lol

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By *unky monkeyMan  over a year ago

in the night garden

What a refreshingly honest approach by a single man to this site.

You know if half these single male desperados took a leaf out of your book and let off a bit of steam I think they would all be a little happier.

I applaud this forthright and honest approach to a problem that grips this web site.

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By *ruitWoman  over a year ago

near kings lynn

Erm. All sounds like a toal wind up to me

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Or he's in desparate need of a jazz mag...

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By *iewMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn


"I dunno why I waste my time on some of you lot. I av a well fought out profile, i iz highly intelligant innit, i send out loads of begging messages and being impaled by my mighty weapon wud leave a woman gasping like shed bin ridden by thors rusty mallet. Its bout time one of the old bints on ere drooped er kecks and let me fill er up wiv my salty man poreidge.

over to you...."

fancy a civil partnership thus allowing me to legally pump ya from here to eternity..

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Oh. My. Goodness. How. Many. More. Times.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The bait sits in the water waiting for bites....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Erm. All sounds like a toal wind up to me"

But aimed at whom?!

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By *emmefataleWoman  over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"I dunno why I waste my time on some of you lot. I av a well fought out profile, i iz highly intelligant innit, i send out loads of begging messages and being impaled by my mighty weapon wud leave a woman gasping like shed bin ridden by thors rusty mallet. Its bout time one of the old bints on ere drooped er kecks and let me fill er up wiv my salty man poreidge.

over to you...."

key anyone?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Mmm. Problem is theres millionty skwillion bagged up blokes on here and the girls have a pick of the bunch. Bit like simon cowel, sifting through the queues of numpties knowing fine well the one he picks is going to be shite any way .

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The Seagulls follow the trawler

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By *iewMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

is it not genuine.......

ffs, timewaster .... timewaster..... TIMEWASTER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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By *iewMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

obviously not abusing..

just joining in the banter before I feel a size 9 up ma jacksie......

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Ha ha! Hilarious! I do believe this thread was dropped on us less as a wind up cause, but more as a funny pastiche on numerous whinges from owners of proud dongs that do not like being made do go without their rightful share of blivvet, lol.

In which case, it succeeds perfectly!

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By *ruitWoman  over a year ago

near kings lynn


"Erm. All sounds like a toal wind up to me

But aimed at whom?!"

To anyone who is gonna choose to reply.

All sounds a massive wind up to me and he is just sat waiting for people to have a go or something

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Well, I thought it was exceptionally well thought out and to the point ! I do have a rather sad feeling though that is a wind up ladies and gentlemen. Where are the usual forum bods that shoot 'em down and the cryptic goth, is she under her coffin, did it fall on her ???? Is there life on Mars does the pope crap in the woods ?

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By *eviousLiasonsCouple  over a year ago

Travelling


"....a funny pastiche...."

Is that one of them cornish pies with turnips and pedigree chum inside?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"....a funny pastiche....

Is that one of them cornish pies with turnips and pedigree chum inside?"

One of them, yeah.

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By *ruitWoman  over a year ago

near kings lynn

If its not then am sure this man is gonna get the ladies falling over to meet him lol

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By *harpDressed ManMan  over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

[Removed by poster at 28/09/10 13:35:54]

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By *b430Man  over a year ago

Tayside

And it's not even Thursday yet, but the wind ups have started.

Nice try, but no cigar, this time!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Nah, if it was a wind up it would have been done a bit more subtly. Without the words "over to you..." at the end either. It can only be a joke, but a half decent one in my opinion.

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By *b430Man  over a year ago

Tayside


" Nah, if it was a wind up it would have been done a bit more subtly. Without the words "over to you..." at the end either. It can only be a joke, but a half decent one in my opinion."

A joke is a wind up!

They are one and the same!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Mmmm. Custard.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

come out come out who ever you are ,, lol wind up ........ who is it ,, l

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By *mumaWoman  over a year ago

Livingston

never has a beseeching thread moved me so much!!!

knickers off, bent over and waiting........... bring it on big boy

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By *b430Man  over a year ago

Tayside

It's a moan, it has obviously "planted" spelling mistakes, etc.

All the ingredients to get folk going and "attack" the OP so it's so obvious a joke/wind-up (whatever you want to call it).

So back to my original comment of - close but no cigar.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Erm. All sounds like a toal wind up to me"

LOL...of course it is...isn't it?!!

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By *harpDressed ManMan  over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

There's a discussion about whether the OP is serious?????

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

laugh?.... I'll never get these pants dry.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I dunno why I waste my time on some of you lot. I av a well fought out profile, i iz highly intelligant innit, i send out loads of begging messages and being impaled by my mighty weapon wud leave a woman gasping like shed bin ridden by thors rusty mallet. Its bout time one of the old bints on ere drooped er kecks and let me fill er up wiv my salty man poreidge.

over to you...."

Why you is liftin dis stuff from my old singles profile innit?

I gots to agree wiv ya tho. When all ya wants is ta empty ya mansack and dem bitches dun wanna open up, man is frustratin innit.

Right on, bro.

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By *unky monkeyMan  over a year ago

in the night garden


"I dunno why I waste my time on some of you lot. I av a well fought out profile, i iz highly intelligant innit, i send out loads of begging messages and being impaled by my mighty weapon wud leave a woman gasping like shed bin ridden by thors rusty mallet. Its bout time one of the old bints on ere drooped er kecks and let me fill er up wiv my salty man poreidge.

over to you....

Why you is liftin dis stuff from my old singles profile innit?

I gots to agree wiv ya tho. When all ya wants is ta empty ya mansack and dem bitches dun wanna open up, man is frustratin innit.

Right on, bro. "

LOL Wishy that was off the shizzle, are you originally from the hood by chance?

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By *ugby 123Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

lol loving the fact people are not sure what to make of it.

I took it as he is extracting the Micheal over whiney whinges.

Made me laugh anyway

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I catched his drift, I knows where he is springing from. I'm a thinking he maybe wants to bat for both sides cos we guys aint fussy bout where we park huh?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Good luck to the OP, you'll need plenty of it!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

made me smile ,,,,,,,

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By *ot cottons tabard OP   Man  over a year ago

Enfield

Whoooooosh

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Perhaps if you wrote in english it might help??

And just because you think your mighty weapon would leave a woman gasping doesnt mean to say women will think so, lets face it who said? You did, well endowed doesnt mean good sex does it

And this old bint doesnt drop her kecks for anyone, she likes a bit of intelligence on the end of her cock, and she hates porridge

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

He he Ya had em all going OP xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"There's a discussion about whether the OP is serious?????

"

im only here cos he mentioned food but porridge, what a let down

'slinks off to see if goths left any toast crumbs in her coffin'

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I dunno why I waste my time on some of you lot. I av a well fought out profile, i iz highly intelligant innit, i send out loads of begging messages and being impaled by my mighty weapon wud leave a woman gasping like shed bin ridden by thors rusty mallet. Its bout time one of the old bints on ere drooped er kecks and let me fill er up wiv my salty man poreidge.

over to you...."

urrgh, with swinging safe sex or no sex. no porridge in a morning for me do i look like goldilocks?

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By *ruitWoman  over a year ago

near kings lynn

I am still trying to work out where the Op got such words from. I must hang out with the wrong crowd lol.

Either that or just old and have not the foggiest what people are referring too lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Whoooooosh"

Psssst!!! Still too subtle!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Whoooooosh

Psssst!!! Still too subtle!! "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Sometimes a sledge hammer is required

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The op is well funny . who is the guy he is trying to immitate ?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Me thinks it's a wind-up with maybe a hidden message -

A bloke down the pub once said to me on having returned from holiday - Got there and on 1st nite I was getting proper kb'd by some right dog's who I wudna have shagged wit ur's and I was just being friendly..

So I said he must not have enjoyed his holiday to which he replied oh yes, had a good chat round the pool with the birds during the day and then had loads of shags -

The moral of this story and true to this site is that some people do adopt a bit of a 'holiday princess' attitude (my Quantico training says due to an overload of attention) and treat people without the proper respect but if you are a decent person then it will win through in the end.

If you want sun n fun you need to be prepared to put up with the travel...

Now where's duty free??

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

,

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By *rummiePartyManMan  over a year ago

birmingham

If yer gonna be found guilty, you might as well commit the crime.

Sounds like the OP was playing to the preconceptions that most have about single guys.

Nice bit of parody if you ask me.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Yup parody - and analagous..

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By *rummiePartyManMan  over a year ago

birmingham

Hold on, let me go get my dick-shun-ry...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Genius... made me giggle lol!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I fink ez jus mi tipe!!

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By *umpkinMan  over a year ago

near the sounds of the wimborne quarter jack!


"lol loving the fact people are not sure what to make of it.

I took it as he is extracting the Micheal over whiney whinges.

Made me laugh anyway "

That`s exactly how I saw it too!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The moral of this story and true to this site is that some people do adopt a bit of a 'holiday princess' attitude (my Quantico training says due to an overload of attention) and treat people without the proper respect ..."

Absolutely. Put a rough old bruiser in a room full of men where she's the only woman, and they'll fight like dogs over her.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The moral of this story and true to this site is that some people do adopt a bit of a 'holiday princess' attitude (my Quantico training says due to an overload of attention) and treat people without the proper respect ...

Absolutely. Put a rough old bruiser in a room full of men where she's the only woman, and they'll fight like dogs over her."

Oi leave my old Mum outta this...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

cant believe how many people thought this was not a wind up pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The moral of this story and true to this site is that some people do adopt a bit of a 'holiday princess' attitude (my Quantico training says due to an overload of attention) and treat people without the proper respect ...

Absolutely. Put a rough old bruiser in a room full of men where she's the only woman, and they'll fight like dogs over her.

Oi leave my old Mum outta this... "

Leave her out? She fookin paid me to put her in!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I fink ez jus mi tipe!!"

Yeah but no but yeah but...I'd do him: he sounds gawjuss!!

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By *ot cottons tabard OP   Man  over a year ago

Enfield


"I fink ez jus mi tipe!!

Yeah but no but yeah but...I'd do him: he sounds gawjuss!! "

Just so you know, there is a person with feelings inside this flabby 16 stone tub of lard. I'm not a piece of meat put here soley to be abused as some sort of wobbly sex toy. I too have needs to be attended, such as the removal of this 3 week old cherseburger from my bellybutton. Erotically.

Alternatively I could just dry ride you whilst you catch up with the days events on The One Show.

Sort it out amongst yourselves who gets the first portion. I'm sexy enough to tackle both you beauties.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I fink ez jus mi tipe!!

Yeah but no but yeah but...I'd do him: he sounds gawjuss!!

Just so you know, there is a person with feelings inside this flabby 16 stone tub of lard. I'm not a piece of meat put here soley to be abused as some sort of wobbly sex toy. I too have needs to be attended, such as the removal of this 3 week old cherseburger from my bellybutton. Erotically.

Alternatively I could just dry ride you whilst you catch up with the days events on The One Show.

Sort it out amongst yourselves who gets the first portion. I'm sexy enough to tackle both you beauties."

Ewwww...that's perverse: the One Show?!! Matt Barbett Channel Five news and licking the cheese of the burger in your belly button sounds like a night to remember!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"cant believe how many people thought this was not a wind up pmsl "

Me neither!! lmfao

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I dunno why I waste my time on some of you lot. I av a well fought out profile, i iz highly intelligant innit, i send out loads of begging messages and being impaled by my mighty weapon wud leave a woman gasping like shed bin ridden by thors rusty mallet. Its bout time one of the old bints on ere drooped er kecks and let me fill er up wiv my salty man poreidge.

over to you...."

A great windup and very entertaining in the way you have typed. It is a humorous slant on the single man moan.

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By *5dualproMan  over a year ago

dudley

I can't believe you lot. Whoosh is right! The fact that you can't grasp the humour of the original message makes me wince. Fair play to the people who do get it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I can't believe you lot. Whoosh is right! The fact that you can't grasp the humour of the original message makes me wince. Fair play to the people who do get it. "

Subtle doesnt always work with some of us and why should we not believe the OP when some of us get similar messages all the time!!!

And what does whoosh mean??

Far too many single guys do think they are gods gift to sex and think women that swing will drop their knickers for anyone

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Grey hun whoosh means it went over everyone's head lol

Its usually accompanied by a hand gesture over the head xxx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Grey hun whoosh means it went over everyone's head lol

Its usually accompanied by a hand gesture over the head xxx"

ah gotcha now, there was me thinking its what you say when you go down a fairground round lol

pathetic

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Are you lot still discussing this?!

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